The Heart of the Matter
by Tiger Sunrise
Summary: Spike's back with his soul. How are people adjusting? How are Spike and Buffy? TWO AUTHOR COLLABORATION! TEQUILA SUNRISE, and TIGERWOLF! *FINISHED!!!* Hurray for us! Complete with HAPPY ENDING!!!
1. Welcome Wagon.

Disclaimer: The characters aren't ours, we're just borrowing them for the summer. Also, the song lirics that are quoted here? I have no clue who sings them, but they seemed approapriate. If anyone knows the name of the singer, please tell us so that we can put a proper disclaimer. Also, whoever tells us will be mentioned in an up coming chapter. Summary: Spike returns to Sunnydale, needing forgiveness and friendship. Weither or not he recieves either of them remains to be seen... ==THREE AUTHOR COLLABORATION==  
  
Setting: Training Room, in the back of the Magic Box. Other locations later.  
  
Characters: Buffy/Spike (Possibly other characters later.)  
  
Pairing: Buffy/Spike  
  
Author's Note 1, Tigerwolf: This story was written as an RPG between Tequila Sunrise, MissKitieFantastico, and myself, that is why it says actors/authors below. It will definitely have up coming chapters. Think of this as a pathetic attempt by the me to expound on my story What I Wanted, which so many people said needed more of a middle. Sunrise and MissKitie may have author's notes later. Author's Notes2: Hi again. Still me. I just wanted to add that I know that Spike was in Africa for a soul all along. But neither Sunrise, nor myself knew that when we started this. So the story is written the way that it is for that reason. I really don't need anymore reviews telling me that Spike wanted a soul all along. Three out of the five reviews on ff.net for this story were just people telling me that. It's annoying. Thank you.  
  
Title: The Heart Of The Matter Actors/Authors: MissKitieFantastico as Willow, Tequila Sunrise as Buffy, Tigerwolf as Spike  
  
I've been trying to get down, To the heart of the matter, But my flesh is so weak, And the ashes all scatter, But I think it's about, Forgiveness, forgiveness, Even if, even if, You don't love me, anymore.  
  
He had been back for less than a day. And the first place he'd gone was the magick shop.  
  
Spike was still feeling pretty bad, due to the whole "soul" fiasco. He was sitting on a pile of boards in the back room of the newly repaired Magic Box, doing the one thing that he had sworn never to do: brood. Then the door opened...  
  
Buffy walked in, hoping to replace the magic texts Giles had asked she borrow, and slip back to the training room with as little contact with anyone as possible.  
  
Walking in, she closed the door behind her, leaned against it in relief. Something tickled at the back of her neck. Turning, she saw who sat in the corner of the room. Her stomach rolled, and she controlled herself by sheer will. Her face was pale, and she tried to steady her voice.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" Her hand went to the back of her pants, a stake stuck there by habit. Her eyes welled against her will and she bit the tears back fiercely. "Answer me."  
  
Spike looked up at Buffy's verbal assult. "Resting," he answered quietly. He hadn't told Buffy about his soul, yet, in fact, he hadn't seen her in more than four months. And the last time he'd seen her, it hadn't gone so well. At the memory of what he'd almost done, he felt a fresh wave of nausea.  
  
"Resting from what? Did you try to rape someone else?!"  
  
It was quite obvious now that there was indeed something wrong with Spike, his pale skin turned a light shade of green, and he turned around and vomited in the corner.  
  
Now, Buffy felt a little sorry for her hasty comments. She walked over to Spike, unsure if a hand on his shoulder would be a good idea or not.... Her hand jerked toward his shoulder, touched it briefly, barely the space of a second, then pulled it back. Her eyes darted back and forth nervously. What the hell was going on??  
  
She wrapped her arms around herself, and waited for him to regain a sitting position. She had done thinking over the last four months. A lot of it. They had both been wrong. Lots and lots of wrong. And then he was gone. ... She hadn't let Xander kill him. At the time she had wondered why. Now she knew.  
  
Sitting down on a mat a few feet away from him, she said quietly, more gently, "Why are you here?" Her eyes on his, she took the stake from her pocket, and set it between them. Wetting her lips, she shoved it closer to him. Out of her arms reach.  
  
Spike, doing his best to seem calm, despite the fact that he'd just puked his guts out all over the floor, managed to get back into a sitting position, on the mat, this time. He glanced at the stake on the floor between them, it's signifigance not escaping him. It was a gesture of faith.  
  
"Why am I here?", he asked quietly. It was almost like he was unable to raise his voice. But, with all the times that he'd thrown up recently, maybe he actually couldn't speak any louder. "I came back to see you. To... try to explain."  
  
Buffy started to protest, to fall back into her old ways of insulting him, but something stopped her. He looked so... broken. As if something had taken his body, for this wasn't the cocky Spike that she'd known for so long. This Spike was quiet, contemplative, and he was doing a very good impression of a whipped puppy. He'd even flinched when she'd glared at him, that wasn't normal. So, she decided to let him try to explain, even though she knew that nothing he said would make up for what he'd done, she decided to give him a chance. One chance. "Ok," she said, matching his quite tone. "Let's start with where you've been for the last four months."  
  
"Africa, then, more recently, on a cargo ship."  
  
"What!", she yelped, forgetting momentarily to speak quietly. But she remembered when Spike flinched again at her loudness. "Sorry. What were you doing in Africa?"  
  
"Getting back something I'd lost, a long time ago. It was hard, and I had to fight this git with flaming fists. Don't chuckle, Slayer. I'm not kidding." There was a bit of the old Spike returning to his tone, now. "Anyway, I passed the test, and this demon Shaman gave me what I'd gone there for." He skipped a beat. "I really can't hurt you now, Buffy."  
  
"What, did this guy reprogram your chip?"  
  
"No. Actually, the chip doesn't work at all, now. Before you have a fit, let me tell you what the Shaman did do." He reached forward, taking Buffy's hands in his like he had done the night she had returned from the dead. And he'd known the number of days she'd been gone. Just like she had been counting the days since he'd left. 157. Ten more days than she'd been dead. And, she noticed that it didn't bother her that he was touching her, cause there was something different about him...  
  
"So, what did he do, then?"  
  
Spike leaned forward, keeping his blue eyes locked on hers. "Buffy," he said, his voice one of total seriousness. "The Shaman gave me a gift. One that I can never lose, I don't have a clause on this."  
  
"Spike, what are you talking about?"  
  
"Slayer, don't you feel it? The Shaman restored my soul."  
  
Anger was fading so quickly. And behind that, well, that wasn't somewhere that Buffy dealt well with. She knew that.  
  
She stared at their hands, over his still unbeating heart. She had sensed it. Not totally grasped what was different, just that something... something was not the same with her ex-lover. God. Ex-lover. That had taken some getting used to thinking.  
  
Then... "Soul?" She scurried back a bit, her butt skidding six inches before she realized what she was doing. Running. The chosen did not run.  
  
"Yeah, luv-Buffy. A soul."  
  
"You... went to Africa... to get a *soul*?"  
  
"Well... No... Not... actually. Technically." His clouded blue eyes met hers. "I was sick. So sick a' being your lap dog. Your bitch. You broke me. I wanted to- needed to- thought I wanted to kill you. So I went about it the only way I knew how. I fought. And fought long and hard. I told the bloke. Chip out. Give that bi- girl what she deserves."  
  
Her hand slid away from his chest, to her lap, and his fell, too. He stared at the jagged scar that refused to heal across three knuckles. "And I fought. And I won. So... He said... The demon said he'd restore me. To how I was... I was so elated. I'd be who I truly was. Who I wanted to be. He gave me a soul. He was right to."  
  
Buffy was stung deeper than she thought possible. "Yay for the demon soul- giver, Spike. Bet he ruined your chance at one good day."  
  
He looked at her, pained. "I was as hurt as you are now. Maybe more. Maybe less. But... I'm glad. I can really..." He stopped. "Can we just not talk now? Can I just- I just want-" His hand reached out, almost stroking her hair, but not quite. "May I touch you?"  
  
Buffy drew back a little. "Spike, I'm not ready to-"  
  
"Not like that... I just... want to touch you. Please Buffy." His eyes pleaded more eloquently than his voice.  
  
And Buffy slowly tilted her head and rested it in his hand.  
  
Spike let out a sigh as he felt Buffy lean into his waiting hand. It had been so long, too long. He'd almost forgotten how warm she was, how alive. He felt tears well up in his eyes, but he managed to fight them back, for the moment. God, he'd missed her so much. His life, well, unlife, wasn't the same without her in it. He gently stroked her face with the pad of his thumb, as if trying to memorize her features with his touch.  
  
Buffy's eyes drifted closed, and she allowed herself to feel, for a moment, at least, how much she had actually missed him. She was a little startled when his hand moved away, and, when she opened her eyes, she almost couldn't believe it.  
  
Spike was turned with his back slightly to her, his shoulders shaking. He'd lost his internal battle with the tears that had threatened him from the moment she'd entered the room. And he kept muttering three words over and over..  
  
"I'm so sorry..."  
  
Buffy laid her hands on his quaking shoulders.  
  
"You hurt me." She felt his chest heave with deep un-necessary breaths. "But I hurt you too." She bit her bottom lip. "I probably hurt you first..."  
  
She slid her hands lower, wrapped her arms around him, and laid her head on his back. His scent had changed. Somehow.... Somehow it was deeper... The brandy, the cigarettes were still there... But there was.... almost like the beach. Like sand had been ingrained into his trademark scent, too. And it suited him now. Tempered the fire of his eyes. Of his heart. It didn't... didn't smother it. "I don't know what... What's gonna happen... Or why you're back... " Buffy swallowed. "One hundred fifty seven."  
  
His shoulders had stopped shaking, but his breathing always unnecessary, but so.... automatic, was still eratic. "What?"  
  
"You were gone."  
  
They both knew it cost her to say. But she thought. it told, too. Let him know where she stood.  
  
Her hands stroked up and down over his stomach. Not. enticingly. Just touch. Just a connection. "So much has changed. You have so much to catch up on. And I'm not going to fall into your arms, Spike, if that's why you're even here. But. I." She bit her lip, nudged her head into his back. "You still mix me up inside. Please don't cry, Spike. I'm sorry, too."  
  
Spike leaned into her touch, trying to stop the tears, he was beginning to feel just a little bit better. After a moment, he pulled away, although he didn't really want to. Her touch was so gentle, caring. That was something he really needed right then. He turned back around, his blue eyes still reddened by the tears.  
  
"So," he muttered, rather embarrassed. "Guess you finally get to see the Big Bad break down, eh? The other Scoobies have already seen it."  
  
"When?", Buffy asked, tentively rubbing small circles on his back. He was pushing against her hand, almost like a cat. She smiled slightly at the mental image. "I find it hard to believe that you'd ever allow them to see you cry." The statement was meant as a gentle jibe, and it came out as such, but she didn't expect this to cause another quiet sob from the vampire. "Hey, I was kidding.."  
  
"I know," he said. "It was just... it was when you... died." That last word came out in an extremely quiet whisper. Buffy wouldn't have even heard it, if it weren't for her Slayer hearing.  
  
"Oh..", Buffy said, likewise quiet. "Sorry. I didn't mean to..."  
  
"S'ok, Slayer," Spike said with a sniff. "I'm just a little emotional today, aparently." He stiffened his back a little, a subtle hint for Buffy to remove her hand from his back, she took it, placing her hands in her lap.  
  
"So," Spike began again. "I've told you what happened to me while I was away. Now it's you're turn to tell me what I missed."  
  
Buffy took a deep breath, where to begin?  
  
She exhaled deeply, considering. "After... After you..." She wetted her lips again. When had she gotten into that habit? "Left. After you left. Things went downhill. Ummm... Warren and the 2 Nerds tried to take over. I kinda... I stopped them." She felt tears rising to the fore. "Warren escaped, and came back. He... He shot me."  
  
Spike's face slowly took on a cold rage. "Where is he?"  
  
Buffy shook her head. "A second bullet went by me. And into-" She let the tears fall, because they were for someone she loved. "Into Tara." She took Spike's hand. "She's.. She'd... She died, Spike. Willow went on a binge. Dark dark magics. Very bad. There was... almost an apocolypse."  
  
"How did you stop it?"  
  
"Actually...."  
  
  
  
Twenty minutes later, after the whole tale had been told, they sat in a companionable silence. Finally, Spike spoke up.  
  
"The watcher's back?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Looking after Willow."  
  
"Luv, I'm so sorry I wasn't here..."  
  
"So am I. But we wouldn't have been much good to eachother. And we couldn't have stopped it. Only Xander."  
  
Spike shook his head ruefully. "The whelp. Who'd have thought it?"  
  
She leveled a gaze at him. "Me. Dawn patrols with me, now."  
  
"Platelet?? Buffy! She's a little girl-"  
  
"She slayed demons by my side. Ready to fight till the end. It's hard to take, but she's a young woman. Well on her way to being great."  
  
He nodded sagely. "I guessed as much. Does she- Does she hate me now?"  
  
Buffy gazed at him, weighing her words. "Immensly hurt. She's angry with you. But it's because she loves you. She and Clem are friends now." She looked at him shyly. "I had him keep your crypt." Spike grinned. "Thanks, Slayer. That was nice of you."  
  
"Yeah, well, he was doing it anyway, but I made sure he didn't leave, or touch any of your stuff."  
  
"What was left of it, you mean," Spike said, and then instantly regretted it. He hadn't meant to bring up the night they'd broken up. But Buffy either didn't notice the accidental reference, or chose to ignore it.  
  
"Well, the upstairs stuff, anyway."  
  
Spike grinned even wider. "Yeah," he chuckled. "I always was fond of my telly."  
  
Buffy let out a small laugh in response, and stood up. "Would you like to see the others?"  
  
Spike swallowed and rose to his feet. "Guess so. I'm a little more worried about weather or not they want to see me. Somehow, this soul makes the opinions of others seem really important."  
  
Buffy gave him a reassuring smile, and offered her hand to him. He took it and allowed her to lead him to the door, whatever the other scoobies said, at least he had her.  
  
TBC...  
  
Hey, all! This is Tequila Sunrise! Um... WE KNOW that he went for a soul straight off, ok? I, personally didn't, because I was quite caught up in the genuine terror in his eyes, and the care-chested-ness of it all. K? Ok. And! If we get ANY notes about said soul, I will note you back, asking you oh-so-politely to PLEASE pay the SLIGHTEST bit of attention to author's notes. I'm just kidding, y'all, but seriously, we know. And we're GLAD you know! But we know, too. So go share the wealth with the other, less fortunate ignorant Buffy fans. (btw, ignorant-adj. lacking knowledge or comprehension of the thing specified. Webster's Collegiate Dictionary) NOT STUPID! NO ONE WHO LIKES BUFFY CAN BE STUPID! That said, have a great day! And please keep reading. We should have about one or two chapters up every day or so.  
  
Always. Tequila Sunrise 


	2. A Map.

Disclaimer, Summary: See chapter 1. Song Disclaimer: This song is either The Heart Of The Matter, or Forgivness by Don Henley. It does not belong to us. Author's Notes: It's me, Tigerwolf again. Ok. This is for drinktheposion and anyone else who thought that we made a mistake about Spike's soul. When we started writing this, Two To Go and Grave hadn't even aired yet. All we knew was that Spike was getting a soul. So, we ran with it. This is the result of that assumption. I'm sorry for everyone who got rather upset with us because of something we didn't even know about at the time. Thank you for reading this note. Authors Notes 2: And a big thanks to Spooky-Girl for giving us the name and artist of the song used at the beginning of each chapter. Although Spooky- Girl thought that the title was "The Heart Of The Matter", and Julia Nusbaum thought it was "Forgiveness". Either way, thanks you guys! =) Actors/Authors: Tigerwolf as Spike, Tequila Sunrise as Buffy, MissKitieFantastico as Willow (Additional characters are shared by all) Title: The Heart Of The Matter Chapter 2  
  
I've been trying to get down To the heart of the matter But the flesh is so weak And the ashes all scatter But I think it's about Forgiveness, forgiveness Even if, even if You don't love me anymore  
  
Buffy swallowed hard, knowing she gave a great impression of confidence, and knowing that Spike never had, nor would he ever swallow her bullshit.  
  
"Xander still hates you."  
  
His eyes clouded but he said cheerily, "I'd be disappointed with anything less."  
  
"But he won't give you shit anymore. At least... Not too much. He understands what you mean- meant to me. Anya is demon-ee again. But... She won't do vengence." She opened the door.  
  
Giles sat at a round table, books all around him. But not ancient ones. Spike looked closely at them. "Help For Recovering Addicts". [i]Must be for Red[/i]. As the Watcher looked up, surprise crossed his features, and sadness tinged his eyes. It faded however, to protective fierceness. As fiercely elegant as Giles always was, he acknowledged. Standing and taking a subtle fighting stance in one fluid motion, Giles said smoothly, "Well. Hello, Spike."  
  
"Wa-Giles."  
  
An awkward silence fell. Finally Giles cleared his throat, cleaned his glasses and said, "Well? Are you ready to kill us?"  
  
Bitterness tinged Spike's response. "I didn't come for that, Rupe. I think... I think that I'm officially a clichee."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I didn't get the chip removed, Watcher. I got a soul reinstated."  
  
Giles was dumbstruck, which looked rather funny on him. He motioned as if to remove his glasses, only then realizing that he had already removed them.  
  
"A.. soul," he said finally. "Are you sure?"  
  
Spike rolled his eyes and responded, "No, I have no clue what it feels like to hate yourself for your entire life. So how could I possibly know what it feels like to have a soul? Cause, heaven forbid that [i]I[/i] could ever get a second chance..." Tears had filled Spike's blue eyes again, and Buffy tried to stop his rant by placing a hand on his shoulder, but Spike shrugged it off. "Because no one would ever give old William the Bloody a second chance, no! He was never evil enough. You have to be the bloody Scourge of Europe to deserve a second, no, third chance!" Spike's body was shaking with a combination of rage and guilt. Finally the rage spent itself and Spike sank into a chair across the table from Giles, silent tears rolling down his pale cheeks.  
  
Giles, for his part, was completely shocked at Spike's outburst. Not because he'd never blown up before, god knows he had, but because he hadn't been yelling at Giles, he had been yelling at himself. "Well," Giles said. "I think we can be certain that you do have a soul. Considering that you appear to be angrier at yourself than at us."  
  
Buffy allowed a hand to rest on Spike's shoulder as she stood behind him. Trying to reassure him, without making it obvious to Giles that was what she was doing. Spike had finally calmed down, when the door opened, and another emotional outburst waiting to happen walked it. Spike looked up.  
  
"L'il Bit?"  
  
Spike stood to face her.  
  
Dawn's ready smile faded off her face, and took a patented, teenaged, "I don't give a rat's butt about you, but I'm gonna make you feel like hell anyway" look. Her eyes fired, and she glared at Spike.  
  
"Welcome home." The 'asshole' was unspoken, but heard clear as a bell.  
  
Buffy looked nervously at her sister. "Dawnie... Spike is-"  
  
"A grown vampire who can speak for himself if he even thinks he can defend himself." She folded her arms. "Well, Mr. Explanation?"  
  
He needed to be delicate here. She didn't hate him. She was hurt. Well, bloody hell, so was he! "Listen, little bit. I never meant to hurt you-"  
  
Dawn's fist cracked against his nose, much like Buffy's always had. Everyone in the shop stopped in surprise, and there were only two movements: Dawn quivering in rage, and Spike, wiping gently at the trickle of blood down his nose.  
  
"Well you [i]DID[/i]!" She let out a choked sob and launched herself at him, gripping him in a tight hug.  
  
Spike stared at the teen wrapped around his middle, crying. His arms snaked around her cautiously. "Nibblet, don't cry." He turned his face into her hair. [i]Hope she doesn't kill me for gettin' blood in it[/i]. "God, don't cry. It hurts." His own eyes welled when a wracking sob tore through her, as she tried to settle herself down.  
  
Buffy frowned. She hadn't known the four months had been that hard on her little sister.  
  
And her heart broke when Dawn looked up at Spike, eyes huge and watery and said hoarsely, "You aren't going to hurt her again, are you?" Her bottom lip trembled. "Hurt us?"  
  
Spike looked down at the emotionally drained teenager in his arms, the tears threatening to fall again. "Never again, Niblet. Never again, I promise."  
  
"And Spike keeps his promises," Buffy spoke up from behind him, offering a small smile. Spike looked back over his shoulder, giving the Slayer a grateful look, then back down at Dawn, who was now holding him even tighter, her head resting on his chest.  
  
"The Slayer's right, Bit," he whispered. "Besides, you know I love you. And I wouldn't have left, except that I needed something."  
  
"You know where the store is, so what did you need that took [i]four months[/i] to get? Where did you go? Austrailia?"  
  
Spike chuckled a little. "Actually, I went to Africa, so you're not too far off."  
  
"[i]AFRICA![/i]", Dawn blurted, pulling slightly away from the vampire. "What the.." She glanced at Buffy and Giles. "..heck were you doing in [i]Africa[/i]?"  
  
"You want to tell her?", Spike asked, shooting Buffy a playful look.  
  
"Oh no," Buffy said, allowing a smile to appear on her face for the first time since Dawn had come in. "By all means, it's your soul.. Oops."  
  
Dawn pulled back and stared at Spike. "A soul! You have a soul? That's great!" She hugged him again. Spike blinked, that wasn't exactly the reaction he was expecting.  
  
"You're not upset, Niblet?"  
  
"Of course not," she said, hugging him again. Then she pulled back and narrowed her eyes. "Wait a minute. You can't lose the soul, can you? You don't have that clause, like Angel?"  
  
Spike grinned. "If I did, I would have lost the bleedin' thing the moment you hugged me, L'il Bit."  
  
At this, Dawn let out a squeal and completely knocked Spike over. The two of them were now on the floor, laughing. It was at this time, that Willow came in.  
  
"Willow?" Buffy questioned.  
  
"Hey Buffy." Willow smiled softly, stepping down into the Magic Box, hands full of books. "I just-- I just came to drop these off." She said quietly.  
  
Stepping around Dawn and Spike, Willow dropped the books on the table Giles was occupying. He gave her a curious look before lowering his eyes to the texts.  
  
"I d-don't need them anymore..." She said, eyes on her hands, wringing them together nervously.  
  
"That's good Willow, thank you." Giles offered softly.  
  
"I-I should be going. I don't want to bother you." Eyes on the floor, Willow made her way back to the door.  
  
"Wait!" Dawn said, shooting up from the floor.  
  
"Willow you don't have to go." Buffy said, reaching her hand out for the ex- witch.  
  
"Yeah, Buffy's right, you should stay. Y'know, cuz... Spike's here! He came back." Dawn said enthusiatically, glancing down at Spike, who was picking himself off the floor.  
  
"No." Willow turned around sharply, and she caught the disappointed look in Dawn's eyes. "I can't." She added, her eyes softening, and starting to water.  
  
The guilt over what she had almost done, what she HAD done, was eating her alive. She couldn't be around them. They loved her, and she tried to kill them all, and she couldn't even look them in the eye. Never again.  
  
"I- I'm sorry." Willow rushed out her apology, and bolted for the door, thowing it open and disappearing into the daylight.  
  
"Well," Spike said, standing up and brushing himself off. "That broke the good mood."  
  
"I should go after her," Buffy said, but Dawn stopped her. "Dawny, what is it?"  
  
"Let's all go." She glanced at her vampire friend. "[i]All[/i] of us. Maybe Spike can help."  
  
Spike looked at Buffy for permission, she nodded. "Good idea, Dawn. We'll all go." She turned to the former Watcher. "Giles? Wanna come with?"  
  
Giles replaced his glasses and regarded the Slayer, her sister, and the vampire, then shook his head. "No, I should probably stay here untill Anya comes back. Since she and Xander have begun speaking to each other again, I've been doing alot more around the shop."  
  
Spike glanced at the door, and the sunshine that was filtered through it. "If I'm going, I'd better take the sewers."  
  
"We can come with you, Spike," that was Buffy, suprisingly. Even Dawn looked at her with a strange look on her face. She wasn't used to this "caring about Spike" side of her sister, yet. But she liked it.  
  
"No need, Luv," Spike said, heading for the back room again, and the sewer entrance. "I'll meet you two girls there." Then, under his breath, "Gotta pick up my jacket, anyway."  
  
Willow tossed her keyes on the table by the door, and then slammed the door shut. The entire walk, run rather, back to the house, she had been holding in her tears, but the moment she crossed the threshold, she couldn't any longer.  
  
Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she raced up the stairs and into her bedroom. Gasping for air, she stopped, taking a look around her, realizing she didn't want to be here... the memories, they were just too much. Too much. Memories of her and Tara, the day she came back to Willow and the future that was finally back in Willow's grasp.  
  
The bed. That damn bed! She was so happy, so happy... and he took it away from her. Wiped away everything Willow wanted-- [i]needed[/i]-- in her life, and she could never get it back.  
  
She let out a loud sob, and ripped the comforter off that damn bed, proceed to rip it clean of everything until there was nothing left but the mattress. It didn't help. She could still smell her, everywhere, and FEEL her... Inside her head, in her heart, and in her body and it wouldn't go away!  
  
Everything was tainted with Tara. The books on the shelves. The clock on the table. The pink pen on the desk with the feathered end. The brush on the nightstand that Tara used to comb Willows hair at night... Flashes of Tara ran through her brain and she couldn't make it stop. It wouldn't stop.  
  
Willow would sit at the vanity and gaze at Tara through the mirror as she'd run the silver brush through her red locks, then run her hands through Willow's hair, so softly when she was finished...  
  
"No!" She screamed, turning around, her arms flailing out at the vanity, wiping it clean. Glass and make-up tumbled to the floor, and an expensive, and fragile, blown glass figurine shattered upon impact.  
  
She dropped to the floor, completely spent, tears running down her face, burning her cheeks and her eyes...  
  
"Make it stop..." She whispered. "Please, I can't take it anymore..."  
  
She curled up into a ball on the floor, sobbing, trying to make it go away with the sheer force of her will, but it wouldn't.  
  
The grief, the pain, the regret, the guilt... it wouldn't go away.  
  
Willow didn't even notice the soft footsteps on the plush carpeting, and the hand on her shaking shoulder... the voice, shushing her softly, telling her it would be alright.  
  
"Easy, Red," Spike said, gently rubbing a hand on Willow's quaking back. "Shh. It's okay."  
  
Willow didn't look at him. "They won't go away...", she mumbles through her tears, curling up more.  
  
"Who won't go away?", Spike asked gently.  
  
"Them... I hurt them... and she.. I can't get her out of my head!", Willow said, as she slammed her fist into the floor.  
  
"Them? The Scoobies?" Spike lifted her chin. "Red, look at me. Are you talking about the scoobies?"  
  
Willow looked at him, then, in an almost inauditable whisper,"yes".  
  
Spike sat down next to her. "Look, pet. I know it's bad..."  
  
"You know!?", Willow interrupted him. "How could you possibly know..." She paused for a moment, sensing his soul for the first time. Then, in a quieter voice, "Spike, please help me."  
  
Spike did the first thing he could think of, he pulled the former witch into a hug right there on the floor, gently rocking back and forth.  
  
"...please...", Willow whispers again. About that time, Spike senses another presence, and sees Buffy and Dawn standing in the doorway.  
  
Buffy took in the sight of Willow in Spike's arms sobbing, and her heart broke. Falling on her knees next to them, she wrapped both her arms around Willow. Dawn did the same thing on Willow's other side. The youngest girl was crying right along with Willow.  
  
"I miss her, too, Will." She sniffled largely. "We always watched cartoons, and movies on Saturday."  
  
Buffy said quiletly, "I told her about Spike first. She helped me... Helped me heal..." Tears rolled slowly down the slayer's cheeks. "Can we... Willow, can we mourn with you? Can we all heal together?"  
  
Willow shook her head, still sobbing. "It still hurts... I can't... Just... forget!"  
  
"We don't want to forget. Never. It'll hurt. But we can remember all the good things about Tara. Can we remember how great she was with you, Willow?" This, from Spike, as he ran a hand down her hair softly. "We can help eachother. We can help you. You can help us."  
  
Willow glanced up at the vampire, noticeing the tears glistening in his blue eyes, she attempted to wrap her arms around Spike, Buffy, and Dawn all at once. The four friends held on to each other.  
  
After a long while, they broke the hug and simply sat together on the floor. After awhile, Willow spoke up. Her eyes were still red with tears, but she was making an effort.  
  
"So, Spike," she began, her voice hoarse from all the crying. "You have a soul now?"  
  
Spike attempted a grin, it came out more like a grimmace. "Yeah. Leave it to me to make myself into a poofter."  
  
"I don't think you're a "poofter"," Dawn said, leaning against the vampire. "Whatever that means."  
  
Spike chuckled and slipped an arm around the younger Summers. "It means that I'm like my grandsire, the Great Poof, Angel."  
  
Buffy tried, unsuccessfully to hide a smile, then, to her suprise as much as the others, said, "You forgot to call him a wanker.."  
  
Everyone looked at Buffy for an incredulous moment, then they all, even Willow, burst into a laughing fit. A few much needed moments of laughter later, Buffy looked at the circle of friends and she smiled. "I think if we had a map, this would be Step in The Right Direction One." She kissed her sister's forehead, then Willow's. "I love you guys so much." She looked at Spike over their heads. "So much. We can do this together."  
  
Her heart felt lighter. It still hurt, but... As if knowing she was healing, she felt better. The glimmer of hope in Willow's eyes was fragile, but it was there, and everyone felt it. This was a step in the right direction.  
  
  
  
TBC....  
  
Hey all! Sunrise here. Look, I know this isn't the most original idea, but we think it's a really good story. And remember! *Wink* Shakespere never wrote anything original either, he just wrote it better! And who do we ALLLL study in ninth grade now? Not some guy who did a 'sailing' version of R&J. No! We study the LAND LUBBER ITALIAN version (which, kicks ass, btw). See? People don't need to be original. Just better. lol Sorry. Felt like saying that. You guys are such nice reviewers! Buffy fans are the best out there at it. Seriously. So keep it up! We appreciate it!  
  
Always. Tequila Sunrise 


	3. Joyce, Wings, and IB profen

Disclaimer, Summary, ect.: See chap 1.  
  
Author's Notes, Tigerwolf: This entire chapter was written as a two hour long IMIC (Instant Messanger In Character) conversation between Sunrise and me. It was so fun to write, that I decided to make it a chapter all to itself. Besides, it was too long to add to another part =).  
  
Title: The Heart Of The Matter -- Chapter 3 Actors/Authors: Just Tigerwolf as Spike, and Tequila Sunrise as Buffy.  
  
I've been trying to get down, To the heart of the matter, But the flesh is so weak, And the ashes all scatter, But I think it's about, Forgiveness, forgivness, Even if, even if, You don't love me anymore  
  
Three days had passed since that first break through, and things were looking up for everyone. Willow had begun coming out of her room more, and had actually began talking to people again. Spike had moved back into his crypt, much to Clem's annoyance. And life was returning to normal in Sunnydale.  
  
Spike was sitting in his armchair, watching a rerun of the Passions marathon, when there came a knock at the door. Confused, because the majority of his visitors never knocked, Spike stared at the door for a moment.  
  
Meanwhile, outside, Buffy fidgeted nervously, unsure of why she had knocked- but she had, and it was done.  
  
She sighed. Stupid Buffy.  
  
"Uh, come in?", Spike said, still a little wary of the novelty of someone actually knocking.  
  
Walking very lightly, Buffy entered the crypt. "Hi," she said slowly, knowing it showed that she felt foolish.  
  
Spike relaxed upon seeing the blonde Slayer. "Hi," he replied, rising to his feet. "Do you need me for something?" He hadn't meant it to come out sounding suggestive, but it did. He quickly backpedaled. "Um, I mean, with a fight, or something like that." If vampires could blush, he would have resembled a beet.  
  
Buffy, however, was susceptible to that kind of travesty, and did indeed blush. "No... I... Eh... Um..." For some reason, 'I was just checking on you' wouldn't come out."I wanted to say thanks." She fidgeted for a moment. "For... Ya know... Willow. Dawn. Thank you." She nodded, reinforcing her words.  
  
"Oh, you're.. uh, you're welcome, Sl-.. Buffy," Spike replied. The decision to use her actual name had to be conciously made. It was a show of respect.  
  
She nodded, again. "Oh yeah. Totally welcome." She made a confused face at her own words. "Oh my God. Did I just say that?" Buffy placed the heel of her hand on her forehead. Winced. "I did."  
  
Spike was trying, unsucessfully, not to laugh. Not nessisarily at Buffy, but at both of them, behaving like love-struck teenagers.Finally, he couldn't hold it in any longer, and began laughing so hard that he had to grab the stone wall of the crypt to keep from tipping over.  
  
Buffy listened, for the first time hearing Spike laugh with abandon. Not.... a smirking laugh, which he did exquisitely well... Just... a laugh. And God, was it sexy. And contagious. So very contagious. She started laughing, too. Softly at first, then harder, she just started cracking up, one hand on her ribs, recently injured, and she sucked in breaths, still not even trying to restrain herself.  
  
After a moment, both Spike and Buffy found themselves collapsed on the couch, leaning against each other for support, and still laughing.  
  
Buffy wiped at her eyes, chuckled one last time. "Well..."  
  
"Yeah," Spike said, rubbing his aching ribs. "Well.."  
  
Leaning forward, to put her elbows on her knees, Buffy jerked in a quick breath, then leaned back again, remembering the bruising. Make it casual. She leaned against the arm of the couch.  
  
Spike noticed the Slayers jerky action, and correctly diagnosed it as a response to pain. "You hurt?"  
  
She shook her head negatively. "No. Just... " She arched her back a bit. "Ya know, thought this was a more comfy position, and all." Smiled and blinked innocently.  
  
Spike wasn't fooled for a moment. "Yeah, and I just love taking naps hanging from a coat hanger in my closet.That way, my duster doesn't get lonely."  
  
Her lips quirked, but only momentarily. She schooled them into a controlled, well-deserved smirk. "I kinda got hit."  
  
Spike barely controlled a growl. "Three things. What was it, where was it, and can I kill it?"  
  
Buffy grinned ruefully. "A person, a barfight, and does your soul allow it?"  
  
Spike smirked. "Just tell me you have the bloody wanker's address, and we'll test that last one."  
  
She laid her head on his shoulder for a minute, smiled, then sat back up. "He might have gone to jail for the night. I dunno."  
  
For the instant that Buffy leaned her head on him, Spike had felt like Jello. Damn, he loved that woman. "Well, when he gets out, he'll have a royally pissed off vampire to answer to."  
  
Buffy smiled again. Why had this been so hard before?? "Don't worry about it."  
  
Spike looked at her, love shining in his blue eyes. "I can't help it, luv. When it concerns you, I always worry."  
  
"Thank you." Her eyes downcast, she was suddenly nervous, so she did what she always does when her nerves get the best of her. She started chattering. "But it's really not that bad anymore. Ya know, slayer healing, all that." She grinned emptily, patted her ribs very, very gently. "See?"  
  
Spike, once again, wasn't fooled. "Slayer healing or not, would you like something for the pain? I think I've got some ibuprophen, or somethin' like it, anyway."  
  
She grimaced. "Would it make me a total fake?"  
  
Spike smiled. Not his usual smirk, but an actual smile. "Not if we don't tell anyone else."  
  
Buffy allowed herself a small, pleading smile. "Please? Three or four?"  
  
Spike chuckled. "At least. I once took six, after what that Hell Bitch did to me."  
  
A cloud immediately fell over Buffy's countenance. Shamed, she looked at her hands, folded in her lap. "I'm sorry, Spike."  
  
Spike looked at her, confused. "Sorry? For what?" He stood up and headed for a cabinet that had recently been installed on the wall.  
  
"I... I should have stayed... tended you. After what you did.... and all I did..." She sounded awed over her rudeness. "I yelled at you." She giggled quietly. "My mom would have whooped my ass for that one." She sobered again. "And I yelled at you."  
  
Spike glanced over his shoulder, eyeing the young woman on the couch. "Ancient history, luv. Besides, I don't blame you. I deserved it."  
  
She tilted her head, considering. "Yeah, well, the bot was... uber-creepy." She looked him in the eye. "That doesn't mean that I was excused."  
  
Spike chuckled as he pulled a bottle from the cabinet and returned to the couch, settling beside her. "Let's just say we're even, ok?" He chuckled again. "And you're right about your mum. She liked me." Unbidden, the tears came out of nowhere, spilling over Spike's cheeks. "I loved her..." He sniffed. "I.. didn't even get to go to the funeral. No one even told me untill it was all over..."  
  
Buffy's eyes welled, and she let the tears go. "I'm sorry, Spike... I didn't even... I didn't think... beyond Dawn... I didn't think... I thought one of the others...." She brought one hand to her throat. Jerked a bit. Reaching around her neck, she unclasped her necklace.  
  
Spike looked at the jewelry through tear-filled eyes. "What's that?"  
  
She took one charm off, and turned Spike's hand over, placing it in his palm. "She would-" Tears streamed as she wiped away one of his own. "She would want it for you."  
  
Spike looked down at the guardian angel charm in his hand, then back at the crying girl in front of him. Without a word, he held his arms out, motioning for her to hug him, letting her know it was okay. She moved into his arms slowly, settled her head against his shirt. She mouthed words against his chest. Then she lifted her head, said it again. "Mommy... My mom... She loved you, too." She glanced at the charm in his hand. "She... she said you were like a guardian angel. I didn't believe her..." She looked into his eyes. "But I do now."  
  
Spike wrapped his arms around the Slayer, holding her tightly, and he looked down at the charm that was still in his palm. He used a finger to turn it over, reading the inscription on the back. "In life, there is no greater joy, than the love of your family". Spike sniffed, trying to stop the tears. "Did she... did she actually say that she loved me?"  
  
Buffy looked in his eyes. "She didn't have to." She laughed tearily. "God, she didn't have to. I'd come home, and this huge grin would be lighting up her face. 'That lovely young man was over,' she'd tell me. 'We had cocoa.'"  
  
Spike chuckled. " 'Lovely young man', am I? Well, she was wrong about the "young" part..." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "But I did love her cocoa. Little marshmallows and everything."  
  
She chuckled. "She knew. I ranted about her inviting you in, over and over. But she just smiled. 'He'd never hurt us, Buffy. And he reads Byron.' Anyone who read Byron.. I'm surprised my mom didn't kiss you." She looked at her hands soberly. "I never made her smile like that..."  
  
Spike gave Buffy an incredulous look. "Never made her smile?! What do you think she talked to me about every time I was over? After everything she told me about you, what a wonderful young woman you were becoming, how beautiful and smart you are, it's no bloody wonder that I fell in love with you, Slayer." Buffy's eyes were alight with tears and hope. "M-Mommy said that about me?"  
  
"That and a whole bunch of other stuff. She was so proud of you, Buffy.." Spike's eyes got a distant look. "I wish my parents had been that proud of me," he said quietly.  
  
Unthinking, she ran a hand down his cheek, cupped it. "They loved you. How could they not?"  
  
Spike leaned into Buffy's touch, momentarily closing his eyes. "I didn't say that they didn't love me, I said that they weren't proud of me. I never did anything to deserve it. Hell, my grandfather was a poet, published and everything, and I couldn't even write anything that wasn't bloody..." He trailed off, remembering that Buffy hadn't known about his "Bloody Awful Poet" days. "Not that I ever wrote poetry, mind you. It was just an expression..."  
  
She wrinkled her brow. "No lies, Spike. So you couldn't write poetry?" She got a bit outraged. "So! Um.. let's stamp 'condemned' on William?" She placed her hand over his, squeezed it. "That's not fair."  
  
Spike tried to hide a sob with a chuckle. "Tell me about it. And now look at me. I've gone right back to my old nickname."  
  
Her other hand snaked up, ran it over the hair on the back of his head. "Spike-... I don't... I thought you got William the Bloody after you were turned..."  
  
He leaned back against her hand. "Nope. I just shortened it. Do you want to know what it was?" She nodded, realizing it was his turn to talk, to hurt.  
  
He gave her a sheepish look. "William the Bloody Awful Poet."  
  
She blinked. Wrinkled her brow, and blinked again. "Are you-" She swallowed. "Oh my."  
  
Spike just looked at her, waiting for the inevitable laugh. The same way Cecily had laughed all those years ago. But she suprised him.  
  
"You... Yeah..." She looked at his eyes. "Why can I see that?" Now it was Spike's turn to blink. She smiled softly. Swiped his hair out of his eyes. "Bent over a notebook, trying to find the right word."  
  
He swallowed. Time to take a chance. "Effulgent." Before she could respond, he continued. "It means something beautiful, or radiant... Like you." He glanced away, embarrassed.  
  
A shy smile curved her lips. She tested it, rolled it around in her mouth. "Effulgent... It's... so... I don't know.. It..." She looked down. "Don't make fun of me."  
  
He grinned. "If you won't make fun of me for starting this conversation."  
  
"I'm not.. good, and smart, with... ya know.. big words.But... When you said it... I thought of a sunrise. Bright. It's so descriptive. I wish I could-"  
  
Spike grinned so big, it looked like his face would split in half. "Slayer, you have just made me about as happy as I have ever been. And now I can't find the right word." He looked at her, almost shyly. "Would you... would you like to see something? Something I wrote?"  
  
She smiled. "Yes."  
  
He scrambled up, looking rather like a young boy headed for presents on his birthday. He trotted over and pushed the lid off of one of the sarcophogus' that was laying around, and pulled out a leather bound book. It looked at least as old as... well... Spike.  
  
"Here they are," he said. "Personally, I think I've gotten much better lately." He opened the book to a page, that appeared to have tear stains on it. "I wrote this after... after you came back..." She gingerly accepted the old book, and began to read...  
  
Someday  
  
My love has followed me back home To my lonely room and bed, For many a long year I've roamed, Longing that my heart be fed.  
  
When I saw you standing there, Lost within your mind, I knew that never had I seen, Nor could I hope to find, A love more wonderful than yours, Though I know that you aren't mine.  
  
And through those lonely days and months, I could hardly even bear, I would have killed myself, 'Cept for the Lil' Bit who cared, We comforted eachother, Stopping each other's tears, Always hoping to turn around, And see you standing there.  
  
Now you're finally home to stay, You'll never leave again, I pray, Still I wait and hope you'll say, "I love you, Spike", Someday, someday.  
  
--William (aka Spike)  
  
Reading over it, she pulled in a deep breath now and again. And at the end, she lost control, and let a few of her own tears stain the page, mingle with his.  
  
Spike was wringing his hands nervously. "Do you.. did you like it?"  
  
She raised her eyes to his. Her bottom lip trembled, and she forced it to stop. "It's beautiful." She frowned. "How dare they not appreciate you! I mean... I don't... I don't know a lot... But this... it's beautiful, and good."  
  
Spike felt like jumping in the air, turning a summersault, something, anything to let his emotions show. He was trembling with excitement. "I told you that I've gotten better."  
  
She snorted derisively. "Show them bloody awful... give them one of MY journals."  
  
Spike started laughing again, and he flopped on the couch next to her. "I'm sure, whatever you write, is as good as my crap."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Angel, is an angel," she started, melodramatically. This caused Spike to laugh even harder, rolling onto his back, nearly falling off the couch.  
  
She swatted at him self-righteously. "Knock it off!"  
  
He gave her a playfully evil look. "I've got a better idea, why don't you join me!" He jumped to his feet and pounced her. Almost immediatly, he began tickling the Slayer's ribs.  
  
She prepared to wince in pain, but his fingers were too gentle for that. With a squeal, she started giggling, squirming. As she squirmed, her shirt rode up, revealing the purple angry bruises.  
  
Spike stopped instantly. "God, luv. Why didn't you tell me it was that bad." He sat back and smacked himself on the forehead. "And I never gave you the damn pills."  
  
She looked down, instantly shamed. "It's... it's not as bad as it looks..." She tucked stray peices of hair behind her ear. "It was just... an... an accident..."  
  
"Accident or not, I should have given you the pills." He glanced around. "Now, where did the bloody bottle get to?" He turned around, searching through the couch cushions. His butt was sticking up in the air, and he practicly had his head in between the cushions. "Where did it go!?"  
  
She giggled, pleased to the Powers he had never asked the specifics of her 'accident'. "Do you have water?"  
  
Spike turned, so that he was looking at her, upside down. "Huh? Oh, yeah. There's bottled water in the fridge.. And some other stuff. If you see something you want, help yourself."  
  
She nodded, winced as she stood, and made her way to the fridge. Peeking inside, she grinned. Grabbing a water, and an apple, she said, "Want anything?"  
  
Still upside down, but now because he was laying on the couch, holding the errant bottle. "Uh, are there any of the spicy hot wings left? They were in a big bucket."  
  
Swinging the door open, she pulled the bucket out. "Cold??"  
  
"Hell no. There's a microwave over by the cabinet. And see if there's any ranch sauce." He was struggleing with the bottle cap. "Damn "child-proof" thing."  
  
Tossing the whole bucket in the microwave, and pushing a few buttons with vast hope, she walked to the couch, took the bottle out of his fumbling hands. God, he was so cute. So frustrated looking. She twisted simply, with the ease of experience, and handed the bottle back to him and returned to the "kitchen" to root through the fridge for the ranch sauce. "I assume by sauce, you mean dressing?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, something like that." He watched her retrive the sauce and walk back toward him. Unexpectedly, he yawned, vamping out for an instant, a reflex that not all vampires had. Spike, unfortunately, didn't even realize he'd done it.  
  
She grinned, holding the 'sauce' like a trophy, and went to hand it to him. His vamped features jolted her for a moment.  
  
Spike noticed her simi-shocked look, realized what had happened, then quickly shook his head, returning to normal. "Sorry, 'bout that, luv," he muttered, ashamed.  
  
She calmed her heart beat, knowing he could read it easily as a book. She grinned, shook her head. "S'ok. Don't ever check in on me when I'm cramping. I assume that's what I look like. I mean.. that's how I act. Uber- quick change to Bitchy-Buffy!" She knew she was chattering. Worse. She was babbling. God bless the microwave for beeping. She turned to retrieve his wings.  
  
Spike grinned. "I doubt that it's quite that bad, luv."  
  
She returned with his bucket o' wings, and snorted. "Ha. Try me." She flopped on the couch beside him. "So... Are we gonna share the pain pills with Buffy??" He dumped a few of the pills out into his palm. "This enough?"  
  
She squinted. "Onnnnne more."  
  
He grinned, and dumped another pill into his hand. "How about now?", he asked, handing her the pills.  
  
She grinned, tossed the pills back, and took a few swallows of water. "So..." She snagged one of his buffalo wings and dipped it in ranch. "What's up with this Passions show?"  
  
  
  
TBC.....  
  
Ok, folks! This is Tequila Sunrise! How are you? How do you think we're doing? LET US KNOW! We have about... 24 parts now, but we're just putting them up two a day till we get caught up. We really hope you guys are liking this. It's our baby. Read our other stuff, too!!! lol shameless plugging... *sigh* I have no shame. Sorry.  
  
Always. Tequila Sunrise 


	4. Mr. Gordo, Rhino, and Rules.

Author's notes: No special stuff now. If you haven't already figured out that these characters do not belong to us, then seek help. The next two chapters were written in a all night ICIM conversation between Sunrise and myself. We were writing from 11 something untill after 6 am. All of the weird and funny stuff (more in the next chap than this one) is to be blamed on our sleep deprived brains. Here's chapter four.  
  
I've been trying to get down To the heart of the matter But my flesh is so weak And the ashes all scatter But I think it's about Forgivness, forgivness Even if, even if You don't love me anymore  
  
That night, Buffy sat in front of her vanity, running a brush through her shortened locks. She stared blankly at the mirror, hearing her own words echo through her head.  
  
"No lies, Spike."  
  
"No lies," she muttered to herself. She hadn't known what to expect when she had gone to his crypt. Certainly not the horridly candid breakdowns they'd both had. So, she lied. She had lied to Spike before.  
  
But why? Buffy snorted at herself. 'Because telling him you got your ass kicked by a group of demons at Willie's when you were asking if anyone had heard from him is embarassing.'  
  
She focused on her face in the mirror. That wasn't it. She had been embarassed in front of Spike before. No big. And Mirror Buffy knew. She smacked her brush down on her vanity. "So what? I lied! He's lied to me!"  
  
She refused to pace. That would mean she was worried, or felt guilty. Why was it so hard to tell him, "I got my ass kicked looking for you?" It was the whole 'looking for him' part that was so hard to get out. Would mean admitting... Well, things she didn't want to admit.  
  
Changing quickly into pajamas and sliding into bed, Buffy paused with her hand on the lamp. It wasn't a lie if he didn't follow up on it. She gave a half-hearted grin. Chip and soul equals no killing of people who didn't really hurt Buffy. She clicked the light off. It wasn't a lie if he didn't ask.  
  
**********************************************  
  
  
  
Spike had been sitting in the tree outside Buffy's window since right after he saw her light go off. He kept thinking about their conversations/emotional breakdowns earlier that evening. She had really been nice to him, he fingered the guardian angel charm that was now attached to his chain. Took a deep, unnessisary breath, and tapped on the window...  
  
Buffy snorted oh-so-ladylike, and tossed a bit more in her sleep, deep and restless.  
  
Spike tapped again, and, when that didn't elicit a response, he turned to leave. Then the light went on...  
  
She turned to face the window, her face not quite alert, but lucid. "Hello?"  
  
Spike turned around, and gave a half wave, as if to say, "You don't have to let me in, I'll leave."  
  
She shook her head vehemently. Waved him in. She smiled, happy to see him, but panicing, remembering her actions. She cracked open her window, ushering him in.  
  
"Thanks, luv," Spike said with a minor shiver. "It was getting a bit cold out." He crawled over the windowsill and found himself right next to her bed.  
  
She could feel the air getting in, nodded in agreement, and closed it. Sat at her vanity. "What's up?"  
  
He tried to be nonchlant. "Well, not much, really. I was just over at Willys.." He trailed off, hoping that she would get the hint, that he was on to her.  
  
She arched her brows, politely interested. "Cool. Beat anyone at pool?" She prayed silently, [i]Please no.... no no no no no..[/i] She picked up the brush she had thrown down earlier that night, and began to brush her hair out again.  
  
"Yeah, I heard a few things that were interesting." He picked up Mr. Gordo and sat down on the bed, still holding the pig. "Seems that barfight you got into earlier was at Willys."  
  
She stared intently at her hero, Mr. Gordo. "Oh?" She lowered the brush, set it back on the vanity.  
  
Spike stroked the pig gently, absently. "Yeah, and a certain source tells me that you were looking for someone... Namely, me."  
  
She bit her bottom lip gently, still knowing Mr. Gordo had all the answers. "Certain source, huh?"  
  
"Yeah." He leaned forward, handing Mr. Gordo to the Slayer. "Sheesh, calm down, luv. I'm not mad at you."  
  
She unconsciously cuddled the pig to her stomach. Looked at him through her lashes. "I just- Oh. Well... Ok?"  
  
He leaned back on an elbow, across the foot of her bed. "I'm just a bit curious as to what made you want to see me so bad that you started a fight with three Tralfgor demons."  
  
She stared at him fiercely. "Did. Not. Start. Finished, debatable. I just..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
'Wanted to check on you' floated through her mind and was dismissed. "Was looking."  
  
"For?"  
  
Now she stroked Mr. Gordo. "You."  
  
He grinned. "But that still doesn't answer my question. Why were you looking for me?" He was at least going to get an, "I was concerned about you" out of her. If not an, "I wanted to tell you that I love you." That was too much to hope for.  
  
Buffy turned in her seat slightly to look in the mirror. Mirror Buffy was demanding penance. Spike had bared his... well, soul. "I wanted to... to check on you."  
  
"Checking" was good. "Well thanks, luv. But I was fine. Why didn't you just come right to the crypt? You ended up there anyway." He dropped his gaze. "Unless... unless you were afraid of what I'd do... again..." Tears were threatening to fall. He'd promised himself never to think about what had almost happened, and yet... Here it was again.  
  
Buffy wanted to pull her jammas tighter. "I just... I knew you were gone... I didn't know if you'd.. tell me if you got back... I didn't want Xander to find you first." She passed back Mr. Gordo.  
  
Spike actually hugged the pig, rolling over on his back. "Sorry. I just... I had something that I had to do. I.. went to see someone. An old... friend."  
  
She nodded. "I didn't know what I'd do if I saw you right off... I just wanted to know... and the demons.. well, they don't like me."  
  
"At the risk of sounding like a certain Key, duh," Spike chuckled as he said this. But he still clutched the pig.  
  
Buffy snorted a small laugh.  
  
Spike smiled at her, and yawned, again vamping out for an instant. "Bugger. I hate it when this happens."  
  
Buffy just shrugged. "Better than vamping out on someone the first time you kiss 'em." She looked at him. "Spike?"  
  
He looked at her, upside-down, and shook off the vampire visage. "Uh, I didn't do that, did I?"  
  
She shook her head. "Nopers. Mark that one off to an Angel. We're... ok, right?"  
  
He grinned. "I'm okay if you're okay." He glanced at the window. "I'd better be going. Need time to get back to the crypt and all that..." He was shocked at Buffy's interuption.  
  
"Do you want to... sleep here?"  
  
"Isn't Rupert on the couch?", he said, thinking that he'd missunderstood her.  
  
She wanted to duck her head, but made herself keep her eyes on his. Maybe they had grown up a little bit in the past months. "Yeah. You can stay up here... With me."  
  
He swallowed. Blinked, swallowed again. "On the... floor?"  
  
She frowned. "You're not a dog, Spike."  
  
"Arf?"  
  
This time Buffy did downcast her eyes. "I just meant... We wouldn't... But if you wanted to... But only on the condition that I get Mr. Gordo."  
  
Spike laughed. "You can have 'im, luv." He glanced around. "Me, I've always liked this stuffed horse.."  
  
Smiling, she grabbed Mr. Gordo, and snuggled under the covers,  
  
Spike removed his shoes, and crawled in after her, then turned off the light. Within a few moments, they were both asleep. Slayer and vampire, snuggled close together, in the same bed. Spike's last concious thought was, [i]I'm sure glad she has thick blinds...[/i]  
  
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=  
  
Buffy woke up slowly, Mr. Gordo squashed between her and... Spike. She cracked open her eyes to assess the situation. She was curled toward him, and his hand was resting on her hip. She glanced up at his face, he was still asleep. Last night had been hard. Nervewracking. And he had stayed by her. She smiled softly, for the first time not regretting waking next to him.  
  
Spike twitched in his sleep, muscles jumping as his body struggled with some unseen force within his mind. He was obviously having a nightmare.  
  
Her smile faded, and she reached a hand toward his face, resting her hand on his cheek, murmuring comfortingly.  
  
Spike twitched again. He could smell her, she was close, but that wasn't possible, was it? He was a monster, he had let her die. Everything had been a dream... He suddenly started awake, sitting bolt upright in the bed, letting out a sound that was a cross between a yelp and a whimper. "What! Where?.." He glanced around, getting his bearings. Then he saw her. "Buffy?"  
  
She was staring at him, caring in her eyes. She ran a hand over his tousled curls. "Hey." Her hand traveled lower, she scooted closer, rubbing circles on his back.  
  
He leaned into her touch. "Sorry, luv. I guess I... Had a bad dream, that's all." He pulled away, even though he didn't want to, and layed back down. "Bloody, sodding nightmares. Stupid soul..", he muttered.  
  
She frowned, laid down next to him, her head on his shoulder. "What happened?"  
  
"Aww, it's always the same. It's like an instant replay of everyone I've killed.." He glanced at her. "Every time I've failed. And it always ends in the same damn place..." He slipped an arm around her. "Two things at once... What I di.. Almost did to you.." He closed his eyes. "And when you jumped.." The last part was said in a quiet whisper.  
  
Buffy internally flinched at the memory in her bathroom. She leaned her head against Spike's, whispered, "You're not to blame for that. I would jump.... every day for the rest of my life if I had to."  
  
"Somehow, that doesn't help much," he responded. "It still leaves me in a world with out you. It's like a world without... sunshine. And, believe me, that isn't a nice way to live."  
  
She rocked slightly to the left, then right. "I'm back. And it wasn't ideal... and it wasn't easy. But I... I like who we are now, Spike. I think I've taken my life back. I gave myself sunshine." She said contemplatively, "I'm... Happy with life, most times. I... Enjoy the people I love."  
  
He looked at her, gently stroking her hair. "You like who we are, eh?" He raised an eyebrow in a playful manner. "Are you saying you like me?" He delibrately avoided the big "L" word. Now was not the time.  
  
Buffy swallowed. She had spent a lot of time contemplating that question since he had left. "I've always enjoyed you. But yeah..." She shoved a gentle elbow to his side. "I think I like you." She grinned impishly at him.  
  
Spike let out a snort of laughter at the unexpected poke to his ribs. "Enjoyed me? And you admit that you like me? Now, how does one go about organizing a parade?"  
  
She grinned, and rolled her eyes. "Bite me ."  
  
"I am a little hungry."  
  
She arched a brow at him. "... I can't smell the pancakes cooking yet, so we can still sleep in." Her eyes widened. "Oh. I can get you blood."  
  
He smiled at her honest attempt. "No thanks, luv. I was joking. I'm much too comfortable to get up now."  
  
"I'm not." She plopped back onto the bed, sprawled out. "Now I am." She tossed him a baleful look. "Mr. Gordo says you're a blanket hog." She jerked them toward herself, and snuggled down into them.  
  
"Fine choice of words, for a pig." He picked up the stuffed animal. "What else have you been saying about me, Pinky?"  
  
With an indignant gasp, she reached up for her pig. "Don't SAY mean things like that!"  
  
She reached for the pig, but Spike delibrately held it up out of her reach. He wanted to see what she would do to get it back. Little did he know that he'd given something away by laughing when she'd poked him earlier...  
  
Buffy glared at him. "I knew you were evil. Steal a girl's pig? Doesn't that rate up there with babies and candy?"  
  
He held it up, playfully taunting her with it. "Come on, Slayer. Get it back." He was holding it up in the air, lying on his back. Buffy was beginning to see an oppertunity.  
  
She smiled slyly. "Well, I'm evil, too. Just so ya know." She pounced him quickly, running her fingers over his ribs. "Gimme the pig, boy." She tickled mercilessly.  
  
Spike dropped the pig almost immediatly, convulsing in a fit of helpless laughter. "Luv! Ahh!! Stop it!"  
  
She swiped the pig behind her, but kept up her attack. "Apologize for treating Mr. Gordo with less respect than you do a poker kitten."  
  
"I'm sorry! I appologize for everything I've ever done to anyone!", he yelped, continuing to squirm. "I love Mr. Gordo! Just please stop!!"  
  
She paused for half a second to consider. And kept tickling. "And for being a blanket hog?"  
  
"YES!! I'm a horrible person... And I'll never hog blankets, or anything ever again." She was torturing him, going full on ribs and stomach now.  
  
Dawn chose that moment to storm into Buffy's room. "It is 9:30 am, Saturday morning. WHY ARE YOU MAKING NOISE!?!?" The Key stood in the doorway, radiating irritation. Her eyes flashed and her hair was slightly tousled. Her Hello Kitty pajamas were askew, and her hands were fisted on her hips.  
  
Spike looked up, desparation in his blue eyes. For even the appearance of her sister hadn't been enough to deter the Slayer from her current goal: to tickle Spike to death. "Lil' Bit! HELP!!"  
  
Her sleep glazed eyes suddenly snapped from psychotic teenager mode. "Cool! Ticklefest!" Before coming in the door, she said firmly, "I want an explanation later."  
  
"Oh, nonononono.." Spike blabbered, trying to grab Buffy's hands, but missing by a mile. His usually impecable aim thrown off by his body's squirming reflex.  
  
Tossing her sister a grin, Dawn dove onto the pile of twisted sheets and blankets. "So... who to help?"  
  
"Mememememe!!!", Spike howled, thrashing around desparately.  
  
She threw back her head and laughed. "That was just sad." She poked at Buffy's hips, a secret spot she only knew from years of defending herself from tickle-torture. Buffy sputtered a laugh, still tickling Spike, and bunching up one side away from Dawn's questing hands. Spike managed to gain control of one hand long enough to latch onto Buffy's other side.  
  
Buffy caved to the bed, trying to pull her knees to her chest. "OH! Not fair! Not fair! No double teams!"  
  
For a moment, it looked like Spike and Dawn had the upper hand, but they had forgotten one crusial thing: Buffy had Slayer strength and speed, even when being tickled. She poked both Dawn and Spike in the ribs, and while they squirmed, sped off the bed. She tossed her hair back, trying to look authoratative in her pj's. "Now. That's enough."  
  
Spike rolled onto his back, his chest heaving with deep, unnessisary breaths. After a couple of post hysterical laughter hic-ups, that apparently even affected the undead, he looked at Buffy, upside down. "Don't you ever do that again, luv."  
  
She glanced at him self-righteously. "Don't take the pig. I protect it like Dawn."  
  
Dawn glanced at him with huge eyes. "You [i]*stole*[/i] Mr. Gordo??"  
  
"I picked him up and held him up in the air. He didn't even leave the room. That's not stealing," he said defensivly, with a glare at Buffy. "And it doesn't warrent exploiting a person's worst weakness, either."  
  
Buffy and Dawn nodded in unison. "It SOOO does," the teen clarified. "I'd shed blood for Rhino the rhino."  
  
"You named your rhino, "Rhino"?", Spike asked. Upon seeing the looks on the sister's faces, he quickly backpedaled, rather than start another ticklefight. "Not that there's anything wrong with that. Perfectly normal."  
  
Dawn nodded firmly. "It is. Rhino is the perfect man." She squished her face up. "Ya know, considering."  
  
"Considering that he's a rhino? Or stuffed?", Spike asked, rolling onto his stomach. The better to defend from any further attacks.  
  
Buffy considered it safe to sit on the bed again. Dawn fielded the question. "M... both. So. Explain. Because... like.. I so will not have freaky sexscapades going on under this roof."  
  
Spike's jaw dropped for an instant. "Lil' Bit!"  
  
She arched a brow at him. "Don't Li'l Bit me. We had a big girl talk Spike. I can take it." She rolled her eyes at him. "Cuz like... I've never HEARD of sex, or... anything."  
  
"You shouldn't for at least five more years," he muttered.  
  
She patted his tousled hair. "How cute. You don't think I've.." Dawn's eyes popped, and she snapped her jaw shut. "You're stalling."  
  
"Am not. I'm just waitin' for the Slayer to explain." He cocked his head to the side. "Well, luv? Want to tell your sis why I'm sleeping in your room? I'm kind of ancious to know why you didn't kick me out myself."  
  
Buffy shot him a hasty glare. "First off. No I don't think you've... well, if you have, the boy will be eating something of his own on a bun with mustard." She nodded emphatically. "And.. secondly.. Spike came over late last night... and we.. discussed some things."  
  
Spike let out a chuckle at the hot dog comment.  
  
"And... They were things we needed to talk about. And when we were done... It was... ya know.. about sunrise. So I told him he could stay here. Because we trust him."  
  
"You do?", Spike asked incredulusly.  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't know anymore. You can't trust a pig stealing blanket hog."  
  
Dawn hugged Spike shyly. "I trust a pig stealing blanket hog."  
  
If it had been possible, Spike would have blushed.  
  
Spike blinked a few times in rapid succession, trying not to make it too obvious that he was fighting back tears of happiness. "I'm not all bad, you know. And I think you got your revenge for the pig stealing, and the blanket hogging. No one's ever done that to me before."  
  
Buffy smiled. "No, you're not all bad." She looked at him speculatively. "I don't think you ever have been."  
  
"Yeah, I have!", Spike said vemently. Then he paused, turned thoughtful. "No, you're right."  
  
Dawn detangled herself from Spike. "If I go to my room, wait ten minutes, THEN will it be ok to wake Giles up and beg for breakfast?"  
  
Buffy smiled at Spike and Dawn. "Just go back to sleep, Dawn. At eleven we'll wake Giles up and beg."  
  
"I do a real good impression of a wimpering puppy," Spike joked. "I could probably talk him out of some scraps."  
  
Buffy laughed. "I think we'll let you eat at the table today boy."  
  
"Oh, goody."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes at them. "You are... too wierd for words." She yawned hugely. Looked surprised at herself for it. "I am so crashing."  
  
"Night, Niblet," Spike said, then corrected himself. "Or is that mornin'?"  
  
She shrugged. "S'long as it means sleep." With that, she shut the door behind her.  
  
Spike rolled over again, so that his head was right next to Buffy's leg as she sat on the bed. "Now what?"  
  
She regarded him seriously. "Now I get to ask why."  
  
"Why? Why what?" He looked annoyed at himself. "That was not a sentence. That was a disaster of questions."  
  
"Why did you ask after me at Willie's?"  
  
"Oh, that's easy. Cause I was worried about you. You said that you'd been in a barfight. When I found out that there hadn't been one at the Bronze, that was the next place I checked."  
  
Her brow furrowed. "And why did you inquire into one at the bronze?"  
  
"Because when the words "Buffy" and "bar" are in the same sentence, that's usually what it means." He raised an eyebrow. "Are you leading up to something luv?"  
  
She said accusingly, "You thought I was lying!!"  
  
He just looked at her. "I knew you were hurt. I wanted to find out how. You said barfight, and I believed you. By the way, you were lying." His eyes were boring holes in her. "You said that your opponent was [i]a[/i] human. Instead of [i]three[/i] Tralfgor demons."  
  
She dropped her eyes momentarily, for a moment forgetting that was indeed the case. She was suddenly flustered. "B-Well. I. Well, I killed them, anyway."  
  
"That doesn't matter to me, luv." He sighed, turned over so that his back was to her. "I'm trying so hard to get you to trust me. I've done everything I possibly could, and then some. I want to be able to trust you, too."  
  
She dropped her head, wanting so badly to place a hand on the back presented to her. "I didn't kill the third one. I just... didn't want you after it. I had this all reasoned out in my head last night. It wasn't a lie if you didn't find out."  
  
Another sigh. "I am the king of reasoned excuses, luv. But it's only a matter of time before you've used so many excuses that you forget why you're even trying. All I want is for you to be safe. It's taken me six years, your death and ressurection, and the return of my soul to figure that out. Please don't let it take you that long. It will eat you alive. Believe me, I know."  
  
She placed her hand on his back gently. " I already have figured it out. It took a left behind duster for me. A duster that smelled like blood, and cigarettes, and... Spike."  
  
He turned back over, looked at her. "My duster? How did it help you do anything?" He was obviously confused. Or maybe he just wanted to hear her say it.  
  
She nodded slowly. "It... was part of who I lost. I'm... new at no excuses, Spike. I'm... a little scared. they're not gonna disappear overnight."  
  
"I understand that, luv," he said, gently placing a hand on her knee. "I'm not asking that they do. Just that we *both* try." He grinned. "But if this morning has been any indication, I'm definitely liking where we're headed."  
  
She looked at his hand on her knee, and bit her lip. Spike always read her eyes too easily, and she didn't want to know how well they could handle desire yet.Thinking her eyes were under her own control again, she looked up, smiled brightly. "I like where we're headed, too."  
  
Sensing her change in mood, Spike quickly removed his hand and rolled back over. "Sorry."  
  
The fake smile fled quickly. "Stop doing that." It came out sharper than she had intended.  
  
Spike flinched. "Stop doing what?"  
  
She sighed, frustrated. "Don't... turn your back on me as soon as things get a little harder to deal with! I can't... It feels like... horrible! Like you're ashamed."  
  
He rolled back over quickly. "No! Luv, I'm not ashamed. I love you. I just,.. I don't like you seeing me.. when I, when I feel like crying." He snorted disersivly. "Bloody Poofter, that's what I am. Same as Peaches."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "You and Angel shouldn't be in the same universe. You don't have to cry.. but.. it's ok if you want to."  
  
"That's just it, I don't want to. It just happens," he muttered, swiping at his eyes. "Bloody annoying, that's what it is. Soddin' soul."  
  
She smiled affectionately. "It'll take a bit, but you'll get over the tears thing." She said archly, "Pretty soon you'll just be brooding."  
  
"No!", he said with a fake yelp. "Not that, anything but that. Slayer, please save me from the terrible "Brood"!"  
  
Laughing, she play-punched him in the arm. "You are too mean to Angel."  
  
He chuckled. "Aw, come on, luv. Tell me how you really feel."  
  
The smile slipped from her face, and she reached a hand toward his face, then pulled it back slightly.  
  
Slightly confused, he looked up at her. "What's wrong, luv? Was it something I said?"  
  
She shook her head slightly. She reached out again with her hand, barely brushing his cheek with her fingers. "I just... I don't know the rules anymore. I don't know if I can touch you, or how much, or-"  
  
He gently took her hand, guided it to his cheek. "It's always been my experience, that when you don't know the rules, it's time to make up a new set." He leaned his head into her hand. "You can touch me whenever you want to, luv. I trust you. Anything from a tickle to a hug." He made a face. "Well, I'll have to think about the tickling thing."  
  
She smiled softly, ran her hand over his cheek, traced his lips, then moved up to his forehead, and down to his other cheek, down his nose. "I was. Scared that night. But I've missed you." She let a finger linger at the corner of his mouth, then pulled her hand back.  
  
She took a deep breath. "I trust you... on all counts but the pig. You can touch me." She added uncertainly, "If you want to."  
  
His eyes lit up, and he carefully reached a hand toward her face. He repeated the gesture that she had made with him. "I missed you, too. Thought about you all the time. I love you... so much." A single tear blazed a trail down his cheek. "Things always were so easy with the others. Dru, and Harmony. With Dru, after you learned to read her moods, it was easy. Unless she wanted something and I couldn't get it. That was always bad. With Harm... Well, let's just say that you wouldn't want to play "Twenty Questions" with the girl." He snorted. "I should know. I did."  
  
She smiled. "I dont' recommend it with Dawn either." Her hands twisted restlessly in her lap. "What are... um... other rules?"  
  
"I don't know," he said, laying back down. "That was mine. Now it's your turn."  
  
She shook her head. "It was... so selfish last time... this time we need to- " She was frustrated at her lack of eloquence. "I want this to be about both of us."  
  
"Ok." He thought for a moment. "How about you knock before entering my crypt?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "You don't take stuff of mine anymore? Or spy in trees?"  
  
"Yeah, deal. Only I wasn't spying."  
  
She arched her brow. "Because that's the first time you've ever been up that tree?"  
  
He grinned sheepishly. "Well, no. But I don't like the term 'spying'. Makes me sound like James Bond. I prefer 'selective observation'."  
  
She smiled, then moved on. "Your turn."  
  
"You sure? Mine next one's a big one."  
  
She bit her bottom lip, and nodded.  
  
"We tell your pals from the get go. I never liked all that sneaking around. And I have another one."  
  
She frowned, missing her turn, but nodded patiently.  
  
"I get to be an official member of the Scooby Gang. Meaning Harris has to sod off and leave me alone." He grinned. "Now you can have two."  
  
"I want-don't want us to-" She shrugged. "Ya know."  
  
He nodded sagely. "Is there a time limit on this one? Or is it a forever thing? Because I'm fine either way."  
  
She almost melted from relief, but said, "Till we're ready. Till it won't hurt us."  
  
"You got it. My next one's just a suggestion, not a rule, ok?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"After a long, hard patrol, your muscles have got to hurt, right?"  
  
She gave a small shrug and nod.  
  
"How about I give you a massage? Only when you ask, of course. And I don't even ask for anything in return. No catch."  
  
She took a deep breath. "Ok... Can I return the favor, if I ever, ya know, want to?"  
  
He had not been expecting that. "Uh, yeah. Sure, I guess." He raised an eyebrow. "But you've got to promise something."  
  
"All right... But I'm still a rule behind."  
  
He poked her ribs gently. "No tickling. That's all I ask. Now you can catch up."  
  
She squirmed gently. "Ok. Buy a blue shirt." She paused. "Please."  
  
"Are you serious? 'Buy a blue shirt'? That's a rule?"  
  
She grinned. "Blue shirt.Darker blue. But not... Confuse-able with black blue."  
  
He chuckled. "Ok, but may I ask why?"  
  
She shrugged. "Want to see if it'll make your eyes even more pretty."  
  
She could have sworn he blushed. "I have pretty eyes?"  
  
She smiled. "Way pretty. One more rule. But it's kinda yours."  
  
"Ok, shoot." He quickly amended. "Not literally, just in case you've got a crossbow in your pajamas."  
  
She snorted derisively at him. "Please. It's under my mattress." Seriously she added, "What are... kissing rules?"  
  
"Whoa, luv. That one's yours to make up. I don't want to say anything that might make you use that crossbow."  
  
She shook her head again. "No, Spike. I want to.. respect any boundaries you set this time around."  
  
He swallowed, considering. "Alright. Uh, let's start slow, agreed?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"How about... no tongues. Untill we feel we're ready. And then only if you want to, that is."  
  
She nodded hastily, knowing she hadn't gone that in-depth about kissing since 6th grade health class.  
  
"And I have a little question. Can we kiss in front of your friends?"  
  
"If we feel comfortable doing it. We're not putting on a show, or out to prove anything." She shook her head. "Scratch that." "If *you* feel comfortable doing it."  
  
His eyes welled for an instant, but Buffy had been right, and he was getting better at controling it. "Really?" There was no way that she'd noticed that, he thought.  
  
She took a deep breath, and nodded. Pretended to ignore his almost-tears.  
  
"Then I have one more question, and understand that you don't have to answer it, if you don't want to."  
  
"All right."  
  
He swallowed. "Do you... How do you feel? About me, I mean." That was close, he'd almost said 'Do you love me?'. This was not the time, unless she said it.  
  
She almost opted for no answer. But that wasn't fair. And not trusting at all. "I... care about you. What you think, and feel, and say. I care what happens to you, and with you. I like being with you. I think... that I like you. A lot." Her head snapped up. "One more rule?"  
  
"Your turn." Well, she'd practicly said it. Good enough for now.  
  
She should have given him more time to absorb her words, but it made her uncomfortable, the silence. "No more sleepovers unless we're in the living room. I have to look out for Dawn. Ya know, example."  
  
He frowned slightly, but nodded. "Alright, luv. Your house, your rules. But you know I love her, too."  
  
Her eyes grew wide. "I don't think you'd hurt her, Spike." She unthinkingly laid a hand on his cheek. "I haven't thought that for a long time." She grinned ruefully. "I just don't wanna walk in her room one day, her have a boy in her sheets, and say, 'Well, you and Spike'..."  
  
He laughed. "If that did happen, the boy wouldn't leave the house alive."  
  
She nodded. "Couldn't let that happen..."  
  
"Heaven forbid."  
  
She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
He layed on his back and spread his arms wide. "You're lookin' at an open book, luv. What's on your mind?"  
  
"I know... You still love me. But... after everything... Do you still-still want me?"  
  
His eyes opened wide. He didn't know what he had been expecting, but that hadn't been it. "Luv,... Buffy. Of course I do. You're... my everything. I will never not want you."  
  
She felt sheepish and stupid. "Oh."  
  
He smiled up at her. "What were you expecting?" He squirmed around a little, using a lump in the sheets to scratch an annoying, unreachable itch. "Bloody mosquitos."  
  
She shrugged. "I dunno. Want me to itch?"  
  
"Huh?" he said, slightly confused by her phrasing.  
  
"Want me to scratch your back?"  
  
"Really? You do know what that does to vampires, right luv? We're like cats, in some ways. Liking being touched is one of them." He grinned, rolling onto his stomach. "If you still want to, though..."  
  
She smiled at his silliness, and pulled up the back of shirt to scratch at his back. She stopped short, and she ran her hands over the scars. "Oh my God. Spike, what did you do??"  
  
"Huh? Oh, those." He looked over his shoulder. "Well, some of them are old, most of those are from having a church dropped on my back. And the new ones are from the trials that I had to go through to earn this soddin' soul."  
  
She frowned, and attempted to dismiss them as easily as he did. She scratched gently by the mosquito bite.  
  
Spike layed his head on his hands, and a low rumble began to echo from his chest. He was purring.  
  
She smiled, slightly puzzled. Attempted not to laugh, and scratched a tiny bit harder. In response to the scratching, the purr increased in volume, untill Spike was practicly vibrating. Apparently, he hadn't been kidding about the cat thing.  
  
Buffy finally had enough and quit, rocking with silent laughter. She pulled his shirt back down, and patted his back. She was also, very diligently, not thinking about what his purring had triggered in her.  
  
It took a moment for the purr to completely stop. After it did, Spike rolled slightly over, looking at the Slayer. "Why'd you stop, luv? That was bloody wonderful."  
  
She shrugged. "I didn't wanna hurt your skin." She finally laid back down beside him.  
  
"Don't worry, luv," he said with a playful flexing of his bicep. "I'm tough. Remember?"  
  
She laughed quietly. "Do we have any more rules?"  
  
He thought for a moment. "Well, I don't think I have anymore. Do you?"  
  
She shook her head negatively. "Rule list is complete."  
  
He yawned. "That's good." He snuggled down beside her, tentitivly putting an arm around her.  
  
She rolled on her side, ignoring the fast-fading twinge of pain. "Spike...?"  
  
"Yeah, luv?"  
  
"We kinda trust eachother right?"  
  
He chuckled. "You could say that."  
  
She was suddenly unsure again, reaching out a tentative hand to his shoulder, then softly at his cheek. She took a deep breath, whispered quietly, "May I kiss you?"  
  
He smiled. "Anytime you want, luv. I'm all yours."  
  
She licked her lips nervously, then leaned across to him, and brushed her lips gently across his. It was a tender kiss, so unlike the ones before, heated with passion and fire. But this one had something more important, trust, and hope. They pulled apart, resting their foreheads against eachother. Finally, Spike spoke up. "Are you sure about the no sleepover thing? Cause I kind of like the way this one went."  
  
She smiled. "Me, too. But I'm sure. Spike?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I know that... You want me to say... stuff. And I've said some stuff... But I can't say the stuff you really want me to right now. It's just-"  
  
"Too much stuff?"  
  
"Well, I know I can't say all the stuff you want to hear... But, I want you to know...I respect you."  
  
He smiled. "I respect you, too, Buffy. More than anyone I've ever known."  
  
She smiled softly. "Come on. I think it's time to go beg for some pancakes."  
  
TBC...  
  
Laaaaaa!!!! More tomorrow!!! lol So... anyone been watching the repeats... Yeah... Gone is such a yummy episode. Spike gets his clothes ripped off. *sigh* Let me tell ya... to be PAID to do stuff like that... *sighs again* Anyway! Drop us a line!  
  
Always. Tequila Sunrise 


	5. Mr. Gordo's Revenge, and the Tiny Marshm...

Author's notes: This is the second part of the night long ICIM conversation that Sunrise and I had. It has a few parts that are quite silly, and cute, I think. Blame those on us for writing this between four and six am.  
  
I've been trying to get down To the heart of the matter But the flesh is so weak And the ashes all scatter But I think it's about Forgiveness, forgivness Even if, even if You don't love me anymore  
  
Buffy stood at Spike's crypt. It took her a minute to remove her hand from the doorknob. She knocked. And knocked again. The fact that it was two, the time Passions was on, AND it was nice and bright out made her worry. Wincing at breaking her promise, although, technically, her mind said, she HAD knocked, she pushed the door open to his crypt. A quick perusal of the upstairs gave her nothing, so she crept down the ladder, saying softly, "Spike?"  
  
She let her eyes adjust to the darkness, not relishing opening them to the gloom of her 'firey egg surprise'. She stood, highly impressed. It was cleaned, mostly, and over 75% of it was redecorated. Slate grey's, bold burgundy pillows, and a navy couch added to the decor. His ratty green chair was still there, she noted with an eyeroll, and her eyes lit on the bed.  
  
The head and baseboards of the bed were stainless steel, and there was a slightly naked Spike under a new blue comforter with red satin sheets. On a hanger, hooked on the baseboard of the bed was a new blue shirt.  
  
She watched him sleep, glad she had this unguarded moment with him. She curled up on the couch to watch him. He would toss, every once in a while, utter a British profanity. His nose twitched twice, and a slow smile curved his lips. Buffy silently groaned. *That* was the killer grin. She also smiled at the incredibly curly dissarray of his hair.  
  
Spike was in a deep sleep, having a really strange dream involving Giles, a blue wedding gown, Mr. Gordo, and a giant chicken.  
  
She smiled foolishly, loving-liking- she told herself sternly the look on his face.  
  
"Look out for the chicken, Rupert!", he said suddenly, sitting bolt upright in bed.  
  
Buffy was shocked shitless. "I knocked!" she cried loudly.  
  
Spike, still being kind of out of it, uttered this utter non sequetur: "What? Where'd the pig with the tennis racket go?"  
  
She stared at him incredulously. "*What*??"  
  
His eyes focused on the couch, and it's totally baffled occupant. "Huh? Buffy? Where did you come from? And how long have you been there?" It was then that it occured to him to shift the blankets slightly, so as not to tempt the new rules.  
  
"I..." She pointed to the ladder blankly. "I knocked. Twice. And called." She looked left, right. "Loudly." She paused, frowned intensely at him. "The pig with a tennis racket??"  
  
He shook his head. "Don't ask. All I remember is a giant chicken in a blue wedding gown chasing Rupert past Mr. Gordo, and he had a tennis racket. I think the hot wings that I had for dinner were bad."  
  
Buffy started giggling. Finally, she wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh my.... hahaha!" A couple of gasps. "Mr. Gordo's revenge...."  
  
Spike tried to be serious, but the imagery got him after a moment, and he collapsed back against the pillows laughing. Recovering somewhat, he looked at Buffy. "It could have been worse..." His mouth twitched. "Rupert could have been wearing the gown..." He started laughing again.  
  
Buffy winced. "Uber-gross, much??"  
  
Spike wiped a tear from his eye. "Yes, but funny."  
  
She shook her head. "Wrong, disgusting and ugly. Yes. Funny, nuh-uh." "Are you awake now?"  
  
"If I'm not then my dreams have started to make sense. And, may I remind you that I'm a vampire? I have a twisted sense of humor."  
  
She allowed him a small grin for that one. "I called a Scooby meeting earlier today." She raised her hand. "I know you're a Scooby now, but I had to do it."  
  
"What was the topic?"  
  
"There are now rules for Scooby etiquette. Listen carefully."  
  
"I'm all ears."  
  
"There are to be no: Spying on, threats made to, nosy questions posed or unsolicited advice given to Spike."  
  
"I like this so far."  
  
"And they know. And you know. And if ANY of said rules are broken, I demand to know about it. I told them. I've told you, so you're to tell me. And I'll take care of it."  
  
He tossed her a playful salute. "Aye, Captain."  
  
She folded her arms. "I'm serious, Spike. Promise you'll tell me."  
  
He smiled at her. "I promise, luv. I do have a question, though."  
  
She arched her brow.  
  
"Which of us is which Scooby? Harris told me once, but I don't think I remember it."  
  
She wrinkled her brow. "I dunno. I don't even think we started calling ourselves that till you insulted us with it."  
  
"Do I get to pick, then? Since you could say that it was my idea."  
  
She laughed. "As long as Willow's Velma."  
  
"That's what I thought. And you're Daphne, and Rupert's Fred, and Harris is Shaggy." He cocked his head sideways. "Wait a minute, does that mean that I'm Scooby-Doo?"  
  
She did a very poor, "Rooby, Rooby-Roo!"  
  
He grinned. "Ruh-roh."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "We suck at imitations."  
  
He laughed. "Scary thing is, I can do a passable Tigger."  
  
Buffy laughed. "Really?"  
  
"Yeah. He was my favorite. Dru was always watching cartoons, and I kind of got sucked in."  
  
She laughed again. "I have a new rule."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Well, a very strong suggestion."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"I think we should go on a real date at least once a month, schedules allowing."  
  
He looked at her, slightly suprised. "Really? Like, to the movies, or a restaurant, or something?"  
  
She nodded, pulled her legs up on the couch in front of her, and wrapped her arms around them. "Yeah. If you want to."  
  
He grinned widely. "Of course I do, luv! I've even got all sorts of ideas. With flowers, and limos, and..." He trailed off. "Am I getting sappy again?"  
  
She grinned and held up a hand, her pointer finger and thumb an inch apart.  
  
"Better quit while I'm ahead, then."  
  
"And no limos. Way with the big bucks. I'll just be happy not going to the Double Meat."  
  
A slightly dissapointed look crossed his face. "Oh." He brightened. "But I'm sure that there's alot of things you'd like to do? Maybe we could take turns picking where to go and what to do?"  
  
She smiled back at him. "Sure. That sounds great."  
  
"Wonderful." He reached over, pulled a pair of pants under the covers, slipped into them, then flipped the covers back. "Whew, that's better. I was getting hot."  
  
Buffy swallowed, adding "boxers" to her Christmas list for Spike. "Much better."  
  
He raised his trademark eyebrow. "Did you say something, luv?"  
  
She blinked. "More butter."  
  
"Butter?"  
  
"Going over the grocery list, ya know... makin' cookies for Dawn's lunch." She nodded. "Need butter."  
  
He grinned. She could be so transparent sometimes. "Whatever you say, luv. Do you need any help? With the shopping and cooking, I mean. I could drop by, lend a hand?"  
  
Her mouth was dry, and she was not at all pleased with his smirk. "I think," she said in a snit, "that I can handle a batch of cookies."  
  
He held his hands up in mock surrender. "Have it your way, luv. I only want to help."  
  
"Then put on a shirt for God's sake!"  
  
He stood there, waited for her to realize what she had said.  
  
Her mouth moved, but no words came out. Which was unfortunately not the case three seconds ago, before she had needed to crawl into a hole and die.  
  
Saying nothing, Spike gently removed the new blue shirt from the hanger and slipped it on, keeping it unbuttoned. It was his crypt, after all.  
  
She moaned. "Don't you have an ugly one?"  
  
He grinned. "Are you talking about the shirt?"  
  
Buffy turned on her heel. "I'm going. I just came by to tell you.... the scooby stuff." She began walking towards the ladder.  
  
He caught her arm. "Wait, Buffy. I'm sorry. I'll be good." He released her arm and walked over to a chest of drawers, pulling out a ratty old tee shirt and slipping it on. "Please stay?"  
  
She sighed, glancing at his puppy dog eyes. She plopped back down on the couch. He smiled and sat on the end of the bed. "Now, what would you like to talk about?"  
  
A very nice list of unseemly mean things ran through her mind, but she tamped it down. "That there are two minutes left of Passions.That if you ask nicely, I'll let you borrow my tape, cuz I recorded it."  
  
He smiled again. "Since we're talking about a soap, let's do this right." He dropped to one knee in front of her. "Oh, Buffy," he began, melodramaticly. "I know you think that I attacked you all those years ago, but I want you to know that it was my evil twin! Please, don't keep my tape from me! I will die without it!"  
  
She smacked a hand to her forehead. "Was it? Or are YOU the evil twin?? I don't.... I just don't know, ever since I woke up from my 8 month coma. Perhaps... in time, my darling, you'll see the tape."  
  
He stood up, paced in front of her. "Buffy, you must believe me. I didn't even know about my evil twin untill after you dropped the church on him. I swear to you, I am the true Spike, and I .... love you!" He dropped to one knee again. "Tell me I may see my beloved tape once, just once, before the brain tumor takes my paltry life?"  
  
"Oh, Spike!" She tried to go on, but lost it, laughing at his melodramatic 'tumor' line. "Oh man.... all right... you worked hard for that one. You can watch the tape."  
  
Spike collapsed on the couch next to her, laughing. "Thanks, luv. I knew all those hours spent in front of the telly were good for something. Who says that you only learn stuff on PBS?"  
  
She leaned her head on his shoulder. "Who knows."  
  
Almost without thinking, he gently kissed the top of her head and slipped an arm around her.  
  
She smiled softly. Then she tilted her head and bit his shoulder.  
  
"OW!!", he yelped. "What the hell was that for?"  
  
She cuddled back into his shoulder. "For *knowing* you were messing with my head with your nakedness."  
  
Nothing he could say to that. "Well, I thought *I* was supposed to bite. Not you." He gasped, placing a hand over his heart. "Do you have an evil twin, too?"  
  
She nudged him, rolling her head into his shoulder. "Nope. I'm just a jumble of good and bad." She ran her hand down his arm, loosely linked their hands.  
  
He glanced down, and gently squeezed her hand. "Aren't we all?"  
  
"I missed talking to you a lot."  
  
"I missed talking to you, too."  
  
"Remember how we said if I was... comfortable, I could give you massages, too?"  
  
He perked up. This was a suprising line of conversation. "Uh, yeah. Why?" No pressure, he thought.  
  
She grew slightly stiff beside him, ready to accept if he said no. "May.. may I?"  
  
This was still a shock to him, but not enough that he was going to refuse it! "Yeah!", he said. [i]Oops, sounded too excited.[/i] "Uh, that is, if you really want to."  
  
She laughed. "We're really dancing around eachother here, aren't we?"  
  
He chuckled. "Yeah. No pressure. Right? What do you want me to do?"  
  
"Um... just... lose the shirt, and get comfy somewhere."  
  
Spike removed his old teeshirt, and layed on his stomach across the bed. "Like this?"  
  
"Yeah..." She approached him nervously. "Tell me if anything hurts, ok?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
She remembered back to the only time she had ever been to a spa. Placing the heels of her thumbs at the top of his spine at his neck, she made a firm, smooth stroke to his tailbone. She did the exact same thing in reverse, then spread out her hands to knead at the muscles in his back.  
  
Spike's only response was a low moan of pleasure, as well as the beginnings of that deep rumbling purr.  
  
When she finished kneading the muscle of his back, she moved her hands over his shoulders, and rolled them slightly. She pinched softly where they met his neck, then smoothed them.  
  
This recieved a barely auditable "ahh" from the vampire, and the purr got louder.  
  
She repeated this twice, then pushed his head slightly down, his forehead slightly pushing into the comforter. She frowned intensely at his neck, and used her thumbs to rub in small circles across it. Using one hand, she made a kneading motion, then switched back to her thumbs. She moved up slowly into his scalp, smiling at his purring.  
  
He was back to vibrating with the purring, as well as more of those moans.  
  
She moved over his head, massaging in circles, ending at his temples.  
  
He was pressing his head into her hands, purring like a race car. His eyes were closed, and he had a peaceful look on his face. She smiled, not wanting his happy look to fade, so she slowly moved her hands to his ribs, and started to scratch. What happened next suprised both Spike and Buffy. As she scratched his ribs, his left leg started to twitch. She followed the shaking of his leg with her eyes, and scratched a bit more vigorously. In time with her scratching, the leg speeded up. At the same time, the purring got even louder. A triumphant feeling coursing through her, she kept scratching.  
  
Spike was in heaven. No one had ever done anything like this for him before. It was incredible. And, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get that bloody leg to stop!  
  
She happily kept scratching, and leaned forward, placing a tiny kiss on the base of his neck.  
  
Spike felt her lips, and began thanking wherever his soul had come from that a moment of perfect happiness couldn't cause him to lose it. He would have lost it ten times by then.  
  
She slowly wound down her scratching to a soft rubbing, and she finally left off.  
  
After a moment, Spike opened his eyes and rolled over. "Whoa, luv. Have you ever thought about being a professional massuse?" He noticed her amused look. "What's so funny?"  
  
She shook her head. "You're too cute. Like a little puppy having it's belly rubbed."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
She grinned. "The leg floppy thing."  
  
He looked embarrassed. Then he looked up. "What? Peaches never did that? I thought all vamps had that sort of thing."  
  
A shadow fell over her eyes quickly, but she shoved it away. "Angel and I never... Or much or anything. I've never scratched another vampire, to say the least."  
  
He laughed. "Somehow, that doesn't suprise me. Peaches was never the touchy- feely type. Now I, on the other hand, have a bit of a... condition... you might say."  
  
She grinned and perched on the side of the bed. "A condition?"  
  
"Yeah," he said, staying on his back and looking up at her. "When a vampire has been in a very close relationship, for a very long time... Me and Dru, case in point... They develop certain needs." "All vampires love being touched," he continued. "And after awhile, it becomes expected. That's why, after Dru dumped me, I became desperate enough to sire Harm."  
  
Buffy shuddered. "The bane of your existence. Mine, at least..."  
  
"Yeah, but she served her purpose. I needed companionship, and she provided it. Untill I fell in deeper with you Scoobies." He looked at her. "A vamp with this condition is refered to as 'love starved'."  
  
She smiled. "Love's bitch, hmm?"  
  
"More ways than one, luv. For the entirety of my unlife, I will have to have a significant other, or a pack of minions. Something so that I won't be alone. If I'm alone for long, I will quite literally go insane. That's what it means to be love starved." He waited for her reaction. Hoping that she wouldn't think that he had fallen for her because of the condition. It was so much more than that. She had to know.  
  
She thought about his words. Realized he didn't mean that she was... a distraction from starvation. "I guess that just means you'll be an exception to every rule." She smiled. "You're a loving vampire with a soul."  
  
He grinned. "Yeah, I guess I am."  
  
She smiled wryly, touched a hand to his cheek. "Guess I'll just have to keep you."  
  
He gave her a genuine smile, then shifted slightly. He paused every few inches, as if to ask if it was okay, finally, he came to rest with his head in her lap.  
  
Her hand trailed down his arm, back up, and over his back. She pulled her hand away stiffly. "I'm sorry. I just.... I never mean to..."  
  
"Never mean to what, luv?"  
  
She rolled her eyes at herself. "I never mean to keep touching you... I didn't realize that I missed that, too."  
  
"Hey, love starved, remember? I don't mind. Hell, I love it!"  
  
She chuckled softly, kept her hand tracing patterns on his back. "You did a number on my brain when you woke up."  
  
He arched into her hand, the cat impression coming across clear as a bell. "Yeah, sorry about that. Stupid weird dreams."  
  
She grinned. "That wasn't what I- Yeah... stupid wierd dreams."  
  
He smiled at her. "No excuses, luv. What did you mean?"  
  
"Satin sheets, plus naked Spike equals gormet salty goodness. Especially to a love-starved Buffy."  
  
To his credit, he was actually suprised. "Really? I didn't even think about that when I picked them out. I just like satin." He arched an eyebrow at her. "But we have been winding up on eachother's beds alot, lately."  
  
She arched a brow. Said dryly, "Wow, and what a quick way to end it."  
  
He chuckled. "Come on, luv. You're human. Granted, superhuman, but human, none the less. How could you be love-starved? Especially with your pals."  
  
She wrinkled her nose at him. "I might have missed being annoyed to death, and bothered on patrol. And snuggles. There was soooo an absense of snuggles. And smoochies. But.... ya know," she said grandly. "There are always people for that."  
  
He nuzzled his head against her thigh. "I agree about the snuggling, luv." The last sentence sunk in. "Hey! What people?!"  
  
She tried to contain a grin and smiled innocently. "Ya know. People."  
  
"You better start giving me names and addresses, Slayer. I have some "people" to kill!", he ground out. But his tone suggested that he knew he was playing.  
  
She 'Hmphed' him. "Dawn, and Xander, and Willow have been nice with the hugs and smoochies."  
  
He rolled completely onto his back, his head still in her lap. "Well, just tell Harris that if he touches you, a big, scary vampire is going to kick his ass."  
  
She blinked. Looked left. Then right. "Where!? What big scary vampire??"  
  
He gave her a mock hurt look. "Hey! I'm big and scary. And I know I'm a vampire. I've got the fangs and bumps to prove it."  
  
"Whooooo.... big scary vampire..." She intoned sarcastically. "Please don't hurt me..."  
  
"Humph," he snorted, rolling over with his back to her. "I'm scary." That was almost a whisper.  
  
She felt a wave of sympathy run through her. What was a vampire with a soul, but a human without a pulse? It really wasn't fair. She kissed his temple. "You're absolutely terrifying to the evil things you kill all the time. And the people running about who don't know you won't hurt them."  
  
He rolled back over, a small smile on his face. "You really think so? If you weren't the Slayer, and you saw me growl at you, would I scare you? Forget the fact that you've seen my "puppy having it's belly rubbed" impression."  
  
She nodded. "Completely terrified. And when you do the little jump towards the person after you growl? Whoo. No joke, first time you did that, Slayer or not, gave me a major wiggins."  
  
He chuckled. "Now you're just playing with me."  
  
She shook her head. "Hell, no. You scared me so bad. I was glad mom was around to help kick your ass."  
  
Now he laughed out loud. "Ahh. Now that's a woman who was afraid of nothing. I knew she was there, I smelled her, but I never expected the axe."  
  
Buffy grinned. "Mom bitched at me for a week, scaring a year off her life, and why didn't I stake you?" She laughed. "Then she has hot cocoa with you."  
  
"Three separate times." He fingered the guardian angel charm that was still on the chain around his neck. "I'm having a sudden craving for cocoa. How about you, luv?"  
  
She smiled softly. "Totally want the tiny marshmallows."  
  
"You and me both."  
  
TBC.... 


	6. Deepest Secret.

Buffy twirled her stake expertly. Yeah.... that got old six months after she started slaying... She was done for the evening. Her sacred duty, blah blah, all done. Bored. Her eyes alighted on Spike's crypt. Almost prancing to the door, she knocked impatiently.  
  
"Yeah?," came Spike's voice. But it wasn't coming from inside.  
  
She twirled, stake raised. "Spike?" She walked in a circle around the crypt stealthily. Well, she thought it looked pretty darn cool.  
  
"On the roof, luv."  
  
She snapped her head to follow the sound-and the instruction. "Oh." Sheepish, sheepish, sheepish. "Hey."  
  
He leaned his head over the side of the roof. "Hey, Slayer. Need some help? Or did you just stop by to chat?"  
  
She grinned up at him. "Just chat. Whatcha doing?"  
  
"Stargazing. A useful hobby when you're a night person." He cocked his head playfully. "Or unperson, as it were. Want to join me? There's a ladder at the back. It's hidden by that big bush."  
  
She scampered, trying not to scamper, to the back, and climbed up the ladder. "Tada! Super-slayer skills, what can I say?" She sat on the edge, near him, her legs swinging. "Hey."  
  
He chuckled. "I think we already said 'hey', luv. Did you have anything specific that you wanted to talk about?"  
  
She shrugged. She was in a blissful mood, and not sure why. But she wanted to share it. And she wanted to play. "Wanna play a game?" She was proud of the way that there was absolutely only one percent innuendo in that question.  
  
He raised an eyebrow and poked her in the ribs. "What kind of game, luv?"  
  
She batted at his hands. "I believe you stated the no tickle rule. Deepest Secret."  
  
He grinned. "I said no tickling me, and that's open for discussion. I like to play, too, you know. What's Deepest Secret?"  
  
Her eyes lit up. "Each person starts with 5 points. And we take turns asking questions. You have the right to not answer any question. But you lose a point. And who ever loses all their points first, is a big loser."  
  
"So it's basicly like Truth or Dare, without the dare, huh? But I don't like to play unless there's a little more at stake, pardon the pun. What happens to the person who loses?"  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Depends on who plays. Um... if *you* lose, no more kitten poker, or for liberating purposes only."  
  
He grinned at her. "And if you lose, no denial privledges. You know what I mean."  
  
Her mouth moved. Then she grinned confidently. "You're going down. In fact, I'll even let you give the first question."  
  
"Alright," he said. He layed down, allowing his legs to dangle over the edge of the roof. "Uh, let's start easy. What're your top three favorite movies?"  
  
She mulled it over. "Princess Bride. Breakfast Club. Gone With the Wind."  
  
"Gone With The Wind? You've got to be kidding."  
  
She glared at him. "Is that a question? And by the way, Rhett was totally awesome. I bawled when Bonnie Blue died."  
  
"But he left her in the end," he shook his head. "Never mind, it's your turn."  
  
She grinned. "You never saw Scarlett. Hm..." She felt nice. "If you could listen to one CD, record or tape for eternity, what would it be?"  
  
He locked his hands behind his head. "Hmm. I guess Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet. My favorite song of theirs is on that cd."  
  
"I totally love Jon Bon Jovi. He is hot beyond words."  
  
He glanced at her. "That's a suprise, luv. Maybe we have more in common than we thought. Here's your question: How many times have you been in love?"  
  
She mulled the question over, and discouned her un-decided feelings for Spike. Then decided to count them. Closely. "Um... one and an uncounted like... fourth." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, stilling her swinging legs. "How many times have YOU been in love?"  
  
"That's easy. Three times in my whole life and unlife."  
  
She nodded. "Your up. Score's still 5-5."  
  
"Alright. Uh, what's your favorite desert?" He chuckled. "I should probably already know this, but I figured I'd ask, anyway."  
  
She grinned, envisioning it. "Double chocolate vanilla icecream, in the container, with 'She's All That' on TV."  
  
Spike licked his lips. "Oh, God. I love double chocolate anything. It's your turn."  
  
The only thing Buffy loved more than playing any game was winning. "Who is Halfrek to you?"  
  
Ah, she thought she'd get him with this, but he wasn't going to lose a point that easily. "I knew her. When both of us were human. In fact, she had something to do with an earlier question." He looked at her. "Remember when I told you about the night I was sired?"  
  
Buffy nodded, knowing her question had more to do with him than the point.  
  
He sighed. Who knew that there could still be pain after all those years? "When she was human, her name was Cecily." He stopped, letting it sink in.  
  
"*That* *-bitch-*." The words rolled through her mind and out her mouth faster than she could control the slice of fury through her system.  
  
That was a shock. "Whoa, calm down, luv. It was a long time ago. I'm over it." His eyes said otherwise.  
  
The fury turning her eyes emerald belied her, "Sorry. I feel better now. Beneath her." She made a pfffft-ing noise. "And she's what? Ugly holey-face vengence demon now? Wow, how impressive at the demon class reunion..."  
  
He chuckled. When did she aquire the ability to make him feel better about anything? "Is it my turn?"  
  
She smoothed her feathers. "Yuppers."  
  
"Ok. As of right now, do you still love Angel?" The question was posed lightly, but she could hear the hidden intensity. He wanted to know if she was over Angel, so that he wouldn't have the shadow of his GrandSire hanging over this relationship, as it had with Dru.  
  
Buffy took a deep breath, and gave words to what she had felt so long ago. "When... Angel walked away, I was heartbroken. But I figured something out. Who he was with a soul was not who he really was at all. He was like... a mean dog on a leash. Remove leash, Angelus. I knew that when he killed Jenny. And nothing was the same after that." "So... No. I don't love Angel, because there really is no Angel to love. Only Angelus with a leash. And I won't love a mean dog."  
  
The grin was huge for a moment, but he tamped it down. Tried not to look too happy. "Ok. Your turn, then."  
  
"What did you love most about Dru?"  
  
"You'll think it's stupid."  
  
She shrugged. "Then don't answer."  
  
He laughed. "Oh no, luv. I'm not losing a point on this. It was when she was taking care of me. After you dropped the church on me. She'd hold me, rub my sides. I loved that." He made a face. "Then Angelus showed up and ruined it." Looked at her. "For both of us."  
  
She smiled bitterly. "Yeah... Anyway, you're up."  
  
"Same question. What'd you love about Captain Cardboard?"  
  
"Um..." She laughed. "He looked... impressed with me. I was something special, and it shone in his eyes when he looked at me."  
  
"You are special, luv. You know that, right? You're a one of a kind, wonderful, beautiful woman. Everyone who knows you has been blessed to have you in their lives."  
  
She looked down, surprised to feel a tear streaking down her cheek. She gave a half smile. "Sometimes I just don't think so." She smiled up at him. "But lately... I've felt better about being here. With people."  
  
He grinned. "You and me both, luv. Your turn."  
  
"Absolute biggest regret. Survey saays?"  
  
He laughed. "Thank you, Louie Anderson." He turned thoughtful. "Huh. I guess it would be not knocking Doc off that bloody tower when I had the chance." Now it was his turn for a tear. He brightened slightly. "Now you, what's your biggest regret, luv?"  
  
She thought back. Through everything. "I didn't tell my mom I loved her the day she died. I know she knew, we weren't fighting, but.... ya know?"  
  
Spike tried to hide a sniffle. His hand went to the guardian angel charm on his chain. "I never told her how much our little chats meant to me. She talked me out of staking myself more than once."  
  
Buffy smiled, only letting herself remember happy, vibrant, loving Joyce. Not vacant stare, on the couch dead Mommy. She shuddered. Thought of her smile, and was calmed. "You're up."  
  
He shook his head. "Nuh-uh. Your turn. I asked your biggest regret, remember? Then we got off topic."  
  
She nodded. "Yeah. Sorry." Her eyes lit up. A sly smile curved her lip. "Most horrendous, outrageous, disgusting sexcapade?"  
  
Time for the big blue eyes look. "What!?"  
  
She leaned back to lie on the crypt's roof, her arms behind her head. "I don't stutter."  
  
"Oh, alright. But I don't want anyone else to hear this." He leaned over, whispered in her ear for a long time. The more he whispered, the wider her eyes got. Finally, he finished and layed back again.  
  
The blush that had heated her face now threatened to catch Spike on fire. She averted her gaze. "That is so sick. I did NOT expect you to answer that." She moaned. "Oh God... I'm gonna need a therapist to get the image of you and- uggggghhhh!" She shuddered. She mimed poking out her eyes.  
  
He laughed, hard. Clutching his sides. "When you think of other questions, remember that I'm a sick, twisted individual. And a vampire, at that." He relaxed and layed back again.  
  
She glared. "Your turn, perv-o-matic."  
  
He laughed again. "Ok. Remember what you said about Angel earlier? The dog comment? Do you think I'm a mean dog on a leash, too?"  
  
She shook her head. "No. You... You were gentle, loving and kind, before the chip, to Dru, or whoever. Angel couldn't have done that." She smiled. "I guess your heart is your leash, but it's a respectable one. And you're a nice dog."  
  
He panted playfully. "And do you like nice dogs?" He scooted closer. "Like, enough to rub it's stomach?" Puppy eyes, to make the image complete. "And it's your turn."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "When I win this game, I'll pat your belly." She thought. "Um... Favorite thing about.... Xander?"  
  
He chuckled. "Fair enough." Made a face. "Harris? I don't like anything about him." He noticed her look. "Oh, alright. He gets off a good joke, every now and then. There, are you happy?"  
  
She laughed. "Wow. I think you should lose a point for that lame an answer."  
  
"Hey! I answered, didn't I?! And, if you must know. My favorite thing about Xander is how he's always there for you." He gave her a playful look. "Now, what's your favorite thing about me?"  
  
She ran her tongue across her teeth like he always did. Then she smiled sweetly. "Awww.. I think... that you always... Um..." She blushed.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"But it's- I wanna pass! But I won't! It's.... ah.. how you say you love me in your sleep." She rushed it out. In one tiny breath. "What's your favorite book?"  
  
He looked suprised for a moment. "I do? I didn't know I talked in my sleep." He grinned. "Favorite book, huh? Here's another one that you'll think is stupid. It's Alice Through The Looking Glass." He got a far away look in his eyes. "A book that's full of nonsense, and yet, somehow, makes sense. It helped me to understand Dru."  
  
She barely hid a snort at the thought of his old mistress.  
  
"I heard that. Now, what's your favorite color?"  
  
She glanced at him. "Yellow. And blue. It's a tie. Yours?"  
  
He chuckled. "You won't believe me. It's deep purple. With midnight blue as a tie."  
  
She grinned. "To each their own."  
  
He returned her grin. "Yeah. Now, if you could see anywhere in the universe, even another planet, what would it be?"  
  
She said thoughtfully, "The moon. It has such a large effect on people, on evil, on.. well, everything. I guess I'd want to know why." She glanced sideways at him. "Did you ever do anything with Angel?"  
  
"Uh, what kind of anything?"  
  
"Any, and every kind of anything. Ya know, -ANY- thing."  
  
"Aside from him kicking my ass, repeatedly, us hunting together, and sharing Dru sometimes, no."  
  
Her nose crinkled up for a split second and she evened out her features. "Ok."  
  
"I have to ask this," he said, looking at her curiously. "Remember the other day, on your bed? When you were tickling me? Did you ever do anything like that with Peaches?"  
  
She shook her head. "Never. We hugged. Cuddled. Kissed... ya know. But no. Nothing... really... ya know."  
  
"You never played together? Really? I can't imagine being in a relationship without playing sometimes."  
  
She smiled sadly. "No play." Her smile slipped. "Not even fore-" She stopped. "Why do you paint your nails black?"  
  
He held up a hand, looked at it. "Don't really know. Thought it added to my "tough vamp" image."  
  
She giggled. "Yes, you sitting in front of the 'telly' painting your nails oh-so-carefully certainly adds to that rough and tumble image."  
  
He chuckled. "Yeah. I've been thinking about quitting, though." He looked at her. "Ok, when you first met me, first impression."  
  
She snorted derisively, "What the hell is this? Asshole day? Then you got kinda scary... Cuz... everybody talks big. But you fight big, too. I just... fought, and shot off my mouth for all I was worth. And prayed to whoever looked out for slayers that you'd slip up."  
  
He squirmed around a little. "I'm not scary now, am I?"  
  
She smiled. "You love me. I don't have to be scared of you. Would I be sitting on a roof playing Deepest Secret with someone who scared me?"  
  
"Good point. Got a question for me?"  
  
"First impression, me."  
  
He grinned. "Shorter than the last one. But when we got to fighting, tell you the truth, you scared ME."  
  
She grinned and made pumping motions with her arms. "Grrrr. Arrrgh! Who's the slayer?"  
  
He threw his hands up. "Oh no! Save me from the terrifying Slayer!" He rolled out of the way as she reached for him. "Ahh, help, the Slayer's gonna get me!"  
  
She punched his arm. "Don't mock the slayer. She'll get you, boy."  
  
He laughed. "I'm kidding, luv. Now, do you have a question?"  
  
"It's your turn. I asked impression." She laughed. "You just can't stump me."  
  
"Oh, yeah. Like you've even been trying with me."  
  
"Only a couple times, pervo."  
  
He laughed again. "Ok, let me try. Uh..." He grinned. "I've got it. Do you love me?"  
  
She grew very still. Tilted her head away from him. "Point."  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
"If I ever asked you, after all the Scoobies are gone, Dawn, everyone.... would you... take me? Turn me?"  
  
His eyes grew wide. "What? Make you a vamp? Take away the soul that I love so much? Never. If you wanted, I'd kill you, then stake myself."  
  
"No," she snarked sharply, "You wouldn't!"  
  
It was only then that she noticed the tears in his eyes. "I wouldn't want to live without them, either, luv. But I couldn't do that to you."  
  
She nodded. "Unfair question.. but there will be no staking if Buffy's batteries finally don't recharge."  
  
Now the tears fell. "If none of the Scoobies were left, if you were gone, who would stop me?"  
  
She sat up, wrapped her arms around her knees. "A soul doesn't guarantee heaven. That's horrible of me, but it's true. People go to hell all the time. You will not." Her eyes flashed at him. " I will not allow it."  
  
He moved closer, hoping for a hug. "You really care where I wind up?"  
  
She wrapped her arms tentatively around him. "I guess so. So no staking till you're sure of a destination."  
  
He leaned into the hug, putting his arms around her. "Just tell me where to go to buy the tickets, luv," he whispered in her ear.  
  
She smiled softly. "My question. I was missing a sky blue thong with sunshines embroidered in gold. Like... when Riley was around. Did you steal it?"  
  
He leaned back and layed back down. "Yeah. But I think you blew it up when you threw the grenade down there."  
  
She smacked his arm indignantly. "You don't even have the shame to lie! Those cost me like... half a week's allowance." She glowered at him. "For panties I only got to wear twice."  
  
He tried, unsucessfully, to hide a chuckle. "How much? I'll pay you."  
  
She sniffed. "About $20, with inflation."  
  
His eyes grew wide. "TWENTY BUCKS FOR UNDERWEAR?!! Where the hell do you shop?"  
  
She smiled coyly. "I don't believe you shop there. Money. Palm. Buffy smile."  
  
He let out an indignant sigh. "Fine." Pulled out his wallet. Handed her a fifty. "Keep the change. I probably owe you for other articles of clothing."  
  
Her eyes grew big. "Dawn DIDN'T swipe my blue angorra sweater??"  
  
"No. And I still have that, but you probably don't want it back."  
  
She made a horrified face. "Oh, God. Ask your question. Hurry."  
  
He grinned. "Why do you think that I don't want you to have it back? The sweater, I mean."  
  
"... You probably put it on that horrible mannequinne... or... let the Bot wear it."  
  
He laughed. "Close, but not quite."  
  
She took another needed deep breath. "Why do you not want me to have it back?"  
  
"Because Harmony wore it, and I didn't want to gross you out."  
  
She dropped her head. "You let that ho-biscuit wear my sweater?"  
  
He laughed. "Let's just say that it was a role playing thing."  
  
She whimpered. "Again.... your question..."  
  
"Let's go back to simple. Are there any animals that scare you?"  
  
"Ew!! So totally. The spiders in Sunnydale? They grew in hell, on like.... Miracle Spidey-grow. I spaz and make Dawn kill 'em."  
  
He shuddered. "I'm so with you on that. But it's scorpians that do it to me. Probably beetles too, now."  
  
"Beetles? ... Eww, there's one right over there?" She pointed to a corner of the ceiling.  
  
"WHERE!!?" He leaped up, spinning in a circle with vamp speed. "Where's a beetle? I hate beetles."  
  
She stood, walked to the corner very calmly, and squashed it with her fashionable boot. "There. Gone. That's why they call me the Slayer!"  
  
Spike let out a sigh of relief. "Whew. Thanks, luv. It could have been one of those flesh-eaters, like the ones in that Shaman's cave. That was one of the trials."  
  
Her eyes grew large. "My question. Do you regret the trials?"  
  
He sat back down. "They were painful, and scary. Make that bloody terrifying. But the result is worth it. So, no. I don't regret them at all."  
  
She nodded. Very slowly, she placed her head in his lap, her eyes staring at his jean-clad knees.  
  
"Do you regret trying... this? A relationship, with me?" He looked down at her, stroking her hair with a gentle hand.  
  
"Am I scared, ridiculously ashamed of myself, yes. But no. I'm... glad?" She debated her word. "Yeah. Glad that we can even attempt. Even if we can't- Anyway, I'll know we tried. For the right reasons."  
  
He looked down at her. "I love you. And this, whatever it is, will work. We'll make it work. We've come too far to fail now."  
  
She smiled softly, turned her head into his thigh to hide it there. Then she spoke. "While you were gone... what did you miss most about me?"  
  
"Your smile. Even though I didn't get to see it much. It just... it makes your whole face light up. Makes you even more beautiful."  
  
She was flustered. How did he do that? "Oh."  
  
"What'd you miss about me?" He looked up at the stars. "Assuming you missed me at all, that is."  
  
She scoffed. "I missed you. I mean, even when I didn't want to. And... this is... wierd, considering."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I missed touching you. Because whenever I needed you, I just... reached out. And you were there to hold on to. I needed someone to hold onto after everything... after Willow. After... everything."  
  
He smiled, that genuine, heart-melting smile. "I'm here now, luv. You can touch me."  
  
She smiled. "I know." She pouted. "I can't stump you. And I'm losing."  
  
He grinned. "Try again. Maybe you'll get lucky."  
  
She furrowed her brow. "You never watched me... um... doing anything.. in my room, did you?"  
  
"Anything? Like what?"  
  
"Like... anything... not-clothed-ee."  
  
He ducked his head. "Point."  
  
She muttered to herself, "Point means neither yes or no.. neither yes or no...."  
  
"That's right, luv. Just like when you said it to the "Do you love me" question."  
  
She shot him a pointed look. "Just a tad different. Ask away."  
  
Spike leaned back again, liking how his passing on the last question had made her squirm. "Ok. What is your favorite.... Uh, book?"  
  
She looked at him. "Don't laugh at me." She smiled fondly and said, "Don Quixote."  
  
He nodded. "Yeah. I liked that one too. Now there's a guy that knows what it means to be devoted to your job." He chuckled.  
  
She grinned at him. "What do you do with the kittens you win at poker?"  
  
He debated telling her that he ate them, but then remembered that he'd sworn to tell the truth. "Let's just say that every week or so, a basket finds it's way to the SPCA."  
  
She laughed. Long and hard. "That's so cute. Oh my gosh... haha..."  
  
He snorted indignantly. "It's not funny, luv. Clem wanted to eat 'em."  
  
She gasped. "Clem?? CLEM wanted to eat those little baby kitties???" She snorted. "I had a dream once... you sired like.. a whole litter of vampire kittens to suck my blood..."  
  
"Well, he didn't want to eat them, per say. But he had a debt to Teeth. I wouldn't let him borrow from me, though." His eyes got big. "I never thought of that. Dru sired a puppy, once. But it made the mistake of biting Angelus. Poor thing wound up nailed to a tree, waiting for sunrise."  
  
Buffy's eyes grew wide. "How... sick." She shuddered. "You're up."  
  
"If someone had gone back in time, to six years ago, and told you what we've been doing for the last couple of weeks, what would be the hardest for you to believe?"  
  
She grinned. "The... un-violence of it all."  
  
"Come on, luv. Be specific."  
  
She sat up from his lap. "That we'd... feel... for eachother. Ya know, the helping, the lo- caring... That sort of thing. I sling the question back at you."  
  
He grinned. She'd almost said "love". Then he thought for awhile. "I guess I'd have to say the fact that I'm in love with you, mostly. Secondly, what happened when I grabbed Mr. Gordo the other morning. I would not have believed that, the one time that the Slayer had me totally pinned, that she'd be tickling me, rather than staking me."  
  
She smiled ruefully. "True. I would have dusted your ass six years ago. Especially if you had the gall to lay one undead finger on my pig."  
  
He chuckled. "I believe it. Now, have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Just something I was wondering about."  
  
A blush suffused her cheeks. "Pass, pass, pass, pass, pass..."  
  
He grinned. "It was Rupert, wasn't it?"  
  
She glared at him, tossed her hair. "I -said- pass. Did you- Were you a virgin when you were turned?"  
  
Thankfully, Spike couldn't blush. But he could be embarrased. He ducked his head. "Yeah. Dru was my first, and only for over a hundred years."  
  
She sighed, disregarding the sweetness of the statement to mull over her disgust in not being able to get him to pass. "I really freaking hate her."  
  
He sighed. "I wish I could..." Raised his head. "When you were little, did you ever want a pet?"  
  
She wrinkled her brow at him. "Is that your question?"  
  
"Yeah. I thought we'd go back to the easy ones." He sighed. "And the less painful ones.."  
  
She laid her head back in his lap, feeling more relaxed. "I wanted a pony. But I got a cat. I named him Pyewackit."  
  
"What kind of a name is Pyewackit?", Spike said, cocking his head.  
  
She laughed. "It's the name of the cat in the first play I ever saw. Bell, Book and Candle." She grinned at the irony. "It was about witches."  
  
He nodded. "Oh. Makes alot more sense than my cat's name."  
  
She smiled. "What was his name?"  
  
"When I first started feeding him, I thought he was a she. And he was always rubbing up against me, and generally bugging the hell out of me. So I named it Harmony. But, then I found out that it was a male, so I changed it to Harmon. He's black, with white feet and a white chin and chest." He looked around. "He's gotta be around here somewhere. He never goes far from the crypt."  
  
She turned her head from looking at his knees to look at him in surprise. "That's the first pet you've ever had??"  
  
He grinned ruefully. "When I was human, I had terrible allergies. No animals. Not even a rat or a mouse. I'd start sneezing, get an awful headache. Harm's the first pet that I've really had. Dru had pets, and I was the one that took care of them, since she never remembered to. But they weren't mine. Harmon's MY cat."  
  
She grinned at the pride in his voice. "Well... I guess you get two questions now."  
  
Another grin. "Fair enough. Who's your best friend, Red, or Harris? And what did they say when you told them about our rules?"  
  
She shrugged. "Both of them are. I used to think Xander, cuz Willow was busy, then Willow, cuz Xander was busy. Everyone has things to deal with. They both are." She grinned. "Willow almost stood and cheered. It was almost like old-Willow. Told me she thought we'd been banging, but I look happy. Xander... eh... took some convincing. He groaned, bitched, generally froze me out. Then I broke a table on accident. Got his attention."  
  
"And then what happened?"  
  
She turned her head toward his knees again. Said very quietly, her body still, "Xander cried."  
  
Spike looked down at her, shock registering on his face. "What!? Why? I'd understand him wanting to stake me, but what...?"  
  
She looked slowly into his eyes. "You've had anyone he really loved, Spike. He's just... lost. We're trying to help him find himself again."  
  
Spike's eyes filled with tears. "I hadn't... I mean, I didn't... I have to apologize to him." A single tear ran down his cheek. "Add that to the list of pain that I've caused... And people to apologize to..." Two more tears made their way down the planes of his face. "I want to help him. What can I do?"  
  
She shrugged. "We're just.... being there. Making him important in my training, in running the Magic Box. Anything. He feels... low." She reached up, touched a finger to his tears. "We'll fix it. That's what we do after all, isn't it?"  
  
He blinked and sniffed. "That's what you do. I just make things worse." He sniffed again. "And it's your turn."  
  
She sat up indignantly and shoved a hand to his chest. "What the hell is the matter with you? So who was there for Dawn, or Anya? Or me, Spike? What would have happened to me without you?"  
  
"You're right, luv," he said, head down. "It's just... I've caused so much sorrow. What I've helped with doesn't even scratch the surface. I just... feel... so bad." Another, barely supressed sniff.  
  
Her feeling of wanting to kick the Spike fled, and she hugged him softly, shifting to sit in his lap. "You've helped save the world twice over. That negates some badness. Your turn."  
  
He gave a pained grin and wrapped his arms around her. "Uh-uh. I asked my two questions, you answered them, and we started this. It's your turn, luv." He planted a soft kiss on the top of her head.  
  
She looked to his eyes. "Ok. Do you realize that before your soul you were good, and a help, and we'd have been screwed without you?"  
  
"I was not good. I was evil," he said with an indignant snort. "The only thing that stopped me from killing the lot of you was the chip." He waited a moment, deathly serious, it seemed. But the corner of his mouth was twitching.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "I don't sit on truly ex-evil people's laps. Excuse me." She made to move from his lap. He clasped his hands around her waist, making an undead seatbelt that effectivly prevented her from moving.  
  
She laid her hands over his, linked over her waist. "Well? C'mon.. hit me with your best shot."  
  
"Please tell me that wasn't meant as a song cue."  
  
She laughed. "Only if you don't ask me a question." She pouted. "You're getting boring."  
  
He play-growled in her ear and released one hand to poke her stomach. A spot that he'd discovered on a previous night. "Boring, am I?"  
  
She jerked. "No tickling. Your rule. Ask." She turned her head. "I'll have to use all my feminie wiles on you."  
  
He grinned. "I'm thinking of changing that rule. It's fun, when I'm not trapped. Now, how old were you when you had your first crush? Movie stars don't count."  
  
She tapped her chin thoughfully. "Bobby Mackenzie, kindergarten." She sighed romantically. "He shared his blue crayon with me...."  
  
Spike fought back a chuckle, and lost. He tipped over sideways, taking the indignant Slayer with him.  
  
She pushed at him. "Don't laugh! He was-ha! Is hot!"  
  
He continued to laugh, still holding Buffy, his hands locked around her waist. "But... Kindergarden?" Another fit of laughter. "What were you? Five?"  
  
She snorted. "I was smart. I got to start when I was four." She squirmed.  
  
"You want me to let go, Slayer?" He grinned. "Make me."  
  
Her eyes flared with the challenge. She turned to him. Ran a hand down his arm. "No," she said throatily. "Don't let me go..."  
  
Spike's eyes grew wide, and he loosened his grip. "Rules... we have rules..", he muttered under his breath.  
  
She inched closer, eyes hooded, "But I..."  
  
"Rules, rules, rules..." It was a chant, now.  
  
She pouted up at him. "Are you saying you're not gonna..." she brushed a finger across his lips.  
  
Spike closed his eyes. The "rules, rules, rules" chant still going, but really quietly. Did she want him to kiss her? They did have kissing rules, so it wouldn't be breaking them, right? His grip loosened even more as he fought to relax a very uncooprative body part that was making his jeans uncomfortably tight in a certain area...  
  
She leaned in, bit his earlobe softly. "You better let me go unless we're breaking rules..."  
  
Oh, that did it. That was a weak spot, and she knew it. He released her and rolled over with his back to her. Fighting to calm himself down, quite literally.  
  
She smiled at her victory. "Make you, indeed, Spike, hmmm?"  
  
"Can't talk right now," he ground out. "Consentrating..." Deep breath. "Your turn..."  
  
She tried to think on something non-sexy just because she felt bad. "Ugliest clothes you've ever worn?"  
  
"Bellbottom pants," came the vampire's reply. His back still to her. He wasn't sure if he could look at her just yet.  
  
She nodded. "That *would* be atrocious on you." She sighed. "Sorry," she said petulantly. "You DID say make you."  
  
He rolled halfway over, so that he was laying on his back, arms spread wide. "Yeah, but I guess I should have been more specific. As in WHAT I wanted you to make me do." He chuckled. "Because that wasn't it."  
  
She laughed. "Sorry..." It was totally unrepentant. "You need to be specific. Besides, it was way fun."  
  
"Uh-huh. For you, maybe. Bloody painful for me. I need to buy looser pants. I already told you that you cheat," he said with a grin, refering to her stint as "Inviso-Buffy".  
  
She blushed. Blinked. "Um... Your turn." She said quietly, almost to herself, "When I win this game, we're revising kissing rules."  
  
"I heard that. What else did you do while you were invisible? Besides me."  
  
She glanced at him for his crudeness. "Messed with the social workers head... people's heads at the park... just... had fun. Floated a pizza box."  
  
"Ripped all the buttons off my favorite shirt..."  
  
She grinned ferally at the thought of the sex that day. "Yeah. Way with the not sorries."  
  
He laughed. "What's your question, luv?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh. Uh... What do you miss most, since 'The Rules'?"  
  
He thought. "Huh. I don't know. I really like the way we are now." He gave her a glare. "When you don't cheat, that is. But I'd have to say... Just the feeling, being with you. At the moment where we stop being two bodys, and become one. That instant. The moment that lasts forever. That's what I miss most." He chuckled. "William the Bloody Awful Poet is at it again."  
  
She swallowed. "That's what I hated most... because I love-liked it the most."  
  
He raised an eyebrow. "Here's your question, luv. Define "love-liked"?"  
  
"I... got scared. Every time. It was so good, but... I didn't want it to be."  
  
He cocked his head, reached out and gently grabbed her hand. "Scared? Of... me?"  
  
She tucked her chin against her chest. "Of the feeling."  
  
He sucked in a breath. Was this it? Was she going to say it? "What feeling, luv?", he whispered, feeling the warmth of her pressed up against him. Allowing a low purr to start.  
  
She felt tears starting and was embarassed by them. "I didn't want to fall in love with you. I didn't want to feel cherished. I wanted the sex- I never let it be anything else- be so horrible, just once, so I could just... walk away." She shook her head. "I didn't want to feel your warmth."  
  
He actually couldn't breathe, which didn't really matter. "Are you saying that you did? Fall in love with me?" He wiped away a tear from her face. "That you are still?"  
  
She shrugged, staring at him through flooded eyes. "Everytime... it was so warm. I don't know... I just knew that I had to fight too hard to not be." She touched his cheek. "I don't... I don't want to hurt you anymore.. but I don't want to hurt me either. And I can't... do this so fast, Spike. I have to be... be ready, and it'll take time." She looked at him concernedly. "Does that hurt you?"  
  
He held her close, rested his chin on the top of her head. "Not really, luv." He rocked gently back and forth, comforting both of them. "And don't worry about the time thing. I have time. I have forever, I think." A sigh. "I do want to hear it, but only when you can say it and mean it. Not just say it because it's what you think I want to hear."  
  
She glanced at him. "New topic. I'm all ugly and puffy now. Why have you never been like.... really hateful to Giles? You never even tried to kill him."  
  
"You never look ugly to me, luv." He thought for a second. "I don't really know. And I'd like to know why it was so easy for me to accept him as my Dad during the whole Randy incident. I really like Rupert." He ducked his head, embarrased. "There's a part of me that wishes that he WAS my Dad. I kind of wish that I could be like him. Have all the answers. Always be able to help, no matter what. I guess that's why."  
  
She kissed his cheek shyly. "You always do help, no matter what."  
  
"Thanks, luv," he said with a grin. "You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that. I guess it's my turn, huh?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Give me your honest opinion. The old Spike, chip, no soul, versus the new Spike, chip not working, with soul."  
  
She looked confused. "Opinion of what?"  
  
"Me. Which one do you like better and why?"  
  
She thought. For a long time. "I guess.... New Spike is better, because if anything happens to us, we have a good chance of staying in the same place, ya know?"  
  
"Same place?"  
  
She shrugged. "We could both go to heaven."  
  
He was truly touched. "You'd really want to spend all eternity with me?"  
  
"I think I could."  
  
He grinned, and hugged her tightly. "That's one of the reasons I love you, Buffy. You've got such a big heart, that there's even room for a misfit like me."  
  
She hugged him back, softly. "I think we're both misfits. Um... Do... Were you mad when I cut my hair?"  
  
"No. A little... dissapointed that you took away one of my favorite toys, but not mad. Are we doing personal appearance questions, now?"  
  
"Ummm.... ok?"  
  
"Do you like my hair better straight, or curly, and why?"  
  
She smiled, ran her hand through the locks, and mussed them. "Curly. Because that's how it looks after VERY nice sex, not to sound like Anya, and you look at me, and just.. smile. "  
  
He looked at her, and that smile crept out, followed by a chuckle.  
  
She looked indignant. "What?? You asked!"  
  
He chuckled again. "I was just thinking that I like your hair after you've been sleeping on it a couple of hours. It gets all sticking up and cute. Makes me smile."  
  
She huffed. "My hair is not sticky- uppy!"  
  
"Not right now. Your turn, luv."  
  
She sat apart from him a few inches, wrapped her arms around her knees. "What is... the worst thing about me?"  
  
He looked annoyed at the sudden lack of closeness, and then her question registered. "Worst thing? You mean that there's something wrong with you? You're not perfect?"  
  
She rolled her eyes, and pushed out a boot to toe him in the leg.  
  
He playfully grabbed the tip of her boot and shoved it away. "Oh, ok. Let me think. If you'd asked me this six years ago, I could have written volumes. Now... I'd have to say... Your trust issue. You make it extremely hard for anyone to get close to you. But once they are, you latch on like a pit bull, and that's one of the best things about you."  
  
She smiled, enjoying his last part. "Oh."  
  
"Now, same question, about me."  
  
She paused, thought hard. "It's very easy for you to express emotion. But when you realize one... especially towards someone else, you almost expect it to be that easy for them. But you're persistant in it, a big plus."  
  
He grinned. "Ah."  
  
She grinned back at him. "Were you really gonna crack a while ago?" She referred to the 'making him'.  
  
He held up a hand, finger and thumb less than an inch apart. "That close, luv. You really know how to push my buttons."  
  
She smiled seductively. "I know. Were you really gonna kiss me?"  
  
"Walking a fine line, let's just say that. Do I get two questions, now?"  
  
She blinked. "Crap. Yeah."  
  
"Is there anything I do that you find cute? And, if so, why and what are they?"  
  
She smiled immediately. "Your nose twitches in your sleep. And you swear. Uber- mean british swear words. and it's so cute, because you look like you're pouting the whole time. Your bottom lip does this...." She demonstrated with her own, pouting it out in a petulant, sexy way. "...thing-ee."  
  
He looked suprised. "I do? I didn't know that. Do I do anything else that I should know about?"  
  
She smiled, a strictly knowing, female smile. "No."  
  
He made a mental note to reask this question later. "Fair enough. Your turn."  
  
She wrinkled her nose in thought. "What do you think is... like, the... um... sexiest thing about me? If I am, I mean." God, she berated herself. Way to sound experienced and worldly.  
  
He gave her a gentle hug. "First of all, of course you are. Hasn't anyone ever told you that?"  
  
"No?"  
  
"Well here then. You are the sexiest woman that I've ever known."  
  
Her smile was wide, but she tamped it down quickly. "Thank you."  
  
He grinned. "And, to answer the question. You have this... attitude. This feeling of power and strength that just floats around you. I don't know about anyone else, but that does it for me. Also, there's this little thing you do, when you flip your hair out of your eyes. I've always found that extremely sexy."  
  
She nodded, then grinned at him, and flipped her hair out of her eyes.  
  
Spike groaned and layed back, almost causing the Slayer to topple off his lap. "That's it, now look what you've gone and done! You've taken me down with your womanly ways!" He layed his hand across his forehead melodramaticly. And then winked at her playfully.  
  
She gave a small laugh, then leaned forward and kissed him, moving her lips across his, feeling very much a punch of desire, but a warmth that tempered it.  
  
Spike held the kiss for an eternal moment, something to hold on to until the next time, then they pulled away at the same time. "Wow. Thanks, luv. I wasn't expecting that."  
  
She sat on his lap, a bit farther back. "Neither did I. I keep pushing rules."  
  
"I won't tell, if you won't."  
  
She grinned. "We're gonna have to revise the kissing rules."  
  
"Let's put that on the agenda.." He glanced at the horizon, suprised to see the first hint of sunrise. "For tomorrow. We've been playing this game all night!"  
  
She frowned. "I was going to ask you if you wanted to stay the day at the house... I'm sorry. It's a little late now, huh?"  
  
He grinned. "Let me run inside, and grab my blanket, and we'll make a run for it. It's only a couple of blocks, after all. And the sun's got a ways to go before it becomes harmful. We can finish the game at the house, if you want?"  
  
She smiled at him. "Hurry. Dusty Spike is an automatic loser." 


	7. I think I love you.

Authors Notes: The end of this chapter is what every Spuffyer has been waiting for. That's all I'm saying this time. =)  
  
I've been trying to get down To the heart of the matter But the flesh is so weak And the ashes all scatter But I think it's about Forgivness, forgivness Even if, even if You don't love me anymore  
  
It was a couple of days later. Spike had been spending alot of time at the Summers home. At this moment, it's night, and everyone's asleep...  
  
Buffy tossed uncomfortably in her bed. Why was it easier to sleep with him beside her? She finally tossed the covers down and crept to the stairs. She felt like talking to him now. She snorted quietly. She wanted to make out with him. But THAT was against the rules. Damning the rules in her head, she came down the stairs, grabbing a glass of water as her 'excuse' if she -whoops- woke him, she paused at the doorway to the living room. And "Awwwwwed." Then quite felt the compulsion to drool, then smile proudly and say, "Mine." Spike lay curled up on the couch, shirtless and tousled.  
  
No strange dreams this time. Spike was totally relaxed, something that was rare for him since the return of his soul. Maybe it was the smell of the couch. The scent of the Scoobies, of Buffy, Dawn, and a lingering scent of Joyce. It smelled like home.  
  
She sighed as she realized the curling part was due to the no cover part. She laid the glass of water on the table and went to the laundry cupboard.  
  
She took out a warm blanket she remembered her mother tucking around her. She walked to the living room and watched him a moment. Sighing again, she draped it over him, her eyes deftly avoiding where he had unbuttoned his jeans to allow more movement. She tucked it around him, covering his feet especially well, and had to work very hard to not laugh when his feet wiggled in the covers, freeing themselves.  
  
Spike sighed, and gripped the cover instinctivly, snuggling down against the pillow. The blanket too had the scent of home, of family. Of love. He let out another sigh and smiled in his sleep.  
  
Buffy swallowed and smiled, wanting to touch his hair. She gave him one last look and went back to the staircase to go to bed.  
  
==============================================  
  
Buffy looked blearily around her room. When had she fallen asleep?? And what was that smell?? Getting out of bed, unmindful of her sushi jamma pants and white tank, she trooped downstairs, following her nose. Willow was gone, Dawn was gone... Spike was asleep and- She stopped short in the kitchen.  
  
"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, you give love a bad name...", Spike sang, standing in front of the stove, Dawn's portable cd player strapped to his jeans. "I play my part, and you play your game, you give love a bad name.." He hummed along with the instrumental part of the song.  
  
Her mouth went dry, and she felt the urge to laugh at the same time. There Spike stood at the stove, cooking bacon, as unbuttoned, shirtless and curly haired as the night before. Singing along to Bon Jovi on Dawns Discman. She walked up to him, quietly, and ran her hands lightly down his ribs.  
  
"Yah!", Spike yelped, spinning around and throwing a piece of bacon square into the sink. "Slayer," he said, quickly removing the headphones. "Uh, I didn't see you there."  
  
A smile quirked her lips before she bit it back. "No?"  
  
"No. I was.. uh.. making breakfast."  
  
She began to casually bop around the kitchen humming "I played my part-" she stopped. Sniffed. "It smells great."  
  
If Spike could have blushed, he would have. "Oh, so, you heard that, huh?"  
  
She took a rocker stance, belted out, "Darlin' YOU give love... A BAD NAME!"  
  
Spike fought a grin. He was losing. "So, um, I'll take that as a yes."  
  
She gave him a smile, and hit him with her hips to move him away from the stove, she leaned forward to sniff appreciatively.  
  
He did his best to look annoyed. Untill the bacon popped grease onto his back. "OW! Bloody stupid...!", he growled, slapping at his back.  
  
She ran her hand over it softly. "You ok?" She looked concerned. "Bacon grease won't make you dusty?"  
  
He chuckled. "Not unless you've had a preist over here to bless the bacon it won't." He hissed quietly. "Bloody hurts, though."  
  
She frowned softly, and kissed his back gently. She turned him to face the stove and went the the sink, wetted a papertowel with cool water and ran it over his back.  
  
"Cold," he muttered. But that was only to distract himself from the gentle feeling of her lips on his back. "Thanks, luv." He turned around, and removed the bacon pan from the heat. "I still have to do the eggs."  
  
She looked around, feeling kinda wierd. "Can I.. uh... burn toast for you?"  
  
He laughed. "I don't think you can do that, luv. I set the toaster on 'light'."  
  
She gave it a good glare. "It hates me." "Want me to.. " She mimed pushing the button down.  
  
"Go ahead, luv. I'll make sure to save you from the horror of burning toast." He cracked two eggs into the pan with the bacon grease. "They're really good this way, with the bacon stuff on them."  
  
She gave his back a good glare. Shoved toast into the evil toater and rammed the button malisciously. "They're horrible for you. You get fat, and clogged arteries."  
  
"Not me, luv. It's not easy for a vamp to gain weight. It's easy to lose it, not to gain. And clogged arteries wouldn't bother me much, since I don't have a pulse." He flipped the eggs in the pan. "Do you like yours fried or scrambled?"  
  
She arched a brow pointedly and placed her pointer and middle finger against her jugular. She said meekly, "Dippy?"  
  
He glanced over his shoulder. "Beg your pardon? Dippy?"  
  
"Um... yeah. Ya know, dippy. You can put the toast in the yolk, cuz.. it's.. dippy. But all the white has to be done. Because snotty white parts of the egg are soooo gross."  
  
"Oh," he said with a knowing smile. "I'd better pull them up now, then. Personally..", he continued, removing the eggs from the pan. ".. I like them runny, then I eat the whites off, and put the whole yolk in my mouth. Then the warm, goopy stuff flows down my throat. Yum." He licked his lips.  
  
Buffy about threw up on his bare feet. "That's so sick."  
  
He noticed her look. "What? I'm a vampire, what do you want?" He put two pieces of bacon on each plate, removed the only slightly burned toast from the toaster and put a piece on each plate. Then set the plates on opposite sides of the table.  
  
She pointed at the toast. "SEE?? It HATES me!"  
  
He chuckled. "I'm starting to see what you mean." He poured two glasses of orange juice and handed one to her, then took his place at the table.  
  
She sat opposite him, bowed her head a moment, eyes closed, then lifted it, smiled and picked up her fork.  
  
"What do you think?", he asked. He actually looked vulnerable, as if his cooking was as important to him as his poetry.  
  
She dipped her taost into her eggs, pushed around the yolk and found absolutely no snot in her eggs. She smiled widely. "The best most perfect eggs I've ever eaten."  
  
He grinned widely and stuffed a yolk into his mouth. "Thanks, luv," he said around the mouthful.  
  
She glanced away while he did... whatever he did with his nasty eggs and nibbled on her bacon.  
  
He swallowed, then gave her a smile, and dipped his toast in his other egg. Took a bite.  
  
She arched a brow at him. "You like?"  
  
He swallowed. "Good." He shot her a look. "Now didn't we say that we were going to rethink some of our rules?"  
  
She tried to cover her small cough. "Yeah.. absolutely."  
  
"Ok, want me to go first?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
He grinned. "Against my better judgement, I am removing the no tickling rule. Since we've both shown that we're not listening to it anyway." He shot her a pointed look, refering to her way of getting his attention earlier that morning.  
  
She smiled innocently. "Ok. Anymore?"  
  
"Your turn."  
  
She put her fork down. "I want to kiss you."  
  
He cocked his head. "We didn't have a no kissing rule, luv."  
  
She took a deep breath. "I want to kiss you. Not softly, not sweetly. I want to run my hands over your body, feel yours on mine, and brushing my lips across yours once in a while is *not* good for my sleep cycle.l" She looked at him, nervous, jumpy, and worried.  
  
Spike choked on his bacon. "I'm *cough* fine with *cough* that," he said, whacking himself on the chest.  
  
She sighed frustratedly. "You couldn't have said that sooner or anything??"  
  
"Excuse me for choking, Slayer," he said, simi-sarcasticly.  
  
She shoved her nose in the air. "Whatever. Like you need air."  
  
He "humphed". "Nice to know you care."  
  
"I can't *believe* you wanted to kiss me too! The whole time, or just the other night?"  
  
"Every bloody time I'm around you! You just have that effect. The other night, however, that wasn't the only effect that you were having." He got up, put his plate in the sink, and walked into the living room. He sat on the couch.  
  
She sighed slightly angrily, left her plate and stalked after him. "I'm being serious. You felt you couldn't tell me this before? And do -not- walk away from me! I especially don't need that from you!"  
  
He placed his elbows on his knees, rested his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, luv. But after, what happened, I didn't want to push you. I thought it was just me."  
  
She sat on a chair adjacent to the couch. "I redecorated the bathroom. If you pushed me, I'd have hurt you, Spike. It's that easy. I don't think, not even fear a little bit, that you'll d-do that- that again. Ever. I really don't."  
  
He glanced up, tears making his blue eyes glisten. "You.. you don't?" He sniffed. "Why not?"  
  
She considered carefully. "Your eyes. Ever since you came back... They glow. They've changed. And your eyes have never lied."  
  
He ran a hand through his hair, in a vain attempt to smooth out the curls. "Oh. I wish I could see what you see, Slayer."  
  
She frowned slightly. "I wish you could, too. You're... you're a good man, Spike. Screwed up, yes. So have I. So has everyone. But when I look at you now, I can't see... the... the badness in your eyes. I just.. I see you, not some ex-Big Bad, trying to be bad ass still. Just Spike."  
  
He gave a half-hearted grin. "I don't know if I should thank you, or growl at you sometimes, luv. For now, I'll settle for thanking you. I've never met anyone with a heart like yours. You're amazing, you know that?"  
  
She tucked her hands behind her head, and leaned back in her chair, eyes closed. "Yup. I'm the incredible resurect-ee Buffy doll, complete with psychoses."  
  
That got a minor chuckle out of Spike. He layed down, stretching out across the couch. "We all have our little psychoses, luv. Even me."  
  
She cracked open an eye at him. "Yeah.. I saw the whips and chains."  
  
"That wasn't what I meant. I meant like, irrational fears, stuff like that."  
  
"Like what? And for the record, no on anything in that trunk."  
  
He rolled onto his side so that he could see her better. "Well, take me for instance. I have a terrible case of clustrophobia, and a minor case of arachnophobia. And, now, I'm also scared of beetles." He thought for a moment. "I don't think there's a phobia name for that one."  
  
She glanced at him. "Share the clustrophobia. Coffins. Way with the yuck. I'm sure there's a name for the beetle thing. There's a name for people who do trees."  
  
"Yeah, that's where mine came from too. And I don't even have to worry about there being enough air." He glanced at her. "People who what?"  
  
"Ya know... get their groove on with a tree. Called Denderfelia."  
  
Spike shuddered. "I just call that sick. And I should know."  
  
She laughed. "Dang.... a tree is all it takes to gross you out."  
  
He gave her a pointed look. "It's not the tree, luv. I like trees. It's the... other part.. ech." Another shudder.  
  
She laughed. "Ya know what's bad? Dawn told me that."  
  
He cocked his head. "That is bad. And how exactly did she find this out?"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Ya know, I didn't ask. I just kinda sat there, all fishy-faced."  
  
"Kind of like me right now." He growled. "Remind me to ask her later."  
  
She shook her head. "I think some things are better left alone."  
  
He looked at her. "You're probably right, luv. And this is definitly one of those things." He grinned at her. "Is there anything else that you've got a phobia about, Slayer?"  
  
"Clowns."  
  
He laughed. "Clowns? What, did you get that from Harris? How can you be scared of clowns? They're funny."  
  
She gave him a level look. "Clowns are evil. What are they hiding behind all that makeup? And the cars???" She shuddered. "And NO ONE should be able to bend a balloon like that."  
  
"The make-up is to make them look funny. But I'm with you on the cars. The balloon thing, though? I think you need to have that checked out. It could be evidence of somethin' else."  
  
"Thank you, Dr. Phil."  
  
He grinned. "Not a problem, Oprah."  
  
She arched her brow at him. "Oprah?" She pounced on his reclining form. Ran her fingers visciously over his very bare ribs, tickling. "Take it back."  
  
"Ahh!", he yelped. "Never!"  
  
She bit his shoulder lightly, kept tickling. "Never, hmm?"  
  
Spike's eyes grew big as he squirmed. "No!" Another fit of laughter. "You can't make me.."  
  
She was calmly conquering his body with her fingers, then moved up to the undersides of his arms, one had still on his ribs, and she bit his shoulder again. "Come on... Just four little words."  
  
He continued to squirm. How the hell did she know all his weak spots? "I'll never say it!"  
  
She tsk-ed. "Not the four words I was looking for.. Oh, well. Just have to keep tickling you." And she did. "It's a good thing I didn't think of this six years ago. You'd be all dusty."  
  
Spike couldn't take much more, he was beginning to crack. "Stop..", he choked out, practically begging.  
  
She arched her brow, continuing her assault. "Four words, Spike... That's all I need to hear.. and I'll stop."  
  
There were tears streaming down Spike's face, and his laughter was bordering on the hysterical. "I... take..."  
  
She slowed her tickling pace. "Yes..? You take what?"  
  
He let out a cross between a giggle and a growl. "...it.... back," he surrendered.  
  
She sat, kneeling over him, and patted his ribs. She tossed her hair and looked at him triumphantly.  
  
Spike lay his head back, panting. "Bloody hell." He scratched at his ribs. "Now I'm all itchy. And how exactly would you have made me dusty six years ago?" He looked at her curiously.  
  
She grinned, patted his abs again and said, "Easy, tickle tickle tickle, helpless vamp, bam! Stake in heart. Dust-city."  
  
He growled playfully. "That would not have been fair."  
  
The triumph still gleamed in her eyes. "Which is what would have made it so fun."  
  
He "humphed", and crossed his arms over his chest. "Fun for you. And I was not helpless. I could have gotten you off, if I really wanted to."  
  
She nodded. "Yeah. I sensed that amid the helpless giggling."  
  
He growled again. "I was not helpless, or giggling. Dawn giggles. I do not."  
  
"Sure." She wiggled, trying to get more comfortable, forgetting for a moment that she kneeling across Spike's hips. "Cuz, ya know, that was... manly giggles."  
  
He glared at her. "Repeat after me... Spike... does... not... giggle."  
  
"Spike giggles like a girl."  
  
He growled, but he couldn't really get at her, given the possitions that they were in. "I hate you."  
  
She pouted. "Oww." She tilted her head. "Listen."  
  
"To what?"  
  
Her thumb started to rub over her pinky in a circle. "The world's tiniest violin playing 'My Heart Bleeds For You'."  
  
He growled again, but it was more to hide a chuckle than to actually growl. "Cute, Slayer. Really cute."  
  
She grinned happily, bounced cheerfully. "I know. I've been waiting forever to use that one."  
  
This time, he did chuckle. "Whoa, Slayer. Watch where you're bouncing. You might rupture something I need."  
  
Her eyes were genuinely confused. Then a slight pink tinged her cheeks. She scurried backwards. "Whoops?"  
  
He grinned. "Not that I really minded. After all, what did you call me the other night? Perv-o-matic?"  
  
She crinkled her nose. "Yeah, but that was you and-"she shuddered. "Whitewash the mind... whitewash the mind..."  
  
He chuckled again. "Believe me, luv. The mental image is easier to forget than the actual happening." A slight shudder followed this. "But I have learned something from this morning, however."  
  
"Yeah? What's that?"  
  
"Always wear a shirt around you."  
  
She arched her brow. "Why?"  
  
"Makes it harder for you to have access to the extreme ticklish spot that is my ribs."  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Wouldn't stop me."  
  
He thought for a moment. "Maybe I'll wear a thick sweater, and tuck it into my pants, and cinch my belt so tight that I will lose whatever semblance of circulation that I have. Would that stop you?"  
  
She shook her head. "Nope. I'd have to tear it off ya. Get in a good tickle here and there.Besides, like your pants aren't tight enough as they are?"  
  
"..grrr..." That was the only response. That, and Spike tucking his bare feet beneath a pillow.  
  
She looked behind her, caught the movement. "Feet, too, hmmm?" She grinned. "Don't worry. I won't tickle them now. I want to catch you off guard."  
  
He sighed. A mixture of relief and foreboding. "Well, you might as well know. I'm pretty much ticklish to some degree all over." He snorted at himself. "I just had to remove that stupid rule."  
  
She crawled back up him, sitting on his legs. "New rule?" Her voice was serious, and so were her eyes.  
  
He caught the change of mood. "Ok. What is it?"  
  
"You don't ever, ever walk away from me, or turn away from me when we're fighting, or sharing, or.. or anything. If we've got to talk, we can do it to eachother's faces."  
  
"Even if we're embarassed? Even if we think we're going to cry?"  
  
"Not looking me in the eye is one thing. I can't... It makes me want to kick the hell out of you when you just.. walk away."  
  
He nodded. "I know the feeling, luv. There was a time when you were always the one walking away."  
  
"That's fair. I was. But I'm not now. I might back away a little bit. But I don't walk away. Not anymore."  
  
He squared his shoulders. "If you can do it, I can do it. No walking away. Not until whatever we're talking about is settled. And you know your new rule, on account of losing the game the other night."  
  
"Bastard. I can't believe I lost. But yeah... I've lost denial privledges. That doesn't mean you can just ask me things like life is a big game of Truth."  
  
He held up a hand. "True. And, just so it's fair, I'll take away my denial privledges too." He grinned. "I do have one thing to ask you, though."  
  
"All right..." She looked wary. Very wary.  
  
Another grin. A playful one. "You know mine, but I want to be able to defend myself if you pounce me again. So, disclosure: Where are you ticklish?"  
  
She sighed. Groaned. Grabbed his hand. "Here." She placed it on the indent of her hip. He poked experimentally. She wiggled, jerked a bit. "The other is... um... off limits."  
  
He grinned, removed his hand. "Oh. Maybe you'll tell me sometime?"  
  
She gave a half grin. "Probably not."  
  
He chuckled. "Are there any other rules that we need to change? Or new ones to be made?"  
  
"Did we.. officially change the kissing rule?"  
  
He thought. "Actually, I'm not sure what you changed it to. Things got a little confusing after that. What is it now?"  
  
"I.. You know what I want. What do you want?"  
  
He reached over, ran a hand gently down her arm. "Pretty much the same."  
  
Her stomach knotted, released. "Ok."  
  
"How about a rule dealing with... uh..." He cocked his head and scratched at his ribs again. "Hang on. I forgot what I was going to say."  
  
She gave a breathy laugh. "Ok." She kept inching up his legs, back to where she was earlier. Spike had noticed her movement. As a matter of fact, that was what had made him forget.  
  
"Do we have a rule about how far we can go during a kiss?"  
  
"Not all the way. I don't know.. Sometimes, I just... I want to be... held, and sometimes I just wanna be all over you, and... I just don't know. Do you know?"  
  
He chuckled. "I have similar things. There are times that I really need to be held. And there are other times when I have to hold myself back." He gave her a pointed look. "Like the other night on the crypt roof."  
  
She swallowed, knowing she had no idea what she'd have done if he hadn't let go. "Yeah, well, join the club. Self-control isn't something we've been exercising too well."  
  
He snorted. "Tell me about it. I wonder if any other couple in history can say that they have literally brought the house down." He thought for a moment. "Granted, it was abandoned to begin with, but still..."  
  
Her eyes clouded. "I'm not proud of that."  
  
He held out his arms, beaconing for her to lean on him. "Me neither, luv. I was just trying to make a joke. Apparently, it wasn't a good one. Maybe I'll leave the joking to the Whelp."  
  
She slowly lay down on him, her head beneath his chin. "I want to be proud of this... because... the house, the DoubleMeat, the Bronze... It makes me feel ashamed."  
  
He put his arms around her, holding her gently. "To tell you the truth, I don't feel too good about them either. Must be the soul again."  
  
She nodded. "Any more rules on your mind?"  
  
He grinned. "How about that we stay like this forever? Or do you have something in mind?"  
  
She shrugged. "So... kissing rules firmly in place? What about um... touchy, yummy hands rules?"  
  
He chuckled. "Nice choice of words. How about you make this one up? I'm too relaxed."  
  
"Ok... to the waist is fine on me. What's ok with you?"  
  
"I'm in total agreement on that one. Less chance for temptation."  
  
She looked into his eyes, her own slightly hooded. "How much temptation?"  
  
"What do you think?" He shook his head. "Personally, I don't want a repeat of the roof incident."  
  
She shrugged one shoulder. "Doesn't have to be."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
She felt ridiculous. Apparently, Spike wasn't getting the seduction she was attempting. And little wonder. Gotta love the shushi jamma's... "No."  
  
Oh, Spike had caught it, alright. He just wanted to make sure that Buffy really was saying what he thought she was saying. "So, if I were to kiss you, solely for experimental, rule testing, purposes, it wouldn't be too much temptation?" He leaned toward her...  
  
She wetted her lips. "Absolutely not." Her lips parted softly.  
  
Spike leaned in, and their lips met in a whole new kind of kiss. It was intense, yet sweet, holding the promise of more to come. Tentativly, his hands roamed around her back... Her own hands ran softly over his chest, and wonder ran throug her mind. She had actually been afraid that the heat would be gone? God, what was she thinking?? She nuzzled him softly, changing the angle of the kiss. After a moment, the pulled away at the same time. Both panting slightly.  
  
Her eyes were wide, pupils slightly dialated. She closed her mouth, her brow knitted in confusion, and leaned forward, kissing him again. Spike had needed a moment to register what was happening, and he gladly leaned in for another kiss. She may not have said that she loved him yet, but her lips spoke volumes. She pulled back slightly, feathered kisses down his neck. They stalled momentarily at Spike's own scar, the one left from his turning. She kissed it, too, scraped her teeth over it gently, giving it a last kiss before roaming back to his lips. Spike alternately purred and moaned, then quickly met her mouth with his own. His heart felt as if it would burst with joy. This, this had to be what heaven was like. She felt the love pouring from him, his lips. It felt so it ached, in a place in her chest. His mouth was perfect. And hers fit. She gave a small moan.  
  
They continued reaquointing themselves with eachother's mouths and torsos, finally pulling apart and resting their foreheads together. "I love you, Buffy Summers," Spike whispered in a low voice. "So much."  
  
She was pulling in hard breathes. The ache in her heart was growing, and she didn't even feel the tears fall from her eyes to Spike's cheeks. "I - I think I..." Deep breath. "I love you, Spike." Her tears kept falling.  
  
He almost couldn't believe what he had just heard. The compulsion to ask "what?" was almost too strong to ignore. He rubbed his hands on her back, held her close. "Shh, it's okay, luv. Please don't cry."  
  
She couldn't stop. "I can't... I'm... Why does it still hurt?" She looked at him with tear-stained cheeks. "I'm still confused."  
  
"Confused about what? What hurts?" Now Spike was confused.  
  
She put a hand where Spike's heart should have been beating. "It still feels tight... like it's gonna bust." She snuffled once. "And why am I crying?"  
  
Spike sniffed. "I don't know, but I think it's contagious." A tear ran down his cheek, mingling with hers.  
  
She gave a half laugh and laid her cheek against his. "I thought... I thought figuring it out would... would make it clearer.. but I still have no idea where we're going."  
  
He nuzzled her. "Neither do I. But I do know one thing."  
  
She looked in his eyes, begging reassurance. "What?"  
  
He hugged her gently and nuzzled her again. "Wherever we're going, we'll get there. Together." 


	8. Taken.

And now, ladies and gents, we're gettin into the plot bunnies. Two more chaps tomorrow. YAY! *blows kisses* Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews!  
  
Always. Tequila.  
  
Buffy walked slowly to the cemetery, knowing she had been avoiding Spike. In fact, she thought it was a damn good reason. "I mean," she spoke aloud, "we're all with the smoochies, and hugs, and the 'I think I love you's', and soon enough, we're, or at least, I'm on my back again and that's not a place we want to be." She paused, twirled her stake. "I mean, *yeah*, but... *No*. And..." 'You're scared,' pulsed through her mind. "I am *not* scared," she snarked at the thought.  
  
She was at his crypt, and she knocked dutifully. Waited. No answer. Not a stir from within. She sighed. "I'll never turn my back again," she mimiced. He was mad. Fine. She could deal with that. But damn if she'd deal with the silent treatment. "Spike!" She swung open the door. Perusing the top quarters, Spike wasn't there. She wasn't relishing the thought of going downstairs to a nakee-Spike. Not too much anyway. She approached the ladder and crept down. "Spike?"  
  
There was a sound from below, but it wasn't a British voice. "Purrrrooow?"  
  
She snapped her head to the bed, where the noise originated from. There was a large black cat with white paws, chest and chin sitting on the bed, tangled in the covers. She smiled. "Hey, Kitty... You must be... Harmon?" She approached it slowly, sticking her hand out, smiling nicely.  
  
The cat yawned, showing fangs that rivaled that of his owner, and Buffy noticed a purple collar with white paw prints, and a gold tag in the shape of a heart. "Meeeoowww?" The cat walked to her, purring loudly, and rubbed his head in her hand.  
  
She snickered softly at the heart and purple collar. "Hey. I'm Buffy." She scritched behind his ears. "You've got big teeth, buddy. Are you sure Spike didn't turn you?" She sat gently on the bed.  
  
The cat purred even louder, and tipped over, offering his belly like a dog. "Rooowwrr?"  
  
Buffy made an 'Awwww' face, and started to rub its tummy. "You're such a nice cat. Why would Spike call you a pain in the ass?"  
  
Harmon reached up with his front paws, gripped her hand, and pulled it to his mouth, gently biting it. A love bite. Buffy was in love. She leaned down and kissed its head. "You are a charmer."  
  
The cat waved his paws for a moment, then rolled over and walked up to the head of the bed. He reached his head under a pillow, and pulled out something old, ratty, and orange with black stripes.  
  
She followed the kitty to the head of the bed and carefully examined the abused material. "A tigger!" She looked more carefully, brought it to her nose. It smelled like Spike.  
  
"Merowr." The cat nuzzled the stuffed Tigger.  
  
She looked at the kitty questioningly. "Do you sleep with it, or Spike?"  
  
By way of an answer, Harmon turned his back on the Tigger, walked up to the pillow, turned around twice, and flopped onto his back again. "Purrrrrrr."  
  
She laughed. "Spike sleeps with a Tigger." She laid her head down on the pillow opposite the kitty. "You are quite the kitty." She scritched its head. "Do you wanna come sleep at my house?"  
  
Harmon reached out a paw, gently touching her face with the pads. "Purrrrr."  
  
She made a helpless noise. She felt like going and liberating a litter of kittens at a poker game, in hopes of finding one like this. "So, where is your master, or owner, or... I dunno what you call him- that guy that feeds you?"  
  
The cat's ears suddenly perked up. He gave an excited "Rower!!", and jumped up and ran off into one of the tunnels.  
  
"Hey there, Harm," came Spike's voice. "How you doin', boy. Here, I brought you a catnip mouse."  
  
"Merowr!"  
  
"I'd pick you up," Spike continued. "Except that I can't really bend over right now."  
  
Buffy sat on his bed, propping herself up on her elbows and waited for him to come in. Was highly intruiged by his last statement. The cat galloped back into the main area, a small catnip mouse clutched in his teeth. He jumped back up on the bed, and put the mouse in Buffy's lap.  
  
She smiled, put the weight on one elbow and patted him. "Hey boy. Spike bring you something nice?"  
  
It was then that Spike finally made an appearance, limping in from the tunnel that the cat had just vacated. "Buffy."  
  
Her eyes immediately lost their shine, and her hand stilled on Harmon's coat. Very cooly, "Spike. What the hell did you do?"  
  
Spike walked a little farther in, trying unsucessfully to hide his limp. "Nothin', really." He set a small PETCO bag on a sarcophogus.  
  
She nodded. "Ah.. the semi-annual sale at PETCO.Should have known. Those ferret owners are viscious." Her tone was mild, but her eyes were snapping.  
  
Spike chuckled quietly, avoiding eye contact. He removed his jacket without thinking, revealing the large blood spot on his left side.  
  
She coldly and efficiently removed Harmon from her lap. "Sit down." The order was sharp.  
  
The cat "rowr"ed again, and proceeded to rub against her back. Spike slowly sat on the bed, still avoiding eye contact.  
  
She gripped her hands on the neckline of the tee-shirt, knowing it was a lost cause, and just ripped it open. "I don't know what you were doing. But when I find out, I'm kicking your ass." She gingerly touched the seeping wound on his left side. "What did you do?"  
  
"Finished something," he said through clenched teeth. "And bought cat food."  
  
She glared as she went to get the first aid kit in the mini-kitchen. "And just *what*," she slammed it down on the chair she dragged next to the bed, slammed it open, "did the magnificent, omnipotent, immortal Spike finish?"  
  
He looked at her. Chose to ignore the sarcasm. "I got rid of an annoying demon."  
  
She opened the antiseptic swabbed it on delicately, as opposed to her desire to run the swab roughly over his torn skin. "And what demon couldn't wait for backup to prevent this ass-kicking?" She was muttering words she bet Spike didn't know she knew, giving him baleful glances and touching the wound, gaging its depth.  
  
"It was the last of it's pack." He winced at her touch. "Ow."  
  
Harmon worriedly walked over, purring and rubbing his head on Spike's other side.  
  
She gentled her hands, even though she hadn't been really hard to begin with. "Sorry. What kind? We need to tell Giles to cross one off the list." She ran her hand over the abrasions and contusions on his abs. She'd disinfect those, too. If only for her peace of mind.  
  
"Uh, Tralfgar," he said quietly. The cat was out of the bag, so to speak.  
  
Her hands stilled from placing the guaze over the cut on his side. "Excuse me? Because I KNOW you are not stupid enough to say 'Tralfgar', indicating that you are stupid enough to face one on your own."  
  
His nostrils flared. "At least I only faced one, not three like someone who shall remain nameless."  
  
She stood, towered over his sitting frame. "I am the Chosen. Ok? I die, they'll just bring me back again. And that is NOT the point. I didn't go SPOILING for a FIGHT!" She gave the side of his head a rather sound smack, but not before she was sure that he hadn't sustained an injury there." She knelt again, grabbed the guaze. "I don't wanna talk to you. Lift your arm."  
  
He obediantly raised his arm, muttered. "I wasn't looking for a fight. I was getting some stuff for Harm, and there was this demon in the alley behind PETCO, that was bragging to a couple of vamps that it had single- clawedly made the Slayer run like a little girl. I stuck up for you, dusted the vamps, turned to walk away, and the thing attacked me."  
  
She held the guaze to his side, but looked him in the eye. "I don't need you to defend me. We don't care what they say, ok? As long as it doesn't end in 'apocalypse', we have no interest in what they say."  
  
"It was making fun of you. I hate people or things that make fun of other people." He growled.  
  
She began taping it up. Looked at the neat bandage, and sighed. "You stick up for any underdog you want to. Not me. It's... I appreciate it. Really. But I don't care what they say about me. I kill them, anyway, sooner or later." She kissed the bandage and lowered his arm. "Are these on your stomach the last of it?"  
  
"That, and a gash on my hip. But I can take care of that."  
  
She cocked her eyebrow and said, "And how 'bout that, so can I, and I don't have a huge gaping wound on my ribs."  
  
"Yeah, but-"  
  
She was still irate. Not, irate exactly, but her temper was still high. "What did I say? I'm not talking to you."  
  
He attempted to get up, but his hip gave out, and he sat back down.  
  
She began cleaning his abs gently, first with water, then with the anti- septic. She moved to his other side. "Let me see."  
  
He hissed. "That stuff bloody stings."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "This from the man who just got his ass kicked by a Tralfgar demon?" She kissed above his belly-button anyway. Because that's what you did when you fixed someone up.  
  
Spike gave a little chuckle at the unexpected kiss. "For your information, the demon is dead. I kicked IT'S ass."  
  
"Hail the conquering hero. Quit stalling. Let me see your hip."  
  
He sighed and stretched out on his uninjured side, loosening his belt and sliding one side of his jeans down past the wound. He growled in pain as he peeled the fabric away from the torn skin.  
  
Her breathe caught as she looked at it. The blood was already drying, and the cut was jagged. When he had pulled his jeans away, it had torn parts of the wound open again, steadily seeping blood.  
  
Spike made a sound that was a cross between a growl and a whimper.  
  
She stomped to her feet, stalked to the fridge, and tore it open. Pulling out a gallon of O-Neg, she dumped some in a mug and tossed it in the microwave. As she waited for it to heat, she grabbed the paper towels. "If you *ever* do this again, I will kick your ass. In fact... I'm kicking your ass when you get better."  
  
"Just as long as you fix me up afterwards, luv."  
  
She stalked back and forth between the microwave and fridge, waiting it to beep. She glared at him as she whipped the mug out. "Don't crack jokes at me." She shoved the mug into his hands, and started to soak up some blood with the towels, then moved to disinfect it.  
  
He winced again. "Sorry, luv. I seem to have really bad timing with the jokes lately." Took a sip of the blood.  
  
She cleaned it gently, trying to school the fire in her eyes. Failed. "Drink more." She blew on the cut softly, hoping to diminish the pain.  
  
Spike swallowed most of the mug obediently. Craned his head over, looked at the wound. "Ouch. Makes me glad I'm not human. I'd be in the hospital."  
  
She frowned at it. "Maybe Giles should put a couple stitches in it."  
  
He flinched. "Stitches? Like with needles? Uh, no thanks. Super healing powers go with the vamp package." That didn't sound too childish, he thought. Yeah, right. Bloody wanker.  
  
She took his mug, refilled it, sprinkled a few marshmallows she saw in a bag in it, and pushed it in the microwave. "Sissy. We could get you drunk first, if you really needed to."  
  
"I am not a sissy," he said indignantly. "I'm not scared of anything."  
  
The microwave beeped, and she retrieved the mug, bringing it to him. "Good. Squash that spider to your left for me."  
  
"SPIDER!?", he yelped, looking around with wide eyes. "Where?" He noticed her look. "Ha ha, very funny, Slayer. Remind me to take you to the circus to meet the clowns sometime."  
  
She shoved the mug at him. "More drinking, less talking." She finally decided that he wouldn't accept stitches, she she bandaged it as carefully as she could, liberally slathering the bandage with that triple antibiotic cream.  
  
He looked at her, hoping that her anger had passed. Then he looked at the mug, grinned at the marshmallows, and took a big drink.  
  
Buffy went to his bureau and took out a pair of soft flannel pajama pants and a tee-shirt. "Here. I'd scrap the jeans."  
  
He drank the last of the blood. "Thanks, luv. Good idea." He accepted the soft pants and the shirt. "Uh, do you want to turn your back? Or what?"  
  
She scooped up Harmon, and turned her back. "Sorry. Do you... um.. need help with anything?"  
  
He sighed. "I don't think so. I'll tell you if I find something I can't do."  
  
Harmon purred and began nuzzling her under the chin. She smiled fondly at the kitty, and returned the favor scratching him under the chin. She said quietly, "How's my handsome man?" She rubbed her nose to his. "How's my handsome man?"  
  
Spike glanced over his shoulder, and avoided an embarrassing answer by noticing the cat's tail sticking around Buffy's side. Yeah, right, Spike, he thought. Like she'd really say that to you.  
  
She continued in a slight, 'I'm talking to a baby' voice. "You watch out for Daddy Spike."  
  
He finished changing clothes and turned around. "Daddy Spike?" He sat on the bed, noticing the Tigger for the first time. He quickly grabbed it and stuffed it back under the pillow.  
  
She turned, pretending not to notice that he stuffed the Tigger under a pillow. "Sorry. I get carried away. I like Harmon." She handed him to Spike. "Can you... walk, stand, ok?"  
  
Spike gave the cat a little hug and was rewarded with a loud purr. "I think so, but perhaps sitting would be better for now." He grinned down at Harmon. "Noisy little bugger. Likes being cuddled."  
  
She nodded in agreement. "Can you stand up for just a second?"  
  
He nodded and stood up, still holding Harmon. The cat "rowr"ed and nuzzled the vampire's chin.  
  
She grabbed the waistband of his pants, stretched the elastic carefully and brought it dangerously low on hips, revealing the whole bandage on his hip. "There. Now if it bleeds through, you won't ruin another pair of pants."  
  
Spike made a strangled sound. "Uh, but what do I do if my pants fall down?"  
  
She arched her brow at him. "They shouldn't. I have pants lower than that."  
  
"Yeah, I've noticed.." He backpedaled. "Uh, that is... Oh, bloody hell." He sat back on the bed, putting the cat down. Harmon promptly walked over and pulled the Tigger out from under the pillow again.  
  
She gave Spike an easy out. "Aw. did you find Harmon a toy to sleep with? Cuz, I read somewhere that cats, when they're little like to have something that can be warmed to cuddle against."  
  
He chuckled, not buying that she believed him for one second. "Yeah, you know cats. They drag all sorts of things home. Like trophys to show you. Heh."  
  
She nodded blankly, willing to 'buy' anything he said tonight. He'd had a rough one.  
  
He leaned back and layed down. Harmon immediatly grabbed the Tigger by the ear and dragged it up next to him. Then the cat climbed up onto his chest, purring again. Spike looked at Buffy. "Uh, he must think that I want this for some reason." He waited, expecting the mutual "no denial priviledges" rule to be enforced.  
  
She sighed and shook her head. "I sleep with a stuffed animal, too, Spike."  
  
He glanced at her, defeated. "Yeah, but you're not over a hundred and twenty years old. It's embarrassing. Please don't tell the others."  
  
She wanted to 'aww', but quelled the urge, knowing he was slightly shamed. She pulled the covers over him, and gently kissed the place she'd smacked earlier. "I promise."  
  
He smiled and clutched the Tigger to his uninjured side. "Thank's, luv." He raised up slightly. "You're not... leaving? Are you?"  
  
She was. She was gonna go, and run, and get away, and, "No. Not leaving."  
  
He relaxed again. "Good. Want to lie down? Plenty of room." He glanced at the cat that was now on the pillow next to his head. "Assuming you don't mind moving a certain furry thing."  
  
She smiled, sat on the other side of the bed, slowly laid down. She only pushed Harmon down to cuddle to her stomach, since she was laying on her side. One half-roll and she'd be on her butt on the floor.  
  
The cat happily purred, curled up between his best non human friend, and the new girl that he really liked. Spike absently stroked the cat with the hand that wasn't occupied holding the Tigger.  
  
She sighed, stroked Harmon. "I just... Are you.. tired, Spike?"  
  
"A little, luv. Hard day, you know." He smiled at her. "How was your day? You never told me."  
  
She grinned. "I have found a shampoo that will triumph over the Double Meat stench. So I bathe in it, too, now."  
  
He yawned. "You mean, like, put the shampoo in the bathtub? Doesn't that make it a bubble-bath?"  
  
She sighed at the thought of her last bubble bath. "Yeah... that'd be nice." She glanced at him. "I'm still not talking to you."  
  
He chuckled. "Could have fooled me. Then who are you talking to? Harm?"  
  
"Purrrrow?", the cat said, hearing his name.  
  
She pulled her new hairy friend away from Spike's hands and nuzzled him. "Absolutely. We're going out tomorrow."  
  
Spike sat up, then layed back down at the searing pain in his side and hip. "You're taking my cat? Where? You'll bring him back, right?" Vulnerable, big blue eyes look.  
  
She sighed at her own weakness, and reached over to brush his curls back, even though they weren't anywhere near his eyes. "I'm kidding Spike. Harmon wouldn't leave you anyway. And if you move before I check on you tomorrow night, I'll never speak to you again."  
  
Spike smiled. "What, and disobey my favorite nurse's orders? Never."  
  
She hmphed. "You better not." She lay her head down, and felt very comfortable. Which made her uncomfortable. She so scootched back some more. "Go to sleep, Spike."  
  
"Buffy..." He was looking vulnerable again. "You're not really mad at me about the demon, are you?" He tentitively reached out a hand, releasing the Tigger in favor of touching Buffy's arm. "It's the other day that's bothering you, isn't it?"  
  
She pouted her mouth out. "Yes, Spike. I really am mad. And yeah... Well, I mean... "  
  
"You don't have to say it again, you know. I mean, if you don't want to. I'm fine, really..." The look in his eyes wasn't as convincing as his voice. Love starved.  
  
She sighed. "I meant what I said. I think I might be in love with you. But I just... I don't... " She sighed.  
  
"Might? Oh. Okay. I see."  
  
She reached a hand to his cheek, hoping he wouldn't pull away. "You're special, and beautiful, and kind." She said calmly, almost casually, "And I will kill whoever touches you that isn't me."  
  
He leaned against her hand. "I prefer "devilishly handsome"," he said with a half grin. "Oh, so are you going to kill Harris? Since he hit me before?" He wagged his eyebrows at her.  
  
She said softly, "Anya notwithstanding, I will kill the next female who thinks you're open."  
  
He grinned, cocked his head sideways. "So, are you saying that I'm taken? As in, that we are a couple?"  
  
She felt like stuttering. "I... do you... wanna be a couple?"  
  
"Only if you do."  
  
"Well, I do if you do."  
  
They stared at eachother for a moment, then both started laughing quietly. "Well," Spike said after a minute. "Here we go with the tap-dancing around eachother again. Seems like we're always dancing one way or another, right, luv?"  
  
She frowned lightly. "Yeah... we always are. I have a new rule for you, Killer."  
  
He chuckled. "Oh? What?"  
  
"You wanted to be an official Scooby. Remember that?"  
  
"Yeah." He reached over to the nightstand and picked up his keys. There was a new keychain in the shape of Scooby-Doo. "I've got proof of my status."  
  
She laughed. "Yeah, well, Scooby, no Scoobies go out on their own. So you can't either. Which means no killing without backup."  
  
"So I have to wait for one of the others before I go to the store? You don't do that." He put the keys back on the nightstand.  
  
She said sternly, "I'm the slayer."  
  
"And you could have walked away. You didn't have to dust vamps, or kill a demon. You could have waited." She said quietly, "You should have."  
  
He reached out, gently cupping her cheek. "I'm sorry, Buffy. It's just old habits. I'm used to killing on my own. I've... I've never had anyone who cared enough about me to help." He withdrew his hand, lay his head back. "Not even Dru. She'd jump to help Angelus, but not me. Never me. She didn't even care." A tear slid down his cheek.  
  
She scooted closer, wiped his eyes gently. "I don't know. I just think she's a bitch. But I care. We all care."  
  
He snorted. "Are you saying that the Whelp cares what happens to me?" His tone was flippant, but his eyes said otherwise.  
  
She smiled softly. "He did what I asked him to, didn't he? He didn't really go and stake you did he?"  
  
"Yeah, but that's you looking out for me. If you hadn't been there, I would've been dust." He gave a rueful smile. "The only three of you that like me are you, Dawn, and Red."  
  
She shook her head. "I was in no shape to stop him if he really wanted to kill you. Anya likes you fine."  
  
"Anya doesn't count, she's an auxilery Scooby." He glanced away. "Uh," he said quietly, head down. "What about Rupert?"  
  
Her own head ducked. "I'm sure that he'll-"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
She rubbed a hand at the back of her neck. "I'm sure ya know, when I get to tell him-"  
  
"You haven't told him yet!!", Spike started. "You said that you told all the others."  
  
"I-I did!" She said. "I told all the Scoobies at the meeting and-"  
  
"Rupert's a Scoobie! He's bleedin' Fred! He doesn't know?" Spike put a hand on his side, wincing when the physical effort of yelling reopened the wound.  
  
She started to get anxious, for his own well-being. "He's like... he's like my dad! And STOP yelling! I just can't-" she lowered her head. "I didn't ever want to disappoint him. And I know that would."  
  
Spike froze. "Disappoint him?", he said quietly. "I knew it... he hates me. He's... he just... his opinion matters alot to me. And he hates me."  
  
"No! No, Spike... That's not what I meant. I just meant... Giles knowing my sex life? Knowing what we- we did? That I hurt you, used you, and you-"  
  
He raised his head. "Wait a minute. You're worried that he'll be mad at YOU? For hurting ME? Uh-uh. Not going to happen. If anything, I'm going to have to run when he hears about it. He'll try to kill me!"  
  
She sat up, curled herself in a ball. "Maybe. We never- I couldn't tell him."  
  
Spike sat up slowly, ignoring the pain from his wounds. He rubbed a hand on Buffy's back. Harmon meowed and dragged the Tigger into the Slayer's lap, trying to help. "Do you, do you want me to tell him?"  
  
She cuddled his Tigger. "No. Absolutely not. He doesn't- I don't want him to know."  
  
"Wouldn't it be better coming from one of us, than if one of the others lets it slip? Like Anya? Or Xander?"  
  
She looked down. "They won't ever say that- they'll never say. Only Xander and- and Dawn know."  
  
He shook his head. "Wait a minute. You said that you told Willow. And I know you mentioned that Anya was there." He looked at her. "What really happened?"  
  
She stiffened her back slightly. "Xander found me. And- and Dawn found your jacket. They swore to not tell the others. I don't.. I dont wanna talk about this anymore. The point is that Giles doesn't need to know."  
  
"Fair enough, Slayer," Spike said, adding a mental 'for now'. "What would you like to talk about then?"  
  
"How you're going to promise me to not go off on your own anymore. And how nice your nap is gonna be."  
  
"I promise. But I'm not sleepy."  
  
She was quivering, and needed to escape. She was gonna cry, or scream, or both, but she needed out. Maybe his- "Yes you are. You need rest so your body can heal. Do you... um... have a bathroom?"  
  
He looked at her, gauged her nervousness. "Yeah. Go down that first tunnle. There's a door in the wall. Brass doorknob. You can't miss it."  
  
She stood, made a quick exit. Standing in the tunnel, she opened the door, and found a pretty nice bathroom all in all.  
  
"Merow?" Harmon said. The cat had followed her.  
  
She let the cat in, locked the door behind them. Sat in the corner and shook.  
  
Harmon didn't understand what was wrong with his human friend. But he wanted to help. He walked over and nuzzled her gently.  
  
She scrubbed her hands over her arms harshly. Looked at the cat. Stopped rubbing at herself to run a hand down his coat. "I need a bath," she told him. "I hate... I hate talking about that... I feel dirty, and... horrible, and-"  
  
"Purrrrr."  
  
She had never allowed herself to dwell on it before. Never been pressed for details. Finally, she was purging herself of it. She set the cat down, and leaned over the toilet, knowing she was going to be violently ill. Ten minutes later, using a washcloth to clean her mouth, and composing herself, she walked out, Harm in tow.  
  
The scene that greeted the human and cat was suprising. Spike was curled into a little ball on the bed, his shoulders violently shaking, crying against the Tigger. There was a splat of what looked like regurgitated blood on the floor next to the bed.  
  
She froze in the doorway, not sure of what to do. She walked slowly to the other side, crawled on the bed behind him, and pressed herself against him, her front against his back, and began to murmur comfortingly.  
  
Spike barely noticed the Slayer's presence. He was trapped, trapped in the memory that their conversation had brought up. "No, nonononono...", was all he kept muttering.  
  
"Spike. Spike." She kept saying it over and over, hoping it would penetrate soon. She laid her cheek against his, prying his hands away from the Tigger, wrapping her own around his. "Stop it. Stop it, Spike. I forgive you."  
  
The shaking slowly stopped, and Spike became aware of Buffy's presence. There were alot of things that he could have said at that point, but all that came out was, "I'm so sorry..."  
  
"It's... It's... I forgive you."  
  
"Thank you..." He leaned against her, pulling in deep, shuddering breaths. Unnessisary as they were, they still served to calm him. "Bloody stupid soddin' soul," he muttered.  
  
She wove their fingers together, leaned against him. "You would care even if you didn't have one. Dawn told me she saw you after it. Can we not talk about it anymore? We don't need to."  
  
"You're right, luv," he said, his voice a little scratchy from the tears. "I think... I think I'll take that nap, now."  
  
She nodded, and relaxed behind him. "Mind if I stay with you?"  
  
He smiled shakily. "Actually, I was going to ask you to. When you're around, I don't have nightmares."  
  
She grinned. "I sleep better, too." She kissed his back. "I should call, let them know where I am."  
  
"Phone's on the nightstand, next to my keys."  
  
She turned him toward her, cuddled into him and said, "Maybe when we wake up.." 


	9. Blood and Bandages.

Ok, our lovelies, here we go, chapter 10. I just want you all to know how much we appreciate the reviews and constructive criticism. To Dawnie, your chapter is gonna be like.... 29 or thirty. I love you girl. : ) All disclaimers apply, Joss has evil lawyers that eat girls like us for lunch. We just wanna have a little nakee play with James. (not... together, tho... Seperately. cuz... the three thing? Nuh-uh. Just gross, thank you very much. I don't share well.)  
  
Always. Tequila  
  
Spike awoke to the curious sensation of a scratchy wet thing rubbing his nose. He opened his eyes to see that Harmon was licking his face. He smiled and started to reach up and brush the cat away, but something was holding his hand. It was then that he realized that there was something warm, curled up against his back. And the scent that was particularly Buffy was wafting through the air. Spike realized with a shock that Buffy was wrapped around his back, her arm around his waist, holding his hand. He could feel her warm breath on the back of his neck, and a wave of contentment washed over him.  
  
Buffy felt Spike stir. Closed her eyes, feigning sleep. Then stopped. She gripped his hand more tightly. "Morning."  
  
Spike rolled over as best he could with a Slayer cuddled against his back. "Mornin', luv. How'd you sleep?"  
  
She sighed deeply. "Mmm... Pretty good. You?"  
  
"Best sleep I've gotten in months." This was followed by a wide yawn, ending in a quiet purr.  
  
She gave a half smile. "How's your side and hip feel?"  
  
He wiggled around a little, testing the wounds. "I think the side's all better..." He winced. "But the hip's gonna take awhile."  
  
She frowned. "I want to look at it again."  
  
He chuckled. "Just can't wait to get your hands on me, eh, Slayer?" He raised an eyebrow playfully.  
  
She swatted gently at him.  
  
He chuckled again. "Alright." As much as he didn't want to, he rolled over onto his stomach, dislodging Buffy from his back. This also put the injured hip on her side.  
  
She glanced at the bandage, saw blood dried on it. She peeled the tape off slowly, trying not to reopen it. She winced and let out a small moan.  
  
Spike flinched. "What? What is it?"  
  
She said softly, "It hasn't closed at all. It's gonna take a while for it to heal."  
  
Spike swiveled his head around, trying to see. "That can't be good. I thought I was supposed to heal fast... unless Tralfgor demons aren't poisonous, are they?"  
  
She shook her head. "No... They gashed my back. It healed." "It just took about a week."  
  
Spike let out a snort. "Great. So you're saying that I'm basically confined to quarters for a week?"  
  
"Yup. Get comfy."  
  
"Perfect." He growled. "I'm bleedin' trapped."  
  
"Basically. Harm will keep you company."  
  
He gave a little shudder. "I hate bein' trapped. It's like being in that cage back at the Initiative."  
  
She carried the kit and mug back to the bed, handed him the blood, and started to re-dress his hip. "You're not trapped. It's like... vacation. I'll rent movies for you, and you can watch Passions, and do your nails, and play with Harm..."  
  
He grinned. "Could you and Dawn maybe come over for awhile? We could watch the movies together."  
  
She grinned. "I'm sure Dawn would love to, but Buffy has overtime Doublemeat Duty. I can come over when I'm done, after a quick sweep, though."  
  
"You shouldn't be working at that crap trap."  
  
She sighed. "Get over it. I have. I'll come over on one condition."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I won't have time to shower before I come, so I wanna bring a few towels, shampoo and soap so I can shower while you and Dawn are here. It'd just make it easier. Maybe a change of clothes, too."  
  
He pointed at the bureau. "Why don't you just pick a drawer, put my stuff in a different drawer, and put your stuff in that one? It could be your own personal drawer."  
  
That was... a step... She shifted. "Sure. I'll probably just do it when I get back one night." She placed the tape over the bandage carefully.  
  
"Great. Maybe I'll invite Clem too. He and Dawn seem to get along really well, and he likes you."  
  
She nodded. "Whatever makes you more comfortable."  
  
"I'm comfortable with you, and Dawn. Which reminds me, didn't you say that you wanted to call the others? Tell them where you are?"  
  
"Oh, shit!" She scrambled for the phone, dialed hastily. It picked up on the first ring. "Hi, Dawnie..." She glanced at Spike. "No... No! We didn't.... I mean... we did, but not.. like that. Spike got beat up last night by a goonie, and-" Buffy smiled. "He's gonna be just fine. He's inviting us over for movies this week. I'm sorry. We just... fell asleep, and I forgot to call and- Yeah... I know I'm grounded." She hung her head. "I promise to never not call again."  
  
Spike chuckled. "While you're at it, say, "I promise, mom". "  
  
Buffy started sputtering. "I- Dawn! Ewwww... where do you- oh, gross, I don't want to know. No, we didn't have crazy monkey sex."  
  
Spike choked.  
  
"Fine. I'll be home. Whenever I want to! That's when!"  
  
Spike continued trying to hold back the hysterical laughter that was threatening to escape his marginal control.  
  
"No, you can't go to Janice's. Because she's a skeazy skank, that's why!!"  
  
A snort escaped Spike's twitching lips.  
  
She glanced at Spike. Glared. "Because I am your guardian, and if you don't want to go live in a foster home where they can't love you half as much as I do, you'll stay home!"  
  
"She could come here... If she wants," he offered.  
  
She shook her head. "I'm sorry, too. Did you do the dishes or the laundry?" She cocked her head. "Then why are you even asking anyway? It's no until they're finished. I did appreciate you taking out the garbage last night. It made my day. Yes, really. Ok... ok. I love you, too. Bye." She hung up the phone and sighed.  
  
Spike finally let out the laughter that had been threatening to escape since that "I'm grounded", comment.  
  
Glared at him. "You try to raise a 15 year old. I'm grounded, three days. Full chores."  
  
"Aww. Does that mean that I have to change my own bandages?"  
  
She said petulantly, "I'm the grown up. I get to pick when I'm grounded."  
  
"Then shouldn't you be able to unground yourself?"  
  
She brightened. "Yeah! Whoooo-hoo! I'm ungrounded!" She snorted, "Crazy monkey sex my butt."  
  
He laughed. "Two things. A: Do you realize how disgusting that sounded? And B: Did she really say that?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, and yes.... She said, and I quote, 'If you were gone all night having crazy monkey sex with Spike, don't even bother coming home, because I'm not speaking to you. Cuz it's like.. gross.' End quote."  
  
He chuckled. "Yep, that's my Lil' Bit."  
  
She sighed. "Yeah.. I promised to go patrolling with her tonight."  
  
He growled. "You'd better go with her. No way is she going out there alone."  
  
She arched her brow. "Um... ok... Dawn can patrol on her own. She does if I get sick."  
  
His eyes got wide. "No she can not. She's only 15!"  
  
Buffy said softly, "She's a scooby. Kinda like Scrappy. If she can slay, she can patrol."  
  
Spike sat up. "If she's Scrappy, and I'm Scooby, then it's my job to make sure that she isn't the one who get's SPLATed."  
  
Her voice snapped. "Lay back down. I am her guardian, Spike. I know what's best for her. I appreciate your faith in me and my decisions."  
  
He laid down obediently. "Look, luv. It's not that I don't trust your judgment, it's just... I had a little sister too, you know."  
  
She began putting the gauze and tape back in the box mechanically, looked up. "I can tell. Spike, she's not normal. She's.. the key. Which gives her my strength, my energy, and with a little work, my speed. She isn't the next slayer, but she lives in a hellmouth. She can- wants to help me."  
  
He nodded, understanding. "I know, luv. I get it. I just,.. I like having someone to look after. If Dawn starts patrolling on her own, then she doesn't need me anymore." He closed his eyes.  
  
She closed the box, feathered a kiss across his cheek. "Of course she does. She needs you, and me, and all the Scoobies. We just have to be non-chalant in our looking-after." She said, slightly enviously, "Besides, who does she come to first, when she needs to complain or talk about something? You."  
  
He looked at her. "You know that she loves you, right, luv? You're her sister, her family. I'm just, well, basically her dog. Someone she can talk to that will listen no matter what, but I'm not family. You are."  
  
She smiled sadly. "You really believe that, don't you? I know I'm her family. So is Giles. And Xander, and Willow, and Anya like.. a weird aunt or something. You're like... her big brother and best friend rolled into one person. She can depend on you, tell you anything, and know you'll protect her. She loves you. Because you're family. Because family is more than blood."  
  
Tears came to his eyes. "Big brother? Me?" He thought for a moment. "So, all of us, we're a family? Even me? Even if Rupert and Harris don't like me?"  
  
She nodded. "And Giles likes you. But you and me- we're not family."  
  
"What are we, then?"  
  
"Ex-lovers with potential?"  
  
He grinned. "What kind of potential?"  
  
"All kinds of potential. Cuz if we were family.." She leaned over his reclining frame, kissed him softly. "This would be weird..." Kissed him again.  
  
He reached up, wrapped his arms around her, pulled her in close, and returned the kiss, with interest. She returned the interest, molding her lips to his, careful to keep her roaming hands away from his wounds. He purred into her mouth, and released for a moment to leave a trail of gently kisses down her neck. He encountered the scars from the Master and Angel, and alternately nuzzled and kissed the sensitive skin near them. Her breath was uneven, shaky, and she trembled as his lips took her neck. He made a different path on the return trip to her mouth, trailing kisses up her throat and under an ear, before returning to her mouth earnestly. She sighed as he kissed her again, her hands in his hair, down his shoulders, moving restlessly against him. Her mouth moved over his, nipping and licking gently, sucking one lip playfully before claiming his mouth again. Buffy felt Spike's hands creep over her back, and she arched into them, running her own fingers through his hair.  
  
Their make-out session was suddenly interrupted by a British voice loudly proclaiming, "Get your filthy hands off her!"  
  
Buffy sat up like she had been shocked, dismayed to see that she was now kneeling over Spike's lap. "Oh, God," she whimpered. "Gi-Giles...."  
  
Giles cross the room with speed that a man half his age would have envied. He drew his fist back and clocked Spike square in the jaw, sending him falling off the bed.  
  
Buffy promptly panicked. "What the hell are you doing??"  
  
Giles ignored Buffy and proceeded to pummel Spike with everything he had. He kicked Spike hard in the ribs, right were the newly closed wound was. Spike howled in agony, but Giles wasn't deterred. "How DARE you touch her, you animal!!"  
  
She began pulling at Giles, screaming at Spike, "Fight back!" Then wailing, "God, Giles, STOP IT!"  
  
Spike curled into a ball, attempting to protect his wounded side and hip, both of which were beginning to bleed right through his pajama pants and shirt.  
  
Giles got off a hard kick, and there was the sickening crunch of breaking ribs mixed with another howl from the vampire.  
  
She yanked on her Watcher hard enough to pull him back from Spike slightly, enough to slide her body between theirs, laying over Spike protectively. She put her hands over his head, sheltering his body from the blows with her own.  
  
Giles froze, staring down at his Slayer protecting the very vampire that he had rushed across town to save her from.  
  
Spike was shaking beneath Buffers body. His blood began to seep into her clothes. She was murmuring to Spike softly, apologies running from her lips with every breath. She felt the blows stop and she looked at Giles, unaware tears had stained her cheeks. "What the hell is wrong with you??"  
  
The Watcher stood, still staring at his Slayer. "I was protecting you. Xander said... Spike was... That he was... That he raped you."  
  
She closed her eyes, pained. "He wasn't- he didn't- well, he almost, but-"  
  
The Watcher's eyes flashed.  
  
She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "We don't... We don't have time for this. Go. Get... find material... We have to... We have to take care of him." She looked down at the vampire beneath her. "Spike?"  
  
Spike was still shaking, his eyes closed. A huge bruise was quickly forming where the Watcher's fist had met his jaw. She ran her fingers gently over his face, concern making her shake, but steadying her mind at the same time. "Spike... do you have another first aid kit, or... or cloth?"  
  
Meanwhile, Giles was stunned. "You want me to what? After what he did?"  
  
She sighed, frustrated. "You got old news, Giles, and I will NOT sit here and explain it to you until you help me take care of him." One hand cupping Spike's cheek, she looked at her watcher, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Giles... Please." There was desperate entreaty in her voice. "Please."  
  
Spike raised a shaking hand, still not opening his eyes, and pointed to a sarcophagus. "Th- there. First a- aid kit."  
  
Giles gave one last look at the Slayer and vampire, then walked over and retrieved the first aid kit, handing it to Buffy.  
  
She looked in the sarcophagus, found an extra set of sheets for the bed, a plain, rough cotton. She tossed them at Giles. "Start ripping"  
  
Without a word, Giles began ripping the sheets into strips, perfectly sized for bandages.  
  
She pulled the flannel pants down so she could see his wound. It had stopped gushing, but there was a steady blood flow. She applied pressure, trying to get it to stop. "Spike?"  
  
Spike responded by opening one eye, and looking at Buffy.  
  
She almost whimpered at his beaten visage, but her face reflected nothing but fierce determination. "You need to keep talking to me. I want you to stay awake, ok?"  
  
The vampire's voice was scratchy. "Why? Earlier... wanted me to sleep."  
  
She had bandaged his hip quickly, efficiently. She straddled them now, to touch his ribs as softly as she could. Let out a small laugh. "Yeah, I did. You never do listen when I talk. Tell me when it hurts, ok?" She moved from the top of his ribs slowly down, feeling each one, around and straight across. When she touched the broken rib, Spike half growled, half screamed in pain. She winced slightly but continued down until she reached the end of them.  
  
Spike opened both eyes and glanced around, locking on Giles. There was a flash of anger, and then fear as the Watcher approached him. But Giles was only handing more bandages to his Slayer. Still, Spike stayed tensed.  
  
She looked at the object of his distress. "Go get me blood, warm it. Only fill it 2/3s of the way. I want the rest to be whiskey." She looked at the vampire. "Spike.. I want you to cough."  
  
"Why?"  
  
She glared at him. "Can you just do it?"  
  
He inhaled slowly, every inch his dead lungs expanded making the rib ache even more. When he had filled his lungs sufficiently, he let out an explosive, and extremely painful, cough.  
  
She reached a hand up, opened his mouth and swept two fingers at the back of his tongue and around his throat.  
  
"Uh choo ooin?", Spike asked. Meaning What you doing?.  
  
Pulled them out, looked at her fingers and let out a shaky laugh. "You didn't puncture a lung." She called over her shoulder, "Giles... he didn't puncture a lung!"  
  
"That's good," Giles said as he returned, carrying the mug of warm blood and whiskey. Spike winced as Giles handed it to him.  
  
She started to slide the cotton strips under his back as gently at she could, getting ready to wrap his ribs. She frowned. "Giles, you need to put a pillow on your lap, and support his upper back and head. Help him drink. It'll make his ribs easier to wrap, too."  
  
The Watcher let out a exasperated sigh, but did as his Slayer asked. Spike stayed tensed. There was no way that Rupert was catching him off guard again.  
  
She gave Spike a small smile. "God, you're ugly. Relax and talk to me. Giles will not hurt you again." She arched a brow at her watcher as she began to tie a row of knots down Spike's rib cage.  
  
Giles looked down at the agitated vampire in his lap. "Calm down, Spike. You heard Buffy. I promise not to hurt you again."  
  
Spike relaxed slightly. Buffy would protect him, after all. "What are you doing now?"  
  
She saw his eyelids start to droop and said loudly, in a whiny tone. "Wrapping your ribs. And it's hard when there's no one to talk to."  
  
Spike put a hand over one ear. "Ow. Sorry. Uh, but why can't I go to sleep? I thought I'd heal faster that way."  
  
"Yes, and not wake up. How lovely. I don't know how vampires work, but people call having your head smashed violently into the ground and hit repeatedly a concussion." She repeated it slowly. "Con-cush-unnn. Say it with me."  
  
Spike chuckled and instantly regretted it, as the movement caused a painful clutch in his side. "But I'm already dead. What's the worst that could happen?"  
  
She had forgotten about his side. She swore. Began unwrapping his ribs so she could bandage his side. "Well," she huffed, "I would be extremely bored on this my-what- third time at the wheel o' life?"  
  
"You could turn to dust, or go into a vampiric coma," Giles supplied.  
  
She glanced worriedly at her watcher. "They do that?"  
  
Giles gave her a reassuring smile. "It is a defense mechanism when they don't have enough food. They basically sleep for as long as their human body fat will allow, and then wake up in a blood rage. A vampire in that condition will bite anything that moves. Even a swaying tree. I've actually seen it. But it wouldn't happen to Spike, because he's eating."  
  
Spike's eyes got wide, and he gulped the rest of the mug of blood.  
  
"But it's just... it's not... blood, blood." She had fixed his side and was once again wrapping his ribs. She smiled at Spike. "Well, you kill a traflgar demon, but manage to get your ass kicked by a lovely British gentleman. And here I am again. Fixing you. Didn't I say I'd kick your ass if you did that again?"  
  
Spike grinned. "Yeah. But in my defense, I didn't go out on my own. This "gentleman" came to me!" He reached up and gently tapped Giles on the shoulder in a playful manner. Then paused, wondering if he had gone too far. His concerns were allayed when Giles playfully squeezed his neck, sending a shiver down the vampire's spine. "Hey! Quit it, Rupert."  
  
She snapped at both of them, "What? Not enough horseplay for one day?? I will knock both your heads together!"  
  
Spike and Giles both looked ashamed. "Sorry," the two Brits said in unison.  
  
She glanced at Giles as Spike looked on the verge of sleep again. "Should I- I mean... would my-my blood help him?"  
  
Giles' eyes widened, and Spike started awake. "Uh, that's not a good idea, luv," the vampire said.  
  
"But, it'll jumpstart your healing... Not a lot," she implored of her watcher. "Just.. just a little."  
  
"Buffy," Giles began. "You really shouldn't." He looked at Spike's empty mug. "But you can get him some more from upstairs. This seems to be gone." He looked down at Spike. "What, do you have two stomachs?"  
  
Spike just grinned.  
  
She gave Giles a small grin. "Please, keep him awake."  
  
"How do you propose that I do that?"  
  
She took Spike's mug and headed upstairs for a new jug of blood. "Talk to him... Spike, explain Passions to Giles."  
  
Spike brightened. He looked up at the Watcher. "Well, you see, it started a couple of years ago...."  
  
Giles gave Buffy a look that said "Please hurry!"  
  
She scampered upstairs, looked for the jug and found it in a mini-fridge. She pulled up her dark tee-shirt, the long scratch down her side she had gotten at the cemetery just healing. She scratched at it, but it refused to bleed. She looked around, trying to remember any other recent wounds. None. She picked up a small paring knife off the counter and unbuttoned her jeans. She slid them down, and bracing herself, made a cut on her upper thigh. Shuddered as she made it deep enough to bleed. She held the mug to the cut, letting her blood, her life spill into it. She waited as long as she could, then slid a tissue over the cut, holding it in place while she slid her jeans back up. She buttoned them and filled the mug the rest of the way with the blood from the jug. She came downstairs, heated it quickly, and came back to her watcher and vampire. She handed it to Giles, motioning for him to help Spike drink.  
  
Giles nodded, and gently poked Spike's neck, drawing his attention away from where he had been petting Harmon. Spike accepted the mug and took a sip, then another, and another. Then his eyes got wide, and he stared at Buffy, saying nothing as he slowly finished the mug.  
  
She avoided his eyes, instead focusing on putting another layer of cotton strips over his ribs to re-enforce the first layer, making his torso stiff, harder to bend, so the healing would be quicker, neater.  
  
The trio entered a strained silence that was broken when Harmon meowed for Buffy to pick him up. She picked him up quickly, stroking his fur, her gaze unfocused.  
  
Harmon knew there was something weird going on, but he couldn't figure out what. All he knew was that his owner kept staring at the nice girl, and the mean man didn't look at anyone. "Purrrouw?"  
  
It broke her out of her reverie. "Giles, we need to-" To what? "To get him on the bed. Make him comfortable."  
  
Spike looked around. "I thought I was comfortable." He shot a pointed look at Buffy. "You know, I don't usually eat so much."  
  
She hugged the cat to her chest, kissed its head. "Giles can't sit here for a- however long it'll take, and the floor will get cold. You need... your strength up. You should eat a lot."  
  
Giles and Buffy helped Spike to his feet, and carefully guided him over to the bed. Buffy arranged the covers around him, tucking him in carefully. Once they had him settled, Giles looked to Buffy. "I'm going to get back to the Magic Box. Are you coming?"  
  
She shook her head. "No. Will you-" she snagged his hand, "Will you just.. sit with me for a little bit?"  
  
The Watcher smiled at her, and glanced at Spike. "Certainly." He pulled a chair over and sat next to the bed. "I'll stay as long as you need me."  
  
She stood while she let Spike drift off to sleep, noting the time, and reassured herself she would wake him in an hour, every hour. She climbed into Giles' lap, and rested her head on his shoulder.  
  
Giles gently put his arms around his Slayer, rocking her slowly back and forth. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, so as not to wake the vampire.  
  
She nodded her head, accepting his words. "I'm sorry I haven't- explained anything to you."  
  
"It's not your fault. I suppose that I should have made sure of the facts before I rushed over here." He gave a little chuckle. "Especially since the 'facts' came from Xander."  
  
She smiled ruefully. "Yeah... That's a good indication that the facts could be wrong." She leaned up, kissed his cheek. "That was very heroic."  
  
He laughed quietly. "I saved you from... What is Spike to you, anyway?"  
  
She laid her hands over Giles', where they were wrapped around her. "I love you. I want to say that first. I never want to disappoint you, and I- I love you."  
  
He smiled at her. "I love you, too, Buffy. It's almost like... like you're the daughter that I never had." He hugged her gently.  
  
She scrunched herself against him in the best backwards hug she could manage. "You *are* the dad I never had. But Spike... Spike is.. was... he's my ex-lover."  
  
He nodded. "I know. You told me as much when we were in the back of the Magic Box a few months ago, after he disappeared for awhile. When Willow was.... you know. After Warren was killed."  
  
She ducked her head. "I... I know... I had... broken up with him. And one night, he was so- sad, and, broken, and he- he wanted me."  
  
"He attacked you." It was not a question.  
  
Buffy wouldn't-couldn't- defend that action. "Yes. I- I stopped him. He never- He didn't-"  
  
"But he would have, Buffy." Giles said with a shake of his head. "If you hadn't been able to stop him, he would have. He made his intentions clear."  
  
She was silent a long time. "Maybe. That Spike might have. And he left. And when he came back, he was different."  
  
"The soul."  
  
She shrugged. "That was part of it. Even before the soul, after he- when I stopped him from- His eyes, Giles. They didn't look like a demon's. They looked like a guilt-ridden man's."  
  
Giles looked at her. "But he couldn't feel guilt, Buffy. A vampire, without a human soul, can not feel guilt, or shame, or anything like that." He looked at the slumbering vampire on the bed. "And yet.. I wonder.."  
  
She looked at him, her eyes shining, "What do you wonder?"  
  
Giles shook his head. What he was considering made no sense, and it went against everything that he'd been taught as a Watcher.  
  
She laid a hand on his arm. "Da-Giles... please." Her eyes were welling, and she prayed that he would share with her, not let her be alone.  
  
He sighed, repeated what he'd said earlier. "A vampire without a soul can not feel guilt, shame, remorse, or grief. And yet, when you were... gone... I would often find Spike crying up in your room. Or him and Dawn sleeping on the couch, holding a jacket, or shirt of yours. Many a time I saw him pacing in front of your grave, yelling at himself for failing you." Giles looked at his Slayer. "That doesn't sound like a normal vampire to me."  
  
She buried her head in his chest. "He's not. He's- I was so scared that you'd kill him."  
  
Giles hugged her again, and started rocking once more. "I intended to. But when I saw you, huddled over him, protecting him, I knew that something that Xander had said must have been wrong." He looked at her. "But I am wondering. If Spike is nothing more to you than an ex-lover, why protect him like that? I could have hurt you."  
  
She looked her watcher, her surrogate father, her support, and best friend in the eye. "Spike and I are involved." She ducked her head, finding she had the courage to say the words, but not see the disappointment in his eyes. "And I think I'm in love with him."  
  
Giles cupped her chin, raising her eyes to his. "You're in love with him?" The look in his eyes wasn't *exactly* what she'd thought it would be. He actually looked... interested?  
  
Buffy looked down, then up, down, and finally glanced in his eyes, her version of stuttering. "I think so."  
  
"When did you figure it out? If I may ask." He gave her a soft smile. "And what kind of 'involved', are the two of you?"  
  
"When I realized that when I was sleeping in an immortal enemies arms, and didn't once dream of a coffin. When I found out he is ticklish, when he talks to me in his sleep." Her eyes got large. "We have... have rules. We don't... we're not involved like- like that."  
  
He smiled at her, hiding a chuckle. "I know. But I do have to ask you something."  
  
Her eye peeked up at him. "Huh?"  
  
He reached down, playfully grabbing at a sensitive spot on her side. "Spike's ticklish?"  
  
She squirmed, gave him a baleful look, then confided, "All over."  
  
Giles chuckled. "Now there's something I didn't know."  
  
She nodded. "I didn't either. It was a lucky guess." Her eyes drifted closed, and her head nodded on Giles' chest. She snapped back awake. Looked at a clock. "I need to- to wake him. Make sure he's ok."  
  
Giles helped her stand up. "By all means. Uh, how do you wake the dead, anyway?"  
  
She was slightly embarrassed to have Giles watching her do this. She leaned close to him over the bed, ran a hand down his arm. Whispered softly, "Good morning..."  
  
Spike lazily opened one blue eye. "Mornin', luv," he responded reflexively. It was getting to be a pattern. He stretched slightly, then winced. "Ouch."  
  
She smiled happily. "Yeah. Ouch."  
  
He yawned, showing fangs for an instant, but gaining control quickly. "What'd you two do while I was asleep?", he asked with a nod in Giles' direction.  
  
Her hands grew suddenly restless. She tugged on the covers, pulled them to his neck, then down, straightening. "We... talked."  
  
"'Bout what?"  
  
Giles hid a chuckle with a cough.  
  
Without looking at her Watcher, she responded quickly, "Everything. Now, I just woke you up to make sure you would- ya know, wake up. So... go back to bed."  
  
He glanced around, confused. "But I'm already in bed. And I'm not sleepy anymore."  
  
She frowned. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"You need more blood. You need to get better. I'll go.. get you another cup."  
  
He gave her a look. "Oh, I think I've had enough."  
  
"It'll make you better. Drinking." She licked her lips. "Want water?"  
  
Spike just looked at Buffy, his eyes speaking volumes.  
  
Giles glanced at the two of them. ""If Spike is going to be staying up, then I'd best be off. I left the Magic Box short-handed when I stormed out."  
  
She jerked slightly, almost forgetting about Giles. "Of.. of course. Can you have Dawn call the DoubleMeat, tell them there was a medical emergency? I won't be able to make it in for a few days?"  
  
"Certainly. You have three vacation days with pay saved up. Want me to call them in too?"  
  
She nodded. "Yes, please."  
  
Giles nodded, then started up the stairs, paused, turned around, walked back, and hugged Buffy. "I love you. Remember that."  
  
She hugged him back, fiercely. "I love you, too, Da-Giles. I love you, too, Giles."  
  
Giles whispered in her ear, still hugging her tightly. "If you want to call me 'dad', I wouldn't say no."  
  
She looked at him shyly. Whispered, "I love you, Dad."  
  
He hugged her again. "I love you, Buffy. And I'll never be disappointed in you. Please don't ever hesitate to tell me anything. Ever. Okay?"  
  
She nodded. "Ever. I promise."  
  
A quiet sniff sounded from the bed, and the pair looked over to see Spike wiping tears from his eyes. He had obviously heard all that. Damn vampire ears.  
  
Giles stood next to the bed, and placed a comforting hand on Spike's shoulder. "And you, just concentrate on getting better. No more fights." "Okay," Spike agreed, fighting a sudden urge to hug Giles.  
  
She gave a soft laugh. Blinked back her own tears, and gave Giles a final kiss on the cheek. "Go on. I'm sure the Magic box is tumbling into despair without you. Hurry."  
  
Giles made his exit with one last wave to the pair.  
  
Buffy stood, her eyes fixed on the ladder till she heard the crypt door shut. She jerked towards the small kitchenette. "I bet you're thirsty.. I can- get you some water." She grabbed a glass and turned the faucet on, filling the glass.  
  
"Just make sure that it comes from the proper place."  
  
She grinned, seemingly oblivious. "How silly. Of course it will." She took a long drink of the water herself, then filled the glass again.  
  
"No running out to a stream, or trying to get it out of a glacier." He stared at her back. "I know what you did."  
  
She kept her back to him. "I'm just getting you water, Spike, I don't-"  
  
"The blood," he growled, attempting to sit up. "Your blood."  
  
She still didn't turn. "Lay back down."  
  
"No denial privileges."  
  
She turned slowly, her eyes cool. "It's just blood, Spike. My body makes more."  
  
"That's not it, Slayer. I won't drink it again. If I'd refused before, then Rupert would have known that something was wrong, and I didn't want him mad at you."  
  
"And I won't have you turn to dust. So you'll take what I give you."  
  
"I'll heal without hurting you."  
  
"I just opened a recent wound, Spike. It's not a big deal-"  
  
"You cut a hole in your leg with a paring knife. I smelled it when you did."  
  
Her stomach jumped. "Come on, Spike. I don't cut myself. You might have smelled the blood-"  
  
"Then bring me the knife."  
  
She rolled her eyes rather convincingly. "What *knife*, Spike? Why don't you just lie back down and-"  
  
He growled, sat up further, ignoring the stabs of pain from the wounds. "*The* knife. The paring knife that I left on the counter from when I ate an apple earlier."  
  
"Fine. Just... lie back down. I don't want you hurt anymore than you are."  
  
He reclined against the pillows, still watching her closely.  
  
She went back up the ladder, pretended to hunt around the top half, snagging a wet paper towel and the knife, wiping it clean while she 'searched'. "I can't- oh! Found it!" She tossed the towel back in the garbage and came down with the clean knife. "This it?"  
  
He took the knife, looked at it, turned it over and looked at it some more. "Looks clean." He glanced around. "Where's Harmon? Here, kitty kitty kitty!" Obediently, the cat leaped up onto the bed. "Hey boy, what do you make of this?" He held the knife out for the cat to sniff.  
  
She glanced at the cat, giving it a 'vibe-warning'. 'Don't betray me', she prayed.  
  
Harmon sniffed the knife for a moment, then looked straight into Buffy's eyes. "Meroow?" He walked over, sat next to her, and placed a paw on the spot on her thigh that she had cut earlier. "Rowr."  
  
Spike just looked from the cat to Buffy and back again. "I don't suppose you'll drop your jeans if I ask nicely."  
  
She had almost winced when the cat laid its paw on her. "Probably not."  
  
He looked at her sadly. "Why'd you do it, luv? I'll be fine in a few days. You know it."  
  
"I didn't know!" She exploded at him. "I didn't know. You were still, and... quiet, and... Do you know how much blood there was everywhere?" She shook her head. "You don't. I do. I cleaned it all off you. I had to be calm, and in charge while you were drying up. My blood makes you strong."  
  
"And losing it makes you weak!"  
  
She shrugged, her actions still understandable in her mind. "If it took my blood to heal you faster, there wasn't a decision to be made."  
  
He just looked at her. Apparently, he wasn't getting through. "Ok, what if I told you that Slayer blood does other things to vampires? Particularly males."  
  
She shrugged carelessly. "You're in no position to hurt me. I could restrain you easily enough."  
  
He snorted. "Bloody aphrodisiac, that's what it is."  
  
She wasn't getting through to him, either. "If I was... ill, and you had something that could make me better, faster, would you give it to me?"  
  
Didn't even blink. "If you needed my dust, I'd stake myself over a jar."  
  
She could have screamed. "Then WHAT is your problem!!??"  
  
"Because if I'm here or not doesn't matter! You do. You're the Slayer. You have your little family to look out for. What do I have? A cat. The world wouldn't lose much if I was suddenly gone, but it would end without you." He looked at her, pleading with his eyes. "Please, luv. Just say that you'll never do that again."  
  
"It matters to me! You have the same family I do, and damnit don't demean yourself." She shook her head. "I can't. If you got hurt again, I'd do it again." She sighed, exasperated. "I'm not saying everytime you stub your toe, I'm gonna- reopen a wound, but when it comes down to it, Spike, if my blood will save you, I'll hand it over in a chalice."  
  
He sighed, realizing that there was no changing her mind. He held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, luv. Okay. You win." He looked at her curiously. "I mean that much to you?"  
  
She half-laughed, half-sobbed. "I told my "dad" I had sex with you. What do you think?"  
  
He reached up, put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't cry, luv. Please?" He sniffed. "You'll get me started again, and I'm running out of liquid."  
  
She sniffed hard once, and pulled away from his hands, walked back to the sink. She took the water and handed it to him.  
  
He smiled at her, and downed the water in one gulp. "So, what did you and Rupert really talk about while I was visiting the land of the unconscious?"  
  
She surveyed him. He was still too pale- even for a corpse. His eyes had a sunken look that she didn't appreciate, which made his puffy bruised jaw look disproportionate. She wondered if he would smell just a few drops of her blood in the next mug she gave him. "Everything. You. The bathroom. Me. Him. Your soul."  
  
Spike made a choked sound. "Me? What about my soul?" His eyes got wide. "I"m not going to lose it, am I? Cause I'm sure as hell not going through the trials again."  
  
She shook her head. "No. Just... your soul. And how you're not a typical vampire."  
  
"Uh, thanks? I think."  
  
She decided that if he didn't look better that night, she would slip him just a touch more of her blood. "It was a compliment."  
  
"Oh. And what else?" He was genuinely interested.  
  
She shrugged. "How much he loves me."  
  
Spike smiled. "He would have to be deaf, dumb, blind, and stupid not to love you. You just seem to have that effect on people."  
  
She grinned, tossed her hair out of her eyes. "Yeah. I really do." She laughed.  
  
He chuckled, noting happily that it didn't hurt as much. "Yeah. You even wormed your way into the stony heart of your mortal enemy. Namely, me."  
  
Buffy blinked sweetly and blew him a kiss. Then looked at him carefully. "Are you... sure you wouldn't like some more blood?"  
  
He smiled. "Not right now. I would like to know what Rupert had to say about me." He got quiet. "Does he... hate me? For what happened?"  
  
She shook her head thoughtfully. "He would kill you for me. That was clear. But he sees how you've changed. He doesn't hate you."  
  
He sighed. "That's good. And what else did you or he say about little vampy me?"  
  
She swallowed. "He wanted to know how.. involved we are. Because, of course, he would walk in when we were the most involved we've ever been..."  
  
"And you said?"  
  
"That we don't- That we have rules."  
  
He nodded. "That explains the lack of him trying to kill me after I woke up." He cocked his head at her. "But I sense there's more. What else?"  
  
She licked her lips, curled back into the chair she and Giles had shared. "I told him- what I told you. That I- I might be falling in love with you."  
  
Spike just smiled at her. "Might be?" Cocked an eyebrow playfully.  
  
She gave a slight laugh. A half smile. "Did you hear him, Spike?" Buffy said in wonder. "He said I could never disappoint him."  
  
He grinned at her. "Yeah. But I already knew that. He loves you, Buffy. And a little thing like sleeping with a vampire? Pfft. That's old news to him. He loves you unconditionally. Like Dawn does, like all of the Scoobies do." He glanced down at the sheets. "Like I do."  
  
She smiled, wanting so badly to say, "I love you, too", but slow... slow. "Dawn's has a condition."  
  
He looked up. "Oh? And what might that be?"  
  
"Uhhh.... I believe it's called the 'Hurt Spike and Die' clause. Very serious, involves high frequency screeching and odd green glowing."  
  
"Are you trying to say that you think that she loves me more than you!? Uh- uh. No way. You're big sis. And her love of me has a 'hurt Buffy and dust' clause."  
  
She grinned. "Well, then, I guess we're doomed to forever not hurt eachother."  
  
Spike chuckled. "I think I can live with that. But anyway, what would the Lil' Bit do? Tickle us to death?"  
  
"Ha. Probably." Her eyes turned serious, inquisitive. "Spike?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can you- can you tell it's my blood rushing in your veins? What does it... feel like?"  
  
He paused, reflected inward, thought for a moment. "It's hard to describe. But it's almost like I can sense the emotions that you were feeling when you cut yourself. That's actually how I knew about the paring knife. I can almost see it. But it's like it's headed for *my* leg." He looked at her. "This happens from time to time with all vampires. You're supposed to ignore it."  
  
"It doesn't hurt, does it? Because then, you guys wouldn't feed... Or is it with just a lot of blood? Can you feel it with just a tiny bit?"  
  
He shivered a little. "That's why you're supposed to ignore it. Feeling the prey's pain, their fear when you bite. It'll scare you to death. It even happens to me with cow's blood. And yeah. Sometimes, the blood from the butcher is from two or three different cows at once. And I can feel them. How scared they were when the bullet went through their heads..." He trailed off, staring at the wall. Refocused on her. "It's almost enough to make you give up Big Macs. Bad attempt at a joke."  
  
She grinned softly. "I got it. What if.... you get someone who is giving blood out of love? Can you feel that, too, or does it hurt?"  
  
He smiled at her, almost shyly. "Yeah. You mean like you did? That would explain this wonderful, warm feeling. It's new."  
  
She smiled at him. "What if there's only a few drops, and a lot of other blood. Does the other blood overpower the few drops?"  
  
He knew what she was trying to do, but didn't want to let on. "Let me put it this way. In that last batch of butchers blood, I got three cows, two pigs, a goat, and a chicken. The cows had been wondering what was for dinner, the pigs lived with a bunch of geese, the goat had recently eaten a pair of boxers, and the chicken crossed the road. Does that answer your question?"  
  
She frowned, lost in her own musings. "Yeah..." Maybe by the time he noticed, he'd have already swallowed it. Or she could dilute it with water, then mix it with the blood.  
  
He looked at her, sighed. "Luv, please don't do it again. I recovered from that beating the hell bitch gave me without your blood. I think I can recover from being kicked by a British gentleman."  
  
Her eyes jerked to his face. "I- That's not-" She gave him a good pout. "Giles is very strong."  
  
"I have a connection to you now, luv. For the next few hours, I'll be able to sense any powerful thoughts or feelings that you have. So don't even bother trying to dilute it, or try to slip it past me."  
  
Her eyes met his, and she tried to block her thoughts. "That's weird. Stop it."  
  
He chuckled. "I wish I could. You think I like knowing that you told Rupert that I'm ticklish... Wait a minute. That was private!"  
  
She gasped. "Stop it! Those are my thoughts!! Get out! And it's... um... community information, now...." She laughed softly.  
  
He rolled over painfully onto his stomach, and stuffed his head under a pillow. "Oh, no. I hope he doesn't tell anyone else."  
  
"I don't think he will. I think he feels kind of sheepish about beating the stuffing out of you."  
  
He pulled his head back from under the pillow. "He *did not* beat anything out of me. I wasn't ready. If I'd had a moment to prepare, I'd have kicked his ass."  
  
Spike chuckled. "I just had a thought. I wonder if you can read me too. I've never been close to someone who's blood that I'm carrying."  
  
She tried to focus. "How do I try?"  
  
He laid back, closed his eyes. "Just search your mind for a thought that doesn't feel like you. I'll make it easy." He concentrated, sending a picture of Mr. Gordo dancing a waltz with his Tigger.  
  
She concentrated, too, saw a hazy outline of her pig dancing with his tigger. She focused on it till it became sharp and clear in her mind.  
  
"Well?"  
  
She felt like she could walk around the image, seeing them from all angles. Like she was walking in his mind. "Mr. Gordo and Tigger," she answered absently.  
  
He kept his eyes closed. "Good, you're in. The next thing you should get are my emotions."  
  
And she did. Warmth slid around her, a soft love, and an uneasy ripple. He was as nervous as she was.  
  
"If you bring up a picture of a person, you should be able to get my feelings on them." He tried to keep the nervousness out of his voice. He'd never done anything like this before. Not on purpose, anyway.  
  
His mind was alight with images and colors. She figured that the colors stood for something, for in a corner, bathed in black shadows was Cecily, and... oh, gross. He had lied. He had kissed Angel, once. Dru stood by, watching. She turned away quickly, to a see a blue haze, Spike, and William bent over notebooks... peace. She focused on his words, because all the colors and images were getting overwhelming. She brought Dawn to the fore. She was bathed in a pink light, and protective waves poured off her area.  
  
Spike relaxed a little at the image of Dawn. His Niblet. He purred softly, still in the trance.  
  
Her mind brought forth Giles. He was swathed in an almost violet-blue light. Royalty, something reminded her. Respect. Care. 'Father', the unspoken word floated though their shared minds. 'Mine too'.  
  
A smile curved her lips. Yes, father.  
  
She wondered if she was pushing it, and thought intently of Xander. He was bathed in a cavalcade of colors, and words came flying at her. Idiot, frustrating, care? care. Loyal. Worry. Anger. Peace, irritation.  
  
'Don't tell him', more words floated past, Spike's voice. 'Like him... sometimes.'  
  
'Lips are sealed,' she answered.  
  
Spike relaxed even further, if that was possible. He brought up Willow... allowing his mind to do what it would. She was in a greenish light, but there was a shadow behind her. It was the dark Willow, with black hair and eyes. But she was in a cage. Spike's feelings bubbled up: Caring, understanding, friendship, and a minor point of anger. 'Holding back', he said to Buffy. 'She's strong.'  
  
She reached out a hand to touch her friend, her own mind bathed her in red. Protective, fierce love. 'She'll be ok... Eventually, we all will.'  
  
'Yeah. I know. Now'  
  
As much as she enjoyed this, her whole body was shaking. 'Now what?'  
  
'Pull back, if you want. Find thoughts that are yours alone. Cling to them, let them pull you back.'  
  
She shook her head. Pulled one last person to the fore. 'Walk away... I want to do this one alone. Search my mind for someone, if you want to.'  
  
'Okay'. Spike occupied his time shifting through Buffy's thoughts of Joyce. Her memories of the person he had loved so much. He was unaware that his physical body was crying.  
  
Buffy waited till she couldn't feel his presence, and pulled Druscilla to the fore. Forever having a tea party. She stared intently at her. Her light was green. And darkly shadowed. She felt pain, and happiness, and confusion from her. But she felt no love. She let Druscilla drift back to her place near the shadows.  
  
'Ready now?', Spike's disembodied voice floated around her.  
  
She saw herself close to the fore. And walked purposefully away from it. That was not hers to observe. She focused on Mr. Gordo, sleeping with him in third grade at a sleepover. 'Got my thought. You?'  
  
Quiet music floated around. 'Think of a wonderful thought, any happy little thought'. Spike's laugh floated around her. 'Yeah. See you in a moment'.  
  
She drifted back to her body, her eyes opening sleepily. Her body shook, head to toe.  
  
Spike's eyes opened, and a similar shiver ran through him. That was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He looked at Buffy. "You okay, luv?"  
  
"I think so... I think I need food." She stood, wobbling slightly, and toddled to the fridge.  
  
He rocked back on the pillows, and patiently waited for her return.  
  
Her stomach bubbled uneasily, so she discounted food and settled for another glass of water. Got comfortable in her chair.  
  
Spike waited, but she didn't say anything. So he broke the silence. "So, what'd you think of my mind, luv? Find anything that you didn't already know?"  
  
She gave him a measured glance. "That maybe I shouldn't have lost 'Deepest Secret'. But that's it."  
  
He chuckled. There was almost no pain that time. "I still would have been two points ahead of you, Slayer."  
  
She sniffed superiorly. "But I bet I could have scored three points off you if you had been honest."  
  
He play growled. "In what universe?"  
  
She tapped her chest. "Mine, buddy."  
  
"And I was honest. About everything but that."  
  
"Exactly! I could have asked three questions you wouldn't have answered off that ONE."  
  
"And you would've been cheating again. That's a bad habit."  
  
"No way. I would have waited my turn. It's worth it to watch you squirm."  
  
He snorted. "I think you've seen enough of me squirming lately, Slayer."  
  
She considered it. "Nope. I would have liked to win. But... I'll let you off, but only cuz you've had the crap kicked outta you twice today."  
  
"Thank you, oh wise and powerful Buffy. Whatever would I do without you?"  
  
She grinned. "Definitely be a few bruises short."  
  
He chuckled. "I've lost count of how many bruises and broken bones this relationship has gotten me, luv. Over the long run, anyway."  
  
Buffy said thoughtfully, "I wonder how many times we've beaten the crap out of eachother?"  
  
"473," he answered quickly. "Not counting post-chip beatings."  
  
She winced. "Ow.. And how many pairs of my clothes do you think you've ruined, Mr. Rough Sex?"  
  
He grinned. "My clothes, or yours?"  
  
"Mine."  
  
"9."  
  
"Ten."  
  
He cocked his head. "I'm forgetting one?"  
  
"My camel-hair coat that has grass-stains now??"  
  
"That doesn't count. And it will come out with baking soda and ginger ale."  
  
"No it won't. I've tried everything. And why doesn't it count? It met the grass of my front lawn with an audible dirt-grinding noise."  
  
"You said pairs of clothes. That is a single item. Drop it off here. If I can't get the stain out, I'll buy you a new one."  
  
She shrugged. "No big. It took the trip to Goodwill a while ago."  
  
He chuckled. "Should have known. I'll get you a new one, anyway. I owe you as much."  
  
She frowned. "Cuz I don't have enough clothes? Spike, don't spend anymore money on me."  
  
He smiled at her, raised an eyebrow. "So you're going to deny me the pleasure of shopping for you? But what will I do with my money?"  
  
"Hotwings, bloomin' onions, Christmas presents, orange-pink roses for Dawn's birthday... A great number of things."  
  
He grinned. "Oh! Yeah. Niblet's birthday is coming up, isnt' it? I wonder what I should get her."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Um.. duh, much? She likes opals. Set in silver. And Rhinos."  
  
"I was being sarcastic, luv. Open the top drawer on the nightstand. You're looking for an orange bag."  
  
She followed his instructions, and pulled out the bag. "This?"  
  
"Yep. Not wrapped yet, so you can open it and tell me what you think."  
  
She reached in and pulled it out. Awwed. She held the pink rhino up and squealed, then noticed the silver necklace set with opals. She turned the necklace over, murmured the inscription. "To my Lil' Bit". "Spike... she's.... oh man... she's gonna flip."  
  
He was looking vulnerable again. "Do you really think she'll like it?"  
  
She walked to his side, kissed his cheek. "She'll forever be your slave," she remarked dryly.  
  
He grinned happily. "I thought I was your slave? Wasn't that in my song last year?" He hummed a couple of verses.  
  
She groaned. "Let's not go there..." She replaced the gift, put it back in the drawer.  
  
He smiled at her. "I.. I don't think I ever told you, but you have a beautiful singing voice." He ducked his head. "Wonderful. Never off key once."  
  
She looked very vulnerable herself. "Thank you. You sing great too. Potently."  
  
He looked up, grinned. "Really? I was in a choir when I was seven. Got out of it when my family moved to London, though."  
  
She laughed. "Me and Mom sang making dinner."  
  
He smiled. "Did your mom ever tell you that I spent the night there once? When you were at an all night Scooby meeting."  
  
She frowned at her mother. "No, she didn't. I'd have grounded her."  
  
"I took off before sunrise the next morning. But I slept on the couch, and she sang me a lullaby."  
  
Buffy smiled. "That sounds like something Mom would do. Why'd you stay the night?"  
  
"I'd been having a bad day. It was right after Dru dumped me the second time. Just before those army idiots grabbed me. I was sad, and Joyce made me cocoa, and sang me the song from Mary Poppins." He looked at her. "You know, the Stay Awake song? Best piece of reverse psychology ever set to music."  
  
She sighed. "Where I come with stakes staking, my mother comes in with lullabies... Yeah.. I used to hear it a lot."  
  
He sniffed, the tears threatening again. "Always works for me. I wasn't even really tired and it knocked me out for six hours."  
  
She sat on his bed, ran a hand over his tousled curls. "You were special to her."  
  
"I know. I miss her." He leaned his head into her hand, looked at her imploringly. "Lie down with me?"  
  
She reclined slowly until her head was level with his on the bed. She laid very still.  
  
"Thanks, luv." He sniffed. "I was suddenly feeling really lonely."  
  
She turned her head, lightly brushed his cheek with her lips. "You're never alone now."  
  
He ran a hand through her hair. "I know." 


	10. Cloaking and Q and A.

Buffy leafed through the book exasperatedly. Gave a pitiful moan. "Where *is* it," she groaned to herself. She had locked herself in the training room with a heavy bag, and everyone assumed she was training. That was fine with her. But it had been two days, and even with her blood in him, and his accelerated healing, Spike's hip was still in horrible shape. She was confident just a little more of her blood would make a difference, heal him more quickly. She was presently researching, looking for a cloaking spell. She hoped, after she did it, and mixed her blood with the normal stuff, he wouldn't know... because, of the... cloak-ee-ness of the spell. Her eyes lit up and she did a mental Scooby happy dance. "Cloaking Spell". Found it.  
  
==============================================  
  
"Come on, Spike. You HAVE to like the Princess Bride." Dawn said, with a fake Spanish accent. "Hello. My name... is Inigo Montoya... You killed my father... Prepare to die."  
  
The vampire made a face, more to hide the fact that he was holding back a laugh than anything else. "Uh-uh. Not my thing. Pick another movie."  
  
"No..." She gave him her huge eyes, pouty lipped look. "Please? There's healthy violence in it."  
  
He turned away, stuffed his head under a pillow, lying on his stomach. "No, not the Look. Anything but the Look. Is that something everyone in your bleedin' family knows how to do?" He spoke into the pillow. He was not watching that movie. "It's a girl movie, anyway."  
  
She smiled triumphantly. "We all DO know how to do it. No it's not! There's pirates, and thieves, and killing, and adventure on the high seas!" She pointed to the movie back. "See? It says right there."  
  
He sighed, still turned toward the pillows. "I don't want to. And I'm the one who's hurt, so I say what goes. Now pick another movie." This was followed by a very quiet, "And maybe we'll watch it later."  
  
She gave a butt-wiggle of happy anticipation. "You're the best!" she sang. She picked up one of the movies out of the bag. "Um... Die Hard?"  
  
He glanced up momentarily, then dropped his head back down. "I've got all those movies memorized. What else you got, Bit?"  
  
"Ugh... Ghost and the Darkness?"  
  
No sound, just a head shake.  
  
"Oooh.. Interview with a Vampire."  
  
He growled. "That stupid thing isn't even remotely realistic."  
  
She grinned dreamily. "It's got Brad Pitt. It doesn't need to be."  
  
He sighed. "Oh, alright. At least it's close enough. But the main character reminds me of Peaches."  
  
She gave a disgusted lip curl. "Ugh, damn if I'm watching THAT movie ever again. Speed? GI Jane? Sabrina? Lethal Weapon?"  
  
He sat up. "Do you have Lethal Weapon 3?"  
  
She rummaged through her huge bag of movies. Held it up triumphantly. "Yes!"  
  
He grinned. "Ok. I haven't seen that one. And I like Mel Gibson's character in those."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "I'd never think it of you." She hopped off the couch and shoved it in the VCR. She plopped back on the couch.  
  
By the time the movie was over, they were both tired. But Spike had an idea for something to do. "Lil' Bit?"  
  
She shoved another hand of popcorn into her mouth sleepily. "Hm?"  
  
He grinned. "How'd you like to interview a *real* vampire?"  
  
Her eyes were suddenly more perky. "You mean, like... a Q and A session??"  
  
"Yeah. I'm in a playful mood."  
  
She giggled. "Way with the cool. Anything off-limits?"  
  
"Anything that I wouldn't have said around your mum." He grinned, leaned toward her conspiratorially. "Of course, that's just what we'll tell your sis."  
  
"How cool."  
  
He reclined back against the couch pillows. "Well? I'm waitin', Niblet."  
  
She cleared her throat. "Well, lets get the most important question out of the way first. Did you ever want to bite me?"  
  
He chuckled. "Not really. I've always liked you. You stood up to me that first night at the Parent/Teacher thing. That took guts, and I appreciate that. Also, I was a little busy trying to keep your big sis from making me vaccumable."  
  
She nodded. "Yeah. Mom woulda kicked your a- butt."  
  
He laughed. "We're adults here, Lil' Bit. Say what you mean. And for your information, she did kick my ass. With a fire axe."  
  
She giggled. "I know. It was like- the coolest thing."  
  
He put a hand on his forehead. "Not for me."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "You're fine now... well, I mean.... whatever. Um... How many slayers have you killed?"  
  
"Two. One during the Boxer Rebellion in 1900 china, and another in New York back in the seventies."  
  
"I see." Dawn tipped her head to the side professionally. "And did she dress well?"  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"Seventies."  
  
He grinned. "Hang on a sec." Walked over to his closet and pulled out a leather jacket. "This was her's. Does that answer your question?" He gently slipped the jacket on the teenager's shoulders.  
  
She took a deep breath, tried to conceal her glee. She was wearing THE jacket. Oh... my... God. She stood, turned in it. "Totally cool. I feel so bad-ass."  
  
Spike chuckled. "You look it, tiger." He gave a shudder. "In fact, I think you'd better take it off. You're scaring me." He hid his face with a large pillow.  
  
She reluctantly took it off, and hung it back in the closet, giving it one last look of awe. "All better. Back to zero-ferociousness Dawn."  
  
He peeked out from behind the pillow, then set it in his lap. "So, what's your next question, Miss Reporter person?"  
  
She tossed her shining hair behind her, sat up straight. "Pre-chip, pre- soul. Think back. What did it feel like to bite someone, and feel their blood becoming yours?"  
  
He cocked his head. "Are we talking physical, or emotional here, Bit?"  
  
She cocked her head. "I imagine it wasn't ever one or the other, so both."  
  
He closed his eyes. "Different, every time. Powerful. A feeling of total power and control, of strength and danger and pain and terror. There's warmth, but there's also pain, as the last of the life drains from a person. You feel it. Their last thoughts, see pictures, images, flashes of feeling. That can be scary. Brings you too close to humanity. And you have to stay above them. See them as the prey, and you're the predator. Otherwise, it becomes near impossible, once you let them in. See them as people, and not food. It's harder. I don't think I could do it again. Not now."  
  
That wasn't what she expected to hear. But respect reverberated through her being. He was more than a vampire now. He was a human with a demon visage. "Would... would my blood make you better faster? Since it's the blood of all the Slayers?"  
  
Spike shook his head. "I already went through this with your sis. She slipped me some of her blood a couple of days ago. And no. I'd rather heal on my own, thank you very much."  
  
She went into a tiny snit. "Well, excuse me for caring, Mr. Butthead." Her head tossed with every other word.  
  
Spike chuckled and laid back. "Doesn't that make you Bevis?"  
  
She glared. "*I'm* asking the questions, here."  
  
"So ask already."  
  
"Do you hate Druscilla, and if yes, yay. If no, why not?"  
  
This was hard. "Uh. I don't think I hate her right now. This is a good day." He thought, shook his head. "I don't hate her because she didn't have a choice. You can't punish a tornado for being what it is. If I hate anyone, it'd be her Poofter of a sire, for making her the way she is. She deserved better." He shook his head again. "So much better that what happened to her. So I guess that's a no."  
  
Dawn sighed. Patted his head. "You will one day. You can join my club. I'll have a card waiting for you."  
  
He chuckled and grabbed her quickly, giving her ribs a quick tickle before releasing her. "Don't pet me. I'm not a dog."  
  
She squirmed and was curled in a ball in the corner of the couch. "Ah! Ok." She peeked at him. Her eyes grew round. "Ooooh. Are vampires perverts?"  
  
"Some of them."  
  
"Angel's a perv, isn't he?"  
  
Spike chuckled. "Angelus is. Angel, I don't know. I don't really know him that well since he's been all soul-having."  
  
She snorted. "He's a major loser." She stamped an "L" on her forehead with her thumb and forefinger.  
  
He looked at her curiously. "What makes you say that? Last time I checked, it was your sis who knew him the best."  
  
"I just... he gives me an uber-creepy feeling. And I know it didn't- didn't really happen, cuz.... ya know, I'm only like... really one year old."  
  
"Uh-huh. And I'm really 24."  
  
She rolled her eyes at him. "But I have a scar from Angelus, and Buffy had to save me. And when he was nice soul boy, he just... didn't even apologize. Ever."  
  
"I remember. He took you with Rupert. That was when he had Acathla. Buffy wasn't the only one looking out for you, you know."  
  
She covered her frown with a grin. "Yeah. I know. You took me for ice cream a long time after that." She considered. "Well, not really, but it was a really nice memory."  
  
He reached over, pulled her to him and hugged her gently. "I think it was real. Because you're real, and I'm real, so who's to tell us that wasn't real? Reality is what we make, after all, right?"  
  
She snuggled under his chin. "Yeah."  
  
"Got another question?"  
  
"Merow?", Harmon said, entering the crypt from one of the tunnels.  
  
Dawn awwed. "Who is that?"  
  
"Go read his tag. He's my cat."  
  
She picked up the cat, read his tag. "You named him Harmony?"  
  
He snorted indignantly. "Not Harmony. Harmon. There is a difference."  
  
"No, Spike..." She shoved the cat at him. "Look. It has a Y."  
  
The cat purred happily and leaped into Spike's lap, arching and yowing excitedly. "That's because I made the tag before I found out that he was a boy cat. And when he was still being annoying."  
  
She laughed. "But now you love the agitating behaviors?"  
  
Harmon reared up and licked Spike on the nose. "Ug.. Some of them. He grew on me."  
  
She pulled the kitty out of Spike's arms. "Hi, Kitty, Kitty. I'm Dawnie. You are so cute. Yes you are."  
  
"Purrrrow," Harmon said, rubbing under her chin and giving her a lick for good measure.  
  
She snuggled the cat in her lap, and gave Spike a look. "What's your favorite kind of sandwich?"  
  
He looked at her. "That's your question?"  
  
She shrugged. "Sure. I have more."  
  
He grinned. "Okay. Are we talking homemade sandwich, or something you buy out?"  
  
"Homemade."  
  
He thought. "Peanut butter and jelly. With the crunchy kind of peanut butter. The ultimate comfort food." He quickly amended. "Next to chocolate."  
  
She nodded agreement. "Totally second place. Well, third for me. Chocolate, Lucky Charms, and then pb&j."  
  
He grinned. "Mine goes "hot wings, chocolate ice cream, PB&J."  
  
She grinned charmingly, then dropped a bomb. "How do you feel about Anya?"  
  
His eyes got wide, then he blinked. "She's okay. When she tries to be, and isn't being a money-obsessive/compulsive."  
  
She sighed. "That's not what I meant. You said we were gonna be adults tonight. Treat me like it. I saw you-" She blushed. "Well, I know you and Anya- but-"  
  
He almost growled. "That wasn't a good night, Bit. For either of us. And we were drunk. Feelings never entered into it, except that we both needed to feel *something*, anything, that would let us know that someone cared. We were both alone that night, no matter what we were doing. That's the truth."  
  
She nodded. "Fair enough. I don't know why I asked. I didn't want to know anyway."  
  
He relaxed. "So ask something that you do want to know."  
  
Her heart was in her eyes as she asked softly, "Buffy isn't hurting you, is she?"  
  
He just looked at her. "Hurting me? No." He took a hand and gently swiped a lock of Dawn's hair behind her ear. "What would make you think something like that?"  
  
She bit her lip, and shrugged. "And you're not- not hurting her either, are you?" Fragile hope was in her voice, eyes bigger than ever.  
  
A tear attempted to escape Spike's eye, but was repelled. "Never. I'll never hurt her, Bit. I promise you."  
  
Her eyes peeked up at his. She nodded softly.  
  
He hugged her again. "Now. What else can I tell you?"  
  
"Buffy said you were being a-" she thought for a moment. "stupid, arrogant male, getting your ass kicked, and thinking nothing of it. But she never told me what happened. What kind of baddie you fought."  
  
He chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like the Slayer, alright. It was a Tralfgar demon. Big nasty bugger. I killed it, though."  
  
She nodded. "Way with the good."  
  
"Now, do you want to do something else? Or do you have more questions?"  
  
She shrugged. "You can ask me some if you want to."  
  
He thought. "I really only have one. But it's confusing, and I don't know if I should ask you."  
  
She leaned her head against his shoulder, relaxing. "No big. Ask away."  
  
He swallowed. "How do... Uh, when I..." He snorted at himself. "Bloody hell. Even now I can never find the right word when I need it."  
  
She shrugged. "Then just say what you mean."  
  
He smiled at her. "It's not that easy. I told you it was confusing."  
  
She linked her fingers with his, very comfortable. "Well, ask me it one part at a time."  
  
He sighed. "Ok. If you had to say what you think that the others feel about me, what would it be? One person at a time, starting with you."  
  
She took a deep breath, looked at their linked hands. "I love you. You're like... this big, protective brother with a grrrr face."  
  
He chuckled, grinned. Squeezed her hand gently. "Thanks."  
  
"And I can.. tell you stuff, and... you like me... and you're fun... and stuff."  
  
"Stuff? What stuff?" Playful undertone that time.  
  
She nudged him with her shoulder. "Ya know. Stuff."  
  
He nodded as if he knew. "Ah. Stuff. What about the others?"  
  
"Giles... is.. confused by you. I think though, he likes you. Cuz, ya know, you give him crap and... tease him. And you're smart."  
  
"I am?"  
  
"Of course you are. Cuz like... You helped with the 'demon Tara', thing, and you... see the obvious, when we're all.. confused by the.... details."  
  
He grinned. "Comes from having 'lived' a long time. You learn stuff. What about Willow, Xander,..." He paused. "And Buffy."  
  
"Willow... fears you a little bit. She's finally met someone more powerful than her. But you helped her, too. And she feels grateful, and ashamed. And she wishes she could be a friend to everyone again."  
  
"I think she is a friend. She just needs to take it slow. It's a difficult road that she's on. But if I know one thing it's that the Scoobies can pull one of their own through anything."  
  
She nodded. "Yes we can. Xander.... um... He kinda is not happy about this. He doesn't hate you, but... how did you feel when Angel screwed Dru?"  
  
His only answer was a low dangerous growl that rumbled from deep in his chest.  
  
Dawn nodded. "Like that. And small. It made you feel small, didn't it?"  
  
He nodded. "Like Stuart Little."  
  
"That's how Xander feels. Times three. You've had Buffy, his best friend, first 'true' love, and Anya, his... whatever. And he feels like he might be losing Willow to you, too."  
  
Spike made a confused face. "If I didn't think that he could kick my ass right now, I'd go talk to him."  
  
She shook her head. "Not gonna add that note to the suggestion box."  
  
"I'm just trying to be a friend. One of the group. A Scooby." He chuckled. "I haven't had too much experience in that sort of thing."  
  
She nodded. "Xander is a Scooby, too. He's always been kinda the only guy Scooby. You're horning in."  
  
"Ah. But Rupert's a Scooby. He's Fred, and Harris is Shaggy. I'm just the talking dog." He did his best Scooby-Doo laugh, which was actually pretty good.  
  
She lifted her head from his shoulder, gave him a well-deserved grin for his Scooby laugh, and said, "But he's always been the only young one. Figuratively speaking."  
  
He chuckled. "Figuratively. What about your sis?"  
  
"I think," Dawn said carefully, "she's gonna realize she's in love with you sooner or later."  
  
"I think she already has."  
  
Dawn sighed. "Which will give her a good month or two of backpedaling."  
  
He sighed. "I hope not. It'll get pretty lonely being Scooby without Daphne around to pet me." He made a face. "That came out so wrong."  
  
Dawn cringed. "Oh, man, did it ever." She said thoughtfully, "I think you should force your hand. Chain her up and make her say it or something."  
  
He snorted. "That's how I told her in the first place. And it didn't really go well."  
  
"No way."  
  
"I don't know. If we keep going in the direction that we seem to be going in, then she'll slip sooner or later." He chuckled. "I just hope it's before she actually manages to tickle me to death."  
  
Dawn smiled. "I think you'll get a reprieve. I mean, you're all taped up."  
  
He glanced down at his bare feet, stretched out along the couch. "Not everywhere. I'm expecting a sneak attack. She said that she was going to catch me off guard."  
  
Dawn laughed. "I bet she forgot already."  
  
"You'd better be right. One of these times, I'm actually going to pass out on her. Let her see how funny that is."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Drama queen."  
  
He cleared his throat. "To be, or not to be that is the-"  
  
"Ohh! We can watch the Princess Bride now!"  
  
He chuckled. "Ok. I said later, and it is officially later. Go and get it."  
  
She stood and did the Snoopy happy dance. "Yay." She pulled it out of the 'Bag O' Movies, and pushed it in. "Can I paint your nails?"  
  
He shook his head no, a lot. "Uh-uh. This isn't a sleep over, Niblet."  
  
She looked at him with her sad eyes. "Please, Spike?"  
  
A long-suffering sigh. "Oh, fine. But if you mess up, I get to tickle you for fifteen minutes."  
  
She squealed, pounced him with a hug. Then backed off. "Ooooh. Sorry!"  
  
He grinned. "S'ok, Bit. I barely felt it." She turned around to get the nail polish, and then he winced.  
  
==============================================  
  
A short time later....  
  
Buffy came to the crypt door. Slayage was hard tonight, with a high body count. She had also done the cloaking spell on the blood, or, rather, the knife, and it was exhausting. Magic was not her thing. She carried a two huge bags: an overnighter with everything she planned to keep at Spike's, and her Slay bag, full of weapons. She tipped her head, hearing rustling. She knocked. And got no answer. "Do you ever?" she asked herself and walked in. From below, she heard Dawn cry plaintively, "Spike! Stop squirming! The glitter coat over the black will look totally hot."  
  
She heard Spike let out a cross between a growl and a laugh. "And I say again no. And stop that! It tickles!" Another laugh.  
  
She heard her sister sigh in exasperation. "Your toes will look like total crap if you do not hold still. I'm telling you. They'll look like claws at night. Very cool."  
  
Spike laughed again. "I can't help it, and no one's going to see them anyway!"  
  
Buffy peeked her head through the opening. "Hey everybody. Slumber party time? And I didn't get an invitation?" She pouted. "My feelings are hurt."  
  
Dawn's eyes lit up. "Hey Buffy!"  
  
Spike groaned. "Of all the embarrassing timing... Hey, luv."  
  
She climbed down, lugging the bags. "Hey, gimpy."  
  
He started to growl, but it turned into a snort of laughter and he yanked his foot away from the Key at the opposite end of the couch. "I said stop bloody tickling me!"  
  
Dawn looked to her sister. "I'm trying to paint his toes and he just keeps squirming! Tell him to stop!"  
  
"Tell her I can't help it!"  
  
Buffy gave Spike a stern look. "Take it like a man, soldier."  
  
Dawn nodded. "Yeah. Suck it up."  
  
He gave Buffy a pleading look. "But it's torture! She's gonna kill me!"  
  
Buffy tossed a hand dramatically across her forehead. "Thank God you're already dead."  
  
"Very funn- AHH! Dawn!"  
  
She grabbed her overnight back and began lugging it to the tunnel. "Torture away, Dawn. Spike, I'm gonna drop stuff in your bathroom, ok?"  
  
Spike was too busy grinding his teeth together to reply.  
  
Buffy stopped. "Ya know what? I'm gonna shower, too. I'll be back in a while."  
  
Dawn looked up from where she was struggling to hold Spike's foot to nod at her sister. "Ok. He'll be pretty when you're done."  
  
"Wait!," Spike called pitifully. "Don't leave me here!"  
  
Buffy chuckled. "That was sad. Ya know, if you sit still, it'll be over quicker." She left the two to bicker and laugh, and started to unpack in his bathroom.  
  
"I can't stay stILL!!", Spike called after her, the final syllable raising to operatic standards.  
  
Buffy pulled out four towels, a loofa, shampoo, conditioner, soap, and a brush and hair dryer. She shoved a small bag of cosmetics, toothbrush, and perfume into the back of one drawer, and rearranged her things to her liking. She could still hear Spike and Dawn. Now both of them were laughing, and Spike was begging for mercy. Buffy gave a chuckle as she stepped into the shower, and let the water wash over her.  
  
Half an hour later, Buffy emerged from the bathroom, clean, teeth-brushy, and feeling pretty, even though she felt odd knowing she was hoping no one would REALLY notice the absurdity of her wearing a smudge of lip gloss. Her bright pink clingy tank top and black jamma pants were comfortable, and she wore an old pair of slippers. She carried the half empty duffel back out. "Hey guys." Dawn smiled at her from her spot on the floor.  
  
Spike was still laying across the couch, an exhausted expression on his face. He raised a hand and half waved.  
  
Dawn said excitedly, hopping up to grab said hand, "Look at his nails. Tell me how cool they look." She turned his hand this way and that. "I put a glitter coat overtop the black."  
  
Buffy bit back a snorting laugh. "Killer, Dawn. It looks really cool."  
  
Spike didn't even move. He was beyond tired. The kind of tired that squirming nonstop combined with semi-hysterical laughter will get you. Not to mention that he wasn't back to his full strength yet.  
  
"Spike...?" Buffy put a hand on his shoulder. "What drawer..?"  
  
"Any one." His voice was as tired as the rest of him, but there was a light in his eyes. Despite being tired, playing with Dawn had put him into a good mood. In his mind, that was the only good thing about surviving the torture that she'd inflicted.  
  
She smiled and went to his bureau. She opened the bottom drawer and emptied it out, and dispersed it between the other five.  
  
Dawn sat at Spike's feet on the couch, chattering about Wesley from History. Buffy filled the drawer, putting her... unmentionables in the bottom, under all her other clothes.  
  
Spike yawned loudly, forgetting for the moment that he got fangy.  
  
Dawn didn't even seem disturbed, except to say, "Ha. That's so cool. I wish I could do that."  
  
Spike shook it off quickly. "No you don't."  
  
Buffy said at the same time, "No you don't."  
  
"You don't need fangs to be intimidating, Bit."  
  
Dawn grinned engagingly at them. "I know. I've got a mean roundhouse, huh, Buffy?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Absolutely. But your mind can be intimidating, too, Dawn. Sharpen it, along with your body."  
  
"Wax on, wax off," Spike intoned, playfully.  
  
Dawn swatted him playfully. "Dork."  
  
Buffy nodded. "Ditto."  
  
"Twin pains." The 'twin looks' he got should have shut him up.  
  
He said nothing, but did stick his tongue out at them.  
  
Buffy shut the drawer. "Dawn, did you have dinner?"  
  
"Yeah," Dawn grinned. "Wings and an onion."  
  
Buffy jerked her thumb towards the fridge. "Try an apple, too, Wonder Woman." Dawn trudged over, pouting.  
  
"Summers women," he muttered under his breath.  
  
"We heard that," they said in unison.  
  
He play growled. "Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it?" He climbed to his feet and growled again.  
  
Buffy simply stared him down. "Lay down."  
  
Spike noted her look and pouted. He wanted to play, but he lay down anyway.  
  
"I am not using one more piece of gauze or medical tape on you tonight. So if I beat you up, you bleed to... dusty death."  
  
Spike gasped indignantly. "You wouldn't."  
  
She arched a brow. "Try me tonight."  
  
He sighed and laid back again, stretched along the couch.  
  
She looked at him, said softly, "I'm gonna take my bag o' weapons upstairs. Want me to get you a quick mug of blood? You look kinda drained."  
  
He grinned. "Yeah. That'd be great, luv. And Dawn can keep me company while you're gone."  
  
She smiled. "Ok." Dawn just grumped from where she leaned against the counter, crunching an apple.  
  
Upstairs, Buffy knew she had only a limited amount of time. She dropped the bag and took her knife out quickly. She slid down her jamma pants to see where she had cut only days before. It was almost healed. She took a mug, and returned to the bag for a piece of paper. Holding the knife, she cut herself as she read off the paper. "Brightness beyond sunrise/ Crimson beyond blood that flows/ Buried deep within his mind/ Is the only way he'll know/ I say with caring/ Guard him from my lie/ Accept the bond, and ne'er ask why/ This I command, by my unworthy hand/ Cloak my blood, bless my lie." She let the blood flow until it slowed to a trickle. She taped it up quickly, this time prepared with a small amount of medical supplies. She put everything back in it's place. She dumped more blood into the mug, and yanked her pants back up, scurried down the ladder. She put it in the microwave, smiled at Dawn and Spike on the couch.  
  
Two golden eyes watched from the corner. Harmon sat on his upstairs bed, watching everything the Slayer did. Understanding, in his own way, what she was trying to do, but wondering if she knew what was in store...  
  
Downstairs, Buffy pulled the mug out of the microwave when it beeped, sprinkling marshmallows in it. She carried it to the couch, and waited till Spike and Dawn made room for her.  
  
Spike licked his lips, trying not to seem too hungry, but his eyes flashed yellow, and he remembered that he hadn't eaten since that morning.  
  
Dawn scooted to the other end of the couch, giving Buffy the middle. Her and Spike. Best of both worlds, she figured.  
  
"Merowww!!", Harmon called from the stairs. But it was no use. They didn't understand him anyway. He walked over and hopped up on the coffee table. "Rooowr!", he tried again. Spike glanced at him, but the vampire's instinctive animal understanding was poorly developed, and he accepted the mug from Buffy despite the feline's warning.  
  
Buffy picked up Harm, and settled him on her lap as she sat between Spike and her sister. "Hey, Harm. How are ya today?"  
  
Harmon decided that maybe visuals would work. He meowed at Buffy, then batted at the mug, then rowred at Spike. Once again, the vampire looked at him, and Harm had hope, but then Spike drank the mug, and the cat had the very human thought of "Shit."  
  
Dawn gave the cat a weird look. "Did you turn that cat?"  
  
Spike almost choked. "What?"  
  
She shrugged. "It's all, rrrraaaaar-ee for the blood."  
  
Spike looked at Harmon again. "What is wrong with you today, boy?" The cat had a desire to just hit him. But, being a nice kitty, he didn't. "merrow," he muttered quietly. The blood was gone, anyway, the spell was in effect, and there was nothing more he could do. He only could hope that the Slayer knew what she was doing. 


	11. DoubleMeat, Double Sweet Day.

That night, Buffy tossed in her bed.....  
  
Prague, 1918  
  
She looked down at herself, KNOWING those clothes did not hang in her closet. It was like... something from a timepiece movie... early 1900's maybe? She had never paid attention in class. It felt so surreal, yet so... solid. Everywhere she looked was tinted red. Tainted. People were fleeing in panic, she could smell their fear, feel it roll off them in waves. Anger, despair, grief, insanity. She had to help... had to... Flee. The conflicting emotions rendered her immobile, and she simply twisted in the sea of people running in all directions about her. Lightning streaked the sky and thunder rolled on the clouds. It lit the center of the area, illuminating four figures in unholy light. Terror and bile rose in her throat, arrows of familiarity pierced her heart. She lifted her head to stare across the masses.  
  
A dusty blonde head was tilted over someone... a woman, a small woman... a child?? He tore his head up, blood dripping from his feral smile, intoxicating pleasure, power, drowning his eyes, locking on hers. The tableau was frozen, the child, still limp in this creature's arms, she, still immobile, frozen in indecision, but the creature, with a flash of lightning, his eyes changed. They were those of Spike's. Her Spike's, and they wept with anguish. Spike's clothes and hair changed, and he fell to his knees, cradling the body of the child. "No, nonono..."  
  
Buffy's own facade of clothes and hair faded, and a harried shout tore from her lips, horror flooding her system. Spike looked up from the corpse, his eyes locking on hers once more. "H- Help me..."  
  
Buffy woke, bathed in sweat, shaking. her breath trembled, and she rubbed her hands over her eyes wearily.  
  
Spike sat bolt upright in his bed, panting, tears streaming down his cheeks. It was the same nightmare that had been haunting him for months, except... Buffy had never been there before. "What the bloody hell?"  
  
============================================================================ ========  
  
Buffy was in the Magic Box the next morning, tearing through the spell book. Her eyes lit when she saw it, and she sat, read the script carefully. Last night.... Last night had felt eerily like how shifting through Spike's mind had. She had to know if that was just a side-effect of her sharing her blood. Dread filled her system as the words on the page sunk in.  
  
" Beware all those who choose to help, there is a price to pay. Never to be alone again, forever will you stay, locked together/ minds as one, the bond will never die, until the one who's blood it is faces the truth and light."  
  
Panic rose in her system. "Forever you will stay? Truth and light?" Buffy closed the book, replaced it. Truth and light? Truth... She walked up to Anya, who stood behind the counter. "It hurt my feelings when you slept with Spike." She turned before Anya could say a word to face Xander. "I know you feel pushed out. But you're my best friend. I don't ever wanna lose you, and you're so important to us as Scoobies, as well as a great guy." She bit her thumb nail and looked at Dawn who was staring at her like she had gone crazy. "I... wore your blue shirt once, and... Spike tore it. The washer didn't turn it a funny color." She looked at Giles. Cocked her head to the side. Truth?? About Giles? "I... had a small crush on you when you first got here. Before.... ya know.... everything."  
  
Giles did the only thing a proper Englishman could do: He spit his tea across the table, right onto Xander's new shirt.  
  
"EEch!!", Xander yelped. "God, Giles!" He looked at Buffy. "And what has gotten into you? Suddenly all miss massive confessions. Now," he said, standing up. "If you'll excuse me. I have the sudden compulsion to do my laundry."  
  
She stared at his retreating back. "I love you?" She said helpfully.  
  
"Yeah, yeah..."  
  
She gave a small pout. Looked around. Well, all confessioned out. She focused on an 'un-like her' thought. Titanic... whiskey... In a slight trance, she was in Spike's head still. She gave a loud, high-pitched mental, "Shit!" then focused on a 'her' thought. Had to get lip gloss. Buffy gave a small, neat smile to everyone still glancing expectantly at her. "Well, I'd better go. Bye."  
  
As she walked out the door, Giles turned to Anya and Dawn, and all three of them shrugged.  
  
============================================================================ ========  
  
Buffy had walked away, and gone shopping. Nothing major. Some fruit, some veggies, some blood, and one tube of peach lip gloss. She now stood at Spike's door holding the blood, and wearing the lip gloss, the tube resting in her pocket. 'Just... check his bandages, ask how he slept, drop the blood, and get out,' she told herself. She knocked, not really expecting an answer, because she never really got one when she did.  
  
"Come in, luv," Spike called in a voice that sounded like he had been crying.  
  
She walked in, crossed quickly to him . "What's wrong?" Scenes of Jack's death flashed across her eyes. "I'll never let go" floated through her mind. She rolled her eyes. He was making her insane over Titanic.  
  
The tv was on, showing the credits to Titanic. He sniffed. "Nothin'. Just watching a movie, that's all."  
  
"Brought some blood from the grocery." She passed him to pack it into the fridge.  
  
He sniffed again, pulled a Kleenex from the box next to him. "Thanks."  
  
She sat on the opposite side of the couch. "How ya feelin'?"  
  
He looked at her. "I said that I'm fine. I should just add this stupid movie to the list of ones that I like and can't watch without crying. Right up there with Ghost and Beauty And The Beast."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you like this garbage." She sighed theatrically. "I'll never let go, Jack.. I'll never let go. Then she shoves him into the ocean as a nice little popcicle for the next shark and boogies to the next boat."  
  
"Oh, sure. When you say it like that." He snorted.  
  
"Oh. You mean realistically?"  
  
"And there aren't any sharks that far north." He grinned. "Not a romantic at heart, eh?"  
  
She snorted. "Fine... the next insane penguin..." She shrugged. "Dunno."  
  
"You know, I was almost on the Titanic."  
  
"Really? Did you lose that game of poker to Jack?"  
  
He chuckled. "No. Dru and I killed a young couple that had tickets, so we took 'em. But she slept in, and I didn't have the heart to wake her, so we missed the boat."  
  
She shook her head in dismay. "It would have been like... Happy Meals On Ice."  
  
Spike laughed. "You remember that crack, huh? Happy Meals with legs?"  
  
She nodded, glanced at his now encased in cotton-strips torso. "How's all this doing?"  
  
He grimaced. "Dunno. I, uh, can't get the bandages off. It feels better, though. A lot better."  
  
Unease skittered through her. "Yeah?"  
  
He grinned. "Must be you and Dawn's expert nursing." He caught a wave of emotion, nervousness, and slight fear. "Are you okay, luv?"  
  
She said enthusiastically, "Oh yeah. Us Summers' nurses. I'm fine. Just wanna see your hip."  
  
He "tsk"ed playfully. "Now, now, Slayer. I know you just can't wait to get your hands on me again, but I'm movin' kind of slow these days. Must be my advanced years catching up to me."  
  
She gave a small laugh. "Oh yeah... can't wait to tear your pants off." She scrunched her nose. "That came out wrong."  
  
"Ever so much."  
  
"C'mon," she entreated him. "I have to be at work soon."  
  
He moaned theatrically and rolled onto his side. "Be gentle, I'm very delicate."  
  
She said, "Oh yeah.. cuz I never had bruises to disprove that..."  
  
"I said that I'M delicate, not that I'm gentle. Unless I want to be."  
  
She knelt beside him on the floor beside the couch and pulled the bandage off carefully. She placed two fingers against the skin, gaging the healing. Heat flashed through her. Sudden desire, tenderness. Love. Pleasure. Gratitude.  
  
Spike looked at her. "Somethin' wrong, luv? You just gasped." He craned his neck to see his hip. "It isn't that bad, is it?"  
  
She jerked her hand back. Mumbled, "No... I was just... No." She shook her head, attempting to clear it. "It- it's healing nicely. Better than I had hoped."  
  
He sighed, relaxed. "Oh. Good. Then what just happened?"  
  
Her voice was sharp. "What? What do you mean?"  
  
He flinched slightly at her sudden tone. "Uh, just that you made a weird sound when you touched me, and I can tell that you're nervous about something. Scared, even. What is it?"  
  
She mentally got a grip. "It just really surprised me that it was healing so nicely. Those demons are really dirty, and I wasn't sure if I got all the dirt out of the scratch. Bacteria, infections, ya know. It looks really good."  
  
"But you're still nervous about something. Your feelings are all jumbled."  
  
She calmed herself. "I just wish I didn't have to go to work. I'd rather stay and look after you and Dawn."  
  
He smiled at her. "I like that idea. Hey, why don't you call in another sick day? Then we can watch movies, and you can make fun of me when I cry."  
  
She smiled and patted his cheek. "I would love to, but all paid-leave days are gone for now."  
  
He pouted. "Then I'm gonna be all alone again."  
  
She pulled out her lipgloss, applied, replaced, and smiled. "Dawn'll be here at three. Just in time for you to fill her in on Passions."  
  
He grinned. "Ok. Maybe I'll take a nap until then. I didn't get much sleep last night. Nightmares again."  
  
She stilled. "I'm sorry. What'd you dream?"  
  
He made a "pfft"ing noise. "Just memories with a twist. Like they always are. The massacre in Prague, but then it's the me that I am now, with a soul, and I can't stop, and the girl always dies in my arms. Only last night was different. You were there. At least, I think it was you."  
  
' Regulate breathing, heartbeat,' she reminded herself. 'He can read them like a book.' "Me?"  
  
"Yeah. I think. You were dressed like you belonged there. And you were staring at me. That's never happened before. I've dreamed about you, sure, all the time, but you've never been in one of my memory nightmares that didn't already involve you. Like the tower one, for instance."  
  
She, "hmmm"-ed. "How odd."  
  
"Tell me about it. Bloody weird. Must be the last of your blood from the other night running around in my system."  
  
She stood, patted his head quickly, praying for no images to wipe her mind clear of its sense. "Probably." She pulled her lip gloss out of her pocket, uncapped it and held it under his nose. "Like?"  
  
He sniffed appreciatively. "Nice. It's new?"  
  
She nodded. "I was low."  
  
"I like this one. But then again, I can't remember you ever having one that I didn't like."  
  
Strawberry, cherry, apple, cotton candy, and cinnamon ran through her head. He had tasted them all on her. Apple was his favorite. "What was your favorite?"  
  
"Apple."  
  
He glanced at the clock. "So, when do you have to be a work?"  
  
"In... ya know, a few minutes. In fact, I'm gonna get outta here, head over there... I'll be here at midnight-ish where Dawn will be sleeping soundly on your couch?"  
  
"Yeah. Unless she falls asleep on the bed again and I wind up on the couch."  
  
She shook her head. "Just put her on the couch. She's fine. You need the bed." 'Doesn't like to wake her.'  
  
"I don't like to wake her."  
  
She shrugged. "I'd appreciate it if you'd make her sleep there though. It's a respect thing."  
  
He nodded. "I'll try. When she starts nodding off, I'll direct her to the couch."  
  
He'd move her to the couch ten minutes before she arrived. Her head was spinning. "Ummm.. uh-k. I'll be- Ya know, at work."  
  
"Ok. See you later." 'I love you..'  
  
She walked hazily to the ladder. Stopped. The words stalled her. The unspoken ones. "Of course you will... see me later.... I'll.... see you later... too."  
  
"Bye, luv." '...so much...'  
  
She wasn't used to all this emotion. She fled. It was rocking her system, the emotion that was so casual to him. It overwhelmed her. She staggered in the graveyard, falling to her knees, and gave herself a moment to compose herself.  
  
============================================================================ ========  
  
Burgers... why did people eat so many of them? And would they, if they knew the special ingredient was the *beef flavor*?? She sighed dejectedly in the store room, and grabbed more buns.  
  
FLASH!!! Sunnydale, 2001...  
  
Spike fell, hitting the ground hard after his hundred and fifty foot drop. He moaned and tried to sit up, but pain rocketing from everywhere at once sent him back down.  
  
Buffy had never seen him fall. It hurt her almost as much as him.  
  
He struggled to his feet, but one leg collapsed beneath him, broken just below the knee. Energy was crackling all around, seeming to set the air itself on fire. The portal was open...  
  
He stared up, using a piece of rusted pipe as a crutch. "...no..", he said quietly. "...Lil' Bit..." He hobbled toward where he could see what looked like Rupert crouched over something... Ben, or rather, Ben's body. Rupert had suffocated him. Spike paused, staring at his unofficial mentor.  
  
Buffy's eyes welled. Her Watcher's innocence, gone as well.  
  
Spike started to limp toward the stairs. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he wasn't going to let Dawn jump. Suddenly, as quickly as it had started, the crackling energy stopped. Spike froze, staring up at the tower. What had happened?  
  
He could see Dawn slowly descending the staircase, and his heart leapt, she was okay! But where was....?  
  
At that instant, there was the sickening sound of a body hitting pavement. Spike froze. Turned toward the sound, saw the others gathering. Not really comprehending what was going on, he limped toward his surrogate family, half dragging his mostly useless leg, still using the pipe as a crutch.  
  
He came around a pile of construction equipment, and saw her. Buffy. His love... His life... His light... Dead. He dropped the pipe. Stood for a second on the broken limb, then collapsed, weeping and wailing to the ground. "...no... God, please no..."  
  
FLASH!!!!!  
  
Buffy's own legs gave out as she succumbed to the numbness, then the blinding terror, guilt, and loss. Mindless to her surroundings, she began to bawl. "...No... God, please no..."  
  
A DoubleMeat employee turned the corner to find Buffy on her knees mashing the buns. She had heard a rumor of a family emergency. She knelt beside her, cupped her shoulders. "Dear... why don't you take the day?"  
  
============================================================================ ========  
  
"...no... God, please no...", Spike continued to mutter in his sleep.  
  
Dawn tossed her backpack on a chair in the upstairs, free from school! Her smile froze as she heard a pained muttering from the downstairs. She crept down the ladder, a stray stake at the ready, just in case.  
  
"...Buffy... oh, God no..."  
  
He was lying on the couch, tears on his sleeping face. Dawn tucked the stake in her back pocket, and sat next to him. "Spike."  
  
"...no, Buffy..."  
  
She sighed, knowing it would take more for this dream. They'd had it before. She lay down on the couch beside him, rubbing the inside of her wrist. Felt the blood pulse strongly. Held it to his nose. "Spike.... Wake up. It's ok... Please wake up..." Touching him was a no-no, it made him violent. But the smell of Buffy, or something like it, always brought him back.  
  
Spike's eyes flew open and he sat bolt upright on the couch, nearly falling off. "Wha..?"  
  
She laid her hands on his shoulders, knowing touch was allright now, he knew she was there. "You had the dream again."  
  
His eyes roamed for a moment before focusing on the Key sitting next to him. "I did?" Then it hit him. "Oh. I did." He swiped at his eyes, sniffed, blinked back a stubborn tear.  
  
She wrapped her arms around him. He slipped his arms around her in return, their ritual of calming each other firmly in place. "Sorry," he whispered. "Thought I'd gotten rid of that one."  
  
She nuzzled her cheek in the crook of his neck. "I forgive you."  
  
He gave her a tight squeeze before releasing her and settling back. "Thanks, Bit." He glanced around. "So, what's on the agenda for today? All the better to forget certain recurring dreams."  
  
She rubbed her hands together. "Dinner."  
  
"Oh? And what do you have today? And please say that it includes something chocolate."  
  
"I know it's only three, but.... wow. I have..." She picked up a bag she had deserted when she saw him. "Mac and cheese, salad, and brats." She reached into her purse, pulled out a Hershey bar. "Like.. this kind of chocolate?" She waved it in the air. She yanked it back when he reached for it.  
  
"Say: Dawn is the prettiest key in the world."  
  
"Dawn is a pain and if she values her life, she'll give Spike the candy bar."  
  
She continued as if he hadn't interrupted. "She's the best nightmare-getter- outter, and best cook in Sunnydale. She is kind and gracious."  
  
He play growled and pounced her. "She is also ticklish. Now, give me the candy."  
  
She shoved the bar at him. "Here ya go." She patted his head. "Nice vampy." An appeasing smile. "Enjoy?"  
  
"..grrr..." But he was grinning. He broke the bar in half and handed part of it back. Then settled back against the couch pillows, chuckling.  
  
She shook her head, pushed it back at him. "No way. I think I'm getting fat." She put her hands on her curvier hips. "See that? I have fat now. I can rest my hands on it. It's like..." she was at a loss for words. "a hand rest made of fat."  
  
He laughed. "You? Fat? Uh-uh. Now I'm getting a bit of a belly on me, but not you." He poked her ribs.  
  
She swatted his hands. "I'm serious! It's scary!"  
  
He grinned, and continued to poke at her. "That's not scary. I'm scary."  
  
She waved him off. "I mean..." she continued in her own little drama, "I know I'm supposed to get hips. It happens. But not THIS big. I mean.." She swung them back and forth experimentally. "I think I can shut lockers on both sides of the hall with these babies."  
  
"Or knock a bunch of demons off you from either side. That's not fat, Bit. That's muscle from all the training you're doin'."  
  
She firmed her mouth, nodding. "I'm confident this warrants a Scooby meeting. " She frowned. "I need to tone, not bulk."  
  
"Why?"  
  
She stomped a foot and tossed her hair. "Because it's distressing!"  
  
"You're calling a meeting because of your hips? So should I call one every time my hair gets all messy?"  
  
She said snidely, poking at her hips, "No, you should tell Buffy to lay off."  
  
He cocked his head, pretending not to understand her, sliding across the couch toward her. "What did you say?"  
  
She was still lost in thought. "Tell Buffy to chill with the... sexiness. I bet I can dance better with these now." She swung her hips seductively to a beat in her head. Bent her knees, straightened them, dipped again, never stopping her hips. She nodded approvingly. "At least they've got *some* use..."  
  
Spike paused, readied himself, then growled and pounced, his fingers immediately going to the junction of ribs and hips, a Summers weak spot. Dawn squealed and wiggled, laughing helplessly. "It's not FAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIR!!!" she giggled and squealed. "You're-haha-hurt!"  
  
Spike laughed. "And I owe you. Big time."  
  
She let out a pitiful moan. "Spiiiii-iiiiiiiiike..."  
  
He chuckled and released, turning his back on her.  
  
She started to pounce, then thought better of it. She waited till he settled on the couch.  
  
Spike sat down, put his feet up, relishing his victory.  
  
She pounced on his middle, barely missing his hips and dove for his feet, tickling mercilessly.  
  
Spike let out a howl that could have awakened the dead, and might have, given their location. "Daaaawwwnnn!! Quit.. ahh!... Stop it!!"  
  
"Dawn's distress warrants a meeting." She scraped a nail gently up his instep.  
  
He growl/laughed, but said nothing. He was going to win here if it killed him.  
  
She kept it up. "In fact, her distress is understandable." Tickled more.  
  
Spike convulsed, fought an impulse to kick her into the next week, but stayed mostly silent, except for the giggles that kept slipping out.  
  
"Fat hips are ugly. Say it, Spike."  
  
============================================================================ ========  
  
Buffy had composed herself, and stayed at work. She now handed a customer a to-go bag. "Have a doublemeat-" snorting giggle, "doublesweet-" snicker- "Day."  
  
============================================================================ ========  
  
"Face.. lifts.. checked... pugsly...", he snorted out. There was no way that both Summers girls were going to get the best of him.  
  
She continued her attack. "Say it!!"  
  
"No! Haha!"  
  
"FAT HIPS ARE UGLY!" She yelled while she tickled. Oh, he was undead, sure. But SHE was a teenager.  
  
He laughed harder, then sucked in a deep breath... and held it. 'Don't let her win...', he mentally chanted. 'Gotta hold on..'  
  
She slowed her assault, saying quietly, "Fat hips are gross, and atrocious, and Dawn will get rid of hers." She scraped a nail down his instep and sped up the tickling.  
  
"You.. -giggle- don't have -snort- fat anything!"  
  
She sighed. Kept tickling. "Fat hips are ugly."  
  
"Give... hehe.. up!"  
  
She shook her head. "No way, boy. Fat... hips.... are.... ugly..."  
  
"Rat lips are ugly..", he laughed.  
  
She snorted, kept tickling. "You've kissed a few."  
  
He tried to growl, but it came out as a snorting laugh when she found a spot near his toes. "Uh-uh.."  
  
She was intrigued by the snorting noise and tickled between his toes again. A-ha. The road to domination.  
  
'Oh damn it!', the vampire thought. "Don't..!"  
  
She scritched between them gently. "Fat hips are ugly."  
  
He squeaked, and tried to hold his breath again.  
  
She laughed. Amended. "Dawn's fat hips are ugly."  
  
"Whyiiii!?"  
  
============================================================================ ========  
  
Meanwhile.... Buffy was curled in a corner of the backroom, laughing hysterically. The same woman who had recommended she take the day, shook her head at the cashier. "It happens to them all when they realize they're lifers..."  
  
============================================================================ ========  
  
Dawn scratched between his toes again. "Because I said so."  
  
"Don't think sooooo!"  
  
She switched back. "Fat hips are ugly."  
  
"Mat rips are uglyiii!!" He was very determined this time. Besides, no matter what he looked like, this was fun! Albeit torture, but fun torture.  
  
She glared, tickled him more. Bit his ankle. "Fat hips are ugly."  
  
"Owww! HA! Cheaterrr!"  
  
"I learned from the best. SAY IT!"  
  
'Give up time,' the vampire's mind said. 'We're finished.' "FAT HIPS ARRRREEE UUGGGLLLYY!!"  
  
Dawn tossed her hands in the air. "Yeah!!!!!"  
  
"Damnit," Spike muttered, still laughing slightly.  
  
She stood to make dinner, laughing, then stopped. Had a very offended look on her face. "I can't BELIEVE you said I was ugly!!"  
  
Spike looked shocked. "What? But you said..." He sighed. "Never mind. Sorry."  
  
She laughed and kissed his cheek. "I'm just playing."  
  
He chuckled. "I just can't win with you people, can I?"  
  
She shook her head. "Probably not. But the look on your face??" She smiled. "Priceless, absolutely terrified blankness."  
  
Spike muttered, "Humans..."  
  
============================================================================ ========  
  
Buffy glared at the vampire attacking her. "-like he has NOTHING better to do with his time than be TICKLED? While I'm WORKING!?" She staked him thoughtfully. "I wonder how I'm gonna fix this."  
  
She was at Spike's door, and so ready for the shower. And in her pocket was a new lipgloss. Apple. But just because the compulsion to buy it had come over her, did NOT mean that it was remotely related to the fact that it was Spike's favorite. Which was why she defiantly put a thin layer on before she knocked. Defiantly.  
  
"Come in," Spike called quietly.  
  
She came in, her steps light to the downstairs. Dawn was on the couch, curled with a blanket thrown over her.  
  
"Hey," Spike said, looking up from where he had been writing in a notebook. He was sitting up in bed, with a four pillow prop behind him. "How was your day?"  
  
She sighed. "It's over now."  
  
"Hard time?"  
  
Gave him a smile. "Thanks for putting her on the couch... No, it was a hysterical day, just busy."  
  
He smiled back. "I suppose you want to take a shower?"  
  
She had a hand on the small of her back, pushing it as discreetly as possible. "Absolutely." She crossed the floor to open her drawer, pull out pajamas.  
  
"I thought so. I got out a clean towel and all your stuff for you. So that you wouldn't have to do it."  
  
She smiled gratefully. "Thank you."  
  
He grinned. "No problem, luv. Willing slave, remember?"  
  
"Clearly. I put my stuff in the bottom 'cuz your all stiff and un-bendy. Ya know, so you wouldn't have to bend. But I appreciate getting my stuff."  
  
"It was nothing. I like helping you. Even if I'm just grabbing your shampoo."  
  
She smiled. "I'm just gonna hop in all right?"  
  
"Take your time, luv." He went back to writing. "I've got plenty to keep me busy."  
  
She nodded, and took his word for it, and took her time. It was almost one when she re-emerged, the crick still in her back, but the hot water had helped some. Her hair was dry and fluffy, and she felt she had triumphed over the 'smell'.  
  
Spike was still writing, but there was something slightly different about him. He was wearing a pair of wire framed glasses. Really old glasses. Harmon meowed a greeting to her from his place across Spike's feet. Spike glanced up, removed the glasses. "Oh. You're finished?"  
  
She got a slightly harassed feeling when the cat walked by. Like he was a spy or something. She smiled at him. "Yeah. You still need glasses? I thought being all fangy fixed that."  
  
He chuckled. "It's more of a mental thing than an actual handicap. But they do help me a little, when I'm reading or writing in low light, so I don't know."  
  
She nodded. "Gotcha." She laid across the foot of the bed, much like Harm, snuggled down into the comforter. "Mmmmm..."  
  
Spike smiled, put the glasses back on, and began scribbling again. "So. What's the news from the world of fast food?"  
  
She shrugged. "Breaking news... It still sucks."  
  
He chuckled, kept writing. "Can't be all bad. You never have any fun there? No one makes you laugh?"  
  
'You do.'  
  
He looked up. "Me?"  
  
"No... I want to slay customers more than- what?"  
  
"How could I make you laugh? I'm never even there?" He took off the glasses. "Unless you think I'm... what? Weird? Silly?"  
  
Panic rose. "Spike..?"  
  
He thought for a moment. "That was strange. Huh. Must be another of those side effects of your blood. Must say, I didn't think it'd last this long."  
  
"I've got... uh.. tough blood. Ya know." She covered her mental blunder. He had heard her not speak. "Well, probably. But, sometimes I think about what we talk about, and it makes me laugh."  
  
"Me too. " He smiled. "Tell me about it. Come look at my hip. It's closed, and I don't even think I'll get a new scar out of it."  
  
She scooted up on the bed. "Lemme see."  
  
He obediently rolled over and pulled the waist of his pajama pants down.  
  
She pulled the bandage back, careful to not touch him. "Wow. It looks great."  
  
He noticed her hesitancy. "Something wrong, luv?" He ducked his head. "I mean, you're acting like you don't want to.. touch me... anymore. Did I... did I do something wrong?"  
  
She reached out a hand, grazed his cheek. "No. Of course you didn't."  
  
He sighed. "Oh." Realizing that he still had the glasses on, he removed them again. "Bloody things."  
  
She smiled, replaced the bandage. "They're cute."  
  
He gave her a boyish grin. "Cute? Me? I'm not cute." He thought a moment. "Devilishly handsome, but not cute. Cute is for puppies and kittens. Not big bad master vampires."  
  
She laughed. "You're devilishly handsome when you're all, 'Whoo, I'm sexy, touch me I sizzle'. But when you write, and wear glasses, and grin when you're embarrassed, you're cute."  
  
He chuckled, and tried not to grin again. "I'm just a big puppy, aren't I?"  
  
She nodded. "Basically."  
  
He whimpered. "So, are you going to stay the night? Keep me company?"  
  
Unease. The cozy feeling she'd been cultivating evaporated. She smiled at him. "Sure."  
  
He cocked his head. There was something at the edge of his perception that was bothering him. A vague feeling of nervousness, and he could have sworn that it wasn't his own. "Uh, you don't have to if you don't want to, luv," he said, taking a shot in the dark to see if the feelings were hers.  
  
'That's it,' thought the cat from his spot on the vampire's feet. 'You're close...'  
  
She smiled again. "It's no big. Really... just... Dawn... I think... I'm gonna sleep on the floor, ok?" She wetted her lips, tasting her apple gloss.  
  
He looked at her. "Ok. But you don't have to."  
  
Harmon sighed. 'Time for a hint.' He wound his tail around Spike's feet, eliciting a laugh when it brushed between his toes.  
  
Buffy's legs jerked, and her breath caught. She looked at the cat. Damn if she didn't think Harmon was out to screw her over. She picked him up, gave him a hug. "Hey kitty. I've missed you."  
  
Harmon meowed pointedly. And then purred and nuzzled her. After all, she was only trying to help.  
  
"I'll bet you don't miss a thing." She held Harmon up to eye level. Looked into his feline eyes.  
  
Spike chuckled. "Whoo. Thanks for moving him, luv. I've had enough tickling to last me three lifetimes today."  
  
Abruptly smiled at Spike. "Oh yeah?"  
  
Spike chuckled again and pointed at the sleeping teenager on the couch. "Lil' Bit tortured me for the better part of an hour today. All because she wanted to call a Scooby meeting to discuss her hips."  
  
Harmon licked Buffy's nose and squirmed out of her grasp to sit beside Spike. She arched a brow and gave the cat a reluctant cuddle- she really didn't want to like him, she just did. "Her hips?"  
  
"She thinks her hips are getting fat. And she wouldn't stop tickling my feet until I said 'Fat hips are ugly'. I held out as long as I could, but she's way too good at that, you know."  
  
Buffy grinned. "She learned from the best. In the morning, remind me to tell her welcome to my world."  
  
He growled. "When I'm better, both of you are severely getting it."  
  
She yawned. "Yeah, yeah." Then yawned for real.  
  
He snorted at her, but the look in his eyes was playful. He smiled. "Get some sleep, luv. You need it."  
  
She reached under the comforter and snagged the red satin sheet. She laid down under it beside the bed. "Mmm-kay."  
  
"Good night, luv."  
  
She pillowed her head on her arms and gave a sleepy smile. "Night." 


	12. Full Effect of the Flavor.

Buffy rolled over on the concrete floor, feeling the satin slide across her. Umph. Had to be the weirdest texture combination. Satin sheet, no pillow, concrete. Spike should start a Holiday Inn. She sat up, wincing as she heard her back crack. She stumbled to the small kitchenette, glaring at his coffee-maker till it made sense to her. Waiting for it to drip, she mumbled, "Stupid back. I slay for six-seven years, no big. Here comes the biiiig scary DoubleMeat, and bam! Bad Buffy Back."  
  
As soon as it hit the two cup mark, she jerked it out, and poured a cup in a mug she prayed Spike hadn't used for blood lately. Jammed it back it. "I hate you," she muttered. "I hate the world. I hate my back. I can't wait for the next apocalypse. I'll let you all fry."  
  
The coffee maker stopped sputtering out it's live-giving sustenance. She knew there was something wrong with it. She shook her thumb at it. "See this?? I can kill you ten different ways with it. Give!" She hit the top petulantly. Hopefully, "Please?"  
  
Spike heard her grumblings, and moreover sensed her absence from the floor near him. He sat up, blinked absently, yawned, and slowly stood up, stretching his injured side and hip slightly. He walked toward Buffy's voice. "Tap the on/off button a couple of times."  
  
She jumped, sloshing the still hot coffee over her hand. "Oww." She glared at the coffee-maker, knowing somehow, it was this things fault. She smacked the on/off button. "I hate you."  
  
Spike's eyes got wide and he rushed to her side, concern coming off him in waves. "Are you okay? Lemme see your hand."  
  
She waved him off. "Fine."  
  
He grabbed her hand anyway, looking at the minor burns. He turned on the cold water and held her hand beneath it. "I know you think you're invincible, but humor me."  
  
She shivered at his touch, awareness running through her. She was awake now. "Ok." Meekly.  
  
He smiled at her, and turned off the water. "The sun's not even up yet, and I'm already helping you. Here's another thing to add to the 'Weird Things About Spike' list." He looked at her hand again. "There. All better."  
  
She smiled, and picked up her mug. Took a sip, even though it was black. "Perfect." She put a hand sleepily to the back of her head, forgetting she was tousled, and hair-sticky-uppy. No lip-glossy. Pajama-ee  
  
He reached over and smoothed down a lock of hair that was standing at attention. Chuckled. "Want a brush, luv?"  
  
Her eyes rounded. Closed in embarrassment. "Way with the morning ugly, I assume."  
  
He smiled, kissed her forehead, and walked to the fridge. "I thought I told you that I think you're cute like that. Besides, I can't look much better."  
  
Her eyes roamed over his turned back. The hell he couldn't. Bed-sexy was definitely applicable here. She gave a mental, 'Rowr.'  
  
"Did you say somethin', luv?", Spike asked, keeping his back to her and rooting through the fridge.  
  
She smirked at the thought and took a sip of her coffee, promptly choking. "No. What'd you hear?"  
  
He turned around, holding an orange. "Dunno. Could've been Harm. Sounded like a cat."  
  
She shrugged. "Maybe he's hungry."  
  
Spike looked over to the cat's bowls that were on a mat in the shape of a giant Tweety Bird. "No. He's got plenty of dry food. And a little of the canned stuff left from last night." He glanced around, taking a small knife out of a drawer and proceeding to peel his orange. "Besides, I don't even see- Oh, there he is. On the couch with Dawn."  
  
She nodded, then looked up shyly. "Um... brush?"  
  
He looked at her for a moment. "You don't really need it now. I got rid of the one that was standing up. Now you're just cute. But if you want it, there's one on the nightstand. By my glasses case."  
  
She nodded, walked to retrieve it. Running it through her hair, she looked at his glasses case. "It has a Tigger."  
  
"I like Tigger," Spike replied, walking back into the 'bedroom' and offering her half the orange.  
  
She took it, set it on the bedstand for when she was done brushing her hair. "And it's not nice to tell me I look cute in the morning."  
  
He sat on the bed. "And why not?"  
  
"One. Lying upsets your soul. And two, My hair is sticky uppy, I have no lipgloss, and when I TRY to look pretty, no one notices. I think from now on I'll just walk around in pajamas and bad hair. Oh, I'll have to beat men off with a stake." She pantomimed beating guys off by swinging the brush in front of her.  
  
He chuckled and took a bite of orange. "One: I'm not lying. And Two: You're hair is cute, I don't care about the lip gloss, and I always notice that you're pretty. Because you always are."  
  
She was tingling, because he was tingling. He wanted to touch her. But couldn't figure out why she was running scared. She grinned, and started to eat her half of the orange. "Thank you."  
  
He grinned back and finished his half of the orange. "You're welcome."  
  
She leaned forward, compelled to do something constructive, and picked up her sheet off the ground. Froze as her back pulled, and a sickening feeling rolled through her stomach at the sound. She tried to contain her wince and set the sheet on the bed.  
  
Spike not only caught the wince, he felt her back catch. 'Damn, I thought the bond would be broken by now,' he thought. "Luv," he said aloud. "Do you.. Uh, is your back alright? Do you need me to rub it for you?" 'Absolutely no sexual undertone to THAT question,' he thought sarcastically.  
  
She looked at him cautiously. "It'll be ok."  
  
He ducked his head. "I won't hurt you, you know. I just want to help you feel better."  
  
She sighed. She was never gonna beat the whole 'bond' thing if she didn't work at it. "Sorry... everyone who's ever rubbed my back was... um... sucky. Do you... really want to?"  
  
"Yes. Besides, I owe you one, remember?", he said with a chuckle.  
  
She smiled. "Yeah. So.. um... how....?"  
  
He stood up. "Well, first you lay down. Do you want me to rub through your shirt, or roll it up?" He backpedaled. "Uh, that is, the pajama shirt, in back only..."  
  
She laid down on his bed, trying to read what he wanted. If there were any undertones. "You can roll it up."  
  
'Bloody idiot,' Spike thought, unaware that she could hear him. 'Way to make her nervous. She doesn't trust you yet.'  
  
Buffy immediately relaxed her body into the sheets. "Well, Mr. Magic Hands?" She had to make him more comfortable. When he was cozy, so was she.  
  
Spike gave an uncertain grin, and settled himself on the bed next to her, carefully rolling up the back of her pajama shirt, exposing the smooth skin of her back to him. "Ok. Now, where exactly does it hurt?"  
  
She said pitifully, "Ya know.. the back area."  
  
He grinned playfully, ran a finger up her spine. "There's a lot of back here, luv. I need directions."  
  
A small "Oh" escaped her lips. "Um... my spine. And low, and by my ribs?"  
  
He nodded. "Ok. Now tell me if anything is uncomfortable, luv." He started low on her back, alternately rubbing and gently using his knuckles to work out the first cramp that he found.  
  
She smiled lazily and propped her head on her folded arms. "Mmm..."  
  
He continued to work the muscle, gently, slowly, until the cramp was gone. Then he moved up to the other side. Repeated the motions with the cramp that he found there. And then for a moment just rubbed both sides at once, to relax the muscles completely and ensure that the cramps wouldn't come back. "How're we doin' so far, luv?"  
  
She moaned low in her throat. "Mmm... as long as we're not stopping for a few months, we're good..."  
  
He chuckled, then started on her spine. He ground his knuckles gently into the backbone, working out a cramp that seemed to stretch the entire length of the Slayer's back.  
  
She let out a sigh, ending with a contented smile.  
  
That cramp didn't want to go easily. It took a good fifteen minutes of rubbing and squeezing to remove it. Then, as he had done before, he continued his gently rubbing up and down her spine, making sure that it would be a long time before she got a cramp there again.  
  
Buffy was absolutely unaware of any noises she made while he was rubbing her spine. It felt so good, and easy, and loose...  
  
Spike chuckled. He thought that HE was the only one who could purr. "You hurting anywhere else, Slayer?"  
  
She tilted her head into the bed, exposing her neck. Anything, just not stopping. "Neck?"  
  
He grinned and obediently began rubbing her neck. There wasn't even a cramp there, but there was a minor amount of tension. He rubbed until even that was gone. "How's that?"  
  
She made a totally non-sensical noise. "Mngt."  
  
Spike held in a laugh, and kept rubbing, sliding his hands from her neck, down between her shoulder blades, all the way almost to her tail bone, then sliding back up, squeezing gently the whole way.  
  
Bliss. Pure bliss was hers, and she reveled in it. She was trying to keep the 'rawr' feelings to a minimum, but they were creeping up on her, just as his hands were creeping up her back.  
  
He slipped his hands around, rubbing between the ribs. If he had done it any lighter, it would have tickled. As it was, the feeling was total pleasure, and Spike knew it.  
  
Heat. Everything in her contracted and released at the same time, and now her whole being was focused on the measuring of her heartrate. Flashing through her mind was every time those hands had been on her, squeezing her ribs, her hips. Letting her know, that he knew, that her body was his.  
  
He continued with the ribs, alternating rubbing between them, and right on top of them. He could sense her feelings, and he knew that she was loving this. His hands went lower, rubbing the junction of ribs and hips, two fingers going under the elastic waist of her pajamas for a better grip. "Just tell me when you're ready to stop, luv."  
  
She whimpered in her head. Deep sexy voice. She took a quiet gasp of breath. "Now is fine."  
  
He obediently stopped, pulled her pajama shirt back down, and sat at the head of the bed.  
  
She laid still a moment, composing, pulling herself together. She sat up slowly, stretched. "Thank you."  
  
He smiled at her. "You're welcome. Feel better?"  
  
'Just a jumble of mental tension...' "Loads."  
  
He ignored the mental message, except to remind himself to do some research on the blood bond later. "So, I'm guessing that I'm not 'sucky', huh?"  
  
She smiled. "Consider yourself kidnapped."  
  
He cocked his head sideways. "Kidnapped?"  
  
She nodded, and laid back down on the bed on her back. "Mmm-hmm. I'm keeping you for my very own masseuse."  
  
He grinned. "Oh, that's not kidnapping. Especially if you agree to do the same for me from time to time." Chuckled. "Just go easy on the ribs. I don't want to kick my leg off."  
  
She smiled lazily. "Yeah, that makes ya feel good."  
  
He laughed. "You have no idea." He stretched out beside her on his side, looking at her. "I'm guessing you're relaxed, huh? Shot in the dark."  
  
She smiled, feeling his own lack of tension. "Mmm... totally and completely."  
  
He grinned, rolled onto his back and stretched, feeling his own back pop comfortably as he did.  
  
She tsk-ed him. "Gettin' old. You're starting to creak like our stairs."  
  
He chuckled. "You haven't heard my knees when I've been sitting a long time. Sounds like the cannons in the 1812 overture."  
  
She crinkled her nose. "Ew."  
  
"I'm kidding, luv. More like a champagne cork."  
  
A shudder ran through her body. "Sick."  
  
He grinned at her. "Come on, luv. Slayers don't get grossed out that easily. You can chop the head off a demon and watch the slime spray on a wall, but you can't take a few old bone sounds?"  
  
"It's the... popping-ness. That's fluid being pushed from their normal place with pressure. It's gross."  
  
"That's what happens when you open a coke."  
  
She gave him a droll look. "Wow. It's a good think I don't drink my own body fluids. Or that'd really be gross."  
  
Spike made a face. "I do not drink MY blood. So that doesn't even count."  
  
"Mmm-hmm..."  
  
He poked her hip just to make a playful point.  
  
She squirmed. "Don't take away the relaxedness."  
  
He chuckled. "Gotcha. No removing of relaxedness." Buffy sighed, looked at her sister snuggled on the couch. "How does she sleep like that?"  
  
Spike glanced at Dawn. "Dunno. The sleep of the innocent. She doesn't have any reason not to sleep like that, so she does."  
  
Buffy shrugged in agreement. "I can barely remember when I could sleep like that."  
  
"I can't remember mine at all," Spike said quietly.  
  
She glanced at him. "You can't remember your home?"  
  
He gave a rueful chuckle. "If you're talking about when I was human, not really. I told you, I didn't have any friends, my parents were too busy for me, and didn't care to boot. All I had going for me was my little sister who died when I was ten. I guess that's when I stopped being able to sleep like that."  
  
"How did she-"  
  
"Pneumonia. Nearly got me too."  
  
"Pneumonia? But that's-" She stopped. It wasn't fixable in the 1800's. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It was a long time ago." A sigh. "Doesn't matter anymore."  
  
She gave herself a second to prepare for the pain, then took his hand. "It always matters."  
  
He smiled. "How come you care about me? And why does Dawn? And why did your mum? I don't deserve people like you."  
  
Buffy rolled, still holding his hand, and kissed his cheek. "Everyone deserves people who care."  
  
He blinked back a tear. "But why do you care?"  
  
"I think we care because you have a big- if scheming- heart. And normal hearts just don't impress us."  
  
He chuckled. "Well, you're right about one thing. No one in this group is normal."  
  
"Yup. Normal is boring."  
  
He laughed, and nuzzled her gently. "Thanks for making me feel better, luv. You're getting good at this."  
  
Buffy could feel him mulling over something in the back of his mind. She needed to know what it was. She smiled at him. "Thanks. What are you worrying about?"  
  
He looked at her. "I'm not worried about anything."  
  
She shrugged, made something up quickly. "You had that line. Here." She poked a finger between his eyebrows.  
  
He 'grr'ed playfully, and batted her hand away. "Are you saying that I have wrinkles?" 'Change the subject,' he thought. 'Don't worry her. Not important.'  
  
She smiled, but heard his thoughts. "Lots when you get bumpy."  
  
"That doesn't count."  
  
She laid her head on his chest, relaxed. "Guess not." She laid in reflective silence, hoping he'd do the same.  
  
He slipped an arm around her, immensely enjoying their closeness, but still thinking. 'It should have worn off by now. No blood bond, Slayer's blood or not, should last more than two days. And yet... what the bloody hell is going on? Her feelings, her thoughts, sometimes. Not normal. At least, I don't think so. Maybe it is. After all, I've never had a bond with a living person, let alone a Slayer. Who's to say what's normal, anyway? Look at yourself. Vampire, without soul, falls for Slayer, becomes obsessed with not hurting her, and it get's bad enough that he goes and does the one thing he swore to never do: Get a bleedin' soul. And what good did it do, anyway? I wonder if she's figured out that I never wanted the chip out. That I was after the soul all along. Maybe I'll tell her... someday.'  
  
Buffy wiped her mind carefully clean. "Spike?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
She nuzzled him softly, and said, "I'm glad you're my friend."  
  
He smiled. "I'm glad we can be friends, after all I've put you through." Gave her a sideways hug.  
  
She shrugged. "And vice versa."  
  
"Naw. I'm much worse than you. All you really did was drop a church on me." He grinned. "And annoyed the hell out of me, but that's beside the point."  
  
She laughed. Distractions equals goodness. No more blood thinking. She put a hand softly on his chest, looked at his lips, then his eyes. "We're not always just going to be friends, though, right?"  
  
He smiled again. "I'm hoping for more. But it's really up to you. Whatever we wind up as, though, I hope nothing changes this. Being together, laughing, having fun, helping eachother. I hope that doesn't change, cause I like it."  
  
She smiled genuinely, touched her lips to his. A flood of emotions washed through both of their minds, some her's, and some his. Love, happiness, fear, pain, longing, and more love. Spike deepened the kiss, allowing his tongue to duel playfully with hers before pulling back and alternately nuzzling and kissing a path down her neck. Buffy tilted her neck, allowing him easier access. He continued blazing a trail down her throat, nipping playfully with his blunt teeth part of the time. True, she had wanted to shift his mind gears, but always, when he touched her body, he touched something inside. She lay on her back, looked up at him.  
  
Spike stopped, looked at the positions that they were in, and froze, a streak of fear racing through his mind. He wouldn't hurt her again. He couldn't move.  
  
Her hand snaked up to the back of his head, and she drew it back to her neck, head tilted up. Hoped he caught the significance. Trust.  
  
Spike relaxed and went back to his playful nipping and licking, under an ear this time. Knowing from experience that it was one of Buffy's weak spots, like his earlobe was one of his.  
  
A slow, female smile curved her lips, and under his, her body shook. In a rough whisper she said, "Cheater."  
  
"Takes one to know one, Slayer," he whispered in her ear, then shifted to do the same thing to the other side. Didn't want that side to feel left out.  
  
She ran her hands over his arms, her fingers playing with his own, then abandoning them to curl in his hair.  
  
Remembering the 'above the waist' rule, he slipped a hand into her pajama shirt, sliding it around her ribs. He purred while he kissed her neck, loving the feeling of her fingers in his hair.  
  
She arched her body into his touch, ducking her head to press her lips to his. Spike returned the kiss, purring into her mouth, his hands finding the spots on her sides that he knew so well. They rivaled the under her ears in sensitivity.  
  
She gently bit his bottom lip playfully, nibbled at each corner of his mouth, ran her tongue along the seam in his lips, dragging in a deep breath before they kissed.  
  
Spike moaned happily, and went back to her throat, going down over her chin and straight down her neck, stopping to nibble and lick just above her pajama neckline.  
  
She sighed, her body moving restlessly, one leg wrapping around Spike's. Spike paused. Looked her in the eyes. "Do you want to stop?", he said, panting slightly.  
  
She leaned her head back, pulling in deep breaths. "Dawn."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
She closed her eyes. "My sister is asleep on your couch... and I'm about to-"  
  
Spike grinned, kissed under an ear again, rubbing her side at the same time. "About to what?"  
  
She wrapped a leg around his, and hitched herself up for a bit more leverage, rubbed against him, sucking on his neck. "Something like that."  
  
Spike's eyes crossed momentarily, and he also forgot how to speak. "Uhgni.."  
  
She felt his pain. But still bit at his neck gently. "Mmm-hmm.."  
  
Spike moaned, and nearly lost his marginal control right there. "B-Buffy... stop.." But he was thinking just the opposite.  
  
Buffy pulled back, the arousal in voice and thoughts slightly throwing her. She scrambled off the bed. "I'm sorry."  
  
He sat up. "Wait... What? No. Don't be sorry, luv. I started it. It's my fault."  
  
Her own desire still rocking her system, she shook her head in disgust. How horrible could she be?? Her baby sister was sleeping on the couch, less then fifteen feet away, and here she was, jumping some guy. An incredibly hot guy, but never the less..  
  
"Luv, come back. Sit down. I'll be good. I promise."  
  
She glanced worriedly at the couch, his words not really registering. Still asleep.  
  
Unfortunately, it was then that he picked up a stray emotion. Disgust. He misinterpreted. "I.. uh.. have to go to the bathroom!", he said quickly. Hoping that the fact that vampires didn't pee wouldn't hit her until after he got away. 'Stupid, bloody vampire. You felt that emotion. She thinks you're disgusting. How could you ever think that she could love you?'  
  
Buffy sat on the bed, her head in her hands. Shit. Just.... Shit... and 'How could you ever think that she could love you?' -what? Where had that- ? Oh, God. Spike. She ran barefoot to the tunnel, knocked on the door. "Can you talk while you're in there?"  
  
The door was closed, but not locked. And she could hear the sounds of snuffling from inside. There was no answer. Not spoken, anyway. 'She'll go away. Just be quiet. Doesn't care.. Can't breathe.'  
  
She sat down outside the door. "Well, I can talk while you're in there. We can't- Spike... I like... I like... being with you... like that. But it was selfish of me to... to want to... be with you while my sister was here..."  
  
'Trying to make you feel better. Doesn't really mean it.' This thought was followed by a now audible sobbing. Then the sink turned on. 'Drown the sound out. Don't let her see.'  
  
"If she had woken up... I can't... She doesn't... understand that kind of want... that need. I care Spike. I care what she thinks of me. And... and you. And of us, being together. I want her to... respect it. And how can she when I can be so reckless?"  
  
'Maybe she does care? No.. Maybe? Don't know. Can't breathe.'  
  
She laid a hand on the knob, turned it. She walked in, closed the door, and sat on the floor. "Hey."  
  
Spike was curled up in the corner next to the toilet, also on the floor. He glanced up. His eyes were reddened by the tears, and they were still falling. "Why'd you come in?", he asked quietly.  
  
She shrugged. "Why'd you run away?"  
  
He sniffed. "Felt like it." 'Don't like you seeing me cry. Weak. Pitiful, William.'  
  
She sighed. "We weren't gonna walk away anymore. Crying doesn't make you... pitiful."  
  
'Pathetic.' "I didn't walk. I trotted."  
  
She gave him a half smile. "Har har." She glanced down. Her toes were cold. "I wish I could cry."  
  
He looked at her. "Why can't you?" 'If you're out of tears, I've got some to spare,' he thought sarcastically.  
  
Shrugged. "I dunno. I can cry for other people. People I care about... But I'm kinda all cried out over me."  
  
He "pfft"ed. "Apparently, I'm not. Hundred and thirty years old, and I'm still just a wimpy, bad poetry writing, poofter."  
  
She looked at him. "I really really like you. I could even fall in love with you. I like your poetry. I love that you can cry, and you were strong enough to carry a fifteen year old emotionally after her mom and sister died." She raised a hand for his silence. "I'm not done."  
  
He had opened his mouth, but quickly closed it.  
  
"You've gained the respect and friendship of people who have done nothing for the past seven years but think of creative ways to dust you. You've averted apocalypses, and have a soul. And you happen to be pretty damn hot." She could have sworn that the vampire blushed. "So what, exactly, is the sad, pitiful, pathetic weak part of that? Because I fail to see it."  
  
He looked at her, his thoughts jumbled. 'Is she right? But what about... Doesn't matter? Could fall in love with me? She likes me?' He made an amused noise. "Define 'respect and friendship', because I don't really see it in anyone but you, the Bit, Red, and sometimes Rupert. Anya is confusing, and I know Harris really doesn't like me, if not downright hates me."  
  
She frowned. "Well, Spike, usually, after a one night stand? You don't see the person anymore. If you have any questions about Standard Operating Procedure there, ask Parker. He's great at it. She kinda sees you all the time. And so does the ex that caused the fling." She smiled. "To my saintly credit, I never hit Anya."  
  
Spike growled. "Don't mention Parker, the asshole." He looked at her. "Did you want to? Hit Anya, I mean."  
  
She considered. "I used to. I had to not see her for a couple days. But no. I understand."  
  
He looked at her hopefully. "You do? What do you understand about it? Cause I'm still unclear." He thought. "Could have been the whiskey."  
  
She said softly, "Tequila, Jack Daniel's, and brandy."  
  
He chuckled. "Yeah. I'm this close to quitting drinking entirely after that. Now, what do you understand?"  
  
Her eyes focused hazily on the floor. "If it's not about emotion, then it's about feeling. Wanting to feel something."  
  
He nodded. "That's how some relationships start, isn't it. When you want someone to take the hurt away?"  
  
She looked him in the eye. "You wanted caring. So did she."  
  
"I meant with you and I."  
  
Panic. Pure unadulterated panic swept her system clear of anything she could say to help herself out. Yes. Panic, and desperation. "What do you mean?"  
  
Spike looked at her, feeling the panic that was coursing through her. He forced himself to ignore it. "When you started with me, it was just so that you could feel something. Is it still like that?"  
  
"D-Do I feel something? Of course I feel something. It's not... not just about feeling something now. I... It's..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"It's caring. I care about you. I care for you."  
  
He felt tears threatening again, but held back. 'Enough of being a poofter for one night,' he thought with a mental growl. "You care... About me? But you don't love me." That was not a question. He honestly believed it.  
  
She felt her shoulders hunching up, protecting from the emotional blows she was feeling. "Why are you pushing me?" she cried.  
  
He slowly stood up. Walked two steps closer, and sat down again, within arms reach this time. "I'm sorry, luv. I know that it's hard for you. I just wish I knew why. It's so easy for me to tell you how I feel. I don't understand why it's so hard for you. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to push you." He considered offering a hug, but decided against it. No need to tempt fate.  
  
She ran a hand over her face. Said tiredly, "We said... we promised. Slow. You haven't even been back for two months, and we almost... with Dawn in the room."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"And... I know... I know you want a big emotional... thing, scene, and I can't... I'm not good at them, Spike. And, ya know what? Sure. I'm scared. Too much, too fast." She gave him a gentle look. "But.. good at the same time."  
  
He nodded. "I know. I'm scared too. I've never felt anything like this, and the... intensity.. It frightens me." He wiped away a stray tear on her face. "And you're right. This is good. Good that we can talk, can connect, can understand what the other one thinks and feels. But you know what?"  
  
A quiet, slightly fearful, "What?"  
  
He gave a small chuckle. "There's such a thing as TOO much understanding. I don't know what you're getting, but I'm ready for this blood bond to break." He looked at her. "Unless it's just me who's still getting thoughts and emotions."  
  
She shrugged. ""Lightly, once in a while. But not... uber-heavy emotion stuff."  
  
He looked at her. "Yeah? What're you getting?"  
  
She shrugged again. "I got sad at work, but it wasn't... 'I work at the Double Meat' sad. It wasn't my grief."  
  
He took a quick breath. "The tower dream? You felt that?"  
  
"I didn't.... see your dream, if that's what you mean. I just felt, sad, kinda hysterical for a couple seconds. What- what do you get?"  
  
He cocked his head. "I'm not sure. Earlier today, I thought I was getting actual words. A word here, a sentence there. But when we were... almost.. you know... I felt almost as if I was in two bodies at once. Strange. Did you get that?"  
  
She cocked her head to the side, pretended to consider. "A little..." 'like four times that...'..."Yeah."  
  
He grinned. "And there's a sentence. And I quote: "like four times that.." ."  
  
She gave him a quick grin. "I was testing."  
  
"Oh, were you, now?"  
  
Gave a shaky sigh. "Go you with the mind reading!" Bright cheery smile.  
  
He ducked his head. "I hope... I hope that not everything you've gotten from me was all... painful stuff."  
  
She shook her head. "No.. sometimes, I feel really... easy, content, and I know that's not mine either. But no scenes... no words."  
  
"Oh. I guess it's stronger on my end."  
  
Buffy shrugged helplessly. "Sorry."  
  
"Come on, luv," Spike said, standing up and offering her a hand. "Let's go wake your sis. It's time for the two of you to head home."  
  
She nodded. "Yeah... We've got groceries to get..." She took his hand, stood.  
  
Spike, in true chivalrous fashion, held the door for her. "After you."  
  
She gave him a weird look then trooped into the crypt. And found Dawn sitting on the couch, curled into a ball, knees tight to her chest, arms crossed, looking suspiciously like she had been crying, her face infinitely unsure and scared.  
  
Spike immediately sat down next to her. "What's wrong, Lil' Bit? You have a nightmare?" He gently rubbed small circles on her back.  
  
Dawn swallowed, looked like she finally got her bearings and said softly. "Yeah. Real nightmare."  
  
He hugged her softly. "What happened, Niblet?"  
  
Buffy crossed more slowly, grabbing a glass of water on her way. Knelt in front of her. "Dawnie... What happened?" Looked at Spike's gullible face and said, "Really."  
  
Dawn grabbed the water and drank defensively. "I told you. Nightmare."  
  
Spike snorted at the Slayer, then turned his attention back to Dawn, not completely letting go of her.  
  
Buffy swept a hand across Dawn's face, moving stray pieces of her hair out of her watery eyes. "You wake up screaming from nightmares, Dawnie. Who's bed did you used to sneak into?"  
  
At her sisters defiant eyeroll, she grabbed Dawn's chin gently. "Tell me."  
  
"Come on, Bit," the vampire added. "Tell us. Maybe we can help."  
  
Dawn receded more into the corner of the couch, slowly pulling from both their touches. "I heard you yelling."  
  
Spike glanced at Buffy, a worried look on his face. "Yeah. We had a bit of a fight. But we worked it out. We're okay, now. Right, Slayer?"  
  
Buffy nodded. Emphatically. "Way ok. See, Dawn? We're ok."  
  
Dawn got stiff. "That's what mom and dad would say, Buffy, and you know it."  
  
Her sister winced. She did, indeed. She took a deep breath.  
  
Spike looked at Buffy, totally clueless about what to do. 'Teenagers are so confusing,' Spike thought, deliberately thinking loudly so that the Slayer would hear it.  
  
"Dawn... sometimes, we- especially Spike and I- need to shout to get our point across." She shook her head at Spike. She knew exactly. Painfully exactly what her sister meant. She continued. "It doesn't mean we hate eachother, or... or that anyone is... is gonna get hit." She looked at Dawn meaningfully.  
  
Dawn looked at her sister hopefully.  
  
Spike tried to help. "We've spent nearly the entire time that we've known each other beating the crap out of each other. Old habits die hard. And all we did was yell. And we don't even usually do that."  
  
Buffy said cautiously, "We could hurt eachother, Dawn. We might say things we don't mean." Her hand petted Dawn's knee through the blanket.  
  
Spike grinned at Buffy. "Actually, we've been getting along quite well lately."  
  
She gave him a look. 'A little more innuendo for my sister, please??' "But we'll work it out, too. And it will never, ever change how we are around you."  
  
Dawn was visibly relaxing.  
  
Buffy said, "If we do fight, Dawn, I'll never forbid you to go see him, I promise. And if he's mad at me, he'll never -ever- get mad at you, too." She looked at Spike for confirmation. "Right, Spike?"  
  
Spike chuckled. "What matters is that we're trying, Bit. We can't ask too much of each other right now, because neither of us is ready. And, when one of us pushes the wrong button, the other one yells. It's what we do." He gave Dawn a gentle hug. "She's right. I'll never be mad at you."  
  
Dawn tucked her hair behind her ears. "So... you're like... not mad? Or anything?"  
  
Spike grinned. "Nope. I'm feeling pretty good. How're you, Slayer?"  
  
She smiled. "Better. Because we talked it out, Dawnie. A little loudly, but... we're fine now. How are you?"  
  
Dawn shrugged. "Better."  
  
Spike smiled at the teenager. "Good. Now, you two had better run along home, before it's too late and Rupert comes back and beats me up again for keeping you so long."  
  
Dawn gaped. "Giles did WHAT?"  
  
Buffy covered quickly. "He's kidding, Dawn."  
  
'Oops', Spike thought. 'Sorry. Thought she knew.' "Yeah, Bit. Kidding."  
  
"Giles came looking for me, and he and Spike had words. That's all. He's scared of Giles being all grrr-British-on-his-butt."  
  
Dawn giggled.  
  
"HEY! I'm not scared of Rupert," Spike snorted, then moved to the other end of the couch, away from the sisters. "Me? Scared of a Watcher? What's next? Running from Harris?"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes at Dawn, who looked decidedly better. "C'mon, Dawn. Grab a pair of my clothes and go change, brush your teeth, that stuff. Then we've gotta go shopping."  
  
Dawn hopped up, revealing her jamma-wear. Old sweats, way too long, and a black tee-shirt. "Anything I want?"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, gave a fake groan of pain. "You are SUCH an operator. Anything."  
  
Spike stood up decidedly slower and walked to the bed, leaving the sisters to figure this out. He laid down, content to watch.  
  
Dawn grabbed her cutest clothes and scampered off to the bathroom before her sister changed her mind.  
  
"Hurt them and your *dead*!" Buffy called after her. Her only response was the bathroom door slamming.  
  
Spike chuckled from his spot on the bed. "Sure you can handle her, luv? She's a handful."  
  
Buffy flopped on her back, on the bed beside Spike. "No... Ugh... I'll never see those pants again." She smiled at him. "How do you think I did?"  
  
He pretended to think. "Hmm. I give it a 5.8 for presentation, and a 6.0 for technical merit."  
  
She flopped a hand out to smack him half-heartedly. "No way. I give it a 10."  
  
He chuckled and rolled out of the way of her hand, causing her to hit the pillow instead. "I was doing figure skating scores, luv. 6.0 is the highest."  
  
"Oh." She gave a smug grin. "Yeah. Definitely a six."  
  
"I thought you'd know that. You used to skate, didn't you? You've got that little picture of you on your desk."  
  
She shook her head. "Only for fun."  
  
"Ah. Now me, I've never done anything like that. Don't have the natural grace for it. I'd look like a penguin, while you're a swan."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah... and I hear blah-blah-blah-blah- I'm full of crap-blah-blah-blah..."  
  
"Oh come on, luv. I mean it. I would like to ask you somethin', though. About something that I overheard you think a while ago."  
  
Her eyes grew round, and she trailed off on her 'blah''s that she had kept up through his speech. "Huh?"  
  
"When we were.. kissing, earlier. After we pulled back. I very clearly heard the word 'disgust'. I just wanted to know..." He looked away, then back again, determined to face her answer. "Do you... Was it me that disgusted you?"  
  
She pursed her lips. "No." In her mind, unnoticed by her, it echoed firmly. "I was just... It was directed to me."  
  
He looked at her. "You were disgusted with yourself? For kissing me? Or for almost.. when Dawn was in the room?" He looked at her, his blue eyes half closed. "Because I'd hate to think that the soul has made me a bad kisser."  
  
She blushed, very, very lightly. "She could have woken up at anytime... She can't- I don't even want her to understand how much I want you."  
  
He gave a wolfish grin. "Want me? Well, I'm free now..." He leaned toward her, his body language and mind telling her that, no matter what he'd just said, he wasn't going any further than she would let him.  
  
She smiled back, reached forward, ran a hand down his chest. A welcome if she had ever given one. He purred at her touch, and pulled her into a kiss. Lovingly touching his cold lips to her warm ones. She drew in his bottom lip, nibbled it softly. Spike nuzzled her, resting their foreheads together as he mimicked her actions with her lip and his teeth. Her body responded to the touch, moving closer.  
  
Spike slid a hand around her, rubbing her back in a gentle, calming motion. It served not to get either of them too worked up, while allowing some of the touch that the vampire craved. He pulled from her mouth for a moment, and playfully kissed the tip of her nose. She scrunched her nose playfully, enjoying his touch, adding her own to the front of his chest, above the bandages for his ribs. Spike grinned for a moment, before returning to her mouth, allowing his tongue to play across her lips. At the same time, he pushed into her hands, loving the contact. Like an overgrown cat. Her mouth opened under his, her hands kneading at his chest gently.  
  
Spike purred as his tongue dueled playfully with the Slayer's. He nuzzled her forehead again. 'Do you want to stop?', he asked in thought.  
  
Before she formulated an answer, or thought to pretend she hadn't heard it, the door to the bathroom opened.  
  
"Oops," Spike said, quickly laying back, so that it just looked like they'd been laying side by side the whole time. Except for the fact that Buffy's lips were slightly swollen, and Spike had some of her lipgloss on his mouth. He quickly licked it off.  
  
Buffy smiled at her sister as she pranced in, made up, hair shining- as usual. "Geez. Took long enough. Get lost?"  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes at her sister, then said pointedly to Spike, "You missed some, top lip, left corner." She arched a brow at her sister. "Putting gloss on Spike now?"  
  
Spike tried to look innocent. "Well, you painted my nails, what else was left for her to do?"  
  
Dawn shrugged. "I suppose when I put gloss on Andrew, I'll do it the same way. Ya know, ramming my mouth to his in hopes he gets the full effect of the flavor."  
  
Buffy's chin dropped.  
  
Spike snarled loudly and sat up, then laid back down at a pain in his ribs. "Ooh. Ouch. Ok, not done healing yet."  
  
Buffy's mouth moved. Apparently, someone had hit her mute button. "Mmm.. Dawn!!" There it was. Volume.  
  
Spike, meanwhile, was rubbing his side through the bandage. "Bloody stupid bones. Heal already!", he muttered, along with a few choice words in a language that neither Summers knew.  
  
Buffy spared him a glance, put a hand gently to her side. "I think, that it's time to go."  
  
Spike looked up from his rib rubbing. 'You feel that?', he thought at her. 'Nod or shake your head.'  
  
She pretended not to hear, but it made her speaking to Dawn difficult. "Say g.. bye to Spike." She was feeling frosty.  
  
Dawn grinned, and chirped, "Bye, Spike. See you tonight? Oh. No. Mindy's. But.... Saturday, yeah?"  
  
Spike grinned at the younger Summers. "Yeah, Saturday. And no tickling me this time."  
  
She nodded. "I promise."  
  
Buffy planted a hand in her sister's back. "March."  
  
"Goodbye, girls," Spike called after them. 'See you, luv,' he added mentally.  
  
She gave a small jolt. 'Just... walk,' she told herself sternly. "Bye!" The Summer's echoed together.  
  
'Don't you wish it was that easy?' 


	13. She Claimed.

Buffy leafed through the old spellbook madly, finding the page quickly. She scanned it, looking for any qualifiers, one-time-only deals, or such nonsense. Relief. So.... she could do it again. Cloak it, let him drink, and his ribs would mend. Besides, until she figured out that 'truth and light' crap, they were stuck bonded anyway...  
  
"What are you reading, Buffy?", Giles asked suddenly. How long had he been behind her?!  
  
She jumped. "Hey, Giles. Just... um.. ancient texts. It was laying out." She shrugged. "Didn't have a magazine..."  
  
He looked over her shoulder. "Cloaking spells?"  
  
She shrugged again. "Sounded cool. But not... 'I'd do the spell' cool... Just... spiffy."  
  
Giles chuckled. "Buffy, you never cease to surprise me. But you don't need to read that. It's all about spells that involve blood. Some of them can be very powerful, even dangerous."  
  
"Really? Wow. Hadn't gotten that far. Dangerous?"  
  
"Certain blood oriented spells have things tied up in them. Bonds, mental links, things that are impossible to break. It could drive a person insane." He smiled at her. "But I suppose that I don't need to tell you this. After all, there wouldn't be any need to use such a spell around here."  
  
"Right. And we know better than to mess around with magic now anyway."  
  
Giles chuckled again. "Quite. I believe we've all had quite enough of that sort of thing for awhile." He walked past her, picking up another book on the way, a book on vampires. "Oh, and I thought you might want this. To help you with Spike."  
  
She glanced at it. "The title is in... um... not English, Giles... How...?"  
  
"Spike should be able to read it. It's in vampiric. But there is a way to translate it to English, if you don't want him to see how concerned you are."  
  
She nodded. "That one."  
  
Giles took the book back and headed for the back room. "I'll be right back."  
  
"Ok." As he walked to the back, she sat in relief. Oh man... close close close....  
  
A moment later, Giles returned, carrying two books. One was the old one, in vampiric, and the other one was in English. "An Encyclopedia of Vampires, and All Things Pertaining To Them", it said. "Here you go, Buffy. There's a lot of stuff that's mostly boring, but there's some parts on healing, and things that vampires like and dislike. Of course, it's impersonal, every vampire is different, but I hope it helps."  
  
She smiled, and stood. She gave him a hug and a small kiss. "You're being really great."  
  
She smiled, hugged him again. "That, I guess. Thanks, Dad. I'm gonna get crackin on my boyfriend wanna-be." She waved the text at him and walked out the door.  
  
Giles waved back and watched her go.  
  
==============================================  
  
Spike sat on the couch, watching the last few minutes of Passions. It was a rerun, and not a particularly interesting episode, so he was fighting dozing off.  
  
Buffy sounded a knock at the crypt door, wondering why she did when she barely ever got an answer.  
  
Spike started and nearly fell off the couch. "Come in?", he said, resituating himself.  
  
Buffy went to the stairs, made her way down. "Hey Gimpy."  
  
"..grrr.. Don't call me that."  
  
He shook his head. "A whole lot of nothing. You just missed Passions."  
  
She shook her head. "Darn."  
  
"Once more, with feeling. Make me believe it, Slayer."  
  
She shuddered. "Why must you haunt me with that?"  
  
He chuckled. "It wasn't exactly my idea of a fun week either, luv."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. How's the ribs?"  
  
He made a face. "Annoying. Making little grindy noises when I bend over. Hurts a bit, too."  
  
She smacked his shoulder. "Hello? Not supposed to bend over."  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"Part of the whole, stay still so it'll heal, you sack of stupid!"  
  
Spike gave her an indignant look, then laughed. "May I just say that your insults do not carry the sting that they once did?"  
  
She stuck her nose in the air. "Whatever. You don't even sling them anymore."  
  
"Thorn."  
  
She snorted. "See? That sucked."  
  
"It has sentimental value."  
  
"I happen to remember one Chippy trying to bite someone." She made retarded sucking noises, then started chanting, "I think I can... I think I can..."  
  
He growled. "Ok, I've got one, then." He paused for effect, also to weigh if the definite possibility of her hitting him was worth the insult. It fit. "Slutty the Vampire Layer."  
  
She stopped, mid-retarded sucking noise, hand poised in the position. Blinked.  
  
He grinned. "Ha. I win."  
  
She pouted. "I hate you."  
  
"I love you too, honey."  
  
She glared, shoved a hand to his shoulder. Her eyes gleamed. "William the Bloody, one fourth the Scourge of Europe... at a tea-party with Ms. Edith...."  
  
Spike stared at her. "I never attended tea parties with dolls."  
  
She glanced at him thoughtfully. "Did Dru ever have you wear a dress to cake and a cuppa?"  
  
Spike snarled. "You're pushing it, Slayer."  
  
She tapped her chin. "Then I must be close.... Bonnet, maybe?"  
  
He growled again. "Keep going, and you're going to regret it."  
  
She snapped her fingers. "Pantyhose with garters? Cuz that's the stuff grudges are made of. Slip? Heels? Come on. Let me know."  
  
Spike let out a roar and threw a leg over her lap, effectively pinning her to the couch. He quickly went for the spots that she had shown him the week before. The indents of her hips, both sides at once.  
  
She squealed. "FISHNETS!!!!!!"  
  
He snarled playfully. "I'll show you fishnets.." He continued his tickling, moving up to her ribs on one side, continuing on her hip with the other.  
  
She squirmed helplessly, laughing.  
  
"Now, say 'Spike doesn't wear girl clothes'.." He moved the hand that was on her ribs to her stomach, just above the bellybutton, a weak spot that they shared.  
  
"Spike..." She snorted, tossed her hips. "Wears a girdle."  
  
Spike didn't mean to laugh at that, but he did. "Spike... doesn't... wear... girl clothes... Say it, Slayer, or you'll die laughing." But he hadn't taken their bond into account. Even as he tickled, HE was beginning to feel it.  
  
She tossed her hips again, laughing. "He..." Snicker. "doesn't...."  
  
Spike laughed slightly, trying to concentrate despite the feeling of phantom fingers tickling his stomach. "Yeah? Come on."  
  
"He.... wears..." She kept squirming, kind of forgetting their alignment. Laughed again. "Ladies clothes..."  
  
Spike snorted, and moved his leg slightly, getting better leverage. "Try again..." This was followed by a snort of laughter.  
  
She finally got it... she laid still and let him tickle her.  
  
Spike was fighting hard now. With her not moving, it had gotten ten times worse. He snorted and laughed, trying to concentrate. It wouldn't take much to make him crack, and he hoped that she didn't see that.  
  
She chose his indecisive moment to pounce. She rolled, switching their positions. Now she was straddling his lap. She had grabbed his hands in the transition, now pinning them at his sides. She moved them slowly up, so they were over his head. Easier to keep an eye on.  
  
"HEY!", he yelped. "What're you doing?"  
  
She laughed. "Winning." She leaned forward and nipped at his collarbone, hoping she had read the book correctly.  
  
Spike's eyes got wide, and then crossed. What was she doing to him?  
  
She recalled the text in her mind. 'Sensitive to medium stimulation in the neck, and collarbone. Hands, ribs.' She moved her thumbs where they were caught in his closed palms, massaging lightly.  
  
Spike fought it for a moment, then began to purr, his body relaxing against his will.  
  
She kept her thumbs moving, and nuzzled his neck, choosing to ignore his ribs until they healed.  
  
Spike relaxed completely, and let out a strange chirping sound, like a baby bird.  
  
She kissed across his collarbone, looked at him.  
  
His eyes were closed, and the purr was coming from deep in his chest, along with more of those chirping/chittering sounds.  
  
Buffy let his hands go, but brought one to her lips.  
  
Spike cracked one eye, looking up at Buffy. "What's.. what're you doin'?", he slurred out. It was almost like he was drunk on the pleasure that she was giving him.  
  
She started at his wrist, kissing it gently, moving over his hand, making his fingers straight. At the tip of his middle finger, she softly scraped her teeth down to the heel of his thumb. She nipped softly at it for a moment, then repeated her motions to his other hand.  
  
Spike purred loudly, and attempted to grab her, to pull her closer. A happy moan escaped his lips.  
  
She let him, liking being near him. She looked at her new position. Gracelessly hauled up against him, her face squished against his neck. She made the best of her situation, biting softly at it, licking and sucking at his neck gently.  
  
He purred happily, and nuzzled her with his cheek. He moaned again. "Luv? If you have to win everytime... can you please do it like this? As opposed to tickling me senseless."  
  
She laughed on an out-going breath, looked in his half-lidded eyes. She licked her lips, started to say something. Stopped, smiled softly.  
  
He glanced at her, not opening his eyes anymore, so as not to remove the blissful mood he was in. "What?"  
  
"I was gonna ask if you've been drinking, or if I really do that. But I don't care. I'm gonna think I do."  
  
He chuckled. "Nope. I haven't had a drink in over two weeks. And I haven't smoked since I got my soul."  
  
She nodded. "I know. It's missing from your scent..." She ran a finger down his chest thoughtfully. "Just me? Really?"  
  
He shivered pleasurably at her touch. "Only you."  
  
Her own eyes heated at his voice, but she steadied herself. "What's the other noise?"  
  
"Other noise?"  
  
She shrugged. "Cricket... baby-bird noise?"  
  
He chuckled. "You won't believe me, but I was trying to talk to you. It was just coming out in vampiric."  
  
She traced small patterns on the upper part of his chest, now shy and curious. "What were you saying?"  
  
He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her fingers on his chest. "Just that I loved what you were doing, and that I didn't want you to stop. And that I love you. Just your basic love starved vampire stuff."  
  
She inched up on his lap, closer to him. "Say my name."  
  
"Huh? Buffy."  
  
She shook her head, smiling. "Vampiric... and... slayer."  
  
"Oh." Happy chirpy noise, followed by a snorting growl.  
  
She laughed. "Say... I love you, don't stop touching me."  
  
He chuckled, then let out a string of crossed purr/chirps, ending in a loud clicking noise.  
  
She frowned. "You are mine. No one will have you but me."  
  
He opened his eyes. "Uh, luv, that one ends in an action. I'd have to claim you to do it right. But here's the rest." Purring growl, followed by combined growling chirps.  
  
She nodded. The sounds had echoed in her head when they'd slept together before. When he- She stopped her thoughts. "That's neat."  
  
He laughed. "It's nothing. The whole language is instinctive. And it's different for the different families. Not so different that they can't understand each other, mind you, but different enough. Like an accent."  
  
She nodded. "Oh."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
She thought hard. Any other things he had murmured? "I hate loving you? Or... um.. I hate you."  
  
He cocked his head to the side. "Huh? Why?"  
  
She shrugged. "Just curious."  
  
He looked at her. "Ok. Uh, the "I hate you" would go like this..." A long, deep growl, punctuated by multiple snorts.  
  
She nodded. She had heard THAT in early fights from time to time.  
  
He thought. " 'I hate loving you', hmm? I'm not even sure how to do that. It's kind of strange. I guess..." Deep growl, two snorts, high pitched purring chirp.  
  
She jerked her head to the side. Vaguely familiar... but not from his lips. She shook her head. "I guess that's it."  
  
He chuckled. "Writing a vampiric to English dictionary, luv?"  
  
She grinned. "I just wanna know when you backtalk me."  
  
He laughed. "Oh, believe me, if I had something mean to say about you, I would say it in English." He cocked his head. "Were you testing me? To see what I'd said before?"  
  
She looked in his eyes. "I wanted to know what you've said."  
  
He smiled. "And what did you find out?"  
  
Jerky smile. "Enough."  
  
He nodded. "Who said that they hated loving you? I caught a flash of recognition on that one."  
  
She gave a careless smile. "Angel."  
  
Spike snarled. "The bloody BASTARD!! I'll tear him apart." Followed by a string of vampiric curse words. All low growls and snorts.  
  
She saw his forehead start to turn and his eyes flash yellow, so she nuzzled his neck gently.  
  
Spike calmed slightly, but continued muttering in two languages. "How dare he.." Growl/snort. "Ever say anything to you like that.. the .." Loud snarling growl/snort.  
  
She ran her hands over his arms. "It's all right... " Framed his face with her hands. "It doesn't matter anymore, Spike."  
  
"Bloody.." Growl. ".. it doesn't." His eyes flashed again.  
  
The thoughts pouring from him were a jumble, and they were confusing her. "Really.... Spike, stop. It doesn't matter." A high wave of violence rose in her. That was what the turning felt like....  
  
"Yes it does.. He never EVER should have said that. Loving you is a privilege that he's not worthy of."  
  
She smiled, slightly disoriented. "That's sweet."  
  
He was vamped now, still muttering through his fangs. He paused, looked at her. "Sweet?"  
  
Her eyes were quite filmed over, her brain felt fuzzy. "Hm?"  
  
He shook his head, returning to normal. "Luv, are you okay?"  
  
Everything was more sensitive now... hearing, smell, her own heart beat- it stopped. She took a deep breath. "Yeah. Fine."  
  
He looked concerned. "What happened?"  
  
She cocked her head to the side. "I... felt it..."  
  
"Felt what?"  
  
"The anger, and... and violence, and... I could smell my own blood, and hear my own blood..."  
  
Spike drew in a breath. She had felt him vamp out, as if it had been her. "Sorry, luv. I won't do it again. Just got kind of mad there. Are you alright now?"  
  
She looked at him. "I could smell you wanting me... and wanting Angel dead."  
  
He swallowed. "You... smelled that? Luv, can I try something?"  
  
She snapped herself out of the daze she was in. "Sure."  
  
"Ok. Tell me if you don't want to do this. I'm gonna vamp out, and then say something in vampiric. I want you to tell me what I said, ok?"  
  
She swallowed. "O-ok."  
  
"You're sure that you want to do this? You can control it? The bloodlust, I mean. I don't want you trying to bite yourself."  
  
She was confused. "Bite myself?"  
  
"You're the only living thing in here, besides Harm, and I don't know where he is. If it gets strong, the instinct is to bite the closest living thing, in this case, you. I don't want you taking a chunk out of your arm."  
  
She nodded. "Will you- hold my hands, just in case?"  
  
"Good idea." He gently took her hands. "Ready?"  
  
She licked her lips slowly. "Ok."  
  
Spike took a deep breath, and changed. His teeth lengthening into fangs, his forehead going bumpy, his blue eyes changing to a glowing yellow/gold. "How you doin' so far, luv?"  
  
Her senses were overloading. She could smell him, and her, and Dawn from yesterday, hear everything... Her blood, the dead blood in his veins...  
  
"Come on, Slayer. Talk to me."  
  
She whimpered softly. "Ok..."  
  
"I can shake it off if you want to stop."  
  
She shook her head. "Go."  
  
He nodded, and released a string of highpitched chirp/purrs, trying to calm her. *It's ok, luv,* he said. *I'm still here. I love you.*  
  
She swallowed. "Promise you love me?"  
  
"*I promise with all my undead heart.*"  
  
She panted slowly, her mouth hanging partway open. "Ok..." Her hands tightened into fists. "I'm hungry."  
  
"*That's cause I'm hungry.*"  
  
She sniffed. "I can smell me in you."  
  
"*Me too, luv.*"  
  
She bit her lip, hard. "How do you stand this? It's so much."  
  
"*What in particular?*"  
  
Her bottom lip started to bleed. "Smells. Sound... I can hear the fridge upstairs. I can smell the blood we didn't clean off the floor."  
  
"*I know, luv. Try to focus.*"  
  
She licked at the blood beading on her lip. "On what?"  
  
He gently took both her hands in one of his and wiped her lip with the other. "*Remember, it's like this for me all the time. Not just when I'm vamped. What's different for you?*"  
  
"There's so much... So many memories."  
  
"*Memories?*" This was unexpected.  
  
"And..." Her eyes crashed shut. "God. You did Harm on the couch??"  
  
He chuckle/purred. "*Only once. It was convenient. I'm talking physical. For instance, can you see any better than before?*"  
  
Her eyes opened, swung around the room. "Colors are sharper. Dark isn't so dark."  
  
"*Look at your wrist.*"  
  
Her lip was still bleeding. She licked at it again. Glanced at her wrist. Saw every vein in it, lightly clouded by her skin.  
  
"*That's why vamps don't miss. You're a walking roadmap.*"  
  
She took a deep breath, licked her lips again. "Tastes... not like copper."  
  
"*Oh?*"  
  
"Burns like.. whiskey... but... honeyed... sweet... warm...."  
  
"*Yeah. Now you're getting it.*"  
  
She leaned forward, licked at his neck.  
  
"You taste different... Deeper."  
  
Spike made a quiet gurgling sound. "*Oh?*"  
  
She licked again, sniffed. "Me in you..."  
  
"*Always,*" he replied instinctively.  
  
She bit down sharply on his neck, lapped at the blood. "*You in me...*"  
  
"*Forever,*" Spike replied, closing his eyes, completing the instinctively ingrained ceremony. She had claimed him.  
  
She sucked at his neck, licking at the rapidly healing cut. "Better than me...." She took a deep breath. "Your blood tastes better than mine..."  
  
Spike opened his eyes, looked at her. Had what he just thought happened actually happened? He shook off the vampire visage. "Are you okay, luv?"  
  
Her eyes slowly took on their normal hue and size. Her senses slowly dulled, and she pulled in shallow breathes.  
  
He rubbed her shoulders. "Hey, you in there, Slayer?"  
  
She looked at him. "All the time? You're like this all the time?"  
  
He chuckled ruefully. "Yep."  
  
She licked her lips again, her blood still tasted different to her. "I'll never-" Her eyes riveted on his neck. "Oh my God. I bit you."  
  
"Yeah. And? It's normal."  
  
She was still shaky. "How is biting you normal? I'm... a person..."  
  
"You've never seen a claiming before? Cause you did the ritual perfectly. Even spoke in vampiric for a moment."  
  
Her stomach felt tight. Fluttery. "That- that's not how... you claim someone."  
  
"For a vampire, it is."  
  
She shook her head. "No. Angel claimed me. It.... it hurts, and it almost killed me." She didn't like that she liked the way her stomach was feeling.  
  
Spike growled. "That wasn't a claim out of love. It was a claim out of necessity. He needed your blood to live."  
  
She laid a hand on the scar she had left. "He didn't have to claim me to suck my blood."  
  
"If a claim is out of love, not only does it not hurt, it feels good. For both parties." He looked at her. "You're right. He didn't. Don't know why he did, unless it was a reflex."  
  
She ran her finger lightly over his scar. "I... claimed you."  
  
"Yeah. I'm all yours, luv." He purred. "*Always and forever.*"  
  
She shook her head. "I can't... I don't understand that unless your vamped out..." 'Always... f....ever' "Always, forever?" The translation was slower now to her, but there.  
  
He cocked his head. "You understood that?"  
  
"I... Yes... Parts...." She shook her head. "It wasn't as easy as before."  
  
"Try this.." "*I love you, Buffy Anne Summers.*"  
  
She puzzled. "I...love you." She smiled. "That's what my name sounds like?"  
  
He grinned. "Yeah. That's you. Lots and lots of purring and chirping. Kind of how you make me feel inside. Like a little kitten."  
  
She smiled wearily. "Spike..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What.. I don't understand everything about the claim... is it... dangerous?"  
  
He shook his head. "Not for you. It just means that I will protect you with my life. So not much has changed. Apparently, it also allows you to understand my vampiric. Although I doubt that you'll understand anyone else's."  
  
"Should... should we tell Giles?" She shook her head. "No."  
  
He chuckled, then yawned. "Answering your own questions, huh, luv?"  
  
"Do you... have to claim me?"  
  
He thought. "I could. But it would give you a compulsion to be with me constantly, and that you'd protect me like I protect you. But I think you already do that."  
  
She was weary. Being him for such a time had taken it all out of her. It hit her hard. The drain on her system. "Do we have to decide now?"  
  
Spike yawned again. "I'd hope not. I'm liable to fall asleep in the middle. You want the bed?"  
  
She stood and took his hand. "Can we share?"  
  
He smiled. "If you want." They walked to the bed together and laid down. "Slayer?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Do you snore?"  
  
Her eyes were drooping, and it took all her strength to give him a half smile and snort at him. "You better hope not." 


	14. Just Can't Get You Outta My Head.

Spike woke up slowly. First sensing, then feeling her beside him. He stretched slightly, feeling his broken rib grate painfully, and nuzzled her head.  
  
She also woke slowly, eyes fluttering.  
  
He ran his fingers through her hair. "Hey. Mornin', luv."  
  
She smiled, then ducked her face into the pillow, a muffled, "Mmmrrnng."  
  
He chuckled. "Feelin' good?"  
  
Nodded yes into the pillow.  
  
He purred. "Me too." He stretched again, wincing as his rib caught.  
  
She pushed her face into the pillow, burying a groan in it, her own torso aching, feeling the grinding.  
  
He looked at her. "You hungry?", he asked, hiding the pain.  
  
She turned her face and pulled the sheet up to her nose. "Yeah."  
  
He slowly stood up, trying to keep the pain from his rib down to a minimum. "What would you like?"  
  
"Eggs? Toast? Orange? Anything." Her eyes smiled softly above the red satin. "Hungry."  
  
He reached over, playfully tugging on the sheet. "You hiding?"  
  
She jerked it back up. Shook her head. "Morning breath."  
  
"Doesn't bother me, luv. I don't need to breathe." He grinned. "Besides, you always smell great. Now is no exception."  
  
She lowered the sheet experimentally. "Ok."  
  
He smiled at her. "That's better. I'd rather see your face than that sheet, anyway."  
  
She rolled on her back and arched it, stretching. "Mmmm..."  
  
He felt her contentment and purred, heading for the kitchenette. He pulled out a jug of orange juice and a couple of slices of cheese. He then proceeded to make cheese toast, put it on a tray with a glass of orange juice and a single rose in a small vase. He carried it back to the bed, with a towel over his arm like a waiter.  
  
She had propped herself up on her elbows. Sighed hungrily at the tray.  
  
He handed her the tray with a flourish. "Will that be all, miss?", he said playfully, mimicking an upper-class accent.  
  
She sniffed the rose appreciatively. "Mm.. Yes, thank you."  
  
"Then may I bring you the check?", he said, keeping the highbrow accent. Harmon jumped up on the bed and sat next to Buffy. Spike didn't even skip a beat. "Or will your companion be pawing the bill?"  
  
She rolled her eyes, petting Harm with one hand. "Wow, with the horrible punness."  
  
He chuckled, sitting on the bed beside her and losing the corny accent. "Do I at least get points for effort?"  
  
Harmon "Merow"ed and rolled onto his back, waving his paws in the air.  
  
She grinned. "Mmm... Two." She rubbed Harm's belly. "How's my handsome man?"  
  
"Purrrrrow."  
  
Spike rubbed the cat's chin. "Why does he do this stuff? You'd think no one ever petted him. Always nuzzling up against people, wantin' his belly rubbed."  
  
She made an 'aww' face. "Is my boy hungry?" She tore off a corner of the cheese-toast, held it out to him. "Attention. Just like his master," she added to Spike.  
  
Harm took the toast and chewed thoughtfully.  
  
Spike huffed. "I do not want attention. I'm fine, all by myself."  
  
Buffy mouthed silently, "Blah, blah, blah..." Aloud, "Whatever. Everything you do has a flair to attract attention."  
  
"Does not."  
  
She rolled her eyes, pulled off another piece for Harm. "Dramatic entrances, that pause before a really good insult you KNOW Xander won't be able to return? The slow grin-eyebrow combination? Total drama queen."  
  
"Those are not pleas for attention. They are simply parts of my personality. Besides.." He gestured at the cat. "I meant like he's doing it. I don't beg people to rub my belly."  
  
She sighed, feeding Harm yet another piece of her breakfast. "And ingrained into your personality is a little strain of DNA stamped Drama Queen." She gave him a look. "I happen to remember a game of Deepest Secret?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Asking if I rubbed nice puppies stomachs?"  
  
He got kind of embarrassed. "That was... I was joking."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "And Glory was just out for attention."  
  
He flinched. The words "I wonder what I can dig out of you.." floated through his mind, followed by a phantom pain in his chest. "Not the same."  
  
She winced with him. "I'm sorry, Spike. Bad joke."  
  
He shook his head. "No, good joke. Bad topic." He petted Harm, who had made his way into the vampire's lap.  
  
Buffy reached over, feeding him the last piece of her toast. "Still. Bad joke." She patted Harm's belly. "Now my boy isn't hungry."  
  
Harm purred, nuzzled Buffy, then leaned hard against Spike, sensing that he was still thinking about the Glory incident.  
  
"I'm alright, luv. Really. How are you?"  
  
She focused on the cat, stroking his soft fur. "Good." She looked at Spike, touched the scar she left on his neck. "How- how's-?"  
  
"The claim mark? Fine. I don't even feel it. What about you? Are you okay with what happened?"  
  
She shrugged, a bit uneasily. "Spike- I wasn't- you didn't-" She took a deep breath. "I wasn't in a thrall was I?"  
  
His eyes grew wide. "No. First of all, I don't even know how to do that. Dru knew, but she never told taught me. And secondly, I'd never do that to you." There was a flash of pain, bordering on betrayal, through his mind and eyes. "You regret it, don't you?"  
  
She felt his distrust pound her chest as well as his fist had not too long ago. She considered over the pain. "No.. I don't... I just... it felt so good. It was so.. heady and easy and warm..." She dropped her eyes. "Dracula had me in a thrall and I don't remember any of it. Just that warm heady feeling."  
  
Spike growled. "That... that.." Low, rumbling growl that had no meaning, except to Spike. "I never liked that wanker. He's owed me money since the turn of the 20th century."  
  
She gave a small smile. "Spike..?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm still- I'm not... bad am I? Be-because I would only do that with someone I care about, and.. and want to stay with. That's what a claim is about, right?"  
  
He placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. "Listen to me, Slayer. You. Are. Not. Bad. There is no way on earth that you could be bad. Now me, I'm a bad dog, but you? You're more like a pampered cat that doesn't mind getting her claws dirty every once and awhile." He smiled at her. "And secondly, you care about me, and want to stay with me, hmm?"  
  
She let a fisted hand hit his shoulder gently. "Not pampered. Yeah... I was just... it- it scares me. I bit you hard enough to tear your skin, and make you bleed. Then I drank from you like I had been stranded in a desert..." Her eyes dropped.  
  
He cupped her chin, raised her eyes to his. "The hunger you felt was most likely mine, luv. Not you. I'm the one who should be scared. You felt what I feel when I vamp. I caused you to feel that... thing... that's inside me. And that scares me."  
  
She shook her head slowly, "I can tell our emotions apart. I know- I know when the demon rises, I can feel it, but its yours. The- the hunger... the enjoyment was mine."  
  
He looked at her. "And that's bad?"  
  
She looked infinitely lost. "It's scary. It wasn't blood... it was... sweetened liquor. A hard bite, but the sweetest undertaste." She bit her abused bottom lip.  
  
He gently reached forward, pulling her lip back out of her mouth. "Don't do that. You'll hurt yourself." He considered. "We didn't even complete the ritual."  
  
She looked confused. "What does that mean?"  
  
"To complete the claim, I'd have to bite you." He shook his head. "But I won't, so don't worry."  
  
She was silent a moment, then blurted out, "Why not?"  
  
He looked at her. "Huh? You want me to bite you?"  
  
She said defensively, "You don't want to bite me."  
  
"Yes I do!", he said quickly. Then paused, realizing how eager, and stupid that sounded. "Uh, that is, I want to claim you, like you claimed me. I don't want to... kill you, or anything."  
  
She looked at him a moment, weighing his words. "Ok."  
  
To Spike's credit, he was shocked. "Huh? You'll let me.. bite you?"  
  
"Can you- will you be able to stop?"  
  
He thought. "I think so. I'm far from starving, and I've never had a problem controlling it before." He gave her a confused smile. "You really want to do this?"  
  
Bit her lip again. "Yes." Reconsidered. "I mean- if you do."  
  
If his eyes had been any bigger, they would have popped right out of his head. "I do." He snorted. "*Sound like I'm bloody marrying the girl.*"  
  
She frowned at the vampiric running through her head. "You're not... proposing are you?"  
  
He choked and coughed hard, irritating his rib. "...no..."  
  
She winced internally. Pain pain pain. "Ok."  
  
He looked at her after the coughing fit passed. "It's just, I'm so nervous.. and I just said 'I do', and that was the thought." He gave her a sheepish grin. "Are we really going to do this?"  
  
She fidgeted, set her breakfast tray aside on the floor. "Yeah. Do you.. want me to.... lay down or anything?"  
  
He smiled at her. "If you want to. We did it sitting up earlier."  
  
"I know.. but... when Angel, and... Dracula... I got really dizzy, passed out."  
  
"I'm not going to take very much of your blood, luv, so you should be alright. But if you want to lie down, that's fine."  
  
She was leaning back on her elbows. "Why not?"  
  
"You didn't take very much of mine, and it needs to be even."  
  
"But... doesn't that make the claim weak?"  
  
He shook his head. "It's about the emotions behind the blood more than the blood itself. Still, it needs to be even. But I'm not sure what to do if I take too much. Maybe you should take some more of my blood, just to make sure. I could cut my neck, and you could suck that when I bite you. That might do it."  
  
"Won't... Won't that hurt?"  
  
He shrugged. "A little. It's either that, or you bite me again, though."  
  
She frowned. "What would hurt worse?"  
  
He shrugged again. "Probably about the same."  
  
She looked into his eyes sternly. "What would hurt worse?"  
  
He sighed. "The cut, probably."  
  
She nodded. "Then I can bite you."  
  
"It won't make you uncomfortable?"  
  
She shrugged. "I'll be fine."  
  
He reluctantly agreed. "Ok, but don't be gentle. Rip a hunk of skin off if you have to. I heal fast, and I can drink faster than you. To make it even, take deep gulps." He looked at her, embarrassed. "I'm grossing you out, aren't I?"  
  
"A little... Why don't you drink slowly, and I'll drink as fast as I can.. and it should even out somewhere."  
  
He nodded. "Good idea, luv." He made an amused sound. "I can't believe you're actually going to let me do this. Six years ago, I was dreaming of biting you. Of killing you. Now your death is my worst nightmare."  
  
She grinned flippantly. "Oh, it's not so bad after a couple times."  
  
He flinched. "Not for me."  
  
She smiled softly, took a deep bracing breath. "I know. Are you ready?"  
  
He nodded, drew in a shaky unneeded breath. "Yeah. I guess. Want me to hold your hands again?"  
  
She nodded. "I think so." She put her wrists together above her head.  
  
He breathed a couple of times, reminding himself not to hyperventilate, and laid partially on top of her. He gently grasped her hands above her head. "Ok. Now, I'm going to vamp out. Brace yourself, luv."  
  
She took a breath, cleared her mind.  
  
Spike focused inward, allowing his demon to claw it's way to the surface, ignoring the twinge of anger from his human side. He looked down at Buffy, his yellow/gold eyes shining. "Okay so far?"  
  
The violence rose, and she was ready for it. A quick nod.  
  
Spike leaned down slowly, hovering his fangs above her neck. He exhaled onto her skin, seeing the veins as clear as if her body was made of glass. He switched to vampiric, speaking slowly. "*I'm really close, luv. This is your last chance to change your mind.*"  
  
Her breath was getting shallow, and her senses were humming. She touched her lips to his softly.  
  
A throaty chuckle. "*I'll take that as a no on the mind change.*" He resituated himself over her, remembering to breathe when it occurred to him that if he stopped breathing, she might stop. He rested the tips of his fangs lightly against her skin. "*Me in you...*"  
  
She bit down on his neck, hard. 'You in me...'  
  
She jerked softly on the skin once, then disregarded his advice. She would not tear at him. She suckled deeply off the wound.  
  
A pleasure slowly swept her body, twice as powerful as before.  
  
He sank his fangs in, making the holes he needed, then quickly retracted them to suck on the wound. "*Always...*"  
  
'Forever...' her body arched against his, her mouth still drawing at his neck. '*Forever...*'  
  
They stayed like that, frozen, drawing off each other like people who had been lost in a desert for a week. Then Spike began to pull back, licking the wound closed.  
  
Buffy stopped when he did, nuzzling the cut softly with her lips, drawing in short, shallow breaths.  
  
Spike pulled back slightly, resting his now human forehead against hers. He was panting slightly, his eyes closed. "*I love you..*", he purr/chirped quietly.  
  
She removed her hands from his, putting both of them on the back of his head, stroking his hair.  
  
He rolled off her, still panting. He laid beside her and allowed her to continue stroking his hair. A claim always took more out of the claimer than the claimee, and Spike hadn't even been at full strength. He was still panting, but purring and pushing against her hands at the same time.  
  
She said quietly, "Is it supposed to be that..."  
  
"*Intense?*", he asked, still not speaking English. "*Wouldn't know. Never done it before, really.*"  
  
She shook her head. "Arousing."  
  
His eyes opened slowly. "Yeah," he said quietly, in English this time. "That's what it's like for a vampire, anyway. I've come pretty close to.. you know... while feeding."  
  
She gave a panting laugh. "I could see that."  
  
He chuckled deep in his throat. "As it is, I need to calm down a bit right now." He rolled onto his back, the panting slowing, but his chest still rising and falling rhythmically.  
  
'Not the only one,' she thought ruefully. 'Jumping him during a claim. Who's ever heard of that?'  
  
He laughed quietly, hearing her thoughts. "I have, actually. In fact, I think I've seen it."  
  
She turned her head towards him. "You watched a claim?"  
  
He nodded. "Between two vamps, though. Angelus and Darla. They were always reaffirming their claim/bond one way or another."  
  
"Euch." She said thoughtfully, "You have my blood now. Will you heal faster? Or doesn't it work the same in a claim?"  
  
He thought for a moment. "Actually, you remember the "always and forever" parts? I should have your blood in me always. Should have the same benefits."  
  
Her thoughts were carefully structured. "So, your ribs should be ok? Do you want more?"  
  
He looked at her, shook his head. "No. I'll probably be fine by tonight. You weren't thinking of slipping me any more if I say no, are you?"  
  
"No, I wouldn't slip it to you." 'Very truthful!' she praised herself.  
  
He sighed. Time to lay all the cards on the table. "So, just because you've done it twice, doesn't mean that you'd do it again?"  
  
To her credit, she was thoroughly confused. "What? I only slipped it to you once."  
  
He looked at her. "The first time was when Rupert was here. And the second... I don't know exactly when. There was some kind of cloaking spell on it. But I know our bond's been getting stronger since then. And remember, no denial privileges."  
  
She sat up. "You.. went through my head?"  
  
His eyes got wide. "NO!" Then quieter. "Not on purpose, anyway. I thought it was a dream, until a couple of days ago. I was asleep, and I could see you cutting your leg, chanting something, and draining it into a cup. Then I woke up. I thought it was a dream, until I smelled you in two of my mugs. Not just the one that you used the first time."  
  
She wrapped her arms around herself. "That's... I don't..."  
  
"*No denial privileges...*", he purred softly, desperately wanting to avoid a confrontation. Wanting, needing her to touch him right then. The claim was beginning to take it's full effect.  
  
She was pulling in, desperately afraid. She licked her lips. "I just wanted to help you... I didn't read the whole spell till two days later."  
  
He felt her pulling away emotionally, and started to shake. "*I know, I'm not mad... please don't pull away.. I need you..*"  
  
She put a hand out on the comforter between them.  
  
Spike tentatively placed a trembling hand on top of her's. Wondering when the double claim would hit her.  
  
It had. His touched eased some of her discomfort, but Buffy still looked at him, ready to cry like the lost girl she felt like. "I need my head back." Her voice trembled as she continued. "I haven't had... a thought of my own for over a week... none. You're in all of them, hearing, or... affecting them... I don't mind sharing... But I can't get you out. I don't know how."  
  
He looked at her, but he was confused as she was. "Maybe the claim bond can override the other one. If we try, maybe we can force the other person out.." '..hold me..', he continued mentally without meaning to.  
  
She winced. "Stop. You- there's two things and-"  
  
He closed his eyes and collapsed back. "*Pull back, pull back, pull back..*", he chanted in vampiric, trying desperately to pull out of the Slayer's mind. To his surprise, it seemed to be working. He continued the chant until Buffy's mind and emotions were merely a bug sitting on the edge of his thoughts. Easy to ignore, as long as you didn't look right at it.  
  
She looked at him, eyes still wide.  
  
Spike kept his eyes closed. 'Can you still hear me?'  
  
She gave a helpless sigh. "Damn it." 'Can you hear me?'  
  
No response.  
  
She grabbed a pillow, yanked it over her face and yelled.  
  
Spike shot straight up into the air, jumping a good three feet from his laying down position. "AAHH! Slayer! You scared the bleedin' hell out of me!"  
  
She felt the fear ripple through her. "I know."  
  
He shook his head. "But I can't hear you now. Maybe you should try to pull away from my mind. Maybe we both have to do it to make it work."  
  
She gave him a look. "Gee, what a novel idea. If only I hadn't tried it about thirty times already."  
  
"Have you tried it since I pulled from you? Or since the completed claim?"  
  
"No. Ok." She closed her eyes, pulling back from his as she had earlier. 'Nonononononononononono...' She felt like she had pulled back as far as she could.  
  
'Can you hear me now?'  
  
She gave an angry snort.  
  
He opened his eyes. "I'll take that as a yes. Luv, maybe you should tell me a little more about this spell you did."  
  
"Spike... maybe-maybe I should tell Giles what I did..."  
  
He looked at her. "If you want to. But I think he already knows."  
  
She shook her head. "I don't think so. Why do you think so?"  
  
He ducked his head, said quietly, "I might have mentioned that I though you did some sort of spell involving my blood supply when he came to check on me two days ago. He said that if you needed something like that, then he had a book that he could give you. He doesn't know exactly what you did, because I wasn't sure at the time I told him. I was also half asleep."  
  
She radiated anger, hoped he felt it. "You... *told* Giles? Then stumble through my head, and don't bother to tell me? I worked hard to make sure no one would know."  
  
Spike winced again, her anger pounding him like waves on a beach. "I didn't mean to.. he asked what we'd been up to, and I told him that I'd had a weird dream. I'm sorry, luv. I'm so sorry..."  
  
Her body throbbed with his pain. "I can't- This hurts... I was extra sneaky, so no one would know, or get hurt."  
  
Very quietly. "Except for you?"  
  
She shrugged. "Didn't seem important." She looked at him. "I hurt you, didn't I?"  
  
He looked at her. "Only by not caring if you got hurt."  
  
She shook her head, flashes of his emotions, thoughts, hurtling at her. "Yes, I did. Not... respecting your wishes... stubborn, stupid... can't she listen- doesn't she know-" the words tumbled from her lips.  
  
He flinched, recognizing his own thoughts."I'm sorry, I don't think you're stupid. Stubborn, yes. But not stupid. I.. just don't want anything to happen to you. I'm fine. Really, luv."  
  
Buffy focused on a spot just beyond his shoulder. "Ok. Giles knows. Maybe he can- can help. Maybe do a reversal?" She bit her lip sharply, unaware she made it bleed. "I wish I could ask Willow."  
  
"Did the spell say anyway to break it?"  
  
She shook her head. "Truth and light? But it doesn't work. I confronted everyone in the Magic Box. Confessed to things."  
  
He looked at her. "Everyone?"  
  
"Willow..."  
  
"Call her."  
  
She grabbed his phone, dialed hastily. "Willow? It's... it's me. I just... I love you. You're my best friend. And- But... I was upset with you for bringing me back, hurt." She rushed to finish, "But I'm not now, because... because things are better now. We're all gonna be better. I just... I wanted to tell you. I love you, Will." She hung up the phone. "Think something. No. Feel something."  
  
He shrugged. "Like what? What have you gotten from me before?"  
  
She shrugged. "Everything. Hate, want, love, desire, tickling, pain."  
  
He cocked his head. "Whoa, luv. That is a lot. Wait a minute, you felt me being tickled?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Dawn was on you like white on rice."  
  
He chuckled. "Tell me about it. Ok, hang on. Let me think."  
  
"Come on. Emotion."  
  
He brought up a mental image of Xander, bringing with it all the conflicting feelings that went with him. Anger, annoyance, playfulness, pain, caring?, caring, sometimes.  
  
Buffy's head spun. She flung herself down on the bed. "You promised you'd kill me then stake yourself. It's time." She cracked an eye at him. "Xander isn't that bad."  
  
Spike nodded. "Yeah. I know. He's just so... so.. Xander. You know? So, I'm guessing that didn't work. Is there anyone else that you need to tell something?"  
  
Plaintively she wailed,"No. I've been honest with everyone."  
  
"What about..." He gave a shudder. "Peaches?"  
  
She gave him a look. "Honest every time I was with him. And Riley. And my dad."  
  
He stared at the ceiling. "Maybe you're not being honest with yourself about something. Or me, because we're the only two left."  
  
She frowned. "It can't be. We just had a fight and were all honest." She sighed, looked at him. "I used a cloaking spell to hide my blood from you because you wouldn't take it and I wanted you to heal. I apparently used a very dangerous spell and didn't read things through."  
  
"Ok. I'm going to think again." 'Please let this have worked..'  
  
She groaned. "No such luck. I was furious that you went through my mind, and when at all possible, I'd like you to leave my thoughts alone."  
  
He looked at her. "Is there something that you aren't being honest with yourself about?"  
  
She grew still. Lying to herself was what she was good at. It was good for her on so many levels. She sat up, and closed her eyes, her arms around her knees. "I very well could lose the house. I'm not the best mom Dawn could ask for. She's not going to get any easier to handle. I can't always be there for everyone and their uncle. I might not save the world. I work at the DoubleMeat. I love Spike. I really miss-" She stopped short, her jaw working slowly.  
  
Spike sat up, nearly falling off the bed in the process. "Whoa, stop right there. You *what* Spike?" He was grinning hugely.  
  
She felt a warm ache. Nothing huge, overwhelming, or too powerful. She laughed gleefully. "It's GONE!"  
  
"Yay, whoopee. Now, you *what* me?"  
  
She glanced at him, "I said all that out loud didn't I?"  
  
He nodded, staring at her with the patented big blue eyes look.  
  
She sighed. "I didn't want to."  
  
His face fell. "Oh."  
  
"It's so fast, and not planned, but I did."  
  
He looked down. "Didn't want too, huh?"  
  
"Besides, the love card wasn't in the Buffy Deck. Of course I didn't! Do you know how intimidating it is to be loved by you?"  
  
He stared at her, shocked. "In.. intimidating?"  
  
"It's this... all-consuming thing that... I'm so afraid I won't be able to match," she finished softly. "And terrified that I might."  
  
He shook his head, trying to make sense. "You're scared... of loving me as much as I love you?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
He looked at her. "I don't understand."  
  
"You've only been left once, Spike. The other's you've loved... you never really had. I've been left. Lots. Dad, Angel, Parker, Riley, Mom..." She smiled. "The list goes on."  
  
"Your mum didn't leave you. She didn't have a choice... As for the rest, bleedin' wankers, poofters, and assholes the lot of 'em. They didn't deserve you." He looked down. "I don't either."  
  
"I'm not-" she shook her head. "You think I'm this great, beautiful, wonderful thing. That's intimidating, too. I'm just a woman, Spike. With a lot of baggage. That's it."  
  
"I know what you are, Buffy. I see it clearer than you. When you look in the mirror, what do you see?"  
  
She shrugged. "Me. What I've always been. What I'll always be."  
  
He nodded. "And when I look in a mirror, what do I see?"  
  
She was confused. "There's no reflection."  
  
He looked at her. "But does that mean that I'm not there?"  
  
"Of course not."  
  
"Just because I can't see what others see, doesn't mean that they're wrong."  
  
She smiled softly.  
  
"Or that what they see doesn't exist, just because I'm incapable of seeing it for myself. I have to trust what others tell me. So do you."  
  
"You used to be stupid."  
  
He shook his head. "Naw, just cocky. You fixed that."  
  
"You used to have no clue what you were talking about... How can you be right all the time now?"  
  
"Maybe it's because you're finally listening."  
  
She looked at him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm still scared."  
  
He nodded. "Me too."  
  
She took a deep breath. Stared him in his eyes. "I love you, William."  
  
Spike felt his heart melt, and tears started flowing immediately. "I love you, Buffy..", he choked out, swiping at his eyes.  
  
She reached out a hand to wipe at his cheeks. "Stop it."  
  
He sniffed. "Don't you think I'm trying? This is bleedin' embarrassing."  
  
She gave a small laugh, her eyes clouded with her own tears. She pulled him toward her, brushed her lips against his. "Me in you." Kissed him again. "You in me." Ran her hands over the planes of his face. Touched her lips to his neck, over her scar. "Always, forever, of love."  
  
"*Always, forever, of love,*", he repeated in vampiric. He felt as if he was flying. She loved him! She loved him! If he hadn't thought that he would look like a total idiot, he would have climbed onto the roof and shouted it until he woke up people in Japan.  
  
She looked at him. "I claimed you in blood. Now I've claimed you in heart." She looked slightly sheepish. "I just thought you should know."  
  
He smiled at her, stray tears still making their way down his cheeks. "You've had my heart for two and a half years now, luv. It took you long enough to notice."  
  
"Shut up. You confused me."  
  
He laughed, and it had never felt so good. He lay on his back, chuckling, pulling the Slayer down on top of him. "I'm just a confusing, uh, unperson."  
  
She gave him a scared smile. "I have to tell Giles."  
  
He smiled back. "No. *We* have to tell Giles." 


	15. Not a Date.

Spike walked slowly up the front walk of the Summers home. He was nervous. "*Not a date,*" he muttered in vampiric. "*Just watching a movie. Dawn'll be there. Not a date...*" He trailed off as he reached the front door. Before he could change his mind, and mysteriously come down with a vampire cold, he quickly raised his hand and knocked. "*...not a date..*"  
  
Dawn ripped the door open, a glare on her face. "Come in," she snarled, "Buffy is-"  
  
"DAWN!!!!! I NEED HELP!!!! THE SKIRT LOOKS DUMB!!! AND SO DO THE PANTS!!!"  
  
Spike stepped inside, wondering about the yelling coming from upstairs. Could Buffy be as nervous as he was? "What's up with her, Lil' Bit?"  
  
"IS THE LIVING ROOM CLEAN, BECAUSE SPIKE'S GONNA BE HERE IN-" Buffy rounded the corner by the staircase, wearing a knee-length green skirt with a flirty ruffle at the bottom and a cream off the shoulder shirt. Stopped short. "Hi."  
  
Spike shifted from foot to foot, fiddling with his blue button-up-the- front shirt. "Uh, hey, luv.."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Yeah, with the touching glance at the stairs. *I* have to get ready now, Buffy."  
  
Spike put a hand on her shoulder. "Ready for what, Bit?"  
  
She gave him a glowing smile. "Andrew is taking me to the movies."  
  
Spike growled low- and stopped when he saw the look that the younger Summers was giving him. "Uh, a date.. You're going on a date?"  
  
She nodded. "Uh-huh." She swept past him to climb the stairs. Buffy stopped her when she reached her step.  
  
"Thanks, Dawn. I appreciate it. I owe you," she spoke quietly.  
  
The Key snorted. "Ummm... yeah, ya do. And you're welcome." She gave her big sister a quick hug and kiss before running back up the stairs and shutting her door with a triumphant squeal.  
  
She smiled at Spike, and descended the stair case. "Hey."  
  
He grinned at her, suddenly wondering why he'd been nervous. "Evenin', gorgeous."  
  
She looked down, smiled. Reached up to 'straighten' his collar, swipe at an imaginary piece of lint on his shoulder, then tugged at the hem just a bit. "You look nice."  
  
He stood up straight, smiling broadly. "Thanks, luv." He looked around. "So, what's on the agenda for tonight?"  
  
She smiled, led him into the living room. "Movie!"  
  
He grinned, flopped on the couch. "Great, what're we watchin'?"  
  
"Ten Things I Hate About You. And pizza with extra cheese, and extra pepperoni." She smiled, sat on the couch next to him, crossed her legs.  
  
He looked at her. "A girly movie."  
  
She gave him a droll look. "Says the vamp who cries at Beauty and the Beast, and Titanic... And.. what was it again? Ghost?"  
  
He looked away. "Those... That doesn't count. There's violence, and people die." If he had been human, a blush would have been making it's presence known at that moment.  
  
She laughed and handed the remote to him. "Do the... stuff."  
  
"What stuff?"  
  
She made shoo-ing motions with her hands. "Ya know... VCR operating stuff."  
  
He held up the remote, turned it over, looked at it. "Ok, remote. Start the movie." Paused. "I think it's broken."  
  
She rolled her eyes, nudged him with her bare shoulder. "Come on."  
  
He chuckled and pressed play. "Sorry, luv. I feel like playing. You never know what that'll do to me."  
  
She smiled, laid her head on his shoulder. "Have you seen this?"  
  
"If I say yes, promise not to laugh."  
  
She nodded.  
  
He let out a sigh that resembled the GoodYear blimp deflating. "Yes."  
  
She didn't laugh, just said piercingly. "Ah... and it IS such a girl movie..."  
  
He growled. "Remember what happened the last time you pushed me, Slayer."  
  
She just grinned and said, "Shhh... the movie's on."  
  
Forty minutes later the doorbell rang, to Buffy's delight. "Pizza guy!"  
  
"Can I eat him?"  
  
She stood. "No. He's bringing us food. Will you let him in while I get the money?"  
  
Spike obediently nodded and got up to go to the door. However, the visitor was not a pizza guy, although it was a teenager. A quick discreet sniff told the vampire that he was human, and therefore, most likely, Dawn's date. He suppressed a growl. "Luv! Not the food. Lil' Bit's *date* is here!" He backed away from the door slightly, allowing the boy to enter. To his credit, the kid took one look at Spike, and promptly gave him a wide berth. Spike let out a low growl anyway.  
  
Buffy walked in from the kitchen, gave Spike a small frown. "Hi. I'm Buffy. Dawn's sister." "Dawn," she called sweetly up the stairs, "someone here for you."  
  
"Uh, hi.." the teen said nervously, glancing at the vampire glaring at him.  
  
She gave him a reassuring smile. "Andrew right?"  
  
Spike let out a low profile snort. "*Wanker.*"  
  
"Y- yeah."  
  
'Stop it. He's nervous.' "Dawn will be down in just a minute. This is- Will. Family friend. Will, Andrew, Andrew, Will."  
  
Spike shot her a death glare. Then did his best to act nice. "Hello, Andrew."  
  
Dawn chose that moment to make her entrance. Dark camel pants, black boots, smoky eyes, and a boat cut angora shirt completed her outfit. Her lips shone with a gloss she had borrowed from Buffy, and smelled pleasantly of mango. "Hey, Andrew," she bubbled.  
  
Spike's eyes grew wide. "Lil' Bit, can I speak to you for a moment?" He grabbed her shoulder. "Just a moment. Family stuff," he said to Andrew.  
  
She made an indignant noise, crossed with a squeak as Spike drew her to the family room. "What is wrong with you??" She whispered fiercely. "He has a pulse!! He's cute, and nice, and has his own car, and-"  
  
He spoke quietly. "That's just it. Human teenagers have notorious libidos, and I want to make sure that you know your rules. Also.." He took her purse, extracted the lip gloss, and tossed it onto the couch. "Don't think I don't remember what you said the other day. Wipe that off." He handed her a Kleenex.  
  
She tossed it back at him. "Whatever. You are completely insane! Furthermore-"  
  
"Dawn..." A low growl accompanied his words.  
  
She stomped her foot. "I said, no." She crossed her arms. "What are you gonna do? Wipe it off me?"  
  
That's just what he did.  
  
She attempted to jerk her chin from his fingers, pulling valiantly.  
  
He "tsk"ed. "I'm very much stronger than you, Bit. I won't let you go, until I'm done. And you can't do anything about it."  
  
"Sh-pike," she snarled through the fishlips his squeezing fingers were inducing, "This ish the mosht embarrashing- Oh, my God... I am shhhhoooo mad at choo."  
  
"There. Done." He smiled at her. "Now, go on. Enjoy your date. But behave. And remember that I'll still be here when you get back, and I have very good senses of smell and hearing." He patted her head. "Go on, now."  
  
She tossed her hair. Gave him a good glare. Stalked in the entryway and grabbed Andrew's hand. "We're going." She leaned forward, kissed Buffy's cheek. "Twelve-thirty. I promise."  
  
Buffy nodded, kissed her back. "Ok. It was nice to meet you, Andrew."  
  
Dawn just stared at Spike. "Night."  
  
"Night, Bit. I love you, you know."  
  
She sighed miserably, let go of Andrew to hug Spike quickly. "I love you, too," she muttered grudgingly. From behind them, Buffy waved a lipgloss. Dawn reached a hand behind Spike, one still wrapped around his neck to hug him tightly. She clutched it in her hand. They made off quickly, laughing to the car.  
  
He closed the door behind them and collapsed back on the couch. "Whew. She's bloody exhausting." He stared at Buffy. ""Will"??"  
  
"His mom is an accountant. How good does, 'This is my boyfriend Spike' sound? I don't want anything to stop him from liking Dawn."  
  
He nodded. "Yeah. I know... I just hate that bloody name, that's all. Want to know why?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You know what Peaches name was when he was human? Liam? Well, that's the Irish form of William. We've got the same bloody given name."  
  
She laughed. "Poor baby."  
  
He sighed. "I guess I'm living up to the meaning now, though. William means: Devoted Protector. I looked it up once." He said quietly, "Of course, in a very archaic language, it also means "helmet"."  
  
She laid her head on his shoulder again, waiting for him to push play. "I like devoted protector."  
  
He grinned and restarted the movie. "You know what? I think I do, too."  
  
She gave him a look. "You can't go around terrorizing her dates like that. Poor kid almost wet himself."  
  
"I didn't "terrorize" anyone. Just let the little squirt know who's the man in this family."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "And Dawn looked thrilled."  
  
"I'm just looking out for her. She knows that."  
  
"What was all the squirming about?"  
  
"Squirming?"  
  
"Yeah... ya know, the sounds of a massive struggle coming from the living room?"  
  
He chuckled. "Oh, that. I was just getting rid of a temptation."  
  
She arched her brow. "You should have started with the eyeshadow, whatever you did."  
  
He shook his head. "Naw. I was making a point. Only the lip gloss had to go."  
  
"Oh."  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
Buffy laughed as Spike shut off the movie. "I could so see you dancing like that on the stairs."  
  
"I would never do something like that," Spike said indignantly.  
  
"Not even on a dare?"  
  
He thought. "Maybe. But not in front of people. So, what do we do now?", he asked, leaning back against the couch pillows.  
  
She sat up. "Wanna play a game?"  
  
He chuckled. "Not Deepest Secret again, cause I'll so kick your ass again."  
  
She tossed her short hair. "Whatever. It's Dare, same rules as Deepest Secret, though. But we have 10 points."  
  
He chuckled. "Ok, why not. Who goes first?"  
  
She sighed. "I'm feeling generous. You go ahead."  
  
He looked around. "Uh, I dare you to... Oh!" He picked up a plum out of the fruit basket that was on the table. "Eat this. Whole." Thankfully, it was a small plum, and seedless.  
  
She rolled her eyes, plucked it out of his hands. Shoved it in her mouth, and chewed.  
  
"Uh uh. I said whole. Swallow it."  
  
She had a little more difficulty with that, giving a quick gag before she finally got it down.  
  
He laughed. "Your turn, then."  
  
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him. "Hmm... I dare you to... take off your shirt, shoes, and socks."  
  
He looked at her curiously. "That's it? Tryin' to make me more comfortable?"  
  
She grinned. "That's it. You just look too... formal."  
  
He chuckled, and complied, laying his shirt over the back of the couch, and stuffing his socks into his shoes, leaving them next to the coffee table. "My turn?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
He laid back, totally relaxed. "Hmm. I dare you to... Put Mr. Gordo in the stove. Not turn it on, just stick him in, close the door, and get him right back out again."  
  
She fish-mouthed for a minute. "Th- that's evil."  
  
"I didn't say turn it on. And you can pass, you know."  
  
She frowned, went to her bedroom quickly, retrieving her pig. She walked to the kitchen murmuring apologies the whole way. She turned on the oven light before she put him in. Turned to Spike. "Are you watching this?"  
  
He grinned at her, knowing he was going to pay for this one way or another. "Yep."  
  
She placed him near the very front of the oven, slammed the door shut, then ripped it open again, whipping her pig out. She cuddled it, and sashayed back to the living room to sit down.  
  
Spike laughed. "He can sit with us now. Can I see him a minute?"  
  
She nuzzled the pig, muttered, "Sadist," at Spike, then reluctantly handed him to Spike.  
  
To her surprise, Spike held the pig up, so that he was eye to eye with it. "*Sorry, lil' mate. I thought she'd pass that one.*" He handed the pig back. "Your turn."  
  
She sat with Mr. Gordo on her lap, considered him thoughtfully. "Sing. Sing and dance for me. Just like Heath Ledger in the movie."  
  
He balked. "WHAT!!"  
  
She stroked the pig, much like Dr. Evil stroked Mr. Bigglesworth. "You heard me."  
  
He sighed. "Got a request?"  
  
"Same song that he did. Exact everything. Arm swinging, leg kicking- lyric belting rendition."  
  
She leaned forward and pulled the coffee table towards her, pulled her legs up on the couch, then pulled the table the rest of way to the couch, giving him more room to dance. "I'll give you a starting point. 'I love you, baby.' And... Dedicate it to Mr. Gordo."  
  
From in there, he called out, "This one goes out to a very special friend of mine, and an all around swell ham, Mr. Gordo!" He then, to his embarrassment, and Buffy's delight, began the song. He was surprised to find that he remembered all the words. About halfway through, it started being fun, and he put his all into it, dancing like a lunatic around the living room. Finally, he hummed the ending and collapsed back on the couch, panting hard.  
  
Buffy applauded. "Mr. Gordo gives you a ten for presentation and gusto."  
  
Spike half chuckled, half growled. "Thanks, pal," he said to the pig. Then he looked at the Slayer. "Are you happy now?"  
  
She nodded once. "Bubbly."  
  
"My turn, then?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
He thought for a moment. "Can I ask a question as a dare?"  
  
"Umm.. sure?"  
  
"I dare you to tell me exactly how you feel about Peaches, and Captain Cardboard. And relate them to me."  
  
She curled her feet under her, now a cushion away from him. "What do you mean relate them to you?"  
  
"How are we alike, how are we different, in everything."  
  
"Well... I... just get sad when I think of Angel, because it could have ended differently than it did."  
  
"Yeah, he could have killed you."  
  
She frowned at Spike. "And... in some part of my heart, I'll always love him. Ya know, first love, first kiss..."  
  
"*First sex.*"  
  
"I heard that."  
  
"I meant for you to."  
  
"Fine. First lover."  
  
Snort.  
  
"And it was magical, and soft, and then it all went to hell."  
  
Spike's look softened. "Sorry, luv. Let's consider this dare over. I.. didn't mean to get you upset."  
  
She shook her head. "And Riley was safe and warm, and dependable. Which was really irritating after a while."  
  
"You're tellin' me."  
  
"It doesn't make me too sad to think of him. Because he's happy. And he deserves happy. And... Sam is great, so... I mean, good for him."  
  
"Everyone needs someone. Even Fishboy."  
  
She gave him a small grin. "And I can't relate them to you."  
  
He looked at her. "Why not?"  
  
"The sex is... certainly more interesting, everything's a bit less gentle, which is fine, cuz... do I look like I'm all soft and blah? And..." she was quieter now, still awkward in her confessions. "The... loving... is deeper, and... more... and-" She broke off, disgusted that she couldn't articulate her thoughts.  
  
Spike smiled. "*Always..*", he purred, knowing that she'd get it.  
  
She nodded, relieved. "Yeah."  
  
He grinned. "Your turn."  
  
"I dare you to close your eyes and don't move- at all- until I say so. Oh. And lay down."  
  
He looked at her. "The last time you told me that, I wound up in handcuffs. What're you doin'?"  
  
She smiled. "I don't have handcuffs. Are you going to take the dare?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah. Why not. I'll just take a nap."  
  
"Ok. Close your eyes, and don't move till I say."  
  
He laid back, relaxed, and closed his eyes. "Okay."  
  
She slipped up the stairs, and began to pummel her pillow till she got what she wanted. A feather. She pranced down the stairs silently and came in the living room, laid a hand on his stomach.  
  
"You back?"  
  
"Mm-hmm..." She ran the feather down the middle of his chest, starting between his collarbones, down to the button of his jeans.  
  
Spike yelped. "Ahh! What're you doin', Slayer?!"  
  
She tapped a finger on his nose. "No moving."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Concede point?"  
  
He shook his head. "No. But I do want to know the rest of this dare."  
  
She sighed. "I told you. All you have to do is lie perfectly still. This won't hurt. I promise."  
  
"I'm not worried about it hurting... and I can't stay still when something's tickling me. You know that. Squirming is a reflex action. I have no control over it."  
  
She nuzzled his ear. "Don't you want to win?" she questioned softly.  
  
"Yeah... How long and where?"  
  
"Till I say."  
  
He cracked one eye. "Luv, you can't be serious..."  
  
She felt like a tease. "Eyes are open."  
  
It snapped closed. "At least tell me where? So I can prepare a little?"  
  
"Mmm-nmm..." Ran it down his chest again. "I just... don't see it in your future.."  
  
He whimpered. "Get on with it, then."  
  
She ran the feather around his ears, down the side of his neck. She knew she was doing a touch of turning on, but it would make it so much more fun in the long run.  
  
Spike kept his body rigid, or at least tried to. His muscles jumped and his skin twitched involuntarily. 'Why, why, why did I have to be so bloody ticklish??', he thought hopelessly.  
  
She trailed the feather down his jean-clad legs, to twist it playfully over his ankles, creeping towards the soles of his feet.  
  
"..no.." he whimpered, knowing what was to come.  
  
She changed positions abruptly when she knew he was steeling himself by his feet. Ran it ever-so-lightly across his ribs.  
  
He let out a yelp at the unexpected switch, and his skin jumped again.  
  
She 'tsked' playfully, then dipped the end of the feather into his belly- button, then played on the surrounding skin.  
  
Spike gritted his teeth, trying desperately not to laugh. She KNEW that his belly-button was a weak spot.  
  
She moved the feather to his earlobe, stroking it back and forth, then streaking it quickly across his shoulders.  
  
He let out a gurgling growl. "Y- you didn't say that I- I couldn't laugh, right?"  
  
She pondered. "Will you move while you laugh?"  
  
"Only the shaking of everything connected to my lungs. Please luv, you have no idea what this is like..."  
  
"Which connect to bone.. which connect to flesh... I just don't know."  
  
"...please...", he choked out.  
  
She ran the feather just on the inside of the waist of his jeans across his hips. She sighed.  
  
He nearly bit his tongue.  
  
"I just... really think that's moving." She sighed again. "I suppose that's ok.. but not too much shaking." She shook the feather on his nose.  
  
He nearly sneezed. "That's cheating!"  
  
She smiled. "Yeah." She ran the feather down to his feet again, trailing it slowly up the arch.  
  
Spike tried to keep the hysterical laughter that was threatening him down to a quiet laughing giggle.  
  
She moved the feather between his toes, and just set it there, not moving.  
  
"You.. you wouldn't."  
  
She pulled it halfway out, slowly. "No?"  
  
He snorted, unable to hold that in. "Not fair!"  
  
She shoved the feather back again, tickling him, then she stopped. "Ok. You can move now."  
  
"Can I open my eyes too?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
He opened his eyes. "Is it over? Or are you teasing me?"  
  
She smiled. "It's over."  
  
He looked at her. "You are evil, Slayer. You know that? But now I know what my dare will be."  
  
She grinned confidently. "What?"  
  
He smiled at her. "Take off your socks and shoes. This game has just officially been declared a tickle war."  
  
She scooted back into her corner of the couch. "Hey now. I'm in a skirt. No socks or shoes..."  
  
"Don't you trust me?"  
  
'Not with that look in his eyes...' "Ummm.."  
  
"Besides. I was going to say go put on pants first." He gave her an evil grin. "Or shorts, if the backs of your knees aren't too ticklish."  
  
She gave a tiny pout. 'Of course I'd spend an hour picking this out so I can change into sushi jamma's...' "They aren't."  
  
"So go then."  
  
"Be right back." She went upstairs, yanked open a drawer and started throwing things out. NOT sushi bottoms. Or pigs... or cow print.... She frowned. Where were her pretty jamma's???  
  
"Take much longer, Slayer, and I win automatically!", Spike called from downstairs.  
  
She marched into Dawn's room. 'Hello, pretty yellow satin jamma pants,' Buffy thought as she tore them off Dawn's bed. "JUST A MINUTE!"  
  
"Oh, and bring another feather. I need two!"  
  
She yanked them on as she raced back to her room, deciding on a tight black tank top. Winced, and grabbed another feather. She looked in the mirror, and gathered her hair into two ponytails at the base of her neck. Lip gloss? No. Too obvious. She trooped down the stairs again.  
  
"'Bout time, luv. I was beginning to think you snuck out the window."  
  
She snorted. "Whatever. I was on a rescue mission."  
  
"Dawn swiping your clothes again?"  
  
She gave a huge sigh and nodded. "Yes!" Grudgingly handed him the new feather.  
  
He grinned, looking at the two feathers in his hands. "Perfect. Now, get comfortable. I'm gonna make it easy on you. You can laugh, but no movements that could throw me off, okay?"  
  
She lounged on the couch, partially sitting. "Ok... How long?"  
  
He grinned evilly. "Till I say."  
  
She winced. Followed him with her eyes.  
  
He sat down next to her, and pulled her feet into his lap, restraining them with a well placed elbow hold. He held up one feather. "Ready?"  
  
She whimpered. "Eyes?"  
  
"Closed."  
  
She slammed them shut, muttering under her breath.  
  
He grinned, and ran the feather up her left instep, agonizingly slowly.  
  
She twitched.  
  
He continued to stroke upwards, then quickly slid the feather back down, and over her ankle.  
  
Quiet whimper, slight hip twist.  
  
He grinned like a mad scientist playing with a favorite experiment. He knew what to do now. The feather began making small circles just beneath her toes, and the second one suddenly began sliding in and out between the toes on the other foot. Combined weak spots.  
  
Buffy scrunched down on the couch, now lying flat. Gave a moaning laugh. "Cheater."  
  
He didn't bother answering, and proceeded to switch feet. Now tickling the toes on the other side, and the instep on the first side. "Havin' fun, luv?"  
  
She squirmed. "Evil."  
  
"You would know." He did something unexpected. Still tickling the toes with one feather, he slid the other feather up her tank top slightly, to wiggle it around and in her belly-button.  
  
She did a half-sit up. Squealed.  
  
"Ah, gotcha." He continued. Releasing her feet entirely, and slipping the second feather up to tickle her ribs.  
  
She was sputtering denials mixed with laughter.  
  
He chuckled. 'I am really going to pay for this when it gets to be her turn,' he thought. He momentarily used both feathers on the belly-button and stomach areas.  
  
She whimpered/laughed, sitting up straight, eyes still tightly closed.  
  
Then one feather on each side, going full force on the ribs. The long feathers almost reaching her armpits.  
  
"Noo-oh-oh-oh...." Her hips twisted every way, lifting up, and she giggled helplessly.  
  
Spike laughed, loving having her at his mercy. He stuck the feathers a little farther, actually reaching her under arms. He wiggled them unceasingly.  
  
She let out a keening laugh. "Sp-pike!"  
  
"Yeah?", he asked playfully, not even pausing.  
  
She gave a pitiful moan, still squirming.  
  
He grinned and retracted the feathers. "I'm done, luv. You can open your eyes now."  
  
She peeked one open. "No teasing?"  
  
He shook his head. "You want a go with two feathers? It's fun."  
  
She shook her head. "My turn, hmm?"  
  
He nodded, placing the feathers on the coffee table next to Mr. Gordo.  
  
She lifted her legs together and pointed her feet. "Have a seat."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
She shrugged. "You can do it standing up, too, I suppose. What do you prefer? Up or down?"  
  
He looked at her. "Uh, luv. Before one of us makes an embarrassing mistake, what the hell are you talking about!?"  
  
"My dare. Won't hurt. Won't be fun either. Sitting or standing?"  
  
He sat. Looked at her.  
  
She held her feet level with his chest and lay down, hands tucked under her head. "I dare you to kiss my feet in apology for tickling them so mercilessly." She suppressed a grin, waiting for a pass.  
  
He looked at her, then chuckled. "You think I won't do it, do you?" He grabbed her feet, kissed each one individually, and leaned back, leaving them in his lap.  
  
She frowned. That sucked. She considered. At least he wasn't a toe- sucker.  
  
"My turn?"  
  
She nodded, vastly disappointed.  
  
"I dare you to demonstrate what else you learned from that book that Rupert gave you. On me, of course. And tell me what it is you're doing."  
  
She retrieved her feet then crawled up to him. "Ok. Vampires, in general are susceptible to moderate stimulation in touch. Depending on the vampire and the pressure, it can be tickling or arousing."  
  
He cocked his head. "Ok."  
  
"Hand."  
  
He held a hand up.  
  
She took it, ran her own fingers feather-light across his, waited for his reaction.  
  
He shivered pleasurably. "Oh. That kind of tickled, but I liked it."  
  
She nodded. "Fingers need almost no stimulation. Light touch. Middle hand," she rubbed her thumb in the center of his palm. "Medium pressure, repetitive motion is the stimulant."  
  
Spike purred. "Oh. I see..." His eyes closed for an instant, then snapped open. "Relaxing, too."  
  
"Yeah." She pointed at the heel of his thumb. "Hardest stimulation, slow motion is the stimulant." She brought his hand to her lips, scraped her teeth against it. Very slowly, checking his eyes the entire time.  
  
Spike moaned and shivered again. "Oooh."  
  
She nodded. "Same goes for the neck, collarbones, ribs and back. For a vampire to heal, they should feed off a healthy person, strong."  
  
"Don't suppose you'd like to show me those too?" He nodded. "Yeah. I knew that. I use bull's blood when I'm feelin' bad."  
  
She grinned. "Maybe later. They recommend breaking the persons neck and feeding from the heart region."  
  
To his credit, Spike turned slightly green. "Eugh."  
  
She shrugged. "You gotta do what you gotta do."  
  
He shook his head. "Uh-uh. Not me. I'd puke it right back up. Got a weak stomach."  
  
She smiled. "I noticed. Very weak... How'd it go? 'Slayyyyer, heeeeerrrrreeee kitty, kitty... I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna suck em dry... and use their bones to bash my head in'?"  
  
"Bash YOUR head in. If you're gonna quote, do it right. And threats are different."  
  
"Mmm... so... it's my turn now?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Her eyes lit up. "I've got fishnets and a skirt upstairs..."  
  
"HELL NO!! Point."  
  
She pouted, then remembered that she was winning. "Yay."  
  
He grinned. "Now, what were you saying about my ribs?"  
  
She grinned at his abs. "Yes, I note the absence of bandages."  
  
He nodded. "Yep. I've got a clean bill of health, or so says Rupert. So, what'd that book tell you about them?"  
  
"Well, we know what scratching does. But rubbing isn't a... a leg jump reflex."  
  
"What is it, then?"  
  
"Basically a rib massage um... can... help... excite... a vampire before a claim, as most are done with sex."  
  
He grinned. "Have to try that, sometime."  
  
She gave him a look safely in her corner of the couch. "Hm... hmmm hmmmmm....I dare you to let me put lipgloss on you."  
  
He chuckled. "The old fashioned way, or the way that you seem to have taught Dawn?"  
  
She smiled. "Old fashioned. I want it to be pretty."  
  
He grinned. "Only if it's apple."  
  
She considered. "Only if I get to put a glitter coat overtop."  
  
He snorted. "That's what Lil' Bit said, and she wound up torturing me." He thought. "Although... I don't know. Maybe I'm starting to like being tickled in my old age." He chuckled. "Ok, but I can wash it off before I leave this house."  
  
She nodded. "It'll be gone before Dawn gets home."  
  
"Ok, then."  
  
She scampered up to grab her purse, rifled through it, and pulled out two tubes. She sat on the couch and scootched closer to Spike. "Open your mouth."  
  
He did as she asked. "Ike tis?"  
  
She nodded, uncapped the apple and smoothed it carefully over his lips.  
  
He fought the impulse to lick it off.  
  
She mimed smacking her lips together.  
  
He smacked a little. Surprised himself by liking the feel of the gloss.  
  
She grabbed the second tube, dabbed the glitter on his lips with her little finger, smoothing it expertly, carefully. She reached over to the coffee table and pulled out a tissue. Folded it and placed it between his open lips. "Blot."  
  
He closed his mouth on the Kleenex and opened it again. "Done?"  
  
She smoothed it out again, leaned back and smiled. "Ok. Don't move."  
  
He stayed still. "Why?"  
  
She leaned forward, kissed him softly.  
  
He chuckled when they pulled apart. "Oh." He put his arms around her and pulled her into his lap. "My turn?"  
  
She nodded. "I just always wondered why guys complained about gloss." She smacked her apple-ee lips. "Still don't get it."  
  
He shrugged. "Me neither. Now, tell me about... what was the rest? Neck, back, and collarbone?"  
  
She shrugged. "Kinda like the ribs, but not for claiming. Just used in foreplay. Sensitive to biting, scraping, gently."  
  
He grinned. "Show me?"  
  
She tilted his head up. "Well. The neck is sensitive to gentle stuff." She kissed down it softly, then back up to nuzzle under his ear, then nip and lick back down to his collarbone.  
  
Spike's eyes crossed.  
  
"The collarbone takes a little more work." She bit harder, then sucked on the spot she had ravaged.  
  
"..oh..god.."  
  
Kissed across, lightly dragging her teeth here and there, till she got to the indent at the base of this throat. Licked at it a few times, then sucked the flesh in, lightly nipping him.  
  
Low, rumbling purr/moan. "*..Buffy...*"  
  
She worked her way across to his opposite shoulder. Reached her arms around him, began pressing her fingers in his back, harder when she was kissing, lighter when she was biting.  
  
Spike rumbled again. "...oooohh.. What... what're you doin' now?"  
  
"Alternating stimulation, pressure, hightens awareness..." she feathered her fingers across the back of his neck while she bit impishly at the end of his collarbone.  
  
A series of increasingly pleasurable shivers shot through the vampire, causing him to moan again. "..no kidding.."  
  
"Mmm-hmmm..." She licked the spot she had just bitten, increasing the pressure of her fingers. "Are you aware, Spike?"  
  
"...Uh-huh... luv.. Better stop now..."  
  
She kissed the spot one last time and pulled back.  
  
Spike was panting, actually having his tongue hanging slightly out. "Wow... just, wow. Uh, what were we doin' again?"  
  
She smiled. "My dare, I believe."  
  
He nodded, feeling as if his body had no bones.  
  
"Can you-kiss without biting when you're vamped?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah... I think so. Why?"  
  
"I dare you.. to kiss me while you're vamped out."  
  
"Ok, but may I ask what brought this on?"  
  
She shrugged. "I can feel... smell... hear... so much when you're vamped... I wonder if kissing you will just overload my senses."  
  
He grinned. "You mean kissing me normally doesn't? I'm hurt." He stuck his lower lip out.  
  
She smiled. "It does... I just.. wanna feel what you feel."  
  
He chuckled. "There was a time, not too long ago, when you had felt too much of what I feel. Now you want it again?"  
  
She smiled. "I told you I didn't mind sharing."  
  
He grinned. "Okay, Slayer. You asked for it." He vamped out. "Not scared of me, are you?"  
  
The emotion coursed through her, as it did every time. His arousal was higher, anger less. She smiled cockily. "I never was."  
  
He grinned, showing fangs, quoted her, "I seem to remember a game of Deepest Secret..."  
  
She smiled, touching her tongue to her own still-short incisors.  
  
He leaned toward her, closing his yellow/gold eyes, and their lips met. He drew her bottom lip into his mouth, somehow managing to nibble with fangs and not break the skin.  
  
Her mind went blank, focusing totally on her heightened senses, the touch was lighter, but she felt it more, shuddered out a breath.  
  
He slowly released her lip and moved down her neck, still barely allowing his fangs to touch her. He could feel the blood pulsing just beneath the skin, but he ignored it, deciding instead to nibble lightly on that spot just beneath her ear. 'How you doin' so far, luv?', he thought to her, using the claim bond.  
  
She gave a soft moan, her hands playing at the back of his neck, slowly reclining.  
  
Spike purred, feeling her touch, and nibble/licked his way down her throat, pausing occasionally to nip the skin lightly. Not enough to break it, just enough for her to feel it.  
  
She tilted her head back for him, for her...  
  
Spike could feel his bloodlust warring with the claim, and he knew he'd have to stop, or risk hurting her. "*Luv,*", he said. "*Gotta stop, or I'm gonna bite you...*"  
  
She said thoughtfully, "How hard?"  
  
He pulled back. "I mean, B I T E you. As in drain you dry. Got to stop."  
  
She pulled back, pushed them both to a sitting position.  
  
Spike turned away, trying to force the demon back. "...sorry..", he said quietly, still vamped.  
  
She laid her head on his back, rubbing soft circles there. Made quiet, comforting noises.  
  
After a moment, Spike won the battle within himself, and leaned against Buffy. "My dare? Assuming you still want to play with me."  
  
She nodded.  
  
He turned slightly. "Can I put my head in your lap? I'm, uh, feeling a little shaky right now."  
  
"Of course you can." She guided his head to her lap, one hand playing with his hair.  
  
Spike purred and closed his eyes. "Thanks. Could you tell me something?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"What finally made you love me?"  
  
She kept playing with his hair. "You make me laugh, and cry, and Dawn loves you. You make her smile, too. I don't have to be weak for you, or strong. I can just be Buffy, and that's ok."  
  
He smiled, keeping his eyes closed and concentrating on the wonderfully relaxing feeling of her fingers in his hair. "Your turn, luv."  
  
"I dare you to tell me why you went to Africa."  
  
As relaxed as he was, it almost slipped out. "I went to get a... Uh, to get the chip removed. I told you."  
  
She sighed. "I have no idea what you were talking about, a cloaking spell for blood. I didn't do it."  
  
He snorted. "Okay... okay. Promise not to tell anyone?"  
  
She let his hair curl around her fingers. "Yup."  
  
He took a deep breath. "I was scared, terrified that I'd hurt you again. The chip didn't work with you, so I had to figure out another way. About that time, Clem told me about this demon shaman who could supposedly grant any wish. I went. Not even really knowing what I wanted, just that I wanted you to trust me, and I wanted never to hurt you again. After I got there, it occurred to me that a soul would work for all of that. So that was my wish. There. Are you happy now? I did it on purpose."  
  
She looked into his slightly petulant face and kissed his cheek. "Very happy."  
  
He looked up at her. "Really? Why?"  
  
Buffy shrugged. "I'm happy. I'm not... hiding anything, I'm not ashamed of anything, and someone went to the trouble to get a soul, to help me. That's... very flattering."  
  
He thought for a moment. Grinned. "Yeah. I guess it is. You know what? I've really been enjoying these last couple of months, certain events aside."  
  
She thought for a moment. "Me, too. No events aside. Your dare."  
  
He thought. "I'm tired. Maybe we take a nap, and finish the game later?" He yawned, nuzzling her leg gently.  
  
Buffy checked the clock on the mantle. "You can nap, but I'd put your shirt on first. Dawn's gonna be home in a few minutes."  
  
He looked at the clock. "Damn it, you're right. How'd it get so late so fast?"  
  
She shrugged. "We're interesting people."  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
Dawn and Andrew pulled in five minutes before her curfew. Andrew walked her to the door, where they stood for two minutes. Dawn opened the door, three minutes to curfew, wiping her lips on the back of her hand. "Hey, guys." She walked in the living room, stared at the couch. "Hey, Buffy."  
  
Buffy went to hug her sister, then remembered the big lump o' Spike still sleeping in her lap. She shrugged helplessly at Dawn, asked quietly, "How'd it go?"  
  
Spike purred in his sleep and nuzzled her leg gently.  
  
She stroked the back of his head, his hair now curling freely.  
  
Dawn sighed. "It went so good. Oh my God. He's so cute."  
  
She held out the lipgloss Buffy had slipped her. "Thank you *so* much," she whispered, and Buffy smiled, and went to stuff it in the couch cushion behind her. What Spike didn't know couldn't hurt him. 


	16. Water Wars and Fallout.

Buffy yawned enormously and slid slowly out of bed to stretch. Mmm. Morning. The tickle fights and... she smiled slowly... kisses had tired her out. She gave a small half-chuckle at the thought of Spike's quiet snore every once in a while. Him, too. She went downstairs, puttered around in an attempt at scrambled eggs.  
  
Spike woke up slowly, smelling a hint of slightly burned eggs. He stretched, one hand going down into the cushions of the couch. What was that? He pulled out the small tube, looked at it. Lip gloss? What was... He paused, sniffed at it. Mango. Dawn's. But he had left it... He got up, stuffing the lipgloss in his pocket, and heading for the kitchen.  
  
He yawned, gave her a small smile. "Mornin' luv." No need to bring up the Lip Gloss now. He walked over and slipped his arms around her waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. "How'd you sleep?"  
  
She gave a small smile as she let him drape himself on her. He was so.. rumpled. His once pristine blue shirt was now wrinkled and had dots of lint from the couch across it. "Fine. You?"  
  
He smiled, kissed her cheek. "Great. I wonder why I never have nightmares when I'm on your couch."  
  
Buffy shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe you should get one."  
  
He shook his head slightly. "Naw. It's not the couch. It's the smell. Home. Family. I love it here."  
  
"Oh, that would explain some of it." She turned the eggs off, dislodging him to get two plates from a cupboard. "We're going to let Dawn sleep in." She smiled happily. "She had a good night."  
  
He stretched, a little annoyed that his human heating pad had moved and followed her to the cupboard. "If Dawn's sleeping in, why'd you fix six eggs?"  
  
She shrugged, still feeling light. "Felt like it? And you're gonna eat four, so we're good." She grabbed the pan, dished the eggs out according to her words, then grabbed two forks.  
  
He chuckled and followed her to the table. "Good thing I don't have to worry about cholesterol."  
  
She gave a smile and sat down to nibble at her eggs.  
  
"So," he began, taking a bite of his eggs. "Did you have fun last night?"  
  
"Yeah, you?"  
  
He chuckled. "Actually, yeah. Even though I'm guessing I lost the game of Dare. I was the only one who passed."  
  
She nodded, a smirk on her lips. "Yeah.. I won."  
  
He gave a pained sigh. "So, what did you win? We never decided on stakes, no pun intended."  
  
She pondered thoughtfully. "Dunno... I'll get back to you." Took another small bite of egg.  
  
He swallowed a slightly burned piece of egg. "With my luck, you've probably won no time limit tickling privileges."  
  
"Mmm... interesting, but payback's a bitch."  
  
"Tell me that's not what you're going to do."  
  
She picked up her plate, carried it to the garbage, scraped it, gave it a quick rinse then sat back down. "It's not."  
  
He sighed. "Thank God. What is it then?" He likewise rinsed out his plate and returned to the table.  
  
She smiled. "You let up on Dawn..." she paused. "And her dates."  
  
He snorted, reached into his pocket, and placed the lip gloss on the table. "You two stop going behind my back."  
  
She didn't even have the shame to wince. "Don't make us."  
  
He looked at her. "You remember what she said the other day? I don't want her trying that on that.." Snort. "Andrew wanker."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Because Dawn would really do that. She's not- she's a good girl. Mom raised her better than that. Lip gloss is not a neon sign saying 'I'm easy! Kiss me!'"  
  
He made a low growling sound. "I know that, Slayer. I'm not ignorant. I'm just worried about her. Relationships are a big thing."  
  
"She knows, Spike. Look what everyone has put her through. She knows. She's not jumping into anything."  
  
He sighed. "I know. I just.. sometimes I feel like I'm losing the connection that we had. She's got other friends. What does she need me for anymore?"  
  
Buffy softened, but she was still frustrated. "You're not as easy to replace as you think, all right? What would she need a big brother for anyway?"  
  
He looked at her. "I'm not?"  
  
She turned to fix him with a cool stare. "What do you think? Because you're easy to replace, I'm working my butt off on this... relationship, and trying to make sure everyone plays nice, and everything is well- rounded, and-" She stood to stand by the sink, bracing her hands on the counter.  
  
"I'm trying too, luv. It's just that.." He got up, walked over and leaned on the counter next to her. "Official Scooby or not, I just feel like I'm the... odd man out, so to speak. Besides Dawn, and you, I don't really have anyone who's just my friend. They all have reasons for tolerating me. But not you two. You must actually care about me, or else you'd just tell me to sod off like Harris does."  
  
She fisted her hands in her hair. "Giles tolerates you because you're like his son, admitted by either of you or not. Xander tolerates you because you don't tolerate his crap, and you can give as good as you get. Willow IS your friend, and I wish you'd notice. Anya..." She sighed. "I have no idea." She turned from him and walked back to the table, to inanely tidy it. "I quit." It was quiet, resigned.  
  
He stood there, thinking it over. Stared at the Slayer's back. "You quit what?"  
  
She shrugged. "This. I won't be a buffer between a lover and my friends anymore. And..." Inhaled, exhaled, still frustrated. "this... lack of self-confidence is not like you. I won't build you up every day. You have to know your own worth. I love giving you boosts. But this is ridiculous."  
  
He sighed, looked around. "I have self confidence." Eyes locked on the sink hose. "A lot of confidence. I just like hearing how you feel about me." He dismissed the sink idea. Not yet. It would wait...  
  
She rounded on him, eyes flaring. "Do *not* play with me about this."  
  
He looked at her. "Sorry, luv. You're right. Maybe it's still this bleedin' soul settling in. It's getting better, you know. I'm really only touchy about you and Dawn now."  
  
"And I don't get why. We love you. Hello?"  
  
He smiled. "I know. I know. And you know what? I don't get why either."  
  
She rolled her eyes, the sparks of anger dying a bit to allow a weary laugh. "And women are complicated?"  
  
"Damn straight."  
  
"You're more complicated than ten women could TRY to be."  
  
He chuckled. "That's because I've lived longer than ten women put together."  
  
She snorted. "Someone sucked at math."  
  
He snorted. "I was deliberately exaggerating." He eyed the hose again. "Don't push me."  
  
Her eyes grew wide. "Now, Spike... You don't want to do that."  
  
He reached for the hose, picked it up, and squeezed the trigger experimentally. A stream of water shot into the sink. If he turned it around, it was plenty powerful to reach all the way to the living room. "I don't?"  
  
"Nope. One scream and Dawn, who is still ticked at you, comes running downstairs, yelling and glowy. Besides, the sun's up. You have to stay in the house with us all day if you do something stupid."  
  
He took a step toward her, still brandishing the hose. "Oh? And what's the worst that you two could do to me? You wouldn't hurt me, you both love me. You said so."  
  
She grinned ferally. "Love hurts. Tough love, gotta be cruel to be kind, that sort of thing..."  
  
He chuckled. "And yet, I'm the one holding the hose." He squirted toward her, deliberately missing by about an inch, the water going right into a empty glass on the table. "Like I said, what's the worst you could do?"  
  
She had jumped back, her body arching away from the spray. She searched her mind for useful ammo. "I won't kiss you. For two weeks. Bare minimum."  
  
He squirted. "Uh uh. Wouldn't want to punish yourself too, would you, Slayer?" The spray barely grazed her arm.  
  
She jerked her arm. "It's all about winning, Vampire."  
  
He chuckled. "And you have no ammo. So how do you plan to win?" His other hand had sneaked back and turned the cold water on full blast. He squirted again, and hit her square in the stomach.  
  
She gave an indignant gasp. "Sooo no smoochies for you."  
  
He laughed and sprayed her again, with the nozzle on stream. It was freezing cold by now, and hit her ribs.  
  
She squealed, made to jump at him.  
  
He dodged, squirted her again, hitting her neck and sending water down her pajama shirt.  
  
The cold water was frigid, and Buffy was not happy about it. She leapt at Spike, putting all her force behind her attack.  
  
He laughed when she knocked him back against the counter. The nozzle had gotten pinned between them, and Spike squeezed the trigger again. Cold water, point blank, on both their stomachs.  
  
She wrapped her hands around his, laughing, trying to wrestle it off of him.  
  
"I'm not letting go of this, Slayer!", Spike laughed, squeezing again and soaking both of them.  
  
She jerked. "Let," chuckle, "go..."  
  
He laughed again. "Uh-uh." He aimed down, making water run down her leg. "Make me."  
  
She leaned down, bit his wrist.  
  
He jerked, and pointed up, squirting her neck in defense. "Not fair, Slayer. No pain."  
  
She arched her brow. "Who said it hurt?" Buffy set on him, yanking and pulling, swearing and slipping on the water.  
  
He laughed, squirted her again. "Not gonna work, luv. Force is not the answer."  
  
And bingo. She attacked his ribs.  
  
He laughed, and lost his balance, slipping down onto the wet kitchen floor taking the Slayer with him. He squirted her again, trying to get her off, but his aim went wide and the water hit the ceiling, then proceeded to drip on both of them. He kept hanging onto the hose as best he could, but it was getting harder.  
  
She was wrestling it away from him one-handed, the other playing on his ribs. Her balance was precarious over his body, but she still reached her left foot down as far as she could, wiggled her toes against the skin of his foot.  
  
He laughed hard, desperately trying to keep a hold on the hose. "Stop it!!"  
  
With a final jerk the hose was hers. She crowed triumphantly, stood over him. She held him at hose point, as she backed carefully to the table and picked up a pen, watching him carefully as she backed towards the fridge, and the calendar that hung there. She counted carefully, then made an 'X' in one box. Then with careful deliberation, squirted him square in the face.  
  
He shook his head like a dog, trying to climb up off the incredibly wet floor. "That wasn't fair, Slayer!" He got a devilish gleam in his eye. "Now it's your turn.." He lunged across the room as fast as he could go.  
  
She squirted him as he charged at her, knowing it would do no good, but still effectively soaking him.  
  
He roared, batted the hose away, and knocked the Slayer to the floor again. He stuck his hands slightly up her soaked pajama shirt and went right for the torture points on her ribs.  
  
She squirmed, laughing quietly.  
  
Spike was unimpressed with the quietness of her laughter, and moved up to an armpit with one hand and to her bellybutton with the other, his fingers wiggling unceasingly.  
  
She let out a louder laugh, and tried to stifle it. "Sp-spike," she gasped. "Dawn's s-still sleeping!!!"  
  
"She *WAS*," the Key whined loudly.  
  
Both heads turned to her. Spike's hands continued their movement, however.  
  
"Until some God-awful screeching *wafted* upstairs, as opposed to the smell of breakfast cooking, which is more than I could hope for," Dawn continued, ignoring her sister's senseless laughter and pleas.  
  
Spike grinned at Dawn. "Come on, Lil' Bit. Help me, and I'll make you pancakes."  
  
Her eyes lit up. "With chocolate chips?"  
  
"You know it."  
  
She gave Buffy a sympathetic look. "Sorry, Buff. If you could make pancakes, maybe things would be different." And pounced her. Both of them had missed, however, during their oh-so-precious exchange, that she had managed to get the hose back, and sprayed her delightful little sister in the face, just as she had Spike.  
  
"EEEEEE-AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGH!!!!" Dawn screamed, deflecting the water with her hands.  
  
"Don't let it throw you, Bit! Get her!"  
  
Buffy swung the hose to spray him again in the face, aiming for his nose, hoping he would inhale some. Wiggled helplessly as Dawn used the moment to tickle her ribs.  
  
Spike growled, but managed to remember not to breathe. Instead, he went for the spots on her hips.  
  
Buffy knew when she was beat. "Ok!" She gasped around a tickle. "I give!"  
  
Spike ran a finger up her ribs. "Take away the no kissing punishment, or I won't stop."  
  
Dawn backed up, hands up. "So not going there."  
  
Buffy considered. "One week."  
  
"Nothing," Spike said, going for the armpit/bellybutton combo again. He turned to Dawn. "If you want your pancakes, grab a foot."  
  
Dawn still made an 'eww' face. "You promised anyway, and I want no part of this twistedness."  
  
"We're just playing, Bit."  
  
Buffy snorted, squirmed. "One week," she gasped, "and you can TRY to kiss me. If I break, it's off..." Her eyes cut to her sister, pleading. "I made him promise to lighten up on you and dates."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah," she squirmed again. "And... defended," giggle, "your lip gloss."  
  
Spike growled. "No week."  
  
Dawn went forward to poke Spike decisively in the ribs.  
  
Spike yelped. "Dawn, no!" He was determined to win for once.  
  
She kept tickling. "Sorry, Spike. Still ticked about the gloss."  
  
Spike started laughing, desperately trying to keep his now fragile hold on the squirming Slayer. "I'm sooorrryy!"  
  
Dawn considered, then returned to tickle with a vengeance. "You held my face and wiped off my lips."  
  
Buffy was free. "Thanks, Dawn."  
  
Dawn stopped and stood by her sister. "Anytime."  
  
Spike lay in the pool of water, half giggling, half growling at the sisters. "I'm beginning to wish that I'd never been sired. No one ever did that to me when I was human." He sat up, leaned against the fridge.  
  
Buffy smiled. "You won Deepest Secret. Could you really hope for more?"  
  
He snorted, then climbed to his feet. "I'll clean up the stupid water. And make pancakes."  
  
Buffy laughed, giving him a hand to steady himself with. "I think Giles might have left some sweats here, if you wanna throw those in the dryer."  
  
He looked at her, resigned. "Fine." He snorted again. When he thought that Buffy was out of range, he said to himself in vampiric, "*Never knew being tortured could be fun...*"  
  
She snorted as she climbed the stairs. 'I happen to remember a trunk, Spike. And handcuffs. You've just never been tickled.'  
  
"Not until you came along!", he yelled after her. He took a towel and began mopping up the water on the floor.  
  
Dawn gave him a weird look, then climbed the stairs after her sister to change.  
  
=========================================================================  
  
Spike sat on the couch, feeling kind of dumb in Giles' old sweats, and still annoyed that he'd lost earlier.  
  
Dawn was upstairs, passing on all her gossip about her date on the phone. Buffy came in, done with the dishes, and sat on the couch.  
  
Spike grunted a greeting.  
  
She smiled at his pout. "Dawn liked her pancakes."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. She didn't even really earn 'em. I was being generous. She was supposed to help me, not you."  
  
"She did help you, but then she found out I helped her, so she helped me."  
  
He snorted. "I guess blood is thicker than pancake batter."  
  
She leaned her head back on the couch, closed her eyes. "Always."  
  
Spike glanced at her. Bloody hell. He wanted to kiss her so bad. He caught sight of the calendar in the kitchen. "Luv, you said I could *try* to kiss you, right?"  
  
Female satisfaction took root in her body. "Try, is the operative word in that sentence."  
  
He leaned toward her slowly.  
  
She sighed and twisted her head to the side.  
  
He growled and leaned back, pouting. "Huh. You couldn't have waited two more minutes to tag Dawn in? I almost had you."  
  
She cracked one eye open. "Wow. So easily defeated."  
  
He snorted. "I'll try again later. I'm tired now."  
  
"So... by next, Saturday morning, you'll be able to kiss me again." She smiled, laid down on the couch, her feet in his lap. "Seven days."  
  
He moaned.  
  
"One hundred sixty eight hours."  
  
A pained sound.  
  
"Ten-thousand eighty minutes."  
  
Pathetic whimper.  
  
"Six-hundred and four thousand, eight hundred seconds."  
  
He growled pitifully. As in a kitten would be more scary. "I get it already."  
  
She curled on her side, legs still in his lap. "Just letting you know."  
  
He laid his head back and closed his eyes, draping an arm over his forehead. "Fifteen minutes of pure fun equals a week of torture."  
  
Sigh of contentment, a small wiggle. "Told you there'd be fallout."  
  
No words, just a moan.  
  
Buffy smiled. 'This is gonna be such a fun week.'  
  
"I don't get it. I let you torture me. Not once, not twice, but FOUR times, counting this morning, and I do nothing. But you, get a little wet and *poof!*. There goes my reason for living."  
  
She slanted her eyes at him. "One. Undead. And two, my mind, wit, body, personality and vivacious charm doesn't do it for you?" She reached for her apple lip gloss, still setting on the coffee table. Applied heavily. "Just my lips?" Smacked them together and placed the tube back on the table.  
  
He swallowed. "No. It's everything. Lips are just one of my favorite parts, that's all."  
  
She nibbled on the corner of her bottom lip. Pondered. "Hm."  
  
He closed his eyes, not wanting to be too tempted.  
  
She held in a laugh. Poor guy. Licked her lips. She did understand where he was coming from. Apple gloss was the best.  
  
He sighed, attempting to ignore her closeness and scent. 'Maybe try going to sleep...', he thought.  
  
Buffy chose then to squirm, attempting to find that perfect spot. Sighed contentedly as she found it.  
  
'Ignore her, ignore her, ignore her..'  
  
Her feet, now cold, snuck between his knees. Her breath evened out as she grew closer to sleep.  
  
Spike heard her breathing slowing, and cracked an eye, looking at his drowsy Slayer. 'God, she's so cute..'  
  
Eyes very droopy, she slurred, "Thank you..."  
  
He smiled. "You're welcome, luv." He yawned, leaned back, and closed his eyes. 


	17. Dancing and Hopping.

Hey, Guys! This is Tequila. I just want to say thanks for all the encouraging notes, and to let one of you down, this will not become an NC-17. R, perhaps, and probably. I'd also like to tell you that as of today, the 9th of August, we have 31 chapters of this story archived, and don't intend to change them. The story tends to get more serious, but there are still light moments, because hey! Isn't that just how Joss does it? (ya know, with the exception that he's JOSS, and has buck-o bucks, and has a contract saying James has to do what he says. *sighs at the thought of THAT one.* Nummy.*licks lips*) Anyway, here we go. Thanks for keeping on with us. We appreciate it! Dawnie, your chap is 29. Wait for it. LOVE YOU FOR THE HELP!!!!  
  
Always. Tequila Sunrise.  
  
  
  
Buffy swung into the Magic Box, and smiled at Anya, working the counter. Three days into the kissless week, and he hadn't cracked. "Hey Anya."  
  
"Buffy. Hi!" She smiled quickly, then glanced over her shoulder at the backroom.  
  
Buffy followed her glance, hearing grunts from behind the door. "So... What's going on?"  
  
Anya shrugged, smiled worriedly, "I dunno... Giles is stocking the stock room." She frowned. "If I can't find something, I'll be very angry." Her eyes shot sparks. "And it's not like I have someone to have sex with now. We all know what happened last time I didn't have sex for so many years."  
  
Buffy's eyes were rounded, but she nodded slowly.  
  
"Spike basically knows where everything goes, though, so... It shouldn't be too hard for me to tidy up after them, after they fail at doing it productively."  
  
"Spike's in there?"  
  
"Well, yes, he and Giles-"  
  
"Did anyone get hurt yet?"  
  
They were interrupted by a sudden crash and a loud cry of, "BUGGER!!" From the stock room. Giles' voice.  
  
Buffy gave Anya a startled glance, and shot after the noise, striding quickly to the door.  
  
From inside, she could hear Spike. "You okay, Rupe?"  
  
"Fine. Bloody stupid..."  
  
"Must just be your old bones, then."  
  
There was a pause, then, "Spike, come over here."  
  
"Why? What... AHH! Rupert! Leggo!!"  
  
Buffy cracked the door cautiously, praying not to find a pile of dust, and an indignant Watcher.  
  
Instead, she found Giles, holding Spike in a headlock with one hand, tickling his ribs with the other. The vampire was squirming, and alternately cursing and laughing. "Rupert! Bloody! Stop it! Geroff!"  
  
Buffy giggled quietly from the doorway.  
  
Spike finally managed to wiggle free, and promptly fell on his butt, still laughing. Giles took a step toward him, and he tried to scramble backwards, only to smack into a large box. Giles lunged, and Spike couldn't dodge, but he managed to curl into a ball, protecting his stomach and one side. He must have noticed Buffy then. "Slayer! Help!"  
  
"Call me old, will you?", Giles said playfully. "Hello, Buffy," he called over his shoulder.  
  
Buffy stood, leaning casually against the jamb, Anya peeking in over the Slayer's shoulder saying only, "You break it you bought it."  
  
"I dunno, Spike. He's kinda ferocious." She made a sweet face at her Watcher. "Hey, Giles."  
  
Spike was in hysterics, trying repeatedly to get his feet under him, but Giles kept thwarting his every attempt. "Come on, Slayer!" He turned his attention to the Watcher. "Rupe! Stop!"  
  
Giles looked at Buffy. "Think he's had enough?"  
  
Buffy thought for a long moment, then slowly nodded. "Yeah, I guess."  
  
Giles nodded, and released his giggling captive, backing away slowly.  
  
"Bloody...", was the only thing the vampire said, unable to get up right then.  
  
Buffy gave a small sigh, and walked to him to extend her hand.  
  
He took it, and pulled her onto the floor with him. "Why didn't you help me?"  
  
On a graceless heap on the floor, she gave him a look. "Because it was funny."  
  
Giles chuckled, and went back to sorting the pile of books he had dropped.  
  
Spike tickled her ribs quickly and released her. "Not for me."  
  
She gave a quick shudder and wiggle, and stood, dusted herself off and pointedly refused to help Spike up. She placed a hand on Giles' arm. "Whatcha got?"  
  
"Just some books. We're almost done."  
  
"Been stocking," Spike said, sitting up.  
  
Giles chuckled. "All day. Since five thirty this morning."  
  
"Wow. Go you with the initiative."  
  
Spike snorted, scratching at his now terribly itchy ribs. "And that's the third time he's pulled that."  
  
"That's the third time you've insulted me."  
  
She laughed. "Do I need to put you in corners?"  
  
Giles gave a playful shrug. "That depends on a certain vampire who doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut." He looked at Spike. "Learned your lesson yet?"  
  
Spike grinned, and shook his head.  
  
Giles gave a fake sigh. "Oh well. I suppose I'll just have to keep doing that till you do learn."  
  
"Oh no. Please. Anything but that," Spike deadpanned.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "All right. Buffy brought lunch."  
  
Giles smiled. "And what's for lunch, then?"  
  
"Please tell me there's hotwings," Spike added.  
  
She pointed to the front of the store. "Deli sandwich for you," she moved her hand to point at Giles. "And yes. Special stop to get hotwings."  
  
Spike rubbed his hands together. "Oh boy."  
  
Giles sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"  
  
Spike grinned. "Who me?"  
  
"No, the other incredibly annoying vampire that my Slayer is dating at the moment."  
  
Buffy shushed him. "Giles! I was going to break it to him easy!"  
  
Spike actually looked freaked out for a moment, then he laughed. "Almost had me there, luv."  
  
She arched her brow sadly. "I'm... sorry, Spike."  
  
He stared at her. "What?"  
  
She shrugged, touched his shoulder softly. "I'm sorry."  
  
Giles looked at Buffy, looked at the stricken expression on Spike's face, and burst out laughing.  
  
She swatted at Giles. "Come on! We almost had him."  
  
Giles wiped a tear from his eye. "Sorry, it's just... That look!" He started laughing again. "Like a lost puppy..."  
  
Spike snorted, grabbed his wings, and sat on a box with his back to them.  
  
Buffy and Giles exchanged a look. She walked behind him, said softly, "Come on, Spike. We were kidding."  
  
Spike said nothing.  
  
Giles came up and put a hand on Spike's shoulder. "Come on, Spike. It was a joke."  
  
Spike's shoulders started to shake.  
  
Giles looked at Buffy, shocked.  
  
She ran a hand down the back of his neck, stroking the hair at his nape, concerned. "Spike... we're- we were just kidding."  
  
There was a low sound coming from the vampire, and his shoulders continued to shake, harder now. Finally, he let it out... and burst out laughing. "Ha! Who got who!?"  
  
Giles looked at Buffy, then at Spike, then back at Buffy. Two words. "Get him."  
  
Giles held Spike down while Buffy tickled unmercifully.  
  
"Slayer! Rupert! Stop!", Spike said, giggling helplessly.  
  
She arched her eyebrows at him, tickling with abandon. "Who got who, Spike?"  
  
Spike was shaking, laughing hysterically, desperately trying to wriggle out of Giles grasp. "Stop.. i- it!", he choked out in between laughing fits.  
  
"Switch!", Giles yelled. "I can't hold him!"  
  
She switched, pinning her boyfriend down. "Got him."  
  
Giles went for Spike's stomach with one hand and ribs with the other. Now that he didn't have to hold him still, this was a lot easier. "Come on, Spike. All you have to do is say that we won."  
  
"Nonono!", the vampire giggled out. Giles responded by wiggling his fingers in the vampire's armpit. "AAHH!"  
  
Anya swept into the room. "What are you people doing??"  
  
Giles glanced up. "Torturing Spike."  
  
She tilted her head to one side, a reminiscent look crossing her face. "I wish you the best of luck. Don't break the Elathipian jars. Those herbs are expensive."  
  
"AANNYYAA!!", Spike yelled, helpless in the Slayer's grasp. "HELP!"  
  
She walked back out, closing the door to keep them from disturbing her lovely, paying customers.  
  
'Some helpful store manager,' Spike thought. Outwardly, he was too busy laughing hysterically to say much of anything.  
  
Buffy grinned, her face close to Spike's, her hair falling over her cheek. "Awwww... how's it feel?"  
  
"Y-you're g- gonna..." Bout of laughter. "K- kill me!!" Giles sat on his legs to keep him from kicking so much.  
  
"Just say it already, Spike. And we'll stop. Right, Buffy?"  
  
She pondered. "Maybe."  
  
Giles nodded. "Good answer. After all, this is rather fun. Don't you think, Spike?"  
  
'Yeah,' he thought. "N-nooo!", he practically screamed when Giles poked his belly button.  
  
Buffy leaned forward again. "Come on, Spike... two words.."  
  
Spike squirmed, trying to get a hand free, but they were pinned beneath him. "N-no way!"  
  
Giles chuckled. "Wrong words." Both hands on the belly button now.  
  
"Aaaiiiieeeee!"  
  
Buffy's hair was tickling his cheek. "Come on. You're a smart vamp, most times."  
  
Spike let out something that sounded suspiciously like a squeal. "No... Ahhh! RUPERT!!"  
  
Giles meanwhile, had rolled Spike's shirt up slightly, to allow better access. "Buffy, sit on him. Four hands are better than two!"  
  
She could only follow orders. She sat on his chest, and tickled his stomach.  
  
Spike howled at the worsening onslaught. "OK!! OK!! You bloody win!!"  
  
Giles looked at his Slayer. "Good enough for you?"  
  
She gave a nod of acquiesce. "Yeah. You?"  
  
Giles sat back thoughtfully. "I'm still a little mad at him for calling me old... I don't know.." He kept up his torturing as he spoke. Spike had tears running out of his eyes, and was hiccuping slightly between laughs.  
  
She nodded understandingly. "Did he say anything mean about me?"  
  
Giles thought, his fingers still going like mad up and down the vampire's ribs. "Just that it really annoyed him that you told me that he was ticklish. Oh, and something about you being a bint who won't even let him kiss you."  
  
"Hmm..." She reached over, still sitting on Spike to grab the Styrofoam container holding his hot wings. He hadn't even got to open it. She popped it open, started munching a wing.  
  
"Hey!", called the giggling vampire indignantly. "M- mine!" Talking wasn't working, so he called along the claim bond, 'Do I eat your lunch?'  
  
Giles was now running his fingers up and down between the vampire's ribs, practically driving Spike up the wall. That is, if he had been able to move. "You know what?", the Watcher asked. "I never knew that this could be so much fun."  
  
In her mind, Buffy said sarcastically, 'Do I ever *have one?*' She laughed at Giles. "Me and Dawn figured it out a while back. I took a special trip just for this lunch, and he's talking about me behind my back. It hurts." She tore the meat off the wing viciously. "Really."  
  
"I'm sorrrrryyyy!", Spike wailed. His whole body was twitching, almost like he was having a seizure. But most of the fight was gone. He was tiring out.  
  
Giles chuckled. "I don't think he has much left in him. Should I stop, you think? Or find a new area to tickle?" He glanced at the vampire's feet, wearing socks only, at the ends of legs that were pinned beneath Giles' weight.  
  
Buffy shook her head. "I think that's enough."  
  
Giles gave a sigh. "Very well. Maybe I'll finish him later." He released the shaking vampire, and walked over to eat his sandwich. Spike couldn't even move, and he had a horrible case of the hiccups. Not to mention that he hadn't quite stopped giggling yet.  
  
"Off.." -hic!- "Me, Slay*hic*er"  
  
She stood spryly, leaving the box of wings low on his stomach. Buffy moved to sit on the ground by Giles, picking off his sandwich.  
  
Spike rolled onto his side, placing the wings on the floor in front of him. "You *hic* two are so *hic* mean."  
  
Buffy and Giles smiled at eachother, Buffy rested her head on his knee, chewed at the corner she had stolen and nodded. "Basically."  
  
"Not *hic* bloody fa*hic*ir. Fair." The vampire continued his mutterings interspersed liberally with hiccups.  
  
Giles reached down and gave Buffy a lopsided hug. "Thanks for the help. And the tip. I don't know how else to get him to leave me alone."  
  
She smiled, returned the hug. "Anytime."  
  
"Yeah, right. *hic* Help him. I don't even think *hic* that Rupert's ticklish. I can't *hic* fight back."  
  
Giles chuckled and exchanged a knowing look with Buffy. "You just don't know how, that's all. Buffy knows."  
  
Buffy nodded, emphatically. "I know."  
  
"Oh? *hic* Don't suppose you'd *hic* share?"  
  
Giles nodded. "Very well. He deserves a chance to defend himself. Show him, Buffy." The Watcher tensed.  
  
Buffy lightly poked the side of his neck, then scratched at the middle of his back.  
  
Giles let out a loud laugh, and nearly dropped his sandwich. "Ok! Stop now," he giggled.  
  
Spike nodded. "Thanks, *hic*."  
  
She dropped her hands, and pulled a small piece of meat off his sandwich. "Yup."  
  
Spike's hiccups were subsiding as his body relaxed. He slid over closer to them, sat up, leaned against a box, and ate a hotwing. "Well. This is just cozy."  
  
Giles reached a hand up and scratched his neck. "Yes. Quite."  
  
Spike offered Buffy a hotwing.  
  
She shook her head. 'I'm fine.'  
  
"Suit yourself. Rupert?"  
  
"No. Thank you, though." Giles broke another part of his sandwich off and handed it to Buffy to keep her from pulling the rest of the meat out of his part.  
  
She smiled, munched contentedly for a minute, then grabbed his part. She put the meat from hers back on his sandwich, and handed it back.  
  
He smiled. "Thank you."  
  
Spike chuckled. "One big happy family."  
  
Buffy smiled. "Giles looks too thin. I'm fixing it."  
  
The Watcher looked at her indignantly. "I am not too thin. I am exactly the weight that I want to be, thank you."  
  
Spike chuckled, started to say something smart, then closed his mouth quickly.  
  
Giles grinned triumphantly. "Ah. See? All he needs is the right lesson, and we can teach him to do anything. Like a trained dog."  
  
Spike chewed a wing. "Arf."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I could still kick your butt in training... as in, I have and you haven't."  
  
Giles chuckled. "Yes. Very good." He gently dislodged the Slayer from his lap. "I need to take a trip to the little Watcher's room." He grinned at the Slayer. "Make sure Spike behaves."  
  
She nodded. "Ok."  
  
Giles walked back out into the main shop.  
  
" "Make sure Spike behaves.." ", Spike mimicked the Watcher. He snorted. "Can't make me do anything. I do what I want to, when I want to."  
  
"Of course you do." She took a bite of Giles' sandwich, hoping he wouldn't notice.  
  
"I'll tell."  
  
"No you wont." "Yes I will."  
  
She nodded. "Ok. Go ahead."  
  
He snorted. "Probably wouldn't do any good." He leered at her. "Watcher's pet."  
  
She sniffed. "Why don't you go tell Giles how boring the next *two* weeks are gonna be for you?"  
  
"TWO! It was ONE. And it's almost half over. Haven't I suffered enough today?"  
  
She looked at him confusedly. "We tickled you."  
  
"And that doesn't count as suffering? It's bleedin' torture!"  
  
She shook her head. "Not the kind two weeks will induce."  
  
He stared at her. "Slayer. Please? I'm having a really bad day. Cleaning and stocking is no fun. Especially with a psychotic Watcher who is determined to tickle me to death!"  
  
She smiled. "You had a fun day. Admit it. I promise not to tell Giles."  
  
He huffed. "I did not." Looked at his wings. "Maybe just a little. I'm still new at this 'having friends' thing. But that doesn't mean that I like being tickled to death."  
  
She gave a sigh. "We'll let up."  
  
He looked at her. "You don't have to. I mean, it's fun for you, Niblet, and Rupert. That's good enough for me."  
  
She gave a small head shake. "No, we've been getting on you a lot. We'll let up a little. Not a lot. But a little."  
  
He nodded. "Okay. Whatever you want." He caught a stray thought of hers. "I do *not* like being tickled!"  
  
"Yes, you do. It's like... being attacked without the violence. Friend- fighting, and you love it."  
  
"I love violence! I do not love tickling. Why would I love something that makes my whole body itch, and drives me nuts?!"  
  
She reached a hand out and wiped away a smudge of hotwing sauce. "Because it's our way of being friends and not.... icky-sweet about it."  
  
He considered. "Well, maybe you're right. And what if I do? I'm not weird. Uh, well. I am weird. But not like that."  
  
She hid a smile at his defensiveness. "It's ok. You're not weird. Everyone likes it."  
  
He thought a moment. "Then why do we always want it to stop? And then jump at the next chance to make them do it again? Emotions are confusing."  
  
She nodded. "Yes, they are. But they're what makes us real."  
  
He nodded back. Accepting. "Yeah. Real." He chuckled. "All I know is, I always feel calmer, more relaxed after you, Bit, or Rupert is done. Must be a chemical release or something."  
  
She shrugged. "I have no idea." Picked at the lettuce on Giles' sandwich.  
  
"I'll have to look it up."  
  
Giles returned, catching Buffy picking at his sandwich. "Buffy! Maybe I should have told Spike to make *you* behave." He sat next to her, poking her ribs.  
  
She gave a small snort. "Sorry." Innocent smile.  
  
Giles rolled his eyes and looked to Spike, who shrugged and finished his last hotwing, then laid on his back next to Buffy. Giles picked up his sandwich. "Ah, well, Anya needs my help out in the store, so I suppose Spike is free to go. Except that it's still a time until sunset. Perhaps you two can get some training in?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "No DoubleMeat today. But Spike might want to sleep a little."  
  
Spike nodded. "Yeah. For some strange reason, I'm feeling completely exhausted. I wonder why?"  
  
Giles chuckled. "Alright. Do whatever you want. If either of you need anything, I'll be right out there." He turned and walked back the way he came, taking his sandwich with him.  
  
Buffy gave a small pout at her snack disappearing.  
  
Spike grinned at her, and held up part of the sandwich that he had hidden in his hotwing container.  
  
Her eyes widened. "You thief!"  
  
"Meat stealer. Do you want it or not?"  
  
She nodded. She reached out a hand to take it from him.  
  
He pulled it back, waved it in the air, the chuckled and handed it over.  
  
She bit into it, smiled in thanks.  
  
He grinned. Laid back, pillowing his hands under his head. "So, what do we do now?"  
  
She shrugged. "You can sleep, and I'll whoop on a bag."  
  
He cracked an eye and looked at her. "And when I wake up, you'll whoop on me, am I right?"  
  
"If you want."  
  
He smiled, closing his eyes. "I guess so." Opened them and shook a finger at her. "Only no ticking allowed during sparring. That last time was not fair. I was winning."  
  
"Ok." She sighed. "I need to seriously start working out again. I'm slower. I'll have to make more time to train."  
  
"Slow? You? Like a jet plane."  
  
She laughed. "Thanks. My reaction time is slower in a fight. I need to work on it. Giles will help me with techniques."  
  
"And I'll help by giving you a real, unlive, scary master vampire to try them on."  
  
"Cool. It's been awhile since we've fought." She tried to contain a smile at the thought. "It's gonna be great."  
  
He grinned up at her. "Yeah. But we both fight fair. We'll have to make some rules for that sometime. So we know when someone's cheating."  
  
She smiled. "We never had to cheat, we were too busy trying not to die."  
  
"Yeah. Well now you cheat. And I want to know when."  
  
She frowned. "How do I cheat?"  
  
He grinned. "Three things. One: You fake me out, acting like you're gonna kick and then punching me in the nose. Two: You hit too hard for sparring. I had bruises from the last time. And Three: Every time you get me pinned, you bloody torture me. That's cheating."  
  
She whined, "I only tickled you once. And, hello? I'm supposed to feint punches and kicks."  
  
"Twice. And I know, but you don't have to do it all the time! Let *me* think I'm winning for once."  
  
She gave a half grin. "Ok. And I'll be softer."  
  
"Also, my nose is very sensitive, and it really hurts when you hit it, so please don't."  
  
"Ok."  
  
He leaned back and closed his eyes again. "Thanks. Wake me when you're ready for a challenge. Or in three hours, whichever comes first."  
  
She smiled, and ran a finger down his cheek.  
  
He grinned and opened an eye. "Yes?"  
  
She shrugged. "Just felt like it." Ran a hand over his hair once and walked out to the training room.  
  
========================================================================== ========  
  
Buffy walked into the backroom, looking at Spike curled on the floor. She had changed into a sports bra and warm-ups. She tapped his shoulder. "Spike."  
  
"Mmph."  
  
She tapped again. "Spike."  
  
The vampire cracked one eye. "Huh?", he said sleepily.  
  
She tried to dim the wattage of her smile. "Fight time."  
  
The other eye popped open and both blue orbs gleamed with excitement. "Why didn't you say so?!" He practically hopped up off the floor, then paused to stretch. "Let's go!"  
  
Her wrists and knuckles were already taped. Buffy made the way to the back room. Spike followed, barely able to contain his excitement. "So, how do we start?"  
  
She shrugged. "I dunno." She swung her left fist lightly. "Probably with a punch."  
  
Spike hopped from foot to foot like an excited puppy. "You start. Oh, hang on.." He vamped out. "Realism. Now go."  
  
She shook her head, the adrenaline dizzying her. "Just a minute."  
  
He nodded, relaxed slightly. Waiting.  
  
She jerked her head to each shoulder sharply. She still felt things that were his once in a while, and him vamping always did it. "Ok."  
  
He snarled excitedly and readied himself for her attack.  
  
Buffy cleared her vision and psyched herself up. Left jab.  
  
Spike half blocked, half dodged and threw a right hook. Let out another excited snarl.  
  
Blocked, feinted a left hook, ended it with a counter-clockwise roundhouse.  
  
As always, the feint got him. Spike staggered slightly, out of practice in taking Slayer hits. He shook his head and snarled, dropping down and using a leg to swipe the Slayer's legs out from under her.  
  
She landed on her back, bounced back quickly in a fighters' stance.  
  
He let out a laugh. Threw a straight jab. "I'd forgotten how much fun this is!"  
  
Buffy took it in the side, gave a slight wince. But the joy of a battle fired her eyes. She gave him a right jab to the stomach, using his slight forward pitch to tap his left cheek, then his right, letting him know she could have creamed him.  
  
He snorted, and barreled into her stomach like a football player, throwing them both to the ground and trying to get her in a position that he would have been able to use his fangs, if he'd wanted to.  
  
She shoved one hand under his chin, the other gripped in his hair. One snap, they both knew...  
  
He froze. Then growled, shook her off, and stood, offering her a hand. "Fine. You win."  
  
She took it, allowed herself to be tossed to her feet. "Yeah. You were close."  
  
A snort. "Don't patronize me." Sat on a box, sulking. "I just can't win at anything with you."  
  
She tossed him a one of the two bottled waters she had in the room. She twisted the lid off hers and took a deep drink. "I think you let me win sometimes."  
  
"I wish I did."  
  
She smiled, chugged again.  
  
He snorted, took a drink. "Well. I guess it's a good thing I don't win. If I did, then any vamp could."  
  
Buffy allowed herself to drop into a sitting position on the adjacent wall to him, knees up. "Very true." Using the back of her taped wrist, she wiped at the sweat streaming from her.  
  
Spike took another drink and likewise wiped his brow. "Well, at least I know you have to work for it."  
  
"Hmph. You're getting out of shape."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"You used to just growl and hop around after we got this far in a fight." She made bunny ears out of her fingers. "Like a demented little bunny."  
  
He snorted. "One: I don't hop. And two: I am not out of shape. You looked tired, so I stopped, too."  
  
She wiped at the sweat again, irritated with it. "Yeah, what's up with that? And you do hop." Her bunny ears bounced up and down. "Hop, hop."  
  
He growled. "I'm gonna hop *you* in a minute. And you've already been training while I was sleeping. You're tired. I'm not."  
  
She shrugged. "All right." Capped her water bottle. "Ready for two?"  
  
He stood up, stretched his back. "Always ready to dance with you, luv."  
  
She took her stance. Stopped. Turned her back. "Attack."  
  
"With your back turned?"  
  
She turned back, rolled her eyes. "You're right. Because the vampires are gonna be nice, and tap me on the shoulder and give me time to warm up before I stake them. Or stand in line and wait to go one on one with me, as opposed to jumping me..."  
  
He grinned. "Ok, turn around. But I'm not gonna warn you, or attack right away. It'll be a surprise."  
  
She turned with a nod, not expecting anything less.  
  
Spike stood for a moment. Growled, moved right, growled again, moved left, growled again. Then he was quiet, slinking up behind the Slayer, then he pounced, hitting her square in the back. All of his movements and sounds must have confused her. She didn't even seem ready for him, right away, that is.  
  
As soon as she got her bearings, she ducked into a side-roll, displacing him as she ran her elbow into him while they rolled. She jumped to her feet.  
  
Spike "Oof"ed, when the elbow went into his side, and hopped up as fast as he could. The snarling vampire threw a series of punches and kicks, using all his speed and skill.  
  
She blocked, deflected, throwing her own punches as quickly as she could. She made to slap him on the side of the head with a fist, the momentum considerable. She waited for the block, the leverage him grabbing her fist would give her. He did. She swung a leg square into his chest, pushing him back, using the arm he held to make her kick a flip, and landed on her feet, fists up.  
  
Spike hit the ground hard on his back, and something popped. "Ow!" He sat up, rubbing his lower back, no longer vamped. "Bloody... landed on a rock or somethin'."  
  
She stopped, dropping her pose. Knelt beside him. "Let me see."  
  
He pulled his hand away from the sore muscle on his back. "Pulled something, I think."  
  
She moved behind him, pulled at his damp shirt, sticking to his back.  
  
He turned his head around as far as he could. "Sorry. I'm sweaty."  
  
She ignored his apologies to stare fixedly at his back. "Where?"  
  
He motioned to his lower spine, just above his waist. "There."  
  
She frowned, felt around it. The muscle was knotted, and she knew he had hurt it when he missed the corner of the mat. "This is going to hurt for a second."  
  
He nodded, gritted his teeth.  
  
She dug her thumbs into the middle of the knot, and smoothed outwards. After her initial brutality, she was gentle, kneading softly.  
  
He winced at first, then began to purr happily at the unexpected massage.  
  
Buffy was intently focused on the abused muscle. She ran her fingers over it horizontally, then vertically. She used her thumbs to rub small circles on it.  
  
Spike closed his eyes and purred louder.  
  
When she was finished, she ran her hand over it, feeling for tension or a knot. None. "Do you feel any better?"  
  
He nodded. "*I love you,*" he purred to her.  
  
The words came more slowly to her lips, with less ease and grace than his. "I love you, too."  
  
He smiled at her, knowing it still wasn't easy. "I know." He leaned back, laying on the mat. "Can we maybe stop for tonight, luv? I'm tired, and liable to really hurt myself the next time you flip me."  
  
Buffy nodded. "I was gonna say the same."  
  
He chuckled. "Cept that I didn't flip you."  
  
She smirked slightly. "Yeah.... you didn't."  
  
He looked up at her. "I could've, but I didn't. Didn't feel like it, you know."  
  
She was serious. "You could've broken my wrist."  
  
He closed his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry. Got a bit... carried away."  
  
She shrugged. "You didn't. But you could have."  
  
"I know..", he said quietly. "And that scares me."  
  
She shook her head, crawled to get her water bottle. Leaned against a wall. "No. You could have broken my wrist. Opportunity written all over that stupid move, and you didn't."  
  
He looked at her. "Yeah. You're right. Want to lay out sparring rules, now? Since the relationship rules have gone so well."  
  
From behind him she gave an eyeroll. Because so many were abided by. "Sure."  
  
"Ok. Uh, how about no flipping if we're close to the edge of the mat?"  
  
She moved into his line of sight. "Ok."  
  
"Your rule."  
  
She shrugged. "I can basically take it all."  
  
"Come on, luv. There's got to be something."  
  
She thought, and hard. "Well, be careful tossing me around by my shoulders, they get enough abuse as is."  
  
He nodded. "Agreed. Hey, how are you feeling right now?"  
  
She took a large swig of water. "Dehydrated and gross. Yourself?"  
  
"I share the dehydrated part." Picked up his water and took a long drink. "But I'm also feelin' pretty good. Happy. Content. But that's probably from you rubbing my back."  
  
She gave a slow smile.  
  
"You got any achy muscles? So I can return the favor?"  
  
"One?"  
  
"Yeah. Anything."  
  
She pulled off her shoes, and rolled the warm-up pants to her knee on her left leg. Pointed at her calf. "It pulled when I turned the flip."  
  
He smiled and crawled over to her, holding her leg in his lap and kneading the muscle gently, finding the pull and working it out with slow, rhythmic rubbing.  
  
She laid flat on her back, her leg in his lap, and she winced as he rubbed the right spot. She was going over the move in her head. Too uncalculated, too risky. She'd have to work on it.  
  
He worked the pull out, testing the surrounding muscle to see if there were any other pulls. Finding none, he lay down next to her, purring contentedly. "Better?"  
  
"Mmm..." There was a frown line between her eyebrows, she was thinking.  
  
"What's on your mind, luv?"  
  
"That move was stupid. I needed... more leverage. I couldn't pull that in a cemetery. I can't count on them being strong enough to give me the leverage, or dumb enough to let go at the right time."  
  
"Hey!", the vampire said indignantly.  
  
She sighed. "You know what I mean. If they were smart, they'd hold on for dear unlife and snap the Slayer's wrist in half."  
  
He smiled at her. "But letting go is a reflex. You want to be able to catch yourself when you fall. But you're right. Promise me you won't try that on patrol, ok?"  
  
She gave an affirmative nod. "I don't want Dawn to try it out."  
  
"We'll give her some extra instructions the next time she trains with us." He grinned. "You know what, though? Aside from severely needing a shower, I'm feeling really good right now."  
  
She felt like someone had taken the cotton they stuff in aspirin bottles and shoved a hundred of them in her brain. "Good."  
  
He yawned. "Tired, though. You?"  
  
"Fuzzy. Drained."  
  
He chuckled. "Drained. Good word to use when you're laying next to a vampire." He reached over, stroked her hair gently. "Wanna take a nap? I'll stay with you."  
  
She smiled, loving the thought. "I wonder if Anya or Giles needs help finishing up."  
  
He smiled back at her. "Probably not. If they needed us, they could find us." Stroked her hair again, snuggled against her, slipping an arm around her waist. "Go to sleep."  
  
Her eyes fell shut with his words, and she could almost feel herself leaving consciousness behind. Behind her eyes burned, and she felt dry. She ignored the woozy feeling, and did as Spike said. Slept.  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
Spike lay quietly, watching his Slayer sleep. He was worried about her. It wasn't like her to be so tired. And he had noticed her lack of eating much lately. And drinking. Of course, he hadn't been feeding much either, but that didn't worry him. She worried him. He stroked her hair gently.  
  
Buffy stirred slowly under his hands. Her vision was blurred, which she counted off to her dozing, and she sighed. Her speech was rough from her slumber. "How long?"  
  
He glanced at the clock. "Three hours, nearly. Giles is still here, but Anya went home an hour ago."  
  
She dragged herself to a sitting position, gave Spike a small smile where he still lay and stretched.  
  
He yawned hugely, and wiped his brow. 'When the hell did I start sweating in my sleep?', he wondered.  
  
Buffy stood, looking at her still-taped hands. "Never done that before."  
  
He sat up. "Must be hot in here. Sometimes it's a pain being mostly cold- blooded." Stretched and yawned again. Rubbed at his eyes to get rid of the post sleep fuzziness.  
  
She stretched her arms quickly, said, "Do you feel like sparring?"  
  
He grinned up at her and climbed to his feet. "When don't I?"  
  
She gave an appreciative laugh and took her stance.  
  
He started to vamp out, but some instinct said no, so he decided to lash out with a kick instead.  
  
She dodged to the right, using her arm to deflect what her body couldn't move. She swung into a left hook.  
  
He grabbed her fist, throwing her off balance, and landed a quick jab to her stomach.  
  
Her body jerked forward, a natural reaction, but she planted a fist on his ribs in a reverse punch while he lifted her hand.  
  
He vamped on reflex, snarling at her, and went into a series of quick hi/low punches.  
  
Her head swam as his eyes flashed and his demon came forward. She wobbled to her left as Spike landed a high punch on her right shoulder.  
  
Spike paused, looking at her. She seemed shaky. "You okay, luv?"  
  
She planted her feet, locked her knees. "Fine." Swung at him again.  
  
Missed completely. Spike hadn't even dodged. His stomach felt kind of weird, and he wondered if it was coming from her. "You sure?"  
  
Maybe locking her knees wasn't the best of ideas. She stumbled again and they gave out. She landed on them on the mats, everything moving too fast, while she was helplessly slow. She weaved left and right, looked up at Spike.  
  
He was back in human form, and he dropped to his knees next to her. "I'm going to get Rupert."  
  
Her eyes were glazed, and she blinked once, confusedly, before passing out.  
  
========================================================================== =========  
  
Her head spun, eyes burned, and there was horrible dryness in the back of her throat. She cracked her eyes open slowly to look around. The Magic Box. Black couch... She strained herself to make out an out-of-focus Spike and Giles whispering quietly.  
  
"I tell you, Rupert, I didn't even touch her. Barely touched her shoulder, she weaved. She threw a punch, completely missed, fell down, and passed out."  
  
"I know, Spike. I was watching the surveillance monitors. Look, I think she's waking up.."  
  
Buffy looked at them focusing on their faces intently, ignored the waves of nausea. She was sure she looked confused.  
  
Spike ran a hand over her hair. "Hey, luv. You scared us for a minute. Almost started my heart beating. How you feel?"  
  
She made her drinking face.  
  
He chuckled. "I know. Me too."  
  
Giles touched her hand. "What happened, Buffy? Do you remember?"  
  
She tried to swallow what saliva she could muster then said, "We took a nap. And when we woke up, we were gonna spar."  
  
"I know. Spike told me, and I was watching on the surveillance monitors. You just... fainted."  
  
That rankled. And it showed on her mulish expression.  
  
Spike looked at her. "Are you sick, luv? You haven't been eating much lately."  
  
She shrugged. "Kinda... hot. Fuzzy. Haven't been hungry."  
  
Giles placed a hand on her forehead. "Maybe you're coming down with the flu."  
  
Spike's eyes grew wide, and he wiped his sweat-soaked curls out of his eyes. "I'll go get the thermometer." He didn't even wait for the response, practically running to the bathroom.  
  
She looked at Giles, perfectly miserable. "I don't get sick."  
  
Giles smiled. "Once every three years isn't never. Everyone gets sick, Buffy. Even me, even you."  
  
She frowned. She had never not had her mother to take care of her. "Will you sit with me?"  
  
Giles nodded. "I'll stay as long as you need me."  
  
She took his hand and pulled him to sit on the couch.  
  
He gently tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Want to talk about anything?"  
  
She put a pillow on his lap, rested her head on it. "I've never felt that weak. It was odd, too, because, even when I feel sick, and I'm in the middle of a fight, my adrenaline pumps anyway, ya know? I don't feel sick till the end."  
  
Giles nodded. "Yes. I know. Perhaps it's a virus."  
  
"But today, Spike and I were so into the fight, right in the middle, where all the heat is, I just felt like dropping."  
  
"And you did, apparently," Giles said with a quiet laugh. "You scared Spike pretty bad. He thought he did it. I've never seen a vampire sweat like that."  
  
She gave a half laugh. "First time I've ever seen him sweat was tonight." Her look turned thoughtful. "Giles?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Do we *have* a thermometer?"  
  
"Yes. It's in the bathroom, with the aspirin and ice packs."  
  
"Oh." She sat up slowly, the blood rushing from her head. "He should be back by now."  
  
"Maybe he couldn't find it." He looked at her. "Can you still feel him?"  
  
"I can always feel him.." She trailed off, standing shakily.  
  
Giles gripped her arm gently. "I'll go get him. You should lie back down..."  
  
At that moment, the door opened, and Spike walked in, holding the doorjamb and panting slightly. "Rupert? Buffy? I... don't feel so good.." He took one step through the door, and passed out.  
  
She unsteadily made her way to the entrance, dropped on her knees beside him. Buffy lifted her eyes to Giles', holding Spike against her. "He's burning up."  
  
"Bloody hell," Giles cursed, hurrying over to the vampire and Slayer. "Buffy, are you sure that the feelings of weakness were from you?"  
  
She calmed herself, knowing panic wouldn't help Spike. "I... I don't know... I mean, when-" her eyes lit up. "I felt so horrible when he changed, when his demon came to the fore..."  
  
Giles knelt beside them, his hand on Spike's forehead. "See if you can block it. If it is him." He pried the thermometer out of Spike's hand, and stuck it in his mouth. "This will take a moment."  
  
Buffy had to sit, eyes closed for three minutes before she could do it successfully. "All right.. I... I blocked him."  
  
Giles took the thermometer out of Spike's mouth, looked at it, and cursed. "100.4." He looked at Buffy. "Normal for a vampire is a little higher than room temperature. That means that Spike has a twenty seven degree fever. That's higher than Angel's after Faith poisoned him."  
  
Her eyes snapped. She was back. She was the Slayer. "What do I do? Who do I kill?"  
  
Giles shook his head. "No one. It looks like a vampiric flu. I knew it was going around, but I didn't think of it. Spike must have inhaled the dust of an infected vampire. That's how it's spread. It has no effect on humans, and isn't fatal to vampires, but it causes all the same symptoms as the human flu." Giles cursed again. "And I had a vamp flu shot for him, and forgot about it. Bloody hell."  
  
She made a frustrated noise. "Give it to him!"  
  
"It wouldn't help now. He's already infected. The only thing we can to is make him comfortable, and try to get the fever to break."  
  
"But-" She reigned in her fear. "Will the fever peaking dust him?"  
  
Giles shook his head. "It would have to get above 120 to do that. He's far from it. I'm going to pull the air conditioner down low. Make it as cold in here as possible, that might help. Get him on the couch, and get his shirt off. Then get some of the ice packs and rub him with them. Try to get him to wake up, I need to know when he staked the infected vamp to see how far the infection has progressed."  
  
She nodded, and set out to do what he said. "Giles?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"At nightfall, can we move him to my house? He- he sleeps better there." She avoided his eyes as she pulled Spike's cotton shirt off.  
  
Giles nodded. "Good idea. I'll drive. I'm worried about him too, Buffy. He's... grown on me. Kind of like mold on bread."  
  
She gave a soft laugh. "Yeah... he does that."  
  
"You noticed?", Giles said with a chuckle. "I'm going to call around, see what I can come up with. Until then, if he wakes up, try and get him to drink water. Dehydration is a big problem with this. They barely even feel hungry."  
  
"Blood or water?"  
  
"Water for right now. He may get nauseous, and it's better for him to throw up water than blood. Maybe some orange or apple juice. Get some vitamins into him."  
  
She nodded. Walked quickly to get icepacks and started placing them on his chest. "Spike??"  
  
Spike stirred and shivered. "Cold..", he muttered, not opening his eyes.  
  
She ran a hand over his face, used her mental link. 'I know it's cold, but pay close attention. When did you stake a sick vamp?'  
  
'When it's not me...', the reply floated back.  
  
She wanted to shake him. 'Spike... don't play right now. Pay attention. Tell me.'  
  
'Sorry, luv. Tired. One of the one's with the Tralfgar was actin weird. Made me sneeze...'  
  
'Ok... I have... water here, and you need to drink some, ok?'  
  
He opened an eye. 'Ok. My tummy hurts...' Even his thoughts sounded sick. Like a sick little boy. Scared, too.  
  
She ran a hand over his damp curls, helped him drink. "It'll be ok," she spoke quietly. "We'll take care of you. I promise." 


	18. Nothing New.

Dawn looked over at Buffy from her perch on the coffee table. Her sister was asleep, a definite change from the past 46 hours, where she had been firmly, unwaveringly by Spike's side, barely blinking. The Spike's side thing hadn't changed much, she mused. Buffy was sitting on the floor, her head tiled to the side on the couch cushion that held Spike's feet. If it wasn't scary, it'd be sweet. As for the vampire himself, his fever had risen to 109, and it was nearing the time to take his temperature again. He shook, with icepacks piled on his body, sweat still pouring off his body. Dawn picked up the thermometer, crouched over his body. She shook him slightly. "Open your mouth..." She slipped it between his lips, and under his tongue.  
  
Spike moaned, shivering madly. He nearly spit the thermometer back out. This was the fifth time he'd tried to get rid of it.  
  
She smoothed a hand over his sticky curls. "Shhh.... it's ok..." with her other hand, she held the thermometer in place.  
  
Spike's eyes opened momentarily, glancing around, not really focusing on anything, then he reclosed them and relaxed again. As much as someone shivering all over can relax.  
  
She muttered praise to him for laying still. She prayed the entire time that it would be lower.... Just one degree lower. One degree less from a dusty vampire death... "I'm glad you're a vampire," she whispered. "If you were a person... You'd be dead already."  
  
The thermometer beeped.  
  
She slipped it out, closed her eyes in vast hope, then looked at the digital numbers. Her heart sank, and she stifled the urge to cry. 111.4  
  
Spike moaned and tossed, not really asleep, but not awake either. His eyes were too hot to be comfortable either opened, or closed, so he continually blinked, trying to cool them instinctively. He vamped for an instant, but felt worse, so changed back. He'd been trying that about every hour, as if his demon was checking on him.  
  
Buffy stirred as one foot hit her lightly in the head. "Hmmmm...?" She jerked awake, reality flooding in. "Dawnie, why'd you let me sleep? Is he- How is he?"  
  
Dawn's stiff upper lip emerged, and she took pity on Buffy's plight. Finally gets her shit together and Spike gets ready to kick off. He wouldn't leave her. Not if Dawn had a say. "It rose two degrees. Go get more icepacks. Load some bags up with ice from the freezer, too."  
  
Buffy nodded, and headed off to the kitchen.  
  
Spike tossed again, moaning and muttering in his restless sleep. "Annabelle?", he said quietly. "You here?"  
  
Dawn looked confused. "Spi-"  
  
"Annabelle, back to bed. Mum'll skin us if you're up..", he whispered, taking Dawn's hand gently in his own hand, hot as a bag of popcorn. "You're sick, too. Shouldn't be out of bed..."  
  
She let him hold her hand, kept her silence, just one hand stroking his hair. She wondered if she was doing the right thing and said, "I wanna sit with you."  
  
He coughed for a moment. "No. Back. Now... You're worse than me.. And Dad won't be happy if you're up, either. We gotta get better, or we won't get to go to the play next week..."  
  
She nodded. "Ok, S-William."  
  
"Good girl, Annie. I love you..."  
  
"I... I love you, too..."  
  
Spike shivered again, but was quieter and stiller than he'd been for some time. And he actually seemed to be asleep.  
  
Dawn slipped her hand from his, almost running to the kitchen. "Buffy- Buffy, Spike, he-"  
  
Buffy stopped loading ice bags and took Dawn by the shoulders. "What?" her voice was urgent, scared. "What?"  
  
"He... called me Annabelle. Who- who is she?"  
  
Buffy's eyes clouded in pain, but she let go of Dawn to keep loading the bags, and handed four to Dawn to carry into the living room behind her. "Annabelle was his sister, Dawnie. He loved her a lot. She- she died when she was nine." She spaced their icebags out over his body. "Pneumonia. They both had it."  
  
Dawn made an empathetic face, and slipped her hand back in Spike's, watching him sleep, while Buffy held her hand and did the same.  
  
Spike opened one eye, looked around, and actually focused on the sisters. "B-Buffy? Bit? W- where am I?"  
  
Buffy almost leapt off the table to frame his face with her hands. "You're... at home, Spike. The- our house."  
  
He was still shivering violently, but managed to nuzzle her hands slightly. "Don't feel good. Hot... and cold at the same time..." He was actually breathing, but it was coming in ragged, panting gasps.  
  
Buffy tried to calm him. "You're sick.. the... the vampire flu, whatever. Your fever is spiking, but... but it'll be ok."  
  
It was hard to tell if his shaking was from the shivering, or from fear. "Scared. Help..."  
  
"We're trying to cool you down. It'll be ok." The words were as much for her as they were for him.  
  
Dawn sat, wide-eyed, not sure of what to do.  
  
Spike sniffed, then went into a violent coughing fit, a little blood came up. He put his hand to his mouth, and looked at it. "Eugh."  
  
Buffy gave her sister a look. Mouthed, 'Call Giles.' Dawn scampered off, leaving the two. "You're very, very sick." She picked up a cup of juice she had had sitting there for hours, in the vain hope he would wake up. "I want you to drink this."  
  
He looked at it, trying to focus. "Why's everythin' fuzzy? What is it?"  
  
She sat on the couch, one hand supporting his head, the other tilting the cup at his lips. "It's fuzzy, cuz you don't feel good. And this is juice. It has vitamins, and... it's... wet. You need liquids."  
  
He leaned forward, sipping at the cup. Then looked at her. "Straw? Maybe?"  
  
She set the cup down, striding quickly to the kitchen to grab a straw. "Stupid," she muttered to herself. "Should have thought of it." She dropped it in the cup, and they tried again.  
  
Spike managed to drain the cup quickly with the aid of a straw. After all, vampires are good at sucking liquids through small holes. He leaned back. "Sorry..."  
  
She smoothed his curls, calming herself. "Don't be sorry... for... whatever."  
  
"Time. I'm taking up all your time. Could be doing something else... Where'd Bit go?"  
  
"I'd rather be here, if that's ok." She curbed the sarcasm. He was sick, allowances had to be made. "She's... on the phone. Why?"  
  
He shook his head. "Weird dream... S'all."  
  
She let his hallucination pass. "Ok."  
  
He craned his neck, trying to look around, then he refocused on Buffy. "You're okay? Ya passed out..."  
  
She nodded. "I'm fine... um... kind of... exhibited your symptoms..."  
  
Shaky chuckle. "Sound like Rupert..."  
  
She grinned, attempted at humor again, "Yeah, well, for this scare, I hope you feel my cramps."  
  
He shook his head. "Got nothin' there to cramp, luv." He coughed, but no blood this time. "My stomach hurts." Seemed to think a moment. "Actually, everythin' hurts..."  
  
She sighed sadly. "I know. I'm sorry."  
  
Gave her a lopsided grin. "You didn't shove dust up my nose, luv."  
  
She pondered. "I DID tell you to wait for backup, huh?"  
  
"Not till after..."  
  
She didn't know what to do. She wanted him to stay up, to talk to her, reassure her he was fine. But he needed rest, too. To BE better. She leaned forward, kissed his forehead.  
  
Tried to purr, came out shaky. "...love you...", he said quietly, fighting sleep.  
  
Her eyes watered. "I'm not saying that until you get up, or start to get better." She smiled into his sleepy eyes. "So you can't die."  
  
Slow smile. "Always with the incentive..." He yawned. His shivering had toned down a notch while they'd been talking. He raised a hand, ran it through her hair. "I'll be okay, luv. I promise. I keep my promises, you know..."  
  
She bit back her tears, but one beat her. "I know. You really scared me."  
  
"I scared me, too..."  
  
She found his hand in her hair, gripped it, left it in her lap. "Go to sleep."  
  
Nodded slowly. "...good... idea.." His eyes closed and his breathing slowed, but didn't stop.  
  
There was a quiet knock at the door.  
  
She let go of his hand slowly, walked to the door. She opened it to morning's first rays bouncing through the door and Giles.  
  
"Good morning, Buffy. I came as soon as Dawn called." He stepped inside. "How's he doing now?"  
  
She made sure her voice was normal. Strong. "Sleeping. We spoke. I got him to drink some juice."  
  
Giles nodded. "Good. I must say, I don't think I've ever been this worried about a vampire, before." He shook his head. "Spike just... he's..." He trailed off, not being able to find the right words.  
  
Buffy's bottom lip shook, always a first sign of distress. "Spike," she finished his sentence.  
  
Giles nodded, pulling Buffy into a tight hug. "He'll be alright, Buffy. He will. We'll all make sure of that. Xander, Anya, and Willow are down at the shop, researching the vampire flu. Unfortunately, there's a lot on killing vampires, and not a lot on helping them. But I'm sure that we'll find something. Everyone's on this, Buffy. They all care."  
  
She nodded her head in his chest. "I know." She looked up in his eyes. "He claimed me."  
  
Giles' eyes got wide, and he licked his lips. "I see..."  
  
She figured it was time clarify. "After I claimed him."  
  
Giles was confused. He released Buffy and walked into the dining room, where they could sit down, and still see Spike on the couch. "You... claimed him? How..?"  
  
She sat in the chair beside him. "We... tried something... Because I could feel him vamp out. So he spoke to me in vampiric, and I understood it."  
  
Giles was interested. "You understood vampiric? I didn't think that was possible. It's a relatively easy language to read, but you usually need a demon to process it. All it is, is a bunch of purrs, chirps, and growls. It made sense? What did he say?" The Watcher was going into research mode.  
  
"Um... just.... things. Anything I asked him to. Slayer, Buffy, hate, love..." She skipped over... things.  
  
Giles nodded. "And what happened then?"  
  
Her eyes dropped to her lap. Lowered her voice. "I... I bit him."  
  
"On purpose?"  
  
She felt suddenly, deeply shamed. "Yes."  
  
Giles placed a hand on her shoulder. "Buffy, remember what I said? That I couldn't be disappointed in you? I meant it. Please tell me, I want to know? What about the ritual? You knew the words?"  
  
She looked up at him, eyes still shy. "I could smell my blood in his body... and I... I said... Me in you, you in me, always, forever. But I said 'you in me' in vampiric, I think. Spike said I did."  
  
Giles was surprised. "I didn't think normal human vocal cords were capable of that. This is incredible. And then? He bit you?"  
  
She shook her head. "I... bit-drank from him. We went to sleep, and in the morning... he claimed me."  
  
"When was all this?" He wagged a playful finger in her face. "Now I get all the high necked T-shirts and scarves you've been wearing. You have a new scar, don't you?"  
  
She gave a small smile, nodded. "A couple, maybe one week ago. Giles..?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
She looked him in the eye, praying he'd understand the significance of her statement. "He... asked if he could claim me. If it was what I wanted."  
  
Giles nodded. "And you said yes. Because you love him."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Giles chuckled. "Actually, I already knew that you'd told him. He wouldn't shut up about it yesterday."  
  
She sighed. Then smiled. "Really?"  
  
He smiled back. "Yes. At first, he was working quietly, but he kept humming something. I think it was Beauty and the Beast. I asked him to stop, because it was distracting, but he said that he was excited about something, and couldn't help it. So I left it at that. But he said, 'You want to know why I'm excited?'. I knew he wouldn't leave me alone until he told me, so I said yes. And then he practically screamed, 'She's bloody in LOVE with ME!'. Liked to have given me a heart attack."  
  
She gave an embarrassed chuckle.  
  
Giles laughed. "Then he did a little dance, I nearly died laughing. And he kept repeating it, over and over, driving me nuts. So, finally, I pounced him. That was the first time."  
  
She sighed. "Do... do you want to know what sealed it, Giles?"  
  
He nodded, leaning his elbows on the table.  
  
She said softly, "He *asked* to claim me. No one... no one ever asked. And he was ready, expecting, no. And he was ok with it."  
  
Giles smiled. "He's a very surprising person, isn't he?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "If I'd have said no, he would have nodded, gave me a hug and said he loved me. I wasn't- wasn't going to tell you. Because, people claiming vampires isn't normal, and I was afraid you'd think I was- "  
  
"Weird?"  
  
"Bad."  
  
Giles took her hand gently. "Add that to the list of things that I will never think you are, Buffy. You're not bad. The circumstances have never happened before, that doesn't mean it's not normal. It's not often that a vampire falls in love with a human and doesn't sire the human. Personally, I think you're very lucky to have Spike. He's... special. In an annoying, want to stake him half the time way."  
  
She smiled in thanks. "He is... He was making jokes tonight."  
  
Giles laughed. "He's got a... what? 111 degree fever, and he's making jokes? Which bring's me to what I want to do the other half of the time, give him a big bloody hug! Don't tell him, though."  
  
She gave an earnest head shake. "Never." Then laughed. "He'll get better. He has to."  
  
"He will. And what's so funny?"  
  
"I told him I wouldn't tell him I love him till he got better. And you with the hugging."  
  
Giles shook his head. "I know. I absolutely hated him last year, and suddenly he's like my son. I have to admit, yesterday was the most fun I've ever had stocking that musty old back room. And thanks for the tip, by the way."  
  
She pouted. "I paid in *spades* for that one."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Don't ask."  
  
"I really want to know."  
  
She backpedaled. "Mmmm... aaahhhh... nothing much. Tiny tickles."  
  
Giles chuckled. "We are going to kill him, eventually, you know."  
  
She sighed. "As long as it's us, and not a stupid flu."  
  
"He's not going to die, Buffy. We are not losing another member of this group. If I have to personally call in every favor to the Council, and everyone I've ever known, we'll get him better. You have my word."  
  
She nodded her head. "If they're difficult, I can go kick their asses."  
  
Giles chuckled. "I don't think that will be necessary. You don't want to leave Spike, anyway."  
  
She agreed. "I guess not. I probably shouldn't have had Dawn wake you... He was pretty shaky for a minute... but, he's ok now, and you can go, if you want to, get some more sleep."  
  
Giles thought. "Would you mind if I stayed upstairs? Willow offered me her room, and if you need me, I'll be in the house."  
  
"That'd be great."  
  
He nodded, then stood and stretched, heading for the stairs. "When he's feeling better, I think I will hug him. See what he thinks of that..." He headed upstairs, chuckling to himself.  
  
She gave a small laugh, then went back to the living room to sit cross- legged on the coffee table, a blanket around her.  
  
========================================================================== ===========  
  
Buffy must have dozed off, because seemingly only seconds later, though she knew by the sun peeking around the drapes that was a fallacy, she woke to a mumbling.  
  
"...Gotta believe me, Dru...", Spike muttered, eyes closing and opening reflexively. "..Didn't mean to.. Don't say that!"  
  
She sat up, the name making her sleepiness evaporate.  
  
"Come on, Pet... I didn't... You know I... I do! I love you....", he continued muttering, the shaking from earlier returning with a vengeance. "Sorry... Don't... hurt her... Stop.. Sorry.." Gradually, the muttering ceased, and Spike was back asleep.  
  
Buffy stared at him. Disbelief made her brow lower. Anger firmed her lips. Bastard. She walked up the stairs to Willow's room, knocked.  
  
"Come in?", came Giles' sleepy voice.  
  
She opened the door. "I'm going in to work today. I've been off for too long. Gotta pay the electric." She gave a smile. "Might wanna watch Spike. Or not. You can keep sleeping. I just wanted to let you know."  
  
Giles yawned. "Oh, thank you. I'll keep an eye on him. I can sleep in the recliner." He sat up. "When are you leaving?"  
  
"As soon as I shower and get ready. Dawn left for school already."  
  
Giles nodded. "Alright. Anything I should know about Spike? Has his fever gone up, down? Any new developments?"  
  
Her eyes flashed, but she said stiffly, "No. Nothing new." She closed the door, making her way to the shower.  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
Buffy walked in the door, giving it a good slam. She had been reprimanded twice for her attitude towards customers today, but damn if they didn't remind her of Spike just a little. She tromped up the stairs, ready to battle the smell.  
  
"...and it turns out to be a rhinoceros!", Spike says from the living room. "Right next to me. Gave me a heart attack." This was followed by a chuckle from Giles.  
  
She froze on the stairs, her hackles rising. The jerk even had the nerve to heal??  
  
"How close was it?", Giles asked.  
  
"Bleedin' near standing on me. That's the last time I sleep on the ground in Africa, let me tell you."  
  
"I would imagine."  
  
She continued on up the stairs, only coming downstairs when her hair, a slight amount of makeup was done, and a coat of lip gloss was applied, wearing THE sexiest jamma's she owned. Soft pink silk pants, and a cream lace sleeping tank that came with it. Walked downstairs, every foot on the stair eliciting a curse in her mind.  
  
Giles was sitting next to Spike, who was half asleep again, placing a cool cloth on his forehead. He noticed Buffy. "Ah, Buffy. Guess who's awake?"  
  
Spike's eyes popped open. "Buffy. Hey, luv."  
  
She gave a small smile. "Spike. Hey, Giles." She turned, walked into the kitchen and yanked open the freezer, pulling out a pint of Ben & Jerry's Double chocolate vanilla icecream. She grabbed a spoon from the strainer and made her way back to the living room.  
  
Spike smiled at her. "It's nice to see you, luv." He eyed the ice cream. Giles gently whacked his shoulder.  
  
"No. Your fever is dropping, but we don't want you to get too cold too fast. No ice cream until it's back in at least the low nineties." He looked at Buffy. "I don't care how much he begs. Nothing but juice, water, and maybe a little blood now, since the nausea has passed."  
  
Spike stuck his lower lip out.  
  
She nodded. "Well, sleeping beauty, back from the land of Nod?" The gentle humor that should have been in her voice was absent, and she took a very large bite of icecream.  
  
Spike cocked his head. Was she mad at him? He decided that she was just tired. "Why don't you go on to bed, luv? You must have had a long day."  
  
"Speaking of long days," Giles said. "I need to be getting back to the Magic Box, and see if anyone has come up with anything new. I'll see the two of you tomorrow." He got up and headed for the door, waving to them.  
  
"Bye, Rupert!", Spike called after him.  
  
Buffy followed him to the door to hug him.  
  
Giles returned the hug. "If either of you need me, you know my cell phone number. I love you, Buffy."  
  
"Love you, too, Giles. Thanks for baby-sitting."  
  
Giles chuckled. "It was nothing. Spike's a very good patient."  
  
She made a non-committal noise and moved to let him close the door. He left, giving Buffy one final wave from his car.  
  
Spike sat up slightly. "How was your day, luv?"  
  
She arched a brow at him. "Revealing. I'll get you some juice."  
  
"Oh? Revealing how? Somethin' interesting at the old DoubleMeat?"  
  
She walked out to the kitchen, trying to get a hold on her anger. She shoved it into passive non-caring, and took the glass and straw back to him. "Just... the whole day. Hardly knew what to do with myself."  
  
He sipped the juice. "Did you miss me?"  
  
"Oh yeah." A list of things she missed doing to him today because he was sick and she was at work ran through her head. Oh yeah. She missed him all right.  
  
He grinned, sipping more juice, totally oblivious to her thoughts. "I missed you. Giles is okay, but you make a better nurse."  
  
"Was Dru a good nurse?" she asked curiously.  
  
He thought a moment. "Well, it depended on the day. Most of the time, she just ignored me. So, no." He chuckled. "Actually, she was a better nurse to her dolls than to me. Tells you where you rank in the scheme of things. I'm below inanimate objects that are already broken."  
  
She gave a small smile. "Hm. You're right, I think I better get some sleep. If you need anything, get Dawn."  
  
He smiled. "Okay. Good night, luv."  
  
Again, the small frigid smile. She picked up her icecream and headed upstairs.  
  
"Hey!", he called after her. "I'm getting better. You said you'd say it when you were sure I wouldn't die."  
  
She smiled, turned, and said honestly, "I'm not sure you won't."  
  
His eyes got big for a moment. "Uh, come again?"  
  
"Good night, Spike." She walked back up the stairs and to her room, closed the door firmly..  
  
Spike lay on the couch, trying to figure out what had just happened. 'She's pissed at me about something,' he thought. 'Maybe cause I didn't tell her that I was feeling bad the last few days. Oh well, when she's ready, she'll tell me.' 


	19. Cabana Boy.

She set a half-full mug of blood on the coffee table, and a full glass of juice beside it. Two days later and she was still vehemently pissed off. She set the glasses down and turned to walk back out of the room.  
  
Spike was thoroughly confused. She had barely spoken to him in two days. He was scared, upset, hurt, slightly mad, and still not completely over the flu! He picked up the juice, and took a sip, trying to sort out what was going on.  
  
Dawn went to walk into the room, and almost got frostbite when Buffy swept by. She sat on the couch next to Spike. "Man. What'd you say?"  
  
He shook his head. "I wish I knew! She's been like this for two days, and it's getting worse." He paused to cough a bit. "I just don't know. I wasn't even conscious that day! What the bleedin' hell did I do!?!"  
  
Dawn shrugged, passed it off for the moment. "Dunno."  
  
-========================================================================= ===========  
  
That night, for dinner, Buffy again dropped Spike's mug of blood on the coffee table with an audible thump, handed Dawn a tray of stir-fry and rice, and grabbed her coat. "Patrolling."  
  
Spike held back a tear that was threatening him. "Bye... luv."  
  
And that was it. The reigning Princess of Bitchiness had gone too far. Dawn stood as the door closed, said, "I'll be back. If I'm not... look for the body."  
  
Spike wasn't even really listening, anyway.  
  
She stormed out as per her sister, and caught up to Buffy in three long strides. "What the HECK is your problem??" Dawn yelled at her sister as she yanked her around by her arm.  
  
The reigning Princess of Bitchiness was feeling frosty. "Nothing is my problem. Go back inside, and eat your dinner. I worked hard on it."  
  
"Shut *up*! What you're working hard on is ruining what you've BEEN working so hard on to GET!"  
  
Buffy was exhausted. "You have no idea what you're talking about. Please go back inside."  
  
"Yes, I do! You're breaking Spike's heart, for NO APPARENT REASON, YOU PSYCHO-BITCH, and it's MEAN and I'm not gonna let you!"  
  
Buffy grabbed her sister's arm. "Wanna know what's MEAN, Dawnie? Mean, is hearing the man you let claim you mutter to another woman in his fevered sleep that he still loves her. Didn't mean a thing he ever said to me."  
  
Dawn's brow wrinkled. "I don't... You're mad at Spike for something he said while he was sick?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Started talking to Dru. She had to know that he wasn't serious. That he loved her, still. So much."  
  
As her sister's eyes filled with tears, Dawn tried to unsuccessfully hide a twitch of her lips, followed by a giggle.  
  
"*What* is funny, Dawn?"  
  
Dawn finally laughed. "You. God, Buffy. You're acting like he said the wrong name during sex. He was *hallucinating*. It could have been anybody."  
  
"It was Dru."  
  
Dawn shrugged, in a 'who-cares' manner. "So? It could have been a cabana boy for all Spike meant it."  
  
Buffy gave her sister a measured look and pointed to the house. "Your dinner will get cold."  
  
Chuckling, Dawn walked back to the house, calling over her shoulder, "Good slaying!"  
  
As she reentered the house, there was a muffled sniffing, and then the sound of a loud nose blow. Spike was sniffling into a Kleenex, a few tears making their way down his cheeks.  
  
Dawn sighed and sat down on the couch. Picked up her plate and took a bite of the stir-fry. "You two are so retarded."  
  
Spike sniffed, and looked at her. "Huh?"  
  
"You two are so retarded," she enunciated carefully. "Ask her why she's pissed at you."  
  
He sniffed again, and wiped at a tear. "I don't want to. I get the feeling that she hates me all of the sudden. And I don't think I could take it if she yelled at me right now."  
  
Dawn frowned and shoved a forkful of stirfry in her mouth. Around it, she mumbled, "Grow some."  
  
"*What* did you say?"  
  
She gave him a level look. "I *said*, grow some, soul boy."  
  
He growled at her. "THAT was uncalled for, Dawn. And not needed, at that."  
  
She snorted. "Whatever. My opinion stands. She's treating you like shit, and you're not even mad. You're letting her whip you, which is so... not Spike-like. So I say again, grow some."  
  
"For your information, I am mad. And she has not 'whipped' me. And if you say that one more time, you are going to regret it."  
  
She stood with her now-empty plate. "All right. We'll say it in British. I think that's how you said it anyway. Grow some wrinklies, Spike, and either put up, or shut up."  
  
Spike growled. "Dawn. You. Are. Making. Me. Mad," he enunciated slowly.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "It's about time someone did."  
  
"I am this close to pouncing you. Quit while you're ahead."  
  
"First of all, never been afraid of you. Second, I could have you pinned in three seconds, which we're not even gonna bother with, cuz Buffy'll kick both our butts later, cuz you're still weak."  
  
"I am NOT weak!", he said standing up quickly, and instantly regretting it as the room spun. "Oohhhhh." He sat down quickly. It was either that, or puke his juice.  
  
"Now, are you done being stupid with the wrong person?" Dawn reprimanded sternly.  
  
His eyes were closed as he fought off the sudden wave of nausea. A slow nod.  
  
She gave a great huff. "Good, cuz Dawson's on in ten minutes, and quite frankly, I didn't want that hanging over me, ruining my enjoyment."  
  
Quiet chuckle.  
  
========================================================================== ===========  
  
Buffy came in the door quietly, knowing the house should be asleep by now. She was upset. Patrolling had been a waste of her time. An ill Chihuahua could have taken on the two vamps she had dusted that night. Frustration was brewing, and she slid off her coat to hang on the rack.  
  
Spike was stretched out, sound asleep, on the couch. He was wearing the pair of glasses that Willow had brought from his crypt earlier, and there was a copy of Gone With The Wind lying open on his stomach. He had obviously fallen asleep while reading.  
  
Buffy fought the over-whelming urge to sigh and smile, reminding herself that she was indeed furious with that individual. She moved the book quietly, placed it on the table. Reached carefully for his face, pulling the glasses off gently.  
  
Spike twitched a little, recognized her scent, and relaxed, even letting out a quiet purr.  
  
Her eyes narrowed. Oh... he *would* purr in his sleep at her. She turned to go upstairs to sleep for work in the morning.  
  
'Don't go...', the thought plea entered her mind.  
  
She sighed, and turned around. "Don't play in my mind."  
  
"I didn't know how far you'd gotten, and I wanted you to hear me."  
  
"I'm hearing."  
  
He gave her a tentative smile. "Stay down here with me?" His eyes were still sunken from the flu, and he coughed after the words got out.  
  
Made her feel like she was kicking a puppy. "A few minutes. I've got work tomorrow."  
  
Smile got bigger. "Whatever you can spare. I was getting lonely."  
  
Her patience was wearing thin. "Didn't Dawn stay with you?"  
  
"Yeah. But she went to bed awhile ago, and I've been all alone." He motioned to the book. "Just me, Rhett, and Scarlett here."  
  
She nodded. "That Rhett's a bastard."  
  
"Tell me about it. Luv? Can I ask you something?"  
  
"I suppose."  
  
"Why are you mad at me? I... I thought.. we were doing so well, and... I just... I don't understand."  
  
She scoffed. "I thought so, too. Funny, isn't it."  
  
He flinched at her tone. "Please, Buffy. I want to fix it. But I can't, if I don't know what I did."  
  
Her eyes were burning. Anger and hurt were hers, her soul burned with it. "And you don't even know."  
  
He felt the anger, the pain that was coming off her in waves, tried to block it, but the feelings were too strong. A tear slid down his cheek. "No. I- I don't."  
  
Tears were threatening her own eyes, and only pride kept them at bay. "If you don't know, there's no point in telling you."  
  
He was panting from the onslaught of her emotions. "Luv...please..."  
  
"No, Spike. I'm just... I need... I'll be back later."  
  
"SLAYER! Tell me, damnit! I can't even help if you don't tell me!" He growled, standing up slowly, fighting her emotions with his own. "What the HELL is wrong with you, huh? I sleep all day. I wake up, and you suddenly hate me? What the bleedin' HELL did I DO!!!" He took a step toward her, shaky, but standing.  
  
She stood as well, facing off. "Sleep is damned revealing, don't you think? Dreams- things you see tell you a whole hell of a lot, don't they, Spike?"  
  
"What are you TALKING about? I had a fever! I didn't dream! I was too busy trying not to die!"  
  
Her voice was suddenly quiet, calm, and very wrathful. "I would *never* have let you claim me, if I'd known then-"  
  
"What!? Known what?"  
  
Her voice broke in a shout. "That you still love her!!"  
  
"WHO!?"  
  
She threw up her hands. "I'm leaving. I've got to... I've got to go. Leave. I'll be... doesn't matter where. I'll be back in a few days maybe." She went to walk past him.  
  
He moved as fast as he could, grabbing her arm and spinning her around. "Oh no you don't. You are not leaving until you tell me what the HELL is going on here. I gather that I said something while I was asleep. I don't know what. But if you tell me, I can probably set it right. If you don't want to, well, the only way you're getting out of this house is to stake me and walk through my dust!"  
  
"Druscilla," her mouth formed the name, open ire in her tone. "Let me leave."  
  
His eyes grew wide, but he didn't release her arm. "What? I do NOT love Dru."  
  
"YES you DO! I WILL NOT *SHARE* my feelings, MY claim with that WHORE. I won't play second fiddle, not for you, not for anyone." Her voice was a calm rage. "Let. Me. Go."  
  
"You are not sharing with anyone, Buffy. I. Love. You. Only you. What do I have to do to prove it to you? Anything."  
  
Her eyes were hurt, and she almost whimpered, "You said it, Spike. 'Gotta believe me, Dru... You know I do. You know I love you.' You said it."  
  
He suddenly remembered the dream. "Luv. Did I say something else, along the lines of 'Don't hurt her'?"  
  
Her bottom lip was trembling. "I think... I don't know. Spike." Her voice was weary, sad. "Please. Let me go." She couldn't not cry for very much longer. She had to get out... to see Giles. Giles would make it better.  
  
He released her arm. Sat back down. Said quietly, "I dreamed that Dru captured you. She was going to kill you, unless I said that I loved her. It was a nightmare. She didn't believe me. And she... killed you. Right in front of me.." He sniffed. Grabbed a Kleenex, wiped away the tears.  
  
Buffy was still unsettled. Had no idea what to say. So she said nothing, torn between her desire to believe him, and run to the door for safety.  
  
He had an idea. "Let me prove it."  
  
Her heart was in her throat, still biting back her own tears. "What?" Her voice was getting hoarse, tight.  
  
"Let me reaffirm our claim. And then we can go in my mind, and you can see how I feel about Dru. And you."  
  
She sat slowly, tentatively, on the edge of the couch opposite him.  
  
"Will you do it? Or do you still want to... leave." Last word said really quietly.  
  
He needed to understand. She needed to make him see. "You tore my heart out."  
  
"I know how it feels."  
  
"You weren't even conscious, and I was watching you, praying to God you would wake up." One tear won a battle against her. "And... in your sleep, when you are the purest form of who you are, you mutter that you love her." She swiped bitterly at the liquid on her cheek. "I couldn't even move."  
  
He sniffed. "It was a nightmare, luv. I didn't even mean it in the dream."  
  
They fell, hot, fast now. She didn't even bother to wipe them away. "I didn't-couldn't know that. And it just... hurt, and hurt, and I didn't know who to stake, you or her."  
  
Spike started crying right along with her, wanting desperately to hold her, to comfort eachother, but worrying that she'd hit him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry..", he kept muttering. "I want to stake myself if it would make you feel better."  
  
She rubbed harshly at her eyes. "Let's... let's do it, and if I still- If I don't... I'll go to- I'll go."  
  
He nodded, offering her a Kleenex and taking one for himself. "I'm.. I'm gonna have to bite you again, luv. Okay?"  
  
She nodded, just crumbling the tissue in her hand. She knew he'd never get around the turtleneck she wore. "I'm- I'm gonna-" she mimed pulling off her top. "That doesn't mean anything."  
  
He swallowed. "Uh, okay?"  
  
As she pulled it off, she mumbled, "It's a turtle-neck, and you couldn't bite around it." Setting it on the floor, she waited.  
  
He swallowed, closed his eyes, and vamped. Keeping his eyes closed the whole time, doing his best not to embarrass her. He scooted closer, placed his hands on her shoulders. "*Me in you...*"  
  
She sighed, somewhat petulantly, "You in me..." She felt the sorrow in him, in his demon.  
  
"*Always.*"  
  
Her own hurt rose. "*Forever.*"  
  
He let out a purring growl, and bit her, as gently as he could. 'Latch onto me, Slayer. While I'm biting..', he thought at her.  
  
Her hands came to rest lightly, flutteringly, on his shoulders. Her mind reached out. 'Mind or teeth?'  
  
'Teeth. If you latch on, and we suck at the same time, I should be able to pull you in.'  
  
She hissed out a sharp breath as he bit her, the pleasure pulling at her. She tentatively sank her teeth into his neck.  
  
Spike fought the intense waves of pleasure that coursed through him, focused on pulling her in. 'Suck. Now.'  
  
She drew on his neck, sucking, licking at the blood. Spike did the same, very glad his eyes were closed, otherwise they might have crossed. On instinct, he slid his arms around her, rubbing at her back as he licked up the blood from the shallow cut on her neck. 'You okay?'  
  
A small moan met his words. 'You?'  
  
For an instant, he paused his sucking and planted a kiss on her bare shoulder. 'That answer your question?'  
  
She shuddered and moved closer to him.  
  
'I'm gonna pull you in, now. Start searching for a thought that isn't yours.'  
  
She did, weeding through all sorts of her own, pleasure, pain, random things.  
  
'Tell me when you're in...'  
  
She searched. 'Trying....' She stopped searching as she heard Dawn say, "You two are so retarded." Then, "Grow some..." 'Got it...'  
  
Spike gave a mental shake of his head. 'Still can't believe she said... oh, never mind. Find Dru. In the back, somewhere. I'll be waiting...'  
  
Buffy looked around uncertainly. Things had been shuffled since the last time she had been in there. She shut her eyes, bringing a picture of the insane beauty to the fore. A low growl echoed through the area around Dru's image. Spike was pissed at her now. Her aura was dark, with a thread of gold in one place, but it was barely noticeable. Suddenly, Spike appeared as if he was standing next to Buffy. 'Now what?', he asked her.  
  
'I don't... I don't know, Spike... You brought us here.' Buffy stomach turned looking at her. Her heart ached.  
  
Spike stomach turned, and it wasn't the flu. He tried to figure out something to do. Then it hit him. 'Need a box. Be right back...' The image of Spike vanished momentarily.  
  
She was slightly panicked. Looked at Dru. 'I really hate you.'  
  
No answer from the insane vampiress. Spike reappeared, holding a small box, about the size of a cooler. 'I'm gonna fix this. Once and for all.'  
  
Buffy was unsure of what was happening. But she stood, quietly, as he did what he needed to do.  
  
He stared at the image of Dru. 'Too big.' A few well placed thoughts made it small enough to fit in the box. He stuffed it in, then looked around. 'Now what?', he said, more to himself than her. 'Ah!' He vanished again. A moment later, he reappears, carrying a bunch of chains and a huge padlock. 'This'll hold her.' He wraps the chains around the box, locking it with the padlock, then stood up, and handed the key to Buffy. 'Here.'  
  
She looked at the key.  
  
'Take it.'  
  
She took it. 'What- what do I do with it?'  
  
He shook his head. 'I dunno. Just keep it. Destroy it, that's better. Destroy it.' He looked around. 'I could probably find a stick of dynamite around here somewhere. We could blow up the whole box.'  
  
She shook her head, and ran a hand down his arm, till their fingers touched. 'Thank you.'  
  
He was confused. 'You.. don't want to destroy her?'  
  
She shook her head slowly. 'Dru... as much as I hate her, was a big part of you. Destroying her would mean a part of you is missing.'  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek. 'Not a part that I want anything to do with.'  
  
'There were good times. There're allowed to be- supposed to be good times. You had fun, you... loved her. You can remember the good.' She pressed the key back in his hands.  
  
He handed it back. 'Keep it. I don't want it. It... hurts.'  
  
She nodded, and looked down at the key till it disappeared.  
  
'If you ever need- or want- to remember, you'll find the key. It'll be waiting for you.'  
  
He sighed, feeling as if a huge weight had just flown off his shoulders. He took her hand. 'Come on. We'd better stop this. It wouldn't be a good thing if Bit came home and found us biting eachother and you without a shirt, now would it?'  
  
She grinned. 'I think we'd have some answering to do.'  
  
He grinned back. 'Let's go home. You know how.'  
  
She latched onto a thought all her own, and pulled into her own body. Spike did the same, pulling his fangs out of her neck and collapsing backwards, keeping his eyes closed. "Tell me when you've got your shirt back on, luv."  
  
She rubbed at her neck, knowing they'd both have huge hickeys the next morning. Her eyes lit, and she crawled very slowly up Spike's torso.  
  
"Uh, luv..", he said, feeling her on him. "What're you doing?"  
  
She relaxed slowly, letting him feel her whole body against his. "Keeping a promise."  
  
He swallowed, and tentatively laid a hand on her side. "What promise?"  
  
She let her lips hang just over his, not quite touching. "Well... I'm pretty sure you're not dying now," she whispered.  
  
He swallowed, kept his eyes closed. "Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah." She let her lips graze his on the word.  
  
He wanted to kiss her, GOD he wanted to kiss her, but she might have been teasing. That happened a lot lately, and he didn't want to push it. "And..?"  
  
She let her lips rest on his, just rest, not move, not rub, not graze. Just rest. Then she pulled back. "I love you."  
  
Spike's whole body relaxed, and he slowly opened one eye, focusing on her face. He ran the hand that was resting on her side up and around to rub her back gently. "I love you, too, Buffy...", he said, feeling choked up for some strange reason.  
  
She feathered a kiss across both his eyelids. He purred loudly, and pulled her down to claim her mouth as he had her neck, gently nibbling at her lip. Sighing, she let him, her hands moving over his torso, kissing him. Spike maneuvered around, trailing kisses and nibbling down her neck. 'God, has it really been a week?', he thought absently.  
  
'In three hours...' 'Then why are you letting me kiss you now?', he asked, nibbling under an ear playfully.  
  
Her breath shuddered out across his neck. "That's why," she said hoarsely.  
  
He purred, and continued his nibbling, interspersed with licking. Then he sucked lightly on her earlobe, using his blunt teeth to nibble at the same time. 'You do realize you're not wearing a shirt, right, luv?'  
  
She ducked her head, bit lightly on his collarbone. "Do you?"  
  
'That I knew,' he said playfully, choosing to respond mentally rather than quit his nibbling. 'When's Dawn due home?'  
  
She gave a small laugh, sucked on the flesh. 'You know Dawn's upstairs asleep.'  
  
He moaned. 'Well, how convenient...' Nibbled down her neck to play around her shoulder.  
  
She found one of his hands, began rubbing his palm while she bit softly across his collarbone.  
  
Spike had to pause to pant slightly. "Oh," he muttered. "Not fair..."  
  
She nipped at his throat, then sucked it softly. "You're complaining?"  
  
'Hell no...', he said mentally, duplicating her actions across her own collarbone.  
  
"Mmm..." Her hands streaked across his abs, moved to his arms.  
  
He continued along her collarbone, his hands sliding around her ribs and back. Feeling playful, he ran a finger lightly up her spine.  
  
She shivered, pressed down against him. He purred, working his way up the other side of her collarbone, to pay attention to the other shoulder. His hands continued to roam on her back.  
  
She ducked her head, tried to capture his lips.  
  
'I'm busy right now, please leave a message after the purr..', he said playfully, followed by a long, deep purr.  
  
'You're... bad...' she said.  
  
He chuckled. 'Don't you know it.' Started nibbling on the other earlobe.  
  
Her hands ran through his hair, kneading gently at the base of his neck.  
  
His eyes crossed again, and he moaned. 'Ahh. Now you're being bad..'  
  
'Leave a message...' She teased, then, just because she could, she rolled her hips, sucking gently at his throat.  
  
'How about.. You're killing me!', he said happily, followed by another moaning purr.  
  
She spread her knees, now on either side of his thighs, and eased him into a sitting position with her.  
  
He pulled back slightly, wanting to talk with his voice. "What're you doing, luv?"  
  
She shrugged. "I can reach your back better this way." Proving it, she leaned close again, her hands pressing softly as she nipped at his collarbone.  
  
He suddenly felt as if his whole body had turned to jell-o. He moaned happily, and quickly began to nibble her neck again, pressing his back into her hands at the same time.  
  
She tilted her head, whispered softly. "I love you."  
  
Oh, that did it. He went limp, overcome by emotions and sensations. "*I love you.. so much..*", he purred.  
  
She leaned back slowly. For the first time, said it in his tongue. "*I love you.*"  
  
Spike nearly passed out at that. No one... NO ONE had ever said that to him in vampiric. He was in heaven. His mouth moved, but nothing came out, he felt like he was going to collapse.  
  
She looked in his eyes, slightly fearful. "I said it wrong, didn't I?"  
  
"*No. Perfect....*" The door opened.  
  
Buffy scrambled for her shirt, unseating Spike in the process.  
  
Giles strode into the living room holding a book. "Buffy! I found...." He paused, taking in the scene of the two panting people, of Buffy straightening her shirt, and of Spike, sitting on the floor for some reason, with a very annoyed expression on his face. "Did I.. uh, interrupt something?"  
  
"No! No. We were just talking over some things that have been bothering us all week. What's up?" Tried to control the heat rising in her face.  
  
Giles stared at them. Spike was pulling himself off the floor, his annoyed look pointed alternately at Buffy and Giles. "Um. I found something that will make sure that Spike never catches the flu again." Then he figured it out. Eyed them suspiciously. "Were you two... making out, as it were?"  
  
"No." The denial was vehement. "We were fighting." She cast a desperate glance at Spike.  
  
Spike snorted. "Yeah. Fighting." He blew his nose. "Sorry, bout the snort."  
  
Giles removed his glasses, cleaning them on his shirt. "Ah, yes. Fighting. And that's why Spike has a bite mark surrounded by a hicky on his neck, am I right?"  
  
Spike blanched and started looking for his shirt.  
  
Buffy flushed, and pulled Spike's shirt out from under her, handed it to him without making eye contact.  
  
Spike accepted his shirt, slipping it on quickly, and planting himself back on the couch. 'Bloody embarrassing. It's like getting caught by both our dads at once!', the agitated vampire thought to her.  
  
Mournfully, she answered, 'I know... I feel like I'm gonna get grounded and you'll get yelled at....' She looked at Giles shyly.  
  
Giles stared at the couple on the couch, struggling to keep a straight face. He was losing. The looks on both of them... priceless. Giles started laughing, dropping his book on the floor and grabbing the wall for support.  
  
Spike stared at Buffy, then at Giles, obviously wanting her to tell him what to do.  
  
Discombobulated. That's what the whole situation was. And WHAT was wrong with Giles?? She shrugged at Spike worriedly.  
  
"Oh, God," Giles chuckled, still far from regaining control. "You two... the looks you gave me... Deer in the headlights... so funny!" He started laughing again.  
  
Spike rumbled low in his throat, but it was high pitched. A play growl. "Quit it, Rupert."  
  
Buffy started to giggle, then realized she was being laughed at. Reached across the couch to hold Spike's hand. "Can you imagine... what if that had been Xander?"  
  
Spike snorted. "We'd have had to call an ambulance." He looked at the stricken Watcher. "You know, I've about had enough of this. I owe him." He flashed her a playful, devilish grin. "Wanna help?"  
  
She shook her head. "This one's all you."  
  
He grinned at her. "Come on, luv. Don't you have somethin' you wanna get him for?" Through all this, the Watcher continued to laugh, unaware of the plot hatching three feet away.  
  
Buffy smiled. Nodded. 'Not long... he's kinda.... not young.'  
  
"Deal. Oh, Ruuuupeeerrrtt!", Spike called. Giles looked up, still chuckling. Noticed the gleam in the couple's eyes.  
  
"Buffy, Spike, what are you doing?" He started backing up, not noticing the recliner directly behind him.  
  
Buffy smiled. "Um.. I dunno why, but I really feel like doing this." She started to tickle her Watcher.  
  
Spike likewise pounced, together, they pinned Giles to the chair. Spike went right for the spot on his back that Buffy had shown him before. Giles laughed, uncontrollably, trying to fight back, but the two were too fast.  
  
Buffy tickled at his neck. "What should we make him do?"  
  
Spike grinned. "I'm happy now. You think of something. You're good at this."  
  
"Bufffffy! Spiiiiikke! Stooopp!", Giles laughed, squirming.  
  
She pondered. "Hmmmm... Giles..? What do I want from you?"  
  
"AAAnnnnyytttthhhiiinnnggg!!"  
  
"HA!", Spike laughed. "How do you like it, huh? Not so fun on the receiving end, is it?" He looked at Buffy. 'Not that I'll tell HIM that I have fun, you understand.'  
  
She smiled. "You can't ever- under any circumstances- ever, tell any of the Scoobies what we were- um... fighting about."  
  
"OOooookkk! Stooop!"  
  
Spike chuckled. "He agrees too easily. Where's the sport in this?"  
  
She laughed, relaxed her hands on Giles. "Come on, Mr. Big Bad. He agreed."  
  
Spike laughed. "Oh, alright." He relaxed and scratched for a moment to help alleviate the itching that he knew he caused. Then he walked over and flopped back on the couch, grinning happily. "Good to be on the giving side for once."  
  
Giles just lay there, panting.  
  
Buffy smiled, followed him back to the couch, sat very near his lap. "So... What's this about a cure?"  
  
"One... moment... please..", Giles panted. "Never... do that... again."  
  
Spike just chuckled.  
  
Giles took a couple of deep breaths. Relaxed. "Ok. Willow found something that will not only take away the last of the symptoms, but will prevent you from ever catching it again. There's a catch, though. It's a shot."  
  
Spike's eyes got wide. "Shot? As in needles, shot?"  
  
Buffy's hand found Spike's. "What- what catch?"  
  
"That's it. The catch is that it's a shot. And I know Spike's scared of needles."  
  
"I am not. They just... make me mildly nervous. That's all."  
  
Buffy thought to him for a moment. 'I'll kiss you the whole time they're giving you the shot. Will that make you feel better?'  
  
Spike thought for a moment. "Can I have a request, luv?"  
  
She was slightly nervous that he was talking aloud. "Ok."  
  
"I wish you two wouldn't do that. It's very disconcerting for those of us without a mental link," Giles said, cleaning his glasses again.  
  
Spike leaned over and whispered to Buffy, "After the shot, kiss the place the needle went in, ok? Make it hurt less."  
  
She swung her eyes to Giles. "On the arm, right? The shot?"  
  
Giles chuckled. "Yes. In the bicep."  
  
Spike flinched, and a minor shiver went through him.  
  
Buffy was relieved. "Done deal, tough guy."  
  
Spike grinned, then stared at her. "I thought I told you not to patronize me."  
  
She smiled. "Sorry."  
  
He laughed and hugged her, nearly falling off the couch with her. "I was kidding, luv."  
  
She snuggled into him. "I'm sorry, about... everything." She had completely forgotten Giles sitting, watching them.  
  
He kissed the top of her head gently, then glanced at Giles. Decided to say it differently. "*It's okay, luv. I love you.*"  
  
She smiled contentedly. 'Are we putting on a show, now?'  
  
He nuzzled her. "*I'm not.*"  
  
Giles just smiled at them, enjoying seeing both of them so happy.  
  
She bit his earlobe gently, whispered, "*I love you, William.*"  
  
Spike's eyes crossed, and he hugged her so tight that, had she been a normal human, he would have broken a rib. "God, Slayer," he said quietly. "Quit pressin' the buttons. Rupert's still here."  
  
"Dad?"  
  
"Yes, Buffy?"  
  
"I just told Spike that I loved him in vampiric. We had a huge fight, and we yelled, and screamed, and we reaffirmed the claim."  
  
Giles nodded. "I noticed the bite marks. But I'm guessing the two of you are okay now, right?"  
  
Spike nodded, then looked to Buffy. "I am if you are, luv."  
  
She nodded. "Much better." She licked her lips, leaned forward on the couch, her hand still tangled with Spike's. "If... either of us... wear the marks, or if we've got another cut, or bruise by it, please, never worry."  
  
Giles chuckled. "You're forgetting who did their senior thesis on vampiric habits and patterns, Buffy. I won't worry. Just as long as the two of you are happy. I love you both, you know."  
  
Spike's eyes got big, and a little watery. He looked at Buffy, as if to ask if he'd heard Giles correctly.  
  
She gave a small smile. 'We all love you.'  
  
One tear fell from each eye.  
  
Giles stood up. "Is he alright?"  
  
Buffy gave a slightly watery smile herself. "He's perfect."  
  
He squeezed her tightly again, burying his face in her hair, trying to stop crying. Giles sat on the arm of the couch and placed a hand on the vampire's trembling shoulder. "Sometimes I feel sorry for him. He's been so long without a family. Without anyone who really cares. This must be overwhelming for you, Spike."  
  
Spike nodded, his face still hiding in her hair.  
  
Buffy turned, letting him rest his head on her shoulder. Rocked back and forth gently, her hand resting on his back.  
  
Giles rubbed Spike's shoulder. "It's ok, Spike. It's ok.."  
  
Spike sniffed. "I know..", he said, his voice muffled by the Slayer's shirt. "I'm just... happy."  
  
She kissed his shoulder, not moving him. "Me, too."  
  
Spike cocked his head sideways, looking at Giles. "You... love me?"  
  
Giles nodded. "Like a son."  
  
Spike snuffled and nuzzled back into Buffy's shoulder again. He was worried that he was falling asleep, but didn't want this wonderful moment to end.  
  
Buffy smiled, leaned forward, forcing Spike to lie down. "Go to sleep."  
  
"Don't wanna..."  
  
Giles chuckled. "And I thought you were stubborn."  
  
She kissed him softly on the mouth. "It'll still be here when you wake up."  
  
He yawned. "Promise?"  
  
She gently sucked his bottom lip in her mouth, her head tilted so Giles wouldn't see it. She nipped it softly, then let him go. "*I swear.*"  
  
Giles shook his head and chuckled.  
  
Spike purred. "*Okay... love you...*"  
  
She said it in English, knowing Giles would understand why she needed him to hear. "I love you, too." She ran a hand over his eyes, closing them. "Sleep."  
  
Giles smiled. "Do you want to stay with him? Or do you need some help getting to bed?"  
  
She stood, hooked her arm through his. "Why don't you help me?"  
  
Giles smiled, and helped his surrogate daughter to bed, even tucking her and Mr. Gordo in.  
  
  
  
  
  
She set a half-full mug of blood on the coffee table, and a full glass of juice beside it. Two days later and she was still vehemently pissed off. She set the glasses down and turned to walk back out of the room.  
  
Spike was thoroughly confused. She had barely spoken to him in two days. He was scared, upset, hurt, slightly mad, and still not completely over the flu! He picked up the juice, and took a sip, trying to sort out what was going on.  
  
Dawn went to walk into the room, and almost got frostbite when Buffy swept by. She sat on the couch next to Spike. "Man. What'd you say?"  
  
He shook his head. "I wish I knew! She's been like this for two days, and it's getting worse." He paused to cough a bit. "I just don't know. I wasn't even conscious that day! What the bleedin' hell did I do!?!"  
  
Dawn shrugged, passed it off for the moment. "Dunno."  
  
-========================================================================= ===========  
  
That night, for dinner, Buffy again dropped Spike's mug of blood on the coffee table with an audible thump, handed Dawn a tray of stir-fry and rice, and grabbed her coat. "Patrolling."  
  
Spike held back a tear that was threatening him. "Bye... luv."  
  
And that was it. The reigning Princess of Bitchiness had gone too far. Dawn stood as the door closed, said, "I'll be back. If I'm not... look for the body."  
  
Spike wasn't even really listening, anyway.  
  
She stormed out as per her sister, and caught up to Buffy in three long strides. "What the HECK is your problem??" Dawn yelled at her sister as she yanked her around by her arm.  
  
The reigning Princess of Bitchiness was feeling frosty. "Nothing is my problem. Go back inside, and eat your dinner. I worked hard on it."  
  
"Shut *up*! What you're working hard on is ruining what you've BEEN working so hard on to GET!"  
  
Buffy was exhausted. "You have no idea what you're talking about. Please go back inside."  
  
"Yes, I do! You're breaking Spike's heart, for NO APPARENT REASON, YOU PSYCHO-BITCH, and it's MEAN and I'm not gonna let you!"  
  
Buffy grabbed her sister's arm. "Wanna know what's MEAN, Dawnie? Mean, is hearing the man you let claim you mutter to another woman in his fevered sleep that he still loves her. Didn't mean a thing he ever said to me."  
  
Dawn's brow wrinkled. "I don't... You're mad at Spike for something he said while he was sick?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Started talking to Dru. She had to know that he wasn't serious. That he loved her, still. So much."  
  
As her sister's eyes filled with tears, Dawn tried to unsuccessfully hide a twitch of her lips, followed by a giggle.  
  
"*What* is funny, Dawn?"  
  
Dawn finally laughed. "You. God, Buffy. You're acting like he said the wrong name during sex. He was *hallucinating*. It could have been anybody."  
  
"It was Dru."  
  
Dawn shrugged, in a 'who-cares' manner. "So? It could have been a cabana boy for all Spike meant it."  
  
Buffy gave her sister a measured look and pointed to the house. "Your dinner will get cold."  
  
Chuckling, Dawn walked back to the house, calling over her shoulder, "Good slaying!"  
  
As she reentered the house, there was a muffled sniffing, and then the sound of a loud nose blow. Spike was sniffling into a Kleenex, a few tears making their way down his cheeks.  
  
Dawn sighed and sat down on the couch. Picked up her plate and took a bite of the stir-fry. "You two are so retarded."  
  
Spike sniffed, and looked at her. "Huh?"  
  
"You two are so retarded," she enunciated carefully. "Ask her why she's pissed at you."  
  
He sniffed again, and wiped at a tear. "I don't want to. I get the feeling that she hates me all of the sudden. And I don't think I could take it if she yelled at me right now."  
  
Dawn frowned and shoved a forkful of stirfry in her mouth. Around it, she mumbled, "Grow some."  
  
"*What* did you say?"  
  
She gave him a level look. "I *said*, grow some, soul boy."  
  
He growled at her. "THAT was uncalled for, Dawn. And not needed, at that."  
  
She snorted. "Whatever. My opinion stands. She's treating you like shit, and you're not even mad. You're letting her whip you, which is so... not Spike-like. So I say again, grow some."  
  
"For your information, I am mad. And she has not 'whipped' me. And if you say that one more time, you are going to regret it."  
  
She stood with her now-empty plate. "All right. We'll say it in British. I think that's how you said it anyway. Grow some wrinklies, Spike, and either put up, or shut up."  
  
Spike growled. "Dawn. You. Are. Making. Me. Mad," he enunciated slowly.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "It's about time someone did."  
  
"I am this close to pouncing you. Quit while you're ahead."  
  
"First of all, never been afraid of you. Second, I could have you pinned in three seconds, which we're not even gonna bother with, cuz Buffy'll kick both our butts later, cuz you're still weak."  
  
"I am NOT weak!", he said standing up quickly, and instantly regretting it as the room spun. "Oohhhhh." He sat down quickly. It was either that, or puke his juice.  
  
"Now, are you done being stupid with the wrong person?" Dawn reprimanded sternly.  
  
His eyes were closed as he fought off the sudden wave of nausea. A slow nod.  
  
She gave a great huff. "Good, cuz Dawson's on in ten minutes, and quite frankly, I didn't want that hanging over me, ruining my enjoyment."  
  
Quiet chuckle.  
  
========================================================================== ===========  
  
Buffy came in the door quietly, knowing the house should be asleep by now. She was upset. Patrolling had been a waste of her time. An ill Chihuahua could have taken on the two vamps she had dusted that night. Frustration was brewing, and she slid off her coat to hang on the rack.  
  
Spike was stretched out, sound asleep, on the couch. He was wearing the pair of glasses that Willow had brought from his crypt earlier, and there was a copy of Gone With The Wind lying open on his stomach. He had obviously fallen asleep while reading.  
  
Buffy fought the over-whelming urge to sigh and smile, reminding herself that she was indeed furious with that individual. She moved the book quietly, placed it on the table. Reached carefully for his face, pulling the glasses off gently.  
  
Spike twitched a little, recognized her scent, and relaxed, even letting out a quiet purr.  
  
Her eyes narrowed. Oh... he *would* purr in his sleep at her. She turned to go upstairs to sleep for work in the morning.  
  
'Don't go...', the thought plea entered her mind.  
  
She sighed, and turned around. "Don't play in my mind."  
  
"I didn't know how far you'd gotten, and I wanted you to hear me."  
  
"I'm hearing."  
  
He gave her a tentative smile. "Stay down here with me?" His eyes were still sunken from the flu, and he coughed after the words got out.  
  
Made her feel like she was kicking a puppy. "A few minutes. I've got work tomorrow."  
  
Smile got bigger. "Whatever you can spare. I was getting lonely."  
  
Her patience was wearing thin. "Didn't Dawn stay with you?"  
  
"Yeah. But she went to bed awhile ago, and I've been all alone." He motioned to the book. "Just me, Rhett, and Scarlett here."  
  
She nodded. "That Rhett's a bastard."  
  
"Tell me about it. Luv? Can I ask you something?"  
  
"I suppose."  
  
"Why are you mad at me? I... I thought.. we were doing so well, and... I just... I don't understand."  
  
She scoffed. "I thought so, too. Funny, isn't it."  
  
He flinched at her tone. "Please, Buffy. I want to fix it. But I can't, if I don't know what I did."  
  
Her eyes were burning. Anger and hurt were hers, her soul burned with it. "And you don't even know."  
  
He felt the anger, the pain that was coming off her in waves, tried to block it, but the feelings were too strong. A tear slid down his cheek. "No. I- I don't."  
  
Tears were threatening her own eyes, and only pride kept them at bay. "If you don't know, there's no point in telling you."  
  
He was panting from the onslaught of her emotions. "Luv...please..."  
  
"No, Spike. I'm just... I need... I'll be back later."  
  
"SLAYER! Tell me, damnit! I can't even help if you don't tell me!" He growled, standing up slowly, fighting her emotions with his own. "What the HELL is wrong with you, huh? I sleep all day. I wake up, and you suddenly hate me? What the bleedin' HELL did I DO!!!" He took a step toward her, shaky, but standing.  
  
She stood as well, facing off. "Sleep is damned revealing, don't you think? Dreams- things you see tell you a whole hell of a lot, don't they, Spike?"  
  
"What are you TALKING about? I had a fever! I didn't dream! I was too busy trying not to die!"  
  
Her voice was suddenly quiet, calm, and very wrathful. "I would *never* have let you claim me, if I'd known then-"  
  
"What!? Known what?"  
  
Her voice broke in a shout. "That you still love her!!"  
  
"WHO!?"  
  
She threw up her hands. "I'm leaving. I've got to... I've got to go. Leave. I'll be... doesn't matter where. I'll be back in a few days maybe." She went to walk past him.  
  
He moved as fast as he could, grabbing her arm and spinning her around. "Oh no you don't. You are not leaving until you tell me what the HELL is going on here. I gather that I said something while I was asleep. I don't know what. But if you tell me, I can probably set it right. If you don't want to, well, the only way you're getting out of this house is to stake me and walk through my dust!"  
  
"Druscilla," her mouth formed the name, open ire in her tone. "Let me leave."  
  
His eyes grew wide, but he didn't release her arm. "What? I do NOT love Dru."  
  
"YES you DO! I WILL NOT *SHARE* my feelings, MY claim with that WHORE. I won't play second fiddle, not for you, not for anyone." Her voice was a calm rage. "Let. Me. Go."  
  
"You are not sharing with anyone, Buffy. I. Love. You. Only you. What do I have to do to prove it to you? Anything."  
  
Her eyes were hurt, and she almost whimpered, "You said it, Spike. 'Gotta believe me, Dru... You know I do. You know I love you.' You said it."  
  
He suddenly remembered the dream. "Luv. Did I say something else, along the lines of 'Don't hurt her'?"  
  
Her bottom lip was trembling. "I think... I don't know. Spike." Her voice was weary, sad. "Please. Let me go." She couldn't not cry for very much longer. She had to get out... to see Giles. Giles would make it better.  
  
He released her arm. Sat back down. Said quietly, "I dreamed that Dru captured you. She was going to kill you, unless I said that I loved her. It was a nightmare. She didn't believe me. And she... killed you. Right in front of me.." He sniffed. Grabbed a Kleenex, wiped away the tears.  
  
Buffy was still unsettled. Had no idea what to say. So she said nothing, torn between her desire to believe him, and run to the door for safety.  
  
He had an idea. "Let me prove it."  
  
Her heart was in her throat, still biting back her own tears. "What?" Her voice was getting hoarse, tight.  
  
"Let me reaffirm our claim. And then we can go in my mind, and you can see how I feel about Dru. And you."  
  
She sat slowly, tentatively, on the edge of the couch opposite him.  
  
"Will you do it? Or do you still want to... leave." Last word said really quietly.  
  
He needed to understand. She needed to make him see. "You tore my heart out."  
  
"I know how it feels."  
  
"You weren't even conscious, and I was watching you, praying to God you would wake up." One tear won a battle against her. "And... in your sleep, when you are the purest form of who you are, you mutter that you love her." She swiped bitterly at the liquid on her cheek. "I couldn't even move."  
  
He sniffed. "It was a nightmare, luv. I didn't even mean it in the dream."  
  
They fell, hot, fast now. She didn't even bother to wipe them away. "I didn't-couldn't know that. And it just... hurt, and hurt, and I didn't know who to stake, you or her."  
  
Spike started crying right along with her, wanting desperately to hold her, to comfort eachother, but worrying that she'd hit him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry..", he kept muttering. "I want to stake myself if it would make you feel better."  
  
She rubbed harshly at her eyes. "Let's... let's do it, and if I still- If I don't... I'll go to- I'll go."  
  
He nodded, offering her a Kleenex and taking one for himself. "I'm.. I'm gonna have to bite you again, luv. Okay?"  
  
She nodded, just crumbling the tissue in her hand. She knew he'd never get around the turtleneck she wore. "I'm- I'm gonna-" she mimed pulling off her top. "That doesn't mean anything."  
  
He swallowed. "Uh, okay?"  
  
As she pulled it off, she mumbled, "It's a turtle-neck, and you couldn't bite around it." Setting it on the floor, she waited.  
  
He swallowed, closed his eyes, and vamped. Keeping his eyes closed the whole time, doing his best not to embarrass her. He scooted closer, placed his hands on her shoulders. "*Me in you...*"  
  
She sighed, somewhat petulantly, "You in me..." She felt the sorrow in him, in his demon.  
  
"*Always.*"  
  
Her own hurt rose. "*Forever.*"  
  
He let out a purring growl, and bit her, as gently as he could. 'Latch onto me, Slayer. While I'm biting..', he thought at her.  
  
Her hands came to rest lightly, flutteringly, on his shoulders. Her mind reached out. 'Mind or teeth?'  
  
'Teeth. If you latch on, and we suck at the same time, I should be able to pull you in.'  
  
She hissed out a sharp breath as he bit her, the pleasure pulling at her. She tentatively sank her teeth into his neck.  
  
Spike fought the intense waves of pleasure that coursed through him, focused on pulling her in. 'Suck. Now.'  
  
She drew on his neck, sucking, licking at the blood. Spike did the same, very glad his eyes were closed, otherwise they might have crossed. On instinct, he slid his arms around her, rubbing at her back as he licked up the blood from the shallow cut on her neck. 'You okay?'  
  
A small moan met his words. 'You?'  
  
For an instant, he paused his sucking and planted a kiss on her bare shoulder. 'That answer your question?'  
  
She shuddered and moved closer to him.  
  
'I'm gonna pull you in, now. Start searching for a thought that isn't yours.'  
  
She did, weeding through all sorts of her own, pleasure, pain, random things.  
  
'Tell me when you're in...'  
  
She searched. 'Trying....' She stopped searching as she heard Dawn say, "You two are so retarded." Then, "Grow some..." 'Got it...'  
  
Spike gave a mental shake of his head. 'Still can't believe she said... oh, never mind. Find Dru. In the back, somewhere. I'll be waiting...'  
  
Buffy looked around uncertainly. Things had been shuffled since the last time she had been in there. She shut her eyes, bringing a picture of the insane beauty to the fore. A low growl echoed through the area around Dru's image. Spike was pissed at her now. Her aura was dark, with a thread of gold in one place, but it was barely noticeable. Suddenly, Spike appeared as if he was standing next to Buffy. 'Now what?', he asked her.  
  
'I don't... I don't know, Spike... You brought us here.' Buffy stomach turned looking at her. Her heart ached.  
  
Spike stomach turned, and it wasn't the flu. He tried to figure out something to do. Then it hit him. 'Need a box. Be right back...' The image of Spike vanished momentarily.  
  
She was slightly panicked. Looked at Dru. 'I really hate you.'  
  
No answer from the insane vampiress. Spike reappeared, holding a small box, about the size of a cooler. 'I'm gonna fix this. Once and for all.'  
  
Buffy was unsure of what was happening. But she stood, quietly, as he did what he needed to do.  
  
He stared at the image of Dru. 'Too big.' A few well placed thoughts made it small enough to fit in the box. He stuffed it in, then looked around. 'Now what?', he said, more to himself than her. 'Ah!' He vanished again. A moment later, he reappears, carrying a bunch of chains and a huge padlock. 'This'll hold her.' He wraps the chains around the box, locking it with the padlock, then stood up, and handed the key to Buffy. 'Here.'  
  
She looked at the key.  
  
'Take it.'  
  
She took it. 'What- what do I do with it?'  
  
He shook his head. 'I dunno. Just keep it. Destroy it, that's better. Destroy it.' He looked around. 'I could probably find a stick of dynamite around here somewhere. We could blow up the whole box.'  
  
She shook her head, and ran a hand down his arm, till their fingers touched. 'Thank you.'  
  
He was confused. 'You.. don't want to destroy her?'  
  
She shook her head slowly. 'Dru... as much as I hate her, was a big part of you. Destroying her would mean a part of you is missing.'  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek. 'Not a part that I want anything to do with.'  
  
'There were good times. There're allowed to be- supposed to be good times. You had fun, you... loved her. You can remember the good.' She pressed the key back in his hands.  
  
He handed it back. 'Keep it. I don't want it. It... hurts.'  
  
She nodded, and looked down at the key till it disappeared.  
  
'If you ever need- or want- to remember, you'll find the key. It'll be waiting for you.'  
  
He sighed, feeling as if a huge weight had just flown off his shoulders. He took her hand. 'Come on. We'd better stop this. It wouldn't be a good thing if Bit came home and found us biting eachother and you without a shirt, now would it?'  
  
She grinned. 'I think we'd have some answering to do.'  
  
He grinned back. 'Let's go home. You know how.'  
  
She latched onto a thought all her own, and pulled into her own body. Spike did the same, pulling his fangs out of her neck and collapsing backwards, keeping his eyes closed. "Tell me when you've got your shirt back on, luv."  
  
She rubbed at her neck, knowing they'd both have huge hickeys the next morning. Her eyes lit, and she crawled very slowly up Spike's torso.  
  
"Uh, luv..", he said, feeling her on him. "What're you doing?"  
  
She relaxed slowly, letting him feel her whole body against his. "Keeping a promise."  
  
He swallowed, and tentatively laid a hand on her side. "What promise?"  
  
She let her lips hang just over his, not quite touching. "Well... I'm pretty sure you're not dying now," she whispered.  
  
He swallowed, kept his eyes closed. "Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah." She let her lips graze his on the word.  
  
He wanted to kiss her, GOD he wanted to kiss her, but she might have been teasing. That happened a lot lately, and he didn't want to push it. "And..?"  
  
She let her lips rest on his, just rest, not move, not rub, not graze. Just rest. Then she pulled back. "I love you."  
  
Spike's whole body relaxed, and he slowly opened one eye, focusing on her face. He ran the hand that was resting on her side up and around to rub her back gently. "I love you, too, Buffy...", he said, feeling choked up for some strange reason.  
  
She feathered a kiss across both his eyelids. He purred loudly, and pulled her down to claim her mouth as he had her neck, gently nibbling at her lip. Sighing, she let him, her hands moving over his torso, kissing him. Spike maneuvered around, trailing kisses and nibbling down her neck. 'God, has it really been a week?', he thought absently.  
  
'In three hours...' 'Then why are you letting me kiss you now?', he asked, nibbling under an ear playfully.  
  
Her breath shuddered out across his neck. "That's why," she said hoarsely.  
  
He purred, and continued his nibbling, interspersed with licking. Then he sucked lightly on her earlobe, using his blunt teeth to nibble at the same time. 'You do realize you're not wearing a shirt, right, luv?'  
  
She ducked her head, bit lightly on his collarbone. "Do you?"  
  
'That I knew,' he said playfully, choosing to respond mentally rather than quit his nibbling. 'When's Dawn due home?'  
  
She gave a small laugh, sucked on the flesh. 'You know Dawn's upstairs asleep.'  
  
He moaned. 'Well, how convenient...' Nibbled down her neck to play around her shoulder.  
  
She found one of his hands, began rubbing his palm while she bit softly across his collarbone.  
  
Spike had to pause to pant slightly. "Oh," he muttered. "Not fair..."  
  
She nipped at his throat, then sucked it softly. "You're complaining?"  
  
'Hell no...', he said mentally, duplicating her actions across her own collarbone.  
  
"Mmm..." Her hands streaked across his abs, moved to his arms.  
  
He continued along her collarbone, his hands sliding around her ribs and back. Feeling playful, he ran a finger lightly up her spine.  
  
She shivered, pressed down against him. He purred, working his way up the other side of her collarbone, to pay attention to the other shoulder. His hands continued to roam on her back.  
  
She ducked her head, tried to capture his lips.  
  
'I'm busy right now, please leave a message after the purr..', he said playfully, followed by a long, deep purr.  
  
'You're... bad...' she said.  
  
He chuckled. 'Don't you know it.' Started nibbling on the other earlobe.  
  
Her hands ran through his hair, kneading gently at the base of his neck.  
  
His eyes crossed again, and he moaned. 'Ahh. Now you're being bad..'  
  
'Leave a message...' She teased, then, just because she could, she rolled her hips, sucking gently at his throat.  
  
'How about.. You're killing me!', he said happily, followed by another moaning purr.  
  
She spread her knees, now on either side of his thighs, and eased him into a sitting position with her.  
  
He pulled back slightly, wanting to talk with his voice. "What're you doing, luv?"  
  
She shrugged. "I can reach your back better this way." Proving it, she leaned close again, her hands pressing softly as she nipped at his collarbone.  
  
He suddenly felt as if his whole body had turned to jell-o. He moaned happily, and quickly began to nibble her neck again, pressing his back into her hands at the same time.  
  
She tilted her head, whispered softly. "I love you."  
  
Oh, that did it. He went limp, overcome by emotions and sensations. "*I love you.. so much..*", he purred.  
  
She leaned back slowly. For the first time, said it in his tongue. "*I love you.*"  
  
Spike nearly passed out at that. No one... NO ONE had ever said that to him in vampiric. He was in heaven. His mouth moved, but nothing came out, he felt like he was going to collapse.  
  
She looked in his eyes, slightly fearful. "I said it wrong, didn't I?"  
  
"*No. Perfect....*" The door opened.  
  
Buffy scrambled for her shirt, unseating Spike in the process.  
  
Giles strode into the living room holding a book. "Buffy! I found...." He paused, taking in the scene of the two panting people, of Buffy straightening her shirt, and of Spike, sitting on the floor for some reason, with a very annoyed expression on his face. "Did I.. uh, interrupt something?"  
  
"No! No. We were just talking over some things that have been bothering us all week. What's up?" Tried to control the heat rising in her face.  
  
Giles stared at them. Spike was pulling himself off the floor, his annoyed look pointed alternately at Buffy and Giles. "Um. I found something that will make sure that Spike never catches the flu again." Then he figured it out. Eyed them suspiciously. "Were you two... making out, as it were?"  
  
"No." The denial was vehement. "We were fighting." She cast a desperate glance at Spike.  
  
Spike snorted. "Yeah. Fighting." He blew his nose. "Sorry, bout the snort."  
  
Giles removed his glasses, cleaning them on his shirt. "Ah, yes. Fighting. And that's why Spike has a bite mark surrounded by a hicky on his neck, am I right?"  
  
Spike blanched and started looking for his shirt.  
  
Buffy flushed, and pulled Spike's shirt out from under her, handed it to him without making eye contact.  
  
Spike accepted his shirt, slipping it on quickly, and planting himself back on the couch. 'Bloody embarrassing. It's like getting caught by both our dads at once!', the agitated vampire thought to her.  
  
Mournfully, she answered, 'I know... I feel like I'm gonna get grounded and you'll get yelled at....' She looked at Giles shyly.  
  
Giles stared at the couple on the couch, struggling to keep a straight face. He was losing. The looks on both of them... priceless. Giles started laughing, dropping his book on the floor and grabbing the wall for support.  
  
Spike stared at Buffy, then at Giles, obviously wanting her to tell him what to do.  
  
Discombobulated. That's what the whole situation was. And WHAT was wrong with Giles?? She shrugged at Spike worriedly.  
  
"Oh, God," Giles chuckled, still far from regaining control. "You two... the looks you gave me... Deer in the headlights... so funny!" He started laughing again.  
  
Spike rumbled low in his throat, but it was high pitched. A play growl. "Quit it, Rupert."  
  
Buffy started to giggle, then realized she was being laughed at. Reached across the couch to hold Spike's hand. "Can you imagine... what if that had been Xander?"  
  
Spike snorted. "We'd have had to call an ambulance." He looked at the stricken Watcher. "You know, I've about had enough of this. I owe him." He flashed her a playful, devilish grin. "Wanna help?"  
  
She shook her head. "This one's all you."  
  
He grinned at her. "Come on, luv. Don't you have somethin' you wanna get him for?" Through all this, the Watcher continued to laugh, unaware of the plot hatching three feet away.  
  
Buffy smiled. Nodded. 'Not long... he's kinda.... not young.'  
  
"Deal. Oh, Ruuuupeeerrrtt!", Spike called. Giles looked up, still chuckling. Noticed the gleam in the couple's eyes.  
  
"Buffy, Spike, what are you doing?" He started backing up, not noticing the recliner directly behind him.  
  
Buffy smiled. "Um.. I dunno why, but I really feel like doing this." She started to tickle her Watcher.  
  
Spike likewise pounced, together, they pinned Giles to the chair. Spike went right for the spot on his back that Buffy had shown him before. Giles laughed, uncontrollably, trying to fight back, but the two were too fast.  
  
Buffy tickled at his neck. "What should we make him do?"  
  
Spike grinned. "I'm happy now. You think of something. You're good at this."  
  
"Bufffffy! Spiiiiikke! Stooopp!", Giles laughed, squirming.  
  
She pondered. "Hmmmm... Giles..? What do I want from you?"  
  
"AAAnnnnyytttthhhiiinnnggg!!"  
  
"HA!", Spike laughed. "How do you like it, huh? Not so fun on the receiving end, is it?" He looked at Buffy. 'Not that I'll tell HIM that I have fun, you understand.'  
  
She smiled. "You can't ever- under any circumstances- ever, tell any of the Scoobies what we were- um... fighting about."  
  
"OOooookkk! Stooop!"  
  
Spike chuckled. "He agrees too easily. Where's the sport in this?"  
  
She laughed, relaxed her hands on Giles. "Come on, Mr. Big Bad. He agreed."  
  
Spike laughed. "Oh, alright." He relaxed and scratched for a moment to help alleviate the itching that he knew he caused. Then he walked over and flopped back on the couch, grinning happily. "Good to be on the giving side for once."  
  
Giles just lay there, panting.  
  
Buffy smiled, followed him back to the couch, sat very near his lap. "So... What's this about a cure?"  
  
"One... moment... please..", Giles panted. "Never... do that... again."  
  
Spike just chuckled.  
  
Giles took a couple of deep breaths. Relaxed. "Ok. Willow found something that will not only take away the last of the symptoms, but will prevent you from ever catching it again. There's a catch, though. It's a shot."  
  
Spike's eyes got wide. "Shot? As in needles, shot?"  
  
Buffy's hand found Spike's. "What- what catch?"  
  
"That's it. The catch is that it's a shot. And I know Spike's scared of needles."  
  
"I am not. They just... make me mildly nervous. That's all."  
  
Buffy thought to him for a moment. 'I'll kiss you the whole time they're giving you the shot. Will that make you feel better?'  
  
Spike thought for a moment. "Can I have a request, luv?"  
  
She was slightly nervous that he was talking aloud. "Ok."  
  
"I wish you two wouldn't do that. It's very disconcerting for those of us without a mental link," Giles said, cleaning his glasses again.  
  
Spike leaned over and whispered to Buffy, "After the shot, kiss the place the needle went in, ok? Make it hurt less."  
  
She swung her eyes to Giles. "On the arm, right? The shot?"  
  
Giles chuckled. "Yes. In the bicep."  
  
Spike flinched, and a minor shiver went through him.  
  
Buffy was relieved. "Done deal, tough guy."  
  
Spike grinned, then stared at her. "I thought I told you not to patronize me."  
  
She smiled. "Sorry."  
  
He laughed and hugged her, nearly falling off the couch with her. "I was kidding, luv."  
  
She snuggled into him. "I'm sorry, about... everything." She had completely forgotten Giles sitting, watching them.  
  
He kissed the top of her head gently, then glanced at Giles. Decided to say it differently. "*It's okay, luv. I love you.*"  
  
She smiled contentedly. 'Are we putting on a show, now?'  
  
He nuzzled her. "*I'm not.*"  
  
Giles just smiled at them, enjoying seeing both of them so happy.  
  
She bit his earlobe gently, whispered, "*I love you, William.*"  
  
Spike's eyes crossed, and he hugged her so tight that, had she been a normal human, he would have broken a rib. "God, Slayer," he said quietly. "Quit pressin' the buttons. Rupert's still here."  
  
"Dad?"  
  
"Yes, Buffy?"  
  
"I just told Spike that I loved him in vampiric. We had a huge fight, and we yelled, and screamed, and we reaffirmed the claim."  
  
Giles nodded. "I noticed the bite marks. But I'm guessing the two of you are okay now, right?"  
  
Spike nodded, then looked to Buffy. "I am if you are, luv."  
  
She nodded. "Much better." She licked her lips, leaned forward on the couch, her hand still tangled with Spike's. "If... either of us... wear the marks, or if we've got another cut, or bruise by it, please, never worry."  
  
Giles chuckled. "You're forgetting who did their senior thesis on vampiric habits and patterns, Buffy. I won't worry. Just as long as the two of you are happy. I love you both, you know."  
  
Spike's eyes got big, and a little watery. He looked at Buffy, as if to ask if he'd heard Giles correctly.  
  
She gave a small smile. 'We all love you.'  
  
One tear fell from each eye.  
  
Giles stood up. "Is he alright?"  
  
Buffy gave a slightly watery smile herself. "He's perfect."  
  
He squeezed her tightly again, burying his face in her hair, trying to stop crying. Giles sat on the arm of the couch and placed a hand on the vampire's trembling shoulder. "Sometimes I feel sorry for him. He's been so long without a family. Without anyone who really cares. This must be overwhelming for you, Spike."  
  
Spike nodded, his face still hiding in her hair.  
  
Buffy turned, letting him rest his head on her shoulder. Rocked back and forth gently, her hand resting on his back.  
  
Giles rubbed Spike's shoulder. "It's ok, Spike. It's ok.."  
  
Spike sniffed. "I know..", he said, his voice muffled by the Slayer's shirt. "I'm just... happy."  
  
She kissed his shoulder, not moving him. "Me, too."  
  
Spike cocked his head sideways, looking at Giles. "You... love me?"  
  
Giles nodded. "Like a son."  
  
Spike snuffled and nuzzled back into Buffy's shoulder again. He was worried that he was falling asleep, but didn't want this wonderful moment to end.  
  
Buffy smiled, leaned forward, forcing Spike to lie down. "Go to sleep."  
  
"Don't wanna..."  
  
Giles chuckled. "And I thought you were stubborn."  
  
She kissed him softly on the mouth. "It'll still be here when you wake up."  
  
He yawned. "Promise?"  
  
She gently sucked his bottom lip in her mouth, her head tilted so Giles wouldn't see it. She nipped it softly, then let him go. "*I swear.*"  
  
Giles shook his head and chuckled.  
  
Spike purred. "*Okay... love you...*"  
  
She said it in English, knowing Giles would understand why she needed him to hear. "I love you, too." She ran a hand over his eyes, closing them. "Sleep."  
  
Giles smiled. "Do you want to stay with him? Or do you need some help getting to bed?"  
  
She stood, hooked her arm through his. "Why don't you help me?"  
  
Giles smiled, and helped his surrogate daughter to bed, even tucking her and Mr. Gordo in. 


	20. Scooby-age and Date-age

"Really, Spike," Buffy said exasperatedly. "It'll hurt less if you relax the muscle..."  
  
Spike stared up at her with wide eyes, switching between her and Dawn. "Look at the size of that! He could inject something into my heart through my neck with that bloody thing!" A large amount of panic with a small bit of absolute terror shone in the blue orbs.  
  
Buffy smiled, glanced at the truly smallish- to medium size needle Giles held, standing in their living room. "Remember, it just goes in, lets the liquid go, and comes out. Just like turning someone right?"  
  
Spike shivered. "...no..", he said in a small voice. "And my turning HURT!"  
  
She looked at Dawn. "Go get some hot chocolate ready, and pull out the double chocolate icecream."  
  
Dawn nodded and went to the kitchen.  
  
"Ice cream?"  
  
"If you're good," Buffy said.  
  
He looked at Giles again. "What constitutes 'good'?"  
  
Buffy smiled, and moved to sit on his lap. "Are you gonna stall all day?"  
  
He swallowed. "Maybe..." There was a trembling that was running through him. Buffy wouldn't have even noticed if she hadn't been sitting on him.  
  
She took pity, and using her thumb and forefinger, tilted his head to his right, to look at her. 'Focus on me.'  
  
A slow nod. '...okay...'  
  
'Close your eyes, and focus on me... on how fun what we were doing when we were interrupted was....'  
  
He closed his eyes. A slow smile spread across his face.  
  
Giles looked at her questioningly. "Now?", he whispered, wishing he had a mental link.  
  
Spike tensed again at the Watcher's voice.  
  
Buffy shook her head no. Pouted her mouth up in a silent, "Shhh..."  
  
Giles nodded.  
  
'I liked being with you....' She ran a finger across his right cheek, knowing the left side would get the shot.  
  
Spike began to relax again. Her touch always did it. He sighed. A tentative purr started. "*I like being with you, too..*"  
  
She let her mouth drift over his softly, her eyes open and on Giles.  
  
"Now?", Giles mouthed.  
  
When she claimed his mouth again, slightly harder, demanding his attention, she gave an almost imperceptible nod. 'On me... think of nothing but me...' She ran a finger over his scar, the scar she left. 'Me in you...'  
  
Spike kissed her back, almost forgetting why he was there. "*You in me....*"  
  
Giles slowly tensed over him, poising the needle. He looked at Buffy for final confirmation.  
  
Her eyes closed, knowing he'd take the hint. '*Always*.' Her mouth moved over his.  
  
"*...Forever...*"  
  
Giles slowly slid the needle into the vampire's arm. Except for a involuntary muscle twitch, he didn't even notice. Giles slowly emptied the contents of the needle, then withdrew it, settling back in the recliner.  
  
Buffy pulled back slowly.  
  
Spike opened his eyes, and immediately tensed up again. "Well? Where's the shot?"  
  
Giles chuckled.  
  
Buffy kissed him again, lightly, fleetingly. "All done."  
  
Spike cocked his head. "Huh?" He stared at her, then looked at Giles, who held up the empty needle. "You cheated!" "*Why am I not surprised.*"  
  
She narrowed her eyes, and stood. 'And you're complaining?'  
  
He grinned. "Do I ever?"  
  
She blushed a light shade of pink. "DAWN! Icecream! Cocoa."  
  
Dawn came in, balancing a bowl of icecream in one hand, and holding the hot chocolate in the other. "Special delivery for the big boy on the couch."  
  
Spike grinned and sat up, licking his now apple flavored lips.  
  
Dawn pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket, slapped it on Spike's shirt. It was a small smiley face sticker.  
  
He looked at it, reached to peel it off. "What's this?"  
  
She slapped at his hand. "Stop! It's a sticker, dummy. You get 'em when you go to the doctor, when you're little, to tell you you did good."  
  
He looked at her. "But I'm not little. And Rupert's not a doctor. Gimme the ice cream."  
  
Dawn sighed as he snatched it out of her hands.  
  
Took a big bite, grinned, and put the sticker back. "I'm a good puppy." Licked the spoon.  
  
Giles chuckled. "An emotional five year old. You weren't far off, Dawn."  
  
Dawn laughed, sat on the arm of the recliner by Giles. "I know. Big Bad. Big sissy, actually."  
  
Spike growled. "I am *not* a sissy. I don't like needles. That doesn't make me a sissy."  
  
"Of course not," Dawn clucked sympathetically. "You just had to have my sister make out with you for you to be able to bear it..." She glanced sideways at Giles. "Convenient, much?"  
  
Buffy blushed bright red.  
  
"I could have taken it without her," Spike pouted, then chuckled when he noticed Buffy.  
  
Giles laughed. "Yes. But they agreed to it yesterday."  
  
"That's enough, discussing Buffy's non-sex life." She looked at him, gave him 'the look', then continued to glare at Dawn. "Got me?"  
  
Spike chuckled, and held a bite of ice cream out to the Slayer.  
  
Dawn smothered a grin. Glanced at Giles again. "Got her?"  
  
Giles just smiled. "Doesn't apply to me."  
  
She shrugged compliantly, then noticed Buffy's truly distressed look. "Ok... Ok... I get it. I gotcha. No with the non-sex. But for the record, that was NOT non-sex that I walked in on last night, you were all... trancey, and biting... and WAY with the tople-" Her jaw snapped shut.  
  
Spike choked, sputtering on cocoa.  
  
"Gonna go... upstairs.. and uh.... do homework.. and.... clean my room..... and.... um... ya know..." She stood, edged her way to the entryway. "Upstairs..." She scampered up the stairs.  
  
Spike coughed, unable to talk.  
  
Giles groaned.  
  
Buffy was now quite pink, edging to a dark rose. "She dies..."  
  
"..tonight." Spike finished her sentence after the coughing fit. "I'll do it personally. When the HELL did she come downstairs!?"  
  
"I don't KNOW! If I KNEW would I have-" she stopped.  
  
Spike looked hurt.  
  
She stopped. Said more quietly, "I just meant, if I knew she was awake..."  
  
He took a bite of ice cream. "Yeah. I get it."  
  
Giles stood up. "Um, I'm going to.. get a glass of water now." He went to the kitchen.  
  
She took his wrist, made him put the spoon back. "Spike... I just... I wouldn't have been sitting topless in my living room, reclaiming you, if I knew Dawn would come downstairs.."  
  
He nodded. "I said I get it, luv. You're embarrassed."  
  
She shrugged self-consciously. "It'd be like her... walking in on us, or something.. it's private. That..." She ran her hand over his scar. "It's just for us..."  
  
He grinned, nuzzled her hand. "Share my ice cream?"  
  
She smiled back, relieved. "Ok."  
  
========================================================================== ===========  
  
Spike and Buffy headed for the Magic Box, hand in hand. He was excited, this being his first official Scooby meeting and all, but also nervous. And he couldn't help noticing that this was also the first time that Buffy had held his hand outside of their respective residences.  
  
Buffy was plain, straightforward nervous. This would hurt Xander. And affect how they thought, and Anya... oh, God, Anya...  
  
Spike felt Buffy's tenseness, and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "You doin' okay?"  
  
Dazzling smile, confident hair-toss. Man, did she have it down. "Great."  
  
He stopped. Cocked his head. Stared at her. Waited.  
  
Smiled again, brighter. What? Did she have to *blind* him or something?  
  
He snorted. "You're worried about something. And that makes me worried. So I'm not going any farther until you tell me exactly what's on your mind."  
  
Confused smile, slight headtilt, nose crunch. Small laugh. "What are you talking about?"  
  
He tapped his head. "Your emotions. You aren't blocking them, luv."  
  
Which she did, promptly.  
  
"Too late. Please talk to me, luv. I hate it when we keep things from each other. You're worried about the meeting, and that's making me seriously consider going straight back home and waiting for you." He squeezed her hand again. "I'm scared, too. Keep thinkin' Harris is gonna hit me."  
  
She said softly, "He won't." She took a deep breath. "Scared. Too many people... Xander, Anya..."  
  
Spike nodded. "Yeah. I know. But Rupert will be there, too. Gotta find some good things."  
  
She fidgeted. "Yeah. It's ok, now. I wish Willow could come, but she's got therapy."  
  
"I'm really proud of her," Spike said, taking her hand and beginning to walk again. "Red has guts. Not many people who have killed with magic, or any other way, ever fully recover. The nightmares alone...."  
  
She shuddered, nodded. "We'll get her through this. If we have to drag her kicking and screaming, we'll get her through this."  
  
Spike glanced at her. "It's not up to us, luv. Will has to do it on her own, or it won't work. Like when I went to get a soul. I would never had gotten it if someone pushed me into it, but once I wanted it bad enough, I stopped at nothing to get it. See?"  
  
She looked at him, slightly hurt. "She's our *friend*, Spike... how can we not push her?"  
  
"Encouragement is one thing, pushing is another. If your mum tried to push you into... say... getting your ears pierced, even if you wanted to, would it make you want to more, or less?"  
  
She saw his point and it irked her. "Less," she mumbled.  
  
"See now?"  
  
She gave a reluctant head nod.  
  
He chuckled. "Good." Paused, considered where they were. Just outside the Bronze, almost in the side alley. "Hey! Look where we are. This is where we first met, luv."  
  
She laughed, rolled her eyes. "What good memories... 'What happens on Saturday?'" she mocked herself. "'I kill you.'"  
  
He chuckled. "And I couldn't wait, either. Waaay to excited about my third Slayer."  
  
She gave a snort. "I so kicked your ass."  
  
"You mean your mum did," he said with a quick poke to her ribs.  
  
She laughed, "Yeah... she saved me a trip, that's all..."  
  
"A trip?" Poked her again.  
  
"Yeah... ya know, swinging arm down in a dust-causing motion?"  
  
He snorted, started walking again. "Tell me another one, Slayer."  
  
"Hey!" she took a few quick steps to catch up with him. "Whatever. I could have had you."  
  
"Uh-huh. Yeah. Right." Another snort.  
  
She poked at his side. "I could have! Well, maybe the second time you came back."  
  
He snort/giggled. "No way. That was a bad day, and doesn't count."  
  
"It totally does! You were all drunk and sloppy... easy stake."  
  
Poked her back. "So why didn't you, Ms. Big Scary Slayer."  
  
"It would've been bad for my reputation to stake a MASTER vampire in the midst of a drunken crisis. And it was fun to watch."  
  
Stared at her, caught between conflicting feelings that said "Pin her to the wall and tickle her brains out" and "Pin her to the wall and shag her brains out." He picked the first option, pouncing her, fingers finding ribs quickly.  
  
She squirmed against the brick, her own hands finding his ribs. Leaned forward, caught his earlobe in her teeth. "Should have went for shagging," she whispered roughly.  
  
Spike's eyes crossed, and he pulled back, scratching at his ribs. "You heard that?"  
  
She walked away, scot-free. "Yup. Cloak your thoughts better."  
  
He growl/chuckled. "You too. I had an idea earlier, that should reduce the tickling problems that we've, or rather, *I've* been having." He trotted to catch up to her.  
  
She tossed over her shoulder, "Oh?"  
  
"A three strikes rule..", he began, catching up to her. "I get to bother you, Rupert, or whoever two times with no consequences. Third time I get it. Same goes for you and Bit."  
  
"Wait... you can irritate us twice with no consequences?"  
  
"Yep. And you can do the same for me. But there is something to make up for it, and I'm hesitant to say it."  
  
Her eyes lit up. "What?"  
  
He groaned, defeated. "No time limit, and feathers are allowed."  
  
She grinned, deviously. "Deal... but to makes this fair. Remember when I said there were two spots I was ticklish, but only showed you one?"  
  
He grinned. "Yeah?"  
  
She grabbed his hand, ran it up her ribcage, till he hit the rib below the swell of her breast. "There." She shoved his hand down. "We're gonna be late."  
  
He grinned. "Can hardly wait for you to annoy me for the third time, luv."  
  
She gasped. "That is SO not included in the free-tickle. Besides, it's not that ticklish. It's not!"  
  
"Uh-huh. Yeah. What ever you say, luv..." He chuckled. "Just wanted to scare you, luv. I'm kidding. You haven't even gotten strike one, yet..."  
  
She gave a glare, glad the Magic Box was near ahead.  
  
Spike took her hand again, began rubbing his thumb in small circles on the back, trying to apologize for his overly playfulness. They continued to walk toward the magic shop.  
  
She gave him a small smile, slightly tingling at his thumb. As the sign neared, her thoughts were more and more blocked, inward, guarded. Her hand started to slip from his as she reached for the door.  
  
He sighed. He should have expected this. Old habits die hard...  
  
Straight fear across her features as she pulled the door open. She let her hand slide to the tips of his fingers, then let go, and walked in the door. "I hear it's a fun party tonight," she announced cheerfully. "All the dusty books and pizza..."  
  
"Bloody hurrah...", Spike muttered, following her in. He stayed behind her, peaking over her head, relaxed to see that Xander wasn't there yet. Only Giles and Anya so far. Dawn wasn't back from her.... date.... yet.  
  
Buffy gave another cheerful smile and pulled up a chair, after giving Giles a half-hug. "What're we researching, Research Man?"  
  
'Da da da da da da da da, Research Man!!', Spike thought, doing a good impression of the Batman theme song. He sat across from Giles.  
  
Buffy gave a quiet smirk, hearing only the 'da da da da da da da da...'  
  
Giles looked at them. "Actually, nothing at the moment. It's been a quiet month. Thanks to the vampire flu. And please stop communicating telepathically. It's quite annoying."  
  
Spike grinned. "I guess he's got one strike on both of us, eh, Slayer?"  
  
Giles looked at Buffy. "What?"  
  
She gave a quick glance at Anya, pouring over a Cosmo. "Nothing. Nothing much. And we weren't-" She sighed. "What about the ugly green thing with three horns?"  
  
"Oh that." He pointed at a picture in the book. "A strange demon that actually feeds off of laughter. Never seen anything like it. It's really quite harmless. Although you're right. It is ugly."  
  
She frowned. "And the- um.... the... grey one with the... thing... on his... um... leg?"  
  
Spike leaned back, closing his eyes. "Wake me up when the fun starts."  
  
She gave a soft frown at the start of an attitude. "Well, it had two eyes..."  
  
Giles chuckled. "It's really not that important, Buffy. I think I know what it is. This town seems to be giving you a vacation. I'd take it, if I were you. Play with Spike."  
  
Spike cracked an eye.  
  
Buffy was going to hyperventilate silently. Anya's head looked up from her magazine. "What're we doing with Spike?"  
  
"Research," Buffy said firmly. "Spike is going to play nice, and research."  
  
A slightly disappointed look crossed her face. "Well, we don't even ever PRETEND to start till Xander GETS here with the pizza..." Her eyes gave a small glint. Late. He was always late.  
  
Spike snorted, closed his eye again. "I don't wanna research. I want to take a nap."  
  
Giles chuckled. "Like a petulant five year old."  
  
Buffy was gonna tear her hair out. 'What is your problem? We haven't even been here five minutes and- nevermind.' She snapped the door down to her mind.  
  
Anya surveyed the scene with interest. More interest than the sex- section of Cosmo.  
  
He looked at her. 'Sorry, luv. I was trying to be cute.' He picked up a book, opened it. 'Look. I'm researching. Uh, hang on...' He reached into his pocket, got his glasses, looked around sheepishly, slipped them on, and looked at the book again. 'That's better.'  
  
She gave a reluctant smile, and a small eyeroll. Nerves were gonna kill her. "So.. um... what are we researching then?"  
  
Giles shrugged. "Looking for your grey thing, I guess. Like I said. Not much going on." He glanced at Spike, noticing the glasses. Looked at Buffy questioningly.  
  
She shrugged. "Mind thing?"  
  
"Ah."  
  
Spike glanced up. "What?"  
  
She pointed at his eyes. "Glasses."  
  
Anya was now totally disinterested. And hungry. "Where is he?" She demanded of Giles. "I want food."  
  
At that moment, the door opened, and Xander came in, carrying three pizza boxes, two containers of cheese sticks, and a HUGE bucket of hot wings. Spike wasn't the only one who liked them, after all. "Food's here!"  
  
Buffy grinned, got up to help Xander with the boxes. "Hey, Food Guy." She gave him a goofy smile. "How ya doing?"  
  
"Better now that I'm out of that crazy construction site. I nearly had a beam dropped on my head today." He paused, waiting for the inevitable insult from Spike, but there wasn't one. Gave a mental shrug. "And then! I had to wait for the food for like, 45 minutes! I think they had to raise the chickens from eggs, and fly the ingredients in from Italy!"  
  
Spike's eyes locked on the hot wings, and he nearly dropped his book.  
  
She laughed and opened the pizza box, inhaled, then said appreciatively, "Mmm... we love you for it."  
  
Anya simply reached over and grabbed a slice. Took quite a bite. "Ooogh! Got!!!" She hung her mouth open, fanning at it with her hand. Burned tongue translation, "Oooh! Hot!"  
  
Xander quickly held a glass of water out for her. "You okay, An?" Concern showed in his eyes, but he knew she hated him. He deserved it.  
  
She took the glass, and a large gulp, her eyes softening as she looked at him. She dragged in a large breath of cooled air. "Thanks."  
  
Shy grin. "You're welcome."  
  
Buffy hid a very happy happy dance, instead pulling a slice out of the box, taking a small bite out of it.  
  
Spike smiled for an instant. It was a start. He ate a hot wing, and picked up his book again.  
  
"So," Buffy said around a mouthful. "We're looking for... a gray thing- ee, with a... pointy thing-ee on it's leg. Bad breath, ugly, gurgled."  
  
Xander grinned. "Buffy, I thought I told you that Derrik looks like that all the time."  
  
Spike coughed to hide a chuckle.  
  
Buffy grinned, shook a finger at Xander. "Stop talking about your crew like that... it's not nice."  
  
"I don't have to be nice. And he's my boss." He ate a slice of pizza.  
  
Spike coughed again.  
  
"Problem, Dead-boy Junior?"  
  
Half growl, ate another hot wing.  
  
An unpleasant tingle ran down her spine. "So... I've got this... um.. thick, boring book, I'm not sure is in English. What's everybody else got?"  
  
"Esherch in ambiric..", Spike muttered. English translation? "Research in vampiric."  
  
"I'm with you, Buffy," Xander said. "Thick, boring, Swedish. I think."  
  
Giles just chuckled.  
  
She smiled at her friend. "Yeah.. Boring. Anya?"  
  
She let her volume slide down to smile sheepishly at her revealed Cosmo.  
  
Giles wagged a finger at the vengeance demon. "Research, Anya."  
  
She pouted. "It's so boring. And the demon can't be that bad, Buffy would have killed it."  
  
Buffy looked at Giles in defense. "It- it was big. Really big."  
  
She's right, Rupert. Let's do something fun for a change," Spike said, putting down his book. Causing Xander to see his glasses for the first time.  
  
"Glasses?!", he laughed. "You wear glasses? And I suppose you write poetry, and pick flowers, and... cry at movies, and... other geeky things I can't think of at the moment." Xander dissolved into giggles.  
  
Spike growled low, his eyes flashing yellow. He started to get up, snarling loudly. "Watch it, Harris..."  
  
Buffy had no clue what to do. Help one, piss off the other. Help the other, piss off the one.  
  
"Or what, Soul boy? Gonna hit me, and be all, 'Oh, I'm so sorry!', crying about it later?"  
  
"Guys," she began weakly, scarcely heard over the growling.  
  
Spike stood shaking with rage. "Last warning, Whelp. And I won't regret it if I DO hit you."  
  
Xander snorted and picked up his book.  
  
Spike, still vamped, sat down. As long as Xander didn't push him, it would be fine.  
  
"William the Bloody Awful Poet..", Xander muttered.  
  
Spike roared and nearly jumped across the table at Xander, stopped only by Giles grabbing the back of his shirt.  
  
Buffy had Xander by his, yanking back. "Stop it!"  
  
Giles held Spike still, holding him in a half hug and rubbing the agitated vampire's back in a way that was supposed to calm them down, in theory at least. But it seemed to be working. Spike's growl faded to a low rumble, and he relaxed under the Watcher's ministrations. He was still vamped, though, and glaring at Xander with yellow eyes.  
  
Xander wasn't so cooperative. Buffy was still pulling at him. "Xander, knock it off."  
  
"Lemme go, Buff!"  
  
She had a hand planted on his chest. "Do you really want me to?? Do you really want me to let one of my best friends go to fight a VERY pissed off guy, who despite all else, is STILL a vampire, being WAY stronger than you?"  
  
"I'm not going to fight him. I was just teasing. God! Can I help it if Mr. Big Bad is so sensitive?"  
  
Low snarl. Giles started his rubbing again. "Easy, Spike. Easy."  
  
"Stop. It."  
  
Xander snorted. "Fine."  
  
"No. Not fine." She started pulling him behind her, to shield them between rows of books. "Now, what the hell is your problem?"  
  
"What are you talking about? I've always teased Spike. It's what I do."  
  
"That was not teasing, Xander, that was absolutely mean. Now... WHAT is wrong with you?"  
  
He practically growled. "I don't like him. You're too good for him, and he doesn't deserve you and, and..." He started sobbing quietly. He wasn't talking about Buffy at all...  
  
She wrapped her arms around Xander's waist.  
  
He sniffed. "Why?", he asked quietly. "Why him? Of all people, living and dead, why Spike!?"  
  
She said slowly, sadly, "Because he was there, and we weren't."  
  
Xander laid his head on Buffy's shoulder. "How do I... make the hurt stop? She... hates me. Why don't you hate him?"  
  
She petted him softly, running her hand over the hair on the back of his head to his neck, over and over. "You got stop... stop hurting yourself. And she doesn't hate you, Xander... She's hurt, and scared and confused."  
  
"...so am I.."  
  
Her own tears started pooling, but she bit them back. Hard. "We all are. We're all afraid, and hurting." She hugged him. "But we all love eachother, and that's what makes us Scoobies."  
  
"Even Spike? Cause I sure as hell don't love him."  
  
She winced. "And he sure as hell doesn't love you. But he cares, Xander. He's-" She stopped. Not her confession to give, not her solace to beg. "He's a Scooby. And that alone deserves respect."  
  
Xander nodded, and let out a low chuckle as he pulled back. "But *glasses*? And I saw the Scooby keychain, by the way."  
  
She gave a small smile. "He's excited. He likes... being a part. Give him a break." She gave him a stern look. "And I've seen you in a Speedo, Mr. Swim Team. Want me to bring THAT up?"  
  
"Undercover operation," Xander said indignantly. "And no. Please. I'll do anything."  
  
She looped her arm through his. "You can start by sharing the bucket of hot wings with Spike, then at least TRYING to play nice with him. If I need dishes done, I'll give you a call."  
  
Long suffering sigh. "Do I have to? How do you play with a vampire nicely? They're vicious, mean, scary, things!"  
  
She gave him a look. "Who started all this? I'm not saying go out and apologize on bended knee. I'm saying, don't talk until you can say something civil, or addressed to the group as a whole. And he's not... well, he can be... but not to us."  
  
"I know, I know. But you still didn't answer my question. How do you play with a vampire?"  
  
She suppressed a grin. "I dunno... talk about TV, or manly things... cars. Music...?"  
  
He shook his head. "Nuh uh on all counts. TV: We don't watch the same programs. Manly things? Spike's not interested in discussing construction. Cars: He's got a beat up DeSoto, and a motorcycle, while I'm taking the bus to work. Out of my league. And music? I wouldn't even know where to start. Besides, Spike doesn't strike me as the playful type."  
  
She was careful of her words. "He can be. Just... joke with him. Neutral topic...Have you met the guy Dawn's been dating?" 'Gold,' she thought.  
  
Xander snorted. "You mean 'Andrew'? I don't like him. Wimpy little guy."  
  
"Mmm... You and Spike could talk about him." She nodded. Apologized to Dawn in her head. "Dawn wore lip gloss AND eyeshadow."  
  
Xander bristled. "I'm talking to her when she gets back." He tugged Buffy's arm. "Let's go. The other's are probably dying of boredom without us."  
  
She laughed as Xander trooped into the room with her trailing behind. She checked Spike's face for signs of... anything.  
  
He was relaxed, reading over Giles' shoulder while eating a hot wing. Looked up. His eyes darkened at the sight of Xander, then looked confused when he waved at him. He looked at Buffy.  
  
She made a hopeful face, biting her bottom lip.  
  
Spike grinned. 'Don't bite too hard, luv. Or I'll have to come stop the bleeding for you.'  
  
Her jaw popped open, her lip freed. Looked quickly around, almost questioning if the other's could hear. She took her seat by him, leafing through the boring book again. Her eyes and Anya's met over the table. Anya made a hopeful face at the other woman. Buffy gave a small grin and nod.  
  
Xander cleared his throat. "So, Spike...", he began.  
  
Spike looked up, suspicion and anger flashing his eyes.  
  
Xander swallowed. "Uh, have you met Dawns new 'boyfriend'?"  
  
Spike growled, and Xander tensed, until the vampire spoke. "Bleedin' wanker, the boy is."  
  
Xander grinned and nodded. "Tell me about it..."  
  
They continued this conversation, all traces of anger at each other leaving their voices and postures.  
  
Buffy's own tension left her back, and her empty hand crept off the table to dangle between them. She reached over, lightly touched the tips of his fingers with hers.  
  
Still talking to Xander, Spike entwined their hands, rubbing his thumb lightly on her palm.  
  
She gripped his hand gently. A quiet, 'Thank you,' echoed through her head as she and Giles chatted about how the demon was gurgling.  
  
'You're welcome, luv,' Spike answered, laughing at something that Xander had said. He began to gently scrape his nails over her palm, playfully.  
  
Her stomach clenched, and she lost her train of thought. "It was kinda- um... ya know, just...." she cast around in her mind for a word. Any word. "Gurgly?"  
  
Giles chuckled, inclining his head toward Spike, asking without speaking about it if there was a problem.  
  
Spike's other hand went under the table, holding Buffy's arm still while he lightly ran his fingers up her arm.  
  
She smiled. "He was um... like he had a lot of spit in his mouth. He could have still been talking- uh. English."  
  
"Ah. That narrows the list," Giles said, looking down at his book.  
  
Spike pinned her hand between his knees, and began very lightly tickling the inside of her elbow.  
  
She jerked in her seat slightly.  
  
Spike grinned. 'Found a button.' He increased the tickling, determined to make her laugh out loud. Let's see her explain that.  
  
She snorted out a giggle, looking totally mortified.  
  
Giles guessed what was happening and chuckled.  
  
Spike slid his other hand lightly across her ribs.  
  
Anya looked at her, slightly distressed that Buffy was snorting, while she was trying to not look like she was looking at Xander.  
  
Buffy gave another giggle.  
  
Xander glanced at her. "Something wrong?"  
  
Spike's wandering fingers found her armpit. Began to wiggle.  
  
She laughed. "Oh.... uhhhh... this... this demon... he... looks all snotty. And- he speaks Fjorle... ya know, like Giles was when he was all grrr and demon-ee, and I thought it was realllllly really funny"  
  
Giles chuckled and shook his head again.  
  
Spike dropped his hand for a moment, waited for Buffy to relax, then went for her belly button. This was fun!  
  
She laughed hard.  
  
Xander looked at her. "No demon's that funny."  
  
Spike continued his assault.  
  
She stood. "I think it's my hours.... ya know, DoubleMeat's a pain... I've been up so early, and this..." She gave a huge, mega-watt, 'I'm just fine' Buffy smile. "I'm getting kinda punchy. I think it's bedtime." She itched at her bellybutton.  
  
Spike chuckled. "Need help?" He reached for her again. Knowing he was going to pay for this when they got home. He had a feeling he'd just used up all three strikes.  
  
She swatted at his hands. "Nope. Just fine. Gotta get home. Umm.. Dawn and Andrew were supposed to be back at 10, and it's 11 now, so... Don't wanna find them on the couch bit-necking. Don't wanna find them on the couch necking."  
  
Spike chuckled again and stood. "I'm coming with. You might need help if 'Andrew' turns nasty."  
  
Xander chuckled. "Bite him for me."  
  
Spike laughed. "Maybe. But I hate it when I get food poisoning."  
  
Xander and Giles chuckled.  
  
Anya realized belatedly she hadn't been paying attention. Laughed loudly.  
  
Spike headed for the door, held it for Buffy. "After you, luv."  
  
She gave a quick wave, then ducked out the door. "Bye!"  
  
Spike trotted after her. "Wait up, luv." He let the door close behind him.  
  
She let him catch up, then hit him in the shoulder.  
  
"Ow." He grinned.  
  
"Very cute, tickle boy. Now they think I'm psycho."  
  
He chuckled. "Naw. Rupert knew what was going on. And you could have told them."  
  
She arched her eyebrow. "Oh? That you were pawing me under the table? Because that would have improved relations across the board."  
  
"That I was playing with you. Not 'pawing', which makes me sound like a cat."  
  
Her eyebrow never lowered. "Cuz you aren't?"  
  
"I'm not a cat!"  
  
She sighed, stopped walking and grabbed his hand, started stroking his palm.  
  
His eyes closed almost immediately, and he purred.  
  
She stopped as soon as the purr started in earnest. Started to scratch his back.  
  
He arched against her hand, knees feeling weak. Purring got louder.  
  
She stopped her hands, shoved them in her pockets and waited for his eyes to open.  
  
He looked at her sheepishly. "Doesn't prove anything."  
  
She said dryly, continuing on her way, "Just come running when I rattle the food bag."  
  
He trotted to catch up to her again. "So, no payback for what I did back there?"  
  
She just looked at him. "You broke your own rules."  
  
"Did I?"  
  
"You tickled without three strikes."  
  
He lowered his head. "Yeah. Unless you count the 'kissless week' which, I think, had three strikes in it. Besides. I've used up all three tonight, anyway."  
  
Buffy looked over her shoulder. "I dunno what I'm gonna do with you. And the kissless week? Not even fair. You need real reasons that I irritated you."  
  
"Can I count back a couple of years? And I've already surrendered my strikes. That should even it out."  
  
She gave a snort. "No! You didn't make the rules till tonight. Nothing but tonight counts."  
  
"Ok. I give. You win. How can I make it up to you?" He caught up to her. By then, they were outside her house. A quick whiff told the vampire that Dawn was already home, and in bed, and that her date had left some time before.  
  
She shrugged. "How long have you been back?"  
  
"About three months, why?"  
  
She shrugged. "Just wondered, CZ, ya know, we don't even have one date on record."  
  
"Movie night wasn't a date? And, we were holding hands tonight. That seems a 'date' thing."  
  
She gave another mega-watt smile. "You're right. Date-age."  
  
He grinned. "I'm gonna get it when we get inside, aren't I?"  
  
She shook her head. "No. I'm gonna go inside and go to bed." Another too-big smile. "I'll talk to you later, yeah?"  
  
He looked kind of disappointed. "Oh. I.. I can't stay here?"  
  
She nodded. "Sure. If you want to, absolutely."  
  
He cocked his head. "You're not planning something, are you, luv?"  
  
Shook her head. Thanked whoever cared that she had mastered a mental block. "Nope. I'm just... Tired. Ready for jamma's and bed."  
  
He grinned. "Ok." Followed her in the door and immediately flopped on the couch. "Night, luv."  
  
She gave a small grin. "Night." In her room, she closed the door carefully. Her very bright smile faded, and a few tears slipped. Scooby- age was date-age. So... how many dates had she been on with Xander, and Giles, and Willow, and Anya? She swiped at her eyes quickly, and went to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.  
  
She wasn't as good at the mental block thing as she thought. Spike knocked on the bathroom door.  
  
She let the water run as she scrubbed a cloth across her face. "Just a minute," she said quietly.  
  
"I just wanted to ask you somethin', luv."  
  
She clenched her teeth, and closed her eyes tightly. "Hmm?" Bottom lip firmly in place between lips.  
  
"Tomorrow night... uh, would you... um.. that is, like to... Uh..." He stopped annoyed at the old William that seemed to be making his presence known more and more these days.  
  
She was tired and wanted a good cry. Took a big silent breath, wondered if she should open the door. "What?" It came out more weary than she would have liked.  
  
"...go to dinner? Or a movie? Or just drive around, or somethin'?", he said quietly, extremely embarrassed that he hadn't asked sooner.  
  
Her eyes flooded again. Blinked hard. Calm. Calm. "Um... sure... if... if you want to."  
  
He caught the rush of emotion. "Luv, what's wrong? I thought.. I thought you wanted to go on a date..."  
  
She scrubbed the washcloth across her eyes. "I do." Glared at her reflection in the mirror. Stop that. Stop the flooding.  
  
"...then why were you crying?"  
  
She smacked the cloth down on the sink and sighed. "I don't know. I feel like it. I feel like I deserve a good cry. And I'm not good at them, and I don't know how to do them..."  
  
Low, embarrassed chuckle. "Learn from me, then." He slowly opened the door, looked at her.  
  
She ducked her head when he came in. Her throat was closing. She wasn't used to this kind of release. Hers was usually bloody and violent. Not passive.  
  
He cocked his head. "If you need to cry, just let it out. If you need to beat on something, I'm right here. Whatever you need, I'll be it. Or at least try." Mental snort. When did he start speaking in quasi poetry?  
  
The first shuddering sob fell out.  
  
He moved to her, then stopped, waiting for her to motion that she needed him. "S'ok, luv. Let it out."  
  
She made a helpless motion with her hands. "It's so *hard*," she ground out between her wretching, embarrassing sobs. "I can't... balance everything."  
  
He wrapped his arms around her. "I know, it's okay. Just let it go, luv. You don't have to balance everything. I'm here, and the others want to help. Just let us."  
  
She shook her head against his chest. "No it's not... I can't... I can't be everyone's buffer... I can't balance being with you, and... and not hurting Xander. And I can't stand Xander hurting. And... Willow. I wanna... I wanna shake her till she gets better. I can't- I can't figure us out."  
  
Spike rubbed comforting circles on her back. "Shhh. I know. Neither can I. But you know what? I don't think you have to buffer between Xander and I anymore."  
  
She gave a very undignified sniff and looked up at him. "Xander?"  
  
"Yeah. Xander."  
  
She suddenly wanted to shake Spike, too. "How does not being able to figure us out not drive you crazy?"  
  
"It does! You people are some of the weirdest people I've ever met! My own post turning family excluded, of course."  
  
She sniffed again, hit his chest. "I know! How messed up can we be??"  
  
He chuckled. "Do you really want me, the evil master vampire who fell in love with a Slayer, got a soul, and is doing his best to fit in with a bunch of humans, to answer that?"  
  
She gave a watery chuckle and shook her head no. "A world of no." She put the heels of her hands to her eyes. "I'm gonna feel hung-over tomorrow."  
  
"Maybe, but you feel better now, don't you?"  
  
She gave a small nod. "But my stomach feels all... shaky and tight."  
  
He hugged her tightly. "Mine too. Maybe it's me." He pulled back, holding her shoulders. "Want me to stay with you? Just till you fall asleep?"  
  
Her eyes squarely, embarrassedly on the black cloth covering his chest, she nodded.  
  
He smiled, cupped her chin and made her look at him. "I love you, Buffy Anne Summers, and your little pals, too." A playful snort. "Hell. I'm even starting to like Har- Xander."  
  
She gave a small smile, her stomach loosening imperceptibly. It was still so hard to get out. "I..." God, with puffy eyes, no makeup, and a huge crying fit. Wasn't that just like her? "I love you, too." It was quiet. But it was there.  
  
"I know." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, leading her to bed. "Come on, luv. We don't want to wake Niblet up."  
  
She crawled in bed, waiting till he lost his shoes, and whatever else he needed to to even try to pull up the covers.  
  
Spike sat on the side of the bed. "Mind if I take off my shirt? No innuendo intended."  
  
She shrugged, back to him. "It's fine. We've slept in l-" She stopped. "It's fine."  
  
He smiled, removed his shirt, and laid down beside her. "I'll stay on top of the covers, if you want."  
  
She shook her head slowly. She needed closeness, and to be warm. "If you don't want to..."  
  
He crawled under the covers, cuddling against her. "Actually, I was hoping you'd say that I didn't have to." He nuzzled her for a moment. "This is so much more comfortable, after all."  
  
She squirmed her back against him. There was the warmth she was looking for. "Yeah." A small silence. "Spike?"  
  
"Yeah?", he whispered against the back of her neck.  
  
She pulled the blankets closer around them. "Can you... can you leave tomorrow, and come and pick me up?"  
  
He grinned. "Sure." He snuggled closer, ready to doze off, then he had a thought. "Luv?"  
  
She was almost asleep, her eyes already stinging. "Hmm?"  
  
"I really am going to pay for what I did at the shop, aren't I?", he grinned, knowing the answer. She never missed an opportunity, after all.  
  
Very sleepily, she muttered, "In spades if you don't go to sleep..."  
  
"I'll take that as a yes."  
  
"Mmm.." She snuggled back against him. "Spike?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Slurred, barely hanging onto consciousness, the Slayer said, "Sleep."  
  
Kissed the back of her neck. "Night, luv..."  
  
His 'luv' was already asleep. 


	21. It's All Fun and Games...

Buffy woke slowly, her head fuzzy, and mouth feeling horridly dry. She opened her eyes, hating the gritty sandy feel to them, and looked over her shoulder at the source of it all. Sleeping soundly on his back, no covers, and a grin on his face that would make a mother warn her child off. A slow, dark idea took over her hazy brain. Not only should he be feeling as absolutely terrible as her, but he had ALSO used up his three strikes, and... Her abused eyes widened. Mr. Spike had seen fit to leave his pants on the wayside, with his shirt. Now he slept in nothing but a pair of deep blue silk boxers.  
  
She slipped to the bathroom to wash her face, brush her teeth, comb her hair, and make sure she looked a LOT better than she had felt when she woke up. Walking back into the room, her dark idea had blossomed into a black rose of a plan. She reached into the chest at the foot of her bed, drew out two lengths of rope. Tutted in her head. He really shouldn't be such a bed hog either. Using the rope, she tied his hands together above his head, then to the posts at the side of the headboard. On his feet, she used a dagger to cut the rop in half, tying him spread eagle. She walked slowly, purposefully to the bedstand and retrived two, small, instrumental pieces to this evilness. She tucked them into back of the waistband of her jamma pants. Now all he had to do was wake up. Using two fingers, she skimmed them over the inside of Spike's left thigh.  
  
Spike twitched, and his eyes slowly opened. "Mornin' lu-" He stopped short, feeling the limited movement. He looked up, saw the ropes. A quick tug with each foot confirmed his worst fears. "What the bloody hell? Slayer!"  
  
She smiled slowly. "Mornin', Spike."  
  
"What do you think you're doin'? Let me GO!!"  
  
She sighed. Truly seemed to consider the idea. Shook her head sadly. "I just... Don't think so. Did you sleep well?" Walked a slow circle around the bed to inspect her handiwork.  
  
Tugging experimentally at his restraints, the vampire replied, "Yeah. Till about a minute ago." Nope. Too strong. This Slayer knew what she was doing. He growled low. "Are you mad at me or something? What's going on?!"  
  
She smiled beguilingly. "Why would you think that?"  
  
He stared at her. "Because I don't usually wake up tied to a piece of furniture. Where's Dawn, and Willow? Aren't you worried they'll see what you did?"  
  
She sat down at the head of the bed, slowly ran one finger down his cheek. "Willow was so drained after therapy that she spent the night.... And Dawn, well, she had an early study group, which I suspect is a thinly vieled date with Andrew, with books to pretend to read."  
  
He growled, pulled at the ropes again. They weren't painful, and he could pull a long time before they became painful, but that didn't help. It only meant that there was some reason that she didn't want him to move....  
  
She tapped one finger on his nose. "Stop that."  
  
He now wanted to scratch his nose. "You made me itch. Stop what?"  
  
She tapped his nose again. "I'm asking questions. How do you feel?"  
  
He bit back a sneeze. "Ok. The game's interrogation, eh? Sorry. Didn't mean to ask a question." He relaxed a bit. She didn't seem mad. Whatever she had in mind wasn't bad. He hoped.  
  
She stood to stand at the base of the bed, on the floor, between his feet. "Well?" She cocked her head to the side.  
  
"Uh, luv? What're you doin'? I feel fine, cept for the ropes."  
  
She scraped a nail softly, slowly, down his calf. "What did I say?"  
  
He twiched. 'Oh no. God please no...' "Uh, bout what?"  
  
She sighed. "Questions, Spike. What did I say about questions?"  
  
"I don't ask any."  
  
She smiled brightly, patted his knee. "Very good."  
  
He swallowed, froze. Waiting. All he had was questions, so he had to be quiet.  
  
Her eyes kept roving over his body, stopping every once in a while to study a certain spot. The silence held for about five minutes.  
  
Spike started shivering slightly. He knew which spots she seemed to be focusing on. 'God, please....'  
  
"You can ask six questions. Only six." She smiled again. "Go ahead."  
  
He swallowed. Six. Had to think. "Why did you tie me up?"  
  
She gave a tiny smile. "Because I wanted to. Five."  
  
Shivered again. "Uh, what are you going to do to me?"  
  
She sighed, truly considered the question, mulled over the answer in her mind. "Whatever I want to. Four."  
  
This wasn't helping. "Give me a hint?"  
  
Inane smile. "No. Three."  
  
"Does this have anything to do with what I did to you at the shop last night?"  
  
"Some. Two."  
  
"Uh.... Am I going to like this?"  
  
Slow, seductive smile. "If I want you to. One."  
  
"You still love me, right?"  
  
She robbed the Mona Lisa of her smile by way of answer. "All done," she said quietly.  
  
Pained nod. "I'm gonna die....."  
  
"You're already dead."  
  
"I'm gonna dust."  
  
She tutted. "Boring. Now..." She touched a finger to the hem of the leg of his boxers, drew it down to his ankles. "Close your eyes." Considered. "Or would you rather a blindfold?"  
  
"Can I close 'em for now, and get back to you later?"  
  
"Mm." Disinterested, affirmative noise.  
  
He closed his eyes. 'You're gonna tickle me, aren't you?', he said mentally.  
  
Her mind was firmly blocked, not allowing hers out, but she wanted to smirk at his tone. She repeated the action with her finger, scraping it softly from the hem of the boxers to his ankles. "How does that make you feel?"  
  
Squirmed slightly. "Good, mostly. Tickles."  
  
She did the same thing to the other leg, slightly harder, not to the point of pain, but harder than a tickle. "And now?"  
  
Low moaning purr.  
  
She nodded clinically, enjoying her game. She walked to the head of the bed, ran her fingers over his chest, swirling patterns, varying pressure, sometimes nails, or just skin.  
  
Spike squirmed, let out quiet laughs. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.  
  
She leaned down, bit slightly hard on his collarbone.  
  
THAT elicted a moan, and he tugged at his restraints, wanting to touch her.  
  
She pulled back, out of reach. "And that?"  
  
"...good... real good..."  
  
She tapped his nose again. "That's half-assed."  
  
Supressed sneeze. "How about wonderful, bloody arousing. Does that tell you anything?"  
  
She made a slightly dissatisfied noise. Tapped his nose. "Questions."  
  
Sniff. "Sorry..." SNEEZE!!!  
  
She ran her fingers lightly over the spot she had bitten. "Bad."  
  
"Sorry again. I'm not tryin' to be bad, luv. Actually, this has been pretty fun so far."  
  
She ran a hand down his chest, stopping at the elastic waist of the boxers, up to wrap lazily around his neck, her fingers stroking her half- moon claim mark on it. "I wanted... emotions, and nerves... and..." She scraped a nail lazily over it. "Everything."  
  
He moaned, and his closed eyes crossed. "Emotions? Love, fear, a little anger, playfulness, excitement, you get the idea. Nerves? Well, my skin jumping should answer that."  
  
She nipped across his collarbone, licked lightly at it. Gently bit his chin. "Why angry?"  
  
"Being tied up, and not asked first. But that's going quickly."  
  
She let a hand swipe softly at his wrists. "Yeah?"  
  
Grin. "Oh yeah. I'm not minding this at all now."  
  
She was feeling properly bad. She moved to kneel, one leg on either side of his waist. Ran her fingers over him.  
  
He twitched, wanting desparatly to open his eyes. "S-stop that."  
  
She leaned over him, very very close. "Why?"  
  
"Cause it tickled."  
  
"Mmm..." Feeling devious, indeed, she let her breath out to feather across his lips. "What are we gonna do about that?"  
  
Now he wanted to kiss her. "Stop it. That's what I- I'd do."  
  
She walked two fingers up each arm, leaning over him.  
  
He twitched and shivered at the ticklish sensation. "Quit it..."  
  
Throaty, "Mmmm..." Thoughtful, "No."  
  
Quiet moan. Whether it was anticipation, or worry was not clear.  
  
She leaned, her mouth centimeters from his. "Are you worried?"  
  
"A little."  
  
She knew he could feel the warmth of her mouth almost touching his. "Why?"  
  
He swallowed, licked his lips. God, he wanted to kiss her. "I know what happens when you tickle me. And I don't know if I like it. I turn into a giggling mess, and I'm not supposed to giggle."  
  
A slow smile she knew he could feel too. "Who's tickling?"  
  
"Well... no one, but I used up my strikes, and that's what happens when you use up your strikes. But I actually think I'm just going to relax, and try to enjoy whatever happens. Won't be as much torture that way. I think."  
  
Exhaled gently. "You think."  
  
He felt her breath on his lips, debated leaning forward and trying to kiss her, but with his eyes closed, if she pulled away, he'd miss. And that would be embarrassing. "I think. I've never tried it before. I usually squirm like a maniac."  
  
"Yes you do..."  
  
He nodded, wondering if SHE would kiss HIM, since she could aim. "Yeah. And I thought, maybe it'd be fun to hold still. Or not. That might make it worse. Are you just going to talk all day?"  
  
She turned her head, sucked on his earlobe, then drew back and blew cold air on it. "Maybe." Flicked his nose. "Questions."  
  
He sneezed again. "Don't do that. The nose thing, I mean. Didn't really mind the other thing..."  
  
She did it again. "That thing?"  
  
Moan. "Oh, yeeeaaahh."  
  
She was waiting. For one. Just one arch, gasp, croon, to let her know. To let HIM know. His body was hers, as much as he knew hers was his. She drew her fingers down his arms again, harder than a tickle, lighter than a scratch.  
  
He moaned again, and pushed against her, his restraints pulling on the bed frame. "...Buffy..."  
  
She let her fingers play at the hollow between his collarbones. "Yes?"  
  
He let out a series of rumbling chirps, speaking vampiric too fast for her to follow, but she got the gist. He knew. Her's. All her's.  
  
She leaned down again, her lips against his. Spike pushed into the kiss, straining his ropes. He nipped her lower lip playfully. Her body shuddered, and she smiled gently, pulled away and slid off the bed.  
  
He moved around a bit. "Wha... Where you goin'?"  
  
She set a piece of material across his eyes, not tying it, just lay it there. She placed three objects on his chest, untied him quickly, and slipped from the room.  
  
He lay there, unsure if he was supposed to move, wondering about the things on his chest. On his chest were two feathers and piece of paper, written on it, "Just letting you know. Free torture, unlimited time, and here's the feathers." The door clicked quietly behind her. His eyes widened when he saw the objects, and got even biger when he read the note. He hopped up, slipping his jeans on, and followed her scent out the door and down the stairs. "Oh, Buffy! When are Dawn and Red getting home?" No answer. He trots downstairs, sniffing around, then heard the shower running. He tucked the feathers in his pocket, and the note. Then grabbed a post it, scribbled on it, "8:00. Don't forget. I'll pick you up. Spike" Then he darted out the door, making a mad dash for the nearest sewer entrance.  
  
-=======================================================  
  
"DAWN!" Buffy screamed. "If you don't get my camel pants in here in TWO SECONDS, I'll KILL YOU!!!!"  
  
Dawn grumbled, and leaned in Buffy's doorway, tossing her the pants. "You're postal, you know that right??"  
  
Buffy glared at her sister. "You could be helping me, you know?? I mean... it's already 7:30."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Yeah... you've only changed clothes seventeen times!! You still need to get in about six more changes before he gets here!" Dawn pushed Buffy to the bed. Looked at her pitiful sister wearing make-up, hairspray, and underwear. "You're wearing the desert- rose shirt that laces up at the top, and the camel pants. And the turquoise jewelry."  
  
Buffy looked at her sister hopefully. "I am?"  
  
Dawn nodded. "Yes, Buffy. You look great in it. Now. You're gonna smudge dark mauve at the corners of your eyes, put a few braids in your hair here and there, and put on your camel boots, and walk to the door and breathe."  
  
Buffy took a deep breath. "Right."  
  
Dawn nodded. "Right. Now lets get to work."  
  
========================================================================== =======  
  
Spike had been busy all day. He had the DeSoto washed, repainted (which was only finished quickly because he had snarled at the guy in the paint and body shop, also got it for half price) and washed again. He had gone shopping, for the first time in.... He couldn't even remember. He had bought another blue collared shirt, a different shade, a new pair of black slacks, and a vest/jacket that went with it. He was nervous as he pulled up outside the Summers home. He parked, got out, walked to the door, took a deep breath, and knocked. Unlike the last time, this WAS a date. Gulp.  
  
Buffy straightened her shirt one last time in the mirror, lamenting her choice to wear a different flavor lipgloss. Dawn said it went with the outfit more. Cherry blossom. Buffy went down the stairs, and took a deep breath again. Looked at Dawn sitting on the stairs.  
  
Quiet knock. Second time.  
  
And swung open the door. She had that awful huge-eyed stare, she knew it. "Hi." God, was that her voice?? Since when was that her voice??  
  
Dawn smirked at the cuteness of it, holding her silence.  
  
Spike cleared his throat to avoid a similar squeak. Unfortunately, it didn't entirely work. "Hey, luv." Swallowed nervously. Motioned to the car. "Our chairot awaits."  
  
Buffy's hand clutched the olive green purse she had draped over her arm. Gave a shaky smile.  
  
Trying not to snicker, Dawn said pointedly, "Twelve-thirty, Buffy."  
  
Spike looked over Buffy's shoulder at the Key on the stairs. "And what if she's late?"  
  
Her eyes glinted with the power she knew she held. "She's grounded."  
  
Spike chuckled. "Don't worry, Bit. I'll have her back. Time to spare." He gently put a hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Ready?" His hand was shaking, he tried to make it stop. Since when did Big Bads act like love struck teenagers?  
  
Buffy gave her sister a smile. The 'do I look ok,' grin.  
  
Dawn nodded in the affirmative, and watched as they walked out the door.  
  
Spike trotted ahead, and opened the passenger side door of the gleaming DeSoto. "After you, luv."  
  
She slid in, noting the pristine... blackness of the old car. When he got in, she said brightly, "The car... looks... really, really nice."  
  
Gave her a shaky grin, but there was pride in it. "Thanks. Anywhere you wanted to go?" He started the car. The engine purred like new. Reminded himself to mail the half of the payment to the body shop anonymously.  
  
She shrugged. "I dunno. You said eight. It's eight."  
  
He looked panicked. Hadn't thought of a place to take her! 'Damn it, knew I'd forget something. Now she's gonna guess that I've never been on a real.....' Stop the embarrassing thought. But too much had been "said".  
  
Her eyes widened. Never been on a real date. Well, then. How freaky. "Um.... how about the park, or.. a restaurant?"  
  
Swallowed. "You, uh, hungry?"  
  
Her stomach was certainly SOMETHING. And food would halt uneasy silences. "Starving."  
  
Grinned, gunned the engine. "Food it is. Any thing in particular?" 'And this was supposed to be hard? That's the last time I get information from sitcoms.'  
  
"Um... I.. dunno. What're you in the mood for?"  
  
Blank look. "I have no clue." By then they were driving around the neihborhood, and quickly found the highway. "If you see something you want, tell me and we'll stop."  
  
She nodded. The silence was killing her. She switched on the radio. Groaned at the old music, and turned it to a pop station.  
  
Oops. 'Idiot. Don't be quiet. SAY SOMETHING!!!!' "Uh, so. How was your day?" 'Bloody wanker.'  
  
Blush, blush, blush. 'Well, I tied a guy to a- stop!' "Fine. Yours?"  
  
Spike chuckled, and tried to bite it back. "Great."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
'I'm an idiot.' "Uh-huh." He paused, then turned to her. "Why do we have so much to say all the rest of the time, and now I can't even think clearly?"  
  
She sighed. "I have no idea. I mean... I've already had sex with you. The hard part should be over now!"  
  
He laughed, hard. 'God I needed that.' "You're right," he said, still chuckling. "Totally right. But I think that that's the easy part. Actually being in a relationship's the hard part." He chuckled again. "But then again, look at me. Not much experience either way. I kind of envy you, Slayer."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Yes. Envy me. Boink first boyfirend, almost cause apocolypse. Kill boyfriend one, send to hell dimension, deal with fallout. Then! Ooooh... nice boy with pulse. Turns out to be jerk-who-I- hate with a pulse. Then! Secret-army-guy- with pulse! Whooo! I'm too tough! Gotta get sucked off by vampy hoes! Run him off... and then... You. Oh yes... Envy me. Envy the nice bouquet of roses life has tossed me."  
  
Spike tried to curb the chuckling, rather than the car. "But I do, and you don't get why! Peaches, Captain Cardboard, they loved you, no matter how it turned out. Dru, Harmony? They didn't love me. Never did. I didn't want them to, most of the time. Every time I fall in love, it winds up hurting. I didn't want that again. Then I fell for you. Just woke up one day, 'Damn, I'm in love with the Slayer.' Try that one on for size. And you started out proving my theory. But now.... I don't know."  
  
She snorted. "What about me? One day, you're toting a SHOTGUN to my house, and the next day you're all, 'I love you...' Um... schitzo, much?"  
  
"I loved you then! That's why I DIDN'T shoot you. And why I tried to help. And why I went home and cried in my blood. Thankfully, Harm went out before I got back. I'd have hated to explain that."  
  
She laughed. "Oh... the horror. Harmony."  
  
He chuckled. "It wouldn't be her knowing that would bother me. It's that she's a bleedin' blabbermouth, and would spread around the word to the rest of the demon community that I cry. Often. Even then. Although I used to be better at hiding it than I am now."  
  
Buffy laughed. "If you'd have told me that.... four years ago, I wouldn't have believed you, and STILL told Xander."  
  
He gave a playful growl. "But you won't now, right? There are certain... things.... that stay just between us, right?" He poked the new spot, the top rib, very gently.  
  
Shiver and half-laugh. "Gotcha."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Right. I meant right." She pointed to her right. "Oooh! There! Stop!"  
  
He pulled off the road and into the parking lot she'd pointed out. "Here? And what did you mean, 'gotcha'? You didn't tell everyone else, right? Rupert's bad enough!"  
  
"No I didn't tell anyone else." She smiled at the old Chinese restaurant they'd pulled into.  
  
He sighed. "Whew. Good." She started to open the door, but he stopped her. Got out, walked around the car, and opened it for her, then extended a hand to help her out.  
  
She was puzzled. This sort of thing did not happen to her. She put a hand on his, like he was helping her stand after a fight.  
  
He gently pulled her up, grinning, and closed and locked the door behind her. Offered her his hand again. "Shall we?"  
  
She took his hand hesitantly. "Yeah."  
  
He smiled. "Don't worry, luv. I won't bite. Unless you ask nicely first." That last part was accompanied by a chuckle.  
  
She blushed lightly.  
  
========================================================================== =========  
  
After dinner......  
  
Buffy grinned and reached for her fortune cookie. "Come on! Read it! Wait!"  
  
Spike shook his head, but picked up his cookie. "What?"  
  
"Do you play between the sheets?"  
  
Spike snorted a barely supressed laugh. "Luv, you should already know this," he said playfully, knowing she didn't mean what it had sounded like.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "No... You read your fortune, then at the end, say, 'between the sheets'. Whose ever's sounds best wins."  
  
He chuckled. "Ok. Who's first?"  
  
"You."  
  
He cracked the cookie open, extracted the paper. Groaned. "This sucks. 'Consider gain and loss, but never be greedy, and everything will be all right.' Between the sheets." He shook his head. "That was bad."  
  
She gave a small laugh. "Ok..." She laughed, hard. "Oh, man... I think I win. 'You will soon be involved in many gatherings, parties, and communications.' Between the sheets."  
  
He laughed. "Oh God! You win." Snorted. "That was too good. Lemme see that!"  
  
She passed him the paper. "See?"  
  
Chuckled again. "Want to keep this? See if it comes true?" He handed it back. "And, are you ready to go? We've still got a couple of hours before curfew."  
  
She grinned. "Sure." She tucked the tiny slip in her purse, stood. "Ready?"  
  
He grinned back. "After you." They headed out to the car, got in, and drove around for a moment. Then Spike pulled into a small parking lot in Oak Ridge Park. "Wanna get out for awhile? Walk around?"  
  
She grinned, moved to open her door. "Yeah. Sounds fun."  
  
He 'tsk'ed. "Have you learned nothing?" He got out, rounded the car, and opened her door again. "I like doing it for you." He helped her out.  
  
She was flustered. "I can open a door."  
  
"I know that," he said with a grin. "Let's just say that chivalry really is dead." He trotted a couple of feet ahead of her. A fit of childlike playfulness was floating up inside him, and he wanted to share it. "Race you to the slide!", he shouted, taking off at full vamp speed.  
  
She was puzzled, but hating losing. "Hey!" she called as she started running. "No fair!"  
  
He laughed, turned around, running backwards. "Too slow, Slayer!"  
  
She passed him. "Oh, really?"  
  
Tripped over a bench in his haste to turn around, falling into the sand under the slide. He spit sand. "Not fair!!" Scrambled to his feet and chased her around the slide.  
  
She ran, then tagged the steps. "Hahahaha! I beat you!"  
  
He grinned, gave a play growl. "New game." He gave a half pounce toward her. "I'm gonna catch you!"  
  
She bounced backwards. "No way!" She took off for the jungle gym.  
  
Spike chased her, knowing he had no hope of catching her unless she wanted him too. So he had an idea. He ducked under one part of the jungle gym, then pounced when she came around again. He grabbed her, tickling her ribs quickly, then released, running off toward the swings. Playing tickle tag. Spike. Was. Playing.  
  
Picking herself up off the sand, she took off after him. Tickle tag, huh? She had never been in a... playful relationship. She flying tackled his legs.  
  
Spike crashed to the ground, but tried to kick her off, to scramble up, laughing all the while.  
  
She climbled up his legs, one hand reaching up to grab at his ribs.  
  
Spike laughed harder when she got his side, trying to grab her hands.  
  
She was laughing, almost as hard as he was.  
  
"S- stop i-it, S-s-slayer!!!", he choked out between laughing fits. They were rolling on the ground now.  
  
"You- started...*snicker* it!"  
  
He reached up, hands and fingers quickly finding ribs, he proceeded to defend himself.  
  
She squealed, curling into the fetal position.  
  
Spike grinned, still laughing, and released her, leaning back against a tree, panting and laughing hard. "Give up?"  
  
She nodded quickly. She sat up, propping herself up on her hands. Blew her hair out of her face. "Well."  
  
He chuckled again. "I'm too tough for you, eh? Good thing *I* didn't figure this out six years ago."  
  
She rolled her eyes, smiled.  
  
He pushed himself up, stretching and brushing the sand off his jacket. He helped her up and began brushing it off her as well.  
  
She thanked God it was dark.  
  
Spike got all the sand he could off of them, and walked over to sit on a swing, slowly rocking back and forth.  
  
Her back still to him she smudged on a tiny amount of the cherry blossom lip gloss, stuffed it in a pocket, then moved to join him on the next swing over.  
  
Without a word, he got up, walked over, got behind her, and lifted the swing off the ground, sending her zooming up when he released.  
  
She gave a small shout, holding on with both hands tightly.  
  
When the swing returned, he pushed it, gently, so as not to overload it's momentum. "Having fun, Slayer?"  
  
She closed her eyes, leaned back and pumped her legs lazily, relishing the breeze on her face. "I forgot how much fun swings are."  
  
He grinned, and returned to his own swing. With a couple of hard pumps of his legs, he was even with her. "Hey, you're right! This is fun!"  
  
She laughed, looked sideways at him.  
  
He twisted sideways, and made the swing spin around in addition to going back and forth. "WWWHhhhooooaaa!"  
  
She snorted, then twisted her own swing, letting it fly back and forth, front and back.  
  
Spike let out something that sounded suspiciously like a squeal. "Hoooww ddooo yyooouuu stttoopp!!??"  
  
"Draaaaaaaaaaaggggg yooooo-oourrrr feeeeeeeeeet...." She demonstrated, sending sand and small rocks flying.  
  
He tried it, and slowed, stopped the spinning, but didn't stop. Then, the next time the swing was as high as it would go forward, he let it catapult him into the nearest tree. He dropped, hanging from the lowest branch by his arms, about three feet off the ground. He hung there, laughing and watching Buffy.  
  
She stood, wobbily, spun around to look for him. She focused on him, but... not really. He was still moving unnaturally. "Hey."  
  
He grinned at her shakyness. "Help. I've fallen up and I can't get down."  
  
She laughed. "Get down."  
  
He chuckled and let go of the branch, dropping to the ground. "That was a good place for a MC Hammer joke, but I couldn't think of it right then." He grinned and walked over to her. "How ya feel, luv?" He hadn't entirely gotten his bout of playfulness out, but he also couldn't think of anything else to do, so he waited for her cue as to what to do next.  
  
She smiled. "Good." She leaned against him, her head by the front of his chest. "This was fun."  
  
He chuckled and purred, his chest rumbling under her head. "Yeah. It was, wasn't it?" He shook his head. "I wonder what got into me just then."  
  
Her smile widened. "Dunno. But it was fun." She turned, her nose at his collarbone. She flicked one button open. "You look nice."  
  
He grinned, ran a hand down her back. "You always look nice. And thanks."  
  
She hid a very pleased grin. Caught a whiff of something, stood on her toes, snuffled at his neck. "Mmm... Is that you?"  
  
"The scent, or the purr, because both are me."  
  
"Scent." She snuffed a couple more times at his neck.  
  
He grinned, kissed the top of her head. "Want to sit on a bench for awhile? We still have time to kill. Not literally, though. Night off."  
  
She nodded.  
  
He lead her over to a bench and sat down with her winding up half on his lap. Kissed her forehead. "So, I gather you've had a good time? And this was a good date?"  
  
She nodded. "Way with the good time and good date. You?"  
  
He nodded, nuzzling her gently. "Yes and yes. And fun, too, once we relaxed."  
  
She nuzzled the side of his neck, almost into his hairline. Sniffed at his hair. "You smell like flowers."  
  
"I do not."  
  
She sniffed again, her nose in his hair. "Yes you do." Then she sniffed at his neck. "But not here."  
  
He sighed. "It's the bloody shampoo. They were out of my normal kind, so I wound up with this. It's embarrassing. I smell like Dawn." He yawned for a moment, then fell silent.  
  
She smiled. "Why with the quiet?"  
  
He chuckled. "Just thinkin'."  
  
"Bout what?"  
  
"You. Me. This relationship. When the hell I got so bleedin' playful. Just stuff."  
  
She nuzzled his neck. "Oh."  
  
He sighed, and returned the carress. "What about you? Got any theories about my sudden attack of the playfulness?"  
  
She shook her head. "No. Not thinking."  
  
He chuckled. "Oh. What're ya doin' then?", he said, playfully shorting every word as far as he could. Had he just woken up like that, or did she do it to him? Whatever the cause, he decided that he liked it.  
  
She nudged him, gave a soft smile. "Feeling happy. It's keeping me busy."  
  
Quiet chuckle. "Me too. I don't think I've ever felt like this before. Relaxed, happy," -chuckle- "itchy. But mostly happy."  
  
"Yeah.. it's... wierd. I feel like I should bottle it to pull out someday, when I forget what it feels like again."  
  
He kissed her forehead. "Hopefully, that day will never come for either of us. I'll be around to help make a new bunch of feelings everyday."  
  
An odd feeling rolled through her, and if she had ever felt it before, she would have been able to identify it as contentment. "Ok."  
  
He purred, nuzzled up against her, holding her close. "*I love you.*"  
  
Her eyes drifted shut and a smile curved her lips. It made her warm to hear him say that. "I love you, too." It always sounded better when he said it... more smoothly. More grace, more intensity evident in his voice.  
  
As always happened when she said that, he sighed, and every muscle not required to hold them up relaxed. Nuzzled her hair, snuffling his nose around in it semiplayfully.  
  
She gave a sighing laugh, shook her hair in his face.  
  
A playful "grrrr", and returned to his snuffling, enjoying her scent. Smell was very important to vampires, and he was making sure that he had every scent, no matter how slight, committed to memory. He continued to purr, muttering endearments and little bits of poetry in vampiric.  
  
A small shiver ran through her, the translations coming in pieces, some missing, some there. She moved back closer against his chest.  
  
He slowed his purring, sensing that she wasn't getting all of it, repeated the last poem...  
  
You are...  
  
My life, My love, My passion,  
  
My pain, My sadness, My joy,  
  
My past, My future, My soul,  
  
My enemy, My friend, My heart,  
  
My only, My Slayer, My Buffy,  
  
Always, Forever, Of love  
  
She turned in his lap, her arms around him. She whispered softly in his ear, "You're beautiful." She pulled back a bit, let him see her weakness, the wetness in her eyes. "Your heart, your mind, your soul, your poems..." One hand fell to where his heart should have beat. "They're so beautfiul." She feathered a kiss across his cheek. "Thank you."  
  
Spike's own tears filled his eyes to overflowing. "God... Luv... Buffy.. that's- that's the nicest thing... anyone... has ever said to me..", he choked out around happy sobs.  
  
She nuzzled his cheek, kissing the salt from them.  
  
He wiped at his eyes. "So bleedin' embarrassing..." 'Just take a compliment once, just once! Without turnin' into a crybaby!', he thought, slightly annoyed at himself.  
  
"Don't worry," she said as she kissed the tears from one cheek, turning his face to start on the next. "We'll just have to keep giving them till you get used to them."  
  
He grinned sheepishly, feeling alternately happy, bouncy, playful, all variations on a theme. He chuckled softly, hugging the Slayer tightly. "God, I love you, Buffy Anne Summers."  
  
She smiled, the knowledge really, for the first time, filling her. "I know," she said in soft wonder.  
  
He looked at her. "What is it?"  
  
She shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I love you, too."  
  
He grinned, a pleasureable shiver running through him at her words. He nuzzled her again, then glanced at his watch. 12:02. "Uh-oh. If we don't want Nibblet to ground you, we'd better get you home."  
  
She laughed and stood. "Yeah... I guess so."  
  
He stood up, and scooped her right off her feet. "Who said you had to walk to the car?", he laughed, carrying her to the car, playfully poking at her ribs the whole way.  
  
She squirmed, kicking her legs the whole time. "Spike!"  
  
He laughed, and plopped her in the passenger seat after opening the door one handed. "There you go, luv. You're free." He chuckled and got in the driver's seat, starting the car. "There's no one around, if you want to get me back while I drive. I'll go slow."  
  
She smiled. "I think I've gotten you back quite enough for one day."  
  
He chuckled. "With almost no tickling. The rule was: Use up three strikes, unmerciful tickle torture. No time limit, and feathers are allowed. It didn't say just mess with me for an hour."  
  
She smiled that slow, woman-only smile. "There was an unmerciful tickle, and torture.. you never said they had to be one and the same."  
  
Another chuckle. "Now it get's specific. Ok? No cheating."  
  
She gave a pious smile. "That was not cheating."  
  
"Was to."  
  
She shrugged. "There was a point."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
She gave a defiant smack of her newly glossed lips. "Yup. And you got it."  
  
He grinned at her. "No one told me the point. So if I got it, it was accidental. What was it?"  
  
She turned to him, serious now. "You used to remind me, all the time, in little ways, big ways, in any way... My body was yours." She gave him a level stare. "I was just letting you know that's a two-way street. Your body is mine, Spike. As much as mine is yours."  
  
He nodded. "*Me in you. You in me.*"  
  
"Always. Forever."  
  
"*Of love.*" That was said in unison. It was a good thing that they happened to be stopped at the moment, because Buffy speaking vampiric was still a little suprising. Spike grinned at her. "Guess I'm rubbing off on you, eh, Slayer?"  
  
Half smile. "When it's important. So. Did you get the point, or do I need handcuffs?"  
  
He chuckled. "Handcuffs and feathers. But I do get it. I was just talking about when I cash in the coupon you gave me."  
  
She arched her brow. "Coupon?"  
  
He pulled the note that he had found on his chest that morning out of a pocket, and waved it at her. "Coupon."  
  
She tried to snatch at it. "That's not a COUPON. It's a... note. Just making sure we were clear."  
  
He pulled it away and stuffed it back in a pocket. "No. It's a coupon. And I'm cashing it in, soon."  
  
She sighed, knowing payback was a bitch.  
  
He grinned. "Don't be suprised if YOU wake up tied to a bed sometime soon, luv." A playful chuckle. "And we're here. I'll walk you to the door." He got out, and once again opened the door and helped her out.  
  
She was getting... slightly used to that. Stepping up to the front door, holding his hand, she said, "Why don't you park in the garage? I'll let you come cuddle tonight?"  
  
Oh God he wanted to say yes, but.... "Actually, luv, I'd love to, but I got to get home. Feed Harm. He thinks I've been ignoring him lately." He kissed her gently. "I love you. I'll see you tomorrow?"  
  
She knew she had been jipped on the kiss. "Love you, too. Yeah. Tomorrow."  
  
He started to turn, then glanced at his watch. "Two minutes..." He pulled her into a passionate kiss.  
  
She restrained her smile and kissed him back, her hands in his hair. He nibbled her lip for a moment, resisting the urge to continue down her neck, but he knew, cat or no cat, he wouldn't make it home AGAIN if he didn't pull back right then. He rested his forehead against hers. "Tomorrow?"  
  
She took in a deep breath, moved her head to sniff at his neck one last time. "Oh yeah."  
  
He nuzzled her one last time, then turned and headed for the car, calling back over his shoulder, "Tell Bit night for me, luv!"  
  
"Kay!" She walked in the door, closed and locked it behind her, then rolled, her back against it. She closed her eyes and gave a huge, laughing sigh.  
  
Dawn, from the exact spot she had been when they left, said, "Good date, huh?"  
  
Buffy laughed and looked at her sister. Ignoring her question she made her way up the stairs past Dawn, and said, "Spike says night."  
  
Dawn trailed her sister. "But a good kiss, yeah?"  
  
Buffy closed the door on her sister's face. "Go to bed. And yes." 


	22. ... Till Someone Gets Hurt...

Buffy grinned at her sister over their only slightly burned pancakes.  
  
"Come oooooon," Dawn whined. "I promise not to *ewww* once."  
  
Buffy smiled, and swallowed at bite of her pancake. "Ok. So, ya know, Spike's like.... how old?"  
  
"Hundred and thirty," Dawn gave her guess-timate.  
  
"Right. And he's so nervous in the car, that he's talking in his head and I can hear him, and it was his first date."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Duh, much? We ALL knew it was your first date."  
  
"No. First date. Ever. Eternity. One hundred thirty years, plus like.... twenty-four real people years?"  
  
Dawn's chin dropped. "No kidding? Oh my god. You've gotta be kidding me."  
  
Buffy shook her head. "So! We decide to go to a Chinese restaurant, and his fortune, TOTALLY sucked."  
  
Dawn laughed. "Between the sheets?"  
  
"Yeah. So, then, he drove us to this park..." She gave a small sigh. "And PUSHED me on the swings."  
  
Dawn made an 'awwww' face.  
  
Buffy made a bemused face. "And he was being so... weird. Like... we played tag, and raced, and stuff..."  
  
Dawn arched her eyebrow. "Be careful. It's a pod person."  
  
Buffy laughed. "And then, we just sat on a bench, talked. And then we came home." Took a bite of her pancake.  
  
"And?"  
  
"And what?" Buffy mumbled around her mouthful.  
  
"The kiss??"  
  
Buffy about choked. "DAWN! I was in by curfew! That's all you need to know."  
  
Her sister rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Is he? A good kisser, I mean. I bet he is, cuz he always does stuff with his tongue while he's talking and-"  
  
"Dawn! He's a good kisser! Be quiet already!"  
  
She leaned over her plate eagerly. "So! When are you gonna go out again??"  
  
Buffy gave her sister a look. "Next month."  
  
Her sister pouted. "Fine. When are you gonna go see him again?"  
  
Buffy gave a secret smile. "I dunno..."  
  
========================================================================== =========  
  
Buffy walked slowly to his crypt, smoothing her white lace shirt. It wasn't too dressy. And neither were the black pants. She hoped. She licked her lips, kind of liking the Cherry-Vanilla flavor, and knocked on the door.  
  
"Come in."  
  
She walked in, came down the ladder to the downstairs. "Hey."  
  
He was half sitting up, half laying on the bed, glasses, leather bound book at his side. He gave her a lopsided grin. "Hey. Didn't expect to see you today, luv. Did you need somethin'?"  
  
She gave a smile, flopped down on the couch to face him. "A reprieve from Dawn?"  
  
He chuckled. "Don't think I can help you with that. I'm a bit scared of her. Well, not really, but she's taken to playin' with me all the time." He set the book aside and put the glasses back in his Tigger case. "Anything else?"  
  
She was confused. Should she be making excuses? "Umm.. no. No. Just came to say hey. But ummm... you're all with the sleepiness.. forgot. Vamp hours. I'll get going then... ya know, run some errands."  
  
He smiled at her, patted the bed next to him. "Can't sleep. I'm hyper for some reason. Stick around. It's great to have someone besides the cat to talk to."  
  
Harmon was sleeping in the ratty green chair and didn't even decide to respond.  
  
She gave the cat a pat as she walked past it. Sat at the foot of the bed.  
  
He smiled again. "So, did you have fun last night?" He switched around so that he was laying on his side, facing her.  
  
She nodded. "Yeah. You?"  
  
"It had to be one of the best nights of my life, luv." He grinned. "In fact, I'm just going to say that it was the best night of my life. So far, anyway."  
  
She smiled. "Good."  
  
Gave her a raised eyebrow. "What do we do now?"  
  
She laughed. "I have no idea."  
  
He grinned. "I have an idea. But you might not want to do it... In fact, never mind.." He reached for his book again.  
  
She frowned, her interested definitely piqued. "What?"  
  
Opened the book, pretended to read. "Naw. You wouldn't want to..."  
  
"Yes I would! What is it?"  
  
"You really think you'd want to?"  
  
"Yes! I wanna know!"  
  
He grinned, pulled a tiny piece of paper out of the book, and handed it to her. "Your handwriting, I believe?"  
  
Oh, God... 'Hook, line, and sinker' echoed through her head. "Yeah..."  
  
"And you did say that you wanted to do it, right?" Half evil, half playful grin.  
  
Resigned to her fate, she nodded.  
  
"Good." He reached into the drawer, putting his glasses and book in, and taking several things out. Rope, handcuffs,.... and the two, white feathers. Sat back and grinned at her, waiting for the reaction.  
  
Unease, fear, and the quelling of the urge to laugh hysterically. So, of course, a blank face was presented to the fore.  
  
Spike smiled. "Want to lie down, luv? I won't tie too tight, I promise. I want you to be able to squirm a little." He got up, picking up his toys, and stood next to the bed.  
  
Fair was fair, she thought, but when the hell did she ever start caring about that? She sighed, crawled to the head of the bed, lay flat on her back stiffly.  
  
He grinned, and set about tying her down. True to his word, he didn't tie her too tight, and the ropes were padded so that they wouldn't cause rope burns. "Relax, luv. This might be fun."  
  
A slew of dirty words raced through her mind. "Ok." Marginal relaxation, but if her spine got any stiffer, it'd shatter.  
  
He sat on the side of the bed, and rubbed her shoulders. "I'm not going to do anything for a minute, luv. I want you to relax. Try to have fun." He massaged her neck gently.  
  
Her body relaxed against her mind's will.  
  
"That's it." He leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss. "Good Slayer." Playfully patted her on the head.  
  
She gave him a look.  
  
He chuckled. "Ok. Mind if I remove your shoes and socks?" He stood up and moved to the foot of the bed where her feet were tied to the posts.  
  
"Oh gee, since I have a say in the matter..."  
  
"Not a bit, but I thought I'd ask anyway." He removed her shoes and socks, then tested her a little, running a finger up the bottom of each foot quickly.  
  
Knees jerked as close to her chest as the ropes would allow. Please, she thought sarcastically, feel free to ignore the total cuteness of my socks, too. Pleeeease.  
  
He "tsk"ed. "Haven't even gotten to the feathers yet."  
  
She wasn't as graceful as him at this, not by half.  
  
He grinned. "One last thing. Mind if I roll your shirt up a ways? Not too far. And you do have a say about this. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."  
  
Smiled benignly. "So kind of you to not want me to be uncomfortable. It's fine."  
  
He smiled. "After all, I don't want to be the only one having fun, now do I?" He rolled her shirt up, so that her stomach, bellybutton, and all but the top rib was exposed. Grinned at her. "Now. Now we can begin." He sat on the side of the bed, contemplating his next move, began absently tracing circles on her ribs and stomach.  
  
Her skin jumped, but her focus remained inward. Even breathing, slightly raised heartbeat. All routes of escape would require a LOT of strength and energy, and violence. Her mental lightbulb went off. Or distraction. Keep that in mind, Buffy, she warned herself. If you have to.  
  
He took a feather, considered it, and then ran it up her ribs, continuing his circling with the other hand, near her bellybutton. 'Let's see her ignore this.'  
  
Her hips jumped and her eyes snapped from the haze they had been in.  
  
"Gotcha." He stuck one feather into her bellybutton, wiggling it unmercifully, and continued stroking the other up and down her ribs, pausing to play with the still concealed top rib, sticking the feather under her rolled up shirt.  
  
Her mind went blank with relief. A tickle game. Thank God... She laughed.  
  
He continued wiggling the feathers. This wasn't all he had in mind, but it was a good start, and he loved hearing her laugh like that. He brought the other feather up and began on the rib on the other side. 'She's going to regret that she ever showed me that,' he thought with a chuckle.  
  
She squirmed as much as her bonds allowed, laughing without reserve again.  
  
Spike loved watching her like this. "Do you want me to stop, luv?", he ask playfully, both feathers now going up and down her ribs, crossing over at her belly button, and returning to the ribs.  
  
She nodded helplessly. "Yes!"  
  
To her superset, he stopped. Then walked to the foot of the bed, and knelt on the floor between her feet. "Hmm. What to do now?" He twirled the feathers, looking at them, then at her feet, then up at her. "What do you think I should do?"  
  
She said, with great hope, "Untie me?"  
  
Evil laugh. "Uh-uh." He started stroking the feathers up and down the soles of her feet, wiggling them in the arches, then sliding them in and out between her toes. "This is so much more fun, anyway."  
  
Her body strained against the ropes. And the part of her that would always, no matter what, remain the Slayer, was screaming for attention. For care, for thought.  
  
Spike continued playing with her feet, then crawled back up her body, sitting on her knees, and started anew on her ribs and stomach. He drew little patterns with the feathers, even writing in script a little with the tips of them across her belly and sides.  
  
Her stomach jumped as her mind tried to plan. She laughed.  
  
Spike was having fun. Every new burst of laughter made him just want to play more. He took the quill end of the feather, and began to lightly write on her skin, starting at the rolled up shirt, and working his way down. Writing ticklish poetry that only he could see.  
  
Her stomach muscles had officially been worked out for the day. "Sp- pike."  
  
"Uh-huh?"  
  
"What are you d-doing?" Her hips were squirming to the left and right.  
  
"Writing."  
  
"What?"  
  
He smiled. "The poem I told you last night. You liked it so much, I thought I'd help myself remember it."  
  
"Wh-why am I t-tied up?" she stuttered out between laughs.  
  
"So you don't squirm as much." He "tsk"ed. "You made me forget my place. Have to start over."  
  
She shook her head. "Why period?"  
  
He stopped for a moment, looked at her. "Because I want to." Started up again, writing on the ribs this time.  
  
She closed her eyes. Winced. 'Payback's a bitch...'  
  
Chuckle. "Yep." He straddled her hips, holding her down a little better. "Now, quit squirming so much. You don't want me to start over again, do you?"  
  
She resigned herself to her fate. Again. "No."  
  
He grinned, and continued writing down her ribs. No longer writing poetry, but writing everything that he loved about her, playing being one of them. He wondered if she could tell what he was doing. Take no chances. While he wrote on the ribs with one feather, he began twisting the other one in her bellybutton again.  
  
She was doing her best to not squirm. She hitched up on the bed, her feet now strained, but giving her enough room to wrap the rope around her palms, giving her something to squeeze.  
  
He chuckled. "How's it feel?", he asked, throwing one of her own questions back at her.  
  
Tiny moan.  
  
"That was half-assed. I want emotions, nerves, everything..." He couldn't help laughing a little as he threw her words back at her. Payback was INDEED a bitch.  
  
She gave a small pant. "Aroused, scared, scared. Mad...confused."  
  
"Why are you scared?"  
  
She gave the ropes at her wrists a deliberate tug. They weren't going anywhere anytime soon.  
  
"Well? Why are you scared?"  
  
"Because being tied to ANYTHING has never led to good memories with me." She arched and tugged again. Hm.. A little give. But not enough.  
  
He sat back, considered. "If I untie you, will you hold still?" He really wanted her to have fun too.  
  
She shook her head. "Probably not." She sighed, knowing some part of this was a trust deal. Something she was NOT good at. "It's ok."  
  
"You sure? I can even stop now, if you want me to." He looked at her, wanting to know if she wanted him to continue. "Or, I could loosen the ropes if you want. Give you more room, if that's what's bothering you."  
  
She considered for a few long, silent moments. He needed this. Licked her lips. "I'm sure."  
  
He grinned, leaned over and kissed her. "Are you enjoying this at all?", he asked, stroking her stomach with a feather.  
  
Her stomach jumped. "Yeah?"  
  
"Was that a question, or a statement?" Brought the other feather into play on her ribs. The short break had left her already sensitized skin in a state of hyperactivity, making the tickling sensation that much worse.  
  
She squirmed, laughed and rolled her hips.  
  
"Any thing you want me to do, luv?", he said with a grin, enjoying her reaction. Knowing personally how much worse tickling got after a short break, he started on both sides at once. "Any requests?"  
  
A pitiful non-sensical noise escaped her lips.  
  
He actually giggled without meaning to. He was loving this. He paused, leaned forward. "What was that, luv?"  
  
She said a very naughty word in vampiric.  
  
He chuckled. "Oh." He dropped the feathers, and went right for her ribs with his fingers, going to the spot that she'd shown him, both sides at once.  
  
She squealed, laughed, tugged, arched, and squirmed at the same time.  
  
Spike loved this. He released her rib with one hand, and found the spot on her hip. Both her worst ticklish spots, at the same time.  
  
She squirmed, getting out of breath. Her laughs came between desperate gasps for breath.  
  
He stopped, sat back, giving her time to breathe. "Do you want me to stop now?"  
  
She shook her head. "Uh-huh."  
  
He grinned, got up, and untied her, leaving her lying on the bed. He sat next to the headboard, leaning on a pillow next to her. "Was that fun for you?"  
  
She gave a reluctant nod, still pulling in deep breaths, her chest rising and falling in rapid succession.  
  
He chuckled. "Now you know why it's a good thing not to have to breathe." He laid down next to her, purring quietly, extremely contented. Happy. Relaxed.  
  
Her eyes closed, she smiled at the vibrations going through her body from his purring. "What was your point?"  
  
"Don't leave coupons lying around for one thing. Although..." He placed a piece of paper on her stomach. "You at least deserve a little revenge."  
  
She picked it up, squinted at it. "Allows Buffy Anne Summers and her alone to subject Spike to as much tickling torture as she sees fit. No time limit, feathers are allowed," the note said.  
  
She smiled. "Specified the torture this time."  
  
"Yep. Not making that mistake again."  
  
She pouted playfully.  
  
He grinned at her, then closed his eyes, still purring loudly. No words, just that happy rumbling. She laid one hand on his chest, liking the feel of it traveling up her arm, through her body.  
  
He smiled at her touch, and the volume of the purr increased. "You like when I do this?"  
  
"Mmm..."  
  
He snuggled up against her, allowing her to feel the purr better, draped an arm over her waist and nuzzled his face against her neck.  
  
She pondered the purr a moment, tried one of her own. A gurgling mumble was all she got for her trouble.  
  
He grinned, opening his eyes and looking at her. "Humans can't purr, luv." Considered. "But, I didn't think humans could speak vampiric either. Try in your throat, like gargling."  
  
She pouted. "I did."  
  
He chuckled, purring louder. "Leave it to me, then." Nuzzled her neck again.  
  
She focused, tried again. Got a very manufactured fake-cat noise.  
  
"Getting better. Don't concentrate. It comes from emotion. From love, contentment, happiness. That's what makes me purr. Just relax..." He nuzzled her some more, planting light kisses on her neck.  
  
Her stomach went liquid. The contented noise that spilled from her lips was by no means a purr. But it was a noise that Spike knew well, and knew was completely Buffy.  
  
"Close enough..." He continued kissing her neck, and playfully nibbled on an ear lobe.  
  
She turned her head, giving him more access.  
  
He alternately kissed, nibbled, and licked his way around that side of her neck, wondering how much she could take before she'd pounce him.  
  
Not much. In a practiced, smooth movement, she turned, rolling her body on top of his, her hands gripping his wrists.  
  
He grinned at her. "Whoa, easy there, luv. I'm delicate."  
  
She snorted, bent her head to nibble at the mark on his neck she had taken to calling hers. "Whatever."  
  
His eyes crossed with pleasure. That always got him. His hands roamed over her back, and he attempted to lean up and kiss her some more, but he was also open to whatever she wanted to do. All through this, the deep purring continued.  
  
She lifted her head, let him kiss her. He purred into her mouth, nibbling on her lip, his tongue quickly finding hers and playfully dueling with it. She sighed into his, letting the playful duel turn slightly serious.  
  
He continued to purr, leaving her mouth to kiss and nibble a trail down her throat, all the way to her collarbone. He nibbled and licked around to the claim mark he had left, then began to pay special attention to it.  
  
Her body was slowly putting all it's weight on his. Her hands slipped from his wrists, snaked down his arms, to play over his chest. As he continued to nibble and lick around the mark he had left, he moaned at the pleasurable shivers that her hands on his chest were sending through him. The purring turned into a repeating phrase, "*I love you, I love you, I love you...*"  
  
The phrase pulsed through her system like blood, and it made her strong, made her beautiful, made her soft, made her invincible. Her eyes closed, body shaking, her hands moved back up his arms, to link with his. They pulled apart for a moment, both needing to catch their breath. Her out of need, him out of habit. He rested his forehead on hers, leaning up slightly, the "*I love you..*" purr continuing.  
  
She said quietly, "Spike?"  
  
"Yeah?" Equally quietly.  
  
"When you... When I was... what else did you have planned?"  
  
"When you were tied up, you mean?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
He chuckled quietly. "I dunno, really. Just wanted to get back at you for yesterday. But, I wanted to have fun, and I love seeing and hearing you laugh, so I decided to tickle you. Also, I wanted to test out the new spot you showed me."  
  
She smiled. "That's it?"  
  
"Yeah. That's it. Why?"  
  
She dismissed it with a shrug. "Just asking." She nuzzled under his chin.  
  
He purred louder again, the phrase still there, but quieter, halfway drowned out by the plain purring. He nuzzled her back. "Luv?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Don't suppose you'll tell me when you plan on using that coupon, would you?"  
  
She shook her head. "Of course not."  
  
"Had to ask. Never hurts. Unless I just made it worse. Did I?"  
  
She shook her head, only half listening, still so glad that was all he planned, he hadn't- Nevermind, Buffy, she told herself.  
  
"What are you thinking about, luv?", he asked, nuzzling the top of her head gently.  
  
"Nothing. Nothing." She smiled, kissed him, biting gently at his lip, drawing his thoughts away from hers.  
  
He grinned and leaned into the kiss, knowing there was something that was bothering her, but also knowing that she didn't want him to know what right then. That was fine with him. "Are we just going to spend the rest of the day making out, or did you want to do anything else?"  
  
She grinned. "Don't say it like that. Makes us sound seventeen."  
  
He chuckled. "I feel about seventeen when I'm with you, luv. I've never felt like this before. Even when I actually WAS seventeen."  
  
She smiled. "No horny William. Only Poetry William."  
  
He chuckled. "Tell me about it. I had to die to figure out what everyone else was talking about."  
  
"And quite the family to learn from. Dru shaped your fetishes well. "  
  
He snorted. "I do NOT have fetishes."  
  
She just looked at him.  
  
He bit back a chuckle. "Name one."  
  
She stood, slid off the bed, and walked to a chest in the corner. Tugging the lid open, she began pulling out things, laying them slowly in individual piles. Collar. Chains with cuffs. Her eyes widened. Whip.  
  
He gave an embarrassed moan and rolled onto his side, curling into a fetal position. "Ok, I get it, enough. And those could be used to ward off demons."  
  
"Oh yeah... Totally get how the collar could do that." She chuckled then put his toys back, closed the lid.  
  
He stayed curled up, eyes closed. "For intimidation. And it's a keepsake."  
  
She fought back a laugh. "Okay."  
  
Very quiet. "It's not funny." 'I"m so bloody glad I can't blush..', he thought.  
  
She sighed, then moved to sit beside him on the bed. "Everyone's allowed to have a thing. As long as it doesn't involve minors, animals, or the TRULY unwalking, unwaking dead, I figure it's their business."  
  
Shiver of disgust. "Euch."  
  
"Yup. Or trees."  
  
"Blech..." He stayed curled up, comfortable with his eyes closed. "Gross. Unspeakably so."  
  
"Oh yeah. Now. Don't you seem just a touch more normal?"  
  
"For a walking, talking, demon possessed, human soul having, corpse who's in love with the one human that's sworn to kill him? What do you think?"  
  
She gave a disappointed sigh. "I meant about your... preferences."  
  
"Yeah. I guess." He squirmed around a little. "Is it possible to have a cuddling fetish?" He laid his head in her lap.  
  
She smiled. Ran a hand over his hair. "Maybe."  
  
The purring began again. "Well, that's not bad, though. Right?" Nuzzled her leg.  
  
Smile grew warmer. "Right." Her hand toyed with the hair at the back of his neck.  
  
Purred louder, pressed against her hand. "Luv?"  
  
"Mmm?" Her mind was relaxing as quickly as her body was.  
  
"I am really gonna get it tomorrow, aren't I?" He opened one eye and grinned up at her.  
  
She smiled, giving a soft laugh. "Don't feel like revenge right now. Give it a few days."  
  
"Ok. Good." He moved out of her lap, pulling her down onto the bed with him and wrapping his arms around her. "Want to take a nap?"  
  
She smiled. "Yeah."  
  
========================================================================== ===========  
  
Spike dodged Buffy's punch, dropping and rolling, knocking her legs from under her. She fell lightly, sprung back up, gave a short kick to his middle, acted to fake a right, then followed through with it. The punch caught the vampire square in the nose, sending him flying off the mat. She'd hit harder than she'd intended. "OOF!"  
  
She stopped. Grimaced. "Sorry." Walked to where he lay, extended a hand.  
  
He waved her off, a quiet growl coming from him. His hand held over his nose, rubbing gingerly. He stood up, looked at his hand, surprised to see blood on it. "Bloody nose. You gave me a bloody nose!"  
  
She stepped close, wiped at it gently. "I said sorry!"  
  
He flinched at her touch. "Ow. It's okay, luv. It's just been awhile since you've actually hurt me."  
  
The door opened, and Giles stuck his head in. "Is everything alright in here? I heard a crash."  
  
Buffy stifled a small grin. "I made him bleed. He's ok."  
  
Spike shot her an annoyed look. "She gave me a bloody nose."  
  
Giles suppressed a chuckle at the look on the vampire's face. "Spike, please remember that you volunteered for this."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Where're the icepacks..." He started rooting around in one of the cabinets.  
  
Buffy shot her Watcher a silent giggle. Wiped it off her face quickly as Spike looked at her.  
  
Giles chuckled quietly, shaking his head. "If there's nothing else, I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to lunch, but Anya will be here if either of you need anything." He looked at Spike. "Like an ambulance." Turned to go out the door, muttered, "..or a hearse..."  
  
"I HEARD that, Rupert!", Spike called, holding an icepack to his nose and sitting indignantly on the mat.  
  
Buffy gave a small laugh and wave. "Bye! Bring me food!"  
  
"Sandwich?!", the Watcher called back.  
  
"Chicken salad!!!! CROUTONS!!!! RANCH DRESSING!!!"  
  
"OK!! AND I'LL BRING WINGS FOR SPIKE." The door closed, ringing the bell.  
  
Spike snorted, then immediately regretted it as a pain shot through his nose. "Oohh." He put the icepack back on.  
  
She winced sympathetically. Started to hit a punching bag. "I really am sorry."  
  
"S'ok, luv. Maybe if you weren't so distracted with whatever it is you've been thinking about for the last three days, you would have remembered that we agreed not to hit my nose." All of this came out sounding like a British Steve Urkel, due to the fact that Spike was partially holding his nose with the icepack.  
  
She frowned, hit the bag hard, one last time and turned to face him, sighing. "*I* was concentrating on the fight. If YOU hadn't been thinking about... whatever it is YOU think I'VE been thinking about, you would have blocked that punch a little better! Or at all."  
  
"You've been out in space for the last few days, luv. Admit it. That big grey thing should've been an easy kill for you, instead, I had to save you from it. What's wrong? Can't you tell me if something's bothering you anymore?"  
  
She turned back to the bag, resumed her abuse of it. "I was..." Big sigh. Anything. "Thinking about Dawn's grades, and I COULD have taken that thing!"  
  
"No you weren't. And when would you have taken it? Before, or after it removed your head with it's claws?!" He stood up, discarding the now mostly melted icepack. "Come on, Slayer. What's really bothering you? There was a time when I was the *only* one that you told anything important to, and now you're locking me out again. All I want is to be there when you need me, whether you know it or not."  
  
Another vicious swipe at the bag. "Hello!? It wasn't important! I didn't, and don't intend on, telling you! I don't need someone there for me right now! It's fine! And before it took my head off, thank you very much."  
  
He sighed. Sat down again. "Okay. Fine. I just wanted to help. See if I ask again." He stretched out on his stomach, playing with the tie down at the edge of the mat.  
  
She began tearing the tape off her knuckles. "Fine. It was fine! And fine! Don't ask again." She tossed the tape to the floor, angry beyond what his words called for, and stormed through the door, breezing past Anya. She was halfway down the sidewalk before she realized she was still wearing tear-aways and a beater. Buffy sighed, knowing she'd rather die (again) than go back in there just to get clothes. She headed to Giles'. He had a punching bag, and junk food. Everything she needed.  
  
Spike sat up slightly. He couldn't follow her, the noon sun saw to that, so he would have to wait for her to return. Spike stretched back out on the mat again, returning to his playing with the tie down.  
  
Anya poked her head in the door. "Did she break anything?"  
  
"Just my nose." He tugged on the tie down. "And that, not even."  
  
"At least I won't have to put it on her bill?" She gave a hopeful smile.  
  
Quiet chuckle. "No customers at the moment?"  
  
She shook her head, sank down at the opposite end of the mat. "No."  
  
He rolled on his side, watching the vengeance demon. "You're bored, then?"  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" She rushed on quickly, "Ehh... there's no liquor. So... ya know, no threat of sex." She smiled engagingly.  
  
He chuckled again. "I guessed that, Anya. Yeah. It would help to have someone who actually listens to me for a change."  
  
She nodded. "Buffy isn't listening again?"  
  
He rolled onto his back. "No. She's listening to me. But she's not listening to herself. There's something bothering her, and she won't tell me what. And that's what's got me pissed today. How about you?"  
  
She shrugged. "Xander. I don't have him. Or sex. Which, I've decided could be a catalyst to a horrific killing spree that I've been feeling like lately."  
  
He laughed. "Are you serious? You'd go out, forget everything you've worked for, and actually kill humans again? Just because it's been... what? Seven months without sex?"  
  
She frowned. "Actually, I was thinking about the rising bunny population in Sunnydale. It's frightening and not to be dismissed."  
  
He tried not to laugh, really. But it just didn't work. In a moment, he was clutching at his sides, trying desperately to control himself. "Sorry... sorry..", he kept gasping out between laughs. "..really sorry..."  
  
She was indignant. "You are truly horrible! I try to be sympathetic and caring, and you LAUGH at my VERY rational fear of those furry, beady eyed beasts??"  
  
He managed to gain control. "Ok, you're right. I'm sorry. If it helps, I'm scared of beetles, spiders, and scorpions."  
  
She nodded. "It does. Now. What did Buffy say when you confronted her?"  
  
"That it wasn't important, and that she had no intention of telling me, and that I should mind my own business. Not in so many words, but that's the gist of it."  
  
She frowned. "And you really want to know?"  
  
"Yes. Because in two years there hasn't been anything that she hasn't told me. She's even told me things that she hasn't told the others, and it hurts that she's suddenly keeping secrets. And the only thing I can think of is that it has to be about me! I must have done something wrong on our date, or screwed up something... maybe I purr too much. I just don't know.." He sighed and laid on his side, curling up slightly, giving the impression of a lonely little boy.  
  
Anya scooted closer, patting his shoulder in her best comforting shoulder pat, which was really little more than a repeated pat on his shoulder with a stiff hand. "Xander might still be blissfully backfloating in DeNile, but I noticed you've got a new scar. Buffy claimed you."  
  
"Yeah. And you know the weird thing? She started it. And spoke vampiric. And she's done it several times since then. Without using her link to me."  
  
Anya's brow knit. "You can read eachother's minds. You've sifted through eachother's already. All you have to do is let her fall asleep, and check her mind."  
  
"That wouldn't be right. She's just starting to trust me, really trust me for the first time. She loves me. I can't... violate her like that. Never." He actually shivered on the word 'violate'. Bad memory.  
  
Anya shrugged. "Then you're out of options."  
  
"I could ask her again."  
  
Anya laughed like it was a very funny joke.  
  
He stared at her. "I'm serious."  
  
She gave a little cough when she realized that he was. "I just... don't see it. Not the way she walked out of here." She unknowingly echoed Dawn's words at him. "I think this time you've got to put up or shut up." She smiled proudly. "I learned that on wrestling. It means that you should be ready to fight, or to just leave it alone." She gave a thoughtful frown. "Have you ever smelled what the Rock is cooking? Because I've tried, and I just can't."  
  
He snorted, then rubbed his nose. "Actually, I don't even watch wrestling. I'm more of a reading man. And I don't want to fight. And I really think that she'll tell me when she wants to. All I have to to is be patient."  
  
Anya gave him a skeptical look. "Tomorrow's forecast isn't hell freezing over." She nodded vehemently. "And I know. Because I'm a vengeance demon."  
  
He laughed. "I know, but Buffy surprises me sometimes. And I'm a demon, too, you know. You people constantly forget that."  
  
She smiled sadly. "I wish I had that problem. They never forget that." Gave a smile. "But I think Buffy will REALLY break your nose before she tells you."  
  
He shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time. But I'm not worried about her hurtin' me. She's got more powerful ammunition than that."  
  
She was confused. "What do you mean?"  
  
He answered without thinking. "Oh, I made the mistake of giving her a coupon that entitles her to tickle torture me... Oops." 'Can't blame Buffy for that one, can you, ya bleedin poofter!'  
  
She smiled sadly. "I used to give Xander coupons for free or-" she stopped. "Massages. Free massages."  
  
His eyes got big. "Uh, Anya, you don't tell Cec- Halfrek everything you hear, do you?" He deliberately ignored her statement, so didn't want THAT mental image, massage or not.  
  
Anya considered. "Only the truly interesting."  
  
"Please tell me that what I just said wasn't interesting."  
  
"Not half as-" she stopped. "No."  
  
"Not half as what?"  
  
"Um... half... half as interesting as a piece of gossip I heard on the demon vine." She cocked her head to the side. "My. The bell. For the door. To the shop. That means someone wants to buy something." She stood, gave an awkward smile and dashed out.  
  
He snorted, noting that it didn't hurt as much. He took to the sewers, heading back to his crypt. Buffy could find him when she wanted to.  
  
Meanwhile, back at Giles'...  
  
Buffy was wailing on Giles' old punching bag, noting that it wasn't half as broken in as hers, and that soon enough, her knuckles would start bleeding. Looked down. Damn. Already were.  
  
Giles came out of the kitchen. "Good lord, Buffy. That's enough. Let me see your hands."  
  
She gave the bag one last, violent side-smack, and crossed to him. He took her hands, leading her to the couch. "I'm going to get some alcohol. Whatever has made you so mad that you decided to kill my punching bag?" He got up, began rooting around in a small sack near the punching bag.  
  
"Whatever always makes me so mad that I decide to kill things?"  
  
Giles chuckled, sitting back down and gently applying the alcohol to her knuckles. "You had a fight with Spike."  
  
She gave a tiny wince as he cleaned them. "He makes me so mad."  
  
"And yet you love him." He finished cleaning the bloody knuckles, and began applying bandages.  
  
She sighed. "I guess so. Do you have private thoughts?"  
  
"Everyone does."  
  
"Exactly! Since I love Spike, does that make my private thoughts ANY of his business?"  
  
"Has he been prying into your thoughts without your permission, Buffy?" There was a slightly Ripperesque tone in the question.  
  
"No." Emphasized. "No. I just... I mean, they ARE none of his business, right?"  
  
Giles relaxed slightly, trying to see it from both sides. "Do you worry when he's thinking about something and doesn't tell you?"  
  
"Only when I was hiding the spell."  
  
"Spike, believe it or not, is a very fragile person, Buffy. He's probably just scared that you're trying to pull away from him. Surely if your roles were reversed, you would feel the same?"  
  
She sighed. "Fine. I give you that. But I TOLD him. I'm fine. He won't let it go."  
  
"He's worried. He's scared. He thinks that because he's completely honest with you, that you should be the same with him, at least concerning eachother." Giles looked at her inquisitively. "What is it that you're hiding from him, anyway? If you want to tell me, that is."  
  
How to explain without revealing she was tied to his bed?? "We were... talking... about... trust." Safe enough, close enough. "And he started tickling me. Pinned me, ya know?"  
  
"So you were playing? I don't see what's wrong with that, unless he wouldn't stop when you wanted him to."  
  
"When he pinned me..." She played with the bandages over her knuckles. "That... part of me, that kind of tickles when I know I should watch out?"  
  
"Yes. The part that Xander refers to as your "Spider sense"?"  
  
Small grin. "Yeah. It was huge, and screaming, and making sure I heard. I was... terrified, and the whole time my mind was making escape plans, routes, taking things into consideration, weight, force... everything. I thought... I don't know what, but all he was doing was tickling. And I was just... so afraid of him. And I've been trying to figure out why. And I don't know. And he won't lay off about it."  
  
Giles thought. "I don't know why you'd suddenly be afraid of him. Has he seemed... different? Mean? Anything vicious about him?"  
  
Shook her head. "No."  
  
"Strange behavior? Growling at nothing? Anything that seemed strange. Even for Spike."  
  
Maybe lies were best for now. "No."  
  
Giles knew her too well. "Buffy."  
  
She smiled. "It's ok, Giles. I think I figured it out."  
  
"Oh? What is it, then?"  
  
Cast around in her head. "Well, we've never played like that. Not in a long time. And... my senses were reacting to me playing with a chipless vamp." she nodded her head. "Sounds plausible, right?"  
  
Giles chuckled. "You might be right. Perhaps you should ask Spike if he's had similar feelings. Of course, you'd have to put him in a similar position to what he did to you to find out. It might be a good experiment for both of you."  
  
She picked at the bandages more. They already had. No more. It wasn't a fun game. "Maybe."  
  
"Alright. Are you still mad at him?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Spike can do no wrong, Giles."  
  
Giles chuckled. "Yes he can. Believe me. And weren't you supposed to meet him after lunch?"  
  
She snorted. "I don't feel like it. I'm mad at him for not being wrong."  
  
Giles chuckled. "Ah. Well, there's always tomorrow."  
  
She nodded. "Sure."  
  
========================================================================== =========  
  
Buffy was not slinking, like she sometimes did while patrolling. Tonight, she stalked. She was quiet, walking purposefully through the graveyard, her sacred duty tonight more worthwhile than it had been in a while. She turned quickly, stake plunging downward.  
  
Spike yelped, and fell on his butt.  
  
The fire in her eyes died, only to kindle again as she eyed the vamp on his butt in the grass. She sighed, and extended a hand. He gave her a shaky grin and accepted her help, wondering if she felt the semi-erratic momentary pulse that seeing her about to stake him had caused. The vampire version of a heart attack.  
  
She had, and it, too, irked her. "You should KNOW not to sneak up on me by now."  
  
He breathed in and out a couple of times, forcing the semi-heartbeat to stop. "I wasn't sneaking, I was walking. Going home."  
  
She arched her eyebrow, giving a small but meaningful glance to the crypt she had passed ten yards back.  
  
"Uh, then I saw you and decided to say hi. Since you didn't drop by this afternoon." Slightly hurt tone.  
  
"I was training." Slightly guilty tone.  
  
"Oh. Well. Bye then." He turned around and headed for his crypt. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
Her arms were folded defensively across her chest. "Do you pay him?" She called at his back.  
  
He paused. "Pay who?" Turned around, looked at her with a confused puppy look.  
  
She sighed, and turned slightly. She wanted to fight Spike, not kick a puppy. "Giles. Do you pay Giles to say you're right?"  
  
A slow, happy smile. "Rupert agreed with me about something?"  
  
"Yeah," she said sarcastically. "You've got a damn fan club going on."  
  
The smile faded. She was mad at him. Still. "Yeah. And you're not in it, are you?"  
  
"No. You're nosy and right too damn much." Belligerent tone.  
  
He just looked at her. When she said nothing to clarify, he turned to walk home again. He could sleep without her. He knew he could. Nightmares? Yes. But nothing he couldn't handle. He stopped, sat on a tombstone and rubbed a hand over his face. "I have a headache," he muttered.  
  
She followed him, her bandaged hands grabbing her upper arms as she crossed them over herself.  
  
He rubbed the bridge of his nose absently, trying to rid himself of the sudden, Slayer induced migraine.  
  
"I didn't... I hate it when you don't fight back. It makes me feel worse."  
  
"Sorry. I have a headache. Don't feel like fighting. And I'm hungry, and I pulled a muscle. Bad day."  
  
She shoved a swollen hand through her hair. This wasn't right. It wasn't going like she wanted it to. Of course, she hadn't planned on seeing him till the next day. She sighed. "I've been thinking about something for the last few days."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
She hoped he realized that was as close as he was gonna get to that 'you were right, darling' crap. She said quietly, "I should never have tied you to the bed."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
She turned to pace in short lengths, her sore hands gesticulating. "Because! I know what it felt like. I knew when you chained me to a wall with Druscilla. And I knew when you tied me up three days ago. It's arousing, fine. Whatever. I agree, ok? But it gives whoever's free WAY too much power over the other person."  
  
He nodded. "Yeah. I know. That's why I kept asking you what you wanted me to do."  
  
She shook her head. "I don't... I don't have that kind of trust built up for anyone yet. Anyone. And I- I was terrified. I will-cannot be defenseless like that. It makes the Slayer come out, and leaves Buffy to cower."  
  
He nodded again. "Alright. Never again. Either of us."  
  
"Fine." She needed to explain. She realized he deserved that.  
  
"So this is what's been bothering you for the last few days, huh?"  
  
"You didn't... wouldn't hurt me. But that I could still be terrified that you would? *That's* what's been bothering me."  
  
He looked at her. "I felt the same way the other day. Scared, and I didn't know why. It wasn't the kind of scared that comes from thinking that you're gonna be tickled. That's a good scared. I was just scared. Practically shaking, and I didn't know why. I figured it was instinctive, you know?"  
  
She nodded her head, eyes on the bandages her fingers were picking at.  
  
He noticed her hands for the first time. For an instant, mental images from when she'd first come back flashed through his head. Her hands, bloody from the coffin, his hand, bleeding from punching that rock wall in a fit of rage and pain. "Are you okay? What happened?"  
  
She shrugged. "Fine. This- The bandages made Giles feel better. He know's they'll be fine tomorrow."  
  
Spike stood up, slowly. "Do you... would you like to stay at my place for awhile? Just an hour or so? Till sunrise?"  
  
She nodded. "Let me call Dawn. So she won't worry."  
  
"Okay. Deal." 


	23. An Old Painting.

Buffy walked into Spike's crypt without knocking. Man, that felt sleazy. Why did that feel sleazy now? She used to just kick the damn door in. She shook her head. Spike was out, getting her little buddy Harm dewormed. She knew he took the sewer, because his appointment was for 2:30. And, his VCR was set to record. Passions, she assumed. She pulled the small notebook out of her purse, scribbled a quick note. She looked around for tape. She smiled, and walked to the first aid kit, tearing off a small piece of medical tape. Buffy taped the note to the TV screen, knowing for sure that Spike would get it. She scurried out as quickly as she had come, making her way home. 'Should have woken him before you left,' she said to herself. She shrugged. He'd understand.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------  
  
Spike walked slowly back into the crypt. He was depressed. The vet had wanted to keep Harm overnight, because of a reaction to the worming medication. He was nervous, and worried, and .... What was that on the telly?  
  
He walked over, and pulled the piece of paper off the screen. "Spike, meet me at the park tonight at eight thirty. Don't worry. Not a date. -Buffy" He gave a small smile. Eight was in two hours. Date or not, he wanted to take a shower, wash the sewer/vet smell out of his hair and skin. He laid the note on top of the TV, his tape of Passions forgotten for the moment, and headed for the bathroom.  
  
-========================================================================= ===========  
  
'Drive or walk, drive or walk..', the vampire though to himself an hour and a half later. It was a cool night, so he decided to walk.  
  
Buffy smoothed the blanket over the sandbox one more time. Then she sat on the blanket tucking her legs under herself. She hoped he liked the shirt. It was red. The pants were black. She went over the plates spread in front of her. Hotwings, normal wings. Bloomin' onion, beer, plastic champagne glasses, and votive candles leading from the path to the sandbox and all around it. Apple lipgloss!!!! She knew she forgot something! She pulled it out of her purse quickly, smoothed it on. She pulled out the sparkling grape juice she had gotten, and waited very, very nervously.  
  
There was a strange glow coming from part of the park. If Spike had been human, he wouldn't have even seen it, but his vampire eyes were so sensitive that he could detect anything that wasn't normal night light. He walked cautiously toward the glow, relaxing when he saw the candles, and smelled Buffy nearby. He caught sight of her in the sandbox near the see-saws. "Hey," he called quietly, not wanting to surprise her.  
  
Her head jerked up, and she gave a big smile, slightly nervous.  
  
He approached slowly, taking in the picnic she'd laid out. His mouth watered involuntarily at the hotwings. "Dinner, I'm guessing?"  
  
She nodded, smiled again, biting her bottom lip the whole time.  
  
He sat on the edge of the sandbox, grinning at her. "I thought I told you not to bite your lip, luv."  
  
She let it go, patted the blanket that covered the whole sandbox, preventing that yucky- sand-sticky-feeling, and giving it a more sweet overtone, if she did say so herself.  
  
He took the hint and moved onto the blanket. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this impromptu meeting?" Chuckled at his own wordiness.  
  
She gave another uneasy grin. "Dunno."  
  
He chuckled again. "Didn't you write in your note for *me* not to be nervous? Don't you think that should go for you, too? I mean, 'not a date', right?"  
  
'Big smile. "Right. Just.. dinner." With candles, and beer, and bubbly fake champagne, you idiot,' she derided herself. 'Way to make the comfy mood.'  
  
"Yeah. Dinner." Picked up a hotwing, then handed it to her. "And at dinner, what is it you usually do at dinner? I think it's called... what was it? Oh! Eating." Upon hearing her thoughts, he was trying to make her feel better.  
  
She gave a laugh, and took the hotwing from his hands, took a bite. "You're right. I forgot!"  
  
He chuckled and took a piece of the bloomin' onion and bit into it. "And you just felt like having a picnic all of the sudden, huh?"  
  
"Shut up." She grinned and pulled off a piece of the onion.  
  
He laughed and ate a hotwing, liberally dipped in the ranch sauce. Reclined against a see-saw. "This is... nice. Fun. Great idea, luv."  
  
She gave a big smile. "Thank you. How's my handsome man?"  
  
His eyes clouded slightly. "Harmon, you mean?" He stared at the food. "He, uh, he had to stay overnight at the vet. Had a mild reaction to the deworming. Threw up. Scared me half to death. The vet's gonna keep him till tomorrow afternoon. Three pm is when I can go get him."  
  
She nodded. "Well, we'll go get him. He'll be fine, Spike."  
  
"I hope so." Took a bite of onion. Chewed slowly. "I'm scared for him. He's... he's never been away from me since he was small enough to fit in my hand. What if he thinks I've abandoned him? Betrayed him?" Swallowed the onion, picked up a hotwing, stared at it, then up at the stars. "Sorry. I'm not being much fun tonight."  
  
Buffy shrugged. "You don't have to be. He doesn't. He knows he's sick, cuz if he's got worms, the worms get most of his food, not him. He knows you're taking care of him, the best way you know how."  
  
Spike gave her a shaky smile. "Thanks, luv. You seem to be able to make me feel better about anything." He ate the hotwing in his hand. "Do you have any other plans for tonight, or is the picnic it?"  
  
She shrugged. "My evening is clear. Well, I figure, whenever this is done, I'll do a quick sweep, but that's it."  
  
"Actually, I've already done a sweep around Oak Park cemetery, and around my crypt. Had to do somethin' while I waited for time to meet you." Took a sip of beer.  
  
"Oh. Then no plans."  
  
"Good. Maybe you could come back with me? Keep me company? The crypt isn't the same without Harm."  
  
She nodded. "Sure. I told Dawn I might not come home."  
  
"You can still call her. In fact..." He rummaged around in his pocket for a moment, came up with a pure black cell phone. "Ta da. Like it? It's new. Some guy outside the vet's office was doing a special demonstration, and I signed up. I don't even have to pay for three months!"  
  
She gave a small laugh. "Very cool. Very small." She took it out of his hands, and started to play with it.  
  
"Hey! Don't hurt it, Slayer. It's delicate. You can call Dawn though. Oh, and here..." He pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket. "As of right now, you are the only one with this number. I might give it to Rupert, later. But for now, you're the only one. And don't tell Dawn I have it. I don't want her borrowing it and calling... China, or something."  
  
She saluted. "Aye, aye." She put the slip of paper in her purse. She handed him back his phone. "I'll call her later. She's not even home yet."  
  
He rolled his eyes, snorted, placing the phone back in his pocket. "Another 'date'? That Andrew wa- guy again?"  
  
She smiled approvingly. "Good boy. And yeah. He's really nice." She leaned on her side, took his can and drank a small sip, and started eating the normal wings.  
  
He grinned. "Thanks. I know. It's just... she's *my* Lil' Bit, ya know?" Tried a normal wing, made a face, ate a hotwing quickly.  
  
She smiled. "I know she's yours. And so does Andrew. And the normal wings did NOT deserve that mean face."  
  
He chuckled. "Thank you. I know, and I'm just not used to them, you know? Non spicy stuff, I can't really taste. Tastes like dust with texture."  
  
"Well, some of us just can't handle the spicy-ness."  
  
He chuckled again. "Not me. I can't taste stuff unless the main flavor is greatly exaggerated. Super sweet, super spicy, that sort of thing. Salty, like popcorn. It's the vamp tastebuds, you see. Blood is our chocolate, so regular chocolate is supposed to be boring. But, I don't know. I've always been able to taste human food. Must be another quirk." He eyed the grape juice. "Luv? Are we celebratin' something?"  
  
Buffy ducked her head. Tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear, and said softly, "You've been back three months."  
  
He grinned hugely, then tamped it down. "An anniversary? Really? All this for me?" He almost looked like he was blushing, but that wasn't possible, was it?  
  
She gave a small shrug. "Well..."  
  
He stared at the hotwing. Must be the spiciness getting to him, cause his cheeks felt hot....  
  
She looked up at Spike shyly. The candles had to be casting a glare, because his cheeks were the lightest shade of pink.  
  
He looked away, the annoying warm feeling embarrassing him even more. 'Look at the stars, anything...'  
  
"Um... so... well, ya know... happy.. being back-ness?"  
  
He let out a small laugh. "I guess 'Many Happy Returns' would sound corny, huh?" Still looking up.  
  
She was looking down. "Yeah. Really corny."  
  
He shook his head, looked at her, the warmth going from the outside in as he gazed at the woman he loved more than anything he'd ever known. "How do you do that?"  
  
He chuckled. "I'm gonna quote a song here. Not mine, don't worry. Bryan Adams, actually." He stared up at the stars again, singing softly, "Nothing I have ever known, has made me feel this way, nothing I have ever seen, has made me want to stay. Here I am, ready for you, I'm torn and, I'm fallin', I hear my home callin'. Hey. I've never felt something so strong, oh no, it's like nothing I've ever known."  
  
Her eyes burned, and she trained them steadily on his chest, not trusting to look up yet. "It's a pretty song."  
  
"Sums up the way you make me feel, I think. Heard it in a movie a few weeks ago. Got stuck in my head till I went out and bought the soundtrack." He looked at her, then ate the last hotwing.  
  
She tucked her hair behind her ear again. "Oh."  
  
He leaned against the see saw again. "Would you like to talk about something, luv? Maybe you like my shirt, since you can't seem to take your eyes off it."  
  
She slowly looked up at his blue eyes. Ones she had blackened on more than one occasion. Ones she had stared into while she made love with him, ones she had refused to look into when she did the same thing. Made a smile turn the corners of her lips. "It's a nice shirt."  
  
Disbelieving. "Uh-huh. Want to go for a walk?"  
  
"Yeah." She stood quickly.  
  
He climbed to his feet. "Want to clean this up first? I'll do it for you. Since you went to all the trouble of setting it up."  
  
She knelt again, started cleaning. "No. It's for you. I got it."  
  
"Can't I at least help?"  
  
She was putting things, containers, plates back into the basket. "Sure."  
  
He began gathering up the bones from the wings, put them into a plastic bag, and stuffed them in the trash can, burying them beneath some plates and other garbage. "Don't want stray animals, dogs, cats, squirrels, finding the bones and choking on them."  
  
She nodded. "Right." The basket was packed, and she stood, folding the blanket. "Wanna blow out the candles? You can shove them into the basket when we come back, let the wax get hard again."  
  
He grinned, then gave her a look. "Luv, vampire. I don't breathe. What am I gonna do, stare them out?"  
  
She gave him a look. "You do, too breathe. Nevermind, you don't. I'll get em."  
  
He chuckled. "When do I breathe?"  
  
She walked down her impromptu path, blowing out the candles, deciding to come back after the walk before she even touched them. She stood upright again, and crossed to him. "When you sleep, or talk, or smoke. After we tickle you..."  
  
"I breathe in my sleep?"  
  
"Yeah, you do. Deep and steady. Well, not when you were sick, but every other time."  
  
He chuckled. "Ok. You've got me. And I have a pulse, too. But only when something scares the shit out of me."  
  
She laughed. "Yeah, I know. So... Walk?"  
  
He grinned, and offered her an elbow. "Where do you want to go, luv? Round the track?"  
  
She hooked her arm through his. "Sure." She leaned her head against his shoulder as they walked. "Sorry."  
  
"For what, luv?"  
  
"I get uncomfortable when you talk about me like that."  
  
"Like what?" He brought his other hand up and grasped her hand that was hooked through his arm.  
  
With her free hand, she gestured behind her, to the sandbox. "Like... back there."  
  
"Oh. You mean the song?"  
  
She gave a shrug/nod.  
  
"I won't do it again, if you don't want me to. I'll keep to my notebooks."  
  
She shook her head, knowing she wasn't vocalizing right. "Sometimes... you just... look at me, like you've never seen me before, and I'm this... beautiful, new, perfect thing, and you don't know how've you've missed me." She sighed. "And sometimes, at the same time, even, you look at me, and know everything. The worst, the best, and it's still incredible and beautiful. I'm not used to that."  
  
He smiled at her. "That's what love is. For me, anyway. What do you see, when you look at me?"  
  
She focused intently inward, and let the words fall out of her as they came to her. "Beautiful, hard, careful, possessive. Fun, mean, tough, sweet. And new things, all the time. Things I didn't know... didn't want to know. Loving. Respectful. Guarded. Hurt. Sensitive."  
  
He smiled again. "Thank you. But don't tell anyone, or it's just the tough and mean parts you'll see for awhile."  
  
She smiled. "Yeah yeah... It's like... Having an old painting, you know? And... then, one day, looking at it again, more closely, and seeing that it's not at all what you thought it was. It's got all these details you never even looked for, and it changes the picture entirely." She looked up at him shyly. "Does... does that make sense?"  
  
He grinned. "Luv, are you sure that you aren't a poet? Because that was most definitely poetic. Beautiful. Painted a picture in my mind as you said it. It makes perfect sense. To me, anyway. It was the same thing with you. I just woke up one morning, and boom. There were all these things that I'd never noticed about you, and suddenly, they were all I saw. Grace, beauty, poise, all those I'd seen before. Ferocity, pain. But then there were the new things. Happiness. I can't tell you how it makes me feel inside to hear you laugh, really laugh. Love, the way you are with your family. Brings tears to my eyes to see how good you are with Lil' Bit. All those things that I just started noticing. You know?"  
  
She nodded. "Yeah."  
  
He chuckled to himself. "Pretty soon, I'm gonna be back to carrying my notebook around again, so I don't forget anything about you. Painting your portrait with words, if only so that I can keep finding new things to love about you." He gazed up at the stars. "Even if I wasn't a vampire, knowing you, I'd have to believe in God. There's no way that something as magnificent as you could happen by chance."  
  
She flushed, and looked at their touching hands. Found them suddenly interesting beyond words.  
  
"I'm embarrassing you again."  
  
She gave a small smile. "It's ok. Every girl likes to hear she's the sun, moon, and stars. And sometimes even a solar eclipse."  
  
"Planet, molecules, and the occasional black hole," he said with a chuckle.  
  
She punched his arm playfully. "Black hole, huh?? Harsh much?"  
  
"When you ignore me. It fits."  
  
She snorted. "I don't ignore. I freeze out, or blow up."  
  
"So a supernova, or space itself, huh?", he joked. Then continued seriously. "Supernova, nebula. Death, life. Hate, love. Everything. That's what you are to me."  
  
She felt very beautiful, very conflicted, and her claim was demanding she touch him. She stopped walking so she could wrap her arms around his middle.  
  
He paused, turned to face her, his arms loosely around her neck. "I'm still embarrassing you, aren't I?"  
  
She gave a half-smile. "Yeah. Guess I'm gonna have to shut you up." She stood on her toes, kissed him.  
  
He leaned into the kiss, making her sink back onto her feet. He pulled back slightly, and playfully nuzzled their noses together. "I love you."  
  
She smiled, nuzzled him back. She let herself gather the words in her mouth, praying for a graceful, easy delivery, as his words always were. He deserved to hear it like this, she just needed to coach herself a little as to how. "I love you, too."  
  
He grinned. "I know. Want to get the candles and stuff and head back to the crypt?"  
  
She smiled back, thinking her delivery was quite good. "Yeah. Sounds great." 


	24. As You Wish.

Spike grinned and held the door to his crypt open for Buffy. "After you, luv."  
  
She smiled and walked in ahead of him. "So! What's up for tonight?"  
  
He chuckled. "I dunno. You did the picnic. How about a drink? Non alcoholic, of course. Don't want you spitting all over my couch." He lead the way downstairs.  
  
She gave an indignant snort. "I did not throw up."  
  
"I said spitting, not puking. And you did. All over Rupert's shoes after you got home. He told me." He chuckled again. "He told me in the process of yelling at me for getting you drunk in the first place."  
  
She was thoroughly chagrined. "Shut up."  
  
He laughed. "You want coke? Thanks to Dawn, I now have Coke, Cherry Coke, Vanilla Coke, Dr. Pepper, and Mr. Pibb." He was looking in the fridge, moving things around.  
  
"Oh. Vanilla Coke. And it's not my fault. I mean, I haven't had a hundred plus years to get used to the effect alcohol would have on my non- body. Do you get hangovers?"  
  
He turned around, two bottles of vanilla coke in his hands. "Only with too much bourbon. Or straight Irish Whiskey. I throw that straight up. Angelus thought it was hilarious."  
  
She frowned and took one bottle from his hand. "You... just suck."  
  
"I'm a vampire. Comes with the package." He turned around, heading for the bathroom. "Be right back, luv. Don't drink mine."  
  
She nodded, watched him leave, then started to root through her purse. Lipgloss... where was the- ah! Lip- she frowned at the piece of paper wrapped around her lipgloss. She removed the offending thing, applied her gloss, shoved it back in her purse, and investigated the paper. Oooooh... her coupon entitling herself to a free tickle-torture of Spike. What fun.  
  
Spike came back and plopped on the couch, grabbing his coke. "So. What now?" He eyed the paper. "What's that?"  
  
She smiled. "I dunno. A paper." She gave it a good 'intense-study' frown. "It says that... I get to tickle torture you."  
  
His eyes got wide. "Uh oh. I was hoping you'd lost that."  
  
She grinned. "Oh, the apple lipgloss saw to that."  
  
He frowned at the gloss. "Traitor."  
  
She laughed. "Yeah... it's on the evil side." She sat on the couch next to him.  
  
He stared at her. "I don't suppose you'd pay any attention if I begged for mercy, huh?"  
  
"Not much, except to laugh."  
  
Spike whimpered. He sighed, resigned. "What do you want me to do?"  
  
She smiled. "Get comfortable."  
  
"Bed, or couch? Bed allows more squirming room. And less chance of falling off."  
  
She pondered the image of Spike falling off the couch, and started giggling. "A-hem. Ok. Bed."  
  
He gave a play growl, got up, trotted over to the bed, and lay down across it. "Anything else?"  
  
She shook her head. "No."  
  
"I get to keep my shirt?"  
  
She followed him slowly to the bed. "No."  
  
He swallowed. "So, remove shirt?" 'God help me..', he thought.  
  
"Yup." She stood at the foot of the bed, just watching him.  
  
He took off his shirt and tossed it onto a chair. Sat on the side of the bed. "Can I at least keep my eyes open?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Whew. Thanks. And squirming is allowed, right? Otherwise I'm liable to die laughing."  
  
She grinned. "Thank God, you're undead. Yes. Squirming."  
  
He gave a chuckle. "I know I'm undead, luv. Have known for quite some time now. And for some reason, I think it made me more ticklish than I was when I was human. Lucky for you."  
  
"Yup. Lucky me. Less talking, more getting comfy."  
  
He leaned against the pillows. "This okay?" There was a small amount of fear running through him, but it was anticipation fear. The good kind.  
  
She nodded. "Are you comfy?"  
  
He nodded, and gulped. "Can I call a break if I need to rest?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
She sat on the side of the bed, near the head. Ran a finger down his ribs experimentally.  
  
He twitched and let out a snort.  
  
Her eyes were on his and she ran a finger from between his collarbones, to the line between his abs.  
  
Spike let out a snorting giggle and squirmed slightly. A wave of ticklish pleasure washed through him. She had been right before, he absolutely loved this.  
  
She ran both hands lightly over his abs and ribs, wiggling here, scratching there.  
  
Spike laughed and squirmed, his body partially trying to evade her hands, and partially trying to hold still and enjoy it.  
  
She kept tickling him, then said suddenly, "How do you feel?"  
  
He squirmed and laughed, trying to focus on her question. "Uh... Itchy... a little. And... Ahh! Um.. Good, slight heart BEAT!! NOt there! And, .. uuh.. Happy, just.... Eek! Luv! Excited, that's 'bout iT!!"  
  
She slowed her fingers. All but stopped, except for her hands running up and down his sides. "That's not what I meant."  
  
"What'd you mean?"  
  
"Not... here..." She ran a hand down his chest. "Here." Where his heart should have been.  
  
"Emotions?"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"You don't have to ask, luv. You can feel what I feel."  
  
"Can- can I?" Permission. It was necessary.  
  
"Sure. Always." He said around a slight giggle as her hands found a particularly sensitive spot on his sides.  
  
She opened the part of her she had learned to block off after the cloaking spell. Her bond had always been stronger than his, emotions more easily noted, flung at her. At the forefront, as always, was love. Followed closely by pleasure, happiness, enjoyment, that same playful fear, and more love. Her eyes drifted shut, and she started to scratch at his ribs.  
  
Spike's leg started going slowly, and he purred happily. More pleasure, happiness, a whole lot of love, and something that was like a cross between contentment and joy.  
  
Her eyebrows lowered as she focused on the sensations, but her eyes opened to lock on Spike's.  
  
"Something wrong, luv?", he asked quietly, still purring.  
  
"No."  
  
"What, then?"  
  
"It feels..." she cast around for a word. "Warm."  
  
He grinned. "Yeah. I know. What were you expecting?"  
  
She shrugged, letting her mind block off again. "I dunno. I try to stay out of your head."  
  
He chuckled. "Thanks. I do the same. I know I've got some pretty disturbing things in there." He glanced at her playfully. "I'm not getting off the hook that easily, am I?"  
  
She leaned forward, kissed him lightly, then began to tickle with a renewed vengeance. "No way."  
  
He laughed and squirmed like a bucking horse, trying to roll sideways, to protect at least one set of ribs.  
  
She kept after him for a good ten minutes, eventually moving to kneel over his hips to keep him from squirming so badly.  
  
He didn't even bother begging. She knew he loved it, and wouldn't listen anyway. Instead, he just kept squirming as best he could with her in the new position, fighting the urge to grab her hands. Then, when she found the spot between his second and third rib, the blonde vampire went totally nuts, laughing hysterically.  
  
She was totally intrigued, and poked between them again.  
  
He let out something that could have been a squeal. "Luv! Ahh! NO! That's the.... same as.... near my toes... STOP!!"  
  
She snickered evilly. "Haha. Poor, poor Spike."  
  
He squirmed, trying to buck her away from the sensitive spot. "SLAYER!!!" Another squealing sound. "Stop IT!!" Unaware, he continued mentally. 'No, don't stop. Bloody wonderful... Loving it!'  
  
She laughed, hearing the conflicting pleas. She kept it up. "Buffy is the prettiest Slayer. Ever."  
  
"I KNEW that!!!!", he howled, rolling sideways and accidentally exposing the other set of ribs.  
  
She attacked the other side. "I have great friends. And ankles."  
  
He squealed again, rolling onto his stomach. "I know, I KNOW!!!" He was in hysterics. "Why did I ever... Give you.... That stupid.... Coupon!!" 'Because you love this, ya poofter!'  
  
She could still tickle him, and repositioned herself over his back, just getting the backs of his ribs now. "Um... Spike and Xander are going to be great friends."  
  
"NO BLOODY WAYYY!!" Oh, God! That made it worse. He laughed harder, tears coming from his eyes.  
  
She kept it up. "I'm sorry... What was that? Spike is going to take Xander out to the bar for dinner?"  
  
"Hell NOOOOOO!", he bucked, trying to throw her off. But he wasn't bucking half as hard as he could. 'Just stay away from my spine...'  
  
She let one hand torture his ribs, and ran the other down his spine. "Hell, what, Spike?"  
  
"NNNOOOOOOOO!!!" He bucked harder. Because of the healing from having the church dropped on him all those years before, his spine was incredibly sensitive. Now he was laughing, shaking, bucking, and squirming from side to side all at once. "AHhhh!"  
  
"I think you are, though." She was calmly conquering him, both hands now on his spine.  
  
"NOO I'm NOOOOTTT!", he howled. His laughs were now interspersed with hiccups.  
  
She leaned down, kissed the base of his neck, twirling her fingers lightly over him. "Huh?"  
  
He was caught up in a helpless giggling/hiccuping fit, and unable to respond.  
  
Buffy laughed. "Want a break?"  
  
"BREAKK!"  
  
She stilled her hands.  
  
He lay there, panting, hiccuping, and still giggling. "Ok... You're *hic* right. I do breathe..."  
  
"I'm always right."  
  
He rolled slightly sideways so that he could see her. "I noticed." He grinned. "Having fun?"  
  
She got off him, now sitting beside his waist. "Yup. You?"  
  
He laughed quietly. "What do you think?"  
  
"I'd say yeah."  
  
He chuckled. "You'd be right. But don't tell anyone."  
  
"Ok." She climbed off the bed, and retrieved their cokes, brought them back to the bed.  
  
"Thanks." He accepted his coke and gulped half of it. Laughing for an extended period always made his mouth dry. "I needed that."  
  
"I know."  
  
He chuckled, rolling strategically onto his back. Protecting his spine. "Have you ever been in a relationship where the other person knew you were ticklish before?"  
  
"No." She uncapped her coke, took a sip. "No."  
  
"So I'm the first? What about the other Scoobies, 'sides Rupert. I know he knows."  
  
"Mmm... Not really. I mean, we used to tickle eachother, but no one knew, like... SPOTS."  
  
He chuckled. "Weak spots. Everyone has 'em." Took another swig of coke. "What about Red? She's your best friend. Never found a weak spot? Or Harris?"  
  
"Willow knew my ankles were weak, and Xander DID find that high spot on my ribs. But that's it."  
  
Spike laughed. "Nothing like good memories, huh, Slayer?"  
  
"Nothing. I did almost have a hernia when he found it though."  
  
"Kind of like me when you get going, eh?"  
  
"Mm.. More with the kicking and yelling." She laid down next to him. "I'm very proud of you."  
  
"Oh? Why?"  
  
"Because, you didn't even snarl when I told you that XANDER was the one who found that spot way up on my ribs that's ticklish."  
  
He chuckled. "I know. He's... not THAT bad, really." He play growled. "But if you tell him I said that, I'll have to kill you. You understand."  
  
"Oh yeah. I understand. Not jealous at all, huh?"  
  
"Naw. Harris is your friend. I understand that. You love him, he loves you. But it's not the same as with me." He looked at her, taking another drink. "Is this really a break, or is it over?"  
  
She smiled, very comfortable. "Over."  
  
He grinned, slightly disappointed, but he didn't want her to know. "Good. I'm tired. Being tickled like that is an aerobic workout."  
  
She sighed, turned on her side to cuddle to his, one leg resting over his. "We'll resume tickling in a few minutes."  
  
"Thought you said it was over." He nuzzled her gently.  
  
She smiled, moved her head to give him better access. "Yeah. Well. I changed my mind."  
  
He nuzzled again, planting a soft kiss on top of her head. "Any particular reason?"  
  
"Because you like being tickled."  
  
"I do not. Much."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "You're right. You don't like it. I won't do it anymore."  
  
He chuckled. "Okay. You got me. I like it, okay? I've lived over a hundred and thirty years, and no one's ever tickled me like you do. I don't know. I like the way you do it. Lightly, not digging in. Makes it fun."  
  
"I know." She giggled. "I like saying that." She gave him a flirtatious look. "Like the way I do it, huh?"  
  
He chuckled. "Yeah. I've been tickled before, mostly by my sis when I was young, or Dru later on. But I had to be careful around Dru, though."  
  
"How come?"  
  
He held up a hand, made claw fingers. "Her nails. Squirm too much, or the wrong way, and I'm a shish kabob."  
  
She frowned. 'Bitch.'  
  
He chuckled. "She didn't do it on purpose, luv."  
  
She gave him a glare. "I don't care."  
  
He grinned. "I gathered. It was fun, though. When I didn't wind up with scars. But she'd pick the worst times."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
He laughed quietly. "One time, in the middle of WW2, we were in Germany. Cutting down on the Nazi population. We stole a truck, and a uniform for me, and she was supposed to stay down, out of sight, on the seat next to me so that we could get through the checkpoint. Unfortunately, she wanted something to amuse herself while she laid there, so she stuck a hand up my uniform shirt and started tickling my ribs. We barely got through the checkpoint without getting shot."  
  
She laughed. "At least she left your pants alone."  
  
"That time."  
  
Buffy blinked. "Ughhh..."  
  
He chuckled. "Sorry. Couldn't resist adding that. I love it when you make that face."  
  
She made it again, in spades. "Gah... That's so gross. People wreck and die doing that, ya know."  
  
He laughed. "Not what you think, luv. We were talking about tickling, remember. It happens that my waist is sensitive. That's what she was doing. One of her favorite games was 'Let's See How Long It Takes Spikey To Crack'."  
  
She blushed. "Oh..."  
  
He laughed. "Understandable mistake, luv."  
  
She tried to bring down the blush. "Yeah."  
  
He kissed the top of her head again. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed."  
  
She pulled her head back petulantly. "Shut up."  
  
He chuckled again, leaning back on the pillows and closing his eyes. "Have it your way. Not a peep from me."  
  
She frowned. No cuddlies. They were gone. She scooted closer to him. Snuggled down again, waited for a return snuggle.  
  
He slipped his arm around her, keeping his eyes closed. "Long break."  
  
She pouted at him. "You only love me for the tickles. I knew it!"  
  
He chuckled. "I loved you long before you even touched me in a way that wasn't painful, luv. You know that's not it."  
  
She grinned. "I know." She ran a hand down his chest.  
  
He purred, keeping his eyes closed. Nuzzled the top of her head under his chin.  
  
She smiled, scraped a nail across his ribs.  
  
Snorting giggle. 'Here we go again...'  
  
Her fingers found the spot between his 2nd and 3rd rib, dug in gently.  
  
He laughed and tried to roll away from her.  
  
She kept him close, kept tickling him.  
  
It didn't take long before Spike was hysterical again, squirming, laughing happily, even half trying to swat at her hands or tickle her back.  
  
She squirmed when he would hit a spot, twisting and tickling.  
  
Spike was loving this even more when he got a reaction out of her. Tickling back was the one thing that he could never do with Dru. By some twist of fate, the vampiress wasn't ticklish, but with Buffy, whole different story. He continued to half fight back, still laughing and giggling semi helplessly.  
  
She laughed as he caught a very ticklish spot, her hands coming up to defend herself. "Stop!!" she giggled.  
  
He laughed, releasing her to try and escape.  
  
She made a desperate grab for him as he ran off the bed, and ended up doing a very graceless nose-dive off the side of the bed.  
  
Spike skidded to a stop, turned around, and trotted back. "You okay, luv?"  
  
She gave a small gasping breath, mumbled something.  
  
He crouched down next to her. "What, luv?"  
  
She pounced him, kneeling on his chest, pinning his wrists. "I said I got you!" She let his hands go to tickle him mercilessly.  
  
"Ahh! Cheater!!" Spike didn't even try to fight back this time. He knew, even if he got her to stop, there was no way that he could roll over and get back up before she pounced him again.  
  
She slowed her tickling after a few minutes, smiling victoriously over him. Small butt-wiggle of glory. "Did I win?"  
  
He laughed. "Yeah. You win, luv. You always win..." He hiccuped once. "Damn *hic!* hiccups."  
  
Her smile widened, and she leaned down to kiss him fleetingly.  
  
He purred. "Done now?"  
  
"Mmm-hmm."  
  
He sighed. "Whew. Good. I think I'm all tickled out." Gave her a look. "Gonna get off me? Or are we going to stay on the floor all day?"  
  
She laid out fully on top of him. "One, it's night, Sherlock. Two. I'm not on the floor."  
  
"One: day for me. And two: I am on the floor," he said with a chuckle.  
  
She wiggled. "Well, *I'm* comfortable."  
  
He smiled. "You know what? Me too. And don't squirm like that. I'm hypersensitive right now, your shirt tickles."  
  
She bit her lip. "Do you like it?"  
  
"Your shirt? Yes. I love your clothes. You know that. I used to have a collection."  
  
She gave a small laugh, and wiggled off of him. "Come on."  
  
He sat up. "Come on and what?"  
  
She shrugged. "I dunno. But we can't just lay on the floor all night."  
  
He stood up, flopped on the now messy bed. "How about laying on the bed all night?"  
  
"Sounds good." She jumped on it, landing on a belly-flop.  
  
Spike nearly bounced off the bed. "Whoa!!" Upon landing, he bounced experimentally. "Hey. This is fun!"  
  
She laughed, then yawned.  
  
"Tired, luv?"  
  
She smiled. "I think so. I worked for a few hours tonight. And, ya know, packed a picnic, and fought with a vampire, all in two days. And Giles' punching bag won against me." She gave her almost-healed knuckles a glare.  
  
He chuckled. "A nap sounds good to me. All that squirming and laughing wore me out."  
  
She smiled. "You don't have to sleep with me. You've got that whole 'Creature of the Night', thing going on."  
  
He smiled back. "Luv, believe me when I say that I'm exhausted right now." He yawned, proving his point. Snuggled up against her. "Besides, you think I'd pass up an opportunity to sleep with my favorite human heating blanket?"  
  
She gave him a dubious glance. "All right." Buffy returned the snuggle, fitting her head under his chin. Buffy sniffed at Spike's collarbone, liking the way she fitted under him.  
  
"Smell something you like, luv?", the vampire said quietly, half asleep.  
  
She kissed it softly, tasting him. "Just you."  
  
He purred happily. "Tryin' to wake me up?"  
  
She smiled. "Trying to figure out what I want more. Spike or sleep."  
  
He grinned and nuzzled her. "As much as it pains me, I'm voting for sleep. Then, when we're rested, we can do anything you want."  
  
Her eyes lit at the possibilities. "Sleep." She moved her head away from his throat. "Kiss first, then sleep."  
  
He grinned, quoted a movie that Dawn had forced him to watch. "As you wish, luv. As you wish..." He leaned in and kissed her gently, half nuzzling their noses together the whole time.  
  
She kissed him back, through her head ran a piece of the same movie, 'And it was said that there were five great kisses in the world...' She smiled against his lips. 'This blew them all away.' 


	25. Preparations.

Buffy walked to Giles', feeling light and good. So, she thought, it would be a good time to see Giles, and make him talk to her while she worked out at his place. She jogged to his door, ready to give a peppy knock and cute entry line. As she raised her hand to knock, there was... noise. And not... Giles' noise. It was... music noise. She was worried. NO MORE SINGING DEMONS, DAMMIT! She pounded on the door, worried now. "Giles?? Giles??"  
  
The music stopped, and there were two voices from within. The door opened. "Buffy," Giles said happily. "Wonderful to see you. Come in." He gestured for her to enter.  
  
Spike was sitting on a stool, messing with an old acoustic guitar. And there was another guitar leaning against a similar stool next to him.  
  
She sighed out a breath. "Oh. You're... um... Not possessed. Good." She walked in. "Hey."  
  
Spike looked up from messing with the guitar. "Hey, luv," he said with a grin. "Come to listen to us practice?"  
  
Giles shook his head. "Spike, you are the one who wanted to do a duet. Not me."  
  
"Aww. You're the only one I know who plays guitar, Rupert!"  
  
Buffy smiled at their bickering. "You guys are playing together?"  
  
Giles chuckled, then shrugged at Buffy. "What can I do? He needs me."  
  
She smiled. "Yeah... Good luck gettin him to admit it."  
  
Spike grinned and strummed a few bars on his guitar. "A flat. Still off a little." He motioned to the Watcher. "Rupe, help. Gimme a counterpoint."  
  
Giles sighed and took his place, strumming an A to counter Spike's A flat.  
  
Buffy pulled up stool to watch them.  
  
Spike smiled at her, then adjusted the strings on his guitar again. "One more time, Rupert."  
  
Giles strummed at the same time Spike did, making a beautiful counterpoint melody. They played instrumentally for a moment, testing all the cords, then wound it down.  
  
Buffy was thrilled. The music was great.  
  
Spike smiled at her. "Want to hear the song we were rehearsing before you got here? You've heard part of it before."  
  
She was confused. "You haven't sung since-" She stopped. "Ok."  
  
Spike took a deep breath, began playing alone, strumming a slow, slightly sad melody, after the instrumental introduction, he began to sing...  
  
"Right now I feel Just like a leaf on a breeze Who knows where it's blowin'? Who knows where it's goin'? I find myself somewhere I never thought I'd be. I'm going round in circles, yeah Thinkin' bout you and me...."  
  
She looked down slightly.  
  
"And how do I explain it when I don't know what to say? What do I do now? So much has changed."  
  
Paused, took a deep breath, then started the chorus, with Giles playing and singing with him.  
  
"Nothing I have ever known Has made me feel this way. Nothing I have ever seen, Has made me want to stay. Here I am, ready for you. I'm torn and, I'm fallin', I hear my home callin', hey! I've never felt something so strong. Oh no. It's like nothing I've ever known..."  
  
Giles continued to play, and Spike sang alone.  
  
Buffy lifted her head to stare at Spike. Gave a small, super-tiny smile.  
  
"You're the one I'm lookin' for, You're the one I need. You're the one that gives me A reason to believe. Followin' our star, Has lead to where you are. I feel so strong now, This can't be wrong now..."  
  
Her head ducked shyly.  
  
They sang together again.  
  
"Nothing I have ever known Has made me feel this way. Nothing I have ever seen, Has made me want to stay. Here I am, ready for you. I'm torn and, I'm fallin', I hear my home callin', hey! I've never felt something so strong. Oh no. It's like nothing I've ever known, Nothing I've ever known..."  
  
She was playing with her fingers now, his voice washing over her.  
  
Giles's playing trailed off, leaving Spike playing and singing alone for the end.  
  
"Right now I feel, Just like a leaf on a breeze. Who knows where it's blowin'? And who knows Where I'm goin'...."  
  
He played the final cords, and let the song fade, his head bowed and eyes closed.  
  
Sometime during the song, Buffy had stood, and she suddenly smiled. "That was such a great song!"  
  
Spike looked up, his eyes open, and a single tear making it's way down his cheek. "Thanks, luv."  
  
Giles smiled and reached over to pat the vampire on the back.  
  
She smiled at Giles. "You did great, too."  
  
Giles smiled. "Thank you, Buffy. But it was Spike's idea. He got the music, he found my guitar. And he changed the music so that the duet would work."  
  
All the while Giles was talking, Spike had been staring at his guitar, his face taking on a slight pinkish red color.  
  
She gave an impish grin, and reached a hand over to strum gently over the strings of Spike's guitar. "Is that right?"  
  
An embarrassed half nod.  
  
Her hand stroked over his on the guitar, too. "It's very impressive."  
  
Giles chuckled and pulled the vampire into a sideways hug. Spike didn't struggle at all, but now his neck was turning red.  
  
Buffy gave a small laugh, and took Spike's guitar, and leaned it against a near counter. Stood between his legs, and gave him a small kiss.  
  
Spike squirmed a little. "Rupe... Buffy... cut it out..." Now he was beginning to resemble a tomato. "It's nothin' special, really."  
  
Giles chuckled again, and gave Buffy a inquisitive look. Since when did vampires blush?  
  
She shrugged. She had no idea. She semi-sat on his lap while he sat on the stool. "Oh. It... was for me? "  
  
The vampire nodded. "Reminds me of you.... of us.."  
  
Her voice took on a slightly hurt tone. "And it's not special?" Very quietly.  
  
His head popped up." Yes! It's special to me... But I just meant, finding the guitar, helping reformat the music.. That stuff. The song is... very special. I can only play like six songs on the guitar. I'm better at piano."  
  
Giles smiled. "Unfortunately, I don't have a piano."  
  
She nodded. Smiled at two of her favorite men. "I still think it's all something special, ok?"  
  
Spike grinned, the blush diminishing. "I do too, luv."  
  
Giles nodded, putting a hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Actually, we're working on some other songs too. Spike had the idea that we could play some things at Dawn's 'Scoobies only' birthday party next week."  
  
She gave a small gasp and big smile. "Really?"  
  
Spike grinned. "Yeah. I just thought, you know, better than a CD. We're workin' on a bunch of songs, so that we can make a list, and take requests."  
  
She gave him a big hug. "Awww!" She stood off his lap and gave Giles a kiss. "That is so sweet."  
  
Both Brits turned a light shade of pink.  
  
She grinned at both of them.  
  
Spike had enough of being embarrassed. He jumped up, grabbed the Slayer in a bear hug, and spun around a few times.  
  
She laughed, then started to lightly hit at his shoulders. "What are you doing??"  
  
He spun around a couple more times, laughing, then plopped both of them on Giles' couch, with her winding up on top.  
  
Giles just watched them, shaking his head and chuckling to himself.  
  
Now the Slayer's cheeks were pink. "What are you *doing*?" she whispered furiously. She gave him a disbelieving, confused smile.  
  
He chuckled, released her. "Just playing, luv. Good mood and all that."  
  
Giles chuckled again, then got up. "I'm heading up to bed. Spike, please put up the guitars before you leave."  
  
"Okay, Rupe," Spike called after him. Then he looked at Buffy. "Hi."  
  
She blew her hair out of her eyes exasperatedly. "Hi."  
  
He grinned at her, still laying on top of him. "And how was your day?" Playful small talk.  
  
"Well, just fine. How was yours?" She rested her forearms on his chest.  
  
He grinned. "Wonderful. Better, now that you're here." Leaned up and placed a small kiss on the end of her nose.  
  
Small, repressed smile.  
  
"Somethin' wrong, luv? You don't seem in a good mood." He cocked his head slightly. "Did I do something wrong again?"  
  
She shook her head. "No. I'm in a great mood. I just.... feel dumb smiling huge. My face is kinda close to yours."  
  
He nodded. "I noticed..." Leaned into kiss her. She leaned into him, too, letting a smile curve her lips as they touched Spike's. He purred happily, nibbling her bottom lip gently. "*I love you, you know..*", he purred to her. It was nice being able to talk without really needing your mouth.  
  
She mentally smiled. 'I know.'  
  
"*Good.*" He kissed a path down her throat, pausing to nibble and lick the scar he'd left. She shuddered gently, kissed at him, praying she'd hit skin, because her eyes were closed.  
  
His purring increased in volume. Apparently, his forehead was a volume control. He nibbled at her collarbone gently, his hands roaming over her back. She moved her arms to run her hands over him gently.  
  
He purred and pulled back, panting slightly. "Luv?"  
  
It was low, throaty. "Mmm?"  
  
"Do you have any requests for Rupe and I to learn? Or just me. I might feel like serenading you sometime," he said with a small, low chuckle.  
  
"Yeah... it's called Kiss Me Again, by the Demanding Girlfriend."  
  
He chuckled and did as she asked.  
  
-----============================================================  
  
Giles woke up early the next morning, before the sun was up. Went through his usual routine, then headed for the kitchen to make coffee. Not too long ago, he had regarded coffee as a "strange, American custom", but being around caffeine driven teenagers for so long, he'd wound up hooked.  
  
He paused, noticing that the stools and guitars were still out in the living room. 'Thought I told Spike to put those up before...' The thought trailed off as he caught sight of the couple, still on the couch, asleep in eachother's arms.  
  
Buffy was on top of Spike, her face nuzzled against his neck. Spike's cheek was resting on top of her head, and his hands were slightly up her shirt, resting on her back.  
  
Giles smiled, then walked into the kitchen, started the coffee maker, then returned to the living room to consider the couple on the couch.  
  
They hadn't moved since he'd first seen them a moment earlier, and had probably been in that same position all night. Giles sat in his recliner, and watched them sleep. Both of them breathing quietly, deeply, contented smiles on their faces.  
  
'I'm glad Buffy finally has someone who really understands her,' the Watcher thought. 'Who loves her. I'm glad for Spike, too. Whether or not I want to admit it, he's becoming more and more important to me. Part of the family... It's irrational to think that Buffy won't need me anymore with Spike around, but sometimes, I just don't know. She's my daughter..' The word "surrogate" didn't even enter his mind. 'I love her. I just hope she's still going to believe she needs me, even though I know she doesn't. She can stand on her own, more than she knows. She's strong, and her heart.... Spike knows. He sees her. He loves her, almost as much as I do.' The Watcher continued to watch, until he dozed off again.  
  
A while later, Buffy woke slowly. She was slightly confused for a moment, then remembered. A smile curved her lips, and she moved off Spike slowly. Spike's arms unconsciously tightened, not wanting his human hot water bottle to leave. She detangled herself, stretched, and looked around. And found her Watcher in the recliner, a cup of coffee balanced precariously in his hands, about to spill on him. She crossed to him, and pulled it gently out of his fingers.  
  
Giles muttered something incoherent, and twitched, but didn't wake up.  
  
Spike rolled over slightly, clutching a pillow as if it was his Tigger. Snuggled down against the couch cushions, sighed, and relaxed again.  
  
She set the cup of the breakfast bar, and looked out over the room. Smiled warmly. Two of her three greatest loves. All they needed was Xander curled up on the rug. She pulled an afghan off the back of the couch, draped it over Giles. Giles, for his part, just muttered again. Something about a bird house...?  
  
She walked into his bedroom, and pulled the folded blanket off the foot of the bed, came back in the living room, and unfolded it over Spike. The vampire rolled over again. His body wanted to wake up, but he was too relaxed. He purred in his sleep, sensing Buffy's closeness, and cuddled into the blanket until just the top of his head was showing.  
  
She smiled. She wanted breakfast, but didn't want to burn anything, and didn't feel like waking either of them. It left only one choice. She walked to Giles' coat, and pulled out his wallet, and took a ten. She pulled on her shoes and slipped out the door, glad Giles lived in an apartment in the middle of town. Donuts.  
  
========================================================================== ========  
  
She opened the door slowly, edging in sideways, as if that would make less noise. There was still a covered lump of slumbering vampire on the couch, snoring quietly, but the recliner was empty. Giles was sitting at the dining table, reading the morning paper. He looked up, smiled at Buffy, and made a "shhh"ing motion, pointing at Spike.  
  
She nodded, and placed her rather large white box on the table with a flourish. She pointed impressively, and made muscles.  
  
Giles chuckled quietly. "I think we can talk in here, Buffy. Spike sleeps quiet deeply." He chuckled again. "I've never heard of a vampire snoring before. Or breathing at all, for that matter." He kept his voice low, anyway.  
  
She nodded, sat next to him. "I know. He's a funny one. But guess what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Since he's all snoozy, we get eat the creme filled maple topped ones! And *he* doesn't." She grinned hugely, completely happy at the prospect. There were six of that type alone in the box.  
  
The Watcher chuckled. "Let's save him one, and tell him that it was the only one."  
  
She grinned. "Can we DO devious things like that?"  
  
Giles smiled. "I won't tell, if you won't."  
  
She blinked innocently. "Tell what?"  
  
Giles chuckled quietly as he took a donut. "I have no idea."  
  
Around her first bite, she said, "Giles? Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Mmm?" This was said around a mouthful of donut.  
  
"I want... for Dawn's birthday, to... um... fill her room with orange roses. While she's at school, ya know, just... litter the whole place with them... Do you..." She looked at her Watcher, very vulnerable. "Do you think she'd like it?"  
  
Giles smiled, started to answer, then decided to swallow first. "She'd love it, Buffy. You know they're her favorite." He smiled. "You should have seen Spike when he came over last night. He was practically bouncing with excitement over redoing some songs. There was no way I could refuse to help him. He was just.... I don't know."  
  
She grinned. "Spike?" A small pause. "How... how much do you think it would cost to get that many roses?"  
  
Giles smiled. "Leave it to me, Buffy. You just deal with the set up. Oh, and has Spike mentioned that he wants to bake the cake?"  
  
She gave Giles a fearful glance. "He what?"  
  
"He wants to take over my kitchen tomorrow and bake a cake for Dawn."  
  
"Oh my."  
  
Giles cocked his head. "Something wrong?"  
  
"Um.. does... Spike actually, ya know, COOK?" She chewed on her third maple donut.  
  
Giles laughed quietly. "Actually, yes. Quite well. Remember a couple of years ago, when I first started letting him out of the bathtub?"  
  
She remembered taunting him with her jugular. "Yeah."  
  
"Well, I found him once making, and I'm not making this up, spaghetti and meat balls from scratch. And it was delicious!" He chuckled. "After that, we made a deal. I wouldn't put him back in the bathtub if he cooked at least once a day. He had no problem with that. He loves to cook, for some strange reason. A normal vampire, he isn't."  
  
She gasped in shock. "No!!! He's not... normal??"  
  
Giles laughed, then remembered to be quiet. "You mean you haven't noticed?", he asked playfully.  
  
"Well, no... I thought he was your run-of-the-mill, ordinary, boring vampire."  
  
"Insulting your boyfriend, are you?", Giles said with a chuckle. "Actually, he's never been normal. A vampiric demon takes the inherent evilness that's in all humans, and magnifies it. That's how it works. But Spike... When he was human, he was a shy poet without many friends or close relatives. The demon didn't have much to go on, so he had to learn from Druscilla, Angelus, and Darla. Under their instructions, he came up with the railroad spike thing. Which he only did twice, mind you. After that, he mostly laid low, until he developed a craving for killing Slayers. The rest is history." Giles looked at her curiously. "Surely you knew that vampires can not feel love, or any passionate emotion, they don't breathe, even in sleep, and they can not taste human food. Spike's always had too much human in him."  
  
She nodded slowly. "Human with a demon visage. I always... always thought about it the other way. But it... doesn't fit him."  
  
Giles nodded. "The persona he projected around his pack, and other vampires, isn't who he is at all. He told me himself that when Dru and the others weren't around, he'd go right back to writing poetry, and drawing, and learning music. He also said that he likes the idea of living forever for the simple reason that it means that he'll never have to stop trying new things. Learning. He has a thirst more for knowledge than blood."  
  
She frowned at Giles. "It feels like... the more I get to know him, the more I know I don't know him at all." She looked at him confused. "But he knows everything about me."  
  
Giles nodded. "I've been getting that impression as well. I don't ever remember telling him that I play the guitar, and yet, he not only knew, he knew that I can't play in the key of C. He's just very observant. Sometimes I wish I had known him when he was human. He would have made a fantastic Watcher."  
  
She shook her head, a little distraught. She started to unconsciously shred a powdered donut. "That's fine for you. You can be friends... but we're... supposed to..."  
  
"If there's something you want to know about him, why don't you ask? I'm sure he'd tell you anything."  
  
She shrugged. "'Tell me everything about yourself that I don't know.' Real great. I don't even wanna know how long that list is." Her eyes turned more serious. "How can I... not know about him, and be in love with him?"  
  
"You're in love with the man, not the history, Buffy. And he loves you. I don't know about you, but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to stop liking him. And believe me, I've tried."  
  
She pouted, now thoroughly disconcerted. "You think you're the only one?"  
  
The Watcher chuckled, and patted his Slayer on the back. "I know. I've been watching you try to hate him for the better part of three years now."  
  
She tossed him a baleful look. "I was succeeding quite well, thank you."  
  
"Until...?"  
  
She sighed. "Riley. He... Showed me something I didn't want to see about him." She shook her head to clear it. "Anyway. Later... he said, that he was sorry. He had just... wanted me to see. And he was sorry that it hurt."  
  
"And he meant it. And that surprised you."  
  
"I mean, yeah! I still hated him, cuz... Cuz I did, but after that... I watched him."  
  
"Watched him?"  
  
"Kept a closer eye on him, kicked his ass a few times..." She shrugged. "He started pestering me on patrol."  
  
Giles was really interested. This was a new story. "About anything in particular?"  
  
She sighed. "Anything! Pick something. My swing was low, my eyes were puffy, my outfit didn't match, my remarks to the vampires were lower than a toddler's IQ..." She smiled at the memory. "I told him I just wanted to make sure he'd understand them."  
  
Giles chuckled. "I bet that went over well, with a vampire who practically has every word in the English language memorized."  
  
She grumbled, "Yeah... he makes me feel like a retard. He can say what he's feeling so easily, and with like... eight syllable words, and I'm all.. 'Darrrr.... I like blue... It's a pretty color'."  
  
Giles chuckled. "If it helps, he does the same thing to me. And if you tell that to anyone, and I mean ANYONE, I will tickle you to within a inch of your life," he said playfully, poking between her ribs.  
  
She jerked and giggled, then scooted her chair closer to his, so she could lay her head on his shoulder. "You'll always be the smartest, kindest man I've ever met."  
  
He gave her a sideways hug. "Thank you. And once again, don't tell anyone."  
  
"Tell them what?"  
  
"That Ripper's lost his edge," came a voice from the living room. "He's as much of a softy as me."  
  
Giles shook his head. "Either go back to sleep, Spike, or suffer the consequences."  
  
Loud, faked snoring.  
  
Buffy laughed. "Spikey... morning, my blondie-bear!" She said in her very best Harmony voice. growl that sounded like a trapped, pissed off bear sounded from the living room.  
  
Giles laughed out loud, nearly dropping his donut.  
  
She continued. "Doesn't my Spikey-Wikey wanna know what I saaaaaved for my blondie-bear?"  
  
The growl came again, sounding pained this time. And Giles did drop his donut. Buffy was waaay too good at Harmony's voice.  
  
She tutted, picked up the donut and went to prop her hip against the back of the couch. "Blondie-bear... Ask mommy what she got for you??"  
  
Growling got louder, but it was slightly shaky. He was trying to growl, and not laugh at the same time.  
  
She shook her head with every word, like she was shaking it in a baby's face. "Shpiiiiiikkkkkeeey. Guess what your precious has for her wittle baby bwondie-bear?"  
  
The vampire snorted, and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in the cushions. "*A nice big chunk of your ass for me to kick?*", he asked in vampiric.  
  
She dropped the voice a moment. "Giles... he's threatening me with violence." Switched back to Harmony-Whore voice. "When all I bwought for my wittle Spikey was a donut. But he can't have it now. No he can't."  
  
Giles chuckled. "He doesn't mean it, you know."  
  
"Donut?", the vampire said, speaking into the pillow, knowing that if he rolled over, he wouldn't be able to hold in the laughter any longer. "What kind of donut.... Pookie?"  
  
She made a totally horrified face. "Ew! Stop that!"  
  
He chuckled into the pillow. "Ok, sweetie pie."  
  
She said thunderingly, "One more and the maple-frosted, creme-filled donut gets it." She winked at Giles. "The ONLY one."  
  
He rolled over. "Maple... cream- filled... Buffy, I'm sorry.... Please?" Pathetic, puppy face.  
  
She smiled. God, she loved power. "I don't know, *pookie bear*. Sweeting, sweetheart, honey, darling, pet, baby..."  
  
Spike started shaking as if he was either in pain, or about to explode. "Slayer..." Warning tone.  
  
She held the donut aloft, to her mouth. Deep sigh. "To eat, or not to eat..." She made a mad dash to hide behind Giles.  
  
Spike rolled up and chased her into the dining room. "Gimme the donut, Slayer!"  
  
Giles just laughed, not really knowing who to help.  
  
She grabbed Giles' shoulder with one hand. "Giles!!! Make him quit!"  
  
Spike was play growling, trying to fake her into running the wrong way around the table.  
  
Giles stood up. "I will protect you, Buffy. And the innocent donut," he said, melodramatically.  
  
She stuck her tongue out at Spike from behind her stalwart standing fast.  
  
Spike snarled, taking his best "Big Bad" stance. "The donut doesn't leave here alive, Slayer." He growled, and half jumped toward them.  
  
She squeaked, jumping back. Then she gave a 'resolve face'. "Stay back, or I shove it in my mouth... whole."  
  
Spike froze. "Come on, luv. We can talk this out."  
  
Giles chuckled.  
  
She arched a brow dangerously. "Can we?? Can we REALLY Spike??"  
  
He dropped to his knees. "Yes. Yes, we can always talk through it. Please, luv. Be reasonable."  
  
She gave the donut a hungry look, sniffed it. "Oh... the maple." Turned the end to him so he could see the excess creme sticking out. "Ohhh... the creme..."  
  
"Luv... Buffy, please..." He licked his lips. "I'll do anything..."  
  
Now. THAT was interesting. "Anything?"  
  
"Anything," he replied, KNOWING he was going to regret it.  
  
"Well, I'm sure that Xander and Giles will be thrilled to hear about how you plan to take them BOTH to dinner, and to do... man-bonding things. And I'm really feeling like having breakfast in bed on Sunday."  
  
Spike winced. Was a donut worth this? "Uh.... bugger. Alright."  
  
She did a happy dance behind Giles. "Ok. Close your eyes."  
  
He did as she asked.  
  
She walked up to him, tapped a finger against his chin. 'Open...'  
  
Eyes opened.  
  
She sighed. "Your mouth, silly. Nevermind." She kept her eyes on his, and held the donut to his lips.  
  
He latched on like a starving pit bull. Sucking at the creme hole. A happy purr.  
  
The purr amused her, but the sucking was just gross. She let go, knowing he had it FIRMLY in his jaws.  
  
He took the now hollow donut out of his mouth, and quickly ate the rest of it. He eyed Buffy. "You... are so dead." He charged. Chasing her into the living room and pinning her to the couch, tickling her ribs. "Apologize for freaking me out by imitating Harmony."  
  
She squirmed beneath him. "GILES!!!!!" She was calling desperately for her father, her Watcher, her PROTECTOR, damn it! Where WAS he?  
  
Giles walked in. "Yes?"  
  
She whimpered, looked at him, pleading. "He-help *giggle* me!"  
  
Giles chuckled, leaning against the doorway. "And how do you propose I do that?"  
  
She squirmed, patting at Spike with pathetically weak blows. "I dunno!!!! PLLLLLEAAAAAAASE????"  
  
Giles pounced, tickling Spike's ribs, causing the vampire to instantly cave to the couch in hysterics.  
  
Buffy squirmed out from under his twisting frame. Gave Giles a quick smile. "Thanks."  
  
Giles released, smiling at Buffy. "Anytime. I wonder if that would work with any vampire." He considered the giggling specimen on the couch. "Hmm. Probably not."  
  
She smiled, then sat on the couch, to poke Spike's shoulder. "Hey."  
  
"Fine. Don't hear my apology."  
  
He looked at her. "I'm listening."  
  
Deep sigh. "I'm sorry I gave you a wiggins by imitating Harmony."  
  
He smiled. "Thanks, luv. Nice to know you care." He made a face. "You do that waaaay to well, you know. I thought I was having a nightmare for a moment."  
  
Giles chuckled and sat in his recliner.  
  
She snuggled against his shoulder, and smiled at Giles. "You're welcome. Ya know, for not eating your donut," she said to Spike. With a very tiny quirk of the lips to Giles, she continued, "Those are my favorites, and you just.. sucked it down."  
  
Irrational wave of guilt. Damn soul. "Sorry, luv. Next time I'm out, I'll get you a whole box of just those kind, and I won't eat one."  
  
Damn. Reverse guilt. "It's ok. Me and Giles had a nice chat over the glazed ones."  
  
Spike nuzzled her. "Oh. Alright. Thanks for saving it for me."  
  
Giles winked at Buffy. "It was nothing, really."  
  
"Yeah. No big."  
  
Spike nuzzled her again. "Good." He scratched at his ribs. "Bloody. Rupert, next time, be gentle. I think you bruised me!"  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you were so sensitive."  
  
She smiled at both of them, and held Spike's hand. She smoothed her thumb over the back of his hand and glanced down at it. Noticed for the first time. "Spike?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Why are your knuckles bruised?"  
  
He shrugged. "Hit my punching bag too hard."  
  
She scootched a few inches away to look in his eyes. 'Really? You weren't fighting?'  
  
'Actually, yeah. Bunch of vamps cornered me outside of the crypt last night. When I was headed to Rupert's. They roughed me up a bit, and nearly broke my guitar. So I dusted 'em. Nothing big.'  
  
She tried to not frown but a small line was between her eyebrows. 'Ok.' 


	26. Regrets?

"...See that girl, Watch that scene, Diggin' the dancing queen... Diggin' the dancing queen...", Spike and Giles finished their last request song from Dawn. The party had been going for about three hours, and it was getting late, time for presents and cake.  
  
Buffy smiled at Dawn's enraptured face. Every girl dreamed of having that song, sang to them, on THE most important of teenage birthdays. She applauded with the rest of the Scoobies and left to grab the cake and candles while Dawn hugged Spike and Giles.  
  
Dawn squealed, trying to hug Spike and Giles at the same time. "OH MY GOD! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!"  
  
Spike laughed as the Key threw her arms around him, knocking him onto the couch. "Easy, Lil' Bit!"  
  
She gave him a glowing smile, then got off him to do the same to Giles, only softer. "Thank you so much, " she whispered, her eyes kinda wet.  
  
Giles squeezed her fondly. "It was nothing. It was all Spike's idea, after all."  
  
Spike chuckled. "I had to do something, after I forgot to get you a present..."  
  
Her jaw dropped. "You FORGOT?"  
  
He laughed, then pulled a package out from under his coat. "Naw. Just wanted to see what you'd do." The present was wrapped neatly in shiny purple paper, with an origami rhino taped to it instead of a bow. "Here, Bit."  
  
She went to reach for it, but the lights dimmed, and Buffy said, "I SO do not even think so, Dawn." She pouted, but smiled as the lit cake and her sister came into view, and Buffy started singing.  
  
Spike set the package on the coffee table with the others. "Your sis is right, Niblet. Cake first. Then presents." He and the others joined in the singing. Spike felt a little foolish, but it was for Dawn, so he ignored it.  
  
As the last note was sung, Dawn looked around, and saw all she wished for. But she closed her eyes, made a wish, and blew hard on the candles.  
  
Spike grinned and settled back.  
  
"What'd you wish for, Dawn?", Xander asked, settling down in his chair, close, but not touching Anya's chair.  
  
She smiled. "I can't TELL you, Xander." She slanted her eyes at Spike. "Lipgloss. Lots of yummy flavored lip gloss."  
  
"Strike one," the vampire said.  
  
Buffy was glad of the low light, hoping she wasn't blushing and started to cut the cake.  
  
Dawn protested. "It's my birthday. There can BE no strikes. I'm strike -free."  
  
"Then you start with two tomorrow."  
  
She gave her sister an entreating glance. "Tell him he's ruining my birthday. Make him stop."  
  
Xander looked back and forth between Dawn and Spike. "Strikes?"  
  
"Spike. Help hand out cake, and stop terrorizing Dawn."  
  
"Yes, honey." The vampire handed Giles a piece of cake, then turned back to get another one.  
  
"I seem to have been ignored," Xander said. "So I say again: Strikes?"  
  
Buffy gave him a smile. "Um... we have three opportunities to aggravate eachother before a tickle torture starts. Ice cream?"  
  
Xander laughed. "Sounds fair. Keeps you from annoying Spike, huh?"  
  
Spike stared at Buffy. 'Tell him, and I hurt you.' Unfortunately, Dawn couldn't hear his mental message.  
  
"Not really. No. It's fun, cuz he's like, super-ticklish, too." Dawn smiled benignly and took a bite of her cake.  
  
Xander stared at the vampire, who was trying to sink into the cushions. "Spike? Mr. I'm A Big Scary Vampire is TICKLISH?" He laughed. "Oh, that is too good." He playfully reached toward Spike, who moved to the other end of the couch, closer to Giles and Dawn, letting out a sound that was a cross between a play growl and a real one.  
  
Well, shit. Buffy said loudly, "No tickling without strikes, or you're in on the deal. And... it's present time."  
  
Dawn squealed, and sat on the floor by the coffee table. "Loot, loot, loot!"  
  
Xander nodded. "Fair enough. God knows I don't want in on this game." He looked at Dawn as Spike relaxed again. "Who's are you gonna open first, Dawnie?"  
  
She gave him a smile. "Yours."  
  
Xander grinned. "Go ahead, then. The one with the blue paper. I made it myself. It kind of goes with something I have to go get out of the car." He got up and headed outside.  
  
She unwrapped the blue package, and looked at the rack in front of her with slight confusion. Buffy leaned forward and turned it the right way. "Oh!!!!! HOW COOL!!!!! MY OWN SWORD RACK!!!!"  
  
Xander stuck his head in. "Someone come give me a hand, the stupid dolly's stuck on the stairs."  
  
Spike waved off Buffy's attempt to get up. He was going to be good tonight if it killed him. He got up and went to help Xander.  
  
Dawn was stroking the finished cherry wood, the gleam impressing her as much as the softness of the finish.  
  
Buffy gave a slightly confused, concerned look. "Um... really, I can.. help..." she trailed off as they disappeared out the door. She finally sighed and relaxed against the couch. Her eye caught Dawn's. An effort. They both saw it, and smiled.  
  
Spike backed through the door. "Watch it, Harris! Don't roll over my foot!"  
  
"Sorry. I can't see where I'm going, you're supposed to be steering!"  
  
"Backwards!?", the vampire said, but he was smiling, not even half as angry as he sounded.  
  
"Yes! Backwards," Xander added, coming through the door pushing the dolly. "Unless you want to turn around and let me run you over!" Playful tone of voice.  
  
All four girls, and Giles smiled. Dawn squirmed. "What is it, what is it?"  
  
They rolled the dolly over to in front of Dawn, and Xander removed the cover over the object. "Ta da! It matches Buffy's."  
  
"The family that slays together, stays together," Spike added, chuckling. To his surprise, everyone laughed at his joke. Even Xander.  
  
Dawn was on her knees, running her fingers over the intricate carvings of the weapons chest in awe. She slid the lid open to reveal a gleaming sword. The first for her rack. She picked it up, swung it experimentally. She set it down on the rack with care and respect. Then promptly swung herself in Xander's arms. "I LOVE IT!!! Thank you so much!!!"  
  
Xander laughed and gave the youngest Summers a tight hug. "You're welcome, Dawnie." He rubbed his ribs. "Whoo. Getting your sister's strength already? Spike'd better watch his back."  
  
Spike chuckled. "Uh huh. Yeah, right." He settled back on the couch.  
  
Dawn smiled and sat back down, arranging everything neatly before, "Next!"  
  
Giles smiled. "Who's are you going to open next, Dawn?"  
  
Her grin couldn't get bigger. "Mmm... Yours."  
  
Giles pointed to a large package in gold paper. "That's it."  
  
Dawn grabbed it, almost dropped it, then more carefully slid it over to her spot. "Ok..." She started to unwrap it carefully, aware of the eyes on her, then gave up, shredding it. She blinked. "Books." Fighting her wave of disappointment, she read the titles. "Vampire Theories, the Watcher's Guide, 101." Interesting... Not half as bad as she thought. "And... 'Fighting Techniques: Martial Arts for the Intermediate'. Sweet! I can train!!" She picked up the book to hug, then saw the shirt. The baby blue angora sweater she hadn't told anyone she wanted. She laid a hand toward it tentatively, afraid it'd vanish if she blinked.  
  
Giles smiled. "I saw you looking at that when we were at the mall the other day..." He trailed off with a shrug.  
  
She abandoned her 'almost touching' to give Giles a huge hug. She decided to open the rest of the presents from her spot on his lap. The process went on, a very tentative Willow giving Dawn a necklace that Tara had worn. Dawn held it in her hand, and her bottom lip trembled. Her fingers closed around it, and she gave Willow a small smile. "I love it."  
  
Willow shrugged. "She- T- she would have... wanted it for you." The ex- witch said all this to Dawn's nose, her eyes afraid to go higher.  
  
Dawn reached across the couch to touch Willow's hand. A small gesture, but filled with understanding, forgiveness, and caring. Spike stood up, walking to behind Willow's chair and gently placing his hands on her shoulders. "S'ok, Red. We all miss her." He squeezed her shoulders gently, blinking back his own tears.  
  
Giles cleaned his glasses, and Xander sniffed, trying to make it seem like he had allergies and exaggerating a sneeze.  
  
Buffy's eyes clouded, but she watched with pride the way her sister had grown in grace. Anya broke the slight tension saying, "I wanted to give you a coupon for the Magic Box. But Xander said that was rude." She sighed. "So." Anya handed her a clothes box, wrapped in white paper with pink, yellow and purple ribbons.  
  
Dawn smiled, and took it, saving the bow, because she thought it was pretty. She lifted the lid off the box, and laughed. She looked at her sister. "Camel pants."  
  
Buffy laughed, too, as Anya explained. "Your sister. She whines about you taking those pants. So I thought, I can get Dawn this present AND stop Buffy's whining." She gave a proud smile at her own practicality.  
  
Spike chuckled, and settled back on the couch next to Giles. "Open your sister's next, Bit," he said with a grin at Buffy.  
  
Dawn arched her brow, mimicking her sister so well. "Yeah? And what did Buffy get me?"  
  
Buffy picked up something, wrapped in a tissue-paper cylinder, handed it to Dawn.  
  
Dawn frowned, and peeked at the top. An orange rose. She smiled at her sister. "I love it."  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Well, you might wanna get a vase for it. I think it'd look pretty in that blue one in your room."  
  
Giles couldn't hide his smile. And Spike was grinning like a cat that just ate the canary. "Go on, Bit. Get the vase. We'll wait down here."  
  
Dawn gave them all suspicious looks as she went slowly up the stairs. She kept sending them glances over her shoulder. She finally reached her door and took a deep breath, ready for whatever joke they were playing on her. She opened the door, and the rose in her hand dropped to the floor. To join the seemingly hundreds of other roses littering her room.  
  
Buffy had walked up the stairs behind her. She bit her lip. "Do... um... Do you like it?"  
  
Spike followed Buffy up, leaving the others downstairs. He leaned against the wall, watching the sisters.  
  
Dawn gave Buffy a teary look, and pointed in her room. There were candles, here and there, lit, but the room glowed a soft pink-orange from all the roses. Covering her bed, her floor, her desks, her chairs, her shelves. Finally, Dawn wrapped her arms around Buffy. She swallowed hard and said, "Why?"  
  
Buffy shrugged in the hug, squeezing Dawn back. "Because you like them. Because it's your sweet sixteen, because Mom would have wanted me too. Because you're my sister, and I love you."  
  
Dawn gave her a brilliant smile, and pulled away to walk in the room. She tossed herself backwards onto the bed, and from her position on her back, looked all around, sighing.  
  
Spike grinned at Buffy, wiping at his eyes. He turned and began walking back downstairs, intending to leave them alone.  
  
Dawn called from the bed, "Spike!"  
  
He paused, called back, "Yeah?"  
  
She waved him in the room, patting on her bed of roses.  
  
He came back in, carefully moving the roses out of the way before sitting down. He held out a present. "I thought I'd bring you this, you didn't open it yet." It was his present, with the origami rhino. "It's nothing compared to what your sister's done here, though." He smiled at Buffy. "Although my car's gonna smell like flowers for weeks, now."  
  
She smiled, set his present in her lap. "Lay down first. It's ok to lay on them. It helps." She coaxed him into laying down beside her, on his back.  
  
He glanced at her. "Helps with what?" Closed his eyes, liking the feel of the flowers.  
  
"Now breathe in." She inhaled deeply.  
  
He inhaled, feeling lost in the scent of the roses. His sensitive vampire sense of smell was nearly overloaded. He let out a quiet purr, keeping his eyes closed.  
  
Buffy watched from the doorway, smiling, wondering what her sister was going to say.  
  
Dawn surprised her and Spike both by saying, "I think this is what heaven smells like. Where Mom is."  
  
Buffy blinked back sudden tears, and she said, "It is, Dawnie. Heaven smells just like this."  
  
Spike sniffled, keeping his eyes closed. He rolled over, burying his face in the flowers. His shoulders shook, and he tried to imagine what it was like for Joyce. If she was watching them. He was sure she was. Somehow, that didn't stop the tears.  
  
Dawn curled to his side, crying now, too.  
  
Spike slipped an arm around Dawn, pulling her closer, not even trying to hide his tears.  
  
Buffy stood, her arms wrapped around herself, tears streaming silently as she watched them.  
  
He looked up, and motioned for Buffy to join them, holding an arm out, needing her to be close to him. No words were needed.  
  
She walked in, unmindful of the roses, and into his free arm.  
  
Spike held both the Summers women close, crying with them. After awhile, the tears stopped, and the three of them just laid on the bed, cuddled close together with Spike in the middle. He broke the silence. "I'm in a Summers sandwich," he muttered.  
  
Buffy leaned in to nip his shoulder. "Good filling."  
  
Dawn 'Ewww-ed' appropriately. She sat up. "Mom's watching us, right, Buffy?"  
  
Buffy sat up too, looked straight in her sister's eyes and said, "She always has been."  
  
Dawn nodded, accepting this, and turned her eyes to the package in her lap. "I wanna go back downstairs, finish with the presents."  
  
Spike sat up. "Good idea, Bit." He looked at Buffy. 'Strike two for the bite, Slayer.'  
  
She smiled slowly as Dawn got up and started downstairs. "Come on, you guys."  
  
Buffy nodded. "We'll be right there." As she heard Dawn tromp down the stairs, Buffy held the smile and said softly, "What kind of torture?"  
  
"What do you think? I've got to get you back." He grinned and gave her a sideways hug. "Besides, it's more fun, and less chance of breaking a rule, right?" He nipped at her ear playfully.  
  
Her eyes drifted shut. "Not much for rules these days."  
  
He nibbled her earlobe. 'But that's the BIG rule, luv. Not till we're ready, remember?'  
  
She sighed and gave a big smile. "Right." Kissed him softly, quickly, and stood. "Come on... Dawn wants to unwrap your present."  
  
He gave her a vulnerable look. "Are you sure she'll like it?" He followed her to the stairs.  
  
She began to trudge down them. "Of course she will. I'll have the medical tape ready for broken ribs from hugging." She turned into the living room to smile at Dawn, and arch her brows, waiting for the savage tearing of the paper to begin.  
  
He chuckled and followed. "We're here, Bit. You can open it now." He flopped on the couch next to Giles again.  
  
Dawn carefully, slowly, pulled the origami rhino off, and set it aside. She began the tearing. In about three seconds she held a pink rhino aloft. "AWWWW! It's PINK! And it's a RHINO!" She pulled it close to hug, then gasped, gently touched the necklace hanging on the rhino. "Oh my God." Her eyes flew to Spike's. "Oh my God," she repeated.  
  
He looked away shyly, developing a sudden fascination with the coffee table.  
  
She unhooked it, and stood, walking to Spike, and turned around. He looked up, accepted the necklace, and put it on her, then looked back at the coffee table again.  
  
She gave a huge smile and gave him an aggressive bear hug. Squealed incoherently.  
  
He laughed and tipped over, with Dawn winding up on top of him. "Easy, Bit!", he chuckled.  
  
She grinned down at him. "Thank you." She gave him a quick kiss. "I love it," she continued, fingering it. "It's-" she turned the charm part of the necklace over, squinted at the to her upside down writing.  
  
Spike grinned. "It says, 'To my Lil' Bit'," he said helpfully.  
  
She squealed again, smiling exuberantly. She stood, offering him a hand. All the while, she was squealing at the general party, "Opals! In silver!!!! For ME!"  
  
Anya and Willow gave happy smiles, and Buffy tossed Spike a mental, 'Um... told you, much?'  
  
He took it and sat up. "It's nothing, really, Bit. I just thought you'd like it..." He was on the verge of blushing again. How he had suddenly developed the ability to do that was beyond him. 'Yeah, you were right. I know you love hearing that,' he said mentally to Buffy.  
  
She smirked. 'Oh, but I do...'  
  
"I love it!" Dawn was ecstatic. This was THE birthday of birthday's, and it had NOT disappointed.  
  
Spike chuckled. "I noticed," he said, responding to both Buffy's unspoken words and Dawns excited exclamations at the same time.  
  
Buffy noted the tired faces in the crowd and said, "Well, Birthday Lady, I hate to ruin your fun... but I happen to remember that SOMEONE had a breakfast date with SOMEONE'S family..."  
  
Dawn's jaw dropped. "Oh my gosh. I totally forgot. I have less than.... eight hours before his family is here to get me!!"  
  
Spike and Xander both snorted, then tried to hide it.  
  
Dawn glared at them both. "All right. Enough. He is a NICE boy. He's kind, and he opens doors, and he pays for dates, and he HAS A PULSE! What MORE do you two want from him??"  
  
Spike spoke for both of them. "We don't want him to take away our adopted little sister." Xander nodded.  
  
She winced at their obvious- to her- mental handicap. "He doesn't wanna be my brother, ok?"  
  
"We know that, Dawn," Xander said. "But we feel like he's taking all our time with you. Right?"  
  
It was Spike's turn to nod.  
  
Ok... it was point time. "Ok. I'll stop seeing him." As soon as she saw relief flash over their faces, she continued, "When you stop spending all OUR time with my sister. And YOU stop googling Anya, and only do things with me."  
  
Spike and Xander looked at eachother, knowing when they were beat. "You win, Bit," Spike said.  
  
"Yeah. Ok. We get it."  
  
Spike laid down across the couch, almost putting his feet in Giles' lap. "Just try not to get so caught up in your life that you forget us, ok, Bit?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Right. I could possibly forget the biggest pains in my butt since Buffy."  
  
"Hey!" The inevitable protest came.  
  
"Strike three," Spike said. "Right, Buffy?"  
  
"Tomorrow," she reminded him. "It's her birthday. And pooling points is not fair. All you have to do is irritate me twice and Dawn once and we've got you."  
  
His eyes got big. "Uh, what strike AM I on?"  
  
Buffy shrugged, but Dawn said, "You're going on two for me."  
  
He balked. "Huh? Last time you said one."  
  
"And then you started ripping on Andrew! 'Oh, bit... I'm losin' you,'" she mocked in a British accent.  
  
"..grrrrrrr...." Knowing that was probably three, and he did it anyway.  
  
She pointed a finger at him. "You're on my list, boy. Now scamper home. I need beauty sleep."  
  
Spike chuckled. "I'm on a list, luv," he said to Buffy. "Isn't that interesting?"  
  
Buffy sighed, "Yes it is. But seriously. No tickle fights tonight."  
  
Spike grinned. "Hear that, Bit? I'm safe." He stood. "Hey, I know I haven't done it in awhile, but would you like me to tuck you in tonight? A little quality time to make up for your dates lately?"  
  
Dawn smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him up the stairs. "Night, everyone! Thank you so much for everything!!!"  
  
He allowed her to tug him up the stairs, waving to Buffy and the others.  
  
Buffy smiled and started ushering people out the door.  
  
Meanwhile, upstairs....  
  
Spike sat on Dawn's bed, waiting for her to finish getting ready.  
  
She came back out from the bathroom, her Hello Kitty jamma pants in place, along with a black tank top. She shuffled through the roses and smiled at Spike.  
  
He smiled back, carefully moving the roses so that they were piled on the end of the bed, and folding back the comforter and sheets. "Want a song tonight? Or a glass of water?" The routine hadn't changed from when Buffy was gone.  
  
Buffy stood to the side of the door frame, knowing neither one of them could see her. Heard her sister respond, "Both."  
  
He nodded, and got her water in her Scooby-Doo glass from the bathroom. "Want me to do "Stay Awake" this time?"  
  
Dawn slid in between her sheets, and took the glass, sipping at it. "Yeah."  
  
He nodded, closed his eyes, started humming the instrumental part, clearly seeing Joyce singing it to him in his memory.  
  
"Stay awake, Don't rest your head, Don't lie down Upon your bed, While the moon drifts In the sky Stay awake, Don't close your eyes.." Pause for breath.  
  
Buffy smiled softly from her spot by the door, and Dawn set her glass down on her nightstand, laid her head down on the pillow to watch Spike sing.  
  
"Though the world is Fast asleep, Though your pillow's Soft and deep, You're not sleepy As you seem, Stay awake, Don't nod and dream...  
  
Stay awake, Don't nod... And... Dream...."  
  
He trailed off the end of the song, pulling the sheets and comforter up around her and kissing her forehead softly. "Night, Bit. I love you."  
  
Her eyes were drooping heavily, and she smiled sleepily at him. "I love you, too..." It took all her strength to stay awake to question, "Spike?"  
  
"Yeah, Bit?"  
  
Her eyes were closed and she finished softly, "I'm glad Buffy loves you, too..."  
  
He smiled, said softly, "So am I, Bit. So am I." He turned and headed for the door. 'Hope I didn't keep you waiting, luv,' he said mentally, having caught Buffy's scent quite some time before.  
  
She had the grace to be slightly shamed. 'Sorry.'  
  
He grinned at her as he exited Dawn's room and closed the door. 'Don't be. I don't mind.' Put an arm around the Slayer's shoulders and lead her to the stairs.  
  
She walked downstairs with him, one hand moved up to grab the one on her shoulder. "Everybody left," she said softly.  
  
He nodded as they entered the living room. "Yeah. I know. Want me to leave, too?"  
  
She smiled. "You don't have to."  
  
He grinned, settled on the couch. "Stay down here with me, then?"  
  
She sat beside him. "Yup." She smiled, her head on his shoulder. "She had a good birthday."  
  
He smiled. "I gathered." Nuzzled her gently. "I did my best to be a good puppy."  
  
She arched her neck, giving him better access. "I saw. I was very proud of you."  
  
He grinned, puffed up slightly. "Really? Proud of me?" Nuzzled her again, sniffing around in her hair.  
  
One hand drifted to the back of his neck, serving to hold him by her neck, her fingers playing in the hair at the base of his neck. "Very, very proud of you."  
  
He took her hint, and began kissing her neck. 'I was good?', he thought at her playfully.  
  
She laughed. "You were always good." Her own eyes went wide at her innuendo.  
  
He chuckled throatily, and nibbled her earlobe.  
  
She turned slightly, to run her hands over his chest, placed a soft kiss above his collarbone. He purred loudly, and began nibbling his way down the side of her neck.  
  
She smiled, running her fingers through his hair.  
  
'I love it when you do that,' he said mentally, his mouth continuing to play with her neck, pausing to pay special attention to his claim mark.  
  
She did it again, shuddering as he hit his claim, and she tilted her head to nip at his earlobe.  
  
His purring got louder. 'No surprise I'm purring. Petting me like a big cat,' he said, referencing her stroking of his hair. He moaned when her teeth found that spot on his earlobe. He remembered well the day she'd discovered that spot. It had been when she was invisible...  
  
She did too, so while her fingers curled in his hair, her mouth sucked his earlobe softly, then nipped it, finishing by licking at it softly, moving down his neck to her claim. His whole body shuddered when she hit the sensitive spot of her claim, a intense wave of pleasure washed over him, and he let out a deep purring moan. 'God, luv. Take it easy... Wow...'  
  
She fit her mouth to the claim, just as it had been when she first took him. Bit down gently.  
  
His body went limp, caving to the couch with her on top of him. He moaned again, her touches sending chills through him. "*Oh God... Buffy... I love you.... Oh...*" This was followed by incoherent babbling in vampiric.  
  
Her senses were humming, and his words flew at her. She bit again, moving her hands from his hair to his earlobes, moving softly over them, almost tugging, but not quite.  
  
The babbling sped up, the only words that she was catching were her name, and "*love you love you love you*" over and over. Spike was in heaven. His body unable to move, paralyzed with pleasure.  
  
She pulled back, softly panting. Desire was written on her face, in her body. "I love you..."  
  
His eyes were open and on hers. "Buffy... I love you too..." He ran a hand over her back, the other one tangling in her hair. "What do you want me to do?", he asked, sensing her desire, trying to control his own. What she said next would determine what happened. He wouldn't make the decision.  
  
She searched his eyes, hoping for an answer. She knew there wouldn't be one.  
  
He was scared. Didn't want to make the same mistake twice. Watched her, his hand continuing to play in her hair.  
  
She closed her eyes, leaning her head into his hand. "I love you," she repeated. She couldn't do this with her eyes open. Not wouldn't. Couldn't. "But..." She said the last thing she wanted, but the only thing to do. "I think... I think I want you to go home."  
  
He nodded. "It would be for the best, I think." A tear came to his eye, and he attempted to blink it back unsuccessfully.  
  
She forced her eyes open. Wiped at the tear with one finger, touched it to her lips. "I don't know what would hurt worse," she said softly. "Regretting being with you, or sending you home."  
  
"You would.... regret being with me? Even now? After everything we've done for eachother, after... everything?" Another tear came unbidden.  
  
She touched it, too. "Now? On the... couch? With Dawn asleep upstairs?"  
  
Gave a rueful grin. "We could go upstairs. Except that I doubt I can walk very far at the moment. At least, not without doing a duck impression."  
  
She gave a soft smile. Touched her lips to his. "We're not quiet, Spike. Even when we try to be. That's the last thing I want Dawn to see."  
  
He chuckled slightly. "Or hear. Yeah. I get it. But I'm serious about not being able to walk. I'll just sleep on the couch tonight." He grinned at her. "You have quite the potent effect, Slayer."  
  
Buffy physically restrained herself from doing something very naughty with her hips. "You, too."  
  
He chuckled again. "So, are you going to go to bed, or sit on me all night?"  
  
She moved off him, then leaned over him to grab the blanket across the back of the couch. He helped her lay the blanket over him. "Slayer?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Joyce would be proud of you. For what you did for Dawn, and organizing the party, and everything. Your mum would have loved it."  
  
She gave a vulnerable smile. "Really?"  
  
He glanced at the photo at the end of the couch. "In fact, I know she is proud of you. Watching over you. Your guardian angel. You and Dawn. You're both so lucky, Buffy."  
  
She sat on the edge of the couch cushion, one hand cupping Spike's cheek. "She's yours, too."  
  
He nodded, giving the photo one last glance before closing his eyes and nuzzling Buffy's hand. "I know. I've.... Don't think I'm crazy for saying this, okay?"  
  
She nodded. "Ok."  
  
He took a deep breath, keeping his eyes closed and continuing to nuzzle her hand. "I've felt, several times, like she's watching me. When the Hell Bitch tortured me, I felt as if she was giving me strength. When you died, I felt like she was hugging me, trying to comfort me, giving me her strength again to give to Dawn. And a lot of other times. I don't know..." He opened his eyes, looked at her. "You think I'm nuts, huh?"  
  
She shook her head. "Mom is always watching over us. I meant it when I told Dawn. I believe you."  
  
"Have you ever felt it?"  
  
"When I luck out in a fight. Miss smashing my head against a grave stone, when... when I jumped. She was there." She looked at Spike. "She caught me. I never felt the ground."  
  
He felt a wave of comfort wash over him at that bit of information. And he could have sworn that Joyce was right there, hugging both of them right then. He closed his eyes. "Do you... feel her now?"  
  
Buffy breathed deeply, could almost smell what made up her mother- slight shampoo, soap, perfume, and clean clothes. "Yeah."  
  
"Me too." 


	27. Erase and Rewind.

The vampire closed in on her, fangs gleaming, smiling at the ease of it all. Her back turned, it would be an easy mark. The girl's head lifted, awareness suddenly filling her. She spun around, her hair flying as she threw a punch. The vampire countered easily, growling loudly, throwing a punch of it's own. She blocked, feinted a left jab, then turned a quick and surprisingly accurate and strong roundhouse. The vampire hit the ground with a loud "Oof!", in an instant, the girl was on him, a stake held up. She brought it down, turning it at the last second, and gently laying the blunt end on his chest over his unbeating heart. Tapped it three times. "I wiiiii-iiiin!" She sang happily.  
  
Spike snorted at Dawn. "Yeah, yeah. You win, Bit. Now geroff me."  
  
She smiled down at him, but before moving, she frowned. "You didn't let me win did you?"  
  
He rubbed at his jaw. "No."  
  
She smiled. "Good, cuz... then... You'd like... TOP my list."  
  
"List..." He trailed off, eyes getting wide. He glanced over to where Buffy was sitting on a box, eating a chicken salad sandwich. "Don't let her do it, luv. I'm trapped!"  
  
"And!" Dawn said, while Buffy just smiled, munching away. "*You* were a grouch this morning. Did Buffy not kiss you g'night?"  
  
"I was not a grouch, and it's none of your business. I'm not grouchy."  
  
Dawn smiled, while the grin faded off Buffy's face. "Anyway, you bit my head off at breakfast, and THAT was your third strike." She dropped the stake and started tickling him.  
  
He yelped and immediately started squirming. "AAHH! Bit! Stop it! SLAYER!!!"  
  
Buffy, who now looked considerably uncomfortable, waved her sandwich. "Eating. Sorry."  
  
Dawn kept tickling him. "I'll stop when you tell me why you were grouchy."  
  
"DROP THE.... SandwiCH! And HELP ME!!!", he howled around bursts of laughter. "And I'm... NOT... grouchYYY!"  
  
Dawn looked to her sister for confirmation. "Wasn't he all... snippy and short with everyone this morning??"  
  
Buffy gave a small smile. "Um... Everyone's entitled to a bad morning, Dawn." She stood, cocked her head to the side. "I think Giles is calling for me. I'll be right back." Buffy slipped out the door and sighed. This morning had been difficult. Hugely. And Spike HAD been short with everyone, but, she didn't hold it against him. She hadn't slept well either.  
  
In the training room, Dawn just shrugged at her weird sister and kept tickling Spike. "Well?"  
  
"I said I wasn't grouchy!", he laughed. "I'm in a GREAT mood..." He had to pause to convulse in a fit of helpless laughter, the continued, "Not my RIBS, Bit! Stop!!"  
  
She poked her fingers between his ribs. "Liars go to hell."  
  
"I'm a vampire! IT's my destination anyway!!!! And I"m NOT lying... Quit it!"  
  
She, with one final tickle, leaned back, still on his lap. "Fine. Party pooper."  
  
He lay there, panting. Trying to decide whether or not to pounce her. He had been in a bad mood that morning, but it had just been because of Buffy getting him all worked up the night before. He hadn't slept well, and he WAS grouchy. He decided to pounce and flipped the Key, not really sitting on her, but holding her down while his fingers found her ribs. "I seem to remember someone else reaching three strikes, eh, Bit?"  
  
She squirmed, laughing. "No! Not three!"  
  
He nodded, digging his fingers inbetween her ribs. "Oh, but I think it was."  
  
She squealed out a laugh. "Nononono!"  
  
He laughed, all semblance of the bad mood had left him. He continued to playfully tickle the youngest Summers. "Ok, if it wasn't three, then I'm giving you a free strike on me for next time." He released her just as Giles stuck his head in the door.  
  
"What's all the noise? I thought you two were training."  
  
Dawn sat up, both hands wrapped around her ribs. She coughed. "We... uh.. we were." At Giles' stern look, she dropped her head, said guiltily, "Then we weren't."  
  
Giles leaned on the doorjamb. "I figured. Because when would you ever be able to tickle a vampire on patrol?"  
  
Spike chuckled. "You never know around here."  
  
Dawn gave Giles her patented 'kicked puppy' look. "I'm sorry."  
  
Giles chuckled quietly. "It's fine, Dawn. I'm sure he deserved it."  
  
"I did not."  
  
Dawn nodded emphatically. "He did. He lied."  
  
Giles 'tsk'ed at Spike. "Bad vampire. No lying."  
  
Spike gave a pathetic sounding whimper and rolled onto his back like a puppy.  
  
Dawn stuck her tongue out at Spike. "And he KEPT lying. Still is. Lying," she said in disbelief. "To me. His Niblet. His Li'l Bit. His girl." She shook her head at Giles. "Can you believe it?"  
  
Spike gave a guilty look. "Sorry. Ok. Maybe I was in a bad mood this morning, ok?" He looked at Dawn, giving her the upside down kicked puppy look. "But I'm sorry I lied to you, Bit. I didn't want you to worry."  
  
She melted. She always did. She ran a hand through his hair. "Ok." She frowned. "Did- did you and Buffy fight?"  
  
He shook his head. "No. Not a fight. Just bad timing, that's all."  
  
She looked confused. "What do you mean?" She bit her bottom lip, mimicking her older sister unconsciously. "You guys didn't even... touch, at all this morning. I don't... I don't understand."  
  
He swallowed, knowing Buffy would kill him if he said too much, but he had to tell her something, and not lie about it. "Well, we were... uh... making out, and nearly went a bit too far... um... and I got... excited... and we had to stop. Then we had a little chat about your mom, and I went to sleep. That's it."  
  
Dawn swallowed, turning pink. "Oh."  
  
Spike gave her an embarrassed look. "You asked."  
  
"Bu- well, I-" She stopped, took a breath. "But you didn't?"  
  
"No. We didn't. And we won't. Not for quite awhile, yet," he said. "We're... happy with where we are. As long as we can keep from bringing up too many past mistakes, we'll be fine eventually, Bit. You don't have to worry."  
  
She nodded, having completely forgotten about Giles. "I'm glad," she said softly. "That, ya know, you... um... didn't."  
  
The vampire cocked his head, thinking. "You know what, Niblet? So am I. We're not ready yet, no matter what our bodies say."  
  
Giles cleared his throat. "A-hem. There was another reason I came in here, but if you two aren't finished training, I can come back later."  
  
Dawn's head jerked up at Giles' voice. Her face got pink again. "Um..." She stood quickly, looking anywhere but at anyone. "We're.. uh... finished."  
  
Spike stood up and gave Dawn a quick hug, whispering, "Love you, Bit."  
  
Giles smiled.  
  
Her chin tucked to her chest, she mumbled, "Love you, too."  
  
The vampire grinned, then looked to Giles. "So? What did you need, Rupe?"  
  
Giles looked at them, looking like a brother and sister. Spike was really starting to become part of the family. "There's a huge box that I need to get down from a high shelf. I can't hold it, so I thought you might..."  
  
"Say no more, Rupe! Spikey to the rescue," he said playfully, trotting out into the main shop.  
  
Dawn looked at Buffy, leafing through a book, sitting on a table. "Giles was calling, huh?"  
  
Buffy had the grace to make a chagrined face, then said, "What's up?"  
  
Giles followed Spike out the door. The vampire snuck up behind Buffy, gave her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before going to find a ladder. His bad mood was obviously gone now.  
  
Buffy spun in a circle, even though Spike was already gone. "Ok. Confused."  
  
Dawn shrugged. "I tickled him outta his mood."  
  
Giles chuckled. "Spike's on an emotional rollercoaster lately. It's no surprise that it is as easy to cheer him up as to get him upset."  
  
Buffy and Dawn both looked in opposite directions when Giles said 'upset'. "Yeah," they both mumbled.  
  
Spike came back from the basement, carrying a step ladder. "This was all I could find, Rupert."  
  
Giles nodded. "Yes. I think Xander borrowed the big ladder for something at work."  
  
Spike nodded. "It's old, but I think it'll do. Where's that box?"  
  
Giles pointed up to a large box on top of a shelf. "I have no clue how Anya got it up there, but I need it down now. We didn't put the contents in inventory last month, and the records are off because of it."  
  
Buffy and Dawn sat back, and watched, then Buffy volunteered, "I can probably get it, Giles."  
  
Spike shook his head. "I wanna help Rupert. You get the next one," he said playfully, deliberately sounding like a petulant five year old wanting to impress his dad.  
  
Giles just chuckled.  
  
Buffy smiled, feeling slightly more comfortable. "Geez... ok."  
  
Spike clambered up on the shaky ladder, and maneuvered the box off the top shelf. But the step ladder wasn't strong enough to handle both the weight of the vampire and the box. One leg of the ladder collapsed, sending Spike and the box tumbling to the floor with a crash. No one moved for a moment, almost not believing what had happened. Then all three occupants of the room screamed one word at once, "SPIKE!!!"  
  
Buffy flew forward, Dawn at her heels. She used her slayer strength to pull the chest off of him, seeing him hit his head against the counter as he fell. She slipped one hand under his head, cupped his cheek with the other. "Spike??"  
  
Dawn was crying. "Spike... wake up."  
  
Giles practically ran to the back. "I'll get icepacks and bandages."  
  
Spike didn't move. And he wasn't breathing. Blood seeped from a gash on his head.  
  
Buffy was getting nervous. She couldn't make a mental connection. She wanted to shake him, but restrained herself. "Spike.... damnit, wake up."  
  
Spike was as still as a corpse, and it worried everyone that he wasn't breathing. Spike even breathed in his sleep, so he had to be VERY unconscious not to be breathing. Giles returned and handed bandages to Buffy. "How's he doing?"  
  
She shook her head... "Nothing..." She hoped he wouldn't mind her invasion, and she began to root through his mind. She was calling the whole time she searched, stumbling across his recent memories. She saw... Harmony... lunging at a-a girl... the pain from the chip... Cammo clad men in a white building... the Initiative. There wasn't much more... It was like... a wall. She could feel things behind it, but she couldn't get past it. Oh, God. Please no. She panicked, pulling out of his mind. "Dawn," she bit off sharply, "go back to the house, and lock the door."  
  
Dawn looked at her sister, confused. "What? No! I want to be sure he's all right, and-"  
  
Buffy broke off her sister's tirade. "DAWN! I said GO. Now."  
  
Glaring, confused, and hurt, Dawn did as her sister commanded.  
  
Giles looked at Buffy. "Buffy, what is it? He didn't, lose the soul, did he?"  
  
She looked sadly at Giles. "I don't.. No. He didn't.... but he won't remember it. Any of it. I think.. you should get handcuffs ready. Just in case."  
  
Giles nodded slowly, understanding. "Amnesia. Total, or only partial?", he asked, opening the weapons trunk and taking out lengths of chain and hand cuffs.  
  
"He'll remember everything... till... I'm not quite sure where. He won't remember Riley leaving, or Glory, or..." 'Loving me,' pulsed through her.  
  
"Let's get him in the back room. Tie him up, wait for him to wake up. It's really all we can do." Giles placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know you're scared, Buffy. I am too. He was just beginning to really fit in here. We'll jog his memory. We'll get him back. I promise."  
  
She steeled her resolve, hitched Spike up, pulling him along with her to the backroom. "Go call the others. Let them know. I'll chain him."  
  
Giles nodded, reaching for the phone as Buffy and Spike disappeared into the back room.  
  
She was closing off, closing in, and she knew it. But it was the only way she could handle it. Buffy deposited him in the chair, in the training room, came back out, grabbed the chains, and made short work of making sure he was secure.  
  
Slowly, the vampire began to breathe. Still unconscious, but more like sleeping now. He was on the verge of waking up, moving slightly in the chair.  
  
Buffy closed herself off emotionally, all but breaking their link. She was preparing for whatever was next.  
  
Spike opened his eyes, blinking a couple of times, totally disoriented. "Ohhhh," he moaned, feeling the pain in his head. "Bloody hell.."  
  
She stood quietly, hands clasped behind her back, a good eight feet away from him.  
  
His vision cleared, and he moved to put a hand to his head, only to find that he could barely move it. "What the..." He glanced around. Magic Box, training room.... Slayer. He growled at her. "What's the big idea, Slayer? I didn't do anything."  
  
The hurt slashed through her harder than she thought possible. "Sorry, Spike. You... fell. We didn't know what kind of mood you'd be in when you woke up."  
  
The 'sorry' gave him pause. Since when did the Slayer apologize to HIM? He looked at her, regarding her curiously, saying nothing.  
  
She said with no emotion, "What's the last thing you remember?"  
  
He thought for a moment, considering. There was something weird in his mind, like, a heaviness floating around, it made it hard to concentrate. "Uh.... It's... um..." He broke off, annoyed at himself. "Can't think straight." Stared at her. "Must be that I'm tied to a CHAIR!"  
  
She rolled her eyes, sat on the mats. "Gee, let's do something about that. Like, get over it. Try again. What's the last thing you remember?"  
  
He snorted. Closed his eyes. Images flashed past, things from a long time ago, sending an uncomfortable wave of nausea through him. "Ooh. I don't feel good...." He swallowed. "Uh.. I remember the blonde witch thinking she was a demon. Punching her... Did someone hit me?"  
  
"Why would someone have hit you?"  
  
"Knocked me out."  
  
"You, um... fell. Do you know what the Initiative is?"  
  
A loud growl answered the question.  
  
Buffy held her ground. "Fine. I'll be back." She stood, turned her back, and walked out, closing the door behind her. "Giles?"  
  
Giles looked up from where he was bent over a book, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. "I take it he's awake."  
  
She nodded. "He remembers hitting Tara, and the Initiative. I don't... I'm afraid to let him up, and he'll know the chip doesn't work."  
  
Giles looked at her. "He has a lot to catch up on. And remember that he thinks it does work, so don't give him any reason to attack you, and we can make sure he keeps thinking that." He held up the book. "It says here that vampires with amnesia are the same as humans. We have to let him know we care about him, and try to make him understand all that he's forgotten. I'm afraid that he doesn't even remember that Joyce is gone. It's going to be hard, Buffy."  
  
She sighed, taking the emotional blow without blinking. Her face blank, she nodded. "I'm going back in. Can you bring me a mug of blood? With a straw?"  
  
Giles nodded. "I'll be in there in a second."  
  
She went back into the training room. "Hey."  
  
Spike glanced up from where he had been tugging on his restraints. "Slayer." He looked at her, cocking his head first one way, then the other. "When did you get a hair cut? How long was I out!?"  
  
She touched the shorn locks. "About six mo- Nevermind. Um... What's the last thing you remember... us talking about?"  
  
He snorted, then winced at a pain in his head. "We don't talk, Slayer. You hit me."  
  
She licked her lips. "What's the last thing I hit you over?"  
  
He thought. "Uh... Insulting your army cowboy. Yesterday."  
  
Oh, man... "You.. don't remember Glory?"  
  
He thought again. "Um.... OH! Yeah. Wants the Key. And it was over a week ago that you hit me last. Got mixed up."  
  
She swallowed. "What's the key?"  
  
He glanced around, trying to figure out if there was anyone else around. "Dawn."  
  
She sighed. He remembered more than she had thought.  
  
He looked at her. "She's okay, right?"  
  
She thought of her sister, in their locked home. "She'll be fine. How many times have I died?"  
  
He cocked his head, laughed. "Once." He let out a low snarl. "But I'll make it twice if you don't untie me."  
  
She internally winced. "Shut up, Spike."  
  
He snorted. "Figured."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Untie you so you could get in a good jump, snarl, then... AWwwwww my head!"  
  
He looked at his lap, wondering why it didn't feel right to be yelling at her. "Yeah, yeah. Points for effort, though?"  
  
Another eye roll. "One." She raised her voice. "GILES!"  
  
He came in at the same moment she called, carrying a mug with a straw. "I'm here, Buffy. That stupid microwave was acting up again. Tried to spin so fast that the mug nearly flew out the door." He looked at Spike. "Hello, Spike." Back to Buffy. "How's he doing?"  
  
She shook her head, took the mug from his hands. Held it to Spike's lips. "Hungry?"  
  
He looked at her. "Feeding me, now?" He was confused, since when was she nice? And why did it make him feel so good?  
  
"You gotta eat." She shrugged at him.  
  
He took the straw in his mouth, sucking quietly, his eyes roaming over her face, down her neck, pausing at something he didn't remember, but felt like he should. He released the straw. "Some big nasty take a bite out of you, Slayer?"  
  
Her eyes clouded. "Something like that. Finish eating."  
  
He did as she asked, sucking the last of the blood out of the mug. He sat back slightly, surprised to feel Giles' hand on his shoulder. "If you need anything, one of you call me, okay?" He was addressing Buffy, but his hand was still on Spike's shoulder.  
  
The vampire didn't know what to do. Everyone was being so nice all of the sudden. Weird humans.  
  
She looked at Giles, lost. She didn't know how to tell him... "All right," she told her Watcher, handing him the mug. Giles took the mug and left to do more research on vampire amnesia.  
  
Spike glanced at Buffy, a questioning look in his eyes.  
  
She stepped back, fidgeted a minute. "When.... when you fell... you... um... forgot stuff."  
  
He nodded. "I know. It's like... like there's a fog around a big part of my mind, and I can't get through it." Let out an annoyed growl. "Pissing me off." He tugged on the restraints. "If you let me go, I promise not to leave. It's day, anyway."  
  
She shook her head. "I can't, yet."  
  
He needed to touch her, or her to touch him, and he didn't know why. "Why not? And when can you?"  
  
She moved a little farther from him, sat down on the mats. Looked him in the eye. "Your chip is ineffective."  
  
His eyes got big. "What? Since when, cause I know it bloody went off when I hit the witch." And where was the craving to kill her? Damn, this was turning into a weird day.  
  
She dropped her eyes, said quietly, "Since you got a soul."  
  
He snarled, tugging on the chains. "NO! Who did this! How DARE you people- "  
  
"We didn't! I'm... I'm sorry... I'm not... explaining well."  
  
He froze. There was that 'sorry', again. Tugged a little more, but not as hard. "Try again, then," he said, wondering why it came out so soft.  
  
"Um... first off, it's 2002, for starters. G-Glory... opened a portal... with Dawn's blood... I... jumped in to- um... close it." She stopped. "Oh. You kept telling me you fell in love with me, before that."  
  
He stared at her. "Uh... say again? Slower, and in order. Start with the last thing that I don't remember."  
  
She ducked her head. "You.... fell in love with me."  
  
Opened his mouth to protest, but something stopped him. Emotions, confusing and jumbled, began floating through the fog in his mind. Slayer...Luv...Goldilocks.... Buffy... He closed his eyes, shaking his head, trying to make things clearer. "....how? 2002? I'm... I love you?" It was said as a question, but sounded so right. He moaned, the headache getting worse.  
  
She was flustered. "Yeah... 2002... You... said you did. Anyway, Glory ended up getting Dawn, opening the hell portal."  
  
"You jumped in...." Flash: Tower, Doc... free falling, pain... physical first, then emotional, stronger, uncontrollable. He opened his eyes. "...hurts...", he said quietly.  
  
She nodded. "I- Willow... brought me back."  
  
"Red?"  
  
"Yeah... I wasn't... feeling right, when they did. Couldn't.. feel anything."  
  
He looked at her. He was getting bits and pieces, but it was all so confusing. So much emotion... and guilt. He looked at his lap, feeling a tear slide down his cheek, wanting to wipe it away, but he couldn't move his arms.  
  
She stood, walked to him, tentatively reached out a hand.  
  
He turned his head away, half expecting her to hit him.  
  
She gently wiped at the tear, then sat at his feet. "We.... um... We... screwed. A lot."  
  
An interested, but confused face. "You loved me too?"  
  
She shook her head. "I said we screwed."  
  
"...oh..." 'Should've known. Cecily all over again. I can really pick 'em.'  
  
"And... it... was time for me to... stop escaping." Her head snapped up. "I am NOT like that bitch."  
  
He stared at her. "What? Who?"  
  
She paused. Well, shit. "Nevermind. Any-anyway... I... um... stopped sleeping with you."  
  
He tugged at the restraints again, more to just be doing something than to actually try to escape. The emotions from her breaking up with him shot through him, without the benefit of actual memories to attach them to. It was confusing. "Ok. Then what?"  
  
"You... um... we... you-" She sighed. "You tried to... rape me in my bathroom."  
  
His soul shook, causing his body to repeat the movements. More emotions, but still no real memories. He kept shivering.  
  
She wasn't look him in the eye. "You... ran away... Went to Africa, for basically the whole summer. And got a soul. Tara... died while you were gone. Willow went on a dark magic binge, almost caused an apocalypse. Xander stopped her."  
  
Spike looked up, trying to catch her eyes. Everything she'd told him sounded so right, but he didn't remember it. "And... how long have I been back?"  
  
"Little over three months."  
  
"Nothing's happened since I've been back? Where's everyone? Red, Harris, Anya, Dawn, your mum?"  
  
She winced. "M-mom..." She couldn't start there. "Xander and Anya... aren't dating anymore. Xander left her at the alter. Willow is in intensive therapy, Dawn... she's good. She just had her sweet sixteen."  
  
Spike grinned. "Good for her. Lil' Bit's a good kid."  
  
She smiled half-heartedly. "Yeah. She is. Spike..." She put a hand on his knee. "M-mom... Mom... was sick. And... she had. A brain aneurysm. She... died, a few months before I did."  
  
He stopped breathing. Inhaled slowly after a moment. "...no..." Stopped breathing again. Tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
Buffy looked at him, her own eyes filmed over. "I'm sorry... They said- they said that it... That she didn't feel it."  
  
He continued to not breathe. It was the only way to keep from crying. But he couldn't control everything. His body started shaking and tears ran silently down his cheeks.  
  
Buffy let her own tears fall, and she lifted up on her knees to wipe at his.  
  
His restraints didn't give him much leeway, but he had enough. He drew in a shuddering breath and let it out in a loud sob. Without knowing why, he leaned forward, placing his head on the Slayer's shoulder, crying onto her blouse. "...Joyce...", he said softly through the sobs that were now wracking his body.  
  
She wrapped her arms around him. "She... you wear one of her charms."  
  
He felt it hanging from the chain around his neck. So that's what that was. Without thinking, he nuzzled her a little, trying to make her feel better since he couldn't return the embrace.  
  
She let him, then pulled away slowly. "Do... do you want me to finish?"  
  
He nodded, trying not to hiccup.  
  
"We... talked... a lot, when you got back... we said slow. Very, very slow. One day, you came to your crypt, and I was waiting for you. You had... the hell beat out of you. So, I bandaged you, and stayed the night. We were kissing... in the morning, and Giles came in. He thought you were... hurting me. So, he beat the hell out of you, too. I got him to stop, and started to fix you up again... I was... scared. There was so much blood. So I slipped you some of mine, in a mug."  
  
His eyes got big. "You did that.... for me?"  
  
She sat back down all the way, shrugged. "Yeah. So, a couple days later, and you still weren't... well. But we had a- a link. Our thoughts were connected. Anyway, I did a cloaking spell on a mug of my blood, because you didn't want anymore of it."  
  
"I'm weird like that," he said, attempting a joke. "I get what I've wanted for, what? Six years, and then I don't want it anymore."  
  
She gave a small smile. "Um... we... experimented because... I could... feel you vamp. So, we linked, to see if I could understand vampiric when you were like that..."  
  
"You could." Statement. Not question.  
  
"Yes. And I... um... I claimed you."  
  
He looked at her. Then closed his eyes, feeling around in his mind for the new bond. It was there, but closed from the other end. "Ah. So that's how you heard me compare you to Cecily earlier."  
  
"Um.. yeah. Then... the... next morning, I... you claimed me."  
  
He swallowed. Knowing that it was true. "And then?"  
  
"Y... We... I... told you I loved you." She lifted her eyes to his shyly.  
  
He looked at her. "You do?" He couldn't remember the last time ANYONE had said that to him. And it felt good. Really good. He bit back a purr.  
  
Softly, "Yeah. But... I can't... I won't let you loose till I..."  
  
"Till you what?"  
  
"Till I'm sure... you won't hurt them." Her eyes begged for understanding.  
  
"Your pals."  
  
She nodded.  
  
He fidgeted nervously. "How can I assure you?"  
  
She shrugged. "I have no idea."  
  
He laughed quietly. "Guess I'd better get comfortable, then." He looked at her. "You really think I want to hurt them?"  
  
Buffy looked back at him. "I don't know... Where you... your memories leave off... if the chip had been gone, you'd have killed everyone in front of me, bathed me in their blood, and torn my throat out."  
  
His stomach rolled. "I don't want to. Feel sick..." He closed his eyes, fighting back a wave of nausea, clamping his mouth shut to keep the blood down.  
  
She bit her lip. "That's... your soul, you get sick when you... think about stuff like that."  
  
"Then what do you think would happen if I actually TRIED it?", he said, swallowing hard.  
  
She frowned. "I'm sorry." And she was, genuinely. "Even... last week, you'd have beaten Xander. I mean, you guys get along now... but..."  
  
He made a face. "Get along? With Harris? Euch. How about just letting me have an arm? My nose is itching like crazy."  
  
She gave him a wary glance, then walked behind him, to uncuff one hand.  
  
He immediately reached up and scratched at his nose. "Ahh. That's better." To her surprise, he held his hand behind him again. "You can put it back on now."  
  
She grabbed his wrist to do so, then stopped. "You can keep it out for a while."  
  
He looked at her, surprised at the gesture of trust. Then began to scratch at a couple of other itchy spots, one on his ribs, another on his stomach. "Thanks...", he said quietly.  
  
"Yeah.." She moved to sit in front of him again. "Um.. any questions?"  
  
He started to reach toward her, then pulled back and set his hand in his lap. "You... Me... We're a couple?"  
  
She nodded. "It's understood we're taken."  
  
He grinned. "And you love me? And I love you?" Why was he so damned happy about this?  
  
She tucked her hair behind her ear. "Um.. yes?"  
  
A genuine smile. "No more questions, then."  
  
"Ummm... Ok. All right. Here's the deal."  
  
He watched her, waiting.  
  
She spoke slowly, weighing her words. "I'll... let you loose. But you have to stay in the house. No hunting, no fighting, and if you scare Dawn, I'll make it hurt."  
  
He nodded, and then cocked his head. "Niblet's not scared of me. She likes me."  
  
"She's going to be uneasy a while... I sent her home when you fell. Told her to lock the door."  
  
He watched her as she untied him. "So she doesn't know what's wrong with me, and yet you're taking me to your house?"  
  
Buffy stood, holding the chains. "I'll call, explain." She turned to the door, then stopped. "Spike?"  
  
"Yeah, Sl- luv?"  
  
It was quiet, pleading. "Please don't make me choose between my heart and my calling."  
  
He stood up, walked to her slowly, and tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder. "You have my word, luv. My promise. My bond. All things that I am powerless to break."  
  
She raised her hand to touch his softly, for a second. "Let's go... We need to talk to Giles." 


	28. Everything's Gone to Hell.

"Dear Kitty," Dawn started in her journal. "Spike's been... back, I guess, for two days. I was kinda scared when he walked in the door. He looked... like a caged animal. Ready to fight for his life or something. He's not normal. Buffy told me, ya know, that he doesn't remember anything. And I know it's not his fault. But it still hurts. He said what we remembered made us real, and... he doesn't remember loving me, or Buffy. I cried the first night. But Buffy's ok. But Buffy's always ok. She made Willow move in with Xander, till she can be sure, ya know, that all the Scoobies are protected. They've basically been banned from the house." Dawn sighed, bit at the end of her purple pen. "Spike yelled at me. Lately, ya know, he started sleeping at night more, and was awake in the day. But now, he sleeps like... well, a real vampire. Vampire hours. And I accidentally woke him up. I don't even know what he said, but it was snarly, and it wasn't English, so I went upstairs really quick and locked my door. He didn't even come and pound on it. When me or Buffy is nice, he just gets this... wary look on his face, like we're gonna produce a stake out of the air and plunge it in him. He gets nervous. Jumpy." Dawn's eyes were sad as she finished the entry. "I miss my big brother. I'm audi. Dawn"  
  
  
  
Buffy placed the plate quietly, as softly as possible into the cupboard, being careful to not clang it against the others already stacked. Spike was keeping normal vamp hours again, and she was doing her best to not wake him. With Dawn at school, she had more chores than usual to catch up on.  
  
Spike tossed on the couch. His hypersensitive ears picking up the quiet sounds of dishes being put up. He let out a quiet snarl. Didn't these people know how to be quiet? It was better at the Watcher's. At least his living room was dark most of the time. The light filtering through the curtains was almost blinding. He rolled over and stuck his head between two pillows, snarling again.  
  
Buffy was now done with the dishes, moving on to straightening the counters. When she had done that, she grabbed the trash, opened the door as quietly as possible, even leaving it open while she went outside so that all she had to do was close it when she back in. And when she did, she closed it quietly, so that even to her slayer hearing all she could faintly make out, at less than a foot away from the door, was the quiet click of the latch.  
  
Spike heard the click and gave up trying to sleep. He couldn't sleep anyway. There was a freakin' SLAYER in the next room. Every instinct in his body was screaming at him to kill her, or run away, or something. He chose to find the remote. There had to be something on the telly in the afternoon, right? He stood up and began digging around in the couch, looking for the remote, muttering curses in at least three languages.  
  
Buffy peeked her head into the living room. "Are you up?" She said, a soft, hesitant smile on her face.  
  
He snorted. "Yeah. I'm bloody up. Can't sleep." He kept rooting around, then threw his hands up in frustration. "Where's that BLOODY REMOTE!"  
  
She tried to keep the wince off her face. She pointed at the coffee table. "Right there."  
  
He turned around, staring at the remote like it was an alien. "How the hell....?" He could have sworn that he'd looked there before. He snarled at it, then flopped back on the couch and turned the tv on, flipping channels.  
  
She frowned. Yeah, he was a jerk when he didn't get enough sleep, but he was just being an asshole. "I'll uh... get you a mug of blood."  
  
"Don't bother. Not hungry."  
  
Buffy's heart hurt. She could feel him pulling back from their bond, and her claim was letting her know, in spades, that it was being neglected. But she was done tiptoeing around him. "Ya know what, Spike? I know you're not happy about this, but NEITHER am I, and at LEAST I can contain myself enough to not be a JACKASS to the people who are TRYING to help you."  
  
Loud snarl. "Bugger off, Slayer. Leave me alone." 'Why does it hurt....?', he wondered mentally, unaware that she could hear him.  
  
She looked at him, pushed her hair out her face. She was hot. She was hot, and sweaty, and angry, and hurt. "It hurts, Spike," she told him aloud, "because I do." She turned on her heel, and stomped upstairs to slam and lock the bathroom door, turning the shower on.  
  
Spike stayed downstairs, staring at a rerun of Scooby-Doo. Something poked him in his pants pocket, and he resituated himself to pull out his keys. Looked at the new object: a Scooby-Doo. Just like the ones that the Slayer and her pals had. He put the keys back in his pocket and looked at the picture of Joyce at the end of the couch. 'Why can't I remember, Joyce?', he thought at the photo. 'They're all so bleedin' NICE now. And I'm being a jerk. I want to try, but it's scary. What if I wake up, and they hate me again. I wish you were here. I could really use some cocoa now. Who am I kiddin'? It's not the cocoa. It's you. I miss you, Joyce.'  
  
Buffy was in the shower, scrubbing away the dirt, sweat, and the first layer of her epidermis. She heard his words floating through her head, and she felt very naked. Until his words started making sense. She sighed, and started to shampoo her hair. He was trying. Well, not really, but he was scared. And it was understandable. She was going to have to accept it. This wasn't going to fix itself over night. She had to be patient, and understanding. She came downstairs when she had blow- dried her hair, and pulled on a comfortable pair of jeans and a black tank top. She gave herself a rueful look in the mirror, berating herself for continuing to smudge black liner across her eyes, but never stopping. For herself, because she knew Spike wouldn't know the significance of it, she put a thin layer of apple lipgloss on. When she was downstairs, Spike was still staring blankly at the TV. As she walked past him, she swept the remote out of his hand, and flopped down on the opposite side of the couch. Started flipping through the stations.  
  
He started, nearly jumping straight up into the air. "GOD! Slayer! What're you trying to do? Scare me to... uh... dust?" He got quieter as he went on, finally realizing how dumb he sounded, and shut up again. Staring at her flipping through the stations.  
  
Her mouth quirked at the corner. "You realize how lame that was?" It was playful, not mean, and she had pitched her voice carefully to make it so.  
  
He offered a tentative grin. "Yeah. I got that." Reached for the remote.  
  
She jerked it out of his reach. "SO don't think so." She got to the channel she wanted, smiled, sighed and settled into the couch. The Romance Channel.  
  
He snorted and glanced at the tv. "What's this stuff?" Leaned back into the pillows, not really leaning away from her, but not trying to get close either. The claim pulled, but not as bad. Having her close, and not being mean to her had placated it slightly.  
  
She frowned. "A crappy movie. I watched it last week. It ends sad." She flipped a couple more times. Yuh-huh. WE. Women's Entertainment. She smiled. This movie had 'happy ending' written all over it.  
  
He looked from her, to the tv, then back again. "Is this one good?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Oh yeah. Happy ending."  
  
"Good. I don't like sad endings. Unless I'm in the right mood for it." An effort. Make an effort. "Uh... so. Um. Is there anything else that I don't remember that we didn't go over the other day?"  
  
She shook her head. "I told you everything that happened."  
  
"Oh." Uncomfortable silence. He looked at the walls, at the ceiling, at the tv, and many other things in the room, finally focusing on the picture of Joyce again. Just stared. Then got up and went into the kitchen.  
  
Buffy's face remained forward the whole time. TV. Focus on the TV. Ooh. The movie on the TV. Even better. Not on Spike rooting around in the kitchen for the biggest knife to slit- Bad Buffy! Stop it! Oooooh... these two were gonna hook up... She snorted at the bottle- blonde on the screen, and tried to remind herself that just because nothing SHE would put her hand to in a relationship would ever work out, didn't mean that other people weren't allowed to have a green thumb for relationships.  
  
Spike came back, two mugs in his hands, and a package of marshmallows. He offered one mug to Buffy. "You, uh... want some cocoa? I have marshmallows, too." There was cocoa in his mug, too. Not blood. Cocoa. Huh.  
  
She took it, smiled gratefully. "I'd love some." She took a small sip. "I did forget to tell you something."  
  
He sat down. "Yeah?"  
  
"For, uh... for Dawn's birthday, you and, and Giles sang for her. And you got her a pink rhino, and an opal necklace set in silver."  
  
"Me? Sing? I don't sing." 'In public.'  
  
She shrugged. "Well, you do now... or... then, whatever. And play the guitar."  
  
'Piano. Flute. Violin. Guitar' "Is that right?" Offered her a surprisingly shy grin. "I suck, don't I?"  
  
She shook her head earnestly. "No. And... you sing," 'Bryan Adams' her mind taunted her. "really, really well."  
  
He puzzled at the mental words. Oh, yeah. Claim. Forgot. "You... you really think so?"  
  
She looked into her mug of cocoa. "Well, yeah." Tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.  
  
He smiled at her. The first genuine smile in quite some time. "You... You're... nice, Sla- Buffy."  
  
She snorted. "Especially when I'm not attempting to smash your head in?"  
  
"That's a perk."  
  
She sent him a wry grin.  
  
He chuckled quietly. "Is there anything else that I don't remember? Things we do? Didn't the Watcher say that we were supposed to try and do normal things to jog my memory?" He made a face. "Sorry about the barrage of questions."  
  
She nodded. "It's ok. It's kinda... nerve-wracking when you don't ask 'em. We.. went on a date. To a Chinese restaurant. We watched a movie another night, just sat and cuddled on the couch all night." The ghost of a smile crossed her lips.  
  
He cocked his head. "We cuddle?" Let out a quiet laugh. "You just keep surprising me. Who holds who?"  
  
Somewhat defensive, she said, "Yes. *We* cuddle. You... held me."  
  
He nodded. "Sounds... nice."  
  
God. Pain. It was startling and fierce. "It was."  
  
He flinched, unsure if the pain was her's or his. He tentatively scooted closer. Being close made the pain go away. "You... want to show me?"  
  
She looked up at him, slightly shocked. "Do... you want to?"  
  
He thought. "Yeah. I.. do."  
  
She scooted closer, too. "Ok." She laid her head on his shoulder.  
  
He tentatively put an arm around her shoulder. His muscles were tense, nervous about being close to the Slayer, but his emotions were anything but tense. Happiness... Love? Was it there? Yes. Hiding, but there. And he felt it.  
  
Buffy drew in a long breath as his arm slid around her. She could smell him. The scent that was his alone. She had been very unsure if she would ever have felt this again. Without thinking, she turned her body more fully against his, one arm laying across his stomach as she stared at the tv.  
  
He went slightly rigid, then tried to calm down. He loved her. He knew it, he felt it in his heart. In his SOUL. So why was this so hard?  
  
She knew it wasn't the same for him. Not comforting, relaxing. This wasn't... necessary to him. It was going through the motions. And rigidly at that. Her hand crept up a few inches, scratched ever so gently at his ribs.  
  
He twitched slightly at the action, not knowing what to expect, then a wave of contentment began to wash over him. He relaxed, even going as far as to rest his head against hers, his eyes closed. A purr began, extremely softly, and the muscles in his left leg started to jump.  
  
She scratched softly for a little while, then toned it down to a firm rubbing.  
  
He was relaxed now, and the purr got louder. Operating mostly on instinct, he nuzzled her, and pulled her closer to him, sniffing at her hair.  
  
A soft ripple went through her at the action. Her eyes drifted closed, and Buffy sighed.  
  
He felt her relax. More and more, the feelings of being trapped, or tricked, were fading. He felt as if he were surrounded by a comforting blanket, and nothing could get him. It was similar to the way he'd felt around Joyce, but much stronger. Very quiet, in a semi awed voice, "...I love you..."  
  
Her eyes opened, then drooped, as if they were adjusting to a harsh light. It felt so good to hear. And at the same time, it hurt. "I love you, too," she said hoarsely.  
  
He nuzzled her again. "Why? I've never been anything but horrible to you. And you love me?"  
  
It was painful, and confusing. The face, the body, the voice of Spike. The one she fell in love with. But the mind... the mind of the one she fought. "Because... you make Dawn laugh. And you don't leave. Because you care."  
  
He smiled softly. "I like Dawn. She's a lot like your mum.." His voice cracked.  
  
Her hand moved up his chest to rub in comforting circles. "She's a good girl. And a lot like Mom."  
  
He nodded, not trusting his voice anymore. 'Leave it to me to break down in front of the girl I love... again.' Not knowing what to do, he just hugged her tighter, and nuzzled her again, allowing the purr to rise to the high pitched realm of almost words. It was close to going into the constant repeating of "*I love you*" again. He still wasn't sure about this, but he did like it. And not just because it meant that she wouldn't beat him up anymore, either.  
  
Her heart was pumping steadily, but it seemed deeper to her. Harder. Her claim was being sated, his almost-words filling her. Her hand crept up farther still, to touch her mark on him.  
  
He shuddered, and fought down a sudden urge to collapse at her touch. Without opening his eyes, his hand found hers on his neck, and squeezed it slightly. "*Always...*", he purred without thinking, the claim driving his thoughts, speaking what his emotions were screaming at him.  
  
God it hurt. He was so close. And so very far away. The claim tore from her throat the word she was fighting to not say. "Forever."  
  
He pulled back slightly, opening his eyes and looking at her, love for once outweighing confusion in his blue eyes. "Buffy... Can I.. kiss you?"  
  
She looked at him, acquiesce in her eyes, her lips still slightly parted from the word she had spoken.  
  
He leaned forward, eyes closing again as their lips met.  
  
His lips were the same, but the kiss was different. He wasn't sure what to do, not remembering ever kissing a human before. He didn't know if he would hurt her accidentally, or if she needed to breathe... It was confusing. His hands too, seemed confused. He tried to keep them still on her back, but they wandered with a mind of their own.  
  
Her teeth nibbled at his bottom lip, pulling at it. Her hands ran through his hair, down his arms.  
  
He must have been doing something right. He continued to kiss her, allowing one wandering hand to make it's way up her shirt to play on the skin of her back. He began playfully nibbling on her lip as she had with his.  
  
A soft noise escaped her lips.  
  
His excitement was growing, as was hers, he began kissing down her neck, exploring as if it was the first time. To him, it was.  
  
She shuddered. It was... special. Made her feel beautiful. But like she was cheating at the same time. She tried to dismiss the thought. Cheating on Spike with Spike? She tilted her head back.  
  
He continued his way down her neck, pausing every few millimeters to investigate something new. A mole here, a scar there, little hairs that stood up when he played with them. He nuzzled his nose against her neck. She was so warm... So alive... so not like Dru. Better. She actually loved him, and didn't just think she did.  
  
She felt herself laying back, wrapping her arms around him, her short nails gently scoring down his arms.  
  
He encountered his claim mark, and investigated it as well, sniffing, kissing, licking and nuzzling it and the surrounding skin. With every motion, he felt himself getting more excited. Never before. Not even when he'd killed the two Slayers, had he felt like this. 'Angelus was right. Only thing better than killing a Slayer is...' He trailed off, vamped, and his fangs sank into the claim mark.  
  
The pain surprised her, as did his vamping. Her eyes snapped open, and she shoved him away from her, using the strength at her disposal. She almost cried out when the force of her shove tore the fangs from her at a slight angle. She stared at him, for a brief second, the betrayal flashing in her eyes. She pressed a hand to the gash on her throat, and ignoring the fact she was barefoot, fled from the house.  
  
========================================================================== =======  
  
Giles started awake to the ringing of his phone. He stood up, muttering about "bloody loud ringers", and answered it. "Hello?"  
  
"Giles?"  
  
"Buffy? Where are you? There's quite a lot of noise in the background."  
  
"Nowhere. Giles, I need you to pick Dawn up from school, in an hour. And keep her at your place."  
  
"Why? What fo-"  
  
"Can you do that??" She was trying to talk over the noise from the street. "Giles! Can you do it?"  
  
"Well, yes. Of course. What's going on, Buffy? Is it Spike?"  
  
"Everything's fine." All he heard after that was the dial tone.  
  
Giles hung up and shook his head. "Everything's gone to hell..", he muttered to no one in particular.  
  
-======================================================  
  
Buffy slipped in the back door of the Magic Box. Granted, she had forced the knob, but she got in. She'd pay Anya back, if she ever even noticed. She looked to the corner in the back of the training room. She opened her old chest, pulled out what she needed, sliding it into a canvas bag, and slipped back out.  
  
==========================================================================  
  
  
  
Spike paced back and forth in front of the now silent tv. "Ok. I love her. She claimed me. I claimed her, and yet I can't bite her. She's mad, and she left! I've never run her off before. Especially when I wasn't trying to!" He stopped, picked up the photo of Joyce, and went back to pacing, talking to it. "What do I do, Joyce?", the distraught vampire asked the photo. To his surprise, he felt as if there was a hand on his shoulder, guiding him into the kitchen. Not knowing what to expect, he let it lead him. There was a mug of cocoa that he KNEW he hadn't fixed sitting on the table. He sat down, placing the photo at Joyce's usual place, stared at the cocoa.  
  
'Drink it,' a voice that seemed to come from inside his head, as well as the picture said. Joyce's voice.  
  
He was confused at first, but it was so familiar, so... right, that it stopped being strange after a moment. He took a sip.  
  
'Good boy. Now, what's bothering you today?'  
  
"Your daughter. What else?"  
  
'Very funny.'  
  
"I'm not bloody kidding she's driving me fu-"  
  
'Language.'  
  
His mouth closed. "Sorry. She's driving me crazy. Says she loves me, and I try to express how I feel, and she tosses me across the room. What did I do wrong?"  
  
'What part of you were you listening to?'  
  
"Part of me? Like an arm, or a leg?"  
  
'We both know what I mean, William.'  
  
Spike winced, she only called him William when she was pis- mad at him. "Sorry. You mean the vampire part."  
  
'No. I mean the soul. What did it say about what you did? Before you actually did it.'  
  
He went internal, thought. "Didn't like it. But the demon did."  
  
'Buffy loves you, Spike. She does. I'm her mother. I know. But you scared her by listening to the wrong part. Pay attention to the soul. You got it for a reason, remember?'  
  
"I wish I could remember."  
  
The photo seemed to be smiling right at him. 'I'll help you remember.'  
  
At that moment, the front door slammed open. While she had been stalking to her house, Buffy pulled a stake from the bag, tucking it into the back of her jeans. She jerked the door open, slammed it shut, and dropped the bag to her left. Buffy's stormy eyes swept the living room, knowing before she even did that he wasn't there. "I'LL FIND YOU!" she called defiantly.  
  
"In here," the vampire called from the kitchen, snapping his eyes away from the photo of Joyce and shaking his head to get rid of the fuzzy feeling.  
  
Buffy stalked in, straight up to him. She close-fisted bitch slapped him.  
  
He was knocked clean out of his chair and onto the floor, his head swimming from cracking against the counter. He could almost hear Joyce yell, 'BUFFY!'. He shook his head again. "Ok. It's ok. I deserved it..."  
  
Sharp fist to his nose. "No. Shit." There was a crack as the Slayer broke his nose for the 3000th time, and blood streamed from it. Still, he fought the urge to hit her back.  
  
She pinned him to the floor, yanked the stake from her pants to brandish it in front of his bloodied face. Her own wound had closed, leaving only chilling streaks of dried blood down her throat. His eyes widened at the sight of the stake, and then closed, preparing to open upon a hell dimension.  
  
"The *only* reason this is not making you a nice present for my Dirt Devil is *this*," she ground out.  
  
Opened one eye. "Is what?" Quiet, slightly scared voice.  
  
"The man that I love is buried beneath your filth." Her eyes burned, with fury and tears. "So we can do this the easy way, or my way... the REALLY painful way. Chose. Because either way, you're going to wind up chained to something."  
  
His eyes burned with tears both from her yelling at him, and from the excruciating pain in his nose. "I've had enough pain for tonight, Slayer. Easy way."  
  
She yanked him up by the front of his shirt. "Don't move." She didn't even bother with an ultimatum.  
  
He froze, glancing at the picture of Joyce through watery eyes. Maybe it was his imagination, but it looked like she was suddenly frowning at both of them.  
  
Buffy returned in less than a minute, tossing the canvas bag to the floor, reaching in for the chains and cuffs.  
  
He just watched her, glancing every now and then to the photo, which was now grimacing at the chains. 'Weird,' he thought. 'Thought I was dreaming... Dunno what to think now..'  
  
She faced him, her features blank. She was the Slayer.  
  
He looked away, avoiding her eyes, falling back on ancient vampiric instinct that said 'never look an angry superior in the eyes. They will surely attack and kill you.' It was something that was passed through most demon species, and can be found in most animal species that operate in packs or groups. He was clearly stating that Buffy was in charge, and he wouldn't fight her.  
  
"Living room."  
  
He marched, pausing in front of the tv, waiting for further instructions, staring at his shoes.  
  
She trailed him, dragging behind her, along with the chains, a dining room chair. She tossed the chair to the left of the window, knowing the sun wouldn't touch him. "Sit."  
  
He sat, staring at the carpet now.  
  
"Hands."  
  
His hands went behind his back, after wiping at the blood on his face on last time.  
  
She shackled his wrists, then ankles, connecting them with a medium length of chain. She modified her design to her content, knowing he wouldn't be able to move from the chair. Not without considerable noise, at any rate. She stood in front of him, her eyes taking in the beaten visage. The woman slipped in, aching.  
  
He wouldn't look up, didn't move, didn't breathe. He was a corpse tied to a chair.  
  
She went to the kitchen, came back with a wet papertowel. One hand took his chin, the other wiped gently at the blood. She swallowed. "Do you want me to set it?"  
  
Winced, didn't look her in the eyes. "... guess so..."  
  
She set her thumbs on either side of his nose. "...gonna hurt..." The words slipped before she could check them.  
  
His eyes closed, and he gritted his teeth.  
  
She felt the pain as she snapped the bridge of his nose back in place.  
  
Externally, he barely flinched. Internally, he screamed in pain. His nose had always been extremely sensitive to pain, and his eyes watered uncontrollably.  
  
She wiped at a final trickle of blood, and went to the kitchen to dispose of the bloodied cloth. When she returned, she had an icepack, wrapped in a towel. She set it gently on his nose.  
  
He flinched, whimpering before he could stop himself.  
  
The woman had replaced the warrior. "You lied to me." The words were quiet, pained.  
  
"I did?" His tone was almost the same as hers.  
  
"I can barely remember the last time you lied to me." Her eyes locked on his, betrayal so easily read. "You said you'd never make me choose between my duty and my heart."  
  
"I... I didn't...."  
  
She looked at him in disbelief. "*Angelus* was right? The only thing better than killing a slayer is what, Spike?" Anger over-rid the pain. "WHAT, while you TEAR at my neck?" She tossed the icepack angrily against the wall.  
  
His eyes got big, and he looked up before he could stop himself. "You don't know what he said! You don't know what I was agreeing to!" He looked down again. "And I can't tell you."  
  
She gave him a look of open disgust. "You don't HAVE to tell me. You said it the first time we had sex. Screwing one. At least then you had the brains to not try to suck me dry."  
  
"That wasn't what I was going to say. It wasn't what he'd said. And it wasn't what I meant." He snorted, then moaned at the pain in his nose. "Suppose he can't kill me over something he doesn't even know I overheard. The quote is: The only thing better than killing a Slayer is loving one. He said it after you two were possessed by those ghosts at the old school. He went through this big production of washin' his mouth out, and then he was sitting all alone in his room, I rolled past the door, and overheard him muttering to himself. That's what it was."  
  
The hurt was still there, throbbing in her eyes and heart. "You BIT me."  
  
If he could have, he would have thrown his hands in the air. "That's what vampires DO! To show affection, to cement a bond, to say they care! I didn't mean to hurt you, Buffy."  
  
She shook her head, vehemently. "No. No. You- Spike- MY Spike... claiming and cementing, he TOLD me, don't have to hurt."  
  
He looked down. "That's because I did it wrong. I bit the wrong place. I was excited. Worked up. And I bit you as if I was going to feed, instead of claim. It was an accident. I'm still new at this."  
  
She lifted a hand to scrub at the base of her neck, where a small pool of blood had dried. "I can't let you out. I can't let my sister live here."  
  
He looked up. "Dawn's not coming home?"  
  
Disbelief was splashed across her features. "You think she should?"  
  
"I'm... I don't want... I won't hurt her, or any of them. And it... hurts... that you think I do." Cocked his head. "Well, maybe I want to hurt Harris. But that's normal."  
  
"Well, I'm very sorry that it hurts your feelings. But when it comes down to your feelings being stepped on, or their lives, their lives are gonna win. How can you expect me to let Dawn stay here, when I'm not even thoroughly convinced of everything you said? And do you think for one *minute* that I want her to see you *chained* to a *chair*?"  
  
He nodded, looking down again. "You're right, luv. She should stay with the Wat- Rupert. Or one of the others if he's busy. You have no reason to trust me right now. I don't even think I trust me right now." He looked at her. "I'm trying, luv. I really am. I'm trying to remember. I want to remember. All you've told me, aside from a few things, sound like a dream come true. Real friends. Family. Parties, games, dates. Actually having someone who loves me for the first time in my life. I want that more that you can ever know." A single tear ran down his cheek.  
  
One tear won against Buffy, too, and she looked utterly defeated. "It was a dream come true, Spike... which is why I should have known something like this would happen." She sighed, scrubbed again at her neck. The dried blood was flaking, slightly itchy. The cut had healed, for the most part, leaving now only a sickly yellow bruise. She shook her head. "I don't... I don't know what to do. Giles... he'll be coming over around midnight, after Dawn is asleep, safe. He'll... he'll help me. Figure something out."  
  
"Ok. As long as it doesn't involve me and a stake, I'll do my best to help." He glanced into the kitchen. "Uh, luv?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Could you go get Joyce's picture out of the kitchen? I'd like it back on the end table again."  
  
She sighed, retrieved it, set it gently, reverently, on the end table, her fingers sweeping over the glass absently, a gesture obviously ingrained, automatic, but never losing meaning.  
  
He stared at the picture, wondering if she'd come back. But it was just a picture again. He shook his head. 'I'm nuttier than Dru... Talking photos. What's next?'  
  
Buffy looked at Spike. "I'm going upstairs. And showering. I'll probably stay there till Giles gets here. Do you... need anything?"  
  
He shook his head again, giving the photo one last glance before turning his attention to the Slayer. "No. I'll just... take a nap. Feelin' really tired."  
  
She nodded, went to the curtains, pulled them tightly closed. "Blanket?"  
  
"No. Thanks, though. I'll be fine here." He shifted a little. It wasn't the first time he'd had to sleep in a chair, after all. "Night, luv."  
  
She felt guilty, and justified at the same time. She grabbed a pillow, pushing on his shoulder till he leaned up, dropped it between his back and the hard wood of the chair, draped the blanket over him anyway. She headed for the stairs, stopped at the doorway of the living room. "Spike?"  
  
"Yeah, luv?"  
  
Without looking back, she said quietly, "My mother loved you."  
  
"I know," he said, glancing at the photo. "Believe me. I know." 


	29. The power...

Buffy ran the brush through her hair. Stared at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't like that she was shutting down again. But she didn't know what else to do. Giles would be coming over after patrol, to help her... do something. She wasn't sure what, but it had to be better than her idea- sit in her dark room, on the bed, knees to her chest, and stare blankly at the wall. She pulled her short hair into two tiny pigtails at the base of her neck. She pulled on a long sleeved sweater, a nod to the November weather, stuck a stake in her pocket, and took a deep breath. Buffy went down the stairs, not sure if she was ready to face the chained vamp in her living room.  
  
"If you could only see the way, She loves me, Then maybe you would understand, Why I feel this way about, Our love, And what I must do, If you could only see how blue, Her eyes can be When she says... When she says she loves me...", Spike sang softly to himself, heedless of the Slayer descending the stairs. He continued humming the song, being unable to remember the rest of the words.  
  
She walked to the doorway, pulling on a pair of shoes, then stepped into the living room.  
  
Spike had his eyes closed, but he now knew she was there. "Evenin', Slayer," he said quietly, stopping his humming.  
  
Her arms were hugging her sides, and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She tried again. "I'm going patrolling."  
  
His eyes opened and he looked at her, shifting slightly, rather, as much as the chains allowed him to shift. "Kill a few nasties for me." He looked at her, and his look softened slightly. She looked... lonely. "Uh, you goin' alone?"  
  
"I will," she muttered, knowing she'd be a slaughterhouse tonight. THIS was the kind of release she was accustomed to. She was still far from him. In her mind, it was a safe distance. "No... Dawn and Xander are going with me."  
  
He nodded. "Good that you're not goin' alone." Stared at the wall absently. "Ever thought of getting a painting or something for that wall? It needs something to look at."  
  
Her eyes jerked to the bare wall. "Used to have a sculpture, but... It had some magic inclination. We had to get rid of it." She shrugged. "Willow, ya know."  
  
"The addiction thing you told me about, right?" He considered the wall again. "Still... it needs something. Like... I dunno. A mountain scene. Rivers, rolling hills. Maybe a horse. I wonder if I remember how to paint..."  
  
Buffy shrugged. "You're going to be alone most of the night. Till Giles or I get home."  
  
He nodded. "I know. I'll just take a nap. I didn't get much sleep today."  
  
"All right." She sighed. "Look. I just told Giles to come over about one. I didn't tell him anything. So... you'd be wise to keep your mouth shut till I get home."  
  
He nodded again. "Look, Slayer... I.. uh.. I know you have your reasons for doing this, and I understand. I just want you to know that I hope I remember everything soon, because, the Spike you keep telling me about? He's really lucky. And I'm starting to see that."  
  
Her bottom lip shook. Swallowed, firmed it, bit it. "Yeah. He is."  
  
He looked back to the wall. "I just thought you should know that I'm trying. And that I'm sorry that I took him away from you. I... I know how much it hurts to have someone you love so close, and yet so far away."  
  
She nodded, waited till she trusted her voice to say, "You didn't take him away."  
  
"Yeah I did. I'm here. He's not. And I'm sorry it hurts you. If it helps, I do care about you. And the others... Well, most of them, anyway."  
  
She almost smiled. The corners of her lips twitched up for a short second. "It helps, and it hurts." Bracing sigh. "Do you... want anything? Blood? We might... have some wings. I have some time before I have to meet them."  
  
He shook his head. "I ate enough this afternoon to take me into tomorrow because I knew you were going out tonight. I'll be fine if you want to leave. I know I... freak you out, for want of a better term."  
  
One hand left her ribs to absently rub a yellowing bruise. "I... ok."  
  
"You hurt?" Concerned look, quickly hidden with Neutral Face.  
  
Her hand froze, jerked down. She hadn't even realized she was touching it. "I... no. I'm fine." 'I'm always fine,' she mocked herself.  
  
"No you're not. Some big nasty got a good hit in, eh?" He gave her a half grin. "Come on, Slayer. Who am I gonna tell? The wall, the floor, or the couch?"  
  
She gave a small grin back. Rolled her eyes. "Fell off the training horse."  
  
He cocked his head sideways, bringing the couch into partial view. "She fell of the training horse," he whispered conspiratorially. "Shhh. Don't tell the endtable, it's a secret."  
  
She gave a half laugh. "I miss fighting with you."  
  
"Are we talking verbal, or physical here, because I don't want to say anything embarrassing."  
  
"I mean, I figure, if, when you get back to... version 2.0, you might not remember this anyway. But I miss fighting with you. Verbal." She tipped her head, considered. "Physical, too, but not as much."  
  
He grinned. "Reeeeaally now? I thought I was the only one."  
  
She snorted. "You take as well as you give. It's... fun to have an equal."  
  
His grin got wider. "You know what? I've always thought so too. AND, verbally, anyway, you don't always win." He finished with a slight pout.  
  
"Yes I do. I'm the Slayer. It's my JOB to win."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You all lose eventually. Got a bleedin' death wish, all of ya."  
  
She shook her head slowly. "Not me. Not anymore."  
  
"Oh, yeah. I forgot. You took care of that, didn't you?" He looked at her curiously. "Can you tell me something?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I.. uh.. I know I'll probably never see it... so... What's heaven like?" He said this to the wall, but he was obviously talking to her.  
  
Her eyes got hazy, unfocused, and she thought. "It's... not hot, and not cold. Just right. But there's always a breeze. And it... it smells like orange roses."  
  
He looked at her, his head cocked to the side. "Thanks. At least now I can try and imagine it. When I was little, I'd be sitting in church, and half listening to the priest, but mostly I'd be looking at the stained glass windows, and trying to make them all look three dimensional, you know? Try to see what heaven would look like...." He trailed off, remembering. "Always thought it'd be like this big park. Full of love and happiness, and stuff. You know? With the saints milling around and lots of singing. I liked singing when I was little. I was in the choir."  
  
She smiled. "I know. It is... happy. Easy. Things are softer there."  
  
He nodded. "I know it's got to be wonderful. After all, Joyce is there, so it has to be perfect, or she'd be raggin' on the angels to clean it up," he said with a watery chuckle.  
  
She smiled. "Yeah, Mom would..." She tilted her head. "Why don't... you think you'll ever be there?"  
  
"I'm evil. A horrible thing. A vampire. Vampires don't go to heaven. Dogs do. Vampires don't. And because I don't deserve it."  
  
She sat on the floor, close to the chair. "Can I tell you something?"  
  
He glanced down at her, nodding slowly.  
  
She said slowly, "I'm not good, either. I don't deserve heaven this time around. And there are no dogs in heaven. At least, not where I was."  
  
"There aren't? Well then, I have a bone to pick with the movie industry. And you'll go back. You are good. You're the Slayer!"  
  
She rested her arms on her knees. "The Slayer is fine. The woman is tarnished."  
  
"You can't separate the two. It'd be like trying to separate the demon in me from the body. It can't be done. I'd be dust. The Slayer is a part of you. Like my demon is a part of me. We may not always like them, but we also can't get rid of them."  
  
She looked up at him. "You're the only person to understand that."  
  
He gave her a small smile. "We have a lot in common, Slayer. Always have."  
  
"Yeah. Spike?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You've got a soul. Same as me, same as Dawn, same as Mom. You- despite stuff, are good most times."  
  
Small snort. "Sins of the past, luv. That's what'll do it. But thanks anyway."  
  
She shrugged. "You've helped save the world twice."  
  
"I don't remember. I wish I did. But, I've taken hundreds... thousands of lives. Two averted apocalypses really don't stack up."  
  
She shook her head. "You do so remember the first. Angelus. And sure. Five billion people, twice."  
  
"Yeah, well. I could've helped you more that time. All I did was whack my grandsire with a pipe." He grinned. "Although I enjoyed it very much. And I'm glad you think so, luv. I really am. Believe it or not, your opinion has always meant something to me. Didn't start out as much, but it was something."  
  
"I'm the Slayer, I'll probably die a hundred years before you anyway. I have pull up there. You will be in heaven, Spike. Maybe we can do something about the music, too."  
  
He gave her a playful/hopeful look. "Bon Jovi, maybe?"  
  
She took a gamble. "Slippery When Wet."  
  
"Oh yeah. That's my favorite album of theirs. My favorite song's on that CD."  
  
She had never asked her Spike. "Which one?"  
  
"You Give Love A Bad Name." He chuckled. "Story of my life. And unlife."  
  
She shook her head. "No kidding. Spike? Do you remember us talking... at the Bronze?"  
  
"More specific, luv. We've talked there before. Of course, it usually ended with you hitting me..."  
  
She winced. "Yeah. Um.... did it involve money?"  
  
"Uh... Lemme think..." Shook his head slowly. "No. Unless you're talking about when I swiped Harris' wallet and bought hotwings, then no. Sorry." Gave a mental, 'DAMNIT!' "I really want to remember. There's so much I've lost. So much that I want to talk to you about, and it's just not there." Repressed snarl. "Bloody pissing me off..."  
  
She shook her head, her hand almost touched his knee, pulled back. "It's ok. One day... You're gonna remember what I'm talking about. And I'm sorry. Remember that."  
  
"That you're sorry about talking to me... with money?" Confused puppy face.  
  
"I'm sorry about talking to you and throwing money."  
  
Still confused, he chuckled. "Ok. But I would think throwing money would be good. At least for whoever catches it." He glanced at the wall clock. "Uh, luv? When were you going to meet the others?"  
  
"Ten thirty. Why?"  
  
"Cause it's 10:24."  
  
She swore, stood quickly. She picked up the blanket that had fallen off Spike, tugged it over him again. "I gotta go."  
  
He grinned. "Night, luv."  
  
She headed out the door, paused, and called back, "Sleep well."  
  
"I will. Have fun, Slayer."  
  
She grinned. "Always." Shut the door.  
  
========================================================================== ===========  
  
Buffy caught up with Xander and Dawn close to Spike's cemetery. "Hey guys."  
  
"Hey, Buff!", Xander said, twirling his short sword. He was getting really good at that. "Ready to kill some bad guys?"  
  
Dawn sprinted to her sister. "What happened? Why wasn't I allowed to come home??"  
  
Buffy took Dawn's shoulders, and looked into her eyes. Dawn was growing up, but she was still so young. "Nothing happened. I just.... didn't want Spike to yell at you again if you woke him up."  
  
Xander looked concerned for an instant. "How's he doing?" Neutral face. "Pretend I care."  
  
Relief flooded her sister's eyes, and Buffy felt her lie was justified. She smirked at Xander. "He's fine. Ya know, if you're pretending to care."  
  
He snorted. "Of course I'm pretending. I hate Spike." Looked at the sister's expressions. "Really! I do!"  
  
Buffy smiled, and led the way into the cemetery. "Yeah ya do. He's still not remembering well. No news."  
  
Dawn frowned. "Maybe... Maybe we could all sit down and talk to him till he remembers."  
  
Buffy smiled sadly. "It's not... not like that, Dawnie. It's not like you're dropping hints to the answer of a question until they get it right. The memories are NOT there, where he can find them, anyway. It's like a big wall they can't get around."  
  
"Buffy's right, Dawn," Xander said. "Believe me. Giles has had me reading everything in English about vampire amnesia, and they all say that it fixes itself. It just takes time."  
  
Dawn looked discouraged again. Buffy bumped their shoulders together. "Which Spike has like... plenty of. And we've got our fair share. Right?"  
  
"Yeah," Dawn said half-heartedly. "Right."  
  
"Come on, Dawn. Look at it this way. Now you get to make friends with him all over again."  
  
She looked at Xander, hope in her huge eyes. "You really think so?"  
  
Xander grinned. "Yeah. And, you have an advantage. You already know everything about him, so you know just how to talk to him and stuff."  
  
She grinned. "Yeah. I'm gonna make popcorn when we get home, and hot chocolate, and watch Lethal Weapon with him." She smiled at Buffy. "Ok?"  
  
Buffy gave a tense smile. "We'll see, Dawn."  
  
-========================================================================= ===========  
  
Meanwhile, back at the Summers home...  
  
Spike was fighting dozing off. He really wanted to see what the bug that he had spotted on the wall would do next. It had already tried to climb over the light switch twice, two different ways, and he was hoping that it just might make it this time.  
  
He shook his head, trying to clear away the sleepiness, but it wasn't working. He hadn't gotten much sleep that day, after all. Against his will, he dozed off...  
  
...and woke up, or so he thought, still sitting in the same chair, only the chains were gone. And he had a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. Being a dream, it didn't seem as weird as it would later.  
  
He got up, yawning, and headed up the stairs. When he got in the bathroom, the vampire was startled to see his reflection in the mirror. Pausing, he examined it. Hmm. He needed to bleach again. His roots were beginning to show. He got a strange feeling, as if he was being watched. He turned around to find that the back wall of the bathroom lead into one of the Initiative's observation rooms, and there were a bunch of scientists staring at him, taking notes.  
  
"Uh... Sorry," he said to the scientists. "I'll, uh... Find another mirror." As he walked back out of the bathroom, he muttered, "I'm losing my mind..."  
  
He stood in the hallway for a moment, trying to figure out what to do next, since the urge to pee had passed as suddenly as it had come. When he heard the singing...  
  
"The evening is coming The sun sinks to rest... The crows are all flying straight home to their nests... Caw says the crow as he flies overhead.... it's time little people were going to bed. The flowers are dozing, the daises asleep, the primrose are buried in slumber so deep closed for the night, are the roses so red... it's time little people were going to bed.. ", Joyce rocked the tiny bundle in her arms, singing softly. She looked up, smiled at Spike.  
  
Tears were in his eyes. "Joyce... Uh.. I thought you were..." He looked at the bundle. "What's that?"  
  
"Isn't it beautiful?" She whispered.  
  
He cocked his head. "It's glowing."  
  
She placed it carefully in his arms. "You have to be careful with it... it's your soul." The bundle glowed with a gold energy.  
  
He stared down at it. "My... soul? But I thought I already-"  
  
She smiled at him. "You had it? You have to nurture it, Spike... watch it grow."  
  
He looked at it. "How? It's a glowy ball of... something. Not a pet."  
  
She reached a finger in, as she would tap a baby's nose. "Treat it well. Don't abuse it."  
  
He looked around, then down at the soul, then at Joyce. "Abuse it? I can't even see it... Uh.. well, most of the time anyway." Glanced around again. "Do I have to keep carrying it? It's getting heavy."  
  
She patted his shoulder. "It seems heavy now. Once you get used to it, and treat it well, you'll barely even feel it."  
  
He nodded, sort of understanding. "I... I've been wanting to talk to you lately. I don't... remember a lot of things. I fell, and-"  
  
"Yes, dear, I know. But we really have to get going... We'll be late."  
  
He followed her out the door. "Late? For what? If I see a white rabbit with a waist coat and a watch, I'm out of here, just so you know."  
  
She linked an arm through his. "Late for everything." She wagged a finger at him. "You'll take this walk with me. Until I'm finished."  
  
He grinned. "Don't worry, Joyce. You have my undivided attention..." He glanced behind them. "Except for the part of me that's wondering about the guy following us with a slice of cheese on his head..."  
  
She turned, looked at the balding man wearing the cheese. "I told you, sir. The power of cheese is downstairs to the left." She huffed, leaned her head on Spike's shoulder. "Honestly. Some people."  
  
Spike didn't mean to, but he snorted out a giggle. "The power... of cheese..?" Another snort.  
  
She tilted her head towards him. "Young man, this is serious. I'll just throw the tiny marshmallows away if this is how you're going to be."  
  
He cleared his throat, attempting to rid himself of the image of many balding men worshiping a cheese slice. "Sorry, Joyce. I know. I'll be good."  
  
She gave him a motherly smile. "You were always a good boy, Spike."  
  
He smiled. "Thanks." Then cocked his head. "But I was evil. I still can be. If I wanted to."  
  
She patted his arm affectionately. "But you don't want to. I'd have to go get the fire axe again, and quite frankly, it was very heavy."  
  
"And painful."  
  
Shook her head considering. "Not really."  
  
"I meant to me." He glanced around, as they were now suddenly outside. "Where are we going, anyway?"  
  
"To see a man about a duck. Then we're going to play with your soul."  
  
"A duck?" Then he glanced down at the bundle still in the crook of his other arm. "Oh. I forgot about it for a moment."  
  
She smiled. "It's getting lighter already, isn't it?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah. Specially when I don't think about old things."  
  
She nodded. "Do you hurt Buffy to see if she bleeds?"  
  
========================================================================== ========  
  
Xander hit the ground in a deliberate roll, copying a move that he'd seen Buffy do on numerous occasions. The vampire hadn't been ready for the seemingly helpless prey to get up so quickly, and it still had a shocked look on it's face when Xander's sword took off it's head. "WHOO! Yeah! Last one." He glanced at his companions. "Who's tha man, huh? WHO'S the MAN!?"  
  
Buffy laughed. "Umm... as the only one with any relevant testosterone, you the man."  
  
Dawn smiled at her pile of dust in satisfaction. Kick to the groin, kick to the head, smart -ass remark, stake in, stake out, all in a day's work.  
  
Xander snorted. "Rain on my parade, why don't you." He clapped Dawn on the back. "Whoa, Dawnster. That was some fancy stakin'. She has taught you well, Grasshopper. Wax on, wax off. Stake in, stake out. Very good." All this finished in a very fake Japanese accent.  
  
Dawn laughed, smiled proudly. Buffy gave her a nod of approval. "Totally great slay."  
  
"Come on, girls," Xander said, taking one on each arm. "There are still three cemeteries to patrol. And vamps to slay before we sleep. And vamps to slay before we sleep." He grinned. "Not exactly Robert Frost, but it's the Hellmouth version."  
  
========================================================================== ========  
  
"What do you mean by that, Joyce?", Spike said, slightly shocked.  
  
She looked at him, ponderously. "Didn't you ever just want to know that she bled, too?"  
  
"She's human. Of course she bleeds." The bundle in his arm gave a lurch, and seemed to get heaver again.  
  
She frowned. "It's easier, lighter when you're honest, William."  
  
He flinched. William again. She was either disappointed, or mad at him. "Sorry. Yeah. I guess I used to wonder about that. Not so much now, though." The soul quieted down and got lighter again.  
  
She gazed at him. "The body isn't the only thing that bleeds, is it?"  
  
He shook his head. "No. It isn't. I should know..." They were passing a very old looking building. Spike paused and looked in, just in time to see Cecily tell William that he was "beneath her". Tears rose up in his eyes. "*Bitch...*", he growled.  
  
"William. Language." She turned her gaze to the woman. "Absolutely an atrocious whore."  
  
He laughed out loud. "Thank you. And sorry."  
  
Graceful smile, that was such an inherent part of Joyce. "Of course. What are you missing, Spike?"  
  
"Missing?" He looked at himself. "Uh.. I think I have everything I'm supposed to have, Joyce." Glanced at the soul. "And one thing that I'm not supposed to have, but do anyway."  
  
She shook her head. "Let's find what we came for, before we're late."  
  
A white rabbit wearing a waist coat and carrying an oversized pocket watch ran by. "Oh, yes!", it cried. "We mustn't be late!"  
  
Spike's eyes got big. "Ok. I am never reading that book again."  
  
Joyce snorted. "Hmph. Last time he offered to take me to tea, but not this time." Sighed. "Come now... knock on the door."  
  
"Door?" And there was a door, suddenly in front of them. No building, but a door. Spike shrugged, and released Joyce's arm to knock....  
  
-============================================================  
  
"...I'm just saying, any guy that invites you over for breakfast is up to something," Xander finished, twirling his sword absently.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Xander. His MOTHER asked me to breakfast, since I was doing something with my FAMILY that night."  
  
Buffy smiled. "I think it's sweet."  
  
"Yeah... well.. Maybe she's in on it," he said, grasping at the last straw on the camel.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "It was so sweet," she told Buffy, choosing to ignore Xander's comment. "I came over, ya know, and he was just... frowning at the stove, trying to make chocolate chip pancakes."  
  
Buffy gave the appropriate "awww".  
  
Xander just snorted, doing a very good Spike impression.  
  
Both Summers' looked at him, the same eyebrow and identical 'ex-cuse me?' look on their faces.  
  
Xander paused. "Did I just do what I think I did?"  
  
"If you mean stick your foot in your mouth AND manage to make a distinct 'Spike' noise, then Survey says yes," Dawn shot off snottily.  
  
"I meant the Spike noise. But, now that you mention it, I did notice the taste of Reeboks."  
  
Dawn smiled and laced her arm through his. "It's ok. I forgive you."  
  
He grinned and squeezed her arm. "Thanks, Dawnie. You know, it's a good thing that we can always talk everything out. And very good that we're not so distracted by personal matters that we missed the group of five vampires that are CHARGING OUT OF THE SHADOWS!!!" He dropped Dawn's arm and the three friends went into fight stances.  
  
-==============================================================  
  
Joyce gave Spike a gentle nudge to the door. "Go see what you're missing, Spike... it might be important. And remember, never drop it when it gets heavy."  
  
He nodded, and knocked on the door, wondering what would answer it.  
  
The door swung open, and a broken Buffy stood there. She didn't seem to know that she was-should have been-dead. "What are you missing?"  
  
Spike started shaking. "I.. I don't know..." He reached out, putting one hand on Joyce's shoulder for support. "What.. what happened to you...?"  
  
Buffy blinked, shrugged, and smiled at her mother. "I fell, but Mom caught me."  
  
A flash of clear memory swam across Spike's mind, the first clear memory that wasn't from over three years earlier. A tower. Dawn. Doc. Free falling. Pain... Then it got worse. The Scoobies gathering. Buffy's body. Spike's soul began to shudder and get heavier again. "I failed. I could have.. Should have saved you... I'm so sorry, Buffy. I'm so sorry...." Tears rolled down his cheeks.  
  
Buffy's head tilted to the side. "I never understood why you thought that. You didn't fail... All I ever asked of you was to save Dawn."  
  
"And I didn't. I didn't stop Doc. I failed..."  
  
Buffy and Joyce both laid hands on him. "Dawn breathes," Buffy said. "She shops, talks.."  
  
"Loves, steals," Joyce gave Buffy a stern look. "That wasn't nice."  
  
Spike turned his watery gaze on Joyce. "It's not her fault. Dawn learned it from watching me."  
  
Joyce gave him a stern look. "Liberating things from Wal-Mart is not role-model behavior. However, Dawn did because she could. She didn't learn."  
  
He ducked his head. "I was broke.... Wait. Didn't you say we were going to see a man about a duck? I haven't seen a duck yet."  
  
Broken Buffy laughed. "Mom, you always used to say that when you took us someplace we didn't want to go."  
  
Spike gave Joyce a suspicious look. "Are we going somewhere I don't want to go?"  
  
She looked at him, her gaze holding his, Broken Buffy slowly dissolving. "Why else do you think you can't remember? You're afraid."  
  
He started to give his normal answer, 'I'm not afraid of anything.', but stopped. Joyce could always see through him. "And what if I am?"  
  
She took his hand, guided him down the hall. "There's a difference between fear, and paralysis from it. And if you let it paralyze you, you aren't worthy of my babies."  
  
His back stiffened. "Fear has never paralyzed me, Joyce. I have fought things that made me want to curl up under my bed and never come out," he said defensively, allowing her to guide him.  
  
Joyce stopped in the hall, dropped his hand, and wrapped her arms around him, being careful to not squish his swathed, glowing bundle.  
  
Unsure of the reason for the sudden hug, but not wanting to pull away, he wrapped his free arm around her, his other arm occupied with the soul. "What's this for?"  
  
She pulled back, her eyes smiling kindly into his. "I knew you'd never let me do this anywhere but a dream." She grabbed his hand, and continued down again. "Are you still missing something?"  
  
"You. In the real world. I miss you." He knew he was talking to a memory, in a dream, but he just had to tell her.  
  
She squeezed his hand more tightly. "I'm always there. I watch you all. Well, not ALL the time..." They drew up on another door, much like the one to his crypt. With her free hand, she placed one finger across his lips. "Shhh... go watch..."  
  
He slowly opened the door, just in time to see another, less dead Buffy pin a doppleganger of himself up against one of the posts in his crypt. He cocked his head, looking back at Joyce. "Can they see us?"  
  
A finger to her lips, she shook her head. "No... but listen."  
  
He turned back, just in time to see DreamSpike and LivingBuffy suddenly locked in a passionate kiss. "Buffy...", DreamSpike moaned. "God. I love you... so much.." Then the scene changed, to Spike and Harmony, sleeping in bed, and Spike sat bolt upright, panting. "Oh god... Oh god no..."  
  
Spike looked at Joyce again. "I knew this. She told me."  
  
Joyce pointed at the changed scene.  
  
The vampire turned around, and nearly threw up. The scene had changed to him and Harmony, and they were doing much more than making out. Only, Spike could also see his doppleganger's thoughts. DreamSpike wasn't even remotely thinking about Harmony. His thoughts were of nothing but Buffy. "What're you thinking about?", Harmony asked DreamSpike, panting.  
  
"Only you, baby. Nothing but you..", DreamSpike lied as the crypt began to disappear in front of Spike, he jumped back, to find himself back in the hallway again, with Joyce.  
  
He cleared his throat. "Ok. That was... interesting. What now?"  
  
Joyce kept walking. "Well, how do you feel? That depends on what's next."  
  
He trotted to catch up. "I feel... fine, I guess. A little nauseas from seeing Harm again, but..."  
  
Joyce sighed. "Yes, but I do feel bad for her. She DID like you. I understand where you're coming from though. May I give you a piece of advice?"  
  
He smiled at her. "Of course, Joyce."  
  
A sound smack on the back of his head. "You stay away from those... those... trollops!"  
  
He shook his head. He hadn't known that this was a full contact dream. "Ow! Ok, Joyce. God.. Where did you learn to hit so hard.. Never mind."  
  
She snorted. "If you say that *I* got it from *Buffy*, you'll get another one. Now. Let's see.. where did I... Oh yes." She snapped her fingers, a new door popping up. "Ask it what you want to see."  
  
He stared at it. "Talk... to the door? I don't speak to inanimate objects."  
  
Small glare. "William."  
  
He sighed. "Fine. Door, what do I want to see?"  
  
She rubbed a hand at her temple. "TELL it, what you want to see... you know, a 'thy will be done' thing."  
  
"I want to see something that I don't remember," he addressed the door. It opened, revealing Giles' living room, and yet another Spike and Buffy. Only this Spike was on one knee in front of her. "Say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth..."  
  
Spike scrambled back from the door. "WHAT!!?" He looked at Joyce, as Buffy said yes and accepted his skull ring. "You have got to be kidding..."  
  
Joyce cleared her throat, said sweetly, "Ahem... Mr. Door? Sir? We'd like to see what happened the moment the spell stopped, if you would, please."  
  
"Sorry, Joyce. I was... shocked."  
  
Spike could have sworn the door smiled. It closed, and reopened on the interior of a crypt, and Spike and Buffy kissing. Then the group of demons that were attacking the crypt stopped, and Spike and Buffy pulled apart, eyes wide. Buffy leaped up, wiping at her mouth. "Spike lips! Lips of Spike!", she howled. If there had been Lysol handy, she would have dipped her lips in it. Spike, for his part, rolled over, gagging. Then the door closed.  
  
Spike stood there, the soul still light, but aching. He snorted, trying to hide the pain. " 'Lips of Spike' indeed."  
  
Joyce, with her eyebrows raised, glanced at him, then the door, and back again. "Well?"  
  
"Hurts. But I remember more, now."  
  
She nudged him, gave the door a pointed glance... "Thank you?" she muttered quietly.  
  
He looked at the door. "You've got to be kidding..." Noted her look. "Ok, ok. Thank you, Mr. Door." He turned back to Joyce. "I remembered the spell before. But the feeling... when it broke... I think I blocked it."  
  
She smiled approvingly at him as the door vanished. Linked their arms. "Why did you block it?"  
  
"Because I didn't want to admit what I'd felt. That I'd loved her. Even then. Dru was right, and I didn't want to see it."  
  
Joyce nodded. "Buffy didn't have easy dreams for a month. Now... what next? What would you like to remember?"  
  
He cocked his head. "After the soul. I've got everything... Up to right before I left. There's... something... Another wall. And it hurts."  
  
"What do you remember, Spike?"  
  
He closed his eyes as they walked along. "I went to the house. I wanted to... talk to her. To tell her... something... I don't remember. I went upstairs. I left my duster on the stair rail. I saw her in the bathroom. We talked... and then there's nothing."  
  
She unlinked their arms, placed it over his bundle, giving him a firmer grip. She waved a hand in front of them, and they stood in the bathroom.  
  
Spike looked at her. "I don't think I want to be here, Joyce. I really don't want to be here..."  
  
Joyce said sadly, "No one wanted to be here."  
  
He was trying to back toward the door. "I want to go home now. I really don't want to see this. I don't want to remember anymore..."  
  
Joyce raised a hand and the door slammed shut, effectively sealing them in.  
  
His eyes were wide, with that terrified trapped animal look. "Joyce! What're you doing? I DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS!!"  
  
Her eyes were calm. "But you need to."  
  
"No I don't. I don't want-"  
  
Joyce's eyes filmed over with unshed tears. "You need to see what you both triumphed over."  
  
As she spoke, the scene played out again. Spike and Buffy, appearing mid struggle, her crying out, and him heedless of what she said, continuing his assault anyway.  
  
Spike cried out, moving toward his doppleganger, trying to help Buffy.  
  
Joyce reached out a hand, and without even touching him, restrained him, forcing him to watch.  
  
He whimpered, and pulled against the invisible restraints, tears streaming down his face.  
  
Meanwhile, Buffy had managed to toss the other Spike against the wall. And he froze, not being able to believe what he had almost done. "Buffy I..."  
  
"Get out..."  
  
Spike sagged against the restraints as the scene faded away, falling to his knees, nearly dropping the soul.  
  
Joyce's hands pushed it back into his.  
  
"I can't... I didn't... I'm sorry...", he whimpered. "Oh God... I'm a horrible person."  
  
Joyce knelt in front of him, pulling his head to her shoulder.  
  
He cried onto her shoulder, as he had several times before. "I don't deserve to be a part of your family, Joyce. Let me wake up, and I'll stake myself. Rid the world of another monster."  
  
"We're not finished yet," she told him gently. "You need to see more..."  
  
========================================================================== =======  
  
Dawn smiled. "Pasty and undead is REALLY not your color," she said earnestly to the last of the five attacking vamps. "Dust is more for you." Rammed the stake home.  
  
Xander laughed. "Whoa, Dawn. You're getting as good at those quick remarks as your sister."  
  
Buffy gave a petulant, "Hey!" while Dawn beamed.  
  
"Really, though," Dawn said. "The only people- vamps, that I've ever seen look good pale are Druscilla and Spike."  
  
Xander snorted, then backpedaled and sneezed. "Had to sneeze. Honest. No Spike noise."  
  
Buffy half smiled a moment, thinking about how the moonlight used to shine off his marble abs, the way their skin contrasted but- "Huh?"  
  
Dawn gave her a weird look. "What is wrong with you? All spacey and... lala for a minute."  
  
"Ignore your sister, Dawnie. Her mind is elsewhere."  
  
Buffy stammered out, "I- I was... tallying the body count."  
  
Xander looked around. "Dust count, you mean. Man. All we've seen is vamps tonight. I was hoping for a little demon action."  
  
Buffy glared at him. "Bite your tongue."  
  
Just to be annoying, he did. "Ow."  
  
Dawn laughed at him. "Retard."  
  
"... dar.... I like wood. It's good. Dar..."  
  
Buffy gave a small chuckle, hitting him in the shoulder.  
  
Xander laughed, grabbing Buffy in a bear hug. "Apologize for hitting me, you mean person!"  
  
She squealed. "Help! The big carpenter man is gonna get me!!!"  
  
Xander made a very manufactured growling noise. "Don't make me use my secret weapon."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes at her sister, who returned the gesture. "And what would that be, He-man?"  
  
"This." He went for the high spot on Buffy's ribs.  
  
She squealed and laughed, trying to wriggle out of his arms.  
  
He released her. "Now. Don't say I didn't warn you. Ms. Big, Tough Slayer Woman."  
  
She ducked her head in a false show of humility. "I'm sorry, Mr. Big Scary Carpenter Man."  
  
"Don't make me use my weapon again...", he threatened, wiggling his fingers at her playfully.  
  
She nodded. "Never, ever again."  
  
Dawn was laughing at their silliness.  
  
Xander exchanged a look with Buffy. "But I didn't say anything about your little sister..." They both turned to her sister.  
  
"Guys.... guys..... now, c'mon!"  
  
========================================================================== ===========  
  
Joyce tugged at Spike. "You have to get up... there's more I have to show."  
  
He stood up shakily, and followed her. "Now what? Because I know it can't get any worse."  
  
"Can you remember the trials?"  
  
"A little. Fire. Demons. Beetles..." He shuddered. "I hate beetles."  
  
She nodded. "Do you need to see them?"  
  
He shook his head. "I really want to know about after them. When things got good... When she loved me..", he finished quietly.  
  
Joyce led him to another door.  
  
Spike sighed. "Excuse me, Mr. Door. Could you please show me something more recent that I don't remember?"  
  
Joyce gave a disbelieving laugh. "Honestly Spike... It's just a door... open it."  
  
He stared at her. "But.. the last one... Oh never mind. Bugger it all." He opened the door. He walked into his crypt, seeing himself crying on his bed, Buffy wrapped around his back, her hands clutching his. "I forgive you," she said, over and over.  
  
He looked at the scene, then back at Joyce. "She forgave me? Even though I-"  
  
Joyce smiled proudly. "My daughter has a large heart. Just like the man that holds it."  
  
Spike blushed instantly, and found an interesting spot on the blanket that held his soul to stare at, a pleasant warmth flowing through him.  
  
"Oh! Look!" Joyce pointed excitedly.  
  
He looked up, nearly giving himself whiplash. "What!?"  
  
Buffy sat curled on the bed now. Babbling in a list about something, the words tumbling from her before she could think to check them. "-I love Spike, I miss Tara..."  
  
Both the real Spike, and the dream one had the identical goofy grin on their faces. "You what?", they said at once.  
  
Spike actually did a dance. It was small, more like hopping in place, but it was there. "She loves me, she loves me, she loves me!", he kept babbling over and over, hugging his soul tight to his chest. "I knew it!"  
  
Joyce smiled, and noticed that Dawn was now sitting on his couch. Talking to Dream Spike. Spike stopped his dance, blushing again, and turned to look at himself and Dawn on the couch.  
  
Dawn's face took on a look of relieved joy when Spike told her reality was what you made of it... And it made her real. The scene faded again as the two began discussing Harmon.  
  
"A monster," Joyce enunciated, "would never tell my baby something like that."  
  
He looked at Joyce, and unknowingly quoted Xander. "Vampires are monsters. They make monster movies about them. I'm a vampire. That makes me a monster, doesn't it?"  
  
She tilted her head. "Define 'vampire'."  
  
"A demon possessed corpse that feeds off blood. Without a ... soul..." He cocked his head, regarding the bundle in his arms. "Uh.. Then what the hell am I?"  
  
Joyce shrugged, quoting her daughter. "A human with a demon visage?"  
  
He considered. "A little long, but it'll do, I guess. What's next?"  
  
She reached into air, and pulled open a door. "You two have fought. Do you know that?"  
  
He winced. "Fought... But I thought she-"  
  
"Verbally."  
  
"Oh. Yeah. That I knew." He regarded the door. "Is this one of the sensitive ones, or do I just open it?"  
  
She smiled. "Go ahead. Open it."  
  
He opened it, having to step up to go through, since it hadn't set itself on the ground yet. He turned and helped Joyce through it as well, then turned and regarded the new scene in front of him.  
  
"I don't suppose you'll drop your jeans if I ask nicely." They watched Buffy wince, and tell him probably not.  
  
Joyce leaned forward to whisper, "She cut herself and bled into a mug for you." She frowned. "And she lied about it."  
  
He nodded. "I remember. I was so mad at her... But... Happy? Happy that she cared. Mad that she'd lied, and hurt herself. I didn't deserve it."  
  
Joyce turned his eyes back to the scene, Buffy was yelling at Spike. "Damnit don't demean yourself." Buffy shook her head. "I can't promise to not. If you got hurt again, I'd do it again."  
  
Spike watched, feeling the jumbled emotions that were coursing through him at that moment. Anger. Love. Slight fear. More love. More anger. He shook his head, looked at Joyce. "Is it always like this? Do we.. fight all the time?"  
  
She shook her head. "Not always... sometimes when you two feel insecure, you do. But mostly you get along pretty well."  
  
"We get along? I must still be missing some stuff."  
  
Joyce smiled, snapped her fingers and watched the scene change. "I really like doing that."  
  
He chuckled. "You're like Q from Star Trek... Uh, please don't tell anyone I said that, ok?"  
  
She grinned. "Swear." Pointed. "See?" It was the Summers' living room, at night, Buffy was saying something, and rubbing his palms.  
  
Spike grinned, remembering their game of Dare. "Yeah. That was a fun night. When she wasn't humiliating me."  
  
"Awww... the dance was cute. And making her put Mr. Gordo in the oven? That was just.... evil, Spike."  
  
"It was only for a second. Not even a second. And I wasn't talking about the dance. She made me beg." He snorted. "I don't beg for anyone."  
  
Joyce smiled. "That's my girl. What else would you like, or not like, to see?"  
  
He looked at her indignantly. "First I want an explanation, or an apology for the 'That's my girl', comment. That was horrible of her, torturing me like that."  
  
Joyce gave a small laugh. "Come on. That was feminine brilliance. Using tickling AND herself to torture you? Any mother would be proud."  
  
He tried to hide a smile. "It wasn't fair. She cheats."  
  
Tried to repress a smile. "Don't we all."  
  
Spike laughed. "Alright. Alright. You win. It was brilliant, ok? And maybe... JUST maybe, mind you, a little fun."  
  
She linked their arms. "Of course... just a little. Now. Pick."  
  
"Um... I don't know. What do the others think of me? They've all been so nice, lately. Specially Rupert. When did that happen?"  
  
She gave a pondering frown. "I can't... I'm not allowed to show you that. I can only give you memories. But I can show you things..."  
  
He nodded. "Ok. Lead on."  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------  
  
Joyce closed the portal on Giles telling Spike to rest up, get better. "Anything else you've missed?"  
  
He thought. "I don't know. I can't remember. You're supposed to be my guide. So guide me. What's next?"  
  
Joyce frowned. "I don't know how... legal this is, but... you should know." She opened a new door. "You got very sick. Had a vampire flu. My daughters took good care of you. But one day," she intoned as they started in his dream, "you were dreaming..."  
  
A dark room. Looking like one of the rooms in the old Crawford Street mansion. Spike, chained to a post, and Buffy, chained opposite him, unconscious, bleeding from many wounds. Druscilla walked in from the shadows. "Now, my Spike," the insane vampiress purred, cupping his cheek gently. "You still have the Slayer floating all about you. We have to do something about that..."  
  
"Dru, come on," the chained Spike said. "She has nothing to do with this. If I weren't chained up, I'd kill her in a second."  
  
Dru pouted, and raked her claw-like fingernails across his cheek, drawing blood. "I think you are lying, Spike. You know I hate lying. You are a naughty boy." She turned, and ran a dagger across the unconscious Slayer's arm, making a deep slash. Both Spike's bit their lips to keep from crying out.  
  
"Come on, Dru!", the chained Spike called imploringly. "Pet, really. I don't care about her. I didn't mean a thing I said. It was all a... game! A game, to see how long it would take to get in with her and her pals, so I could take all of them down from the inside. You know I love you, Dru. Only you."  
  
Dru turned, her fangs flashing. "Lies." She turned, and in one smooth motion, slashed the Slayer's throat.  
  
"NOOOOOO!", the real Spike cried, charging into the dream as it disappeared. He froze. Then turned, looking confusedly at Joyce.  
  
Joyce shrugged. "That's all even YOU remember. But Buffy heard... She heard what you said to Druscilla, about only loving her. How it was a joke."  
  
Spike's eyes got huge. "Oh no."  
  
Joyce directed his gaze to the new scene being set, Buffy slamming mugs down, walking out. Spike on the couch, holding in tears.  
  
He looked at Joyce. "She hates me again."  
  
Dawn came in, chatting with Spike, leaving, then returning. Joyce stayed silent.  
  
Spike turned back, wondering what was next.  
  
"Grow some," the teenager enunciated.  
  
Joyce's eyes grew wide. "That girl-"  
  
"-Is her mother's daughter, Joyce," Spike said with a laugh.  
  
She cast him a look, then nodded grudgingly. "She really is. But watch."  
  
He chuckled, and watched the scene again.  
  
Spike was on the couch, reading, slowly dozing off.  
  
He looked at the book. "Gone With The Wind... Why? Oh, yeah. It's one of Buffy's favorite movies."  
  
Joyce thought it was a very sweet gesture. Her angry daughter swept in the house, into the living room. Removed his book and glasses, tried to go upstairs.  
  
Spike woke up, called mentally to her.  
  
She rounded on him.  
  
They spoke for a few moments, Spike trying to explain, then he hit on an idea. Reaffirming the claim would allow her into his mind, and he had been meaning to do some cleaning in there anyway.  
  
Joyce said softly, "She wanted to go so badly. She didn't want to cry in front of you. Let you see how badly it hurt."  
  
He nodded. "But we had both promised, no more walking away."  
  
She smiled sadly. "She didn't care at that point. The only thing keeping her there was you."  
  
They watched as Buffy and Spike settled on the couch. When Buffy removed her shirt, Spike, much like his counterpart on the couch, averted his eyes. Only the "real" Spike had a rose colored blush creeping up his cheeks.  
  
Joyce tilted her head to stare off at an interesting part of the wall.  
  
"*Me in you...*" "You in me.." "*Always..*" "*Forever..*" The two on the couch stayed like that, frozen, attached to each other by their mouths and hands. And Dawn, in her Hello Kitty pajamas, slowly descended the stairs. Her eyes got big, and she quickly turned around, going back up twice as fast as she'd gone down. The scene faded as they pulled apart, and Buffy began nibbling at Spike's neck in a way that had nothing to do with claiming.  
  
Spike glanced at Joyce, embarrassed. Joyce had turned all the way around now. "Sorry...", the blushing vampire said.  
  
She smiled. "I'm not. You make her happy, when you're not frustrating the heck out of her."  
  
He grinned at her. "Joyce, there's somethin' I've been wanting to ask you. Well, two things, actually."  
  
She turned her head to smile at him. "Yes?"  
  
He walked until he was standing next to her. "One, am I your favorite of all Buffy's boyfriends?"  
  
She ran the back of her hand down his cheek. "Of course." As though it was odd of him to assume otherwise.  
  
He gave a happy purr. A different pitch than the one he used for Buffy. This one meant family type love. "Thanks. And two, since you're the only one who knew, and Buffy just upped and showed a prowess for it one day, did you tell her that I'm ticklish? Because I didn't, and she knew anyway. So, did you tell her?"  
  
Joyce tilted her head, thought. "No. We didn't talk much about you, unless it was very loud and angry. She always worried over me."  
  
He chuckled. "Ok. Fair enough. I wonder how she knew, though."  
  
"My daughter is very smart."  
  
"I knew that. And don't use woman's intuition as an excuse. That is a very personal thing, you know. I was embarrassed enough when you figured it out. Although," he said, smiling at the memory. "You did make me feel a lot better that day. Don't know if I've ever thanked you for that."  
  
She patted him. "You're very welcome." Her head cocked to the side, as if listening to something in her head. "I think you know everything you need to."  
  
He nodded, but looked sad. "I.. Don't want to leave you, Joyce. I miss you so much. It hurts. And I'm sorry that I wasn't at the funeral. I didn't even know...." He sniffled.  
  
She smiled fondly at him. "I know you don't. I don't mind. I want you to know... Buffy... took it very hard. She didn't think beyond keeping it together for Dawn... I'm sorry no one else told you."  
  
He wrapped her in a tight hug. "I know.. I wasn't even... No one cared then, anyway." He allowed the tears to fall on her shoulder, breathing in her scent, so much deeper in person than the lingering traces on the couch and some blankets. "I really miss you..."  
  
She squeezed him back, equally tight. "I'm always there, if you want to talk, or have some cocoa. Buffy was right..." She touched the charm on his necklace. "I did want that for you."  
  
He nuzzled her gently, fingering the charm. "Thank you, Joyce." He could feel himself starting to wake up, and tried to hold onto the dream a little longer.  
  
She kissed him gently, motherly, on the lips. "I love you, William. But you have to wake up... you're going to be late."  
  
"For what?", he asked, trying to ignore the fading of the dream.  
  
"... going to be late..." echoed dimly in his head.  
  
"I love you, Joyce!", he called into the fading dream, praying that she'd hear him. Knowing that this had been more than a dream.  
  
"... always love you, William..." The dream state was rapidly dissipating.  
  
Spike woke up, still chained to the chair, nothing in the room had changed, save for the very identity of the sole occupant. Spike was back. He grinned to himself, thinking how happy Buffy would be when she got home. Then he felt something. A pull. A cry of fear, pain, coming through the claim bond, followed by a singular feeling of hopeless terror... 


	30. Hey la, hey la...

The feelings that weren't his own continued to roll through Spike. Terror, pain, and hopelessness. Buffy was in trouble, there was no doubt about that. He tried to ask what was happening, using the claim bond, but she had blocked his thoughts and emotions. 'No bloody wonder,' he thought. 'Last time she saw you, you were bleedin' psychotic!' He tugged at the chains, he had to help her.  
  
The chains were tight, with handcuffs on his wrists and ankles, holding them to each other, and lengths of chain holding his legs and arms to the chair. He snarled with the effort of trying to break the chains, vamping to allow his full demon strength to emerge. The chains that held his legs to the chair were straining, but still holding. He gave a mighty tug, and the chair tipped over, allowing him to slip the chains off the legs of the chair.  
  
Once the chains were off the legs of the chair, they easily slipped off the handcuffs on his ankles, and he rolled away from the chair, unhooking his arms from the back of the chair. He struggled for a moment with the handcuffs, and finally gave a powerful yank, breaking the small chains that held the cuffs together, freeing his hands. He reached down and quickly broke the chain that was holding his ankles together. With a snarl, he scrambled to his feet and shot out the door at top speed, using the bond to guide him, praying to Whoever would listen that he wasn't too late to save them....  
  
----=======================================================  
  
Dawn didn't even scream this time as the huge demon hit her, Just snapped her head back, kicking and punching as hard as she could. Buffy had been tossed in the air, glancing her shoulder off a headstone, and Xander had at LEAST chopped the arm off his demon. They were large, angry, ugly, and their odds were not good. Five to three.  
  
Buffy climbed to her feet, the pain screaming in her head, glanced at Dawn, made sure she was all right. Never again was her baby sister patrolling. She began to fight with the demon again, with a renewed vengeance.  
  
Having lost his sword, Xander operated totally on instinct, grabbing the only weapon at his disposal, which happened to be the demon's severed arm, and beating at the one that had thrown Buffy.  
  
Dawn was scared. This thing was huge. Like, three times bigger than her. She picked up Xander's discarded sword, and sliced the head off the demon.  
  
Buffy was now on the back of hers, trying to wrap her arms around it, and she finally, effectively, snapped it's neck. Two down, yes... but three to go.  
  
Xander was flying... Or rather, he was thrown. He hit a small gravestone, and watched the world spin with a startling sense of deja vu. He didn't even see the demon raising it's clawed hand, preparing to deliver the death blow.  
  
Buffy followed the sound of the thud, watched Xander fall, the demon about to pounce. She had to try. Oh, God... Xander... She had to try. She started to run, fast as she could towards the demon.  
  
Dawn saw, too, but unlike Buffy, couldn't get away from her demon. She was in a battle to the death of her own. She muttered a quick prayer for everyone, and swung her sword.  
  
Suddenly, a snarling black leather blur slammed into the demon, effectively knocking it away from Xander. The two creatures rolled over twice from the new attacker's momentum, and stopped when the new person snapped the demon's neck and stood up. His yellow/gold eyes locked on Buffy's for a moment before vaulting across a tombstone to help Dawn.  
  
"DAWN!" Buffy scrambled after her sister. Oh, God... He was loose...  
  
Spike grabbed the demon's arm that was aiming to gut Dawn, and broke it at the elbow. This effectively turned it's attention to the pissed off vampire.  
  
Buffy grabbed her distracted sister, tossing Dawn behind her.  
  
The demon saw the Slayer, and attempted to attack the sisters.  
  
"Oh no you don't," Spike snarled at the demon, taking one of the chains that had been holding him to the chair and using it to trip the demon, then straddling it and breaking it's neck.  
  
Dawn gave a disgruntled noise as she landed in a pile on the grass.  
  
"Don't move," Buffy ground out at her, switching her attention to the vampire. Dawn nodded, even though Buffy's back was to her. She was terrified.  
  
Spike stood slowly, breathing hard, and looked at Buffy, his demon eyes taking on a hurt look when he saw Dawn's fear, and Buffy's defensiveness. He didn't even bother trying to explain, and turned to Xander, who was still leaning against the tombstone, walking toward him slowly.  
  
Buffy darted forward, staying between them, her chin raised to a battling level. Her hand gripped his arm, shoving him back a few paces.  
  
He ducked his head. "He needs help. He could have a concussion. Aren't you the one who warned me about those? Say it with me: Con-cuss-ion." The quote was deliberate.  
  
Her mouth moved, lower lip trembling. She was still wary. He had... broken chains... killed two Tralfgor demons in a row... "I'll tend him."  
  
He looked up, his human face to the fore. "Whatever you want, luv. I'm a little worried, though. Harris and I have been getting along a lot better since Dawn's birthday party." He sat on a tombstone, waiting for them to get it.  
  
Dawn was the first to embrace it, she rushed forward to kneel at the tombstone, her arms around his waist. "You remember!"  
  
He hugged her tightly. "Everything, Lil' Bit."  
  
Buffy reached out a hand. "Dawn, don't-"  
  
Dawn fixed her with a glare. "He remembers, Buffy. He loves us again." She looked into his eyes. "Don't you?" she questioned softly.  
  
He looked at Dawn, giving her one last squeeze, then looked Buffy in the eyes. He knew she could see it, could FEEL it, but he said it anyway. "*I love you, Buffy Anne Summers.*" The voice, the inflection, the emotion was the same as when he'd said it after the claim.  
  
The tension in her drained away, and her eyes shone with hope. She crossed slowly to where the two were. She pressed her lips to his. Waiting to see if his kiss was as she remembered it.  
  
God, had it been a week? His arms wrapped around her instantly, returning the kiss as if that week had been a century.  
  
She pulled back. It was his kiss. Not Spike's. God, that sounded ridiculous. But she knew what she meant. "I love you." She said it softly.  
  
Dawn, who had moved to the side, heard, and smiled. It was the first time she had heard her sister say that. But she tried to remember to ask Spike about the funny chirping.  
  
He leaned his forehead against hers. "*Always..*"  
  
"*Forever*."  
  
Dawn was puzzled. Her sister made funny chirpy noises, too?? She hated to interrupt, but... "Guys?"  
  
Spike glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, not wanting to pull back from the love of his existence. "Yeah, Bit?"  
  
She pointed. "Xander? Head wound? Con-cush-unnn...?"  
  
Buffy pulled back, to sprint to Xander's side.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about me, Lovebirds..", Xander muttered, pulling himself to his feet. "I'm fine, really. When did trees start growing out of the sky?" He sat down again. "This is probably a better idea."  
  
Dawn laughed, then stopped. "Oh. You were being serious."  
  
"Uh huh..", Xander muttered, answering Buffy. "I'm better. At lest I will be when the world stops spinning backwards and your twin who I can see through goes away."  
  
She cuddled him against her. "Why don't you close your eyes, tough guy?"  
  
Spike snorted. "What do you people do without me? It's a wonder you all survived last summer."  
  
Buffy grinned at Spike, then the smile faded. "Gimme your cell phone."  
  
He rooted around in his pocket, pulling out the phone, momentarily forgetting that Dawn would see it, and handing it to Buffy. "Want me to go for Rupert?"  
  
Dawn squealed, "Spike has a CELL PHONE!? How cool!!!"  
  
Spike promptly smacked himself on the forehead. "Damnit."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes at her sister. Started to dial. "It's almost one, Giles is gonna panic..." She let their home phone ring. While she let it ring, Buffy fixed Dawn with a firm stare. "This phone is off-limits to you at all times, under no circumstances are you to ever, EVER-"  
  
Spike stuck his tongue out at Dawn.  
  
"Giles! Giles, it's Buffy. I know... I know Spike isn't there... he's... here. With us. He remem- What? No, he didn't hurt us. I'm using his phone. Bu- Giles! We're fine! Well, except Xander but- No. Spike didn't hurt Xander. Dawn is fine. Giles.... Spike remembers everything. He's... as normal as he can be. Yes... yeah we're coming home. We... or, well, Spike, finished off a nest of Tralfgor demons. Have- hey, Buffy is talking. Giles is listening. Have ice packs ready. We'll be home in ten." She hung up the phone, handed it back to Spike.  
  
He tucked it back in his pocket, then looked worriedly at Xander and Buffy. "Want me to carry him?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "I can help. Dawn, I need you to gather weapons."  
  
"Gotcha," the Key said, going about her task.  
  
"I'm not a sack of potatoes, people," Xander said, weaving on his feet. "I can stand just..." He tipped over, and Spike caught him.  
  
"As of right now, Harris, you are a sack of potatoes, and if you struggle, I'll have Buffy knock you unconscious, so hold still." He shifted his human burden, the chains of his handcuffs clinking together, and started toward the gate of the cemetery.  
  
Buffy helped Dawn gather the weapons quickly, efficiently, and followed the two men. "Need help?"  
  
Spike shook his head, stepping carefully to avoid jarring his passenger. "No. We're fine." He smiled at Buffy. "I guess you believe me, huh?"  
  
"Your ki-" She stopped, remembered who their company was. "Yeah. I believe you."  
  
'Speak mentally, and finish what you started,' he thought to her with a knowing grin.  
  
'Your kiss... it's the same. Before... it... it wasn't your kiss.'  
  
He nodded almost imperceptibly. 'I know. I was there, you know.'  
  
She felt slightly shamefaced. "I know."  
  
Dawn gave her a funny look.  
  
Buffy said quickly, "I know you'll want to use his cell phone, but I want you to promise me, right now, that you won't ever go beg it off him."  
  
Dawn pouted petulantly, and said resignedly, "Fine. I promise."  
  
Spike bit back a chuckle, and tried to follow the new topic. "Yeah, Bit. I might let you use it. MIGHT, being the operative word. And, no fair tickling me into it, either."  
  
Her pout got deeper. "This sucks."  
  
"Too bad," Buffy told her. "I'd advise getting over it."  
  
"Then forget you know I have it," the vampire said playfully.  
  
Dawn walked a few steps ahead of them, pretending to pout, but trying to give them a little privacy.  
  
Spike smiled at her back. 'It's good that she's not scared of me. Especially after the way I snapped at her the other morning.'  
  
She gave him a look. 'She cried over that.'  
  
He flinched. 'God... I'm so sorry. I'll talk to her when we get home. Assuming Rupert doesn't want to kill me for breaking his handcuffs.'  
  
She nodded. 'It's ok. I mean, talk to her, but she's not... mad. It was just... hard for her.'  
  
'It was hard for everyone. And it's my fault. I should have known that stupid step ladder wouldn't hold me AND that bloody box. I'd still have amnesia if it weren't for...' He paused, noticing their location, outside the Summers home. "We're here. Could someone open the door? I've got an armload of semi-unconscious human."  
  
Dawn swung the door open, spilling in to talk a million words a second at a very befuddled looking Giles.  
  
Giles gently reached a hand out, and placed it over the hyperactive sixteen year old's mouth. "Slowly, Dawn. I can't listen that fast." He saw Spike carrying Xander, and hid a smile, then motioned for the vampire to lay his human cargo on the couch, which he did.  
  
Dawn pouted. Grown ups were so... slow.  
  
Buffy started fussing over Xander. She placed a towel-wrapped icepack on his lump. "Any better?"  
  
He winced, but grinned at her. "Of course. Come on, Buff. You know it'll take more than a gravestone to the head to get rid of me." He turned serious, glanced at Spike. "Hey, man. Thanks."  
  
"You're welcome," Spike said quietly, sinking into the recliner. He was exhausted. The adrenaline that he had been running on had run out.  
  
"And Spike?", Xander continued.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Good to have you back."  
  
The vampire opened one eye and grinned at Xander. "Good to be back, Harris."  
  
Buffy quelled the grin that threatened to split her face. Dawn had no such qualms. She yanked on Giles' hand, as if saying, "DID YOU HEAR THAT!?" Her grin was wide, and she jumped up and down once, quietly.  
  
Giles smiled at everyone in turn, even the vampire who now had his eyes closed again and was breathing as if he'd just won the Boston marathon. "It is good to have you back, Spike. I was beginning to think that I would have to put out an ad for a new companion guitarist."  
  
Spike just smiled, keeping his eyes closed.  
  
Buffy settled a blanket over Xander. "Dawn," she said softly, "Bedtime."  
  
"Yeah...", Xander said sleepily. "I think I'll just crash here, if that's okay."  
  
"It'd better be," Spike said quietly. "Cause I'm not carrying you across town twice tonight." He opened an eye. "Bit?"  
  
"Hm?" She was suddenly actually tired and considering not contesting Buffy's bedtime ruling on principle.  
  
"Want me to tuck you in?"  
  
She bit her lip, just like the Bitty Buffy she was. "Do you want to?"  
  
He opened the other eye. "More than anything. If you want me to."  
  
She nodded. "I really do."  
  
He got up, trying to stretch a stubborn, chained to a chair induced, kink out of his back unsuccessfully. He took her hand. "Lead the way, Niblet."  
  
She stopped, still holding his hand to give Buffy and Giles kisses. "Sleep tight," she told them both.  
  
"Love you," the two said at Dawn.  
  
"Night, Dawnie," Xander said with a half wave. Then he turned to Buffy as the vampire and Key went upstairs. "So, are you going to sing now?  
  
Buffy said confusedly, "Sing what?"  
  
"Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back," Xander said with a chuckle.  
  
She laughed, and instead of hitting him softly, she kissed his forehead. "I'm glad you're ok."  
  
He grinned. "So am I. I'm glad Spike's okay, too. I'll be damned if I know why."  
  
Giles chuckled. "You know why, Xander. You like him. He's your friend too. Admit it."  
  
"Nuh uh. I don't wanna."  
  
Buffy grinned. "C'mon, Giles... They don't like this. It just.. happened. Give them a little while to fake it."  
  
Giles smiled. "Ah, yes." He headed for the door. "I believe this house is quiet full enough for one night. I'm going to head home."  
  
Buffy stood, followed him to the door, and hugged him. "Sorry you came out for nothing." She tilted her head, considered. "Well, not really, but..."  
  
Giles smiled. "Believe me, it was worth the trip to see Spike carrying Xander." He chuckled. "Now I know I've seen everything. And Buffy? I'm glad you have the man you love back again."  
  
She gave a shaky smile. "Me, too."  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
Dawn snuggled beneath her covers, long sleeved pink jamma's on. The lullaby had already been sung, and Spike was just sitting on the side of Dawn's bed, having promised not to leave until she was asleep.  
  
One of Dawn's hands was out of the covers, holding Spike's hand. "Spike?"  
  
"Yeah, Bit?"  
  
She gave a small yawn, then, "Why did you... um.... chirp at Buffy?"  
  
He cocked his head. "Chirp..? OH! I was talking to her, Niblet. Speaking vampiric."  
  
"Oh... how come she can understand you and I can't?"  
  
"Because we claimed each other." He pulled down the neck of his shirt slightly, revealing the half moon claim mark. "See?"  
  
She let go of his hand to touch it gently. "Yeah."  
  
He smiled at her. "We have a connection, now. That's how I knew you were in trouble tonight."  
  
She smiled back. "And you saved us."  
  
He grinned. "Well, I had to. After all, I'm Super Spike!" He flexed his muscles playfully.  
  
She laughed sleepily. "You're normal Spike. And that's what counts."  
  
He smiled, and kissed her on the forehead. "Go to sleep, Bit."  
  
She tugged on his hand. "I'm really, really glad you're back, Spike. I was-" She stopped, gave a half smile. "Nevermind. I'm just glad you're back."  
  
He cleared his throat. "Bit.. Dawn.. I want to apologize for the last few days. I know I've been very short with you, and I was totally out of line. I feel horrible about it. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"  
  
She smiled at him, a ghost of Joyce across her lips. "You were scared. I understand."  
  
He smiled back at her, tears shining in his eyes. "Thank you, Bit. I love you, you know. You're my Niblet. My little sister. Family. I just wanted you to know."  
  
She halfway sat up, and halfway tugged him down to her level so she could hug him tightly. "I love you, too, big brother."  
  
He wrapped one arm around her, using the other one to keep himself from falling on her, squeezed as tight as he could without it being dangerous. And a single tear fell on her jammas. Spike sniffed as he pulled back. "Sorry."  
  
She gave a sweet smile. "It's ok." She snuggled down in her covers once again. She pointed to her forehead and closed her eyes.  
  
He kissed her forehead again, and tucked the blankets in around her. "Night, Bit."  
  
"Night, Spike."  
  
He headed for the stairs, intending to go out the front door and back to his crypt before sunrise. Xander was on the couch, so he couldn't stay there.  
  
'Spike?'  
  
He paused outside Buffy's closed door. 'Yeah, luv?'  
  
'You aren't leaving are you?'  
  
'I was going to. There's no place for me to stay, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna sleep in a chair again.'  
  
'Come in.'  
  
Slowly, very slowly, he opened the door and stuck his head in. "Hey, luv. What's a nice Slayer like you doing on a bed like that?", he whispered playfully.  
  
She smiled at him, wearing the same pale pink silk pants and lace top she had been when he had come around from the flu. "Just about sleepin', that's what," she said quietly. "Come on in."  
  
He entered, closed the door, and moved to sit in a chair.  
  
She sat on top of the covers, cross-legged. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Mostly ok. Like shit over what I've done the last few days, but other than that..." He shrugged.  
  
She shook her head. "You were scared. Didn't get what was going on. No one's mad at you."  
  
"I know," he said with an amazed tone. "Why aren't they?"  
  
She smiled. "We're too happy to have you back."  
  
"I noticed." He sighed and smiled. "So... This is what it's like to have friends, huh?"  
  
Small nod. "Yeah."  
  
He closed his eyes. "It feels good. Warm. Safe." He yawned. "Add sleepy to that, and you've got my mood right now."  
  
Buffy grinned. "Mine, too." She licked her lips, ducked her head. "Why don't you come lay down?"  
  
He gave her his 'should I really?' grin.  
  
Slow, sweet smile. Soft tug on the blankets.  
  
He smiled back, stood up, stretched, and winced at the kink in his back. Walked over and laid down on his stomach beside the Slayer.  
  
"Why don't you take off your shirt?"  
  
He gave her a slightly shy smile. "If you don't mind."  
  
She shook her head. "No. Go ahead."  
  
He slipped off his black tee shirt, frowned at it, and tossed it onto the chair that he had vacated a moment earlier. "Ug. I'll get my blue shirt tomorrow."  
  
"Ok."  
  
He made a pillow out of his arms and looked at Buffy, still on his stomach. "I love you."  
  
"I love you, too." She scooted closer to him, still sitting. Reached her hands to his back. "May- can I?"  
  
"Can you what?" His eyes were closed.  
  
She placed her hands on his back, started to knead it softly. "This?"  
  
He purred. "Oh. Of course. Any time you want. Take your time..."  
  
She did, running her hands over him, reacquainting herself with him.  
  
He pressed into her hands, purring loudly.  
  
She pressed one finger to his lips. "Shhh... Dawn's asleep." She started to knead his back, rubbing at the tension, pulled and stressed muscles she found there.  
  
He smiled and quieted his purring, but didn't stop. As if he even could if he wanted to. "*Dawn asked me about chirping at you earlier.*"  
  
She ran the heels of her hands down his spine. "What'd you say?"  
  
"*I told her that I was speaking vampiric, and that you understood me because of the claim.*" He pressed against her hands, arching up off the bed slightly.  
  
She kneaded the muscles over his ribs. "Ok."  
  
He let out a low moan of pleasure. "*God... Buffy.. that feels so good. I missed you.*"  
  
She ran one finger from the base of his neck to the waistline of his jeans. "I missed you, too." She kept kneading, rubbing, manipulating until she couldn't feel any tension in him.  
  
Spike felt like a limp noodle. He couldn't remember ever being this relaxed.  
  
Buffy placed a kiss at the base of his neck, then laid down next to him. She pillowed her head on her arms and tilted her head at him. "I'm sorry."  
  
He turned his head sideways, mimicking her movements. "For what?"  
  
She reached out a hand, ran a finger softly down the bridge of his nose. "I broke your nose."  
  
He grinned, and nuzzled her hand. "Not the first time. And it's fine now."  
  
She rested on her arms again. "Ok."  
  
He just smiled at her, then snuggled closer, slipping an arm around her.  
  
She turned her body into his. "I let him kiss me."  
  
"I know. It's ok. It was me, just an earlier version." He held her close, nuzzling and sniffing around in her hair.  
  
Her hands were wandering over him. "I wanted him to be you... now."  
  
"I know. You want to know something, though?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You did it again."  
  
She pulled back slightly, looked at him confusedly. "Did what?"  
  
He smiled. "Made me fall in love with you all over again."  
  
She smiled back. Kissed him softly.  
  
He returned the kiss, holding her close. "I was so scared. I felt.. your fear... I thought I was going to lose you again."  
  
She nuzzled into his neck. She was confused. "When?"  
  
"When the demons attacked you tonight. I felt it. I knew you were scared. I tried to call out to you, but you were blocking me. I don't blame you."  
  
She looked into his eyes, without a word, and removed her block, totally.  
  
He sighed. "Thank you." Nuzzled her head gently.  
  
She rolled slightly, making him lay partway over her. She smiled at him. "I thought I'd never do this again."  
  
"Do what?" He smiled back, enjoying their closeness.  
  
"Snuggle with you. Last year Spike was not up on cuddles."  
  
He grinned. "Yeah. I remember. However, Version 2.0 thrives on it."  
  
She said coyly, "I don't believe it."  
  
He chuckled. "Well, believe it, luv."  
  
She sighed, looked at the ceiling. "I guess you're just gonna have to prove it."  
  
He pulled her close, nuzzling her hair. "Does this tell you anything?"  
  
Her eyes drooped, but she said, "Mm... kinda."  
  
"Are you going to sleep?"  
  
Low laugh. "No way."  
  
He chuckled. "Then whatever will we do with our time?"  
  
"We'll have to be creative..."  
  
He actually rolled away from her, looking at the wall, his back turned. "Well... I might be tired..."  
  
She was ACTUALLY flabbergasted. She didn't know that people could ACTUALLY be FLABBERGASTED. "You could be.... tired?"  
  
He tried to hide a chuckle at her tone. "Maybe. You might have to figure out some way to wake me up."  
  
She plastered herself against his back, one hand reaching over his side to run up and down his chest, one leg hooking up over his. "Now... how would I.. wake you up?"  
  
He grinned. "I have no idea." God, this was fun.  
  
She ran one finger down the center of his chest, stretching as far as she could to kiss and nip at his back and neck.  
  
He shivered. "Ohh. That might work." Paused. "But I'm just soooo tired. I dunno..."  
  
She drew her tongue down the side of his neck, where it met the curve of his shoulder, bit softly.  
  
He couldn't keep it up for much longer, but he managed a very fake snoring noise.  
  
She smiled, moved her leg off his, still roaming her hands over his chest, and slowly started pressing kisses down his spine. Licked softly all the way back up to blow on it.  
  
Oh god. She knew how sensitive his spine was. He shuddered and moaned, then tried to cover it with another snore.  
  
She smiled. "Nice try." Nipped at his neck.  
  
He rolled onto his stomach, and grinned into the pillow. Snored again.  
  
She started in on his spine again, kissing, biting, licking gently, blowing on the moist trail.  
  
His eyes crossed. "*God, Buffy. Are you trying to kill me?*"  
  
"Just trying to wake you up," she said innocently.  
  
"*Wellllll... I'm still tired...*" Another faked snore.  
  
She ran her hands firmly down his ribs. Nipped at his ears. "I'm about to be bored."  
  
His ribs pushed him over the edge. He rolled quickly, his body winding up half on top of Buffy's, and he began kissing, nibbling and licking her neck and collarbone.  
  
The onslaught of *very* nice attention stole her breath, leaving her quite happily helpless to do anything but arch her back and sigh.  
  
He continued his path. When he came upon the healed bite from two days earlier, he paused, and began to kiss and lick at the site lovingly.  
  
She whimpered, her hips rising, and eyes closing.  
  
He kissed and nuzzled his way back up, pausing to tease the spot under her ear.  
  
"Mmmm..."  
  
He nibbled at the same spot, just the way he knew she liked it. His hand that wasn't occupied holding him up kneaded at her ribs, quickly finding that spot as well. He knew her as well as she knew him.  
  
A sigh shuddered past her lips. "I love you..."  
  
"I love you too, Buffy..." He melted. He loved it when she said it first. Nibbled on her earlobe.  
  
Her hands ran over his back, her head tossed back so he could do what he wanted.  
  
He kissed/licked back down to the claim mark, then paused, wordlessly asking permission.  
  
Slight moan of acquiesce.  
  
He vamped, and fitted his mouth into the claim mark. "*Me in you...*"  
  
A warmth stole over her, and she said, in less than a whisper. "You in me..."  
  
"*Always...*"  
  
Her hands tangled in his hair. "Forever..."  
  
"*Of love.*" Said together, in vampiric. Then Spike retracted his fangs and kissed the quickly closing wound. He relaxed next to her, his arm wrapped around her, purring quietly, happily.  
  
She was pulling in shallow breaths, her mouth still slightly open.  
  
'Tired now, luv?'  
  
She looked at him, eyes blazing hungrily.  
  
"Am I to take that as a no?"  
  
She pressed her lips to his, effectively sealing any protests he would have made. Now he was on his back, and she was half on top of him. A clean role reversal, not that either of them minded. She fit her mouth to his, moving over it hungrily. She had missed him. Her claim had missed him. Her heart had missed him. Her body had missed him. He returned the kiss, purring happily. She kissed down to her claim, licking it, nuzzling, nipping, kissing.  
  
He moaned, arching his back and pressing against her. He felt the same as she did. Everything in him was aching for her. His body. His heart. His soul. All hers.  
  
She fitted her mouth to the claim, and instead of biting down, kissed it tenderly. She looked into his eyes. "Of love."  
  
He broke, pulling her close and crying onto her shoulder. "God... Buffy.. I missed you so much..."  
  
Her eyes flooded, two tears escaping her. "I thought I'd never get you back."  
  
"Me too. And I wanted to be back. I wanted what you described so badly. I tried to force it. I'm sorry..." This was said around sobs as the crying vampire nuzzled her shoulder and neck.  
  
She hugged him fiercely, a small sob escaped her. "It's not your fault."  
  
He held her close, pulling her fully on top of him. "I know. I just feel like it is." He sniffled, trying to stop the tears.  
  
She nuzzled her head into his shoulder. Rolled, pulling him on top of her. Buffy joined their hands. "Don't leave me tonight?"  
  
He smiled at her and moved off her, keeping their hands entwined. He situated himself against her back and held her close. "Buffy, I thought you'd never ask." 


	31. Compromising positions.

Dawn had been up for about fifteen minutes, getting ready for the day, going down to see Xander, but he had said Buffy wasn't up yet. She climbed the stairs, knocked on her sister's door. "Buffy?"  
  
Buffy turned from her position of being half-sprawled across Spike's chest, his arms around her back. "Nnnngt?" The vampire didn't move, except for snoring quietly. -Who- was yelling at her? She was quite comfy right where she was.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
Buffy sighed, called semi-loudly, "Apocalypse?"  
  
Dawn was puzzled. Um, no... duh, O blonde one... "No, but-"  
  
Buffy reached over the side of the bed to pick up one of Spike's shoes, heave it towards the door, getting a rewarding, loud -*THUMP*- for her efforts. Dawn jumped back from the door. Did Buffy just THROW something at her?  
  
"Then I'm NOT in... Lemme sleep."  
  
Spike twitched in his sleep at the loud sound, waking slightly. "Ugnerrr?"  
  
Buffy put one hand over his mouth, but it was too late. Dawn had heard it. The teenager backed away from the door, a sly grin across her face. Oh, yes, she'd use this later. "Ok... have a good -sleep-, Buff." Dawn tromped down the stairs again, ready to do anything in her power to keep Xander occupied, assured Buffy was fine, and usher him out the door.  
  
On reflex, Spike nipped her hand. His eyes still closed. Buffy smiled down at Spike, and resumed her sprawl across his chest. It was one of the most comfortable sleeping positions she had found in a long time. He tightened his grip, purring in his sleep. Snored softly again. She kissed the part of his chest closest to her mouth, snuggling down.  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
Spike slowly awakened, and quickly realized that there was something on top of him. He opened one eye, blinking the post sleep haze away, and was greeted with blonde hair on his chest. Buffy. He smiled.  
  
Buffy sighed, her head nuzzling closer.  
  
He glanced at her wall clock, startled to see that it was almost noon. He gently began rubbing small circles on her back. "Luv?"  
  
Bigger sigh. "Mmm?"  
  
"It's 11:45. AM."  
  
"Lovely... Time and temperature, much?"  
  
"You're at 97.7 degrees."  
  
She gave a sleepy smile. "How nice."  
  
He chuckled. "Luv, we've been sleeping for nearly ten hours. Don't you think it's time to wake up?"  
  
She pouted. "No?"  
  
He chuckled again. "Well, I do. And I can't move. Seems someone dropped a Slayer on me."  
  
She got more comfortable, "Hm. 'Magine that."  
  
He purred. "What if I told you I have to use the restroom?"  
  
She rolled to her left, off of him. "I'd say it's that way." She pointed to the door.  
  
He propped himself up on an elbow. "Funny thing, I don't actually need to go. I just wanted you to move so I can do this.." He lay on his side, pulling her close, in similar positions to the way that they had fallen asleep the night before.  
  
She smiled. "Oh."  
  
He snuggled her close, absently running his hand up and down her side, over her stomach, and back to trail up and down her arm. He placed a gently kiss at the back of her neck and nuzzled her gently.  
  
She sighed happily, her hands coming to rest over his. "Good morning."  
  
"Sure is..." Kissed the back of her neck again.  
  
She snuggled back against him. He pulled her down slightly, so that her head was under his chin, and pulled the blankets tight around them, snuggling close. "I love you."  
  
Contented moan. "Mm... love you, too."  
  
He purred, nuzzling at the top of her head. "So, what're we doing today, luv?"  
  
She said decisively, "A whole lot of this."  
  
"I'm not arguing with a Slayer who's made up her mind." Faked an annoyed sigh. "Oh well, I guess I can stand it."  
  
She pulled his hands up to kiss the knuckles. "Good man."  
  
He chuckled, ending in a real sigh. One of total relaxation.  
  
She was happy, she realized. Content. This is where she wanted to be for a very long time. Maybe even years. Maybe with less clothes, but for now? This was perfect.  
  
He yawned. Loved, warm, happy, safe. This was perfection. His hand began wandering around Buffy's side and arm again.  
  
Her skin was tingling where his hand touched, and she let out a soft sigh.  
  
He paused his wanderings at the waistband of her tank top, wondering if she'd let him run his hand beneath it. It had been so long. He'd missed her. He needed to touch her, to familiarize himself with her all over again.  
  
Her hands reached down to cover his, her smaller ones on top of his larger, rougher ones. She slid their hands under her tanktop, smoothing them over her torso.  
  
He purred, his eyes closed to maximize the feeling. He let her hands guide his, remembering touching her before, but this was different. It was like the first time, all over again. Like looking at a painting, one you've seen before, and suddenly noticing all these new things that had always been there, but you'd just never taken the time to see. He was seeing now. With his hands, with his heart, and with his soul.  
  
Her own eyes closed, and her hands slid away from his, letting him touch to his content. He sighed, finally resting his hands just above her bellybutton. He continued to draw lazy patterns with his fingertips, but the wandering had stopped. He nuzzled her. "You are an amazing person, Buffy Anne Summers, did you know that?"  
  
"No." It was an honest answer to an honest question. "But you make me feel like it."  
  
"That's because you are. You feel what's already there. I just help you along, that's all."  
  
One hand reached back to play across his cheek. He nuzzled against her hand, purring softly. "Not that I really care why, or how, but... how did you remember?" She said softly, "It doesn't really matter how, I guess. I'm just.. glad you did."  
  
"I don't think you'd believe me if I told you."  
  
She grinned. "No? What'd you do? Have a dream, complete with a guide?"  
  
His eyes opened. "How did you guess?"  
  
She looked over her shoulder, giving him a disbelieving glance. "You're kidding. I was kidding."  
  
"I wasn't. I dozed off watching a bug crawling on the wall, and then I had to go pee, and wasn't chained up any more. I went upstairs, to the bathroom, and could see my reflection in the mirror. While I was looking at it, I noticed that the back wall of the bathroom was gone, and there were all these scientists watching me and taking notes, so I left, and followed a voice singing, and found my guide."  
  
She smiled. "Who was your own personal Jiminy Cricket?"  
  
"Dunno if I should tell you. It's someone you know. Or, rather, knew."  
  
She frowned, rolled over to face him, hands touching his chest. "Spike... you can tell me anything."  
  
He inhaled slowly. Then exhaled. "Ok. It was... your mum. Joyce."  
  
Her eyes grew slightly dull, blunted. Softly, "That's not funny."  
  
He winced. "I'm not joking. She was sitting in a chair, rocking a little bundle, and she handed it to me, saying that it was my soul, and that I had to take care of it."  
  
She was staring at his throat, her eyes not planning on moving up for a while. "Wow."  
  
"She lead me down this hallway. And doors kept appearing, behind every door was a memory. Some long, some short. And one of the doors was touchy and I had to ask it politely to open. And there was this guy, with two slices of cheese on his head, and Joyce told him that 'the power of cheese is downstairs on the left'."  
  
She bit her lip. "A cheese guy, huh?"  
  
"Yeah. It was weird. Funny, but weird. And Joyce got after me for laughing at him."  
  
"Oh." She bit her lip harder.  
  
"And she'd get after you for chewin' on your lip, luv. So drop it. If you're gonna laugh, laugh. I don't mind."  
  
She finally looked up at him, and her eyes were nowhere near laughing. "She never visited me."  
  
"It... it was just a dream, luv." He cupped her cheek. "It's not like 'I see dead people', or anything like that." He paused. "Ok, let me rephrase that. I do see dead people. All the time, but not when I'm asleep, usually. It was a dream, not a visitation."  
  
She shook her head slowly. "I think it was. And you do, too. Please don't lie to me."  
  
He averted his eyes. "I'm... sorry."  
  
She took a deep breath. "Did.... did she say anything?"  
  
"A lot of stuff. About anything in particular? Other than repeatedly telling me to watch my language."  
  
"Me?" It was quiet, questioning.  
  
He closed his eyes, thought hard. "She said that she is always there, watching over us. Most of the time, anyway. And that if I let fear paralyze me, I wasn't worthy of you and Dawn. And that you didn't have easy dreams for a month after Willow did that spell where we were engaged. And that you have a large heart... and.." He gave a small grin. "She got after me again for making you put Mr. Gordo in the oven. And that when you were messing with me on the couch it was a 'stroke of feminine brilliance'. Oh, and that I make you happy, when I'm 'not frustrating the heck out of' you."  
  
She looked at him hopefully. "She said I have a big heart?"  
  
He smiled. "Yep. And complemented me in the same sentence."  
  
She smiled. "And she... she's... happy about... this?" She put her hand over his heart.  
  
"She said that I was her favorite of all your boyfriends, if that answers your question."  
  
Buffy's smile widened a little more. "Good."  
  
He grinned. "Made me feel pretty good too."  
  
She pulled closer to him. "I'm trying really hard not to envy you."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Mom visited you."  
  
He nuzzled her. "Want to know why she hasn't visited you?"  
  
"Yes." It was slightly sad, petulant, and confused.  
  
He sighed, nuzzled her again. "This is just my opinion, ok? I don't know for sure."  
  
She nodded. "Ok."  
  
"I think that she visited me because I was weak. I couldn't do it on my own, and I've been going to her for a long time when I needed a shoulder to cry on. But you. You have always been determined to handle everything by yourself. Not all the time, but you've never been at that point where you just can't do it by yourself, and need help. If you ever reach that point, she will come. I think you're just too strong, Buffy. You don't need guidance anymore. You're on the right path. I fell off, and she had to help me get back on. But, if you really want a visitation, why don't you just ask? Before you fall asleep, ask your mum to come. It might work. I used to do that with my sister when I was a teenager and needed someone to talk to, and she always came." He smiled. "Of course, this is just one vampire's humble opinion."  
  
She nibbled on her bottom lip. "You think she might come?"  
  
"If I know Joyce, I have no doubt."  
  
Buffy smiled softly. "I really miss her."  
  
"Me too, luv." He gave a sad smile. "Want to know what the last thing she said to me was?"  
  
Her eyebrows lifted in askance.  
  
"I missed the first word, because I was waking up, but she said.. '..always love you, William'." A tear ran down his cheek. He sniffed. "She loves me."  
  
Buffy wiped away his tear with her palm, said softly, "I told you she did."  
  
"I know, but it's a little different than hearing it directly from her, you know?" He nuzzled her hand.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
He remembered something else. "Oh, and I asked her something, and she said she didn't tell you, but she was the only one who knew, so I'm gonna ask you now, ok?"  
  
"All right..."  
  
He grinned. "How the hell did you figure out that I'm bleedin' ticklish? I know your mum knew, but if she didn't tell you, how did you guess?" He made a quiet snorting sound. "Joyce just said that you are very smart."  
  
"I am. But Mom told Dawn. Dawn told me in one of her 'Spike is a Decent Guy' tirades."  
  
He play growled, trying to sound as if he meant it. "She just lost all three strikes."  
  
Buffy smiled, and tucked herself up under his chin. "But you're not gonna move to go get her, are you?"  
  
"Not right now. But next time I see her, she gets it."  
  
Buffy nodded. "Which will be tonight. After nightfall. After you climb out the window, go home and change, and then come back."  
  
He chuckled. "You don't think she knows that I spent the night, luv?"  
  
"She doesn't."  
  
"I made a noise earlier, when you threw my shoe at the door. Didn't you catch her tone?"  
  
She sighed at him. "You're being paranoid. She didn't hear anything."  
  
He chuckled again. "And I quote.. 'have a nice -sleep-, Buffy'. She didn't think you were sleeping, and knew I was here."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Spike. Hunni. She knows that I had a long day, and I don't have to work. All's well and good in Ignorance Land, population Dawn."  
  
"Don't call me 'Hunni'. I hate pet names."  
  
"Mm-kay."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Anytime, Pooh Bear."  
  
He growled. "No. Pet. Names. Strike one."  
  
She pouted, sticking her bottom lip out.  
  
He chuckled. "I don't like Pooh, anyway. Tigger is way better."  
  
Her bottom lip stuck out further. Mega-pout.  
  
He bit back a laugh. She was just too cute when she did that.  
  
She accompanied it with a small huffing noise.  
  
He laughed, and tried to hide it with a snort. "Ok, luv. You win. What do you want?"  
  
She smiled. "Just to win. And hear you say, 'All is well in Denial Land, population Dawn. Your sister doesn't think you've had me in here all night doing sordid steamy things. I'll creep out at nightfall and knock on the door an hour later like a normal vampire.'"  
  
He sighed. "What if I don't want to say that?"  
  
"Then I pout again. And just toss you out the window at nightfall."  
  
Now his lip stuck out.  
  
She frowned. "Stop it. And did you like my big word?"  
  
He continued pouting. "What big word?"  
  
Now she pouted. "Must not have been good. Sordid."  
  
He tried not to laugh, to keep the pout going. "Six letters isn't a big word. Quick quiz. What's the longest word in the dictionary?"  
  
She arched her eyebrow. "Yousuckawholelotyoubigmeanythunderstealer?"  
  
He could not figure out how she'd said that with a straight face. He lost the pout, dissolving into laughter. "...no..no." Took a deep breath. "Antidisenstablishmentarianism."  
  
Her pout held. "I like my word better."  
  
"Strike two. Quit pouting, or you're pushing three."  
  
Her pout dissipated, but she said with a slight frown-line between her eyebrows, "Do you think I'm dumb?"  
  
"No. I agree with your mum. You're very smart. I've just been around a lot longer."  
  
Her eyebrows quirked inward again. "Oh."  
  
"What now?"  
  
Shook her head. "Nothing." Smiled at him. Leaned up and nipped his bottom lip. "Had a good pout there for a minute."  
  
He chuckled, rumbling deep in his chest. "Me, or you?"  
  
She scoffed. "Mine was perfect. Yours was good."  
  
"I just can't hold it around you. You always make me laugh. You're good at that. It's a way that you're like your mum."  
  
She smiled. "Thank you." She nudged him. "C'mon. Mine was perfect."  
  
He sighed. "Well.... it was okay..."  
  
She gasped. "WHAT?"  
  
He managed to keep a straight face. "A 4.6, maybe..." Rolled over, his back to her.  
  
She was making fish-face. Pulled a resolve-face, and pulled him toward her, yanking on his shoulder till he was on his other side, facing her.  
  
'Don't laugh, don't laugh. Make it believable...' "Yes, luv?"  
  
"Four. Point. Six? Maybe??" She huffed out a huge sigh, got a slightly hurt look in her eye, and pushed out her bottom lip.  
  
"5.0?"  
  
Bottom lip trembled a bit, pushed out a teeny bit more. Big, sweet, innocent blink.  
  
"5.8, I think." He rolled over again, gripping the side of the bed to keep her from turning him over again.  
  
She sat, in total disbelief. Swung her side of the covers back.  
  
"Something wrong, Sweetie?"  
  
She huffed. "No. I'm just going to go downstairs and have breakfast, where they appreciate people with perfect pouts."  
  
He waited until she walked around the bed, heading for the door, then grabbed her by the back of her tank top and swung her back onto the bed. "10.0."  
  
She grinned up at him. "I know."  
  
Play growl. "That SHOULD be strike three, but I'm feeling generous."  
  
She kissed him gently.  
  
He grinned and laid back, pulling her so that she was practically sitting on top of him.  
  
She traced patterns over his chest, smiling down at him.  
  
He grinned up at her. "Have you gotten taller, luv?"  
  
"Mm... Dunno. Could be that I'm kneeling in your lap." She leaned down, kissed at the space between his collarbones. "Better?"  
  
He purred. "*I don't mind as long as you aren't going anywhere.*"  
  
She kissed down his chest, then back up, nibbling at his neck, running her hands down his arms until her fingers touched his, tangled them.  
  
He grinned up at her. "I don't even have words for how you make me feel, Buffy. I wish I did, so I could write them down."  
  
Her eyes heated and her body felt liquid. She kissed his lips, let her tongue play over them, coaxing his mouth open. He quickly responded, closing his eyes and allowing their tongues to mimic the dances that had been going on between them for years. Her hands gripped his more tightly, pulling back to nibble at the corners of his mouth. She went back to his mouth, tugging at his bottom lip. "... so pouty," she mumbled.  
  
Spike moaned quietly, and nuzzled their noses together.  
  
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Buffy? It's nearly two in the afternoon. Are you ever getting up?"  
  
She jerked to a full sitting position. "Xander! Um... yeah... I... I am..."  
  
"Cool. You need anything? Want me to come in?"  
  
Spike gritted his teeth to keep from chuckling, and an evil idea popped into his head. He reached up, and began walking his fingers up the Slayer's ribs, heading for the top one.  
  
"What do you want to eat when you come down? I've been declared official cook for the day."  
  
She swatted desperately at Spike's hands. "NO! Don't come in.... um..... ya know, not dressed. Um... Do we have anything... Um..." she thought of something they were out of. "Steak!"  
  
'I'm just returning the favor from when you were invisible, Slayer,' the vampire thought, one hand finding the top rib and playing on it very lightly.  
  
"Xander... I am... totally craving steak."  
  
Other hand up, both ribs now.  
  
"Ok. I'll have to go get some. Is there anywhere that has it on sale?"  
  
"UM!" High pitched squeal. "Hansen's Market!" She was grabbing his hands. "There's.. I've got... money..." gasp for breath. "in the envelope on the island in the kitchen."  
  
Spike tried not to chuckle, and continued his assault, digging in slightly.  
  
"Are you ok, Buffy?"  
  
"Fine... Cold air hit me, is all. Seriously not dressed though, so please don't come in." She was giving him desperate looks.  
  
Xander said something unintelligible, as if speaking to someone behind him. And they heard Dawn giggling.  
  
Spike stopped, knowing that the moment Buffy opened her mouth again, he would start the attack anew. But for the moment, he relaxed, not allowing her to expect it.  
  
"Xan?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can you hurry? I'm starving."  
  
"Ok. Is there anything else? Should I pick up any butcher's blood for Spike? You know, just in CASE he drops by later?"  
  
Spike readied himself, knowing her next sentence would be her downfall.  
  
"Mm-Bu- Sure... ya never know, he's popping up all over the place lately."  
  
Spike shook with silent laughter at her hasty comment. Xander, for his part, seemed clueless.  
  
"Ok. See you in a while. I'm gonna take Dawn with me."  
  
"Ok! Tell her to behave."  
  
"You know it." There were footsteps going down the stairs.  
  
Spike continued to shake, his teeth gritted and eyes closed to keep from laughing.  
  
She gave him a sound smack in the shoulder. "Oh my God," she muttered at him quietly. "What's wrong with you??"  
  
He snorted, and responded mentally, not trusting himself to talk. 'Remember what you did to me when you were invisible and Xander came in? Payback's a bitch.'  
  
She swatted at him again. "You son of a bitch. I was invisible. Xander could have come in here, however, and seen you quite easily!"  
  
Upon hearing the front door close and lock, Spike let out the laughter that had consumed him since her 'popping up' comment. "Sorry... Sorry... But you have to admit, this isn't half as compromising as that was. We're dressed, mostly, at least."  
  
"Spike... I was invisible. No compromising there. Just.... invisible." She looked down at him from her kneeling-across-his-lap position. "THIS isn't compromising?"  
  
"Do you even realize what you said back there?", the laughing vampire asked.  
  
She stopped, thought about it a minute. Her eyes grew round. "Oh my God," she moaned pathetically.  
  
He had been trying to wind his laughter down, but started back up again at her moan. "God, Slayer. That sentence was more compromising than our positions."  
  
She climbed off his lap and the bed, and handed him his shirt.  
  
He sat up. "Am I leaving? It's day, luv."  
  
She sighed, and scurried out the door of her bedroom to root around in Willow's room a minute. She came back carrying a white button-up shirt. "Here. Put this on, it's Giles, he left it when you were sick, go do something with your hair, and when they come back, you will be sitting downstairs on the couch, like you just got here."  
  
He nodded, relieved that she wasn't throwing him out. He'd just been playing, after all. He put the shirt on, buttoning all but the top two, and ran his fingers through his hair annoyedly. "Stupid bloody curls. Straighten out!"  
  
She sat huffily on the bed, and started smoothing out his hair. "There."  
  
He purred at her touch. "Thanks. Are you mad at me?"  
  
She sighed. "I don't think so. I just.... don't want to have to explain anything, or make it look like we were sleeping together. We were just sleeping together, ya know?"  
  
"We were sleeping together, not SLEEPING together. They'd understand. Don't you think?"  
  
She arched her eyebrow at him. "Do YOU? Turn around. I'm getting dressed."  
  
He obediently turned his back, forgetting to stop the thought of, 'Nothing I haven't seen before...oops.' "Sorry, luv. Ignore me, please."  
  
She gave a half grin, grabbed a low riding front lace pair of jeans and an off the shoulder deep green peasant blouse. She stripped quickly, dressed again even more hastily. "Ok."  
  
He laid back, regarding her upside down. "By the way, luv. There is one thing I don't remember."  
  
"What?" She sat at her vanity, running a brush through her hair.  
  
"What strike am *I* on?"  
  
She gave him a look. "You are pushing three." She started putting on makeup.  
  
He swallowed. "Uh oh." Grinned. "You wouldn't mind telling me what will happen when I hit three, would you?"  
  
She grinned ferally at him in the mirror, swept blush across her cheekbones. "Anything I want."  
  
He chuckled. "Should have known." 


	32. 28 days and Hail Mary's to Pamprin.

"GO GO GO GO!!", Spike and Xander yelled, standing up off the couch. "YES!" Spike flopped back onto the couch, and Xander did a little dance. "Touchdown!!"  
  
Spike chuckled. "YOU didn't make the touchdown, Harris."  
  
Xander sat back down, slightly embarrassed. "Yeah, but we're winning. So the dance is justified."  
  
Spike just chuckled again, glancing toward the kitchen.  
  
Buffy grinned at Dawn while they made 'game food' as Xander called it. Sloppy Joes, nachos and salsa, and enough beer to float an ark. Buffy came out with a bowl of the tortilla chips balanced in one hand, the salsa bowl balanced in the other. "I come bearing gifts."  
  
Xander grinned. "Yay." He reached for the bowls. Spike stood up and helped Buffy carry the bowls.  
  
"Hasn't anyone ever taught you to help a lady, Harris?", the vampire asked semi-playfully. He looked to Buffy. "Got anything else I can help you with, luv?"  
  
Xander, for his part, snorted at Spike, and trotted into the kitchen to help Dawn.  
  
She smiled. "Nope. Watch your game. Do man things. Is Giles coming?"  
  
Spike sat back down, but the game was in commercial, so he turned to Buffy. "He said he was coming around eight, to catch the end of the game. Something about helping Anya at the shop." He dipped a chip in the salsa and ate it. "Want to sit down?"  
  
She shook her head. "Food to fix, still." She gave a very very excited smile. "See? Xan's a great guy."  
  
He gave a dismissive hand gesture, but his eyes were shining. "I guess he's not so bad... For a human."  
  
She nodded and went back to the kitchen. She found Xander trying to sneak a piece of hamburger for the sloppy joes. She smacked at his hand. "Bad."  
  
Xander made a whimpering puppy noise. "When Spike eats all the food, and I starve to death, you are going to be sorry," he said self righteously, marching back to the living room with a bowl of potato chips. "HEY! Hand's off, vampy. My chips."  
  
There was a play growl, followed by two yelps, a crash, and a crunching noise.  
  
Buffy and Dawn rushed to the doorway, ready to scold. And promptly burst out laughing.  
  
Spike and Xander were on the floor between the couch and the coffee table, in a mess of chips, and Xander had the potato chip bowl on his head. Both men were trying to look angry with the other one, and also trying to keep from laughing. Spike had chip crumbs on his head, showing that he was the first to wear the bowl.  
  
Buffy just stared, her mouth open and silent laughter pouring out. Dawn, however, was leaning against the wall, pointing, and laughing.  
  
Spike and Xander looked at them indignantly. "It's not funny..", they said in unison, then stared at each other. "Stop that. You first."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, came forward and took the bowl off Xander's head, brushed the crumbs out of his dark hair. "Ok, boys. Opposite ends of the couch."  
  
Spike stood up, hesitant to open his mouth, lest Xander say the same thing as him for the fourth time. But he helped Xander up, and the two brushed crumbs off each other and finally allowed themselves to laugh. Spike shook himself, trying to get rid of the crumbs that had gone down his shirt and were making him itch.  
  
Dawn went back to stir the sloppy Joe's, and Buffy slipped upstairs. The two almost friends settled back on the couch, and shared the chips that had survived, returning to watching their football game.  
  
In the bathroom, she opened the medicine cabinet, grabbed a bottle and poured three pills into her hand, almost crooning her own personal sonnet to Pamprin. After a gulp of water to wash them down, she returned downstairs, and snagged Dawn from the kitchen. 'Women's work' time was done. It was play time now.  
  
Spike and Xander were wrestling on the couch, trying to get the remote. Spike wasn't even trying to use his vampire strength against the human. And Xander seemed to be losing anyway, until he poked Spike in the stomach, causing him to yelp and lose his grip on the remote. "Hey! Not fair!"  
  
Xander settled back. "Ha. Now I get to pick what we watch during halftime."  
  
"All humans cheat..", Spike muttered good-naturedly.  
  
Buffy sailed in, swiped the remote, with Dawn, in a righteous flurry behind her. "Nope," the Key said sonorously. "We do."  
  
"HEY!", the males said.  
  
"Slayer!"  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
"Nuh-uh. We -cooked-, you ingrates."  
  
Spike grinned at Xander. "Well, she does have a point."  
  
Xander made an annoyed noise. "Yeah. But I fought for that remote."  
  
"You would have lost, if you hadn't bloody poked me!"  
  
"Maybe, but it was funny."  
  
Play growl. "I'll show you funny."  
  
Buffy and Dawn turned it to the "Breakfast Club", on TBS.  
  
Xander jumped up to avoid the vampire's playful pounce and ducked behind Buffy's chair. "Help! Slay him. Do something!"  
  
Spike growled quietly and stalked around the end of the coffee table.  
  
"Spike!" Buffy called from her place on the floor by the middle of the couch, Dawn beside her. "Shhh!! We're watching."  
  
Dawn popped up, chips flying from her mouth as she proclaimed, "I'll save you, Xander!!" Pounced at Spike.  
  
Spike tried to dodge, but was knocked onto the couch by the hyperactive Key. "Oof!"  
  
"Get him, Dawnie! Get him!", Xander chanted. This was BETTER than the game.  
  
She gave Spike a huge smile, while Buffy scooted closer to the TV, turning it up over them. "Hey, buddy."  
  
He growled through his grin. "Geroff me, Niblet."  
  
She tapped his nose. "Dunno. You made chips crumble in my neat and tidy living room."  
  
He snorted at her. "Bordering on the third strike."  
  
She gave him a fake evil-glare. "Well, you're bordering on two."  
  
"Two isn't dangerous."  
  
"But I am."  
  
"Yeah. Right. Get off."  
  
She made a shocked face. Looked at Xander imploringly. "Tell him! Tell him how dangerous I am!!"  
  
Xander, who was now sitting on the arm of the couch. "Oh, she's very dangerous. When she actually wants to hurt someone. But you're safe. She won't hurt you."  
  
Spike chuckled. "I know that. It's not her hurting me that I'm worried about. Get off, Bit."  
  
She pouted, then looked at the TV. The prom queen and loser in the closet. Her FAVORITE part. She clambered off him, to sit by Buffy in front of the TV, now entranced.  
  
Spike chuckled and rolled on his side to watch the movie. Xander shifted slightly. "Uh, Buff? You know that half time will be over before the movie ends, right?"  
  
She waved a hand backwards at him. Didn't take her eyes from the screen.  
  
He cleared his throat. "A-hem! Remote, please."  
  
The girls let out twin, indignant, "Shhhhhh!!"'s.  
  
Spike grinned, not taking his eyes off the screen. "Relax, Harris. As long as we don't miss the end of the game, it'll be fine. Besides, this is a good movie."  
  
Xander looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You've seen it?"  
  
"Awhile ago. And I don't remember all of it, so shut up and let me watch!"  
  
Buffy crunched a chip. "I love Judd Nelson." Dawn gave an agreeable sigh. Spike chuckled, and Xander leaned back. Oh well, it was three to one. He'd just have to wait for Giles.  
  
At a commercial, Buffy sighed and handed the remote back to Xander.  
  
He just looked at it. "What's this for?"  
  
She was still in 'fuzzy-movie-haze'. "Change the channel while you still have hope."  
  
"But now I want to see how it ends."  
  
Spike laughed. Dawn had made her way up onto the couch and was laying with her head at the opposite end from his, with her legs on top of his legs. "So, now even Xander wants to see the movie. You win, luv."  
  
Buffy smiled, still sitting cross-legged, too close to the TV for good viewing health.  
  
Xander clambered down onto the floor next to her, pulling her back so that their backs were against the couch. "This is better, don't you think?"  
  
Spike let a hand dangle off the couch to rest on Buffy's shoulder. "Works for me."  
  
She smiled at Xander. "Much better." One hand reached up to touch at Spike's hand for a moment, then dug for more chips.  
  
There was a knock at the door.  
  
Buffy, knowing she had seen the movie more than anyone else there, dragged herself to her feet, muttering the whole time. She swung the door open.  
  
"Hello, Buffy," Giles said. "I hope I'm not too early."  
  
She smiled. "Hey, Giles! No, we're watching the Breakfast Club!" She said proudly, "Dawn and I triumphed over your stinky Manchester United."  
  
"It is NOT 'stinky', Buffy," Giles said, entering the house. "And as long as the movie is over before the end of the game-"  
  
He was interrupted by Spike's voice from the living room. "There'll still be forty minutes of the game left, Rupe. Assuming no overtime."  
  
"Ah, good." Giles settled himself in the recliner. "I don't believe I've ever seen this movie. What is the story?"  
  
"Oh, it's great," Dawn bubbled. "All these kids who have nothing in common all have morning detention, and by the end, they're... allies, if not friends, and four of the five have hooked up."  
  
Giles made a disinterested noise. "Oh. A teen movie."  
  
Spike cocked his head. "I like it, Rupert. And I'm further from being a teen than you are."  
  
"Waaaaaay further," Xander added with a chuckle.  
  
Spike play growled. "Watch it, Harris."  
  
Buffy did another backwards swat. "Much with the shush-ing."  
  
"Sorry, Buff," Xander said. "Someone is being annoying."  
  
"Gee. I wonder who?", Spike whispered to Dawn.  
  
Dawn laughed, then pushed the bowl of chips over the the chair while Giles was.  
  
"Thank you, Dawn," the Watcher said, taking a small handful of chips. Noticing that there was a commercial, he looked around. "I take it that everyone is getting along tonight?"  
  
"Yup!" Buffy shot him a hopeful, happy covert grin.  
  
Giles let out an exaggerated gasp. "Good lord, you mean that Xander and Spike are actually getting along."  
  
"He put the chip bowl on my head," Xander said.  
  
"You dumped it on me first, Harris."  
  
"You knocked me off the couch!"  
  
"You poked me!"  
  
Giles chuckled and followed Buffy, pausing to give Spike a playful pat on the head. The vampire responded by making a cross between a familial purr and a growl.  
  
She gave Giles a big grin as soon as they were alone in the kitchen. "Did you see? The... no-gaping-wound-ness of it?"  
  
Giles smiled. "Yes. Do I dare say that they are becoming friends?"  
  
"Maaybe." Quick frown, a hand to her lower abdomen. She started to put Sloppy Joe... stuff on buns, and on plates.  
  
Back in the living room, Spike suddenly made a strangled yelping sound, and put a hand on his stomach. "Ow."  
  
"What's up?", Xander asked curiously.  
  
"Dunno. Felt like someone punched me in the gut for a second." He considered. "Well, it's gone now."  
  
Buffy started carrying the plates out, three sandwiches to a plate for Spike and Xander.  
  
"Oh boy! More food!", Xander said happily, totally forgetting Spike's momentary problem in favor of grabbing a plate.  
  
Spike grinned. "Uh, luv? Could you hand me mine? My legs are tangled in a Key right now."  
  
She smiled, handed him his plate. "Yours is next, Dawnie." As she walked back to the kitchen her fingers grazed the back of his neck. Spike let out a quiet purr at the brief touch, and took a bite of a sandwich. That is, half of it in one bite, and chewed happily.  
  
Buffy handed Giles his and her plates and carried out Dawn's to her. "Here ya go, pretty lady."  
  
Dawn quirked a smile at her. "Andrew calls me that."  
  
Spike refrained from growling, to his credit. But Xander let out a snort, allowing Spike to be the good one for a moment.  
  
"Now Harris. Mind your manners."  
  
Xander fish mouthed at him. Thankfully, he had already swallowed his bite of Sloppy Joe, or it would have been quite disgusting.  
  
Dawn tucked her hair behind her ears, and took a bite. Grinned at Buffy. "Besht dish," she told her, tipped her head up to prevent the food from falling out.  
  
Buffy laughed, but her cramps were growing in intensity. Oh, well. She'd ignore 'em, just like she did every month.. or, ya know, whenever Flo decided to visit.  
  
Spike nearly dropped his sandwich when a sudden, and extremely personal pain gripped a certain unmentionable body part. He let out a high pitched yelp, at a frequency that only vampires, dogs, and Slayers can hear, and one hand dropped to his crotch. He quickly set his plate in his lap to hide it.  
  
Buffy gave Spike a funny look. 'Are you ok?'  
  
'Dunno. Hurts. Bad. But I think it's gone now.' He cocked his head. 'Felt like I was stuck in a vise for a moment.'  
  
She arched her eyebrows questioningly, and bit into her sloppy Joe. Mm... tasty.  
  
Spike finished his last sandwich, and left the plate in his lap, just in case whatever had bitten him before came back. He tried to concentrate on the end of the movie.  
  
The movie ended, and Dawn sighed. "How sweet. I totally love how the freak and the jock hook up."  
  
Spike nodded distractedly, watching the floor for anything with a vise.  
  
Xander agreed with Dawn. "Too bad it only happens in the movies, huh?"  
  
Giles said nothing, due to being asleep in the recliner.  
  
Buffy snatched the remote, turned it back to the game, and, confusing everyone there, since Man United was UP, by screaming, "NOOOOOO MAN UNITED IS BEEHIND A GOAL!!!!!"  
  
Giles rocketed straight up into the air crying, "What?! What?! Where!?"  
  
Buffy slapped a hand over her mouth, muffling her giggling.  
  
Xander laughed, having seen the scoreboard the moment she switched it over. "Very funny, Buffy."  
  
Spike let out a strangled moan, and stared at his crotch without meaning to. Ok, that did it. There was an invisible demon with an invisible vise that was determined to neuter him somewhere in this room, because he'd just felt it again.  
  
Buffy looked at him again. "Spike... It's ok. Man United isn't really losing."  
  
"I know. Somethin' bit me," he muttered, tipping up the empty plate slightly, looking for whatever was causing this excruciating pain every two minutes.  
  
Buffy's and Dawn's heads swiveled to stare where he was looking.  
  
He quickly put the plate back into place.  
  
Dawn's nose curled. "That is SO a personal problem that doesn't need discussin."  
  
But not quick enough, apparently. "Sorry."  
  
Dawn just scootched her legs away from his a bit. "No problem..."  
  
He stood up. "I'm, uh.. Goin' to the bathroom for a moment. Tell me who's winnin' when I get back." He headed up the stairs, walking like a sick duck and moaning again when the pain struck once more.  
  
Buffy waited a minute, then followed him. No sound from the bathroom, save an occasional yelp or moan. She knocked, then slipped in the door.  
  
Spike was sitting on the toilet, staring at his crotch as if it had betrayed him. "Bloody stupid... Where are you?"  
  
She was trying very hard not to laugh at his angry little boy face. "WHAT is the problem?"  
  
"Told you. Something keeps AHHHH!" He half yelped, half screamed and grabbed a very personal place. "Bloody HELL! There it was again!"  
  
She just looked at him, getting kind of concerned. That was NOT a place she wanted her boyfriend grabbing in pain. Ya know, the BAD pain, not the 'oh it's so bad it's good' pain.  
  
He made a quiet whimpering sound. "Feels like there's a vise on me."  
  
She crouched by him, laying a hand, well, not on, just... nearby. "Like... how? Explain it to me?"  
  
He gave her a shaky smile that was actually more of a grimace. "I'm fine, for a moment, then BAM! Somethin' grabs me. And I think it has teeth. Not a vise. An Iron Maiden."  
  
Her brow wrinkled. "A what? Wasn't that like.. a chastity belt?"  
  
Despite his pain, he chuckled. "No, luv. An Iron Maiden was a torture device. Imagine a box, the insides filled with razor sharp spikes. Now you put a person in there, and close the lid, effectively impaling them all over at once. Not deep enough to kill, unless you slam the door. That's what's got me. And I think there's some sort of invisible demon running around trying to neuter me with a mini one of those."  
  
She held back a grin. "A bikini iron maiden?"  
  
"Not funny.." Slight grin, quickly hidden.  
  
She smirked. ""Sounds a little like cramping to me. Except, it's really bad, and it feels like someone is twisting your intestines around a hot poker."  
  
He stared at her. "That's kind of like it. It started awhile ago, earlier today, with something that felt like alternating punches to my lower back and stomach."  
  
She nodded. "Yeah, sometimes mine get so bad, that it hurts to move my legs, so I take a pill the doctors gave me. Let me tell you. I did my Hail Mary's to Pamprin today."  
  
He started to say something, but was cut short as another wave of pain washed through him, this one so bad that he nearly fell off the toilet and into the bathtub. "Ohhhhhhh."  
  
Buffy's stomach was curling, too, but, being adept at handling that pain, she just let it roll through her, and gritted her teeth silently. She stopped. "Oh my God. Spike."  
  
"What?" The word was more of a whimper from a vampire in torment.  
  
She started to laugh. Hard. She wrapped her arms around her sides, and she was starting to tear up.  
  
"It's not funny!" He was hurt that she was laughing at him. He was nearly turning to dust from the pain, and she was LAUGHING at him!? She was supposed to LOVE him for crying out loud! "Stop it..."  
  
She snickered, pulling herself together. "Whewww... sorry.. hehehe..."  
  
He whimpered, tears coming from his eyes. Half from pain, and half from emotional hurt at the fact that the woman he loved didn't seem to give a rat's ass that he was dying.  
  
She patted his hair in sympathy. "Welcome to my world." She stood, opened the medicine cabinet and shook out some pills into her hand, knelt again, after filling a glass with water, and handed them to him.  
  
He looked at them. "What's that?" Winced, bit back a scream.  
  
She just pushed them into his hands. "Take them. Then suck it up and come back downstairs."  
  
He took the pills, nearly spitting them out when the pain came again. Forget being tortured by a hell god, this was worse. Much worse. "I'm not going back down there. I'm staying up here until I catch whatever's biting me."  
  
She gave him a pitying face. "Poor little man."  
  
"What?"  
  
She shook her head. "You guys just aren't made to take it."  
  
"Take what? Slayer, if you know what the hell is happening to me, tell me NOW! Ohhhhh. God, make it stop...."  
  
She smiled into his eyes. "First. Please note how calm and collected, and.... functioning I am?"  
  
He nodded, gritting his teeth.  
  
She laid a hand low on his pelvis. "Ya know this? That horrendous, all- consuming ache?"  
  
Nodded again, pained expression.  
  
Tried to keep a straight face as she said, "You're feeling my cramps, Spike. Welcome to PMS."  
  
He froze. Eyes got so huge that they looked like blue marbles. "...what?..."  
  
She took one of his hands, placed it on her lower abdomen. "I feel that, too."  
  
He stared at her. "I'm feeling your... period stuff? THIS HAPPENS TO YOU EVERY MONTH!!! God, luv. I'm so sorry."  
  
She nodded at his miserable expression. "Yup. Every twenty-eight days." She stood, extended a hand to him in an offer to help him to his feet.  
  
He moaned. Then his eyes got big again. "Luv, can you turn around for a moment?"  
  
She nodded, turned her back.  
  
There was the sound of a zipper, and a pained muttering of, "Please don't let me be bleeding. Please.." Then a relieved sigh. "Thank God." Zipper up. "You can turn around now, luv."  
  
She took his hand and drew him into her room.  
  
He sat on the bed. "What now?"  
  
She gave him a serious look. "If this doesn't prove that I love you... God only knows what will." She rooted around in a drawer for a minute, before drawing out her prize.  
  
Cocked his head. "What's that?"  
  
She waved a tan piece of fabric at him. "Salvation."  
  
"Say again?"  
  
She rolled her eyes, and pushed him back till he was laying on his back.  
  
"Luv? Don't think that I don't trust you, but please tell me what you're doing?"  
  
She used her fingers, made a rectangle just above her crotch. "This is where it hurts most, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She peeled the backing off of it, handed it to him, and turned around. "Stick that on that area. It gets hot and makes it hurt less."  
  
"Hot? Uh, luv, my body's at room temperature. What's hot to you might scald me."  
  
She turned back around. "That's right." Bit her bottom lip. "And it's -really- hot to girls." Her eyes lit up. "I'll be right back."  
  
He just lay there, curling into a ball even though he knew it wouldn't protect him, and moaning with the pain.  
  
She snatched the Therma-care pad out of his hand, and after a quick stop in the bathroom, she went about her business downstairs.  
  
Xander noticed her walking through the living room. "Hey, Buff? Is Spike alright? He's missing the game. We're in overtime with the score tied."  
  
"He's... uh... feeling a little queasy. I'll send him down in a few minutes."  
  
Dawn gave her a look. "Really ok?"  
  
Oh, if only Dawn knew. "Fine, Dawnie." She pushed a small container in the microwave and pulled it out when it beeped. Trooped back up the stairs again. She came in her room, brandishing a rectangular cloth bag. Found Spike curled up on the bed moaning like a sick puppy.  
  
She came to the side of the bed. "Come on... You've gotta lay flat, Spike."  
  
"Don't wanna.. Hurts worse."  
  
"I brought you a present."  
  
Opened an eye. "What is it?"  
  
She showed him the soft cloth bag. "It's filled with rice, and you can heat them up in the microwave. Put em on an ouch, and it feels a lot better. So, come on, lay flat and let me help you."  
  
He obeyed. Anything to make the pain stop. He watched her intently. "I'm not going back downstairs with a pack of rice down my pants."  
  
She tried VERY hard to not smile. "I'll tell them you went to sleep. I'd lose the pants and just use it over the boxers."  
  
He nodded, sitting up and removing his jeans quickly, then laying back again. "I can't believe you do this every month. You're even more amazing than I thought, luv."  
  
"Yeah, Dawn, too. Summers' have it rough." She laid the heated bag of rice over his lower pelvis area. "Better?"  
  
He sighed, the pain diminishing. "Yeah. Thanks, luv."  
  
Smiled at him, and produced a huge pill from her pocket. "This is for if- when it gets really bad."  
  
"It looks like the pill my grampa gave the horse when he got sick."  
  
She gave a small laugh. "Everyone CALLS them horse pills." She ran a hand over his hair. "It's tied in overtime."  
  
"I'm gonna miss the end." He pouted, nuzzling against her hand.  
  
"We'll get details from Xander, it'll be ok.'"  
  
He gave a small smile. "Thank him for me. He's okay, you know."  
  
Small, warm smile. "Yeah. I know."  
  
The warmth from the rice pack was spreading throughout the vampire's body in true coldblooded fashion. He closed his eyes. "I feel good. Warm. Nice."  
  
She put a hand on her stomach, where her own Therma-care was doing its' magic. "Very nice."  
  
He yawned. "Making me sleepy."  
  
She wondered how rude it would be to just sleep up here with Spike, leaving her own impromptu party.  
  
He yawned again. "Why don't you tell the others that I'm not feeling good, and you're tired? Maybe Harris and Rupert will get the message. You can tell Dawn what's going on, if you want. To explain me being here all night again."  
  
She made a quick tutting noise. "Again? What again?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. I forgot..." Another yawn, with an instant of fangs.  
  
Amazing how it didn't even bother her anymore. She walked out the door. "Be back in less than ten minutes, ok? Want me to bring you a mug of blood or anything?"  
  
"Nuh uh. I ate before Harris got here earlier, remember? I'm fine." Snuggled down against the pillows. "But I'll be better when you get back, so hurry up, ok, luv?"  
  
She smiled. "Slave driver." Downstairs, she said, as soon as the game was over, Manchester United winning, thank you very much, "Ummm... Guys..?"  
  
"What's up, Buff?", Xander asked from his position of sprawled across the couch.  
  
"Is Spike alright?", Giles asked.  
  
"Umm... he doesn't feel very good. Maybe bad blood. He'll be ok. But, I'm really beat, so I'm gonna go to bed. I'm not shoving you guys out, you can stay as long as you want to, but..."  
  
Giles took the hint, standing up and stretching. "Xander, why don't we head back to my apartment? We can watch the post game commentary there."  
  
Xander took a moment to register, but quickly stood up. "Yeah. Great idea, Giles. We'll see you tomorrow, Buffy. Night, Dawn."  
  
"Good night, Buffy. Good night, Dawn," Giles said, ushering Xander out the door. He paused to hug each of the Summers in turn, then followed Xander out to the car.  
  
The girls waved cheerily from the front door, till they drove away, when Dawn turned. "What's wrong with him?"  
  
Buffy kind of smirked. "Well, he'll never make fun of us for cramping. EVER."  
  
Dawn looked puzzled for a minute, then, "NO WAY! He's CRAMPING?"  
  
Buffy grinned. "Same as me."  
  
Dawn gave a smirk of her own. "It's about TIME a guy got it. So, ummm... Spike is staying here tonight?"  
  
"Umm... Yeah. But he's just... SLEEPING here, ya know, not... doing anything sleeping here. Just sleeping."  
  
Dawn nodded seriously. "Oh yeah." She move closer to Buffy to hug her. "Good night, Buffy. Love you. I'm just gonna... watch TV for a little bit."  
  
Buffy smiled at her sister, returned the hug. "I love you, too. Your butt has school in the morning. Eleven, lights out."  
  
Dawn mock-saluted as Buffy went back up the stairs. She came in her bedroom, smiled at Spike.  
  
"Hey, luv," the vampire said sleepily. "Everyone leave?"  
  
"Yeah... Dawn's gonna watch TV for a little while."  
  
"We'll have to check-" Yawn. "And make sure she's in bed at eleven.." Another yawn.  
  
She nodded, crawling on the bed to curl against his side. "Oh yeah. Cuz we're gonna make it ten more minutes."  
  
He slipped an arm around her, pulling her closer. "I might last two more minutes, but I doubt it."  
  
He was warm. Not tepid and room temperature. Warm. She nuzzled at his neck. "So warm..."  
  
"I might start sleeping with one of those rice things every night. I almost feel like my heart should be beating."  
  
She sighed. "I wouldn't complain."  
  
He purred, nuzzling her hair. "I'm sorry, luv. I know you love me, but it can't be fun sleeping with a cold fish in your bed."  
  
She mumbled, "Hell it can't be in August. 'Sides... not cold. Just... room temperature."  
  
"Yeah, but still, it doesn't bother you?"  
  
She lifted her head a bit to suck on his earlobe. "No," she whispered in his ear. "Does it bother you that I can't say things as... easy, and graceful as you?"  
  
"I'm not graceful. Half the time I'm probably spouting nonsense. And no. I didn't even notice. I think you have a way with words, luv. You're wonderful, you always have been. You think of things so quickly, and they're so good, too. A couple of times, back when we were fighting, I actually hit you to avoid having to think of a response to one of your insults. Really stung me that time."  
  
She smiled. "Which one?"  
  
"There are a couple. And I'm too sleepy to think of the exact one that I'm remembering. Something about.... Me following you around making moon eyes. I know that was barely a year ago, but that's why I hit you so hard right after that. I needed time to think of a comeback."  
  
She grinned, snuggled in closer to him. Yawned. "I trust Dawn to get to bed at a reasonable hour."  
  
"And if she doesn't.... Strike three, and both of us get her."  
  
She laid there a moment, considering. "I think I have enough energy, exactly, to slide under the covers."  
  
"Me too. Together, from both sides." They flipped the covers back and slid under, quickly resuming their cuddling. Spike kissed the top of her head. "Good night, luv."  
  
She snuggled deeper in the space between his shoulder and chest. "Night. 


	33. The Storms in Life.

Buffy gave a sigh and decided it was time to face the day. She really didn't want to. Sometime during the night, she had planted herself over Spike's back. Her nose was in the very interesting curve between his neck and back. She gave a tiny sniff. Yum. Her sleepiness was fading, and she was pretty sure it was time to give up the ghost. She tilted her head to the window, but there was no sunshine. Just... grey. Ugly grey. The ugly grey that should never be in California representing rain and thunderstorms. Because California was supposed to be sunshine and movie stars. Buffy sighed again. Today was a tea and movie day. And ice cream.  
  
And later today would be DoubleMeat Duty. She was picking up more shifts... and she absolutely HAD to start training more. Had to. It was going to be very busy for a few weeks, with little Buffy time. But, she'd done it before. She'd do it again. But who thought of this 'work' crap anyway? Stuff should be free. That was her motto. Stuff should be free.  
  
*BOOOOOMMM!!!*, thunder sounded.  
  
Beneath her, Spike shifted slightly, made a quiet, unintelligible noise, and tried to maneuver deeper into the covers.  
  
She smiled. Spike was cold and didn't want to come out from under the covers anymore than she did. She snuggled against his back, nuzzled her nose against his neck.  
  
Spike let out a quiet purr, but for some reason, it sounded shaky. Probably because he wasn't fully awake.  
  
"Mornin'."  
  
"..ugh." Spike nuzzled deeper into the pillows. "Idon'twannagetup..", he muttered quickly.  
  
Buffy smiled. "Me either. It's such a great day to do nothing..."  
  
Thunder boomed and lightening flashed, and Spike gave an almost imperceptible flinch. "Raining."  
  
Her eyes brightened and she looked out the window a the ugly overcast sky. "Do... maybe we could even go out in this. Even though it's day."  
  
"Uh... No thanks. I don't like... getting wet."  
  
She felt kinda hurt. He could go out, in the DAY with her, but... he didn't want to get... wet? "Oh. Ok."  
  
A very sudden, and extremely loud, *BBBOOOOOOOMMM!* nearly rocked the windows. Spike wasn't able to completely hide his flinch this time, and a mental, 'Ahh!', slipped out.  
  
She felt him jump, and his mental cry. Gave a soft smile. She nuzzled her lips into his neck. "Don't like storms?"  
  
"Not really. I'm not scared, or anything mind you. Like I said, I don't like getting wet."  
  
*BOOOM!!*  
  
Very quiet. "Not scared."  
  
She gave a mental sigh. "Well.. They make me a little nervous... could... um... I hold your hand?"  
  
He rolled slightly, so that he could see her. "Storms make you nervous?" Gently took her hand. "Really?"  
  
She held his hand tighter. "Yeah?"  
  
*BBBOOOOOOOMMMM!!!*  
  
Small jump by the vampire, accompanied by an almost yelp. "Uh, yeah. We're... vampires... are walking lightening rods. All the extra iron in our bodies. Especially when a vamp's been living off animal blood."  
  
She rubbed her thumb in slow circles over the back of his hand. "Ahhhh..."  
  
A few thunder free moments later, and Spike was calming down, his tensed body relaxing. He rolled over slightly, so that Buffy was more on his side than back, and slipped one arm around her. "You... uh, won't tell the others that I'm scared.. Uh, that is, nervous about thunder... uh, lightening, will you?"  
  
She smiled. 'The others', not 'your little pals.' "No."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
-=====================================================  
  
Dawn tossed in her bed. She hated thunder. Hated it, hated it, hated it. Hated it with a passion only a teenager could manage. She used to go see Mom. And when Mom... well, when Mom wasn't there anymore, she slept with Buffy. But.... Spike was in there. And... she didn't know what they were doing. I mean.... if your boyfriend's memory coming back wasn't a boink fest waiting to happen, what was?  
  
But then. Spike had said they were waiting for the right time. And... thunderstorms weren't the right time, right? And.... it would be kinda like having a big brother and sister at the same time... She waited out a few more thunder rolls, and lightning crashes. Rhino clutched firmly in her arms, she decided that Buffy's bed was probably way safer than hers. Wood headboard, and all. She crept slowly to Buffy's door, trying to decide how to knock. But a huge crash had her jumping, pounding the door with a panicked, "Buffy!!"  
  
The thunder crash and sudden loud pounding had caused Spike to jump and tense up again, hearing Dawn's voice, he calmed slightly. Buffy rolled away from Spike, putting a respectable two feet between them. "Come in, Dawnie."  
  
The vampire, for his part, made a semi-annoyed face at his girlfriend, and sat up to look at the room's new occupant. Dawn walked in, trying her best to not look young and scared with a rhino clutched in one hand.  
  
"Hey, Lil' Bit. What's up?" He forced himself to relax. Couldn't let Dawn know about his little... very rational... fear, could he?  
  
She shrugged, looked at her sister imploringly. "Not much... just.. wanted to see how the storm was treating you guys."  
  
Buffy waved her forward, patting the space between her and Spike. "Better now that we have someone to share it with. Wanna sit with us?"  
  
Dawn tried not to make too grateful a face as she laid down between her sister and her protector, slightly facing Spike. "Hi."  
  
"Hi, Bit." He smiled at her. "Thunder got you a bit nervous? It's ok. It bothers your sister, too."  
  
Dawn made a squish face, and said, "Buffy's not-" She felt Buffy's hand squeeze at hers softly. In warning. "- usually so forthcoming with her fear."  
  
Spike grinned. "Well, she told me. So I'll protect both of you from the big mean storm."  
  
Dawn was confused. Buffy wasn't scared of storms. She just wasn't. So why did she need Spike to protect her a from force of nature he couldn't possibly control anyway? She smiled at Spike. "Thanks."  
  
Spike grinned, and started to say something, but was interrupted by a sudden *BOOOM!*, and the sound that exited his mouth was more like a yelp, than any intelligible words. He got up. "Uh, I just remembered, I got to... uh..-" He remembered the rice thing. "-go heat this up again. Be right back." He stood quickly and headed out into the hall.  
  
As soon as Dawn heard him in the kitchen, she turned to Buffy. "What-?"  
  
Buffy made a little face. "He... was.... jumpy with the storm, and wouldn't say it, and he looked so... scared, so I told him they made me nervous, could he hold my hand..."  
  
Dawn smiled. "Oh. Totally get it now."  
  
There was a crash of thunder, followed quickly by fast footsteps coming up the stairs. Spike practically flew through the door, panting slightly, eyes wide for a instant until he regained control. Then he stood up straight and regarded the sisters. "I heard the thunder... I just... hurried back to make sure that you two were alright."  
  
Dawn, her face completely straight said, "I'm glad you're back. We needed a fearless man."  
  
He knew. KNEW that she didn't buy it. Big brother's intuition. He sank down on the bed. "So maybe I'm a little nervous. So what? Doesn't mean I'm a chicken, or anything."  
  
Dawn smiled, leaned against him, nuzzled his shoulder. "I know. Just don't like to be lied to."  
  
He chuckled. "Sorry. Can we do something to take our minds off the storm? A game or something?"  
  
Buffy was lounging on her pillow. "Umm... what game?"  
  
"I dunno. You're the one who's so good at coming up with them, Slayer."  
  
Buffy grinned. "Deepest Secret."  
  
Dawn's eyes got wide, and she grinned, pulling away from Spike to sit adjacent to both of them, settling Rhino on her lap. "Yeah."  
  
Spike gave a playful moan. "Oh no. Not again." Flopped back on the bed. "I am so going to win again."  
  
The girls smirked. "Whatever."  
  
"Huh. Are there stakes? Not real ones, mind you."  
  
"Dinner," Buffy said. "Four nights a week for two weeks."  
  
"Dinner?"  
  
"Have to make it."  
  
He brightened. "I like to cook, that wouldn't be good enough. Besides, what happens when you lose. You can't cook. Much."  
  
She made a face at him. "Shut up. That's the deal.... and.... three days of full chores."  
  
Dawn grimaced. "Ouch. Fine."  
  
"Ugh. Ok, ok. Let's let Dawn go first. Same rules? Five points?"  
  
"Right!" The sisters chirped in unison.  
  
"Ok... Spike." Dawn thought a moment. Brightened. "Have you ever had sex in a public place?"  
  
Buffy was careful not to look down, or up, or flinch, or blink. She was still. Very still.  
  
His eyes got big, glanced at Buffy. "Yes. At least, I guess you'd say it was a public place."  
  
She made an 'uck' face. "Ok. Your turn."  
  
He chuckled. "Uh... Slayer. What's the most embarrassing thing one of your parents put you through when you were little?"  
  
Buffy glared about it, even now. "Dad made me sing, at every Christmas party, in a cute little dress, and ugly little hat, and he'd point and go, 'that's my little girl. That's my Buffy.'" She sighed. "It was embarrassing."  
  
Spike, to his credit, didn't even snicker. "I get that. Had something similar with my Gram and Grandpa."  
  
Buffy grimaced. "Sucks." Turned her eyes on her little sister. "Dawn, Dawn, Dawn... What is the farthest you've been with Andrew?"  
  
Spike regarded the teenager with a blank face.  
  
Dawn, the smart girl she was, blanched, looking in the general direction that was Spike. She whimpered.  
  
"You can pass." Deadpan. Literally.  
  
She wiggled a bit, settling Rhino in front of her, as if he'd protect her. "Second," she said quietly.  
  
Low, dangerous snarl, which Spike somehow managed to do without even twitching his face at all. "Your turn."  
  
Dawn felt suddenly self-righteous. "Who did you have sex with in a public place? Which is, I'll remind you, against the law?"  
  
"Not when you're dead." He decided to both tell the truth, and protect Buffy. "Dru."  
  
She tried not to pout. He just didn't care who knew what. "Fine. Your turn."  
  
"Buffy." Evil chuckle. "Have you ever been tied to a bed?"  
  
Handcuffs weren't ties. They were chains. "Nope."  
  
'Handcuffs count..'  
  
'Do not. Those are chains. Chained. No.'  
  
'I'll ask that next.' Out loud. "Your turn, luv."  
  
She shot him a look. 'You wouldn't even.' Smiled. "Where did you screw the whore in public?"  
  
Leaned back, closed his eyes, crossed legs at the ankles. "Oh.. Outside a pub in London. Round the turn of the century. Held her up against a wall, I did."  
  
Dawn gagged. "Oh my God, that's sick. What is wrong with people? Hello? Bed, much?"  
  
He just chuckled, relaxing even more, barely even noticing when the thunder boomed again. "My turn, right?"  
  
"No." Buffy's voice wasn't quite as nice as it had been two minutes ago. "Dawn."  
  
"Ok. She can have my turn." 'Relax, luv. I was kidding about the question. I'm just playing with you. Lighten up. You need to laugh more.'  
  
She gave him a mental eyebrow. 'Asking me about being chained to a bed with DAWN here is supposed to make me chuckle?'  
  
Dawn, aware of the tension mumbled, "Do you really hate Angel, Spike?"  
  
"Most of the time. Yeah."  
  
She frowned. "That's not what I meant. Like.... do you deep down, have this... feeling of, 'That bastard. Can't wait till he fries in hell'?"  
  
He actually had to think about it. Sure, he hated Angelus, and Angel was a poof, but now he had a soul too, so what did that make him? "I... I don't really know. I definitely feel that way about Angelus. But Angel.... Just don't know him that well, I guess. It'd be like asking me if I wanted Jay Leno to fry in hell. I know how he is on tv, and that answer would be yes, but the real guy? I just don't know."  
  
Dawn nodded. "Ok. For the record, I do."  
  
"We knew that."  
  
Smiled sweetly at Spike. "Your turn."  
  
He thought. "Uh. Dawn. I have to ask this. Buffy told me that YOU are the one who told her that I'm ticklish. Is it true, and exactly WHY did you tell her?"  
  
She fishfaced a minute while Buffy laughed at her. "Well... yeah... but... it was supposed to HELP you! She didn't like you, and I was trying to tell her how cool you were, and nice, and fun, and you were even ticklish like a real person." Her eyes were huge. "You aren't mad, are you?"  
  
He chuckled. "Nah. Not mad. I'm a little annoyed at Joyce for telling you, though. Not much I can do about that. I should have known, though. She thought it was so bloody funny when she figured it out. Pinned me twice in one night, she did." He smiled at the memory.  
  
Buffy smiled. Her turn. "Why did you start hanging around my mom to start with?"  
  
"I was lonely."  
  
She smiled gently at him. 'No one was love-starved around my mom.'  
  
"No one understood. No one cared, except her. When all the rest of you were treating me like dirt, she treated me like a friend. Like family. And like I've pointed out, even went as far as to play with me." Returned the smile to Buffy. 'Yeah. I noticed.'  
  
Dawn liked hearing about her mom, as much as she liked hearing about herself. "What's your first memory of me?"  
  
He grinned. "When you screamed in my face back at the Parent/Teacher night." Chuckled. "And then punched me in the gut. I wasn't expecting that."  
  
She huffed. "Shouldn't go around threatening to eat little kids. Some of them are half as fierce as me."  
  
Buffy smiled proudly at her sister, touched her hand to her hair.  
  
"Ooooh. Scary. Come on, Bit. That was all on reflex. Besides, you didn't even hurt me. And, when you pin me in training? That's because I'm acting the part of a minion vamp. Weaker, dumber. There's only one way to take down a Master."  
  
Dawn gave him an absolutely indignant, insulted, angry face. "More than one way. Three, Spike."  
  
"What? One way. Not three."  
  
She pounced him, her hands running over his ribs. "Strikes. Three strikes, boy." The last word was said in open challenge, and daring.  
  
He laughed, squirming. "NO! Dawn! I'm... not... a... boy!!! STOP!! SLAYER!!"  
  
Buffy watched the scene with interest. Dawn was running the board. "Yeah, Spike?"  
  
Dawn kept her fingers going ruthlessly.  
  
"HELP!!!", he howled, thrashing around like a worm on a hook.  
  
*KKKAAABBOOOOOOMMM!!!!*  
  
Dawn squealed, burrowing immediately into Spike's chest, quivering. Spike tried to hide his own momentary shaking and wrapped his arms around Dawn, holding her close. "S'ok, Bit. We're safe here." Grinned at Buffy. "Your sis'll protect us."  
  
Her eyes were tightly closed, her face in his neck, shoulders hunched. She swallowed. "Don't like 'em. Not quite the big girl she made herself out to be.  
  
Nuzzled her in a brotherly fashion. "Me neither, Bit. Me neither. We should keep playing the game, don't you think? If we have enough fun, we'll scare the storm away." He gave Buffy a goofy grin. "That's what my Gram used to say, anyway."  
  
Buffy smiled, helped Dawn to a sitting position to start playing with her hair. Dawn relaxed quickly. "Your turn Spike," Buffy said quietly.  
  
"Uh... Ok. Buffy. Did what Dawn and your mum told you about me help your opinion of me in anyway?"  
  
"Of course not. Just made me watch you more carefully. Them more carefully. Well, for a while, then you just weren't so evil."  
  
"Not for lack of trying," he muttered.  
  
She grinned. "Hardest thing to steal?"  
  
Dashing grin. "The keys to your heart."  
  
Buffy and Dawn both gave pained groans.  
  
"Cheeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzieeeeee," Dawn moaned.  
  
He snorted. "I thought it was good. Of course, no one EVER thinks what I like is good.. Cept Buffy. And your mum."  
  
Dawn grimaced. "I've heard about your eggs, buddy."  
  
"Huh? Eggs?"  
  
"For breakfast? Anyway. My question. Did you REALLY sleep with Harmony?"  
  
Disgusted moan. "Yeah. But I wasn't thinking about her. My mind couldn't have been further away."  
  
Dawn made a slightly confused face. "Oh." Her face cleared. "OH!"  
  
"Care to share your sudden revelation, Bit?"  
  
Shook her head quickly. "No. Your question." She shoved it out quickly, like she was running out of air to say it.  
  
Cocked his head at Dawn, but dropped the subject. "Why did you like me, Bit? When no one but your mum did, you suddenly did. Why?"  
  
She gave a small shrug, looked at her Rhino, that she had reclaimed. "You seemed like you didn't know who you were either."  
  
He smiled at her. "This whole group is composed of misfits and normal life rejects, Bit. We are two among family."  
  
She grinned. "Yup."  
  
He looked to Buffy. "You've been quiet, luv. Why don't you have a go?"  
  
She thought a moment. "When... when you found out you were the Key, and... you.... hacked your arm, you weren't trying to hurt yourself were you? Like... die?"  
  
Spike placed a comforting hand on Dawn's shoulder as she answered. Dawn shook her head. "I wanted.... to feel. Wanted to know if my blood was as red as yours, flowed the same. I wanted to be sure I was as real as you."  
  
Spike looked at Buffy. They both knew what that was like.  
  
Buffy nodded. "You're up, Dawnie."  
  
Spike scooted back so that his back was against the headboard, waiting.  
  
She cocked her head at Spike. "Were you mad when I came in?"  
  
"Came in when?"  
  
"This morning."  
  
He shook his head. "Not at all. Actually, I was glad to see you. More company, less scary the storm is. Why would you think I'd be mad?"  
  
She had seen his quick frown, when she walked in the room. "Dunno. Just wondered." Smiled at him. "Your turn."  
  
He laid back, closing his eyes. "Ohh. I don't know what to ask. Buffy, would you take my turn? I'll think of a good one for next time."  
  
Buffy grinned. "Dawn, did you kiss Andrew on the first date?"  
  
One blue eye opened, regarding the teen.  
  
Dawn glared at Buffy. "You suck. Really. You just... suck."  
  
"Nope. That's me. Now answer the question, or lose a point."  
  
Deep breath. "Yeah." Glared at Spike defiantly. "He's a good kisser."  
  
Snort. Eye closed.  
  
Dawn's eyes lit up. "Did you ever kiss Angelus?"  
  
"Point."  
  
Dawn's eyes got wide. "Oh my God. You DID?"  
  
"Point means neither yes nor no, Bit."  
  
Schooled her features. "Right. You're up."  
  
"Same question that I asked Buffy earlier. Most embarrassing parental experience."  
  
Dawn snorted. "I had to be a PONY for Halloween. I cried for a week."  
  
He bit back a chuckle. "Your turn."  
  
Buffy grinned. "Spike. First feeling when you could hit me back."  
  
"Thank God." He chuckled.  
  
She laughed. Dawn gave Spike a charming smile.  
  
"Uh oh. What now, Bit? Every time you look at me like that, it costs me something."  
  
"Who were you thinking about if you weren't thinking about Harmony?"  
  
"Your sister."  
  
Instant gag reflex.  
  
He laughed. "Easy, Bit. It's not as bad as it sounds."  
  
"You were doing that.... Skank biscuit, and thinking about... Buffy?"  
  
"Made it bearable."  
  
"That'd be like.... me kissing Andrew, thinking about Miguel." She blinked. "AS in.... wrong, and I would never ever do it. Ever."  
  
"Like mixing sugar in cough syrup." He grinned at her. "Have an unrequited crush, Bit? Speaking from experience, don't do anything, most likely, YOU are the one who's gonna get hurt." He glanced at Buffy. "Even if it eventually works out."  
  
Dawn took a few stuttering breaths. "Me and Andrew.... aren't... um... going out, exactly... The rules of our relationship are few and undefined. So- What... that means is... that... that I, um.. can see other people... I'll just.... have... ya know, to tell him, eventually."  
  
Buffy's jaw dropped. "You're CHEATING on Andrew?"  
  
Spike just looked at her, his romantic's heart breaking for the wank- uh, Andrew.  
  
Dawn tucked her hair behind her ear defensively. "It's... not cheating." She looked pleadingly from Spike to Buffy. "Miguel.... he just... we were just... talking, and then.... he was kissing me, and I was thinking, no, this is bad, but then...I was going, oh my this is NOT bad. This is good..."  
  
Spike groaned. "N'er so easily a heart turned, than one who has yet to learn..", he muttered to himself, making a mental note to finish that later. It sounded good.  
  
She made a desperate sound, at Buffy, who looked more sympathetic to her plight. "I feel really bad. I do. And... I like Andrew. A lot. But... oh, God... Miguel could kiss for an hour with out coming up for-" She broke off, catching Spike's look.  
  
Eyes flashed gold/yellow. Shy poet gone, vicious vampire in control. It was only an instant, but it scared him. He stood up. "I'll be right back, ok?" Headed for the kitchen.  
  
She looked at Buffy, honestly frightened. "Oh, God. I didn't make him lose it, did I??"  
  
Buffy stood, patted Dawn. "Of course not. Stay here till I come back." She walked quickly to the stairs.  
  
"I'm SORRY!" Dawn called after her.  
  
Buffy followed him to the kitchen. "What's wrong?"  
  
Spike was sitting at the dining table, his head in his hands. A glass of orange juice nearby. He only drank orange juice when he was feeling sick or shaky. "I scared myself. That's what's wrong."  
  
Buffy's small hands pulled at his wrists, to see his face.  
  
He looked up, eyes reddened, cheeks wet. "I felt... the demon. But it wasn't the demon that was mad, it was me, and that pissed it off. I was too relaxed. I almost lost control."  
  
She wiped at his cheeks. "You wouldn't have hurt her."  
  
"*I* wouldn't. IT would."  
  
"No. Because when 'IT' had a firmer hold on you, you still never did."  
  
Spike took a sip of the orange juice. "I know. I was just... I made myself nervous."  
  
She wrapped her smaller ones around his on the glass. "Why were you mad?"  
  
"I don't know. I just... hate it when anyone... plays with other people's emotions, you know? Too many painful memories. I actually feel sorry for Andrew. I know how much it's going to hurt him if he even remotely cares about her."  
  
Buffy tried to remember how many hearts she had broken when she was Dawn's age. A lot. She said quietly, "I don't think she's purposely playing, Spike. And I think she'll do her best to clear it up."  
  
He nodded. "I know. I know. It's just... no matter how long ago it was. Open wounds. You know?"  
  
Angel. "Yeah. I know."  
  
He considered. "Yeah. I guess you do." Stood up, washed his glass out. "Let's go back. Who's turn is it?"  
  
She smiled. "Yours." They headed back up the stairs.  
  
Dawn was sitting on the bed, just where Buffy had left her, but facing the door now, her bottom lip being thoroughly abused by her teeth. Her eyes were huge and very watery.  
  
Spike practically flew through the door and tackled the youngest Summers to the bed in a bear hug. "Sorry if I scared you. Sorry, Bit."  
  
Her bottom lip was shaking. "I'm sorry."  
  
He cocked his head. "It's not your fault, Niblet. I'm just... overly sensitive when it comes to matters of the heart."  
  
She said, almost like a question, "I love you?"  
  
"I love you too, Dawn." He held her tightly. "I love you too." As always, the words where said with such assurance that there was no way to doubt them.  
  
She sighed. "I don't... I don't wanna be like the people who broke your heart." She put one hand where his heart was.  
  
"You're nothing like them, Bit. Nothing. You have an integrity that shines through everything. I was young, foolish. Didn't pay attention to the obvious. And I paid for it. But you know what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
He glanced from Dawn to Buffy and back again. "I'm glad. Because I had to pay to earn the right to have this. And I don't regret a thing."  
  
Buffy and Dawn, at the same time, felt cherished. Both smiled, though Spike could only see Dawn's. "When... we're done, I'm gonna call Andrew. Tell him, before he finds out, and apologize."  
  
Kissed her on the forehead. "Good girl."  
  
Buffy approached the bed, sat near Spike and Dawn hugging. "Good idea, Dawnie." She ran a hand down her sister's hair, very afraid of her getting hurt. "Just... remember, he... might be mad. Just.... be ready, if he doesn't want to talk for a while."  
  
Dawn nodded, a stubborn glint to her eye. "He'll accept my apology. I'll just wait impatiently while he does. He's kinda wrapped around my pinky. He really likes me." She shrugged. "So he'll get over it. And so will Miguel."  
  
Spike grinned and gave Dawn a quick tickle before releasing her. "You Summers women just have that effect on guys."  
  
Buffy grinned while Dawn made a fake whip-cracking noise. "You bet. Your turn."  
  
He stretched out across the foot of the bed, allowing Dawn to use his lap as a footrest. "Ohhh. I dunno. Uh, Buffy. What's your favorite thing about me?"  
  
'The way you respond when I touch you... like no one before has ever... made you feel as much, and how it... awes you, and humbles me and makes me feel invincible at the same time.' She said with a quiet smile, "The way you tell me you love me."  
  
Tears came to his eyes from both the mental and spoken words. He sniffed, making it seem like allergies. "Fair enough. Your turn."  
  
"Um... Does Dawn's blood have the same effect mine does?"  
  
"On what?"  
  
"General male vamps?"  
  
He snorted. "Maybe. I don't know. I'm immune. But I sure as hell hope not."  
  
Dawn was befuddled, and it was her turn. "What does Slayer blood do to general male vamps?"  
  
Spike chuckled. "It's a powerful aphrodisiac. Among other things."  
  
She was intrigued. "So... my blood is like... sexy?" She said the last word low, like it was a scandal.  
  
He looked at her. "To vampires. Which you will be staying away from. Thank you very much." Closed his eyes.  
  
This was too cool. "But like.... my BLOOD is a turn on? Like... 'Whooo hoooo look at that, she's got... -slayer blood-, Rawr... want her!'??"  
  
"Want to kill her and find the next female vamp is more like it."  
  
She pouted. "Oh." Big sigh. "Whatever. You're up."  
  
He smiled to himself. One possible problem averted. "Ok. Buffy. When exactly did you start ... not hating me so much.. and why?"  
  
She considered. "After Riley, when you said you were sorry it hurt me."  
  
"And that made you hate me less? Because I was sorry?" His eyes widened with understanding. "Because I cared."  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Ah. You're up."  
  
Dawn watched them carefully, wondering if she should be taking notes or something. Buffy questioned, "How... often did you think of me over Harmony?"  
  
"Reeeeallly often. Like, all the time. Even when we were just talking. It made her less.... annoying. Not by much, but every little bit helps, you know?"  
  
Buffy nodded, doing her best to not wince, and not feel flattered at the same time. Dawn, again, gagged.  
  
Dawn said, "I can ask.... like, anything, right?"  
  
"Anything."  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Kind of a two-part question."  
  
"That's fine. Who's it for?", the vampire asked curiously.  
  
"You?"  
  
"Ask away."  
  
Had to be the most embarrassing questions to leave her lips, ever, but... curiosity was curiosity. "Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?"  
  
His eyes got huge. "Uh.... Before I answer, what's the second part of the question?"  
  
"Is it harder to do with more or easier?"  
  
"Harder. And that answers both questions."  
  
She nodded, but glowed with the inner knowledge. Janice, was wrong. Buffy sat, having nothing to say, just staring at Dawn.  
  
Spike started to ask Buffy a question, but seeing the look on her face, he had to roll over to keep from laughing. And even that didn't work. His shoulders were shaking as he tried to hold it in, his back to the sisters.  
  
Buffy's eyes finally left her sister's downcast face to look at Spike. Laughing at their uncomfortableness. "Your turn."  
  
He waved a hand by way of saying, "Give me a minute..." Swallowed a coupled of times, and rolled back onto his back, panting. "Ok. Sorry 'bout that. Uh, Buffy. Do you have any idea what your name means?"  
  
She shook her head. "Chosen?"  
  
He bit his lip for a moment. "Do you want to know your first name, or second?"  
  
He knew? "Both."  
  
"First, I'll tell you your middle name, because I don't know if I can say the first one with a straight face. Anne, means comforting beauty."  
  
She smiled, and Dawn returned it.  
  
"And Buffy..." Bit his lip again. "Buffy means... either 'from the plains', or... A direct translation gives it's meaning as... 'a buffalo'."  
  
She gave a shocked look. "It does not mean BUFFALO!"  
  
"Does too."  
  
She pouted. "Helmet."  
  
"HEY!"  
  
Dawn just gaped at both of them, starting to giggle. "William means HELMET?"  
  
"It means 'devoted protector', thank you very much."  
  
The looks on their faces were priceless. Dawn was starting to lose it. Small snort. "Helmet," the sisters said together in a bout of laughter.  
  
Spike growled. "It. Means. Devoted. Protector. And I don't even use that name, so it doesn't matter."  
  
Dawn pointed a finger at him, leaning on Buffy for support. "Helmet." Another gale of laughter.  
  
He really wanted to pounce them. So he did. "Ok, that's it." He pounced both of them, tickling Buffy with one hand and Dawn with the other. "Call me a helmet, will you?"  
  
The girls used their four arms to his two, quickly reversing the situation. "Yeah," Buffy said. "Basically we were."  
  
Spike tried to growl through his laughter, but it was coming out as a half gurgling sound. "..NO!", he gasped out around laughs. "Stop! Don't .. NOT THE RIBS!!"  
  
Dawn was tickling between his ribs, laughing at him. "Not here? Is that what you mean?"  
  
"AHH! YES! StoP!!" He bucked furiously, trying unsuccessfully to throw the sisters off.  
  
The girl's laughed, pinning him, tickling. "I'd say the game's over, right, Dawn?"  
  
"Right, Buffy."  
  
"Which leaves Spike the only person passing. Right?"  
  
"Absolutely," Dawn chirped.  
  
He let out a squeal as Dawn found that spot between the second and third rib. "BIT!"  
  
Buffy and Dawn stopped tickling simultaneously, to pat him on the ribs. "Which means you have dinner for FOUR days, and chores for THREE!" Dawn grinned at him triumphantly.  
  
He stared up at them, panting hard. "The... chores.. didn't apply.. to me..."  
  
Dawn gave him a look. "You slept here last night. You can do chores. Welsher."  
  
"I don't live here, so I'm not welshing. And I don't want to do chores anyway."  
  
"But you'll do dinner?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And not chores??" Dawn looked down at his feet, expecting to see clay. "Welsher."  
  
"I like cooking, and I hate chores. And there's nothing you can do to make me. The chores applied to you two. Not me. I didn't agree to it, so I'm not welshing."  
  
Buffy was amazed. "You ARE! You're welshing." She looked at her sister. "Close your eyes, Dawnie. I don't want you to see this. You shouldn't have to see people you care about teaching you how to welsh." Dawn obediently closed her eyes.  
  
Spike looked up at Buffy, slightly scared. What was she going to do? She leaned forward, kissed him. Oh. He fought back a purr, not wanting Dawn to hear. 'What kind of chores are we talking here, Slayer?'  
  
She smiled, kept her silence, angling her head.  
  
What else could he do? He kissed along her jawline, trying to keep the sounds to a minimum. And to shut off the motor that drove his purring, because he almost couldn't control it. As it was, it was a such a low frequency that only himself and Buffy could hear it. But he was vibrating the bed slightly, and he knew it.  
  
Dawn was confused, and desperately praying that should she choose to open her eyes, she wouldn't need more therapy than she already did.  
  
Buffy tilted his head back up to her lips, bit softly at his bottom lip.  
  
'God, luv. You're killing me. What do I have to do?'  
  
She ran her tongue softly just inside his bottom lip. 'You like?'  
  
'Oooooh yeah.'  
  
She pulled back slowly, letting the kiss linger, till their lips broke apart. 'Last of it's kind till 3 days full chores are agreed to.'  
  
Spike gave a mental groan. And then, for Dawn's benefit, went into soap opera mode. "Ok... Ok! I surrender. As much as it pains me to do so, I accept your demands. You have yourselves a chore slave for three days... That is, assuming that I don't drop dusty from exhaustion some time during this horrible punishment." Draped an arm across his forehead, moaning dramatically, lay back. Eyes closed. A corpse. A slightly giggling corpse, but a corpse.  
  
Dawn cracked open her eyes, slowly. Thank God. Nothing more for her therapy. She laughed. "Haha! We win!" Turned puzzled eyes on Buffy. "How'd we win?" 


	34. A Demon's A Demon.

Buffy woke to a buzzing.... a buzzing? What the hell? It was.... back and forth... back and forth.... and back and- OH MY GOD!!!! It's TEN THIRTY??? Buffy jumped out of bed, groggily reaching for clothes. She had to be to work in less than a half an hour. Her alarm.... Damn it! Her alarm didn't go off! She stomped downstairs, buttoning her hideous orange striped shirt. Mumbling curses. The buzzing was Spike running the vacuum, which she noticed as she rammed into him at the bottom of the stairs. That was it. "SPIKE!"  
  
He switched off the vacuum. "Oh god. Sorry, luv. I meant to wake you... I just got carried away..."  
  
The frustrated noise escaped her throat. "My alarm?"  
  
He gave a sheepish look. "Sorry. I turned it off. You were so tired... I just wanted you to sleep a little longer..."  
  
She sighed. It was so sweetly aggravating. "Thanks." She almost tripped over the cord. Swore and stumbled into the kitchen. "Coffee."  
  
He grinned and followed her. "And toast, and eggs. Just the way you like them."  
  
"Oooh...." She half-sat, half-stood, gulping the coffee. "This is very sweet. Thank you..."  
  
"No problem, luv," Spike said, smiling at her. "I just thought I'd get a jumpstart on my three days of chores."  
  
She shoved in her mouth a quarter piece of toast, that she dipped hastily into her eggs.  
  
He smiled at her. "Good? I know you're in a hurry. But I packed you a lunch..." And he actually had! He put a brown paper bag on the table. "Nothing much. I just didn't want you to be sick on all that fast food junk."  
  
She grinned around the 'egg-toast'. Finished that half a piece. Stood. "I've got to go."  
  
He stood with her, holding out the brown bag. "Don't forget your lunch."  
  
She smiled quickly, swiped the bag, and stood slightly on her toes to brush her lips against the corner of his mouth. "Thanks, Spike. Bye!"  
  
He cocked his head as she went out the door. Walked slowly over to it, and locked it behind her. Well, that was a gyp. He practically cleaned the whole house, and all he got was a peck on the cheek? Huh.  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
Buffy sighed, and closed the bathroom door shut behind her. She was showering before training. That might sound weird, but not to her. The grease would block her pores, and the sweat wouldn't be able to get out, and.... she'd overheat and die.... again. She stripped her clothes off, tossing them to the side in disgust. She stepped into the shower, going over her grueling schedule for the next couple weeks. Work, train, slay. Work train slay. Ooooh! A break from the monotony. Work, work (double shifts, aren't they grand?) slay. Then.... oh... the giddiness was just about to take over! Work, train, train, train!!!! Super long session! YAY! She scrubbed the shampoo into her hair with a vengeance.  
  
Note to self: Spike is sleeping at his crypt for a while. Another NTS: If he touches the alarm, he's dust. After a quick rinse, she stepped out, dried off, changed clothes, and left a quick note for Dawn, jogging to Giles' to train with her hair damp.  
  
========================================================================== =======  
  
Spike alternately had been laying back on his bed, pacing, sitting in his green chair, petting the cat, laying back again, and more pacing. That had been all day. He was getting stir crazy. 'She should have at least noticed how clean her house is by now,' the hyperactive vampire thought to himself. He looked at Harmon, who was curled on the end of the bed, watching his best friend driving himself batty.  
  
"Tell me something, Harm.." Spike was fully aware that he was talking to a cat, but it was either that or one of Dru's old dolls, and he wasn't that far gone yet. Well, there had been that one time, but he had been drunk and... Nevermind. "What would you do if you'd spent the whole morning cleaning the house for the woman you love, and she barely even notices?" He looked at the cat.  
  
"Prrrruuuoooww?"  
  
"Exactly. You'd expect her to notice."  
  
"Merow.."  
  
"I know. I know she's busy. But she could at least call me. She's home now and... What?"  
  
The cat was winding around his legs. Spike picked up the cat and resumed his pacing. "I mean, I did all that for her, cooked breakfast and everything. Vacuumed so well that I know that there's no dust anywhere in that bloody house! What!?"  
  
Harmon "rowr"ed petulantly and leaped from Spike's arms onto the counter.  
  
"What are you doing, Harm?" Spike tsked at the cat. "You know better than to get up there."  
  
He tried to pick him up again, but the cat leaped down onto the floor, sitting next to his bowls. "MErrooowr!"  
  
Ignoring the cat momentarily, except to continue talking to him, Spike shrugged and resumed pacing. "Well, if I came home and the crypt was cleaned up and I knew she'd done it, I'd notice. I'm very observant."  
  
'Observant?', the cat thought. 'Hello! I've been trying to tell you that I'M OUT OF FOOD!!!' "MERRROOOWWW!"  
  
Spike glanced down at the cat for an instant at the loud outburst. "What's wrong with you, Harm? You don't need to go to the vet again, do you?"  
  
'No, idiot. I'm OUT OF FOOD!' Harmon decided to illustrate it. He stalked over, growling to himself, and seized Spike's pants leg in his mouth, tugging it toward the bowl.  
  
"Do you have rabies or something?"  
  
The cat sighed and released the pants leg. If you want something done right.... While the vampire continued to talk to the walls, (he couldn't have been talking to Harm, because the cat had stopped listening to him), Harmon walked over to the cupboard that held his bag of food. Opened it, and went in after the bag.  
  
"-just think that she should have at least noticed, you know?" He looked around. "Harm?" Saw the cupboard open. Opened it the rest of the way curiously. Found Harm sitting amid the ruins of one shredded food bag. The cat looked up, chewing contentedly.  
  
"Mnnmmrow?"  
  
"HARMON!!!"  
  
========================================================================== ===========  
  
A week later, Buffy side-kicked at one of Giles' hands. "I mean.... sweet, ya know, but... hello? I have to get up for work!!" She wiped the sweat from her face quickly.  
  
Giles nodded. "I understand. I'm certain he didn't mean for you to sleep that late." He pulled his hand out of the training glove, shaking it slightly. "You're still pulling your kicks slightly, Buffy."  
  
She stopped, shook her shoulders loose. "I know. Let's try again."  
  
Giles put the glove back on. "Yes. Let's." He held his hands up. "Ok. I'm ready. Give me your best shot."  
  
Her day's frustration spilled into her next attack. She spun quickly, soundly kicking his gloved hand, her opposite hand coming up in a punch. And missing the glove in favor of clocking her Watcher square in the jaw, sending him flying onto the couch. "Oof!"  
  
"Oh God!!!!!!! GILES!!! I'm so sorry!"  
  
"No, John. The scones are fine..." He shook his head. "Oh. Ouch."  
  
She didn't even touch him, and moved, in favor of getting icepacks quickly. She came back, pressed one to his jaw. "Oh, Giles... I'm so sorry...."  
  
He smiled slightly at her. "Well, at least we know you don't have a problem pulling punches." Took the icepack from her. "I think, unless you want to beat up on a bag, this session is closed."  
  
She sighed, her shoulders drooped. "No... I'm gonna go.. still have to patrol."  
  
Giles nodded. "Buffy. You've been working hard. Why don't you take tonight off?"  
  
She nodded her head. "That.... sounds delightful. It IS Friday, isn't it?"  
  
"Last time I checked."  
  
=======================================================  
  
Buffy smiled as she stepped out of the shower, the towel feeling nice and fluffy, since she didn't have to grate it against her skin, throw on clothes and RUN!!!! She rubbed lotion on her skin, and her poor skin drank it in. She breathed in the fragrant air from her shower, and smiled into her foggy reflection in the mirror. Tonight, she decided was Buffy's Night Out. No Scoobies, no Dawn (bless Andrew and the movies), and alllll Buffy, all the time.  
  
She started to do her hair, blow-drying, and pinning up sloppily, but beautifully, a few pieces hanging down her neck. She used the same care with her makeup, and finally sat, in her towel, in front of her closet. She was Bronzing it tonight. What to wear? As she leafed through her closet's contents, she gave a small frown. Wondered what Spike was doing tonight. It had been.... wow. A week and half already. It had seemed a lot longer, and at the same time, a lot shorter than that. She'd call. Tomorrow morning, while she got ready for work. Make plans for Sunday. Her FIRST day off in a week and half. Mmm... A day off....  
  
Her eyes lit on a short, red, sheath dress, that went to about an inch above her knees, with slits to mid-thigh. But tonight.... Was Buffy night. She paired it with low-slung red heels, grabbed a purse, dabbed scent on her pulse points, smudged a crimson gloss on her lips and walked out the door.  
  
========================================================================== ===========  
  
Spike was just generally pissed at the world tonight. Even the cat knew better than to bother him. But, his bowls were full, so there was no need anyway. Instead, Harmon just watched as the vampire paced. He had already worn a three inch hole in the floor from a week and a half of seemingly endless pacing.  
  
Spike was dressed rather differently than he'd been in some time. Black jeans, old black tee shirt, black duster, black shoes. His hair was slicked back. By all accounts, he was identical to the Spike that had first knocked over the Welcome To Sunnydale sign so many years earlier.  
  
All accounts except for two. His soul, and Buffy's claim. The very things that had been pulling on him, tearing his emotions apart for the past week. Sure, she had to work. Sure, she had to train. But she hadn't even invited him to patrol with her in over a week!  
  
He growled to himself. He wanted to kill something. And not necessarily a demon. Stalking to the fridge, he rooted around looking for a pint of blood. Was shocked to find that he was out. Huh. Ok. Go get dinner... Blood bank, maybe. Not butcher. He needed human blood. Preferably Buffy's, to stop this screaming in his head. With a snort, he climbed up the ladder and went out the door. 'Might as well get some cigs on the way...'  
  
========================================================  
  
Buffy sat at her dance-side table at the Bronze. The band was great, and the bodies were moving. She sipped her VERY non-alcoholic, thankyouverymuch, strawberry daiquiri, and watched them. Her foot bounced to the beat, and she smiled at the song. It was great.  
  
She felt a frission of anger.... frustration? But it wasn't hers. Spike's. Man... she hadn't even thought about her claim over the last week and a half. He must have been patrolling. She smiled as a college prep came up, using the very latest in pick-up lines on her. Demurred his offer to a dance and a sexual act that she was sure was illegal, even in California. Another walked by, giving the no-neck before him a derisive eye-roll, sharing it with Buffy. She laughed, and joined him in the eyeroll. He was nice. Fun. Asked her to dance. She said no thanks... just enjoying the atmosphere tonight. She waited, waited, waited, for the pick-up line that she had left wide open by accident. And it didn't come. He just nodded, told her he'd be back to beg again, and disappeared into the crowd. Later, she was getting to be a little lonely. It was great for a while... but... now she just felt alone. The same guy came up to her, begging a dance, did a goofy two-step, imploring her to save him from his own two left feet.  
  
Spike had been wandering around aimlessly for nearly two hours now. First stop, blood bank. Human blood. Not really fresh, but hey, take what you can get. Also, he'd nearly had to kill a security dog to get it, but had made it back over the fence before it became necessary. Second stop. Convenience store where he did something that he hadn't done in nearly two years. Snarled at the clerk, walking out with free cigs for his trouble.  
  
Third stop, not really a stop. Quick sweep around three cemeteries. Not enough to completely satisfy the rage boiling within him. His demon was high on the human blood, and he was seeing the world through a red haze that made everything that moved look like food. The urges were almost too powerful to ignore. And he almost followed a young couple into an alley, intent on feeding on at least one of them. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how he chose to look at it, there was already a small pack of vamps in the alley, and he had been able to get rid of the urge to fight and kill by dusting them and saving the couple, instead of eating them.  
  
Fourth stop. Bronze. He'd wound up outside it, and, just on a whim, decided to go in. Have some hotwings. A bloomin' onion. Maybe a shot or two of whiskey. He walked through the doors, ordered, found a table, sat down and began scanning the dance floor. Almost as if he was looking for victims. That's when he saw her. Or, rather, them...  
  
Buffy had accepted the guy's offer to dance. So, they stood, face to face, dancing. The song was half slow, half a REALLY great, thumping beat. He was a better dancer than he pretended to be. She was swaying with him, bouncing a little with the bass. He took her hand, spun her, stopped when her back was to him, and pulled her slowly closer. Not too close, but his hands rested comfortably on her hips as the music turned smoky, and they twisted slowly down, then back up, their bodies still only touching by his hand, and her hip. But he was close enough to lean forward, said something in her ear. It was hilarious. She threw her head back, her throat exposed, the back of her head touching his shoulder for the barest second before he took her hand and twirled her again as she laughed.  
  
Spike had seen enough. His already bad mood escalated into a nearly murderous rage. Through sheer force of will, he made himself get up and head for the door, rather than handing that wanker's head to him on a sliver platter. Again. It was happening again. He was losing a girlfriend to the first bleedin' idiot that came along. That guy was just a human version of the Chaos Demon that had taken Dru away from him. And yet... no sadness. Just anger. Pure, unadulterated fury. His eyes flashed yellow, and his teeth became fangs. He was in the parking lot by then. With a loud roaring snarl, he slammed his fist into and through the hood of a very nice red mustang. Into and through being all in one motion. He repeated this with almost every car in the lot and a couple of phone poles as he headed to his destination. 1630 Revello drive. He would talk to her when she got home. Oh yes. They would have a nice, loooong chat. Probably involving his fist connecting with her face a couple of times. He continued trashing parked cars and light posts all the way back to the Summers home.  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
In the club, Buffy laughed as the song ended, and he bent over her hand, insisted to pay for her drink, and let her go, with nothing but a thank- you for the dance. Some guy came in screaming about some guy with weird teeth slamming his mustang up. Buffy decided it'd be a good time to leave. She walked out, quickly, knowing as she looked at the once beautiful car that no human could do this. The trail was easily followed. A smashed carhood, telephone pole, even a few bent car rims. Her heartrate and footsteps picked up as the path led her down her road. Oh, God. Dawn. She almost tripped on the sidewalk, looked down at what she'd stepped on. The ugly blue demon that lived on laughter. It was harmless. And it's neck was snapped at an un-Godly angle. Why would-? She shook her head. No time... Dawn. Gotta check Dawn. She was running now, and slowed when her house came into view, and no carnage in sight. She walked swiftly up the sidewalk, intending to check on her sister, then continue her hunt for the demon.  
  
Two glowing eyes watched her from the shadows around her tree. A cigarette butt flew over and landed in her path. "Have fun, Slayer?"  
  
She turned, fists raised. Wha- Spike... Relief flashed through her. "Huh?" Her fists dropped to rest casually on her hips.  
  
"At the Bronze. Dancing with that prancing wanker like a cheap whore. Have fun?" There was a snarl in his voice, and his eyes were still glowing dangerously. He lit another cigarette.  
  
Relief was quickly shoved away by pissed off-confused female. "What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
He snarled, dropped the new cigarette, stomping it out like it was the source of all that had ever wronged him. He took a step toward her, growling low. "You heard me."  
  
Her mouth wrapped around the word like it was foreign. "Whore?" Her voice was dangerously low.  
  
"What else would you call a woman who ignores her boyfriend for over a week, not even calling, and then goes out DANCING with ANOTHER MAN!!" He was still growling, but the words had a hurt tone. "I saw you, Slayer. So don't even bother denying it because-"  
  
She cut him off. "Because someone with YOUR background has room to call ME a whore? Hello, Druscilla much? And... excuse ME if you didn't screw Harmony thinking about someone else, do GOD knows what else with Angelus, and WHAT do I remember about the LATEST game of Deepest Secret? Threesome, Spike?" Her words were angry, but her eyes flashed with pain. She'd have preferred his fists.  
  
"Oh sure. Bring that up. It's ancient history, Slayer. ALL of it. THIS is new." He growled again, stopping only two feet from her. His body language a cross between preparation for attack, and just wanting to turn and walk away.  
  
"And... EXCUSE ME! I forgot. You don't HAVE to pay the electric, the cable, the heat, the air conditioning bill. The telephone, grocery bill, Dawn's clothes... God, Dawn's clothes... my clothes... the water bill... I forGOT that you don't have to WORK for a living and SAVE THE DAMN WORLD EVERY NIGHT! Because it's a LITTLE new to ME, TOO! Did I forget about TRAINING and being IN SHAPE to save the damn world, Spike? Better pencil that in, too." She wasn't walking away anywhere. She was ready to fight. Words and fists. Ready and willing.  
  
"So," he continued, growling loudly. "You were just too busy, huh? Couldn't even ask me along when you went to save the bloody fuckin' world! No. Looks like I was wrong, huh? You finally got me right were you wanted me. Make me think we're fine, and then screw my heart into the ground, huh? Well, I've been through it all before, and I don't have to take it." He turned to leave.  
  
Her eyes burned. "Fuck you. God forbid I take a damn night for myself. So yeah. Fuck you, too."  
  
He froze, five feet down the driveway. Her words hitting him harder than any of her punches ever did. His demon howled, and the man was royally pissed as well. So he did the only thing he could do. The red haze clouded over his vision, and Buffy stopped being the Slayer. Stopped being the woman he loved. Became something totally different. Food. He turned and charged, roaring like an animal.  
  
She didn't pull her punch. Or her kick. Giles would have been proud.  
  
Spike was no longer acting on conscious thought. He was a creature who's sole purpose in unlife was to kill, and he totally intended to do just that. There was no rhythm to his attack. None of the grace that had always shown through during their many encounters. He was an animal. A creature without soul, without conscience, ruled by hunger and rage.  
  
She lost herself in the fight, became the Slayer, because, when she came down to it, they'd always be just that, wouldn't they? A vampire. And a Slayer. Her fisted back-hand sent him reeling, giving herself enough time to yank a stake from her purse, before discarding the red bag, tossing it across the lawn, preparing for his next attack.  
  
His conscious mind latched on long enough to lock onto the stake. She sent it plunging toward his heart, operating totally on instinct, just as he had been. He ducked slightly, throwing her off balance, and did the only thing the demon could think of, given it's limited resources. He bit the stake, latching on like the proverbial pitbull.  
  
She shoved an elbow into his nose. He roared, but somehow managed not to let go of the stake. She knocked him onto his back in the grass. His eyes locked on hers, and he froze, save for the growling and still holding onto the stake with every ounce of strength in his jaws.  
  
She rammed one fist into his jaw, using her strength to keep him down. He yelped, accidentally releasing the stake. He lay there, frozen, watching her with animal eyes. Then, something changed. His eyes glowed slightly, as they changed back to their usual blue, and he looked up at Buffy with a look of purely human panic. He had control again.  
  
She had the stake poised over his heart, the tip pressing dangerously hard through the material of his shirt. Three tears dropped off her cheeks, to land on his.  
  
He was trembling slightly beneath her. "Well? Do it already. Can't hurt any worse..." He looked away.  
  
The tears, they shamed her. She tossed the stake to the side, stood hastily, almost scrambling. "I'm not a whore." She ran, ran with all her slayer ability into the house, slamming and locking the door behind her. And from the small desk beside the door, she drew out a small piece of paper, and with traitorous tears still tracking down her face, she chanted the words written on it carefully, precisely. She felt the blue net of safety drop over her house, her invitation to Spike into her home revoked. Her sister was safe, asleep in her room. She thanked the powers that Willow had left that paper for emergencies.  
  
Spike got to his feet slowly. He knew he had been way out of line with what he'd said, not to mention what he'd done, but damnit! She'd done wrong too. She was the one out with another person, not him! He stalked toward the door, knocked. "Buffy?"  
  
She slowly unlocked the door, wiped at her eyes, but it was fruitless, the mascara was everywhere now. Swung the door open.  
  
"Buffy, I-" He left off as he tried to enter the house, and was repelled. "What the...?!"  
  
She gathered her strength around her like a cloak, looking like a beaten warrior, stared into his eyes. Beaten yes... But proud.  
  
He looked at her. Disbelief. Pain. Anger. Sadness. They all shown in his eyes, and more. "Buffy..."  
  
Her bottom lip shook. Firmed her mouth, shook her head. "No." The word was raw pain. Raw, grating pain.  
  
He couldn't speak. Couldn't think, too much pain. He raised a hand, placing it against the invisible barrier, looked at the Slayer pleadingly, imploringly. 'Buffy... I... I'm sorry... I love you...' A tear ran down his cheek. As his demon had before, his soul cried out in pain and his claim echoed. She was closing it down. Pulling away. It was like losing a limb.  
  
A choked sound escaped her lips. "Tell me. Tell me you didn't kill anyone tonight."  
  
He looked down. "No humans. A few vamps. A couple of demons. No humans." Looked at her hopefully. After all, that's what he was supposed to do, right?  
  
She nodded. She didn't have to stake him. Not tonight anyway. "Kill Clem?"  
  
His mouth actually quirked at a corner. "Can't say I've never thought about it. But no."  
  
There was no humor in her eyes. "But you killed a laughing demon."  
  
"That blue thing? It pissed me off." He shrugged. "A demon's a demon."  
  
She nodded slowly. "A vampire's a vampire. A Slayer's a Slayer."  
  
He flinched. "It pissed me off," he repeated quietly.  
  
Buffy swallowed. She couldn't do this much more. It hurt. She hurt. Her heart hurt, her claim ached, and damnit, was she angry and sad. "I pissed you off."  
  
He looked at her, the same pain she felt showing in his eyes. "It wasn't just you.... I've... been in a bad mood all week. Granted, it started because you were ignoring me-"  
  
"Feeding Dawn, right. I forgot."  
  
He turned around, sat on the stairs. "Never mind. It doesn't even make sense now. I never should have gone to the blood bank."  
  
She blanched and barely stemmed her gag reflex. "Human blood?"  
  
"I hadn't eaten in a couple of days. Needed something stronger. And I thought it'd make that incessant screaming in my head stop." He rested his head in his hands, staring at the sidewalk.  
  
She scrubbed a hand against her mouth, hard, suddenly missing having Tara to break down on. Finally, she said slowly, quietly, "Go. I don't- I don't want to stake you. But I will. So hunt somewhere else. When you- " the word stuck in her throat, and when it left her lips, felt like it had scraped up her insides with razors, "leave. When you leave, don't come back. I'll give you some heroic death to Dawn. But me and mine are off-limits."  
  
He stood up, whirled around. "What?" Shock, pain, unbelievable pain. "Buffy.. You don't... I wouldn't... I don't want-"  
  
Her tears betrayed her as she stood off, the barrier between them.  
  
"Buffy." That one word. Filled with longing, with sorrow, with pain. "...don't..." He could feel his own tears start and forced them back by sheer will. Placed his hand on the barrier again. So close... So far..  
  
One sob, and it cost her. She hauled the rest in. "Don't what? Don't cry? Don't fear Dawn'll piss you off one day? Spike..." Her plea was desperate. "Don't what??"  
  
"It wasn't... I won't do it again.. I don't know what happened... Buffy... Don't push me away..." The tears fell, and his legs gave out. He fell to his knees in front of the door. "...please..."  
  
Her eyes shone with it. Too much pain, too fast, again. Again. Heart ripped from her chest. Again. Made to choose. Again. The ripping fear, and pain, and sorrow.  
  
He looked up at her. So... vulnerable. None of the monster left. Only a broken, scared man who needed the one he loved. "...please...", he repeated.  
  
"I'm sorry." The words were spoken softly, genuinely. She closed the door gently, turned the lock slowly, and turning off the light, crept up the stairs. But she couldn't escape the mental howl of the tortured and broken soul that she'd left on the porch.  
  
  
  
Kay, guys... this broke our hearts to write, PLEASE let us know how you felt. I swear there will be two more chaps tomorrow. We thank you for reviewing, and love you all. Always your... Tequila Sunrise 


	35. Some things aren't meant to happen.

Buffy glanced nervously at her sister, who was giving her equally wary looks from over her too full plate of burned breakfast food. Bacon, waffles, pancakes, eggs, sausage. Buffy moved the food around her plate, but otherwise, it was untouched. Finally, "Dawn?"  
  
She looked up from where she had been intently studying a strip of bacon, trying not to see Buffy's blotchy cheeks, bloodshot eyes, and pale lips. Just as she had tried hard to not hear the wracking sobs from the next room the night before. "What?"  
  
Buffy took a deep breath. What do say? Spike will kill you? He's not invited in the house? We had a fight? He's an asshole? I'm not a whore? Marry Andrew? Stay away from blood drinking idiots named Spike? Don't trust men, they break your heart? Don't give your heart to someone who can rip it out of your chest, literally, and drink from it like a coconut shell drink they sell with little umbrellas? "I uninvited Spike from our home, and I expect you to respect my decision, and stay away from him."  
  
Dawn's eyes flashed. "What?? Buffy, you can't! You said.... You said... even if you two ever fought.... or, or anything, it... it wouldn't change anything. You said you wouldn't ever forbid me to see him! YOU SWORE!!!!" The teen was panicking.  
  
"Dawn, I know, but it's-"  
  
She interrupted, "I heard you last night! What did you say to him?" Dawn was shaking, visibly, head to toe.  
  
Buffy stood. "I didn't SAY anything to him!" Her own sister automatically blamed it on her. "He can't... Dawn... he..." Buffy's face closed down. "It doesn't matter. I told you that he is uninvited. Do NOT let him in, do NOT seek him out. If you see him on the street, I want you to cross to the other side, and RUN in the opposite direction, until you are home, and lock the door."  
  
Dawn blanched, came to her feet, then stumbled back into her chair. "You... you said the same thing... when... When Angel lost his soul."  
  
Buffy just stared at her sister. Didn't answer in the affirmative, or the negative. Dawn's eyes narrowed on a bruise high up on Buffy's cheek. "He hit you." A whisper, a denial, a betrayal.  
  
Buffy diverted her gaze for a moment. "Stay away from Spike, Dawn."  
  
With one confused, hurt, angry look, Dawn stood, walked upstairs quietly, and slammed the door. Buffy flinched as it slammed, then let out a quaking breath. She began gathering dishes and depositing them in the sink.  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
Dawn tucked her stake into the back pocket of her blue jeans, pulled a knitted ski-cap over her hair, and yanked at the hem of the long-sleeved black shirt she wore. A good-sized silver cross hung from her neck, and a wooden one was stuck into her front pocket. She opened her window, getting ready to climb out, then grabbed a bottle of holy water, dumping it all over the window ledge. She'd have to leave the window open to get back in. But no vampire could get in in her absence now. The wood was soaked. She poured it over the doorknob on the inside of her room as well. She snuck from the house, shimmying down a trellis, then a small tree, to hop easily, expertly, to the ground. Buffy was training. She'd have three hours, absolute max, to get back in the house. She set off at a slow run to the cemetery.  
  
========================================================================== =========  
  
Spike was in the same place that he'd been since he'd stumbled home that morning, barely avoiding the first rays of the sun. He didn't have any concept of how long he'd stayed on Buffy's porch, hoping... praying that she'd open the door, reinvite him in. But it didn't happen. Eventually, the lights switched off, and Spike was forced to leave. His demon wasn't ready to die. If it had been, he would have just stayed there, waiting for sunrise. As it was, he barely made it back to his crypt in time. He filled the cat's food and water, and then fell bonelessly onto the couch. Reason to live? What reason? He was alone. Totally alone. Buffy had left him. She was probably out with that new guy right now. Laughing. Just like the last night.  
  
He lay there, not moving, not breathing, not caring. Finally, he managed to doze off, only to dream of the tower once more. But it was different this time. Buffy died, and her ghost followed him, screaming at him that he would never be good enough for her. Never be deserving. No matter how much he changed, she didn't want a monster. She put him through a living hell. And then a real one. Finally, thankfully, he was awakened by the crypt door banging open.  
  
Dawn had stood outside, deciding on a course of action. A lot of bullshit bravado sounded good, so she did a Buffy. Kick the door open.  
  
Spike started awake with a yelp, then laid back at an excruciating pain in his stomach. Like a hunger pang, but worse. Empty. His sunken eyes locked on the ladder. Hoping that whoever had come in intended to kill him, because hell had to be better than life without Buffy.  
  
Damn. He wasn't even in the upper level to scare. Deep breath, her fingers brushing the stake, gaining confidence from it. She descended the ladder, chin raised, eyes full of fire.  
  
He just watched as Dawn entered the lower level. Harmon meowed a greeting to the Key, but was ignored. Spike noticed the stake... and did nothing. 'Let her do it. I deserve it. I broke my promise not to hurt her. Them. I'm a monster... Always be...'  
  
Dawn stalked purposefully to the sofa he was lounging on. She was careful to keep a distance. He had taught her that. Even if they look relaxed, they could spring up, and kick your ass. So be careful.  
  
His eyes were sunken and reddened from crying. He looked up at her, almost as if he was looking through her. "...Bit...", said very quietly.  
  
She watched his face carefully as she laid her hand on the cross in her front pocket. "What did you do to her? You broke her."  
  
He didn't answer, just stared at the stake in her pocket. He wanted it, but didn't have the energy to get it from her.  
  
She kicked out one foot, cracking him in the ankle. "I'm talking to you."  
  
"I bit her stake."  
  
"I want to hate you."  
  
"I want you to."  
  
"I want to hate you more than I want my mom back, to have a normal life, and to pass Algebra."  
  
The words stung. All the more because she meant them. He just looked at her. "It wasn't supposed to happen again. I thought that the soul... I don't know. I don't know anything anymore."  
  
"She was happy. She was stressed the last week or so, but she was happy. How did you break her?"  
  
"I didn't... She was... I.. The claim... Ignoring me, and then she was with this other guy... And..."  
  
She gave a disbelieving snort. "Another guy? Were you drunk then, too?"  
  
"I'm not drunk. She was dancing with another guy. Laughing with him. After she's been ignoring me for a week, and now I see her with this.... this.. Human. That's what it is. She doesn't need me. I'm a monster. Let her go with this new guy. A human. Maybe he'll make her happy." His eyes closed, the tirade taking most of the energy that he had left. He moaned. "Stomach hurts..."  
  
Dawn's eyes were glittering with a righteous fury. "Buffy would never CHEAT on you. She's been through HELL to get you back. So WHAT if she was dancing with some guy?"  
  
He couldn't move. Said quietly, "I insulted her. Attacked her. Bit her stake. I'm a monster. Dawn, if you care about me at all, and even if you don't, please stake me. I'm begging you. Buffy uninvited me from her life. Told me that she'd tell you that I died. Told me to leave. I can't move. So stake me..." Eyes opened, pleading. "...please..."  
  
She trained her eyes on his. Her heart was breaking, and it wasn't fair. "I came here to kill you. I came here to hit you, and break you, and hurt you as much as I feel hurt and broken."  
  
"You're too late. But hit me, hurt me, kill me, if it will make you feel better. Just please just get it over with." His eyes, his soul, were already broken. Hurting. Bleeding worse than any injury that any mortal weapon could ever cause.  
  
She shook her head. "I just figured it out. If I do... and I hurt you, and break you, and kill you, something will die inside of me. Because no matter what, you're my big brother. You held me in storms, the real ones, and the ones you get in life."  
  
He looked up at her, unable to even move. "I'll leave, Dawn. Tonight. None of you will ever hear from me again. I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused, every time I'm here. I just make things worse. You won't know what happens to me, so just make up your own story. I don't care anymore." Mentally, he added, 'Cause I'm going up on the bluff before dawn tonight.'  
  
She looked him in the eye, placed the cross and stake on the floor. Reached up, unclasped her necklace, let it pool beside the weapons.  
  
He just looked at her, unsure of what was happening, and wishing that the pain that felt as if his bellybutton was rubbing a hole in his spine would stop.  
  
She made sure he realized what she was doing: putting herself in his hands. She knelt at his feet, said softly, "I don't want to make anything up. I'm done with lies. I love you. Don't leave."  
  
He stared at her, tears spilling down his cheeks again for the umpteenth time that night and day. "Oh Dawn..." Raised a hand up, cupped her cheek. "Still? You can't still love me, Bit. It's.. It doesn't make sense."  
  
She smiled softly, tremulously. "When has love made sense in our lives, yet?"  
  
He pulled her to him in a crushing hug. "You have a point, Bit. I love you too." Held her away from him by the shoulders. "But you have to stay away from me now. Respect your sister's wishes for once."  
  
"No."  
  
"Dawn." Warning tone. "If not her, then me. I want you to stay away. I'm not going to be here much longer, anyway."  
  
Her eyes flooded and she scrambled for the stake, clutched it to her chest. "No! You.... you can't...."  
  
"Dawn," he said quietly, looking at her, the pain radiating in his eyes. "I can't do this anymore. The claim... The soul... everything hurts. You can't know what it's like."  
  
"You... You can't leave me." The tears spilled over.  
  
"God, Dawn... I'm not leaving you alone. You have your family. Your friends. Your life. You should live it."  
  
Her bottom lip was quivering madly. "I want you in it."  
  
"Buffy doesn't."  
  
"Yes, she does!", Dawn cried around a small sob. "She's just... scared. And... and hurt. She loves you. More than I do."  
  
He choked back a sob. "I know. But I messed up. Royally. And I don't think I can fix it now. This is for the best. Please don't cry, Niblet."  
  
She snuffled. "You aren't allowed to say that if you're crying, too. Give it time, please? Please don't go. Buffy will never forgive me."  
  
He sniffed. "M'not cryin'. And yes she would. You're her family. And she doesn't even know you were here, so she can't blame you."  
  
"I'll tell her," she threatened. "I'll tell her I was here, and it's my fault, and how could you live knowing Buffy would be mad at me forever?"  
  
Watery chuckle. "I'm not living now, Bit."  
  
"I... I messed up with Andrew, big time. And.. he... he's not mad anymore. It just took some time... Please, Spike."  
  
He could never say no to her. That had gotten him bitten by a huge three headed, egg laying demon the last time. But, just like then, she was right on some level. And, just like then, she was terrified of losing a family member. Spike looked at her. "Alright, Bit. You have my word that I will not stake myself, or try to get a tan, or limbo with a sword. Ok?"  
  
She nodded quickly, gratitude and love flooding her face. "I need you," she confided quietly.  
  
"I need you too, Dawn." He gave her a shaky smile. "Who else would I go to when I needed someone to make fun of me over my addiction to soap operas and sappy movies?"  
  
"I need you to scare my dates, and wipe off my mouth when you think I'm too sexy, and never tell me lies. I need you to tell me that things are gonna be ok, and that you love me."  
  
He pulled her onto the couch with him. "And I need you to make me feel better everytime I have those bloody nightmares, and tickle me silly to prove your points, and to just be around to hug when I need one. Like now."  
  
She hugged him tightly, her face in the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around her small frame, ignoring the weakness he was feeling in his limbs and the pain in his stomach. Nuzzled her gently. "I love you, Dawn. You're my Lil' Bit, and you'll always be my little sister. In heart, anyway."  
  
She nodded, pulled back, nodded again. "Love you too." She frowned. "Why are you so thin?"  
  
He glanced down, taking in his ribs that now clearly showed through his tight tee shirt. "Dunno. Had a full pint last night. I should be fine. Usually doesn't bother me. Not feeding for a couple of days, I mean."  
  
Dawn frowned at him. "Spike. If I ate every two days, you'd kill me."  
  
"Dawn. You don't operate on the principals of a cold blooded creature. Crocodiles only need to eat once a month."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "But they just keep pulling those poor antelope into the water, EVERYDAY just because they can. Take notes."  
  
He tried to keep a stern face. It didn't work. "I gotta stop watching that "Crocodile Hunter" wanker."  
  
She grinned. "Right." She stood, began to root through his fridge. She glared at the vampire. "Give me twenty bucks."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Give me twenty bucks, you retard. You are out of blood."  
  
He stared at her. "First of all, I knew that. Second of all, stop calling me retarded. I happen to have an IQ of 189." A trace of William snuck into his voice at the last statement.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "A genius with no common sense... how unique. I have almost two hours before Buffy gets home. I can run and get you some blood."  
  
He shook his head. "No. I was going to go tonight. It can wait. You have a date. You need to get ready."  
  
She gave him an odd look. "Spike... I don't have a date, I cancelled it."  
  
He cocked his head. "Why?"  
  
"Because I figured after I staked you I wouldn't be in the mood for dinner and a movie. I intended to sleep here."  
  
He just looked at her. "You were... going to kill me... and then sleep in the same room as my dust?" Chuckled quietly. "Bit, you might have made a decent vampire."  
  
She gave him a proud smile. "Thanks. I was gonna wrap up in your duster, sit on the couch, drink all your alcohol and cry. Now c'mon. Money."  
  
He just looked at her. "What if I told you that I'm broke?"  
  
"Then I'd say that's ok, I'll be back as soon as possible."  
  
"And what are you going to use for money if I don't give you any? And I won't let you spend your allowance on me. Especially not on blood. Which I can get myself, thank you very much."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't spend my allowance on you." She scrambled to cover her ass. "I.... uh.... mean, I'd offer you an arm." She extended one in his direction. Hand cocked down, wrist exposed.  
  
He stared at it. "Uh uh. No way in hell or any other dimension."  
  
"Ok." She lowered her arm. "Are you really broke?"  
  
Shook his head. "No. I don't think so. I got all my stuff last night for free. But I don't remember where I put my wallet, that's all."  
  
"Oh. Well, I'll be back in less than an hour, ok?"  
  
He sat up slightly. "If you aren't going to use your allowance, and you aren't going to get money from me, then how do you propose to get blood?"  
  
Looked straight in his eyes. "Geez, Spike. I'm gonna rob the butcher's." She laughed. "Whatever. There are some extra bags at home. I can just go pick 'em up."  
  
He grinned, then it faded. "Unless your sister's poured 'em down the disposal."  
  
"I'm sure she didn't." 'Since we were out a week ago.' "So. See you in less than an hour?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah. Ok. I'm gonna go.. take a nap. I'm feeling really... drained. Just put them in the fridge when you get back, ok?"  
  
She nodded. "Right."  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
Less than forty minutes later, Dawn ran into Spike's crypt, chest heaving and her whole body shaking. Oh man... close. She crept downstairs, began stocking his fridge with shaking hands, her adrenaline pumping.  
  
On the bed, Spike was curled up on his side, holding his Tigger to his chest. Harmon was snuggled up against his back. There was no movement save breathing, and that was mostly from the cat.  
  
She didn't place the last bag in the fridge, she ripped it open, dumped it in a mug, and heated it up. When the microwave beeped, she took it out, brought it to the bed, where Spike lay. Shook his shoulder.  
  
He grunted. "Mm sleepin'. Go way."  
  
"Mm. Too bad. Wakey wakey."  
  
Rolled onto his stomach, on top of the Tigger. Said into the pillow, "..no..."  
  
"I worked hard to get this blood." She poked his ear. "Get up."  
  
Half roll over. "Though you just got it from home." She smelled like the butcher's. And he could tell that she'd recently been running. And not just to run, either. There was the scent of fear around her. "What chased you?"  
  
She shrugged, shoved the mug at him. "Random baddie. Kinda green. Smaller. Broke its neck. No big."  
  
Scents don't lie. And her scent said that she was. "Hmm," was all he said as he took the mug and drank deeply, his eyes closing. The mug was empty in less than ten seconds.  
  
She took it from him, opened another bag, heated it, too. He drained that one as well. He had an inkling as to what was wrong with him, but he couldn't be sure. At any rate, the full stomach made him feel worlds better. He sighed and leaned back on the bed. "You'd better be getting home, now, Bit. Buffy's gonna be back any time now."  
  
She nodded. "I'm gonna come back. And keep coming back."  
  
He smiled at her. "I know. Thank you. For everything."  
  
She grinned. "Hey. No big."  
  
========================================================================== ==========  
  
Spike was worse. The full stomach had emptied quicker than he though possible. He was feeling incredibly weak again, and it was getting harder to move. To think straight. He needed someone to take care of him. Someone who loved him. A mother. Joyce. His cracked lips opened, and a two word plea escaped. "...Joyce ...help.."  
  
Joyce leaned forward over the table. "I'm telling you, Peter, saint or not, my Buffy has you beat! In fact-" She broke off. "Excuse me, please. My son.... he's sick. And... calling for me..." She stood, vanishing in three strides.  
  
"... Joyce..", Spike called again, fading.  
  
Spike felt a cool sweep across his forehead. 'Spike. I'm here.'  
  
Spike looked around with sunken eyes. "I can't see you."  
  
She concentrated, made herself slowly visible on this plane. 'Better?'  
  
He smiled at her. "Thank you. Are you here to take me back with you?"  
  
She shook her head. "That's not my job. But you called to me." Her cool hand swept across his forehead and down one cheek. "Here I am."  
  
Spike looked slightly disappointed. "Oh. But I'm gonna die."  
  
She looked closely at him. "Do you want to?"  
  
"I did. But Dawn changed my mind."  
  
A mother's smile, gentle, crossed her lips. "I know. Some things aren't meant to happen."  
  
"Was it the blood bank blood? Am I right?" Tried to touch her, but his hand went through her arm. Whimpered slightly.  
  
She nodded. "Yes it was." She ran her hands over his face and down his arms soothingly. "You shouldn't be drinking people." It was said scoldingly gentle.  
  
He closed his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry. I was just... Upset. Does Buffy know that I'm sorry, Joyce? I want her to know. Before I... go wherever it is I'm going."  
  
"She knows. You hurt her, but she knows you're sorry."  
  
He looked at her. "I.. She.. Can I ask something of you, Joyce? Considering that this might be the last time I see you and all, If I'm going where I think I'm going."  
  
She had no say in such matters, and couldn't- wouldn't- lie to him. "Yes."  
  
"Buffy... She.. Misses you. Wants to see you. I want her to be happy. Could you go to her?" A tear made it's way down his cheek.  
  
She gently wiped it away. He could ask for help. A cure. And he asked after his love. Joyce nodded. "I'll go to her."  
  
He smiled. "Thank you." His eyes closed, breathing slowed, nearly stopped. When it stopped, it would nearly be time. Time to bend the rules.  
  
========================================================================== =========  
  
Buffy folded the towels. Before that, she had folded the jeans. And before THAT, the light shirts. She closed her eyes on a sigh, folding the towel over her arm. She opened them, staring into her mother's eyes. "Hello, Buffy."  
  
Buffy's eyes got large. Swung her head back and forth, taking in the whole basement, focusing on her mother once more. "Oh my God." Closed her eyes, hard. Opened them again. "Oh my God."  
  
Joyce smiled indulgently. "I'm still going to be here when you're finished blinking, dear. And really. You're folding the towels very sloppily."  
  
Buffy's mouth moved then finally, "What the fu-"  
  
"Buffy Anne! I taught you better than that."  
  
Buffy closed her mouth, properly chagrined. "Sorry. M-mommy... why are you here? Am I... am I dreaming?"  
  
Joyce reached out to cradle Buffy's cheek in her hand. Buffy nuzzled into it, tears streaking down her face. "I love you, Mom. I love you, I love you. I didn't tell you that day, and I'm sorry, because I love you and-"  
  
Joyce shushed her. "I know you love me. I could never doubt it. I'm here, as a direct violation of the rules they have up there. But... some things are meant to happen." She looked at her daughter. "And other things are not. I expect to be properly chastised for this, but really. We're not much for rule-following, are we?"  
  
Buffy shook her head, watching her mother.  
  
  
  
"I'm sure that falling in love with a vampire is against a Council Rule, yes?"  
  
Buffy's eyes flooded again. "I don't wanna talk about him Mom. I can't."  
  
"Of course you can. You just choose not to. He's not well."  
  
Buffy snorted, and handed her mother a towel to fold. "You're telling me."  
  
Joyce folded the towel neatly, expertly, placed it on the pile, grabbed another. "Yes, Buffy, I AM telling you. He asked me to come here to see you. I haven't because... well, I didn't think you needed me. I mean, I always watch for you, but... I didn't think you needed carrying."  
  
Buffy just stared at her mother.  
  
Joyce continued. "He's sorry. Very."  
  
Her daughter's lip shook. "I know. But it's not that simple. He-"  
  
"Yes, honey. Sometimes it IS as simple as 'I forgive you'. You just like to be complicated. But I'm telling you. He's not well. And he didn't ask for a cure, or help. He asked for me to see you, to make you happy."  
  
Buffy stilled. "What?"  
  
Joyce could feel herself being yanked, forcefully, back to her place. "I have to leave, very soon. First, I love you. I'm proud of you. Same with your sister. But Buffy... Some things aren't meant to happen. You have to hurry... There's not much time."  
  
"Time for what? What do I need to do?"  
  
"You need to hurry. Some things aren't meant to happen... I love you, baby mine. Run." And Joyce disappeared.  
  
Buffy stood, for all of two seconds. She head snapped to attention. Laundry. How could she have fallen asleep standing up, and dream about Mom? It was a new record. She slapped her towel down on the stack with a sigh. Her eyes widened and she lifted the towel back up. Stared at the one now on top. She didn't fold like that. The only person who ever had- Her mother. The towel fell from her fingers. "Oh, God... Spike...." She turned, and ran. 


	36. ... But some things are.

Buffy slammed into his crypt, looking around wildly. He wasn't there. She opened the door to the bottom level, raced down the ladder. Not on the bed, or the couch. Oh, god... where was he?? She stalked the length of the crypt, and whimpered at what she saw crumbled in the corner. Spike, fully vamped, not breathing, with empty bags of blood scattered around him. There was wood, everywhere around him, a chair was broken, and.... She stilled her gag reflex, but there was a piece of wood, looked like a broken piece of the chair leg, shoved into his breastbone. Maybe he had stumbled on it. She knew, from her VAST experience, that two inches to the left and she'd be staring at dust. She took in the grisly scene, and noticed his ribs, showing through the tight shirt that she recognized from the night before. He needed blood. That was clear. She pushed up her left sleeve, worked his fangs over the vein, and shoved her wrist upwards with a wince, letting his fangs piece her flesh. Drinking was a reflex motion... she knew he didn't have to be conscious to do it.  
  
It was indeed a reflex, but it was slowed by his bad state of health. But he was drinking. After a few moments, his gold eyes opened and waved around for an instant, before locking on Buffy. The taste... He knew that taste... Oh God. He pulled back quickly, but carefully enough not to rip a hunk of her skin off, and crab-walked backwards until he hit a wall. Shit. He'd done it now. He'd attacked her again. And actually BIT her this time. He was terrified, and the piece of wood sticking out of his chest didn't help it at all. He'd attacked her, and she'd tried to kill him again, and she'd missed. He huddled against the wall, eyes flashing from gold to blue and back again, waiting for her to come over and finish the job.  
  
She followed him to the wall, knelt in his lap, using her weight to keep him at the wall. She put her wrist to his mouth again. "Drink."  
  
Eyes continued to flash as he tried to gain control. He clamped his jaws shut, nicking his tongue on a fang in the process, and shook his head.  
  
Her other hand reached up, clamped on his jaw. She jerked his face so he would look into her eyes. "There is -no- time, Spike. Do it."  
  
"Mm-mm." 'I won't hurt you anymore. If I die, I die. I deserve it.'  
  
She wouldn't use her bond. "Well I don't! I don't deserve to lose someone again!" Her eyes were flashing, and they were suspiciously wet. She pulled down on his jaw, her fingers tightening painfully on the hinge, forcing them apart.  
  
He closed his eyes. Allowed her to force his mouth open. To insert his fangs back into the holes in her arm. But he didn't suck half as hard as he could.  
  
Her free hand hit his cheek, hard, trying to anger his demon as she had with Angel. "DRINK, Spike!"  
  
Spike flinched, but sucked harder. Not out of anger, or pain. Out of love. He didn't want her any madder at him than she already was. His eyes opened, locked on hers. 'Why help me?'  
  
"Because some things aren't meant to happen."  
  
His eyes grew wider. 'Your mum said the same thing...'  
  
She smiled sadly, swept her right hand down the cheek she had struck. "I know."  
  
'She went to you.' Statement. Not question. He would have smiled if it hadn't meant removing his fangs from her arm. He was feeling stronger already.  
  
Her vision was dimming at the very corners of her eyes, but she smiled. "She did. Helped me do laundry, too."  
  
He felt her weakness. Slowed his sucking again. 'I don't want you to pass out. You should stop. I can seal the wound.'  
  
She shook her head slowly, drew herself up, she'd be strong for this. "Take more."  
  
'I don't want to.' Same old stubborn Spike again.  
  
Stubborn Buffy. "I don't give a damn."  
  
'I do...' Tried to retract his fangs.  
  
Her hand found the back of his head, pressed him hard against her wrist. He could drink or choke. It was up to him.  
  
Growled quietly, but did as she forced him to. He just slowed, to give her Slayer's body time to catch up with him. He was pretty sure her body could manufacture more blood almost as fast as he could suck, as long as he kept slow.  
  
She met his eyes. "Drink, Spike."  
  
'I am.'  
  
"More. I'll be fine."  
  
'No you won't. Let yourself catch up first. I'll keep going. Speed doesn't matter.'  
  
It mattered to her. More, faster, better Spike. The equation made sense in her head.  
  
A different equation went through Spike's head. Less, slower, Buffy not lose consciousness.  
  
She knew he thought she manufactured blood fast, but in that area, she was disgustingly human. Her back was still straight, her eyes trained on his, but she had to fight back the greying at the edges of her vision viciously.  
  
He was beginning to feel full. His eyelids drooped like a kid after Thanksgiving dinner. Fought the urge to yawn.  
  
She swallowed, wavered a bit, steadied herself again. "Any better?"  
  
Retracted his fangs, yawned. "Yeah.. Sleepy..."  
  
"Gotta go... see Giles."  
  
Looked at her sadly. "Oh. Ok. Buffy?"  
  
She blinked fuzzily. "Come on. We have to go."  
  
"Not yet. I want you to know... I was wrong... Last night. So very wrong... I'm sorry..." He stood up slowly, wincing at the pain in his chest. "Ooh. I'd better get rid of this first."  
  
She stood with him, her balance off. She laid both hands over the wood imbedded in his chest. "Me."  
  
Trust in his blue eyes, he nodded, bracing himself against the wall.  
  
She took a deep breath, pulled it out, straight at the angle it had come in at.  
  
He bit his lip to keep from screaming in pain, and clapped a hand over the hole in his chest to stop the bleeding.  
  
Buffy tossed the piece of wood aside dismissively, and grabbed his first- aid kit. She pulled up on the hem of his shirt, intending to help him out of it. He let her pull it off him, wincing when the shirt stuck to the wound. "Buffy? What did your mum tell you?"  
  
She began cleaning the hole, putting gauze in it, around it. "She loves me. She knows I love her. That I like to complicate things."  
  
"I'm glad you got to see her. I hope you feel better, now." He was watching her bandage him, not meeting her eyes.  
  
She was taping it carefully, said quietly, "She said that you asked her to come to me."  
  
"Yeah. Well... You told me you wanted her to visit you... I remembered to ask." It was barely a whisper.  
  
She bit softly at her bottom lip. "Because you thought you were dying."  
  
"I was. Sickle Cell Anemia. Bad blood. It was the only thing I could think of to do for you."  
  
She nodded, said without ire, "The human blood was tainted."  
  
"Yeah. I should have read the bin that I was digging in. Rejects. I'm an idiot."  
  
Buffy nodded, her eyes intent on the bandage, smoothing the edges, her fingers playing over it, making it perfect.  
  
He stared at the wall, the bed, anywhere but in her eyes. "Buffy... Can you... I know you can't forgive me for what I did. I just want you to know how sorry I am."  
  
Her mothers words echoed at her. Sometimes it IS as simple as... "I forgive you."  
  
His head snapped up, making his neck pop painfully. "Ow. You do?"  
  
It was quiet, almost a whisper. Her eyes were still on the bandage. "Yes."  
  
He knew that she was expecting him to ask for yet another invitation. He would surprise her. "Thank you." He sat on the bed, fishing through his nightstand for something.  
  
She stood, hands restless at her sides. "Did you try to stake yourself?"  
  
"I thought about it. Da- I changed my mind." Pulled out his leather bound book, set it aside, continued digging around.  
  
She was getting antsy, and her head still felt too light for her body. Her body felt very heavy. Too heavy for her head. Whoah. With the weird thoughts. "What are you looking for?"  
  
"Peppermints..."  
  
She just nodded, then stumbled to the right, braced her hand on the wall by the night stand. Sank slowly to the floor, to sit Indian style. "I think it'd be best for me to sit."  
  
He pulled out a box of Altoids, handed it down to her. "Want one? Helps keep you awake. Works for me, anyway."  
  
She took one from the tin, sucked on it.  
  
He did the same. "Want to come up here? It's more comfortable than the floor. I can go to the couch."  
  
She stood slowly, but it felt fast to her. What blood she had rushed to her head. Walked slowly to the bed, sat, then laid on her back. He elevated her head slightly, and put the soft pillows under it, then laid a light blanket over her, and headed for the couch.  
  
"No."  
  
Stopped, turned. "Beg your pardon?" Cocked his head. 'Since when do I talk like Rupert?'  
  
She lazily flipped one hand over, palm up. It happened to be the one he fed off. It was as much of an invitation as she could muster. "Sit."  
  
He obeyed. Sitting on the side of the bed, his back stiff, not wanting to jostle her.  
  
Her speech was slow, but she got it out. "So... you know what's wrong with you, so we don't have to go ask Giles?"  
  
He nodded. "In fact, it's gone now. Mostly. I'm gonna have to feed a lot for a few days, though. To purge what's left of the bad blood." Gave her a gentle smile. "You should eat something. I'll find something for you."  
  
Slow, small, tired smile. "'Kay. I have to go home tonight."  
  
He nodded, heading for the 'kitchen'. "I'll carry you, if you want me to."  
  
Her words didn't carry the life and pep they usually did. They were duller, slower, but she was sure she was rallying. "Dawn cancelled a date tonight."  
  
He started to say, 'I know', but stopped. Didn't want to get the Bit in trouble. "Oh, really?" Dug around in the fridge.  
  
"Mm. So she might be upset if you carry me to the porch."  
  
"Oh. How about the front walk?" Pulled half a sub sandwich out of the fridge. Held it up. "Is this ok? It's only been in there since yesterday. Xander left it."  
  
She lolled her head back to look at it. "Yum. Food."  
  
He smiled, putting it on a paper plate, on a tray, and setting a glass of milk beside it. Carried it to the bed. "Here you go, luv."  
  
She sat up only long enough to take the sandwich, and laid back down again, breaking off bits of it to nibble on.  
  
He sat on the side of the bed again, watching her eat in silence. God, how he'd missed her. He never thought he'd see her again, let alone have her forgive him, but here she was. He blinked back tears.  
  
She sighed suddenly, and set the sub on her stomach. She had eaten maybe three small bites. "I'm not hungry anymore."  
  
Concern filled his eyes. He pushed the sub toward her again. "You need to eat. You eat, you make more blood. You make more blood, you feel better. Scientific facts."  
  
Slightly vacant smile. "Ok." She pulled off a corner of a piece of cheese from the sandwich, ate it.  
  
"Slayer. Don't make me open your mouth and shove it in."  
  
Lolled her head again to give him as good a 'look' as she could, under the circumstances.  
  
He hid a small grin at the ghost of her usual piercing 'look'. "You did it for me, and I'll do it for you."  
  
She brought the sub up for a half-normal sized bite. He put two fingers on the end and pushed it into her mouth for a normal bite. Used his other hand to close her jaw and bite the piece off. Sat back, grinning at her. She gave a small cough, not ready for that. She chewed slowly.  
  
Now that he was satisfied that she was at least going to make an attempt, he yawned and stood up, heading for the couch.  
  
She swallowed hastily. "Where y'going?"  
  
"To lie down."  
  
"Will you keep me awake for a little bit? Till I can walk home?"  
  
Turned to look at her. "Ok. How?"  
  
"Come sit and lay down, and talk to me."  
  
He slowly walked back over and laid down next to her. "What do you want to talk about?"  
  
She shrugged, took another medium sized bite.  
  
He thought. "Ok. Uh... Topic.. topic.. Oh! What's the last movie you saw in the theaters?"  
  
She blinked. Honestly couldn't remember. "I... I dunno."  
  
He snorted. "Never mind. Stupid topic, anyway." Tried to think of a new topic.  
  
"I told him no."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The... the guy." She didn't even remember his name. Maybe Josh. "Told him I just went there to enjoy the atmosphere. Just wanted to sit, and soak in the Buffy-ness. But he asked again, and I was lonely. So I said yes." She wasn't apologizing. There was none of it in her tone, but she was letting him know. Facts.  
  
"Oh. You could have called me... Unless you really were avoiding me last week." Held up a hand. "Before you say anything, I don't really think you were avoiding me. I just was having a bad week."  
  
She nodded. "I just wanted... a Buffy night. A me night. I was going to call you in the morning and see what you wanted to do Sunday, because it's my first day off in... man... weeks."  
  
"That's tomorrow."  
  
The sub was back to sitting on her stomach, almost a fifth gone. "Is it?" It seemed longer than that. That the last two days themselves had been weeks.  
  
Slow nod. A hand reached toward her hair, but pulled back. "Sorry." Rolled onto his back, stared at the ceiling.  
  
Buffy said slowly, "I know... you were sick, that's why you fought like you did."  
  
"It's part of it, but not all. I was mad. Furious. Kept thinking about how I lost Dru... Did you know that I was just out for a walk, went into a bar for a drink, and caught her making out with a chaos demon? It was... Too similar... Like when you... Never mind."  
  
She turned her head to look at him. "I meant physically, the way you fought. Nevermind, what?"  
  
"Somethin' you said. Awhile back. Brought up a different memory. It doesn't matter now." Kept staring at the ceiling.  
  
"Everything matters. Everything everyone says matters on some level."  
  
Very quiet, almost not said. " 'You're beneath me...' "  
  
Buffy winced. "I'm sorry."  
  
He shrugged slightly. "S'ok. I'm fine." In the back of his mind, the two scenes played side by side... Cecily... Buffy... A dropped poetry book... Thrown cash.. 'You're beneath me.' He continued to stare at the ceiling through watery eyes.  
  
Her hand reached over slowly, to touch the back of his. "You're not."  
  
Turned his head slightly. "Yes I am. You're like a goddess, and I'm... A lowly peasant, come to worship. I don't deserve all the leeway you give me. All the times you've over looked my failures. And I know you don't agree with me, but that's how I feel. How I've always felt."  
  
"Then why do you think I'm a whore?" It was quiet, pained, confused.  
  
"I don't. It was the anger talking. I'm sorry, luv. I was so wrong... Again. And again you've forgiven me." Shaky smile. "Can I do anything to make you hate me again? Just in case I ever want you to stake me, or something like that. Humor me."  
  
Her reply was instant, honest. "Leave me. And... I don't think even then."  
  
He stared at her, chewing on his lip absently. "You... really mean that?"  
  
She nodded. "I think so." She reached across herself, tugged at his lip. "Bad habit."  
  
He laughed quietly. "I wonder where I got that, hmm?"  
  
She gave a half smile. "No idea."  
  
Tapped her on the nose. "Guess."  
  
A grin quirked her lips.  
  
Tapped her nose again, chuckling quietly. "I said guess."  
  
"Dawn."  
  
He did a respectable impression of a game show buzzer. Another nose tap. "Try again."  
  
She gave a soft laugh, swatted at his hand. "Ok."  
  
He, now in a totally playful mood, started humming the Jeopardy theme song. "I'm waaaiting."  
  
"Me." She sat up slowly. "I've got to get going."  
  
The mood faded. "Oh. Ok." He stood to help her to her feet. "I'm going to... I don't know what. Call the others. Apologize."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For everything. I was short with Xander when he came over yesterday. I told Rupert I was busy when he invited me over to practice. I told Willow that I was too tired to drive her to the store. The list goes on. I had a bad week."  
  
She nodded. "I'm sure it's not a big deal to them. We've all had days. Mine was no better."  
  
He smiled at her. "I know. My fault again. Sorry."  
  
Buffy shrugged. "I was thinking about the double shifts. But, forgive."  
  
"Ah." He sat back down on the bed. "Ok. Do you need a ride home? Xander borrowed the DeSoto yesterday, but I've still got the bike."  
  
She shrugged. "I can walk."  
  
He stood up, shaking his head. "Wrong answer. What if you run into some nasty out there? You're in no condition to fight, luv." He chuckled. "I doubt you could even fend off one of those blue laughing demons. By the way. It woke up."  
  
She gave him a slightly reproachful look. "Nothing wakes up from it's neck being broken at that angle."  
  
He grinned. "THEY do. I can even prove it. I knew it wouldn't kill it, because I read up on it at the meeting awhile back."  
  
Buffy gave him a small smile. "So... You're driving me home?"  
  
He nodded, motioned to the ladder. "After you, M'lady."  
  
She went up to go up the ladder, and paused by the couch, knelt down.  
  
He followed her and paused. "What are you doin', luv?"  
  
She picked up the sterling cross off the floor. "Get religious on me?"  
  
He blanched. "Uh... Maybe some kids came in during the day..."  
  
Buffy nodded. "Kids these days. Doing stupid things, just because people tell them not to."  
  
He chewed on his lip, stayed silent.  
  
She put the cross in her pocket and went up the ladder.  
  
He trotted after. Dawn owed him one, now.  
  
-========================================================  
  
Dawn was dozing on the couch, the remote held lightly in her hand. Bored. Frustrated. Missed Andrew. Should be solving equations. Sleep. A loud roar coming down the street had her jerking awake, to peer out the window. She gave an excited squeal as a motorcycle halted in their driveway, the driver distinctly bleached blonde, with a petite, slightly stumbling slayer behind him. She knew it! Hadn't she told him? Yes!!!! She was right! She KNEW she was right! Yes! The smile faded slightly as she noticed they weren't holding hands or touching. But they were talking. Tension was expected. Well, she didn't really know what happened, but... whatever it was, tension was expected. It would be ok.  
  
Outside, Spike steadied Buffy by resting a hand on her shoulder. Was pleasantly surprised when she took his hand, and draped it across her shoulders, slightly leaning on him.  
  
Dawn's eyes lit up. YAY! Slightly louder squeal. Ok! Touching! That was touching! That was invited, ENCOURAGED TOUCHING!!!! She bounced on her knees on the couch cushions.  
  
The couple made it up the front walk, and Buffy leaned on Spike a little more to get up the steps. Then they pulled apart. He stood at the edge of the porch, ready to leave as soon as she got inside. She opened the door, looked back at him. He turned to go back down the steps.  
  
"H.. Spike?"  
  
Paused, for the third time that night. Turned. "Yeah, luv?"  
  
She held up one finger. Gave a tiny nod to accompany it. Asking him to wait, just a minute. He nodded and sat on the steps.  
  
Buffy went inside, found her sister on the couch, looking FAR too interested in the TV for what was being advertised. A spray for balding men. "Dawn."  
  
She jerked her head to Buffy in that, 'Oh-wow-I-didn't-even-hear-you-pull- in-on-a-loud-motorcycle' look. "Oh. Hey. What's up?"  
  
She knew Dawn had been watching. "Spike... he was sick, but he's better now. And... we're better now."  
  
The grin kept spreading across Dawn's face.  
  
"I... Do you want to invite him back in with me?"  
  
Dawn gave a laughing squeal and hugged her sister. Buffy hugged back for a minute, then took her hand and led her to the front door.  
  
Spike was still sitting on the stairs, crumbling something up in his hands. He glanced up when the door opened. Gave a half grin at the sisters, and chucked the wadded up pack of cigarettes into the garbage can at the junction of sidewalk and street. Nothin' but can.  
  
The sister's stood united, twin smiles on their faces. They glanced at eachother, then at Spike, and said in unison, "Welcome."  
  
His eyes lit up. He stood slowly, walking toward the door as if he thought it was going to disappear. "You mean it?"  
  
Dawn nodded enthusiastically, while Buffy said to him silently, 'Always, forever.'  
  
His eyes teared up and he shot through the door, wrapping up both sisters in a bear hug. "Thank you... Both of you. I.. love you both.." Nuzzled both Summers alternately.  
  
The girls returned the embrace, both feeling a lot happier, less sick in the pits of their stomachs. 'I love you.'  
  
"I love you, too, Spike." Dawn hugged him tightly, glad to feel that he wasn't so thin.  
  
Spike, still holding both girls, half carried them over and plopped on the couch with them. "I don't ever want to let go." He was purring. Half a familial purr for Dawn, and half the deeper purr that was for Buffy alone.  
  
The girls basked in their purring glow for a moment, before Buffy pulled up to say, "What're you doing for the next couple weeks, Dawn?"  
  
Her sister shrugged. "Dunno... gonna go out with Andrew, probably, see a few movies, go to Mindy's... Why?"  
  
Buffy shrugged. She still wasn't feeling 100 percent, but she was dealing with this now. "Because I'd cancel all of that if I was you, because you're grounded."  
  
Spike's eyes popped open, and his purring skipped a beat. Oops. He hadn't been as convincing as he thought.  
  
Dawn fishmouthed a moment. "What?" And the Oscar goes to... She stood, a quivering righteous fury over her sister. "I'm -grounded-? I haven't DONE anything in FOREVER! And-"  
  
Buffy stood to face off to Dawn. "When I tell you something, I expect you to respect me enough to do it, because I wouldn't SAY it, if I wasn't looking out for you. I told you to not go to Spike's. I didn't want you to get hurt, and you just... PRANCE over there, like it's a damned LARK!"  
  
The relaxed feeling that Spike had been cultivating evaporated, and he started to get up and leave.  
  
Buffy put out a hand, a silent signal to stay, without even looking away from her sister.  
  
Dawn squawked, then let out a banshee wail. "You SO don't even have any PROOF that I was OVER THERE!"  
  
Spike stopped, and leaned against the same wall he had occupied during Buffy's 21st birthday party nearly a year before.  
  
Buffy shoved her hand into her pocket, the sleeve pushing up while she dug, and found the chain, jerking it out, to dangle in front of Dawn. "Jewelry's expensive, Dawn. Might not want to be so careless with it."  
  
Dawn got red when she saw the cross, but she blanched, pale, dead white when she saw Buffy's wrist. The bite marks hadn't healed, and the skin around it was raised and bruised, dark brown and purple and blue in the center, but a sickly green and yellow at the edges. She grabbed Buffy's wrist, jerking it up to her eye level. Swung her eyes to meet Spike's.  
  
Spike looked at the floor.  
  
"You bit-" Her eyes went back to drill into Buffy's. "He BIT you. It's..." It hit her. "That's why you're stumbly. He SUCKED your BLOOD. And not just a little! A LOT! You're... pale... and... wobbly..." She tossed Buffy's wrist back. "And -I'm- grounded for doing the obviously more dangerous of our two actions?"  
  
Spike began inching toward the door again.  
  
"SO do not even think you're going anywhere." Dawn's voice was crisp, brightly angry.  
  
"None of that matters, Dawn," Buffy began. "What matters is that I told you to NOT do something, and you-"  
  
"I did it. Well, shoot. I should just join the club. 'Don't date vampires.' 'Don't let anyone bite you.' Do you sit on the toilet seats in public, too, Buffy??"  
  
Spike was at the door, reaching for the knob.  
  
Dawn rounded on him. "And you! What? Did you TELL her?"  
  
Spike looked back as he pulled the door open. "No."  
  
She was hurt. "Had a good laugh over it? After all, came in, white hat firmly in place, stake at the ready, sad and confused and hurt, thinking I could take on a Master?" She threw her hands in the air, made for her stairs. "Fine. I'm grounded. But you two are screwed up."  
  
He closed the door, wincing at her verbal onslaught. He sat on the stairs again. Outside.  
  
Buffy sat heavily on the couch. That didn't go the way she wanted it to. She didn't know HOW it was supposed to go, but she was sure that wasn't it.  
  
Ten minutes later, the sound of wood being pushed on wood fell on Spike's ears, as well as a VERY well rounded string of obscenities. Slowly, he stood up and walked to the base of the tree, on the street side. Waited.  
  
Dawn dropped nimbly to her feet from the tree, and set out for the road.  
  
"Not so fast, Bit."  
  
To her credit, she spun, fists raised in a ready fighting position, and a stake in her pocket.  
  
He chuckled. "Haven't we done this already?" Stepped from the shadows. "Where're you going?"  
  
She sighed. "Out. Anywhere. Anywhere but in that house with that stupid, hypocritical little girl."  
  
Spike just looked at her.  
  
She gave him her best, Yeah?-What?-look. "I don't hear any denials pouring from your lips." She started down the sidewalk.  
  
He followed her. "I was dying, Bit. Unconscious. Buffy saved my life."  
  
She stalled a moment, then kept walking. "I offered you mine."  
  
"I didn't take her's voluntarily, either. And I pulled away as soon as I knew what I was doing." He caught up with her, walking side by side.  
  
She was pouting, good and proper. "She wouldn't even tell me why I had to stay away. Just said... to do it. Because she said so."  
  
He stopped. Held her by the shoulders. Made her face him. "If you have any questions, now is the time to ask."  
  
She jerked her shoulder back. "You hit her, I know."  
  
He kept a firm grip with the other hand. "No. You don't know. I didn't hit her, Dawn. The demon did. I lost control. I attacked her. I would have killed her if she hadn't knocked some sense into me."  
  
She closed her eyes. "I don't wanna hear this."  
  
"You need to. To hear it from her side. I scared her. I terrified her. And I did the same to me." He released her and started walking toward his crypt. "Now you know."  
  
She followed after him, tugged at his hand, turned him in the opposite direction. "I want an icecream. Did you tell Buffy on me?"  
  
"I'll tell you if you'll answer me something first." He allowed her to lead him to the icecream parlor.  
  
"Ok." She went to stand in line.  
  
He stood with her, waited until they'd gotten their icecreams and sat down in a secluded corner. "Where did you get the blood?", Spike asked around a mouthful of chocolate icecream.  
  
Vague. Vague was good. "There's blood at the house." True enough. There was... She was pretty sure, anyway.  
  
Buzzer impression. He wasn't being mean. Wasn't asking so that he could tell. He was just a big brother, curious about his little sis. "Try again." Put a dot of icecream on her nose.  
  
She gave an embarrassed sputter, wiped it off quickly. "I stole it from the butcher shop."  
  
He hid a grin. Managed a semi-stern look. "Not nice, Bit."  
  
She shrugged. "It wasn't hard. And technically, in a roundabout way, I DID pay for it."  
  
He leaned forward. "How'd you do it?"  
  
"Well, everyone knows he's the only guy working the counter. And they have that stupid cardboard cow cut-out. So I paid this kid five bucks to grab it, run five blocks with it, and drop it. I went in the store, kinda yelling that this kid was stealing the cutout, he went kinda crazy, started chasing after him, and I went in the back, filled a couple grocery bags with blood, and took a different route home." She shrugged at the simplicity of it. "Piece of cake."  
  
Spike tried to be the 'stern, serious big brother', but it wasn't working. He laughed hard. "God, Bit... You're some sort of genius." Laughed again. "And if you tell your sister that I just complimented you for stealing, I'll kill you. You know that, right?"  
  
She smiled proudly. "Yeah. I know." She wagged a finger at Spike. "And really, he's lucky that all I wanted was blood. He should lock up if he's gonna run off like that."  
  
Spike chuckled, taking a bite of icecream. "I'll drop that in the suggestion box next time I'm in there."  
  
She grinned. "You do that." She nodded. "I was doing... a civic duty to him. I'm sure he learned a lesson."  
  
He grinned back. "And, now, to answer your question. No. I did not tell on you. Buffy found your cross when we were leaving to go back to your place."  
  
She winced. "Oh."  
  
He chuckled. "But it was worth the price of this icecream for that story." He stood. "Come on. Let's get you home and back up that tree before your sis realizes that you're gone."  
  
Dawn sighed. "Ohhhhkaaaay. Do you think you can talk her out of grounding me?"  
  
Spike looked up at the ceiling, thinking. "I dunno... Maybe... If I feel like it.."  
  
She stood next to him, giving him adoring doe eyes. "I know you could."  
  
Gave her a lopsided grin. "Yeah. I know. I just don't know if I reallllly want to..." Trotted out the door.  
  
She followed behind him, then scuttled to be in front of him, walking backwards, big, sad, eyes. Like... the size of saucers. With a light sheen of tears. "Me and Andrew were supposed to go out to celebrate our one month."  
  
"Welll... Maybe. If."  
  
Her oh-so-expressive eyes brightened. "If?"  
  
"Remove all strikes against me."  
  
"For how long?"  
  
"Two months. Strike free."  
  
Dawn snorted. "Two weeks."  
  
"Month and a half."  
  
She considered. "Month."  
  
He chuckled. "Month and a week. Why're you so eager to get me up to three again, anyway?"  
  
She shrugged. "S'fun. Ok. Deal."  
  
He grinned. He could bother her for a month and a week without consequences. How fun. They were at the base of the tree. She began to climb up. He called after her, "Oh, and Bit?"  
  
She turned from her expert climbing to grin down at him.  
  
"If I hear or see or even have cause to think that you've climbed out the window again, ever, I am pushing you right up to three strikes and keeping you there for three months."  
  
Her mouth dropped open. "B-but-"  
  
"No buts. And I won't tell Buffy. But I think I've given you enough incentive. Don't you?" Evil grin.  
  
Small pout. "Yes." She pulled herself into the window with WAY too much ease for Spike's well-being.  
  
He shook his head, grinning to himself. He was probably going to wind up nailing the window shut in there. Walked back up onto the porch. Knocked lightly. If Buffy was asleep, he would leave.  
  
She swung the door open. Buffy looked at Spike from where she was leaning against the door. Sighed. "Hey."  
  
Gave a half bow. "Luv. I would like to invite you out for awhile. An impromptu date, as it were."  
  
Her eyes lit, and she gave a slow, half-shy smile. "Yeah?"  
  
Dashing grin. "Yeah."  
  
The smile got bigger, and nodded. "Ok. What should I change into?"  
  
He looked down at his old button up the front purple and black shirt and black jeans. "You don't have to change. I'm not. Besides, we're gonna be on the bike, and you don't want to get cold or anything."  
  
She nodded again. "Ok. Be right back." She went up the stairs quickly to knock on Dawn's door. "Dawnie?"  
  
"What?" Less than patient.  
  
"Um... I'm.... going out for a little bit. I don't know when I'll be home, but Willow will be back in about an hour, if you need something, ok?"  
  
From in her room, Dawn rolled her eyes with a half grin. And SHE runs off to be with Spike, while she's GROUNDED. "Yeah. Fine."  
  
Buffy grinned, and said softly, "I love you."  
  
Dawn sighed. "I love you, too. Run along now."  
  
She went back down the stairs to smile at Spike. "Ok. Had to tell Dawn I was leaving."  
  
He grinned and got up off the couch. "Fine with me." Opened the door for her.  
  
She walked out in front of him, walking down the porch stairs. He shut the door behind her, grinning when he heard Dawn lock it. He flashed her the thumbs up when he saw her looking out the window and then followed Buffy, climbing onto the bike, waiting for her to climb on behind him. She got on behind him, wrapped her arms around his waist. He purred, pressing back against her as he started the bike. They took off, heading out of Sunnydale and off to who knows where.  
  
Buffy loved the speed, and the wind tossing her hair. She moved closer, shouted, "Where are we going??"  
  
'Speak mentally, luv. It's easier. Just to a little place I know.'  
  
'Mmm... Lots better. Do I know where it is?'  
  
'Maybe. I'm not telling.'  
  
She laughed, then just decided to enjoy the ride.  
  
After about thirty minutes on the road, Spike pulled the bike off the main highway and followed a back road into the mountains. 'Getting closer...', he teased.  
  
She gave a mental pout. 'Not fair.'  
  
He chuckled, his back vibrating against her. There was a little cabin up ahead, and a small lake to the back. 'We're here.'  
  
She was confused. 'Here where? It's... in the middle of nowhere.'  
  
He parked the bike, turned it off. "I know. Isn't it great? Rupert told me about it awhile ago. I've been waiting for the right time to show it to you."  
  
She smiled. Spotted a bunny scampering off. "Aww! It's a bunny!" They both thought of Anya jokes, but decided to not share. Buffy sighed, looking around. "It's beautiful here."  
  
He got off the bike, pulled her with him. "Come on. You haven't even seen the best part."  
  
She smiled and followed him. He went up to the cabin, and used a small gold key that he'd had in his pocket to unlock the door. Went in, motioning for Buffy to follow.  
  
Buffy drew in a breath, and took it all in. There were candles, everywhere. Unlit, but there. And a fireplace. Which Spike was lighting with the kind of long matches that you use for such a thing. The room was filling with a soft glow, and the smell of differently scented candles, all blending prettily. Spike sat back on the couch that dominated the middle of the room in front of the fire place. It seemed to be made out of velvet. He patted the seat beside him. She relaxed into the softness of the couch, and smiled at him.  
  
He grinned proudly at her. "Well? What do you think?"  
  
"It's beautiful."  
  
He smiled, enjoying the softness of the couch, and the nearness of Buffy. Looked around. "We could have brought swim suits. There's a great little lake out back."  
  
She looked up at him. "Maybe next time."  
  
He chuckled. "Yeah. I guess November isn't a good swimming month, anyway."  
  
She laughed. "Probably not."  
  
He looked around. "Want something to eat? There's plenty of food here. Anything you want to do. Think of me as your servant for tonight."  
  
She smiled slowly. "My servant, huh?"  
  
He nodded and gave a half bow. "At your service."  
  
She leaned forward, touched her lips to his briefly.  
  
He smiled when she pulled back. "Any orders?"  
  
She smiled at him. "I never finished that sub... What have you got?"  
  
He hopped up and walked to the fridge. Looked in it curiously. "Um... Everything... OH! Here.." He pulled out half a pizza. "Is this good?"  
  
Her mouth almost watered. "Oh yeah."  
  
He heated it up in the microwave on the counter and brought it to her with a flourish. "Here you are, My Lady. Anything else?"  
  
"Well, if there's anyone here to share it with..."  
  
He sat down. "Like me?"  
  
She sighed. "I guess you'll do."  
  
He snorted at her. "Strike two and a half. Just because I don't feel like three right now."  
  
She smiled, took a bite, and said around her swallow, "Ya know... I'm really looking for a guy... all bad-ass on the outside, and nice and sweet, and caring on the inside. Blue eyes, too. Must have. You know anyone like that?"  
  
He swallowed a bite of pizza. Thought for a moment. "Well... I did know a guy like that. I can't quite remember the chap's name."  
  
She frowned. "Mmm. Well, you can give him my number, but my boyfriend's the jealous type."  
  
Spike grinned, took another bite. "What'll he do if he finds out?"  
  
She picked off a piece of pepperoni, ate it. "Probably kick his ass. Yell at me. Cry a little."  
  
Spike made an amused sound. "Thought you said you liked the bad ass type. Crying? What else does this wanker do?"  
  
Buffy considered. "He whispers the best poetry. And he watches Passions. And he can purr."  
  
Spike hid a grin. "And you like that?"  
  
She leaned her head back, making a satisfied noise in the back of her throat. "A world of yes."  
  
He smiled, letting a quiet purr start. "Tell me more about this guy. What do you do together?"  
  
She smiled. "We play on swings. And have picnics. And cuddle. He's a great kisser."  
  
Nodded thoughtfully. "Hmm. An impressive list. What do you like about him? Things he does, I mean."  
  
Deep, contemplative sigh. "He has an accent. He talks to my kid sister. He has this... way, that he touches me, and he lets me know, without saying a word, that I'm his. And he's arrogant and humbled by it at the same time."  
  
"And what do you do that he likes? From your point of view."  
  
Slow, female smile. "His back and ribs are sensitive. So is his collarbone and neck. I make sure that they're never neglected. And his earlobes."  
  
Spike gave a slight shiver. God, just the mention... Bad vampire. He smiled at her. "So.. Why'd you want me to give your number to the guy I know?"  
  
"Because, I've never seen him out and out jealous before. But maybe you shouldn't. I think I'm gonna keep him."  
  
Spike nodded playfully. "Good idea. I think he needs you. More than either of you know or care to admit."  
  
She felt a slow, warm tug of pleasure. "Probably."  
  
He grinned. Finished his last slice of pizza. "Now. Anymore requests, my lady?"  
  
She thought. "Mmm... Nope."  
  
Nodded. "Ok then." Got up, and headed into another room. A glow slowly began to come from in there.  
  
Her curiosity got the best of her, and she followed him. The room was a bedroom, complete with satin sheets. There were more candles, and Spike was on the bed, flat on his stomach, no shirt, seemingly asleep.  
  
She smiled, crawled up the bed to nip at his back till she reached the back of his neck.  
  
Oh no. Not again. He was going to stay still this time. Fake snore, but slightly more believable than his previous ones.  
  
She licked a slow trail up to his hairline, blew on it.  
  
Slight shiver, nuzzled deeper into the pillow.  
  
She dipped her head, found his earlobe, ran her tongue along the edge of it, accompanied by a tiny nibble.  
  
Shit... Ok. Be strong. Be strong.  
  
She continued to do things to his earlobe, while trailing fingers up and down his spine, applying just the right kind of pressure.  
  
Oh god. Nononono. Hold on, vampire. You can do it...  
  
She pulled away from his ear, blew cold air it.  
  
Closed eyes crossed. Think fast. Very shaky fake snore.  
  
She ran one leg up his, and continued her very tender assault on his ear and spine.  
  
Can't... hold on... much.. longer...  
  
She reached her other hand between where he lay, and where she did, rubbing gently at his ribs, while increasing the pressure of her teeth on his ear slightly, her leg still on his, and one hand streaking down his spine.  
  
That did it. He rolled with incredible speed and began quickly on her neck. Kissing, licking, sucking slightly, and anything else he could think of.  
  
Her head tilted back, offering more of her neck, and she let out a small whimper. He moved against her, using his knowledge of this particular Slayer's weak points to his advantage as she had been doing with him. A noisy sigh caught in her throat, and she arched against him. He continued with the single-mindedness that was indicative of vampires. Finding the spot beneath her ear with his mouth, and the spot on her side with a hand. Her hands were on him, his ribs, his back, his shoulders, his hair. Spike was very close to going into a frenzy, and that was why he had to pull back. Rule one. The big rule. The only one left, really.  
  
She felt his pause, used it and her pelvis to push up, twist, reversing their positions. Spike let out a surprised yip as he found the Slayer suddenly on top of him. Also, what she had done to get them that way was having a slight effect as well. Her knees on either side of his hips, she leaned down, kissed him hard. It wasn't warmth, it was heat. He growled slightly into her mouth, returning the kiss. His hands roamed over her back, found their way beneath her shirt, and continued to roam. She pushed forward into his hands. One hand held her up, another wandered his torso, between them to touch his belt fleetingly, then moved back over his chest, she angled her head slightly, deepening the kiss. Spike moaned into her mouth, one of his hands found her bra clasp, and pulled away from it. Rule one. Big rule. Bad vampire. 'Luv.. Gotta stop now.'  
  
She rolled her hips into his in response.  
  
She knew what she was doing. Hell, there was no way to miss it. He pulled back slightly, panting. "Luv.. What...?"  
  
She pulled in a breath of her own, her lips swollen. "Remember... how we said... When we were ready?"  
  
He looked in her eyes, his blue orbs meeting her hazel ones. "Yeah. Are you.. feeling ready?"  
  
She rocked her hips against his again, leaning down to capture his lips again, another searing kiss. "God, yes," she mumbled against his mouth.  
  
Spike nuzzled their foreheads together, then began to plant a trail of soft kisses down her throat. "Well... We're not.. going anywhere... soon." Pulled back, looked her in the eyes again. "And I've been ready...", said softly, an unspoken question passing between them.  
  
Buffy took a deep breath. This time would be different. They had worked hard to ensure that it would be. She ran her hands down his chest slowly, exhaling the whole time. She pulled back far enough to place another kiss, softer, lingering, more questioning. She looked into his eyes. The words were harder to get out than she had thought. "Make love to me."  
  
He saw it in her eyes when she said it. Knew that they were ready. But one more thing had to be said. He rested their foreheads together. Purred softly, "*Me in you...*"  
  
"You in me."  
  
"*Always...*" Meant it. With all his heart. All his SOUL, he meant it more now than ever.  
  
Her heart felt full, like this was what she was waiting for. "*Forever*."  
  
Two minds.. Two hearts... Two souls... Two bodies... Two worlds... One love.  
  
Always and forever.  
  
END  
  
Author's Notes 1: Tigerwolf: Well folks, this is it. The official end of the never ending fic. Sorry to everyone who wanted a graphic sex scene. We tried, but this was the best we could do without offending our morals. Also, for those people who don't like my style of Spike, I'd like to say three things. A: No one knows as of yet how James is gonna play Souled!Spike, so I might be closer or further than any of us know. B:If you don't like the way I write Spike, why are you still reading this? lol. Go read someone who writes him the way you like him. And C: In our next collaboration, Sunrise and I are going back in time and answering a challenge that I thought up one night on too much caffeine. We will change one thing near the end of season five and then rewrite all of season six from that new point. As for what the change is? I'm not telling. You'll have to read it. lol  
  
Now, I'd like to thank some people in the peanut gallery. lol. First and foremost, Tequila Sunrise, my writing partner and best online friend. Who cares if I live in Texas and you in Ohio? Thank god for MSN. To Sunrise's RL Dawnie, thanks for your idea, the cheese guy is so funny!! lol. And finally, all our reviewers. Whether you liked it or not. Now, in the words of Spike's favorite cartoon character (in my world, anyway, lol): T T F N, Ta Ta For Now!  
  
Tiger  
  
Author's Notes 2, Tequila Sunrise: Well, guys, wasn't this one hell of a long story?? lol I hope you enjoyed it. We put our hearts, souls and the spare time we didn't have to begin with in here. Thank you so much for all your constructive criticism, your praise, and just reading it this far with us, period. It means more than you know, and I hope none of you are disappointed by it. We've decided we're just no good apart, so we're writing another one!!!! lol (jk about us being bad apart, you know) It's called Ohana, and it takes place in our own Alternate Universe stemming from "Intervention". I hope you'll all read that one as well. I'd like to thank Tigerwolf, for working with me, around me, and being a great friend besides being the best Spike ever. And to my RL Dawnie. We'd have been screwed without your idea. Thanks so much for reading, all the time, and being so great. And to my own sleep-deprived body: thank you for still functioning. : ) I greatly appreciate it. Tigerwolf, What have we gotten ourselves into??  
  
Always your... Tequila Sunrise  
  
PS~ and thanks to Joss, that bastard, for torturing us, and knowing we love every minute of it. And giving us Nakee Spike, too... Mrawr.... 


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